Archive of Our Own

It’s a weekend afternoon at Pothos, and among the bright sunlight drifting through the windows and a couple of polite, chatty seniors at the island bar at the front, there’s a group of teenage boys crowded into a booth towards the back, not dressed in their usual windbreakers for once.

It had been Tsugeura’s idea to meet up just to hang out, but it had been Suo who suggested Pothos over Muscle Power. Kiryu had been the one to suggest it be an evening meetup, but it had been Nirei who eventually won everyone over by suggesting it be brunch instead.

Sakura hadn’t suggested anything. He wouldn’t admit it unless privately interrogated, but he was just happy to be out with his friends.

The group currently sits in a booth, Nirei, Tsugeura, and Kiryu crammed into one side, with Sakura and Suo on the other. Normally, Nirei would be on the side with Sakura and Suo, but as the first one seated that day, he didn’t have much of a choice of who he sat by as Tsugerua and Kiryu shortly joined him.

(Sakura and Suo had been late; Sakura had been caught up helping an older gentleman unload a truck of fresh vegetables, unable to decline his request for assistance, and Suo had joined him after discovering the situation while on his own walk to Pothos.)

Empty plates are stacked on the end of the table for Kotoha to pick up, cups and mugs half-empty of their chosen drinks. There is laughter, mainly from Suo and Kiryu, as Nirei finishes his dramatic story of how he swears a bird was chasing him the other morning while walking to school.

“I guess that explains why you looked quite frazzled coming into the classroom,” Kiryu comments with a smile, leaning forward against the table to look around Tsugeura. “I was wondering what happened, but you wouldn’t tell us!”

“Well, that’s because it was embarrassing!” Nirei replies with his own laugh. There’s a slight lull in the conversation, but the silence is comfortable.

“Oh!” Tsugeura suddenly perks up, and he holds out his hands in front of him at the table, palms up. “I just found out there’s different types of fingerprints.”

“There are?” Kiryu replies, leaning into Tsugeura’s side to get a closer look at his hands. “What do you mean?”

“Different types?” Nirei parrots, leaning into Tsugeura’s other side to also get a closer look. His friends squishing against him makes Tsugeura laugh, and he flips his hands over to rest against the table as he speaks.

“Yeah! There’s like, three different types.” Using his right hand, he begins to trace some invisible shape on the table, making a repeated looping motion. “You have loops, which kinda look like…” he trails off, gesturing to the figurative drawing he’s making with his hand. “It’s kinda obvious when you see it, I have some I can show what mine look like in a second.”

“Wait, I thought everyone’s fingerprints looked like that,” Nirei comments, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he leans in closer to the table. “There’s more?”

“There’s more!” Tsugeura switches the motion of his hand, making a spiral instead. “You also have whirls. They look like a spiral, and aren’t as common as the loops I think.”

“What about the last type?” Suo politely asks, sitting tall with his hands clasped in attention. Sakura watches Tsugeura’s hand tracing shapes into the table, curious and slouched to get a better look.

“They’re called arches!” Tsugeura begins to draw a new repeated shape with his finger, drawing some sort of upside-down “V”, and excitedly adds, “They kinda look like the arches you’d see on those big bridges in America. I’ve heard they’re the rarest. It’s like, extremely rare to find someone who has all arches for fingerprint types.”

“Ooooo,” Kiryu says, and he holds out a hand, palm-up, towards Tsugeura. “What do I have?”

“Lemme see,” Tsugeura replies, and grabs his friend’s hand. He looks at his fingers for a few seconds, humming, before he leans closer with a surprised noise. “Oh, this is cool!”

“What?” Nirei, Sakura, and Kiryu all reply at once. Nirei rises in his seat to attempt to look over Tsugeura’s shoulder, and Sakura begins to lean in across the table. Suo doesn’t say anything, but there’s a curious quirk of his eyebrow.

“You’ve got loops on everything but your thumb,” Tsugeura tells Kiryu, letting go of his hand to give him two thumbs-ups. “You got a whirl on your thumb, though.”

“You can have more than one type?” Nirei asks excitedly, leaning over Tsugeura’s shoulder.

“You can! I think you can have all three, actually!”

“Oh, I think I can see what you mean,” Kiryu adds, looking at his own hands. “My thumbs look different than the rest of my hand.”

“What do you have, Tsugeura?” It’s Nirei that asks, sitting back down properly.

“Ah, I have all loops,” the friend replies, turning to Nirei. “Do you want me to check yours?”

“Sure!” Nirei sticks both of his hands out, and Tsugeura takes them, paying attention to the tips of his fingers.

He’s quiet for a few seconds, before letting go of Nirei’s hands and smiling. “You got all loops too!”

“Awww,” Nirei almost deflates into his seat. “I wanted something cooler.”

“Hey!” Tsugeura locks Nirei into a headlock. “It’s cool having all loops too!”

Over the sounds of Nirei trying to pry Tsugeura off him (“Ack! I’m sorry! We’re cool!”), Kiryu turns his attention to the two sitting across the table. “What about you two?”

“I can check my own,” Suo replies, smiling, and unclasps his hands. He turns his hands over and eyes them, before turning them back to lay his palms flat.

Sakura pretends he wasn’t trying to subtly lean over to get a look himself, and pointedly grabs his cup of water to drink from, cheeks flushing, when Suo silently looks over and meets his eyes with a knowing smile.

“Well?” Tsugeura asks excitedly.

“It seems I do not possess any fingerprints,” Suo replies, smiling happily, and his smile only grows when Tsugeura and Nirei start immediately calling out the obvious lie in earnest. Kiryu laughs lightly, taking a sip of his drink as he does so.

“Suo! You have to tell us what you have!” Tsugeura whines, pointing a finger at Suo accusingly. “It’s not a pretty aesthetic to hide things from your friends!”

“What about you, Sakura?” Suo ignores the plea, turning to the friend at his side instead. “What do you have?”

“Don’t ask me that,” Sakura replies, eyebrows furrowing. He points across the table at Tsugeura and Nirei. “You haven’t answered them yet.”

“Ah.” Suo ducks his head, eye narrowing, before he finally turns back to the three across from him. “Ever-persistent Sakura, making sure everything is fair.”

Holding up his right hand, Suo gestures with his left to his pinky, ring, and middle finger. “These are all loops,” he begins, and points to his thumb next. “This is a whirl, like Kiryu.” That gets a small chorus of “Ooo” from Nirei and Tsugeura, Kiryu smiling at the mention, before Suo finally points to his index finger, which he saved for last. “And this is an arch.”

“You have an arch?” Tsugeura excitedly asks, leaning dramatically across the table as if that would help him see the small prints adorning Suo’s out-of-reach hand. “That’s so sick!”

“Can’t believe you tried hiding that from us!” Nirei adds with a huff, crossing his arms. “That’s so cool.”

“It’s nothing important,” Suo reassures, putting his hands back down to rest on his lap. “I’m sure Sakura has more interesting fingerprints.”

“Don’t just deflect their compliments,” Sakura quietly hisses, but it goes ignored as his friends zero in on him, making him begin to squirm with their undivided attention. “Tch.”

“It’s your turn, Sakura,” Kiryu says.

“Yeah, show us what you got!” Nirei adds, suddenly much more fired up. Tsugeura nods enthusiastically.

Sakura huffs, face going slightly pink, before he starts to hold up his right palm closer to his face. He doesn’t get much of a chance to look, however, before his hand is suddenly snatched up, and it takes a disorientating second for him to realize that Suo is the one who grabbed it.

“Wh-” he attempts to begin, but is too surprised to finish a word.

And Suo cradles his hand so gently, yet so strong. His fingertips trace the lines etched into his palm with too much attention, too much care for Sakura to handle.

