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Euijoo corners Nicholas a day before their Seoul concert.

Nicholas knows he’s kind of fucked the moment Euijoo’s eyes lock onto his—there’s a hint of confusion and frustration, but also overwhelming determination. Nicholas wouldn’t be able to get out of this even if he tried, so he decides to stay silent as Euijoo closes the door behind him.

“We need to talk,” Euijoo says in his leader voice, something that Nicholas is used to hearing in group conversations and rarely in private ones—at least ones that he’s involved in. It’s strangely intimidating to have it be directed at him alone in a cramped bedroom with Euijoo’s full attention on him.

Nicholas sits up in his bed. “About what?” he asks, even though he kind of already knows the answer to his question. 

Euijoo is silent for a while, standing frozen by the door as he thinks of what to say, or more precisely, the best way to say it. That’s one of the things that makes Euijoo a great leader; he likes to solve things quickly and pragmatically, but he’s always so nice about it. Euijoo is inherently warm and kind and always takes people’s feelings into account before making a decision. He never chastises the members for their mistakes, choosing instead to reflect upon himself and what it means to be a leader, and he’s always there to help work things out if they ever go awry. 

“Did I do something wrong?” he finally says, and it’s so Euijoo that Nicholas feels a pang of guilt in his chest. It would have been more straightforward to ask Nicholas what his deal was, but of course Euijoo turned it into introspection and blamed himself for Nicholas’ recent strange behavior. It probably didn’t even cross his mind that Nicholas has been avoiding him for reasons that’s so far from the realm of anything even remotely close to normal. Nicholas wishes Taki would burst into the room right now and end this confrontation, but Euijoo had probably already given him a heads up. 

“What makes you say that?” Nicholas asks. “Is it because of the tweet that’s going around where I said I felt upset while hanging out with you? That was just a joke.”

“It doesn’t seem like a joke when you’ve been avoiding me all week,” answers Euijoo. 

“I didn’t think I was,” Nicholas says, playing dumb, even though it’s apparent to anyone who has a pair of eyes that he’s been avoiding Euijoo for the past few days, evading his attempts at conversation and refusing to even sit next to him in the car. No one has really said or done anything about the seemingly one-sided fight, except for Fuma who had given him a weird look during today’s fansign and pushed Nicholas to stand next to Euijoo for pictures despite his silent protests. 

Euijoo raises an eyebrow. “You were definitely avoiding me.” He sees right through Nicholas’ bullshit––it’s both a blessing and a curse to have someone know you so deeply. “I just want to know what I did wrong so I can make it up to you and you can stop being so skittish around me.”

Nicholas takes a moment to think. There is no universe where he could say “do you remember the time you called me hyung in a live? Well, turns out I’m a bit of a freak and I’ve accidentally uncovered a part of me I didn’t even know was hidden, and I’ve jerked off to the thought more times than I’d like to admit, so really it’s not your fault, I’m actually just fucking crazy” and Euijoo would be understanding, so instead he opts for, “I’m just a bit out of it––the concerts are kind of taking a toll on me.” 

“Oh,” Euijoo says, and Nicholas isn’t entirely sure that he’s convinced, but he seems sympathetic. It probably wasn’t the answer Euijoo was expecting, but it’s a perfectly reasonable answer, and reasonable is what Nicholas needs. It’s a believable and simple enough lie that Euijoo couldn’t poke holes into. “Okay. Well. There’s only two days left until it’s over––keep your chin up. After that you can sleep in for a whole week.” 

Nicholas laughs mostly because he knows there’s no way in hell that the company will let them rest for that long, but also because of how awkward Euijoo looks as the conversation shifts to a direction he wasn’t expecting. Knowing Euijoo, he most likely already had an apology ready to go even though he isn’t even sure why Nicholas had been avoiding him. He was already prepared to take the blame––Nicholas can’t help but feel guilty. 

“You do your best, too,” Nicholas says––he means for it to sound encouraging but his voice comes out weaker than he intended. 

