Chapter Text
“We can’t just not look for her!” Dapper screamed, slamming his hand against the table. “She might still be here!”
“We can’t risk everyone going out to look for her!” Ramón shouted back. “If they have her already, they will be looking for the rest of us! We can’t all go at once! You damn well know that Chayanne would say the same thing.”
“But she’s my sister! She’s being stupid right now. My dad would-“
“Your dad’s not here! My dad’s not here! No one is and so I’m telling you to stay!”
It was Tallulah’s insistent shaking that had woken Chayanne up. Not the shouting. Not the anger. Not the fighting and the tears. No, it was Tallulah. Chayanne rolled over and stared up at her, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “What is it, hermanita?” Tallulah shook him again and pointed over to Dapper and Ramón near the door and that was when Chayanne realized how serious whatever was going on was. “Pomme left. Llulah, Pomme left, didn’t she?” Tallulah sniffled and rubbed the tears from her eyes and that was all the confirmation that Chayanne needed.
Dapper and Ramón are still bickering. Richarlyson looked like he wanted to pace but Ramón and Sunny had been fidgeting with his leg last night to get it more functionable and now he was stranded. Pepito was crying. Chunsik was curled up behind Richarlyson. It’s like it’s the end of the world.
The world has ended. They are at the end of the world. It’s over now.
“I’m going after her,” Chayanne said. He stood up and yanked his nightshirt off before Dapper or Ramón could protest. “I’ll look for her.”
“She’s my sister. I’m looking for her too,” Dapper demanded. “I’m not just leaving her.”
“No one is going out right now,” Ramón insisted. “If they have Pomme, they will be looking for the rest of us already.”
“I will go after her,” Chayanne repeated. “It’s my fault she left in the first place. I got in a fight with her. I will bring her back. I’m not arguing. Everyone else will stay here and I will look for her.”
Chayanne tugged the rest of his clothes back on and shoved himself into his broken armor. Sword, food, water. Everything should be in his bag. He never unpacked it. Tallulah grabbed at his hand before he could storm off to the door. He halted. Tallulah stared up at him, eyes wide. Tears down her cheeks. Her Manzanita was gone. Pomme had always been her good friend. She pressed a rose into his hand, a poppy wrapped around it. Good luck. A prayer. Begging Rose to keep him safe.
“I’ll be back,” Chayanne promised. Tallulah tapped at her ears and he crouched back down. He missed hearing her talk. Missed her jokes. Missed listening to her laugh about her trauma. Their dad would no doubt have something that would make her giggle but Chayanne is not Phil. Instead, her hearing aids are broken and they are left to sign language by now. A language Tallulah had never really used in the first place. “I promise. Amapolita, I’ll be back. I’ll find Pomme.”
“I’m going,” Dapper insisted. Chayanne rose to his feet and tucked the flowers behind his ears. He needed to rebraid his hair. Tallulah had cut her ages ago. Cut it again. She had nothing to be happy about and she made it clear. That was what Phil had always said. Hair holds memories, is the message of a king. Technoblade had taught him that. Chayanne couldn’t cut his hair yet. Not when he still had hope.
“Dapper, you’re staying,” Chayanne said. “I don’t want to see you anywhere near that door. You are too upset to be looking for Pomme. You’ll get yourself caught. Ramón is right about that.”
“You shouldn’t be going either,” Ramón continued. Dapper reached for the door and was stopped by Ramón. That was enough to send him storming out of the hallway and back into the room. “It’s too risky.”
“And if Pomme is still out there, they will find her,” Chayanne said firmly. “I upset her. I’ll go after her. I’ll look. If I’m not back after dark, then I was taken too and we’ll know.”
“Chayanne, you can’t just sacrifice yourself like that,” Empanada gasped. “Who’s gonna be in charge? What are the Federation going to do to you?”
“I won’t be taken,” Chayanne promised. “Until then, Ramón is in charge. No one goes out. Nothing comes in unless it’s me or Pomme. Do you understand?”
“I don’t like this at all,” Ramón said, reaching to grab Chayanne by the shoulder before he could leave.
“I don’t like it either,” Chayanne said. “I just thought Pomme would be smart enough to not much such a dumb decision. I forgot that she’s just a kid.”
“We’re kids.” Ramón tugged at his handkerchief stuffed into his pocket and Chayanne shrugged. Some kids they are. Out here, fighting to survive on their own. Begging the Federation to give them their parents back.
