Chapter Text
Regulus was aching to shut off his brain. He’d been going nonstop all week, between the paper he’d just finished, the group project hanging over his head, and the nagging voice in his head reminding him that he only had two pairs of clean boxers left. Needless to say, he hadn’t had a moment to rest, and any moment when he could was instead spent agonizing over everything he needed to get done.
He needed everything to stop, just for a few hours. As he let himself into his and James’s apartment, he relaxed minutely at the sight of his boyfriend sitting on the couch, the TV on as he typed on his laptop. Regulus locked the door behind him and set his keys down, smiling tiredly when James looked up at the sound.
“Hi baby,” James said as he closed his laptop and set it on the coffee table. “How was the library?”
Regulus groaned, dropping his bag to the floor and falling down onto the couch, his head resting in James’s lap. He closed his eyes with a pleased hum as James’s fingers automatically started carding through his hair.
“It was okay,” he murmured, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice. “Finished my paper, so that’s good.”
“That’s great, love! I’m so glad, one less thing on your plate, hm?”
“Mhm,” Regulus agreed half-heartedly.
“What’s wrong?”
He fluttered his eyes open, gazing up at James’s concerned face. Guilt twisted in his stomach and he squeezed his eyes shut again. He was trying to get better at communicating his needs, at telling James how he was feeling without thinking of it as a burden, but it was hard. He hadn’t ever had someone he could do that with, not since he was a little kid climbing into Sirius’s bed when he felt overwhelmed. Regulus was supposed to be perfect, he wasn’t supposed to need anyone to take care of him. The voice that said that sounded suspiciously like his mother’s, though.
“Talk to me, love,” James said softly, his fingers still soothing through Regulus’s hair. “I want to listen.”
“Just feeling overwhelmed,” he choked out, his voice small. “Everything’s just a lot and I can’t get my brain to shut up about all the shit I have to do.”
James hummed his acknowledgement, brushing a thumb between Regulus’s eyebrows. He relaxed, realizing he’d been holding his face tensely, surely forming the little wrinkle between his brows.
“I just want, like, an hour where I can just…not think,” he admitted. “Not make any decisions, not worry about what I’m supposed to be doing, not obsess over whether I’m doing everything wrong. I just want to be .”
As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Regulus knew what he wanted—no, what he needed tonight. It wasn’t something new for them, but he’d never really acknowledged why he liked it so much. He felt his face flush at just the thought, anxiety swimming in his stomach at the idea of broaching this to James. How could he phrase this so James would understand why he needed it, but wouldn’t think he was crazy for it?
“What’s going on in that pretty head, hm?” James asked gently, his touch a grounding presence as Regulus felt his head spin.
He swallowed heavily. He could do this. This was James, his James. Regulus had certainly shown his boyfriend parts of himself that would seem crazier than this, and he was still here. Besides, it wasn’t something new, not really. It was just another perspective, another piece of the puzzle.
“I…” He scrunched his eyes shut more tightly, trying to push past the anxiety clawing its way into his throat. He took a deep breath. “Would you want to, um, be in control tonight, maybe?”
He held his breath as he waited for James’s response. He felt the hands in his hair pause, and then there was a hand gently cupping his cheek. He turned towards it, nuzzling his face into the warm skin of James’s palm.
“Do you mind opening your eyes, love? Can you do that for me?”
Regulus felt his stomach twist, his hands curling into fists where his arms were crossed over his own stomach. He nodded jerkily, feeling his nails digging into his palms as he forced his eyes open. His racing pulse calmed slightly when he saw James looking down at him with nothing but love and curiosity. James’s soft gaze, his lovely hazel eyes, always managed to calm him a bit.
“There you are,” James murmured with a smile, his thumb rubbing up and down Regulus’s cheekbone. “This isn’t in any way a rejection of what you asked, you know I love to see you let go and let me take care of you. And this isn’t for me to make a judgment, but I need to know where your head is at. We haven’t done this when you’re upset, and I don’t want to do anything that might hurt either of us in any way, yeah?” Regulus nodded, the knot in his chest loosening slightly. “So, can you tell me why you’re asking for this tonight?”
Regulus breathed in deeply, holding air in his lungs before letting it out through his mouth, the way he’d been taught to do when his anxiety started to build up. Then he nodded again, moving from James’s lap to sit up beside him instead, his knees pulled up to his chest and his fingers fidgeting with the rings on his hands.