Euijoo smiles at him, and it’s heart wrenching. He reaches for the doorknob but pauses midway, turning back to look at Nicholas. “Nico,” he starts, voice soft, “you know you can always tell me if there’s something up, right?”

“Yeah,” Nicholas smiles tightly. “Of course.” 

🍓🍊

It started out as a joke, really. 

They’re not really that fussy about honorifics anyway as a team. Maki calls Yuma hyung but not Nicholas, and Nicholas doesn’t really care. Their birthdays are only two months apart, so there’s no reason for Euijoo to call Nicholas hyung. That’s why it’s funny. It’s banter. It’s a bit . 

Well. At least it was supposed to be. 

Euijoo would never acknowledge him as a hyung, which gives him a strange sense of satisfaction whenever Euijoo tags the honorific behind his name, even if the way he says it is teasing and wholly unserious. 

They were on a Weverse Live together and Nicholas had been badgering Euijoo into calling him hyung, and he had done so, albeit a bit begrudgingly. Nicholas watched the hearts and comments fly across the screen, feeling particularly pleased that he had managed to get Euijoo to say it in front of so many of their fans. They had laughed about it afterwards, and Nicholas was supposed to forget about this interaction and continue on with his life. 

Except he didn’t. 

Nicholas isn’t sure what happened. He doesn’t even know why it’s this particular instance that clung onto him and not the other handful of times Euijoo had called him hyung. Nicholas blames it on hormones––he’s been pent up lately, and living in a dorm with eight other men doesn’t exactly give him the privacy he desperately needs. He can’t even go for a one night stand because he’s an idol and the amount of work that would have to be done after to ensure his privacy is frankly just not worth it. There’s another unspoken third option that Nicholas just doesn’t have the balls to do: he could hook up with one of his bandmates––K and Fuma are not as discreet as they think they are, and either one of them would likely sleep with Nicholas if he asked. Hell, even Yuma would probably accept if Nicholas initiated. But alas, he’s a coward, and he doesn’t trust himself to be able to keep things casual after, so he only has himself and his hand to rely on.

The sound of Euijoo’s voice calling him hyung doesn’t leave his head all night, sticking into the crevices of his brain like toffee. It’s playful and teasing at first, and then the depraved switch in his brain turns on, and suddenly Nicholas is wondering what Euijoo would sound like under him, on top of him, whiny, demanding––

Do you like that, hyung? You take it so well, hyung, so good for me.  

It’s normal , Nicholas had told himself when he put his hand down his boxers. He’s a healthy twenty-two-year-old with a sex drive. Taki was watching a movie in Maki and Yuma’s room, so he could at least get this done in the comfort of his own bed. It’s normal , Nicholas told himself as he pumped his fist up and down. Euijoo is objectively good looking and he’s pretty sure everyone in their group has had a small crush on him at one point. It’s normal. It’s so fucking normal. 

Nicholas came embarrassingly quick, the product of having been pent up for so long, to the mental image of Euijoo grinding against him, whispering hyung hyung hyung in his ears. 

It’s only when he was cleaning himself off in the bathroom, post-nut clarity hitting him like a ton of bricks and shame crashing over him in waves, that he accepted it’s not normal after all. 

Nicholas told himself that it was a one time thing and that it would never happen again, but it was as if his brain had nothing else to fantasize on, putting Euijoo in the center of his depravity every time he had gotten off in the following days. Nicholas was riddled with guilt and embarrassment, and the only thing he could think of to stop it was to avoid Euijoo altogether. Maybe the distance would help Nicholas get his head back on straight. 

It wasn’t exactly the most mature plan, but it had worked, if only for a bit.

Euijoo is perceptive, even if he doesn’t seem like it sometimes. Of course he would notice if Nicholas is acting weird, and of course he would confront him about it. Nicholas is a fool for expecting that Euijoo would just let him be, but what’s done is done. He had given Euijoo a lousy but believable excuse, and Euijoo had accepted it without suspicion. 

It should be over. At least, Nicholas really hopes it is. 