“Someone’s got to be the adult. I shouldn’t have asked Pomme to be an adult about this. I’ll do it if I have too.” Chayanne pulled his arm away from Ramón and pushed past him. He paused. He can hear Tallulah sobbing from behind him. He can hear everyone. If Pomme is gone, what hope does that leave the rest of them? He turned on his heel to wave at everyone. Fully aware that this might be the last time he does but Chayanne is way past the point of caring.
“I’ll be back.” It’s a broken promise. One he can’t guarantee to keep. Chayanne signed a ‘you and me’ to Tallulah. Instead of getting the response he wanted, she threw herself back down on their bed and sobbed harder.
The outside world is miserably quiet. Chayanne felt like crying. He crept along anyway, hiding under lower branches and wiped the tears from his cheeks. Bit into his arm to muffle a sob so he couldn’t be identified by the sounds. The sun felt like a foreign entity despite the fact that he’s under it every day. The wind ran through the trees in a comforting whisper but it’s never worked on Chayanne before. The closer he got to spawn, the more disturbing their little world got. Phil always talked about his solo server. Sometimes the one that he died to a baby zombie in. Sometimes, it was it was a different one. Always talked about the exploration and the fun. Chayanne can’t wrapped his head around how alone his dad would have been. How much his dad would enjoy this.
“I don’t know who I’m begging,” Chayanne whispered through the tears. “But please let me find Pomme. Please let her be okay.” He’s not religious like Tallulah is. If any god is going to listen to anyone, it wouldn’t be him. The one who hardly ever talked to them unless he needed something. He was sure they were sick of him now. Always begging but never just talking. They’d like Tallulah better. All she does anymore is talk to them. She won’t talk to Chayanne. She won’t talk to anyone.
They’re all shells. Empty and hollow and trying to make it work anyway. Chayanne can’t blame Pomme for running off to the Federation. They’ve all been that suicidal for months now. It would only take a moment for one of them to actually act on it.
Pomme is eight. Maybe nine. It doesn’t even really matter. Mentally, none of them have aged anything. Just matured. It’s the reason why Sunny picks fights with Leo all the time over small things because she’s seven. Seven year olds nitpick everything. The reason why Leo likes to provoke everything she can. He’s at the age of testing and setting boundaries. Chayanne isn’t much older but it’s a pattern he can point out. It’s the phase he and Bobby were in when they were adopted.
Chayanne slipped into the Spawn building by a broken window. If Pomme would be anywhere, she would be in here. If not here, than maybe in an old home. He had a feeling though. The sinking in his stomach told him that Pomme would have run here to stare at the screens playing the ads.
“Pomme,” He whispered. “Pomme?” Cameras are everywhere. They’d cut most of them down but some of them are still active. He doesn’t know which ones. There are screens all over and he can hear the shouting. There’s always sounds of torture that come with it. He thought it was Tio Cellbit but he wouldn’t look. Wouldn’t pay attention. Block it out so he wasn’t motivated to try to do something to save him.
He found Pomme asleep in one of their little hiding places in the wall. It gave her a perfect vision of the screen but hidden enough to be missed by anything trying to kill her. Chayanne nearly cried at the sight of her.
“Pomme,” He said, dropping down at her side and shaking her. She looked nearly dead. Chayanne was terrified at first before he realized her skin was warm and the small noise he couldn’t place was actually just Pomme’s breathing. “Pomme, wake up.”
“No,” Pomme sobbed. Still half asleep and pushing at Chayanne. She mumbled something in French, something Dapper might know but her parents definitely would have. She rolled to the other side and hid her face.
“Pomme, it’s Chayanne,” He said. He shook her again. There was a shout in the background that had Pomme flinching. “Wake up.”
“Chayanne?” Pomme mumbled. She rubbed at her eyes and sat up. She had been dreaming. Had ended up back home in her dreams because she stared at the wall until the reality set in and whatever remained of those last bits of childhood disappeared with reality setting back in. “I scared you.”
“Yeah. We fought last night. We thought you were gone,” Chayanne agreed. “Dapper is freaking out. What were you thinking?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Pomme shrugged. She rubbed at her eyes again and her eyes landed on the screen that Chayanne refused to look at. To let it get to him. “It’s fine. I’m sorry for scaring you. I meant to come back last night. I must have fallen asleep.”