“When you take control, I get to turn off my brain. I don’t worry about whether I’m doing what I should be, or if I’m doing it well enough, or what’s going to come next, because you just…handle it all. You tell me what to do and tell me how good I am at it and when I should change what I’m doing. I…I feel like part of why I’m so stressed is that I have to be in control all the time, I have to be on top of what needs to be done and I have to do it all perfectly but also end up convincing myself I’ve done everything wrong. It makes my brain go into overdrive. But when I let you take control, everything just…goes quiet. It’s easy. I think that’s why I like it so much. And that’s what I need right now.”
James nodded along as he spoke, a gentle smile on his lips. “That absolutely makes sense, mi estrellita .” His eyes darkened a bit as his demeanor shifted. “And you know I am more than happy to give you that.”
Regulus flushed at the smirk now dancing on James’s lips. He felt his own teeth dig into his lower lip as his cheeks warmed, nodding in response and muttering an mhm .
“So,” James said in a low voice, his gaze intense. “You just want to be my good boy tonight?” Regulus squirmed, letting out a noise of embarrassment. “Hmm? You want to do everything I tell you to? Let me use you? Let me make you feel so, so good? Does that sound good to you, baby?”
Regulus nodded quickly, feeling the anxiety start to seep out of his body, replaced by an excitement thrumming in his veins. He looked up at James with wide eyes, hanging on his every word.
“What are your colors, love?”
Regulus swallowed, his mind feeling a bit floaty already. “Green for good, yellow for pause or check in, red for stop.”
“Good boy, Reg,” James affirmed, cupping a hand around Regulus’s cheek. He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to Regulus’s lips. A reward. James pulled back just enough for their eyes to meet, his gaze intense. “Now, I want you to go into the bedroom, strip down to your underwear, and wait for me on your knees beside the bed. Can you do that for me, baby?”
Regulus nodded quickly, his breath catching in his throat. James pressed one last lingering kiss to his lips before pulling away completely and nodding at Regulus to follow his instructions. With his pulse thrumming beneath his skin, Regulus got up eagerly and walked down the hall to their bedroom.
As soon as he got past the door, he immediately started shedding his clothes, throwing his shirt in the laundry basket. His shaky fingers fumbled a bit with the button on his pants, almost tripping in his haste to get them off his ankles. He glanced at his reflection in the full length mirror on the wall, pulling his lower lip between his teeth as he looked at the loose boxers he chose this morning. He’d been going for comfort, knowing he would be at the library for hours, but now they seemed an insufficient choice.
Pausing to listen, he still heard the TV playing in the living room, smiling as he decided he had time. He quickly went over to the dresser, opening his underwear drawer and rooting around until he found what he wanted. He shucked off his boxers, tossing them into the laundry basket, and pulled the lacy black panties up over his hips.
Taking a moment to look himself over in the mirror, he grinned at his reflection. He had bought these ones on impulse last month, but hadn’t been able to show them to James yet with how busy school had been. He knew James would love them, and he couldn’t help but giggle a bit to himself as he moved to kneel beside their bed. He could already feel himself getting wet, rubbing his thighs together slightly as he waited for James to come in.
He looked up as the door opened, meeting James’s hungry gaze as he walked towards where he kneeled on the floor, his knees cushioned by the soft rug beneath their bed. James stopped in front of him, his eyes dark as he looked down at Regulus.
“Such a good boy, following my instructions. So obedient, hm?” He said with a knowing smirk.
Regulus nodded eagerly, pressing his hands against the tops of his thighs. The anticipation always got him when they did this, wondering what James would do next, knowing he didn’t have to make any decisions. Knowing James would take care of him.
“So I’m thinking,” James started, his hands starting to undo the button on his jeans, “I’ll use your pretty mouth first.” He stepped out of his pants and moved his hand to cup Regulus’s face, his thumb running over his bottom lip. “Fuck your throat nice and deep like I know you like, hm?” He slipped his thumb into Regulus’s mouth, a smirk overtaking James’s lips as he immediately began to suck on it.
He pulled his thumb out of Regulus’s mouth, trailing the spit along his lips and down the line of his jaw. Regulus sat with his mouth still ajar, looking up at James expectantly. This was what he loved—not having to do anything but listen and follow clear instructions. No room for second-guessing or self-doubt. Just James.