🍓🍊

They wrap up their tour with two shows in Seoul. It was a bit of a blur––Nicholas had been running on adrenaline for the last two days, just enough to give him that final burst of energy to get through the concerts. It seems unfair that the tour ended so quickly after months and months of endless preparation, but Nicholas is thankful for the three days of rest the company had so graciously given them before their anniversary fanmeeting. 

They order take-out the night of their last show to celebrate, and Nicholas had decided to sit next to Euijoo in the living room to show him that he’s absolutely fine now and is definitely not avoiding him anymore, which is kind of a mistake because Nicholas startles every time Euijoo so much as brushes against him. But it’s still bearable. Nicholas can get through it. He distracts himself by shoving meat and rice into his mouth, laughing at one of Taki’s lame jokes and occasionally chiming into whatever rowdy conversation the group is having. Euijoo is a warm, inescapable presence beside him, and Nicholas is pointedly trying not to look at him. 

Then K brings out the alcohol, and everything goes downhill from there.

Nicholas does not have a high tolerance, but the cans of Strong Zero were too tempting to turn down. He had learned the hard way how badly Strong Zero can fuck him up, so he drinks slowly, taking small sips between bites of food. Beside him, Euijoo is chugging it like it’s nothing. 

Nicholas definitely feels a little buzz as he’s halfway through with his Strong Zero, his movements getting less precise the more he drinks, and he inevitably spills tangsuyuk sauce all over himself. He’s staring down sadly at his ruined shirt when he feels someone lean close to him. 

“You’ve made a mess of yourself,” Euijoo chides, breath hot against Nicholas’ ear. Nicholas whips his head up so quickly that he fears he might have pulled something and comes face to face with Euijoo, all bright eyes and flushed cheeks. Euijoo takes a scrunched up piece of tissue and wipes away at the sauce on Nicholas’ shirt, and the sudden warmth of his palm against Nicholas’ chest is too much for him to handle.

Whoever said that alcohol is one of the leading causes of erectile dysfunction is lying because Nicholas is so embarrassingly hard right now that he feels like he might actually die if he doesn’t do something about it. Euijoo is still looking at him, smiling playfully, ignorant to the turmoil happening in Nicholas’ head and pants. Nicholas pushes away Euijoo’s hand and stands up so abruptly that he almost knocks the coffee table over, earning him several concerned looks from the others.

“I think I’m going to throw up,” he lies, booking it to the bathroom. 

🍓🍊

Nicholas spends the entire first day of their short break locked up in his bedroom. He had turned down an invitation to go shopping with Yuma and Harua, telling them that he isn’t feeling well and would rather get some rest. He slept through the entire afternoon, so at least he wasn’t lying about the part where he needed rest––sleeping meant that he wouldn’t have to think about Euijoo, or the current circumstances surrounding Euijoo. He’s dreading the next time he has to face him because he knows he’s run out of excuses and if he keeps up this weird behaviour Euijoo is going to no doubt question him again. 

 And of course, because the universe likes to fuck around with Nicholas, Euijoo is standing in the kitchen when Nicholas finally musters up enough willpower to drag himself out of bed to find something to eat. Nicholas didn’t mean to freeze up when he sees Euijoo, but he does, and it hadn’t gone unnoticed. Euijoo looks at him worriedly, and there’s a hint of apprehension in his voice when he asks, “You feeling better? Harua told me you were sick.” 

Nicholas swallows dryly. He opens the fridge and grabs the first thing he sees––a half-eaten cha siu bun from god knows when––and replies, “Yeah, I’m good,” before scurrying back into his room. 

🍓🍊

Euijoo ambushes him the next afternoon, catching Nicholas unawares in his room. He almost drops his phone on his face when the door swings open and Euijoo walks in with a bowl of fried rice, offering it to him like some kind of peace treaty. 

Nicholas raises an eyebrow in question. Euijoo just shrugs and says, “You barely ate yesterday.”

“Thanks.” Nicholas accepts the bowl and takes a bite––the rice is warm and smells wonderful. He doesn’t realize how hungry he actually is until he empties the bowl in under five minutes, Euijoo silently watching him all the while. The scrutiny should make him nervous, but mostly he feels kind of touched that Euijoo had been worrying about him. 