His arm jerks, trying to break away from the touch, but Suo’s hold on him is too solid; the effort is futile, and Suo only presses his shoulder closer into his own to hold him still.

Sakura can feel his entire face grow hot, and he’s sure his ears are pink as well. Suo brings his hand close to his face, fingertips tracing skin carefully, and his hand is so close to Suo’s lips he could easily lean down ever-so-slightly and place a kiss upon his palm.

The thought of that makes Sakura begin to tremble uncontrollably, trying to jerk his arm away again. It’s just as useless as the first attempt. Desperate, he tries to ball his hand into a fist, just to get Suo’s attention away from his hand, and his jaw clenches when the other’s response is to simply pry his hand back open with strong, slender fingers.

“Keep still,” Suo’s laughing, clearly enjoying himself despite Sakura practically trying to thrash away.

What a sadist. It makes Sakura want to kick him. Preferably in the face.

A part of him suddenly wonders if Suo can feel the pulse in his wrist, wonders if it’s beating as fast and as hard as the frantic pounding of his heart.

“Let go,” Sakura demands, squirming in his seat. He almost hisses aloud, like a startled cat, when Suo only presses even closer.

“I’m almost done,” Suo replies, a note to his voice that suggests otherwise. “It’d be faster if you weren’t moving so much.”

He’s too close. He’s way too close. Sakura doesn’t know how to handle this. They’re practically holding hands at this point .

“ Suo ,” he seethes, a mix of many emotions. Embarrassment, irritation, desperation, something else he can’t quite name. The name comes out of his mouth quietly, sliding past his lips easily and without much thought. A warning. A plea.

Sakura watches how Suo immediately goes still, eye snapping up to meet his own. He doesn’t say anything, growing still.

He…doesn’t know how to feel about the way Suo is looking at him right now. It reminds him of how the people he’s fought have looked at him when they’re seeking a skirmish, but not quite that. No, it reminds him of the look a carnivore gives its prey when it knows its got its next meal cornered. It’s making him feel infinitesimal, and at the same time the only person in the room. Sakura wants to squirm under the intense gaze, throw a punch or two to stop the shiver running up his spine; but he also wants to sit still, staring back, just to see what would happen .

And then, just like that, it’s over. The look dissipates as if it was never there, and Suo’s smiling at him, letting go of his hand. He’s still close enough that their shoulders are touching, but Sakura doesn’t notice it, too wrapped up in the look that’s cemented itself in his brain.

“You truly are one of a kind, aren’t you?” Suo says, and Sakura can only blink, dumbfounded, his fading blush having a resurgence across his face. Suo holds up his hand, wiggling his fingers slightly in a small gesture, and adds, “You have all arches.”

A fist slamming into the table across from him startles Sakura so bad he jumps, his head snapping over to find Tsugeura across from him, looking at him in awe and excitement.

Oh. Right. He’s got more friends here right now.

How did he just forget about that?

“Dude!” Tsugeura yells, arms darting out across the table towards Sakura’s hands. Without thinking, he jerks his arms away from Tsugeura’s hands, holding them up and away. Tsugeura blinks, stunned smile temporarily dropping into a confused look, until something clicks in his head and he sits back, smile and enthusiasm returning. “That’s the rarest someone can have!”

“Oh, wow,” Nirei says in awe, eyes shiny and bright, before he’s suddenly digging in his pockets for his notebook and pencil.

Kiryu’s sentiment is not that far off from Nirei’s. “That’s our Sakura for you.”

Face flushing even more red, Sakura brings his hands up to his face, looking intensely at his fingertips. Each print follows the same pattern, he notices, making a weird upside-down “V” shape that Tsugeura was drawing earlier. Arches.

Sakura huffs, unhappy. Of course he just had to have the rarest fingerprint type, on all of his fingers, no less. Make him even more of a—

“Hey,” a voice startles Sakura out of his thoughts, and he blinks, looking at Suo. He’s smiling, but it’s a soft and genuine one. One that disarms the rest of Sakura’s thoughts, and makes his tense shoulders relax slightly. 

“You’re incredible, Sakura!” Nirei cuts in, and Sakura’s head snaps over to him, face growing uneasy with the blush that overtakes his face again. “Everything about you is so cool and awesome-”

“Sh-shut up!” Sakura sputters back, tensing up like a bothered cat. “Don’t say things like that, it’s weird.”

A shoulder presses into his own, and a voice speaks quietly to him. “Who’s deflecting compliments now?”

Sakura whirls on Suo faster than he can think. “You stop that!”

And Suo is sitting close, smiling like the little shit that he is and trying to hide a laugh, his shoulder pressing against his own. And it’s something that keeps Sakura’s attention fully, not allowing the negative thoughts he’d been beginning to think earlier worm their way back into his mind. It’s sort of grounding, in a way.

It doesn’t explain why his heart picks up its tempo, though. Doesn’t explain why he wants to lean into the touch, despite normally wanting to pull away. It’s weird.

The day hasn’t been that eventful so far. No patrols yet, Umemiya’s orders, but as far as Sakura is aware he’s probably postponed them going out because he has something planned. Like another get-together or something.

The extra free time hasn’t been all too beneficial for him, though. To put it simply, there’s not that much to do at Furin that isn’t related to either patrolling, strategizing about the current skirmish they have with some other gang, or dicking around with each other. There are the occasional days where some of the boys decide they want to try and learn something that regular high-schoolers would learn, but that only happens once in a blue moon.

So, Sakura has chosen to spend his free time currently standing close to the front of the classroom, wishing Umemiya would just send them out already. He’s bored.

At least some of the guys like Kiryu have games on their phones to keep them entertained. Sakura does have a few, mainly games Kiryu downloaded onto his phone for him, but he doesn’t play them much.

Sakura closes his eyes, crossing his arms and sighing deeply. He wants to get out there, out into the sun, and patrol his town. There’s probably someone that needs help. Or something. As long as it’s not painting a wall again.

“Sakura,” a voice says to him, almost at his ear, and Sakura’s eyes snap open, flinching away at how close the voice is. He finds Suo standing right next to him, his face lighting up in mischief as he notices Sakura inching away to a respectful distance.

“Hm?” Sakura replies in acknowledgement. “What is it?”

Suo doesn’t say anything, only smiling. But he’s smiling in that certain way that Sakura knows means nothing but trouble.

He steps close again, closer than any random person would, closer than Sakura is used to anyone doing unless they’re picking a fight. He gets so close, Sakura can see just how deep the red in his eye is; it’s like ink in water, a dark garnet being shadowed by a vibrant yet gentle crimson, like fresh blood and flowers.

Sakura’s instincts are screaming at him to back up, square his fists and ready for a brawl. They scream at him to become tense, to prepare for the hateful words that have been carved into the marrow of his bones.

But he remains relaxed under the mischievous, gleeful red. He watches it grow closer, unblinking, all of his focus zeroed in, until he can feel a warm breath calmly hit his chin, his lips.

Sakura cannot help but glance down, eyes fluttering with a small blink. His mix-matched eyes fall upon pink lips stretched into a teasing smile, a tongue sticking out provokingly.

And oh, Suo is close . Their chests are almost touching.

Sakura can feel his face begin to flush with heat, his eyes growing wide. His gaze darts between Suo’s eye, his lips, the subtle pink on his cheeks, the playful quirk of his eyebrow…and then Sakura realizes he’s staring.

Finally, it seems his brain reconnects to his body, and Sakura steps back, shoulders tensing. “D-don’t you know what personal space is?!” he seethes, provoked.

Suo straightens up, putting on a calm face as if he wasn’t just sticking his tongue out like a child seconds ago. He tilts his head innocently, eye almost twinkling as he grins. “Hm?” Despite being called out for invading someone’s personal space, Suo doesn’t look ashamed in the slightest; instead, he looks like the cat that got the cream, like he’s gotten exactly what he’s wanted. “Was I doing anything wrong?”

