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Eddie first noticed his across the hall neighbor the day he and his son, Christopher, were moving into the building. The guy was leaving his apartment just as Eddie saw him heading for the stairs instead of the elevator, which was pretty occupied with all of his furniture.
The guy didn’t seem to notice him but Eddie noticed him. He’s tall with dirty blonde hair and bright blue eyes. He also seems to have some tattoos on his arms from what Eddie could see. And the guy is quite muscular— he looks like he works out often.
Eddie doesn’t see his neighbor much after that. They must have different working schedules.
Eddie had about two weeks to settle everything for Christopher’s new school and found himself a nanny— Carla, the best help he could ever ask for— to help him out with pickups before he started at the fire academy. He decided to become a firefighter since he already is a paramedic, he figured he could do this.
Leaving El Paso with a six year old with cerebral palsy has not been easy but what else was Eddie supposed to do?
His wife, Shannon, asked for a divorce about two months after he got home from being in the army for the past almost six years. When Shannon told him she was pregnant he enlisted. He was barely nineteen, he couldn’t be a father— so he left. He came home when he could— the birth of their son, a holiday here and there. Then his four years were up and Christopher was going to be three and got his diagnosis and Eddie panicked again and re-enlisted even though he promised he wouldnt. However, something bad happened while he was away— his entire team— he lost them all.
They released Eddie early and when he got home— they wouldn’t stop fighting and suddenly Shannon told him she wanted a divorce. It happened quickly and suddenly he was a single divorced dad living with the parents he hates who keep trying to become Christopher’s legal guardians so they could raise him.
All Eddie has ever done was leave so that’s what he did— this time he took his son with him. He wasn’t ever going to abandon Christopher ever again— especially not when his mother had left and he wasn’t sure when she would ever come back to see her son.
So far he likes LA and so does Christopher which is the important part. He likes his new school and has already made some friends, and he likes Carla a lot too.
It’s been about two months he’s living in this building and today’s the first time since he moved in that he sees his neighbor across the hall— hot guy with a tattoo similar to his on his forearm.
Carla arrived to take Christopher to school and he just waved bye to them as the elevator closed when the hot guy ambushed him back into his apartment.
The hot guy is looking through his peephole when Eddie asks, “What the hell are you doing?”
The guy turns around and leans his back against the door. He says, “Tryna ditch this one night stand. She wasn’t supposed to stay the night but somehow did and I was trying to get rid of her all morning but she wouldn’t budge so I said I had to get to work and I bolted.”
Ugh, of course he’s straight.
“And what does that have to do with you being in my apartment?” Eddie asks, crossing his arms.
The guy eyes him up and down and Eddie can’t help but feel like maybe he’s checking him out— or sizing him up. Eddie’s wearing grey sweatpants and a black tank top having just gotten Chris ready for the day but not himself.
“I don’t have work today and I saw you standing in your doorway saying bye to your wife and kid so I went with it,” the guy shrugs.
Wife?
“Carla’s not my wife— she’s my son’s nanny for lack of a better word,” Eddie tells him.
“So you’re not married,” the guy says, a small smirk on his face.
“Not anymore,” he tells him.
“Interesting,” the guy hums before turning back around and looking through the peephole. “Oh she’s leaving,” he whispers.
Eddie watches as this guy in gym shorts and a dark blue t-shirt is watching his one night stand leave. She must be gone because he turns to Eddie and says, “Thanks for hiding me,” before opening the door and heading back to his apartment.
What the fuck was that?
*
It wasn’t until two weeks later that Eddie learned the name of his one night stand fleeing neighbor. His name is Buck and he’s a firefighter— go figure. Well, he’s a probie. He said he has a month or so left before he’ll be done with his probation stage.
He also learned that Buck is bisexual because the next time he flees a one night stand it’s a man that won’t leave his apartment.
“So you’re—” Eddie struggles to finish his sentence.