Nicholas places the empty bowl on his bedside drawer, and then there’s a beat of stillness as both of them are unsure of what to say. Euijoo’s eyes are still locked onto him, analyzing, as if he’ll be able to pinpoint what’s wrong with Nicholas just by looking at him. He finally makes the first move and sighs, walking over to sit on the foot of Nicholas’ bed, the mattress dipping from his weight. 

“You’ve been acting… weird… lately,” Euijoo starts slowly as if he’s afraid of scaring Nicholas off, and to be fair, Nicholas is trying to think of an excuse to slip away from this conversation. Euijoo repeats what he had said days ago, “You can always tell me if there’s something wrong.” 

He’s so earnest that it makes Nicholas’ heart hurt, and all the guilt and shame from the past week comes crashing onto him all at once like a semi-truck, leaving Nicholas’ body in tatters. He feels awful for thinking of his friend in that way, and even worse that he made Euijoo worry over him so much. He knows that Euijoo is giving him an out right now and he should take it––getting it off his chest would help, if Euijoo doesn’t slap him across the face first. 

So Nicholas comes clean. He tells Euijoo everything that’s been going on, cheeks burning and eyes looking at anything else but Euijoo, whose face is strangely impassive. He’s always been good at masking his emotions, but Nicholas wishes that he would lash out just this once. Yell at him––he deserves it anyway––or hit him, anything is better than the calm facade he has on now. 

Nicholas ends his rambling with, “I am so sorry,” because what else is there to say? He knows he’s fucked up and things between them are probably ruined forever, but if anything Nicholas needs Euijoo to know how remorseful he is. 

After what seems like an eternity of silence, Euijoo finally says, “Okay.” He takes a deep breath and pulls his legs up so he’s sitting cross-legged on the bed, placing his hands over his knees. He turns to Nicholas. “So what can I do to help?” 

Nicholas must have heard wrong. “Excuse me?” 

“I’m not here to shame you or anything like that,” Euijoo says, “and before you ask, no , I’m not mad at you.” Nicholas feels all the tension suddenly leave his body at Euijoo’s words––he had already prepared himself for the worst, to bear the brunt of Euijoo’s anger, but of course Euijoo would never condemn him. He’s trying to be understanding of Nicholas’ situation, as degenerate as it was. “I could probably help, I think. Since––You know–– I’m kind of the reason why you’ve been feeling this way.” 

“Right,” Nicholas groans. “You don’t have to, like, reiterate that fact. It’s embarrassing enough as it is.”

Euijoo grins, and Nicholas is struck by how composed he is. If someone Nicholas is close to confesses to him that they get off on the fantasy of Nicholas calling them hyung, he doesn’t think he would react as calmly. “Sorry. But it’s the truth.” He turns so he’s fully facing Nicholas now, his face set in a determined expression. “What can I do?” 

“I honestly don’t know,” Nicholas admits. “I don’t even know why you calling me hyung got me so riled up. It literally has never happened before.”

Euijoo snickers. “You’re just really horny, I think.”

Nicholas glares at him. “You’re making it seem like I’m a pubescent teenager.”

“You’re kind of acting like one.” 

Nicholas reaches back for his pillow and aims it at Euijoo’s head. Euijoo catches it midair. “Wow. This is the thanks I get for trying to help?”

“Making fun of me isn’t helping ,” Nicholas says petulantly, and Euijoo just snickers again. 

“Alright. Sorry. I’ll stop now,” he says, placing the pillow to the side. He’s chewing on his bottom lip, a faraway look in his eyes that he gets whenever he’s thinking about something really hard. After a while, he finally blurts out, “Exposure therapy.” 

“Pardon?” 

“Exposure therapy,” Euijoo repeats. “Like, you know, if you’re afraid of spiders they’ll make you hold them so you’ll be less scared of them.” 

“So you’re just going to start calling me hyung and just hope that I’ll become desensitized to it?” 

Euijoo shrugs. “It’s worth a shot. What do we have to lose?” 