James set his glasses on the bedside table before pulling his shirt over his head, discarding it behind him. He stepped out of his boxers and then slid both hands into Regulus’s hair, tilting his head back slightly. Regulus let his mouth fall open fully, his tongue laying flat, his lips an invitation. James took one hand off his head to wrap around his own cock, guiding the tip to rest on Regulus’s tongue. Grey eyes fluttered shut, feeling himself grow slicker in his panties.
“Eyes on me, baby,” James commanded gently, his hand moving back to join the other in Regulus’s hair. Regulus opened his eyes again, staring up at James. “Good boy. You know the rules, tap my leg if it gets too much, yeah?”
Regulus nodded as much as he could without dislodging the dick laying on his tongue. It seemed to satisfy James, who slowly pushed himself further into Regulus’s mouth, his hands cradling the back of his head. Regulus breathed deeply through his nose, making his muscles relax to let James in. He kept his eyes on James’s face, watching the pleasure show on his expression as he pushed his cock down Regulus’s throat. James’s gaze didn’t leave him once, his eyes trained on Regulus’s lips as they stretched around him.
He paused when his hips were flush with Regulus’s face, fingers tightening in his hair. Regulus breathed in the comforting scent of James’s skin, his nose pressed against him. He felt so perfectly full , no room for anything except James James James . It was heaven.
And then he went higher, James tugging his head back by his hair before pulling him forward again. Regulus felt his mind go blissfully blank as James fucked his mouth, his cock slipping down his throat each time he pulled him forward. Regulus let his eyes fall shut, giving himself over to James’s control, knowing he would take care of him.
This was what he was aching for. This lovely emptiness in his head, his thoughts only echoing James James James . The intoxicating feeling of being used in the best possible way. Being nothing but a toy for James’s pleasure, getting drunk off the sounds his boyfriend let out.
“So good for me, baby,” James groaned. That, too—the praise. He craved it, and James was always so happy to provide without Regulus needing to ask. “Taking me so well, love. Such a good little toy for me, hm? Your mouth was made for my cock.”
Regulus moaned, squeezing his thighs together as he felt his cunt pulse.
“You love this, don’t you?” James asked, the smirk clear in his voice. Regulus blinked his eyes open, staring up at James’s smug expression. The look in his eye made Regulus moan again. “Yeah, you love being my good little slut. Love letting me fuck your throat, sitting there obediently for me. You’re probably soaked already, aren’t you, love?” Regulus let out another moan, blinking up at James. “Always so eager to please me. So good for me, such a perfect slut for me.”
Regulus squeezed his eyes shut, feeling his cunt grow impossibly more slick. He clenched around nothing, focusing on the heavy feeling of James on his tongue. He swore he could get off from James’s words alone.
James’s thrusts became more erratic, pushing himself desperately into Regulus’s mouth. He opened his eyes and watched James’s face as he swallowed, reveling in the way it contorted in pleasure.
“Such a good boy, god, Reg. ‘m gonna come, fuck.” Regulus moaned around him, swallowing again eagerly, pushing down the urge to gag. “You want me to come down your throat, baby? Yeah? You want me to coat that tight little throat, make you swallow every drop?” Regulus moaned again, desperate to express his agreement, feeling his eyes tear up. “So good for me, Reg, always, fuck. Gonna make you take it, gonna fuck your pretty mouth, come down your lovely throat.”
James thrusted unevenly into Regulus’s mouth, once, twice, three more times, before stopping with his cock buried as far as it would go. Regulus breathed deeply through his nose, forcing his eyes to stay open even as he felt the tears start to fall down his cheeks. He gagged slightly, his eyes watering further, keeping his gaze trained on James’s face as it contorted with pleasure. James tangled his fingers tightly into Regulus’s hair, tugging on the strands as he finally spilled down his throat.
“So good, Reg, fuck,” James muttered as he slowly pulled out, running his thumb under Regulus’s bottom lip to collect the small drops of come that had spilled. He pushed his thumb past Regulus’s lips, feeding it back into his mouth, pressing down on his tongue. “Swallow it all, baby. That’s it, good boy.”
James released his other hand from Regulus’s hair, using it to wipe the tears that had fallen down Regulus’s cheeks. Then he cradled his face in his hand, looking down at him adoringly while Regulus continued to suck on his thumb.
“You did so good, my love,” James praised. “Such a good boy for me, so eager, so obedient.”
Regulus hummed appreciatively around James’s thumb, blinking up at him through eyelashes heavy with lingering tears.