Buck interrupts with, “Bisexual, yeah.”
“Cool,” Eddie says awkwardly.
Buck chuckles, eyeing him. Eddie thinks Buck might be wondering what his sexuality is but Eddie doesn’t divulge. He isn’t— well, he isn’t quite sure what he is.
He thought he was straight up until about three months ago when he first laid eyes on Evan Buckley— the hot tattooed firefighter who lives next door.
Eddie only ever had one girlfriend who became his wife. He’s only ever slept with two women before. The girl he met at the lake one summer then when he and Shannon got together. He loves Shannon— will always have love for her but he doesn’t think he’s ever been in love with her.
He’s having these new feelings arise because of some guy who lives across the hall— feelings that he’s never felt for Shannon or any woman.
Eddie realizes that he managed to develop a crush on his neighbor— his promiscuous neighbor who seemingly is so good in bed they don’t want to leave and end up spending the night and he has to ditch them the next morning. He definitely is not boyfriend material.
“He’s gone,” Buck says, looking through the peephole and snapping Eddie out of his own mind.
“Do you have—” Eddie starts to ask, seeing Buck turn to face him, waiting for him to continue. “Um— do you have somewhere to be or do you want to stay for breakfast?”
Buck smiles. “I can stay,” he tells him.
Eddie matches his smile and turns to lead the way to the kitchen. As he does so he says, “So uh— this is my place. You’ve only really seen the hallway.”
Buck chuckles, “It’s nice— homey.”
“Thanks, I tried,” Eddie tells him. He gives him a tour before they land in the kitchen. “So I’m not actually good at cooking.”
Buck grins, trying not to laugh. “Lucky for you, I am,” he tells him. “What do you got?”
The two of them end up spending all morning together until Eddie has to leave— he has training this afternoon for the fire academy.
*
Eddie is just getting home from picking up Chris from school when he hears a door behind him open.
“Hey,” Buck says as Eddie turns towards him.
He hasn’t seen Buck in a week and he honestly has missed him and his cheesy smile.
“Hi,” he says back.
“Hi,” Chris mimics from beside him.
“Oh sorry,” Eddie chuckles. “Chris, this is our neighbor, Buck. Buck, this is my son, Christopher,” he introduces.
Buck walks over and says with a bright smile, “It’s nice to meet you, Christopher.”
“You too,” Chris smiles back. “Do you want to come hang out with us?”
“Chris, I’m sure Buck is very busy,” Eddie tells him, secretly hoping he isn’t.
“No, actually—,” he starts to say and stops for a second when Eddie looks at him. He rubs the back of his neck and says, “I just got finished working a week straight, could use a fun hangout.”
So that’s why he hasn’t seen him in a week.
“Yay,” Chris says, making them both chuckle.
“Alright then,” Eddie says, finally opening the front door.
Chris heads inside first as Buck says, “Let me just lock up.”
“Okay, I’ll leave the door open for you,” Eddie tells him before heading inside.
Eddie puts Christopher’s bag in his room, taking out any school work they need to do tonight and bringing that into the kitchen and putting it down on the table. He hears the door open then close before Buck appears in the doorway.
“Chris has a bit of school work to do first, sorry we won’t be very entertaining right now,” Eddie tells him.
“That’s okay, I’m pretty good at math,” Buck says, pulling out a chair and sitting.
God, he’s perfect.
Eddie calls Christopher into the kitchen and he and Buck help Chris with his school work. As Buck helps him with math, Eddie calls to order pizza for dinner. The pizza arrives just as they’re done with Chris’s school work so they sit and eat together at the table before Chris asks if Buck wants to play video games.
Buck stays until Chris is sound asleep in bed.
“You’re really great with him,” Eddie comments. They’re finishing up their last beer, standing across from each other in the kitchen. Eddie leaning against the counter.
“He’s great— I love kids,” Buck tells him.