Nicholas sits up fully, crossing his legs too so that he’s mirroring Euijoo. It sounds stupid, but Euijoo is right––there are no stakes, and if it turns out that it’ll help then it’s worth trying. “Okay. Shoot.” 

Euijoo blinks and licks his lips, and the anticipation is making Nicholas feel a bit ill. “Nicholas- hyung ,” Euijoo finally says, experimentally and slowly, as if he’s testing out the word on his tongue. He isn’t teasing this time, which makes it approximately a hundred times more unbearable for Nicholas. And, because Euijoo is Euijoo and knows exactly the right buttons to push, he adds on, “Nico- gege .”

Nicholas’ brain short circuits. He feels all the blood in his body rush south and it takes everything in him not to pounce on Euijoo right then and there. 

“Oh my fucking god,” Nicholas groans. He feels his cheeks heating up and he shifts in his place to better hide the growing tent in his pants from Euijoo’s line of sight, but it was too late. Euijoo had definitely seen his boner, judging by the surprised look on his face. 

“Oh, wow ,” Euijoo breathes out in disbelief. “Okay. I didn’t think that was all it would take.” 

“Shut up.” Nicholas buries his face in his hands and lets himself fall forward onto his bed, wishing that the ground would open up and swallow him whole. Maybe if he tries hard enough he could self-induce a heart attack and he’ll die so that he won’t have to face Euijoo ever again. 

He’s ready for Euijoo to laugh at him, to ridicule him, but instead he feels a warm pair of hands on his shoulders, hoisting his body up. 

“Hey,” Euijoo says gently. “Look at me.” 

Nicholas doesn’t want to, not really, but he couldn’t help but comply, peering at Euijoo through the slits of his fingers. Euijoo is watching him, but there’s no judgment in his eyes. He’s even smiling slightly as if this whole thing is somewhat amusing to him. Euijoo’s fingers wrap around Nicholas’ wrists and he tugs his hands away from his face. He’s leaning in so close that Nicholas has no choice but to really look at him.

“Just kill me, please,” Nicholas murmurs.

Euijoo rolls his eyes and laughs before he closes the gap between them and captures Nicholas’ lips in a kiss. 

The first instinct Nicholas has is to kiss back. He’s only human, after all, and Euijoo’s lips are soft and warm, and the fingers tugging lightly at the hair on his nape feel good. Euijoo’s mouth opens up easily for Nicholas to slide his tongue into, deepening the kiss, and it’s only when the other man lets out a soft sigh of contentment that Nicholas realizes what they’re doing. 

Euijoo––his bandmate, leader, co-worker, best friend––had kissed him, and Nicholas is kissing him back. 

Nicholas pulls away abruptly, suddenly hyper aware of everything around him: the muffled sounds of the TV from the living room, the unlocked door, the heat in Euijoo’s cheeks, the dazed look in his eyes, his spit slicked lips and quiet panting. One of his hands is now resting on Nicholas’ bare knee, the touch white hot.

“I said kill me, not kiss me,” Nicholas says lamely, still reeling from what they’ve just done. Euijoo, on the other hand, looks unshaken. 

“If the exposure therapy isn’t going to work, then maybe fulfilling your fantasies is,” Euijoo explains, and god––it should be mortifying, but Nicholas can’t really bring himself to care anymore. “I’m down for it if you are, hyung .” 

It’s kind of pathetic how easily Nicholas gives in. He’s surging back to kiss Euijoo as soon as the last syllable leaves his lips, and this time the kiss is even more heated, open mouthed and messy. Every move Nicholas makes is fueled by desperation, and before he knows it he has Euijoo pushed up against the wall, his thighs caging Euijoo’s as he straddles him. Euijoo’s hands are on his face, on his shoulders, touching him everywhere as if Nicholas will disappear if he isn’t. His movements start to creep south, and suddenly he has a hand over the bulge in Nicholas’ shorts, palming him. Nicholas groans, burying his face into the crook of Euijoo’s neck to stifle it, hips rutting involuntarily against Euijoo. 