”Pomme, you scared the shit out of us,” Chayanne repeated, dropping back down on the floor next to her. Back to the screen. Chayanne will cry if he has to face reality again. “Talk to me. I’m sorry I shouted at you. I shouldn’t have done that. Okay, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
”Chayanne, don’t,” Pomme sighed. She curled up, pulling her knees to her chest, and stared. She tugged at her pants and dropped her head on her arms. “Please don’t. It’s my fault. You shouldn’t have to do everything. I’m sorry I scared you. I didn’t mean to scare you guys. I did mean to come back.”
”But you didn’t,” Chayanne answered. “That’s why you left when we were asleep. You meant to not come back.”
”I want my mom,” Pomme sobbed. She curled in on herself and hid her face away. “I want my mom and I want my dad. I don’t care which one. I want them all. I want my mom and she’s on the screen and she’s so close and she’s so far.”
”Pomme, they’re not going to give you to her,” Chayanne whispered. He didn’t know if he should hug her or if he should keep to himself. Or if he should leave. Pomme was not doing well at all. Maybe it was better for her to be gone. But Chayanne can’t lose her. He’s being selfish. He needed her. He needed her to be there so he didn’t go insane.
”I know! I know they aren’t going too.” Pomme sniffled in her hands. “But some part of me just wants them too. I just want my mom. I want my dad. I want someone. Why did they have to take them? Why did we have to stay behind? Why do they do any of this at all?”
”I don’t know.” Chayanne kicked at the rubble on the ground. “I don’t know why they do the stuff that they do. I won’t even pretend like I know the answers. We’re just kids.”
”Why did they do any of this to us? They made us in tubes and kept us locked up. And then they pulled us out just to be their little pawn. To make our parents do things.”
Chayanne hated remembering that. Hated remembering what it was like in those tubes and cages. Shaking at the bars and reaching his hand for whoever he could reach to make them feel just a little bit better. Where there were doctors and scientist poking and prodding at them just until it hurt and they stopped. Chayanne never knew how many of them there were, just that he never saw some of them again.
”I don’t know,” He answered honestly. “Pomme, if I knew, I would tell you. I promise. But I don’t know. I wish I did. I wish I knew a lot of things. But what I do know is that they aren’t going to bring you to your mom. At best, you end up in a cage again.”
”They didn’t even want me,” Pomme wailed. Chayanne pulled her into a hug then. It felt like hugging Tallulah on some of those late nights in the bunker. Where Tallulah would wake up crying for a dad she’d never see again and whisper that no one had wanted her.
”We want you. Your parents want you. And we will save them. We know that they are back at the Federation building. Back home. You know the way. I need you here. Your parents need you. Your mom does. We’ll find her and your dads and we’ll burn the whole damn building down. I swear. But right now, you gotta just come back. You gotta or Dapper’s gonna freak.”
”I want Dappy,” Pomme cried. She fell into Chayanne’s arms and cried against his shoulder. “I want him.”
”Then let’s go back. He’s scared shitless for you.”
Chayanne waited until Pomme’s crying turned into a soft sniffling and he led her back out. Any longer and she might have not been there at all. She might have been gone. They might have never seen her again. But instead, he found her and now he had to lead her all the way back. Pomme whispered her apologies and Chayanne promised that it was okay.
Meanwhile, the world is ending and it has ended.
Pomme dropped down their ladder first and Dapper was quick to sweep her up in a hug and give her a scolding of a lifetime. All the way until Pomme started crying again and it was Dapper’s turn to listen to her crying for her parents. The mood had been awful before but it was terrible now. Pepito was pulling at Richarlyson’s sleeve, repeating the same two words over and over again. Chayanne can’t be bothered to figure out what it is. Ramón was back with Sunny, working on Richarlyson’s leg but it looked like the damage might be irreversible. Leo sat with Tallulah. It seemed like neither of them had said a word for hours though.
The next day, Pomme was the one shoving them out the door and dragging Dapper with them. It was some attempt at an apology that Chayanne had already forgiven because he understood why she did it in the first place. But Pomme was the first to push through and the first to end their break that day.
“When they got taken,” Dapper whispered to Chayanne later. When Pomme stood on the ledge of a hill for a little too long and stared longingly out at the trees and rivers below them. “Pomme and I were at Dad’s. Mom was spending the night. Gonna have a sleepover. I don’t know. I didn’t think much of it. Dad was in his room. Mom fell asleep with Pomme. I don’t think she was doing well but I never told that to Pomme. Dad was doing better though, I think. I don’t remember much about then. I wish I did. When they took them, Pomme was there. She only didn’t get taken too because I was there. Mom was asleep next to Pomme and they took her. Pomme reached but all she got were feathers.”