“You wanna go?” Suo’s looking for a fight, isn’t he? What, does he need to tell Sakura something? Did Sakura do something brawl-worthy recently?

No, wait. Suo doesn’t want to fight him, he knows this.

Then why did he get so close? Stick his tongue out like that, and then act like he never did it?

And why is Sakura’s heart racing so fast in his chest, why is something weird fluttering in his stomach?

“No, I don’t,” Suo confirms, and then steps closer again. He doesn’t bring himself chest-to-chest with Sakura like before, but he leans in slightly, invading Sakura’s personal space again.

Confused, Sakura moves back, and his whole body tenses when Suo just steps forward again.

“W-What are you doing?” Sakura asks quietly, face still just as flushed.

Suo says nothing, and just looks at Sakura with a face he can’t describe. He’s smiling softly, eye squinting and gleaming with that certain look he gets when he’s looking to rile someone up, but beneath that there’s something else. It almost looks like he wants something.

“I’m going to punch you if you don’t step back,” Sakura warns. He knows Suo is more than capable of dodging him, but still, better to warn someone and have them step down than throw an unnecessary punch.

Sakura is met with more silence, Suo an unmoving figure in front of him, and something snaps in him, nervous and confused and why is his heart still pounding like he’s afraid, damn it !

“Suo-” Sakura begins to give a final warning, right fist clenching into a fist, and suddenly, Suo is nowhere near him. He’s meters away, his back turned and retreating to the door of the classroom, stepping out and shutting the sliding door softly behind him.

What was that?

Sakura’s head snaps around the room, scanning his peers’ faces, until his eyes meet Nirei’s, the friend sitting nearby. With a half frustrated, half confused noise, he gestures with his hands in the direction Suo went, stomping up to Nirei; his face still feels hot, and the jackrabbit pace of his heart is making him nervous. He wants to storm after Suo and shake him by the shoulders for an answer to his actions. “What was that ? Was he looking for a fight or something?”

Nirei’s face breaks out into an amused quirk of his lips, and he hides it behind a hand, the other clutching his notebook. “Don’t worry, Sakura,” he says lightly, and his hand drops to reveal a friendly, disarming smile. “He was just teasing you.”

Sakura looks at Nirei, eyebrows furrowed as he thinks, before he finally huffs and drops into the seat next to Nirei, sprawling his arms out until his cheek rests on the wood of the desk in front of him. It cools his flushed skin. “Why?”

“Don’t ask me,” Nirei replies, but leans in to say quietly regardless, cupping his hand to his mouth as if he was telling a secret, “I just think he just likes getting reactions out of you, though.”

Sakura’s arms fold, and he rests his face in them for a moment, feeling his face grow hot again. He wants to get up and kick something. Fight someone. Fight Suo . Because why on earth does Nirei’s words make Sakura feel so nervous, so embarrassed?

Why does it make him so giddy?

Sakura makes a tsk -ing sound, and turns his head back towards Nirei. “Why me, though?” He teases others—classmates, friends, even the people they fight to provoke and distract them—but Sakura, without a doubt, has been Suo’s primary target since the day they met.

“Well.” Nirei puts down his notebook with a nervous smile, and holds up his hands in surrender. Or maybe holds them up in a way to mean no harm, based on what he says next. “You are easy to rile up.”

“Huh!?” Sakura sits up straight, turning his entire body towards Nirei. One hand flies to the edge of his chair, the other to the top of the table as if he’s about to lunge forward. His face screws up in offense.

“See, you’re doing it right now!” Nirei points, gesturing to Sakura’s body language. “You’re getting all defensive, and I’ve barely said anything.”

And Sakura pauses. He looks down, taking in how he’s clutching his chair and table, how tall he’s sitting. He looks back up at Nirei, who looks back with an expectant face.

“Oh,” Sakura says dumbly, visibly deflating. He sinks back into his desk, hiding his face in his arms again.

There’s a sound of a chair being moved, and a palm gently pats his shoulder. “It’s alright,” Nirei says softly. “It’s one of the things we like about you.”

“Shut up,” Sakura seethes back, but it has no bite to it. He continues to sit there like that, letting Nirei continue patting his shoulder for a few moments before he finally peels away.

Sakura sighs, and hears a dull thunk of something being gently placed on his desk as he breathes back in—feeling the slight vibration of something hitting against the table—and stops breathing entirely when fingertips brush the crown of his hair. They’re slightly damp, but he still can’t help but stop moving at how gentle the touch is.

Just as fast as it came, the hand is gone, and Sakura grieves the contact for a second before remembering where he is; slowly, he picks up his head to find Suo standing in front of him, holding a drink in one of his hands. He’s smiling at him, and it’s soft and happy.

Glancing at the edge of his desk, he finds a bottle of water waiting for him to open.

Sakura sits up, reaching out for the drink. He glances over at Suo, finding him settling into the desk beside Nirei, and quickly looks away when their gazes meet.

The water bottle is slick with condensation, cold to the touch and making a crisp sound as he opens the cap: Suo must have gone to the rooftop and raided the cooler Umemiya keeps up there.

“What do we say?” Suo’s voice is suddenly next to Sakura’s ear, and he startles so hard he almost crushes the bottle in his fist. His head snaps to the left, meeting Suo’s eye with a flustered and surprised look. How did he get there so quickly? When did he get so close?

“Wh-what?”

“What do we say when our friends go out and get a drink for us?” Suo’s head tilts, and he gives Sakura a smile that makes him want to slap Suo…or something, he’s not quite sure actually.

Sakura turns away, bringing the water bottle up to his lips, but not taking a sip yet. “...Thanks,” he mutters, cheeks hot.

“It was no problem,” Suo replies—with a genuine smile, Sakura knows; he spared a lengthy glance, after all—and then he’s gone, retreating back to his seat.

Provoking him for no reason and then bringing him water…what a weirdo. He’s friends with nothing but weirdos.

It had taken three weeks of almost nonstop pleading for Sakura to agree to let Nirei bring over his old portable DVD player to his place and watch a movie together; it had only taken roughly 10 seconds, however, for Suo to decide he’s joining them, and left absolutely zero room for arguments by stating he was going to be the one bringing the movie. An old classic, he said.

In all honesty, Sakura expected him to bring a horror movie, just to see Nirei (and possibly Sakura) jump. He did not expect, however, that Suo would bring a three-and-a-half hour, black and white movie from 1954.

“What?” Suo had said after showing off the DVD case, seeing the astonished look Nirei had and the (admittedly) unimpressed look on Sakura’s face. “I did say I was bringing an old classic.”

“It looks ancient ,” Sakura had replied, his nose scrunching up. “What, is that in black and white or something?”

“Why yes, actually, it is.” And there’s that shit-eating grin. “It shouldn’t be a problem, right?”

“I’ve heard it’s a good movie, actually,” Nirei had cut in, holding up his DVD player. “Let’s put it in.”

And Sakura doesn’t want to admit it, but the movie is pretty good. It’s entertaining, and has his attention in a chokehold. He’s gone through a bag of popcorn and a small bag of pretzels, as well as two juice boxes without realizing, and the movie is only halfway through.

They’re all sat on his futon, pushed back so their backs can rest against the wall of Sakura’s slowly filling room (his most recent addition to the room had been a worn, faded rug for the small, foldable table he’d been given by Kiryu a few weeks prior; the week before, he was given an old toaster by an older woman who he had helped out…for some reason). Suo, as the tallest, sits between Nirei and Sakura, the DVD player sat on top of the foldable table that’s perched over his lap. Nirei and Sakura have to lean into Suo’s shoulders  slightly—Nirei leaning into his right shoulder, Sakura into his left—in order to see the screen of the player properly, but Suo doesn’t seem to mind (even though it had taken Sakura a few minutes to fully relax into Suo’s shoulder, just unused to both initiating and holding such a casual touch).