“Sorry,” Nicholas gasps out, voice sounding wrecked even in his own ears.

“You don’t have to apologize,” Euijoo says. “You can––You can go ahead and do it.” 

“You’re crazy,” says Nicholas, but his body moves despite himself. Euijoo’s permission is all he needed to let go of his inhibitions. He’s grinding against Euijoo, the friction overwhelming but at the same time not enough; his movements become increasingly frantic as he chases more, more, more .

Euijoo holds him steady through it all. “You’re doing so good, gege ,” he says, soft and sweet, and the sudden switch to Nicholas’ mother tongue makes him feel faint. Nicholas grips onto the fabric of Euijoo’s shirt, careful not to dig his nails into his skin. A whimper escapes Nicholas’ lips as he catches how intently Euijoo is watching him, pupils blown wide. Euijoo’s attention, the way he sounds when he’s calling Nicholas gege , his palm against the small of Nicholas’ back––it’s too much for him. Nicholas’ body starts to tremble with every roll of his hips, and soon enough he’s coming with a choked sob, the sound of it muffled as he buries his face in Euijoo’s chest.

Nicholas spends a minute or so catching his breath, draped limply all over Euijoo; he’s still holding onto him, rubbing small circles in his back as Nicholas comes down from his orgasm. Euijoo was right––he is a horny, pubescent teenager that comes embarrassingly quick from dry humping. It’s crazy. This whole situation is truly fucking insane, and Nicholas should be worrying about the consequences of this, how this will affect their relationship and dynamic in the future, but the only thing Nicholas can currently think of is that Euijoo now knows what he looks like when he comes. 

Nicholas is about to detach himself from Euijoo when he notices the tent in the other’s pants. He glances up at Euijoo whose eyes are locked onto him––his gaze isn’t hungry, per se, but it’s something quite close to it, and Nicholas involuntarily shudders at the realization that he’s the cause of it, of Euijoo’s flushed skin and dark, blown eyes. 

Nicholas swallows. “I can––Do you want me to––?”

Euijoo doesn’t even give him time to finish his question. “Yes,” he breathes out, “please.”

 Nicholas wasn’t even sure what he was offering in the first place, but regardless he hooks his fingers onto the waistband of Euijoo’s sweats and tugs them down along with his boxers. He can’t help but think that Euijoo’s cock is pretty, flushed and hard against his stomach. Nicholas wraps his fingers around it, stroking up and down the length slowly, tentatively, watching the change in Euijoo’s expression.

Euijoo lets out a low whine before he clasps a hand over his mouth, and Nicholas had forgotten that there are other people in the dorm besides them. He should probably lock the door but he can’t find it in him to pry himself away from Euijoo.

Nicholas thumbs the slit of Euijoo’s cock, smearing pre-cum all over his hand—it elicits a punched-out groan from Euijoo that has Nicholas’ spent dick twitching in interest. He works up a rhythm, his hand moving languidly as if they have all the time in the world, Euijoo squirming underneath his grip, trying to keep quiet. Cute , Nicholas thinks, and he leans forward to close the distance between them, licking into the roof of his mouth.

Nicholas briefly wonders how Euijoo would react if he were to put his mouth on him. Will he still be able to hold back his moans? How much self-restraint does he have––will he let Nicholas do all the work, or will he fuck into his mouth until Nicholas’ jaw aches, desperate for release? 

You can go ahead and do it , rings Euijoo’s voice in his head; Nicholas is too far gone to think rationally, so he detaches himself from Euijoo’s lips and bends down, swallowing around Euijoo’s cock.

“ Fuck, ” Euijoo hisses, clearly not expecting it. He bucks up unconsciously, hitting the back of Nicholas’ throat, and Nicholas has to choke back a curse. He places a hand on Euijoo’s hip, holding him down, and Euijoo glances down at him apologetically. 

“Sorry,” he says, reaching over to brush the hair out of Nicholas’ forehead. It’s such a tender gesture that Nicholas has to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from whining. “I didn’t mean to do that.” 