Chayanne had assumed it was something like that. She’s still young. Younger than Chayanne has ever got to be. He couldn’t hold it against her. Dapper never did. Same way Chayanne could never hold it against Tallulah. It doesn’t stop the burning anger in his chest that says it’s not fair.
Pomme pushed them through the dark and she tripped over some roots and twisted her ankle. She cried. It wasn’t for anyone in particular but she curled up in Dapper’s arms and cried for her parents anyway. Chayanne knew, shushing her softly as he walked by to set up up their Waystone again, waiting for a Code to appear out of no where and when they could go home, Chayanne helped Dapper get Pomme on his back. She sat down on the ground back home, wiping tears from her cheeks, and Chayanne had to run back and forth between their base and their Waystone three times before he had enough to splint her leg.
”It’s not your fault,” Chayanne whispered, wrapping her ankle and just praying to his gods that the swelling will stay down. “And you can keep Richas company for a while now.”
”I messed up,” Pomme cried. She rubbed her eyes and reached for Dapper to hold her again. “I’m sorry. I should have been watching where I was going.”
”It’s fine, Pomme,” Chayanne promised. He finished wrapping up her leg and hugged her tightly. “It’s okay. Accidents happen. You’re alive. That’s all I care about.” Dapper and Chayanne helped her come down the ladder again and Ramón helped move Pomme back over to her own bed to sleep.
That night, Pomme lay crying in her bed. Richarlyson sat on his own bed, stranded with his broken leg on the table, scribbling angrily on the pages in front of him. Drawing again. Empanada said that his pictures were getting angrier. That Richarlyson was getting angrier. Tallulah lay curled up at Chayanne’s side, asleep and flushed. A hint of a fever. She’d been getting those a lot more but they never spread to anyone else. An act of the gods or of the demons running their life now, Chayanne didn’t know.
Chayanne buried his head in his own hands and cried. There’s no one there to comfort him. Never is. He has to be the strong one and it was wearing down on him. He was exhausted. He wanted his dad. His dad isn’t coming. His dad is in a cage. It’s a beautiful cage, Chayanne has seen it on the screen. Golds and greens and blues. It’s soft with bedding and far more comfortable than anything Chayanne has now and the outside of the cage is greens and forests and soothing. But it’s a cage. It’s clearly a cage. Chayanne could see the sagging in Phil’s shoulders and the chains wrapped around his wings.
“If you hand yourself over, Chayanne,” The voice called over the screen. German. Just for him. “Hand all of them over, it’ll be over. We’ll give your sister to your dad. That’s what you want, right? To make your sister happy. To help save your dad. Pomme, Richarlyson, Tallulah… they’ll all get their parents back. That’s what you want. To have them back.”
Chayanne wasn’t stupid. He knew what would happen to him. He’d end up in a cage again. His siblings would end up in a cage. Maybe they were telling the truth. They’d give Tallulah to their dad. Maybe Pomme would get to see her mom again and Richarlyson would go to his dads. Maybe those three will get a better chance if Chayanne had just handed them all over. But the selfish part of him didn’t want to end up in a cage again. He didn’t want to be curled up in the cold and listen to the others sniffle and cry. He didn’t want needles to poke at his body and tests being run and Chayanne didn’t know how many times they did this to them before but he wanted it to end.
“You know that’s what your sister wants. To see your dad again. That’s the only thing she wants. You know it. You’re being selfish.”
If this was being selfish, Chayanne didn’t want to know what being selfless was like.
Chayanne was over it. He’s over it. Dapper and Leo were his companions in the dying world and Chayanne felt dying himself. Richarlyson started bickering with Ramón, angry at life and the fact that he’s confined to the room and that his leg is broken beyond repair and he can’t go anywhere anymore. Not until they find a solution.
By the time Pomme can walk again, they’re closer to the old Spawn. Not by much. Not enough. But closer. Pomme cries in her sleep every night. Tallulah had reached a fever of 40 degrees Celsius and was inconsolable. Ramón hated Richarlyson, only until he couldn’t see him. Richarlyson hated everyone. Sunny and Leo fight every day and then some. Chayanne hated his life. Hated everything. He just wanted his dad back.
”There’s smoke,” Pomme called softly. “I see smoke.” She turned back from where she was looking over the ledge of a hill. Chayanne would be a liar if he said that he wasn’t thinking about throwing himself off of it. He spotted a pig nearby and corrected his thoughts.