If he would stop to take notice, he’d probably find that Suo has looked pretty pleased about it for the past hour and a half now.

Sakura blindly fumbles for the small package of juice boxes placed off to the side for the three to share, and grabs his second—third? He’s not sure at this point—juice, failing twice to stab the straw into the correct place before it finally goes in.

It’s not until after he’s had a distracted sip that Sakura finds his juice box suddenly gone from his hand, and it takes more than a few seconds for him to notice. And when he does, he looks down at his hand blankly, blinking, before looking over. He finds Suo looking back, clutching a juice box in his hand.

“Did you-” Sakura begins to whisper in confusion, more mouthing the words than actually speaking, but cuts himself off with an offended glare when he notices the mischievous, teasing smile Suo has on his face. Yep, he totally just stole his drink.

“Hey!” Sakura whisper-shouts. “Give that back.”

Suo, in return, only holds the juice box up above his head slightly, smile growing.

“Wh…” Sakura stretches his arm up towards his stolen belonging, making a soft noise in agitation as his fingertips brush against the juice box, but only gets held slightly higher. “Give me my drink, you ass.”

He glances down, and suddenly notices how close he’s gotten to Suo. In his attempt to retrieve his beverage, he completely missed that fact he began invading Suo’s space unapologetically; now, they’re basically pressed chest-to-chest, faces way too close for Sakura’s liking. It’s not good for his poor heart, which has started to beat faster in his chest.

His face begins to flush slightly, but Sakura is determined to beat this thief, damn it, so he’s not backing down from this battle.

“Give it back,” Sakura whispers, and it comes out like a hiss. Suo, in response, looks at him…weirdly.

He cannot honestly describe the look on Suo’s face. It looks like a mix of a bunch of things, really: satisfaction, glee, surprise, and maybe, weirdly enough, hunger .

There’s a part of Sakura that has his fight-or-flight activating upon registering the look he’s receiving. Not because he’s scared, though. But it’s in a way that’s making his heart pound even harder in his ribcage, making it feel like it wants to leap from his chest.

And there’s another part of Sakura that wants Suo to keep looking at him like this. It’s weird, and it’s making Sakura feel weird. There’s some strange fluttering feeling in the pit of his stomach. He’s beginning to feel giddy, a need to start squirming away from Suo’s devouring gaze. Maybe, if Suo stares long enough, he can figure out why he’s feeling like this.

“Hmm,” Suo eventually replies in a whisper of his own, and it zeros Sakura’s attention back to him. “Why should I?”

“What are you two doing?” Nirei suddenly asks, also whispering for some reason. “You’re distracting me from the movie.”

“Ah, sorry Nirei,” Suo apologizes, still whispering. “Don’t mind us.”

“Tell him to give me my drink back!” Sakura, following the trend, keeps his voice down, but loud enough for Nirei to easily hear him. “He stole my juice box.”

“Because this is his third one,” Suo retorts easily. “That’s too much sugar.”

“I don’t care!” And it’s utterly bullshit, Sakura can tell by the grin on Suo’s face. It just screams that he’s lying.

Nirei snorts, and doesn’t say anything, but he does lean forward to carefully pick the DVD player up, transferring it to his own lap.

“I’m not getting involved with this,” is his eventual, amused mumble, the movie still playing.

“I’m going to fight you if you don’t give me my drink back,” Sakura hisses to Suo, and the other only grins.

“But I don’t want to fight you,” is the smug reply. “Would you really fight someone who wouldn’t fight back?”

Sakura takes another attempted swipe at his poor, kidnapped juice box, and misses again, just barely out of reach.

Frustrated, he growls. “You dick, you just like to see me struggle.”

“Do I?”

“ Suo .”

Finally, Suo’s hand begins to lower, but before Sakura can grab his drink, Suo is suddenly leaning his entire body away, quickly bringing the straw to his mouth and taking the most stupid, smug, and aggravating sip of juice Sakura has ever seen someone take. Out of pure annoyance (there’s totally not any fondness at Suo’s tricks, totally ) Sakura makes an incoherent noise in the back of his throat, but before he can open his mouth and yell, the dumb cardboard box full of sweet liquid is being pushed back into Sakura’s hand.

And so angrily, Sakura glares Suo down, and takes a scathing sip of his juice.

It takes several long seconds of unbreaking eye contact for Sakura to finally register what Suo had been doing before giving the juice box back, and the realization hits him like a kick to the back of his head: he literally just looked Suo in the eye and had an indirect kiss with him.

Sakura’s face skips turning pink and goes straight to red, accidentally inhaling the juice currently in his mouth. He begins to cough erratically, embarrassed and flustered and panicked, hunched over while someone slaps at his back.

“Are you okay?” Nirei asks, sounding worried. There isn’t any audio coming from the player, meaning he probably paused it.

“Give him a minute,” Suo politely replies, patting Sakura’s back again. “He just accidentally inhaled some of his juice.”

Sakura, mid-hack, sits back up temporarily to glare daggers at Suo, his face feeling so hot he bets his ears have turned red too. “You—” it’s a struggle to get the words out between involuntary coughs, but he manages. “—are an ass .”

Despite choking, despite being teased in his own room, Sakura would inhale more juice if it meant he could see the absolutely gleeful smile on Suo’s face like he has on right now. It makes the corner of his eye crinkle, and just for a second Sakura feels like he would do anything to keep that expression on Suo’s face; that is, however, until Sakura suddenly remembers this is the same dick who made him start choking in the first place, and he remembers he’s supposed to be mad at him.

Sakura pointedly decides not to unpack anything that night, after chasing his friends out of his place so that he can finally sleep. Surely, he’d have the same reaction if he accidentally drank after any other of his friends, right?

(He wouldn’t. He might choke on his drink in shock, but his face wouldn’t go red like it did. His body wouldn’t go hot like it did. His stomach wouldn’t get butterflies like it did. But he’ll pretend for now that he would.)

His bloody nose looks worse than it feels, he swears it. Maybe it’s just the adrenaline, or maybe it’s the feeling of a fight won surging through his veins, but his nose doesn’t hurt that much. It doesn’t hurt at all.

Until Suo started touching it. He’d already swatted both Nirei and Anzai away, looking absolutely ridiculous with how worried they both looked, but he just couldn’t muster up the same strength when Suo looked at him calmly, with that polite smile, handing a bunch of white stuff in his hand. All he had said to Sakura was “Stand still,” and there he was, holding Sakura by the jaw in one hand while the other carefully dabs under his nose, trying to wipe away as much blood as possible.

Sakura can’t hide the wince that comes with Suo’s hand bumping into his nose, but instead of being met with a pitying, worried look, Suo only calmly shushes Sakura.

Which is weird, because he never even said anything, but it’s also weird that the gentle sound somehow has his shoulders relaxing, and he doesn’t even remember when they tensed up to begin with.

“I could do this myself, y’know,” Sakura grunts out, rolling his eyes as Suo immediately takes extra care not to bump his nose against while he speaks. “It’s just a nosebleed.”

“What happened to letting yourself rely on others?” Suo prods back, gently pressing the cotton balls he somehow has against the bottom of his nose.

“It’s just a nosebleed, these happen all the time.”

“Because you are reckless.” The jab makes Sakura roll his eyes again, and he crosses his arms. “I had that guy, and yet you rushed in anyways.”

“I know, I should have just trusted you with it,” Sakura grits his teeth for a moment before he speaks again, softer this time, “but I acted before I could think. I just…didn’t want to let the guy even have a chance to hit you. Y’know?”