“Yeah, I love this one. He hasn’t had it easy so I’m just trying to make it up to him,” Eddie tells him.
“Tell me about it?” Buck asks cautiously before moving to sit at the table.
Eddie does the same and tells Buck everything— about Shannon, his parents, the army, being in a war zone, Christopher’s diagnosis, how he kept running from it all, up until now being here in LA training to be a firefighter and give his kid the best life he could because he couldn’t before.
“Oh, Eddie,” Buck says softly when he’s done. “You’re doing the best you can, you need to be kinder with yourself— stop being so hard on yourself. That kid clearly loves you and idolizes you. Have some faith that you’re doing good for him, and start taking yourself into consideration too.”
“Thanks,” Eddie nods.
He’s never been told any of that before — feels nice to hear it.
They’ve been sitting and talking for an hour, he realizes when he checks his watch. “It’s late, I have a training early tomorrow,” Eddie tells him.
“Yeah, no problem,” Buck says. “I’m off the next few days— let me know if you want to hang out again.”
“Okay,” he says simply. He walks Buck to the door and watches him as he goes to his apartment. They say bye from their respective doorways before Buck finally closes the door.
Eddie smiles to himself before closing his door too. God, he’s so down bad for this man.
*
The next day is much like the one before— Buck greets them when they get home from school and spends the evening with them again.
This happens every afternoon that Buck is off until he doesn’t see him much since he’s back to working multiple days in a row and some 24-hour shifts.
Then when Buck is back to being off for a few days, he sees him every evening. He misses Buck when he’s working and is not able to come over when they get home from school. He thinks about Buck constantly and has had some naughty dreams about him too.
Eddie realized that he’s gay and definitely has a crush on Buck.
It’s Friday morning and Eddie is saying goodbye to Chris at the door, watching him get into the elevator with Carla.
As the doors close, Buck rushes out of his apartment and pushes Eddie into his with him.
This hasn’t happened in over a month and Eddie was hoping that meant that Buck was done with one night stands— or at the very least kicked them out the night of so Eddie wouldn’t have to be subjected to this anymore.
“What are you doing?” Eddie asks, slight annoyance in his voice. This time Eddie is dressed for the day— he was just going to make sure he had everything before leaving right after Carla and Chris, but now Buck is stopping him by standing in front of his door and looking out the peephole.
“You know what,” Buck tells him before turning to look at him. “You look—”
“Ready to leave,” Eddie interrupts, before going back to what he was going to do after Chris left. He hears Buck follow him around. “Shouldn’t you be watching to see if your date leaves so that you can go back home?”
“Are you mad at me?” Buck asks.
Eddie sighs. He’s not mad at Buck. Buck is just being himself. He’s a twenty five year old firefighter who looks the way he does and is single. Why shouldn’t he fuck around if he wants to? Doesn’t mean Eddie’s happy about it but he shouldn’t put that on Buck.
“No, I’m not,” Eddie tells him.
“You sure?” Buck teases. “You sound kinda mad…”
“I just—” Eddie starts to say but sighs, shaking his head. He can’t say why he’s annoyed without sounding jealous and he doesn’t need Buck to know about his unrequited crush on him. “I think it’s pretty shitty to leave these people in your apartment like that. If you don’t want them around in the morning after getting your rocks off then you shouldn’t let them spend the night.”
“My rocks off?” Buck teases, laughing. “Who even says that?”
“You know what I mean,” Eddie rolls his eyes, turning away from him.
Buck moves forward, grabbing his arm. “Sorry, hey—” he starts to say so Eddie turns to face him. Buck still has his hand on his arm when he adds, “I didn’t know it bothered you like that.”
“It’s not—” Eddie shakes his head. “Whatever, man, you do you, just stop hiding out in my apartment to avoid the people you fuck— I have a kid.”
Buck looks taken aback. “I— I know,” he says softly, hurt. “I wasn’t— sorry. It won’t happen again,” he adds before turning around and leaving.