“S’okay,” Nicholas mumbles. He presses the flat side of his tongue to the underside of Euijoo’s cock, licking a long stripe from the base to the tip. He hollows his cheeks, and the grip Euijoo has in his hair tightens. 

Euijoo breathes out, “Feels good, hyung.” And––yeah, Nicholas is definitely hard again. He takes his free hand and palms himself over his shorts, not missing the way Euijoo’s eyes follow his movements. Nicholas bobs his head, keeping rhythm, drooling all over himself and Euijoo, and it’s not long after that Euijoo starts to recoil from his touch.

“Ah––Nico, I’m gonna––”

Nichola pulls off Euijoo’s cock with an obscene pop, a string of saliva connecting his mouth to its tip. Euijoo looks frazzled, eyes glassy and cheeks a pretty shade of pink, and something stirs deep in the pit of Nicholas’ belly, hot and greedy. 

“Juju,” Nicholas says, voice shattered, “will you fuck me?” Euijoo’s mouth falls open, and Nicholas adds pathetically, “Please? ” 

Euijoo’s Adam’s apple bobs in his throat. “I–– Fuck , yeah, okay, if that’s what you want.” 

Nicholas wastes no time in getting rid of his ruined shorts, his hard cock slapping against his stomach, the tip of it already wet with pre-cum. He watches Euijoo discard his own pants, throwing them to the floor, lying in a messy pile next to Nicholas’ shorts. He positions himself so that he’s leaning against the headboard of his bed. “Condoms and lube are in the bedside drawer.” 

Euijoo reaches over and rummages through the drawers until he finds what he’s looking for. He settles himself between Nicholas’ legs, squirting lube onto his fingers. It’s only when he’s positioning his fingers against Nicholas’ hole that Nicholas becomes acutely aware of the unlocked door. 

“Wait—Lock the door,” Nicholas says. “Taki might come back.” 

“Most of the guys are out getting lunch,” says Euijoo, “but Yuma and Jo are home, so you still need to keep it down. Unless you want them to know that hyung likes to spread his legs for his dongsaeng?”

Nicholas might actually black out. “ Fucking hell ,” he groans, cock throbbing and painfully hard, and Euijoo has the audacity to laugh. 

Euijoo presses a finger in carefully, his other hand rubbing Nicholas’ thigh soothingly. “You’re so tense.” 

It’s not like Nicholas can help it. He’s not a virgin by any means but doing this with Euijoo is––well, it’s different. Euijoo knows him so intimately––they arrived at the company at approximately the same time, were put through a survival show that tore them to pieces and spat out their gory remains, had moved to another country together where they barely knew the language with the promise of a debut looming over their heads like fish bait; Nicholas had walked through hell and back, and Euijoo had been alongside him every step of the way. 

But this is another level of vulnerability that Nicholas never would have thought Euijoo would be privy to, and Nicholas isn’t sure how they’ll navigate the aftermath, but right now all he can feel is the waves of pleasure rolling through his body as Euijoo slips in a second finger, immediately finding his prostate.

Nicholas mewls, arching his back, and he has to stop himself from grinding down onto Euijoo’s fingers. Euijoo bends down and kisses his stomach, his fingers still sliding in and out, and he has to bite into the fabric of his t-shirt to stop himself from getting too loud. 

“If you keep that up, I’m going to––” Nicholas chokes out a broken gasp. Euijoo pulls his fingers out, wiping them on the sheets. 

Nicholas watches as Euijoo rolls the condom down his length, and when he glances up to catch Nichols looking at him, he smiles sheepishly as if he isn’t used to the attention. 

“You watching me is making me feel nervous,” Euijoo says. 

Nicholas rolls his eyes. “What is this? A monthly evaluation? Come over here and fuck me.” 

Euijoo laughs. “When did you get so bossy?” he teases, pushing Nicholas’ thighs further apart so he can line himself up. Nicholas stops him before he could do anything further; Euijoo regards him quizzically as Nicholas sits up and reaches over to pull Euijoo’s shirt off of him. 