“I’m not weak, Sakura.” The cotton is removed from Sakura’s nose, and continues to dab at his skin, brushing against his chin, his lips. “I’ve fought more formidable opponents, we both have.”

“I know .” Sakura groans in frustration, and he would have huffed and kicked at the pavement beneath his shoes if Suo didn’t currently have his jaw still cradled so tenderly in his hand. “I just—It’s—forget it. Whatever. Doesn’t matter.”

Suo smiles, and it’s one of understanding. Perhaps understanding more than Sakura thinks, maybe not, but he’s pieced together something Sakura hasn’t said allowed.

“Just try not to let this happen again,” Suo says. “I don’t think any of us like seeing you get hurt needlessly protecting one of us.”

Sakura huffs this time, and Suo finally steps away, hands dropping from his jaw and face. “No promises,” he grumbles, idly watching as the wadded-up, bloodstained bunch of cotton balls are put somewhere on Suo’s person, suddenly disappearing entirely like a magician’s act. He begins to turn away, but Sakura speaks up again on an impulse, acting before he can think. “Suo.”

“Hm?” Suo’s attention is immediately back to him, so quick and sudden it makes Sakura’s head almost spin with whiplash. His gaze is so piercing, but it’s in a way that makes Sakura want to be stared at more.

Sakura opens his mouth, closes it, and opens it again, looking away. He briefly runs his fingertips under his nose, feeling his skin come back dry. “T-thanks.”

And there’s that genuine smile again, so fond and sweet, that smile that Sakura wants Suo to keep making at him. “It’s no problem at all,” is his soft reply, “I just wanted to do it.”

(It takes many seconds for Sakura to finally register the whispers coming from behind him, and he looks over to see Nirei and Anzai hunched over together, whispering furiously to each other. Getting a sense their hushed conversation is somehow involving him, Sakura storms over, yelling.

And as he attempts to grill Anzai, and quite frankly fails, at getting information from him, he misses the knowing look Nirei gives Suo, and the complex look Suo returns.)

The cold isn’t Sakura’s favorite type of weather. He prefers the warmer months, where the sun on his back and the sweat rolling down his face makes him feel free.

He doesn’t like the winter months, where he’s forced to bundle up to avoid the biting cold, or worse, develop hypothermia. He doesn’t like the chilly air creeping into his room through a poorly-installed window, unable to escape from it despite having two blankets for his futon. He hates how all it takes is the temperature to drop for him to fall sick, so sick he can’t care for himself properly.

In the past, the days Sakura would spend sick in winter were the worst days of his life. He’d be in so much pain, delirious with fever, and more than half the time he’d be too unwell to get himself food, get himself medicine. It’d be the days he’d hate the world, hate himself , the most.

But now…now he’s no longer alone.

“Sakura?” calls Nirei’s voice, far off in both distance and presence. He isn’t sure how long it’s been since he sent a half-conscious text, not sure exactly what he even typed or if it was spelled right, but now someone he trusts is here and he knows he’s going to be okay.

It’s been a long time since he’s felt something like that, especially while this ill.

Sakura makes a noise, or he tries to, he’s not sure if he actually got the sound past his throat or not. But regardless, he can hear the sound of footsteps growing closer to his room.

“Sakura?” Nirei asks again, a lot closer this time. “W-we’re coming in.”

We ?

Sakura’s half-lucid attention is piqued, but his question is quickly answered upon hearing two pairs of footsteps walk into his room, plastic bags being set down somewhere out of the way as a voice quietly speaks to him. “Thank you for letting us help you this time.”

It’s Suo’s voice, and of course Suo went with Nirei. It wouldn’t have been any other person.

Sakura’s glad they’re both here. He’s glad Suo is speaking to him.

He tries to say something, but it gets trapped behind a locked jaw and a barely-hidden whimper as his body throws another horrible ache at him.

Immediately, a cold hand is pressed against his forehead, and if he had the strength for it Sakura would have jerked away. Too cold.

“This isn’t good,” he hears Suo say, voice suddenly faraway. “Nirei, can you hand me the thermometer from the white bag?”

There’s a sluggish moment, where Sakura’s head starts to spin and he’s not sure if he’s still laying down or not, but when it passes he can hear his friends talking to each other.

“Do you know how dangerous a temperature that high is?” is Nirei’s frantic, worried voice, the volume making Sakura wince involuntarily, hating how that motion makes his entire body hurt. He’s shivering under his blankets. “Are you sure we can help him?”

“Sakura called upon us to help him at his most vulnerable,” Suo’s reply is smooth and calm and solid, like the ocean on a clear day. It’s not nearly as loud as Nirei’s voice, and a part of Sakura’s feverish mind just wants to rest his head in Suo’s lap just so he can listen to him speak. “He trusts us to help him, so we will.”

“But what can we do? I don’t know how to actually take care of someone this sick; I thought we were just here to drop stuff off again.”

There’s a pause, and the sound of a plastic bag rustling. “I know how, don’t worry, Nirei.” Another pause. “But I’ll need your help, so you’re just as needed as me.”

“Okay.” Nirei doesn’t sound as frantic, and his voice has gotten less shrill, filled with determination instead. “Just tell me what to do, and I’ll do it.”

Suo begins to speak quietly, almost overpowered by the sound of items being pulled from plastic bags, and the words are unintelligible to Sakura as his brain begins to go fuzzy with the need to rest, to sleep.

With another helpless shiver, he falls into a dreamless slumber.

“Hey, look who’s finally awake.”

Sakura, half-delirious, opens his eyes with a hiss, finding his dim room still too bright. Raising his hand weakly, he throws it over his eyes, and shrinks into the blanket that’s pulled up to his chin.

(He doesn’t remember having the blanket this far up.)

“Wha’im issit?” he slurs out, face so congested and sore he can barely speak. There’s a small hum from the person above him, before he gets an answer.

“It’s a little after three in the afternoon.” Ah, it’s Suo beside him. “Good afternoon, Sakura.”

“Guh’afnnun…” Slowly, Sakura slips his hand away from his face, and cracks his eyes back open. It’s manageable on his second try, and he’s able to squint at Suo’s smiling face.

“How are you feeling?” he asks.

“ Bad .” His body aches horribly, there’s a terrible pounding in his head from all of the gunk in his sinuses, and he’s still somehow cold despite also feeling like he’s burning up, shivering uncontrollably. His mouth is dry, and he’s both hungry and nauseous.

But…it’s not as bad as before Suo and Nirei arrived. It’s not as bad as he remembers it, taking it all alone.

“Do you need anything?” The question is asked with patience and kindness, two things Sakura is still trying to get used to. There’s that impulse to shake his head, say no and try to go back to sleep, but Sakura hazily fights it off with a small groan.

“Water?” he mumbles instead, more of a question than anything else.

And through blurred vision, Sakura sees Suo’s polite and waiting smile morph. It grows, the corners of his mouth tugging up, and he looks relieved. He looks so happy, so soft and proud.

Sakura wants to think something, wants to say something, but his mind feels empty, stuffed full of cotton and gauze.

Suo stands, and Sakura immediately begins to miss that smile. He’s placated, however, by Suo’s words. “I’ll be back soon with some water.”

Covering his face again, Sakura listens to the sound of Suo’s footsteps as he leaves the room. His footsteps are light, graceful, but purposeful.

Suddenly, Sakura wonders if, in another life, Suo would be a dancer. Or maybe an ice-skater. He’s already so graceful, so fluid in his motions, it’d only make sense.

And he’s already pretty enough to be once. Yeah. God, why is Suo so pretty? He’s the prettiest person Sakura knows.

It makes him want to…it makes him want to kiss Suo.

Wait, kiss ?

He bets Suo’s lips are soft, actually. He looks like he takes good care of his skin, so yeah, they’d probably be soft. Like flower petals, or something.