”Smoke?” Ramón frowned. He turned in Pomme’s direction. “There shouldn’t be smoke. The world is dead.”
”Could be a lava lake,” Chayanne mumbled, rubbing his eyes. Pomme shook her head.
”No. Can’t be. It doesn’t look like a lava lake. It looks like a fire. Like a chimney fire. Someone’s house,” Pomme insisted. “It’s not a lava lake. It’s a real fire.”
”Pomme, no one else lives here. It’s the end of the world,” Chayanne replied. “It’s not a house. It can’t be a house. The Federation took everyone.”
”It’s a house,” Pomme insisted again.
”Pomme’s right,” Ramón frowned. “It’s definitely not a normal fire. It doesn’t look anything like a natural fire.” Chayanne sighed and shoved his sword back in it’s holster.
”I think you’re seeing what you want to see,” Chayanne said. “And even if it is a house, it’s a Fed house. It’s a trap. The Feds want us to come back. They want to take us. It’s not going to be a person. They took them all. They’re captured by the Federation. We’re going to get them back.”
”Unless…” Pomme frowned. She hugged herself and tucked her hair behind her ear. That feather, very worn and loved by now, dragged against her cheek again. She can’t help her nervous tick but it made Chayanne numb looking at it. “Unless the Feds want us back so they could start over.”
”They wouldn’t do that,” Ramón replied. Too quickly. He was afraid.
”Think about it,” Pomme continued. “They only want you guys. Tallulah and Richarlyson are messed up. That’s why they told Chayanne they could see their parents. They’re messed up. They didn’t want them in the first place. The other two are gone entirely. They didn’t want me either. Give us to our parents so we stay locked up and start you guys over. Why would they only give some of us back?”
”You’re seeing and hearing what you want to hear,” Chayanne repeated. Because he can’t have hope anymore. If he had hope, he’ll lose it. “They aren’t going to put new islanders on the island while we are still here.”
”They have no idea where we are,” Ramón pointed out. “They might think that their new islanders are too far away from us.”
”You’re hallucinating,” Chayanne snapped. “Let’s just keep moving.”
”Fine,” Ramón scoffed. He turned on his heel. “You don’t need to be a dick too.”
”Ramón, don’t start,” Pomme huffed. She trailed after them. “We don’t need another fight. Chayanne’s got enough going on and Tallulah’s sick.”
”We all know that’s the only thing he gives a shit about,” Ramón continued.
”Ramón!” Pomme exclaimed. “Stop it. Don’t annoy him! He does enough as is.”
”Shut up,” Chayanne snapped. He covered his ears and pretended like it was covering his tears too. “Fuck off. Leave me alone. I’m trying my fucking best.”
“You’re doing enough,” Pomme promised. She adjusted her scythe on her back and caught up to Chayanne again. “I promise. You do great. Ramón just being annoying because Richarlyson yelled at him this morning.”
“Richarlyson can go fuck himself,” Ramón called from somewhere ahead. “If he wants to fuck over all of his relationships and make no one want to help him, then that’s his fucking problem.”
“He’s literally trapped in our base, Ramón. Cut him some slack,” Chayanne called back. “He can’t move. We haven’t been able to figure out how to replace his leg and now he’s trapped. At best, he can crawl around. Be somewhat understanding.”
“And Tio Fit ended up on the screen too,” Pomme whispered. “He’s suffering alone. He won’t tell Richas and he won’t tell Sunny.”
“At least he tries with Em and Sunny still,” Chayanne agreed.
The world is dying. It’s ending. It’s over. Chayanne continued forward only so that he could go home. It won’t feel like home. His dad won’t be there. But maybe, just maybe, if the worst happens, they can curl up in the sanctuary and Rose will take pity on them.
“Chayanne, there’s more smoke,” Ramón shouted from ahead.
“Forest fire then,” Chayanne answered. Because the world is dead. It’s over. It ended. It’s just them, the Federation, and their parents trapped in cages.
Maybe he should’ve just handed them over. It felt like needles and cages would be better than watching the world end before them. At some point, a cage would be better than whatever this is. Chayanne just wanted to fall in his dad’s arms and cry that it’s not fair.
The Federation doesn’t care about fair. Neither does a dying world. The gods are too busy surrounding his sister to pay attention to him. Chayanne can’t do it any longer. But a branch snapped somewhere ahead and Pomme latched on his his hand and Chayanne will do it anyway.
It wasn’t fair when it started. Maybe Chayanne’s the only one who’s ever cared about fair at all.