Fuck.
He didn’t mean to hurt Buck’s feelings. He’s just— jealous. He hasn’t been confronted by Buck’s promiscuity in a month and in that time they’ve become really good friends. Buck might even be his best friend. His best friend that he has a massive crush on.
So seeing him fleeing another one night stand— someone he slept with after leaving Eddie’s apartment last night where Chris fell asleep with his head in his lap and his legs on Buck while they watched a movie.
It hurt.
After they spent a lovely evening together, Buck— he what? Went out and met someone? Called someone to come over? Either way, he fucked someone last night after they spent the evening together and Eddie can’t help but feel like shit about it— even though he has no right to.
Buck and him are just friends. Buck doesn’t feel this way for him. He needs to get over this crush and stop being jealous of the one night stands Buck has.
Easier said than done .
*
Eddie’s getting home later than usual when he hears a door open behind him.
“Hey,” Buck greets from his doorway.
Eddie unlocks the door then turns to look at Buck. “Hey,” he says back.
Buck closes his door and walks over. He asks, “Where’s Chris?”
“At my Abuela’s. I brought him after school since it’s Friday and I have training all day tomorrow,” Eddie tells him as they make their way into his apartment.
It feels routine now to just have Buck come over when he gets home. It feels nice.
“So it’s just us then?” Buck asks, waiting outside Eddie’s bedroom since Eddie went inside.
“Yup,” he says. “You gonna watch me change or—?”
“Oh, sorry,” Buck says, before turning and leaving. Eddie quickly changes into black sweatpants and a black tank top before joining Buck in the living room. He plops down beside him on the sofa, taking the controller out of his hand.
Buck lets him and doesn’t say anything while Eddie flips through the channels. He sees Risky Business is playing so he puts it on. “Love this movie,” he comments, settling into the couch, his feet up on the coffee table.
They’re silent— whatever happened this morning is still lingering between them.
“I’m sorry about this morning,” Eddie tells him.
“It’s fine—”
“No, it’s not. I shouldn’t have said what I said about Chris— throwing that in your face like that, it wasn’t right,” Eddie says.
Buck shrugs, “I accept your apology but you were right. I shouldn’t be ditching these people and ambushing you in your apartment like that, it’s a dick move.”
Eddie nods, “So we’re good?”
“Yeah, of course,” Buck says, shoving Eddie’s shoulder, making him chuckle.
“Good,” Eddie says, focusing back on the TV.
After a moment, Buck asks, “Why don’t we go out tonight? Go to a bar or something?”
Eddie groans, “No thanks.”
“Why not?” Buck asks, turning to face him.
Eddie groans again. “If you couldn’t tell, I don’t get many kidless nights and I have an all day training tomorrow that’s pretty important. Don’t really wanna go out tonight. You can go if that’s what you want—”
“No,” Buck says quickly. He clears his throat, “No, I just thought since you do have a kidless night maybe you’d wanna go out and I don’t know— get laid or something.”
“Excuse me?” Eddie chokes on his own saliva.
Buck laughs, “Oh come on, Eddie! You clearly need to. When’s the last time you even had sex?” he asks, looking at him a little too intently.
Eddie shifts in his seat, sitting upright. This is not what he thought they’d be talking about right now. “I don’t know—” Eddie shrugs. “A while.”
“Have you since Shannon?” Buck asks.
Eddie rubs his temple with his hands, wishing he was anywhere else. “No,” he groans into his hands.
“Eddie—” Buck starts to say.
“Can we not talk about this?” Eddie asks, looking at Buck.
“Why? Does this make you uncomfortable?” Buck asks him, a small smirk on his lips. He’s teasing him, little shit.
“Clearly,” Eddie snarks.
“Eddie, come on,” Buck says, bringing his leg up so he’s fully facing Eddie. “I’m your friend, right?”
Eddie rolls his eyes, “Right.”