“Uh. Sakura?” Nirei’s voice suddenly cuts Sakura’s hazy train of thought off, and he makes a noise in acknowledgement, confused at how nervous his friend sounds.

“Mm?”

“You were, uh, saying your thoughts out loud, I think.”

Ah.

Uh oh. Now hold on, now.

How much did Sakura manage to say? Scratch that, how much of it did someone hear ?

“Nuh-uh,” Sakura tries to save face, too delirious from his fever to truly be flustered or mortified by the fact Nirei just caught him apparently saying some pretty embarrassing things about their friend. “Didn’tsay...noth’.”

“Sure,” Nirei replies, and a hand falls upon his arm, gently prying it away from his eyes. “Let’s go with that, chalk it all up to the fever and all.”

There’s a groan of protest, but Sakura lets Nirei move his arm, tucking it back under his blanket as his friend leans forward, placing something cold and wet on his forehead. He can’t tell if it feels nice, or feels wrong.

“If you remember this after your fever breaks, I’m here to talk,” Nirei adds, leaning back, “about whatever that was. No judgment, of course.”

“Nuth totalk’bout,” Sakura slurs, and he sinks back into his blankets, eyes closing. “Away.”

“Alright, alright, I’m going.” Nirei stands with a small noise, and he sounds halfway across the room as he quietly adds, “I’m just glad you look like you’re starting to get a little better.”

“Mm.” And then Nirei’s gone from the space, footsteps fading. Breathing in with a slight wheeze, Sakura sighs heavily, sitting in silence.

And he’s quick to grow uncomfortable with it. He’s gotten used to hearing Nirei and Suo quietly talking or making some sort of noise as he’s been drifting in and out, so the silence comes across as unusual.

It reminds him of all the times he’s been sick and alone. He doesn’t like it.

There’s a sudden sound of fabric shifting as someone gently kneels close to Sakura, and his eyes flutter open as a voice speaks. “I’m back.”

“Suo,” Sakura breathes out, happy and relieved.

(He’s too out of it to notice the expression on Suo’s face shift, too feverish to process the yearning look in the other’s eyes.)

“I have water for you.” It comes out way too soft than Suo’s normal tone of voice, but Sakura is too distracted by how nice it sounds to think about it too hard. “Here, I’ll help you.”

There’s a hand between his shoulders before Sakura can properly process it, helping him sit up. Sakura’s arm trembles as he uses it to prop his upper half up, and Suo keeps his hand on his back in support.

Slowly, Suo brings his other hand, holding a glass of water, up to Sakura’s face. Acting on some sort of dazed autopilot, Sakura’s other arm reaches out, ever-so-slightly holding the bottom of the glass, and he leans forward slightly, taking a sip of water.

It’s soothing.

He swallows and takes another slow sip. Attentively, Suo matches the pace of Sakura drinking, only tilting the glass when Sakura needs it. The cup is halfway drained before he pulls away, having his fill, and it’s Suo’s hand on his back that guides Sakura to lay back down.

Silently, Suo adjusts the cold rag on his forehead as Sakura grabs at his blankets, pulling them back up to under his chin.

“Get some more rest, Sakura,” is what Suo eventually says, his hand leaving Sakura’s forehead. “Nirei and I will be right here.”

And Sakura relaxes completely, soothed by both the water and Suo’s voice. He knows he means it. Both of them have always been there for him, it’s only natural they’ll be here for him now.

He begins to drift off to the sound of Suo’s slow breathing, but before sleep can take him again, Sakura deliriously reaches his hand out, blindly grabbing. It takes a few attempts, refusing to look, but eventually Sakura finds what he’s looking for: Suo’s hand.

He squeezes at his fingers the best he can, and it takes a moment, but he feels Suo’s hand lightly squeeze back in return.

“Hanks,” he whispers, “fur’ot leaving e’alone.” 

He’s asleep before he can hear a reply.

(Two days later, when Sakura is well enough to return to school, Nirei asks him what all he can remember of the first day he was sick. Sakura stutters out that he doesn’t remember, but it’s not good enough to convince either of them. Still, Sakura refuses to even think about that one moment in those clumped and fuzzy bundles of memories.

He does, however, get his window fixed by Umemiya and Hiragi. Should have just asked for that before he got sick, Umemiya told him.)

Sakura thinks that honestly, if Umemiya calls a meaning for another stupid reason, he’s going to throw something off the roof. Preferably, something related to his garden.

Because why the fuck would Umemiya call all of the kings and grade captains to the roof…to pick produce.

Well, a part of him can understand. He hasn’t easily forgotten the take they had once, about why Umemiya turned Furin into what it is today, why he loves eating with everyone so much. It’s a form of bonding, getting to pick fresh, home-grown vegetables together with people who share common goals.

Doesn’t mean Sakura has to love the whole thing, though.

“Put those down! Gently !” Nirei all but shrieks, and Sakura’s head whips around on instinct, almost having peppers tumble out of the wicker basket in his hands as his body turns. From behind him, Nirei stands with his own basket clutched by the handle with vice grips, looking horrified as Suo stands beside him with an absolute rascality painted on his face, juggling three plump and ripe tomatoes in his hands with ease. “If you drop those-”

“Do you not have any faith in me, Nirei?” Suo continued to juggle, not taking his eye off the fruit.

“You are juggling Umemiya’s prized tomatoes,” Nirei stresses, looking like he’s being pushed into an early grave by his friend. “If you drop any of those…I don’t even want to imagine his wrath. We’ll probably be cleaning toilets for a month, or something worse than that!”

“No he won’t.” Suo has that smile on his face again like he’s got something nefarious in mind, a look Sakura is very familiar with, and he watches as Suo jerks his shoulder to the side, acting like he’s about to let the tomatoes drop onto the concrete. “Whoops!”

“SUO-” Nirei looks like he’s about to have a heart attack, startling and lunging forward to catch the falling fruit, but Suo’s calculating hands catch them without effort, palmed gently between two hands.

A noise escapes Sakura, and he has no free hand to cover his mouth as it morphs into a laugh. He can’t help himself, Nirei looks so funny and of course Suo wouldn’t let them fall, he got worried over nothing.

He suddenly can’t stop laughing, and has to crouch down to steady himself, placing his basket down so he can wipe the beginning of tears from his eyes. He doesn’t know why he’s so particularly tickled right now, but it feels good to laugh up on the rooftop, where the sun makes him feel warm and alive and the breeze combs through his hair.

He misses Nirei and Suo looking over at him, misses how Nirei lights up and Suo looks awed for a moment before settling into a smile that might be way too fond for him to normally make. By the time Sakura gets himself back under control, though, and is able to stand back up with the pepper he’s picked, both of his friends are in front of him, the former looking happy and the latter looking all too pleased with himself.

The remaining, lopsided smile on Sakura’s face is replaced by a confused quirk of his mouth, face scrunching. “What?”

“Nothing,” Suo’s the first to reply. “You just have a strange laugh.”

“Hey!” Sakura barks back, hand shooting out to point, immediately offended. “Wh-what’s that supposed to mean?!”

“It means you have a weird laugh,” Suo prods, his head tilting. His eye gleams in the sun, like a gemstone. “You should do it again, just so I can study how peculiar it is.”

The hair on the back of Sakura’s neck stands up, and he can feel his face flush. Shoulders tensing and hiking up to his ears, hand dropping, he’s left speechless for more than a few moments, his grip on his basket tightening. Any harder, and the wicker basket may snap.

“You…” squeaks out of his mouth, and he’s trembling from how flustered he is. “Just. Tell me you like my laugh next time if you want to say something, you idiot.” His blush grows deeper. “You’re embarrassing me.”

“But I meant every word I just said.” Suo says it so innocently, so plainly, but Sakura can see by the look in his eye, by the smile on his face, that he’s trying to get under Sakura’s skin. He’s trying to rile him up.