“That’s better,” Nicholas says as he settles back down on the bed. Euijoo is lean, his chest flushed and shiny with sweat, his stomach toned from all the working out he’s been doing since their stylists currently have a proclivity of putting them in crop tops. 

“You could have just asked if you wanted to see me shirtless,” jokes Euijoo. 

“I would like to keep some semblance of self-respect,” Nicholas says, and Euijoo rolls his eyes. He wordlessly reaches over and rids Nicholas of his own shirt, eyes gleaming as he takes in the sight of Nicholas’ bare torso. 

“Now we’re even,” Euijoo says. He regards Nicholas silently for a second before he retrieves the pillow that Nicholas had thrown at him minutes before, placing it between Nicholas’ head and the wooden headboard. 

Nicholas is once again struck by the tender gesture, but he didn’t even get the chance to make a quippy remark––Euijoo pushes into him in one smooth motion, and Nicholas couldn’t help the moan that escaped from his lips, drawn-out and needy. Euijoo’s eyes flutter shut, his face contorting in pleasure, mouth slack.

“Fuck–– hyung ,” he rasps out, lips right next to the shell of Nicholas’ ear, “you’re so tight .” 

Nothing coherent is able to come out of Nicholas’s mouth; his mind is hazy with pleasure as Euijoo thrusts into him, finding a steady rhythm that has him curling his toes. It’s so, so overwhelming––the slap of Euijoo’s skin against his, Euijoo’s hot breath tickling his neck, Euijoo filling him up. He feels powerless. It’s maddening. It’s the best feeling in the entire world. Nicholas thinks he might actually explode. 

Euijoo lifts one of Nicholas’ legs up to get a better angle and––oh. If Nicholas thought it was overwhelming before, it’s fucking unbearable now. Every thrust of Euijoo’s hips draw out a sharp moan from Nicholas, and Euijoo has to kiss him to keep him quiet.

“So pretty, hyung,” Euijoo mumbles into Nicholas’ lips. “Only for me.” 

Nicholas feels delirious. “Only for you,” he echoes, dragging his nails down Euijoo’s back. “Juju––I’m close.” 

“Me too,” says Euijoo, and Nicholas feels him quicken his pace. His hand reaches between them and wraps around Nicholas’ cock.

“ Gege ––” he says, pumping his fist up one, twice––and that’s all it takes for Nicholas to come, trembling, mouth open in a quiet moan.

Euijoo follows not long after, his hips stuttering as he chases his orgasm, biting into Nicholas’ shoulder to stifle his groan.

Euijoo collapses on top of him and Nicholas could feel his pulse start to slow down as the minutes pass in silence, their laboured breaths the only sound in the room. Eventually, Euijoo pulls out, and Nicholas suddenly feels so empty. He cleans them both up after, because he’s Euijoo and he’s nothing if not considerate. He even helps Nicholas change his sheets.

“So,” Nicholas clears his throat as they heave the dirty bed sheets into the washing machine. The others aren’t home yet thankfully, and he could hear Yuma’s frantic screaming coming from Jo’s room as they’re playing whatever video game they managed to leech off Fuma; hopefully they were too distracted to notice the debauchery going on two rooms down. “Great talk. Very productive.” 

Euijoo snorts as he dumps detergent into the washer. He shuts the door with a soft thud and the machine rumbles to life. “Are you seriously trying to act nonchalant after what we’ve just done?”

“Do you not want me to?” 

Euijoo shrugs. His hair is still disheveled despite his best attempts to tidy it. “Not really. I would like for you to at least not act like it didn’t happen. It feels kind of weird if you do. Like you were just––I don’t know–– using me, or something.” 

“Ah, Byun Euijoo,” Nicholas teases, “ever the romantic.” 

Euijoo glares at him but there’s hardly any heat behind it. “Shut up. I helped you out and you’re mocking me. What a great hyung you are.”

Nicholas groans. “You can stop calling me that. It’s done. Over.” 

“But my birthday isn’t until next week,” Euijoo says, leaning into Nicholas’ space. He smiles, sweet and taunting. “I should make the most of it, should I not?” 

Nicholas rolls his eyes, but he doesn’t refuse.