“So let’s talk about it,” Buck tells him.
“I’d really rather not,” Eddie says. How can he talk about his nonexistent sex life with the guy he has a major crush on?
Buck ignores him, waving his hand in front of his face. “What’s your type? You like boobs? Ass? You a leg guy?”
Eddie groans again. “I don’t—”
“Stop saying you don’t know, you know, just tell me!”
“I don’t know, Buck, okay? I’ve slept with two women since I was fifteen— a girl I met at the lake the summer before I turned sixteen, and Shannon who I was with from sixteen until almost a year ago when she left me. I don’t even think I like women in that way if I’m being completely honest since you’re kind of forcing me right now,” Eddie rambles.
“Eddie, I’m sorry— fuck, I shouldn’t have done that,” Buck starts apologizing profusely. “I didn’t mean to make you come out just now.”
“It’s fine,” Eddie shrugs. “I— it’s new,” he says, scrunching up his eyebrows. “I haven’t really realized this about myself until I moved to LA.”
“Oh,” Buck says softly. “Well, just know, I’m here for you through your gay awakening.”
Eddie laughs, pushing Buck who tumbles backwards and laughs too. “You’re an idiot,” Eddie teases as he watches Buck sit back up.
Their laughter subsides and Buck says, “But seriously— I am.”
“I know,” Eddie smiles. Buck gasps, jolting Eddie slightly. “What the hell was that?” Eddie asks, composing himself.
“Sorry— I had a great idea just now,” Buck tells him.
Eddie waits, watching him. “Well?”
“We should fuck,” Buck says, simply.
Eddie chokes again on his own saliva— Buck needs to stop making that happen. “Excuse me?” he asks.
Buck smiles shyly. “Before you dismiss it— you are in desperate need to get laid—”
“I resent that,” Eddie interrupts.
“I speak nothing but facts,” Buck tells him. “You need to get laid and have just discovered your newfound queerness so who else would help you through this but me? You already turned me down to go out to find someone to fuck so clearly you don’t want to just fuck anyone, right?”
Fuck.
“Right but—”
“Oh, you’re not— okay, that’s fine, I shouldn’t have assumed you’d find me attractive,” Buck says then and Eddie needs him to stop talking.
Eddie grabs Buck by his shirt and kisses him. Buck immediately pulls Eddie to him, pressing them closer together on the couch. Buck brings his hand up to Eddie’s neck, running his fingers up the back of his head and into his hair.
Eddie moans when Buck tugs lightly at his hair and he can feel Buck’s tongue slip into his mouth. He moans again at the feeling— the taste of Buck on his tongue. Fuck.
Eddie pulls back and looks into Buck’s blue eyes that are now slightly darker than usual.
“So you do find me attractive,” Buck teases.
“Oh my God, shut up,” Eddie laughs, pulling Buck back into him.
Buck goes with it, smiling into the kiss. It’s perfect— the best kiss he’s ever experienced.
Eddie pulls back again, “Wait, wait, wait,” he says quickly. “We should probably establish some ground rules.”
Buck smiles softly, sitting upright, hands now in his lap. “Alright,” he says.
“First of all, this can’t ever happen when Chris is home,” Eddie tells him, pointing between them.
“Of course,” Buck agrees immediately.
“We always wear a condom and you— hopefully— already do with all your other conquests,” Eddie adds.
Buck rolls his eyes. “Yes, I do— always,” he reassures him. “Anything else?”
“This stays as a friends with benefits situation,” Eddie tells him— well, he tells himself but vocalizes it to Buck.
He needs to remind himself this won’t be anything more because in the short time he’s known Buck, he knows he isn’t the boyfriend type and Eddie doesn’t need to fall in love with a guy who won’t fall in love with him. This arrangement already is pushing it but Eddie’s hoping that if he gets this out of his system— hooking up with Buck— that maybe his crush will eventually go away and they can just be the friends they are.