And it’s working, flawlessly. Sakura wants to start swinging at Suo to shut him up, wants to tackle him to the ground and skirmish with him until they’re both out of breath and there’s a clear winner. He wants to grip him close, open his skull wide so he can pick through his brain and figure out how Suo can get a rise out of him so easily, why he does it so often. There’s a stupid part of Sakura that wants to kiss his dumb, smug face, just to see if that’ll knock him off his guard, get him to break character; it’s a part of his mind he keeps off-limits, because why should he be thinking that towards a friend?

He locks eyes with Suo, and he stares deep into his eye. There’s some sort of tension he feels as they stand there silently, Sakura poised and tense like a snake about to strike, as Suo stands tall and relaxed. It’s almost as if they’re waiting for the other to do something, say something. What to do or say, Sakura doesn’t know. Because he doesn’t know what Suo’s thinking right now, he hardly ever does.

(But that might be a good thing. He might implode if he knew what Suo was thinking, right now. How would he truly handle it, if he knew Suo’s current thoughts were him wishing he could hold Sakura down against the concrete of the rooftop, teasing him just to see what can make him tick, what makes him bite back, just how much he can blush and take before it’s too much for him to bare? What would he think if he knew Suo’s thinking of how it’d feel to press his ear against his chest as he breathlessly laughs like he just had been doing, listening to the timber of his voice and to his heart?)

“Hm?” It's Suo that breaks the silence, taking a step closer. “Cat got your tongue?” He’s still holding the tomatoes in his hands.

Sakura wants to slap them out of his hands and fight Suo. Maybe that’ll tell him what’s really on his mind.

Suo takes another step closer, and Sakura snaps the moment his personal space is invaded. “Suo.” It’s a warning: one more step, and he’s swinging his basket at him.

But Suo doesn’t take another step, after his name is said. Instead, he just stands there, nice and still, as his smile becomes way too pleased with himself, and he gets that look in his eye again.

That look . It’s that look again. The one that makes him feel like he’s the only person that exists in the other’s mind. The one that makes him feel like he’s about to be attentively eaten whole. The one that makes him so incredibly caught off-guard, a mix between wishing for more or it and wanting to hide away from it.

Why are you looking at me like that? is what he wants to ask, but before he can get his mouth to open, a voice from across the rooftop is hollering, startling Sakura from both his thoughts and Suo. “Alright, boys, I think we’re done here!” Umemiya’s voice is loud and booming, and Sakura’s head is turned to look at him as he yells. “Let’s get these baskets put up, and we can finally start the patrols for today!”

Blinking, Sakura turns his head back, and is surprised to not see either of his friends in front of him. Confused, he looks around, but the only person near him is Tsubaki. Actually, Tsubaki is walking towards him.

“Hey, Sakura!” his senior greets, and takes the basket of peppers out of his hands before he can say anything back. There’s a hand on his shoulder, and Tsubaki is leading him to a corner of a rooftop, quiet and secluded. “May I talk to you for a moment? Won’t take too much of your time.”

“But, I-” Sakura tries to shoot back. He’s got a patrol to lead! He can’t stick behind for a chat right now. He’s interrupted, though, by Tsubaki.

“Ume’s already letting your friends know you’ll be joining them later, they can handle it.” Sakura is led to a spot, and oh , it’s the same spot Umemiya sat him down to talk about his past.

Puzzled but compliant, Sakura sits down, and Tsubaki follows suit, placing the basket of peppers off to the side. She takes a deep breath, smiling kindly, and folds his painted hands in his lap, sitting politely with his skirt. “Great harvest this year, huh?”

Sakura does not take the bait for small-talk. “Just spit out whatever the hell you want to say already, you look like you’re about to explode.”

And, well, Sakura isn’t wrong . The way Tsubaki is sitting just screams that she’s itching to say something.

“Ah.” Tsubaki raises a hand to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. “Just want to cut to the chase, huh.” There’s a pause, and calmly, Tsubaki drops the bombshell, “Quick question: do you have a crush on Suo?”

“WHAT-”

“Now, see, this is why I wanted to ease into it!”

“What do you mean, a crush?!”

“Shhh!” Tsubaki presses a finger to her lips, shushing Sakura, who now looks like the one ready to explode. He’s shaking like a leaf, and if he was holding a cup of tea like he was when learning Tsubaki had a crush, he would definitely be spilling something on himself. “Do you want the entire school to hear you?”

“N..n-no.”

“Then let’s not scream, okay?” Sakura, with a trembling jaw, nods, his fists clenched in his lap. Tsubaki, with a smile, reaches over and pats his head. “Good. Now let me repeat the question: do you have a crush on Suo?”

Sakura gives Tsubaki a look, like he would rather go and swallow wet cement than be here right now. His face is redder than the tomatoes Suo was juggling earlier, and the mere thought of his friend right now is sending Sakura’s heart into overdrive.

Does he…what kind of question is that ?! Absolutely ridiculous!

“N-no. I d-don’t. N-no crush…” Sakura looks away.

From the side, he can hear Tsubaki take a deep breath, and sigh heavily. “Honey, Sakura,” she begins, and the next words come out a little too knowing, “I know what denial looks and sounds like.”

“I’m not in denial about anything!” Sakura immediately bites back, and makes the mistake of looking Tsubaki in the eyes again.

His eyes are way too honest. They’re staring into his soul, seeing something he’s not (or more accurately, ignoring). “How do you feel about him, then?”

“H-he’s just—” something in Sakura clams up under Tsubaki’s gaze, and the words come out harder than they should. “—a…friend.”

“A special friend, right?” Tsubaki quietly replies, and continues, looking out at the town. “One you want to know everything about?”

“Yeah, but what does that have to do-”

“Is Suo someone you always want to be close to? One who puts you at ease, when nobody else can? One that makes you feel things you haven’t felt before? Someone who would be the first person you look for in a crowded room, someone you would chase after and do anything for?

“Does Suo have exceptions to your rules? Do you think of him differently than your other friends? Do you want to kiss him? Stay by his side?”

Sakura is quiet as he listens, pieces falling into place a lot easier than they probably should. His jaw is locked in place, teeth grit, and terror is gripping the bottom of his stomach suddenly.

No…he doesn’t. He’s just a friend, right? He can’t crush on his friends.

“Oh, Sakura,” Tsubaki finally says when he looks over, seeing the expression on Sakura’s face. He’s terrified. “You didn’t realize, did you?”

“I…” he doesn’t know what to say.

“I’m sorry for springing this on you,” Tsubaki says for him instead. “I just got too excited, thinking there was someone like me here.”

“Like you?”

“Someone who has a crush on their best friend.”

“It’s-it’s not,” he attempts, but he can’t bring himself to lie anymore. Not when Tsubaki has just knocked the off-limits part of his brain wide open. Dropping his head into his hands, he groans. “What do I do ?”

Arms wrap around his shoulders, and Sakura is brought into a hug by his upperclassman, smooshing her cheek against his head. “It’ll be alright.”

“But, I thought friends weren’t supposed to get crushes on each other?”

“Oh, honey, stuff like this happens all of the time.”

“Oh.”

So, it’s okay for him to have feelings for his friend? It’s okay to feel this way about Suo?

“Is it really okay?” Sakura asks quietly, and he’s squeezed, making a noise. He tries to squirm out of Tsubaki’s grip, but can’t.

“Of course it’s okay!” He’s being wiggled now, like a child. It’s kind of (actually, more than just kind of) stupid, but it’s stupid enough to calm the terror in Sakura’s gut. “Nothing wrong with a crush.”

“Let go of me!” Sakura finally breaks free from the grip on him, and he leans away from Tsubaki in case he tries to hug him again without warning. Looking over, Tsubaki is smiling at him, a bright grin on her face.