“Think you deserve a reward for that. What do you think, baby?”
Regulus let out another hum, his thighs rubbing together at the thought of a reward. James pulled his thumb from between Regulus’s lips, reaching out his hands as an offering. Regulus took them, letting James pull him up onto his shaky legs. James wrapped one arm around his waist to keep him steady, cupping his cheek with the other hand. He leaned down, pressing his lips to Regulus’s.
Regulus let out a whimper, opening his mouth pliantly, letting James move him however he liked. He hummed happily against James’s lips, losing himself in the kiss. He let out a little whine as James pulled away, making the older boy laugh softly.
“Mmm, I know baby, but you want your reward, don’t you?” Regulus nodded eagerly. “Alright, then let’s get you on the bed, yeah?”
Regulus let James maneuver him onto the bed, laying his head against the pillows and climbing on top of him, pressing kisses to his skin. James left a trail of bites and kisses down his body, starting at his collar bones, down to his chest, stopping to mouth at his scars. He kissed down Regulus’s stomach, sucking marks into his skin as he went. He bit gently at his hip bones before looking back up at his face with admiration in his eyes.
“Oh, baby, are these new?”
Regulus let out a small noise of confusion before he felt James nose at the waistline of his panties. He flushed, squirming a little as he nodded. He’d completely forgotten about them in his floaty state.
“So pretty, baby, fuck. You look so good. I love them, you’re so perfect, Reg.”
James breathed hotly over his panties, Regulus letting out a whimper at the feeling. His cunt was begging for attention, dripping and pulsing in anticipation.
“Please, Jamie, fuck,” he whined, lifting his hips off the bed.
James wrapped his hands around Regulus’s hips, pushing him back down into the mattress. “So desperate, baby.” He taunted. “Already begging for it. Aren’t you gonna let me enjoy the show? Let me appreciate the art that you are?”
Regulus squirmed, feeling himself flush with embarrassment. He whined lowly, his hands fisting the sheets on either side of him. “‘m sorry. Just, just need—please,” he stuttered out.
“Mm, I know, baby. My little slut is always so desperate. Your cunt is just aching for it, isn’t it? Dying to be touched, hmm?”
Regulus nodded eagerly, resisting the urge to lift his hips again. He needed to be good , needed to listen.
“Do you want my mouth, love?”
Regulus nodded again, letting out a breathless, “Yes!”
James laughed, his breath hitting Regulus where he was dripping, making him squirm again. “Okay, baby, I know. I’ll give you what you want.”
Without a moment more of hesitation, James pulled the panties down Regulus’s legs, throwing them somewhere behind him before he attached his mouth to Regulus’s cunt. A loud moan burst from Regulus’s lips as James’s tongue found his clit, his lips wrapping around it and sucking harshly. He felt himself scream, feeling the pleasure take over his body as he gave himself over to it.
James kept one hand braced on Regulus’s stomach, pressing him into the mattress so he couldn’t move. His other hand joined his mouth, his thumb rubbing circles into Regulus’s clit as his tongue moved down, teasing at his opening. Regulus thrashed, his hips trying to buck up but being stopped by James’s steady hand. The feeling of being held down only intensified his pleasure, desperate sounds spilling from his lips.
“Please, please, Jamie, fuck! Please, need you inside, feel so empty, fuck, please, please!” Regulus cried, throwing his head back against the pillows.
James hummed against him, making Regulus’s body jerk at the vibrations. He wasted no more time, immediately thrusting his tongue into Regulus, fucking it into his hole. His thumb kept up its ministrations, rubbing harsh circles into his clit as he fucked into him over and over, drinking in the slick spilling out of him.
He pulled his mouth away suddenly, but before Regulus could let out a whine, he replaced his tongue with two fingers, thrusting them into his hole. Regulus cried out, unsure if he was even saying words anymore, overwhelmed with the feeling of finally being filled.
James curled his fingers up, rubbing at that spot inside that made Regulus see stars. He let out another scream, feeling like he could cry as James’s thumb came up to rub at his clit.
“That feel good, baby?” James murmured, resting his head against Regulus’s stomach as he looked up at him. Regulus felt himself nodding, more moans being punched out of him. “Such a good boy for me, letting me play with your cunt. You know how much I love it, hmm? Love to feel your pretty pussy clench around my fingers, taste the slick dripping out of you. Almost better than feeling you around my cock, I swear. Love getting to play with you for as long as I want.”
Regulus nodded dumbly, clenching his walls around James’s fingers almost subconsciously. James leaned down again, sucking his clit into his mouth. He felt himself barrelling towards the edge, his body shaking with pleasure.
“‘m close, fuck, Jamie, please, can I come? Please, please, fuck, oh god,” he begged.
James pulled off of him momentarily. “Of course, my love. Come for me, baby. Make a mess on my fingers and my tongue, let me taste you. Be a good little slut and come for me.”
That pushed him over the edge, his walls clenching around James’s fingers as he sobbed through his orgasm. He felt himself float higher and higher, nothing in his head except good and James and fuck . His hips bucked up off the bed over and over as James fucked him through it, his fingers pumping inside of his cunt and his mouth never leaving his clit. Regulus thrashed on the bed, screaming in pleasure and pushing towards James, losing himself to the feeling.
When Regulus started to squirm, clearly overstimulated, James pulled his mouth away, looking up at him as his fingers kept lazily moving inside of him. Regulus twitched at the feeling, clenching hard on his fingers, feeling right on the edge of too much . He looked down at James, feeling himself flush at the sight.
James’s face was covered in Regulus’s slick and come, a pleased smile on his face as he gazed up at Regulus. He finally pulled his fingers out, immediately putting them in his mouth, sucking obscenely on them to drink up the last of Regulus’s come. Regulus felt himself clench at the sight despite being so fucked out, his cunt twitching as James pulled his fingers out clean.
“Feeling good, my love?” James asked, smiling up at him.
Regulus laughed, feeling drunk on pleasure and still floaty. He nodded eagerly, letting his head fall back against the pillows. “Mhm, yeah,” he giggled.
James crawled up the bed, pressing kisses along Regulus’s skin all the way up to his lips. Regulus hummed into the kiss, tasting himself on James’s tongue. He felt absolutely blissed out, boneless and loose and happy .
James pulled back, pressing a kiss to either of Regulus’s cheeks, before moving to stand. Regulus whined, reaching out his arms and making grabby hands at James.
“Don’t worry, love, I’m just gonna get a towel to clean us up. I’ll be right back, promise.”
Regulus let his arms fall back onto the bed, sighing in defeat. His eyes fell shut, listening to the sound of James padding into the bathroom and turning on the tap, smiling blissfully at the familiar sounds and the heavy feeling in his limbs.
He felt a warm cloth wiping down the insides of his thighs and blinked his eyes open, smiling dopily up at James. He let his eyes flutter shut again, relaxing into the feeling.
“‘m just gonna clean you up, baby, sorry if it’s sensitive,” James murmured before swiping the cloth gently against his cunt. Regulus whined softly, still feeling overstimulated, and James whispered hushed apologies, pressing kisses into the skin on his stomach.
He settled once James pulled away, satisfied with his cleaning for now, and Regulus could hear him throw the towel towards the laundry basket. He ran a hand gently over Regulus’s cheek, and Regulus blinked his eyes open slowly.
“Hi, baby,” James said softly. “Gotta drink some water, okay?” Regulus whined, wanting to just curl up in James’s arms. “I know, honey, I know. Just a few sips, then we can cuddle, yeah?”
Regulus huffed but nodded, sitting up slightly as James grabbed his water bottle—the one with the straw, always best for these times— and held it out for Regulus to drink. He took several sips, feeling it soothe his throat despite not realizing before that it was sore. He pulled back and James took a few sips himself before putting it on his bedside table.
James moved back towards him, turning him gently onto his side, and then he was enveloped in warmth, wrapped up in James’s arms. Regulus hummed happily, burrowing his face into James’s chest and breathing in his scent.
“You did so good, baby,” James praised, running a hand through his hair. “So good for me, such a good boy. So proud of you, my love.”
Regulus smiled against James’s skin, letting out happy hums. This was perfect, it was exactly what he needed. His mind still felt calm, the floaty feeling lingering all throughout his body. He pressed little kisses against James’s chest, leaving traces of his gratitude on his skin as words still felt too hard. He felt himself starting to drift, his mind hazy and content.
“You can sleep, love,” James murmured, pressing a kiss to his hair. “I’ll be here. Just rest, baby.”
Regulus nodded sleepily against James’s chest, nuzzling further into him. He felt James pull the comforter over them, blanketing them in more warmth. James’s breathing lulled him gently to sleep, feeling utterly safe and content.