“You okay now?”

Sakura nods, then his face scrunches, looking out to the town. “What do I do now?”

“I don’t know.”

His head snaps back, quick as a whip. “Huh?!”

“It’s your crush! It’s up to you to decide what to do with it.”

“But I don’t know what to do! That’s the problem!”

“Well, do you know what you want?”

There’s a pause, before Sakura shakes his head. It gets a soft laugh from Tsubaki.

“Would you like to say anything about this to Suo?” The reaction is immediate: Sakura’s face sours like he just bit into an entire lemon.

“Why would I want to do that?” he asks in distaste.

“Because maybe Suo likes you back, and then the two of you can get together!”

That is…an overwhelming sentence to hear. At seeing the appalled expression on his face, Tsubaki quickly backtracks, face growing slightly worried. “Oh, wait, do you not want anything to happen?”

“I-I don’t know. I’d have to think about it.” It’s an honest answer he doesn’t expect from himself, but it comes out anyways.

“Oh.” There’s a pause, and Tsubaki’s smiling again. “How about you figure that out first, and then the rest of knowing what to do will probably fall in place behind you. You agree?”

It takes a moment, but Sakura eventually nods, huffing. “Sure.”

“You can think about it as long as you need to. There’s no rush right now.”

“Good.”

“Sakura, stop stressing about it immediately. This isn’t the end of the world.”

“Yes it is!” he fires back, teeth gritting. “ You try having a crush on your best friend!”

The two of them blink at each other before Sakura’s own words register in his mind, and he looks away, face growing red again. Tsubaki bursts out laughing, patting Sakura on the back, and he buries his face in his hands.

“Want to try that again?” she asks.

With a tired sigh, Sakura grits out, “This is not the end of the world. I will not stress over this.”

“There we go!” There’s the sound of a shoe scraping against concrete, and when Sakura looks back up, Tsubaki is standing above him, hand outstretched to him. “Are you ready to go?”

There’s a moment of hesitation, but Sakura eventually reaches out and takes Tsubaki’s hand. Effortlessly, he’s yanked to his feet, and waves him goodbye as he stalks off the entrance of the roof, leaving his senior behind with the basket of peppers.

(He’s interrogated later by Nirei once he finds him and Suo patrolling, but becomes tight-lipped and red, not uttering a single word about what they talked about. The prying stops shortly afterwards, but for the rest of the day, Sakura cannot bring himself to look Suo in the eye for longer than a few seconds, the revelation too recently in his mind for him to act normal.

He pretends he doesn’t notice the suspicious looks both friends give him.)

Maybe, just maybe, painting walls isn't the worst thing. Maybe he was too quick to judge the first few times around, and now he sees the light, the enlightenment that is enjoying covering a graffitied wall in a layer of fresh paint.

Who is he kidding? This is hell.

It’s so hard to try not getting paint on his clothes, wind breaker long discarded so he doesn’t even have to worry about that getting ruined, because once you get paint on a piece of clothing that shit is not coming out. He’s already got a limited array of clothing (having finally bought more clothes a few months ago), no need to make it even smaller.

It’s tiring work too, reaching high and low to cover the walls in paint. Why not just let the graffiti stay? It doesn't look that bad, if someone were to look past the vulgar word sprawled out in the middle of the piece.

And then there’s Suo. So confident in his skills that he refuses to shed his windbreaker. So graceful he makes the work look easy. He can’t tell if this makes him jealous, or just makes his crush on him worse.

It’s been a while since Tsubaki knocked some sense into him. And he still hasn’t thought about what he wants. It’s just all still too new. (And besides, what if he wants something, but Suo doesn’t? That would be a nightmare.)

He’s just taking it slow, if one can call his pace slow. It’s unmoving, actually, because thinking about it makes him too flustered and bashful to actually think straight.

There’s a sudden, weird sensation being smoothed across his arm, something cold and wet making contact with his skin. Snapping from his thoughts, Sakura looks over to see the top of his forearm covered in a stripe of paint.

Sakura is spinning around and facing Suo quicker than someone can snap. “Don’t you dare !” he warns, wielding his paint roller like a weapon. “If you get paint on my clothes, it’s on sight!”

Suo, standing innocently with his paint roller hidden behind his back, tilts his head like a lost puppy. “Ah, is that directed towards me?”

“We’re the only ones here right now!” The rest of the group that was with them split off, having to help with something else. Originally, Sakura wanted to go with them, but Kiryu and Nirei had argued it’d be unfair if Suo was left by himself to paint. So, he stayed. And now he really wishes he left Suo behind. (Not really.) “Of course I’m talking to you!”

“But I didn’t do anything.” Suo turns to the side, keeping Sakura in his peripheral vision as he resumes painting part of the wall.

Sakura, riled up, grips his paint roller tighter. “I’m going to roll this stupid thing over your face.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” The smile on Suo’s face makes him want to run into the nearest body of water. Or hit him. Punch him. Kiss him. Something.

Huffing, Sakura turns back to his task, painting in vigor. He pointedly ignores Suo beside him, and eventually relaxes again, the paint on his arm quickly drying.

Either Suo was lucky, or he took deliberate care in not getting paint on his sleeve.

Finishing up a line of paint, Sakura’s about to step back and see if he missed a spot when he finds a now familiar sensation of paint being rolled over his skin again. This time, it’s on the back of his calf.

“Suo!” Sakura shouts, throwing his paint roller to the ground with a clatter as he spins around, hands ready to reach out and throttle the other.

Suo looks delighted, his smile practically reaching his ears. He’s stifling a giggle, stepping back as Sakura surges forward angrily.

And there it is, that look, right underneath his smile. That same look.

“Stop it!” he scolds, bringing his hands up to mime himself strangling Suo by the neck. “I will punch you.”

“Sure you will,” Suo teases back, and Sakura feels like he’s going insane. His heart is beating faster in his chest.

“You want a taste of your own medicine, huh?”

“No, not particularly.”

“Then stop painting me.”

Suo’s head tilts again, and he gives Sakura a challenging look. “And if I don’t stop?”

“Are you dumb?” Sakura looks incredulously at him. “Did you not just hear me?”

“Hm? No, I don’t think I did, actually, would you mind repeating everything to me?” Completing the jab with a mischievous, hungry smile, something in Sakura snaps, and he practically lunges forward, reaching out to grip the front of Suo’s clothes.

In the split second it takes him to move, Sakura suddenly finds himself with his back against the wall Suo was standing against, a single hand on his shoulder.

And Suo, who just flipped him around with one hand to pin him against the wall, is still looking at him like he’s about to eat him alive. It looks like he wants something.

This fucker .

“Suo.” Sakura growls in warning. It’s suddenly just a little too much for him. If Suo gets closer, or keeps looking at him like that, he might do something stupid. Like headbutting him. Or punching him. Or…

It’s the look again .

Why does Suo only look at him like this sometimes? This satisfied yet starving look, happy yet longing. Does he keep doing something? How does this keep ending up happening?

At Pothos, at Furin, his own place, it’s not limited by location. But it’s always when Suo is next to him, his eyes on him.

It’s always when Sakura’s been riled up, right after—

It’s always right after Sakura says Suo’s name. That’s it, that’s the catalyst.

But why ?

Is there something special about Sakura saying his name? Is it the way he sounds annoyed and agitated? Is it just because it’s his name?

He doesn’t dog anyone else to say his name, does he? It’s got to be something related to himself.

What makes him so special? Why just him? It’s not because he’s easy to get a reaction out of, Nirei isn’t that far off from him and Suo doesn’t go after him nearly as much.

Something Tsubaki said to him suddenly slips into Sakura’s mind, and something clicks in the back of his mind.

Special…is he a “special friend”?

Does Suo…

No. He doesn’t, right?

Right ?