He watches as Buck takes in his last rule with a quick no. Buck says, “Whatever you want, Eddie.”
Eddie nods, “That’s what I want.”
“And what I want is your lips back on mine now,” Buck says, reaching for Eddie.
Eddie lets Buck pull him back into him, easily falling into place on top of him, between his legs and his lips on Bucks. Buck’s hands are moving up and down his back and then down to his ass. He feels Buck squeeze his ass, pulling him harder into him as he deepens the kiss.
Eddie moans into it, his dick hard now in his sweatpants and can feel Buck’s hardness through his own sweatpants too. They move against each other— dry humping like their teenagers again and it feels so good.
Buck removes his lips from his and moans, “You feel so good.”
“Yeah—” Eddie chokes out on a moan as Buck thrusted up into him.
Buck smirks before kissing up his neck and to his ear. “Can I suck your cock? Wanna see if you taste as good as you feel,” he teases.
“Fuck,” Eddie moans. “Yes, please.”
“Mmm,” Buck hums, “I like how you beg.”
Buck’s thrusting his hard cock up against Eddie’s and the friction is getting him close already and now with Buck talking dirty right in his ear— “Please, Buck,” he begs some more. “Wanna feel that smart mouth wrapped around my aching cock.”
“Jesus,” Buck moans before kissing Eddie hard on the lips, shoving his tongue in his mouth.
Buck starts to sit up as they kiss— their lips not breaking apart as they change positions until Buck finally pulls off of him with one final kiss.
Buck drops to his knees in front of him and the sight alone— Buck’s curly hair a bit disheveled, his lips puffy from kissing, his bright blue eyes now dark with lust and want— makes Eddie want to cum all over him.
Buck pulls at Eddie’s pants so he lifts his hips and lets Buck pull them off enough to free his leaking, aching cock. “Fuck,” Buck moans when he sees it. He looks up at Eddie through his lashes as he takes Eddie’s cock in his hand and guides it to his lips.
Buck— not breaking eye contact— licks the head of his cock and Eddie’s hips jerk up. Buck smirks at him and says, “Try and hold still for me this time.”
This time? God.
All Eddie can do is nod so he does that as he watches Buck take him into his mouth. His lips move slowly down his shaft until he’s got all of him in his mouth.
“Jesus, Buck,” he moans, his eyes fixed on Buck.
Buck slowly moves back up and then back down. He slowly teases Eddie a few more times before he starts moaning around him, twisting his tongue around, licking his slit.
“You’re perfect—” Eddie moans out, his head thrown back on the couch. He looks back down at Buck who’s smiling around him, clearly pleased by the praise. Eddie leans into it. “You’re so fucking good at this, Buck. Your mouth— those lips— Jesus, Buck,” he moans when he feels Buck moan around him sending vibrations throughout his body. “You like that? Me praising you on how good you are?”
Buck moans around him again— he’s definitely got a praise kink.
“You feel so good stretched out around me like that,” Eddie tells him, he’s getting close now as Buck speeds up his movements. “Fuck, I’m close—” he warns him as he grips onto Bucks hair to try and pull him off but Buck doesn’t budge, just goes harder, faster, and works him through his orgasm. Eddie moans Buck’s name loudly in his apartment, breathing heavily as Buck pulls off of him slowly, wiping at his bottom lip.
Buck sits beside him and Eddie pulls him into a kiss. He kisses him deeply, wanting to taste himself on Buck’s lips. Buck moans into the kiss and he’s reminded that Buck didn’t come yet.
As they kiss, Eddie runs his hand up Buck’s thigh and to where he feels Buck’s hard and wanting. Buck moans into the kiss.
Eddie pulls back and does as Buck did— he drops to the floor onto his knees in front of Buck. “You don’t—” Buck starts to say.
“I want to,” Eddie stops him. “Plus, you’re supposed to be like— helping me through my gay awakening or something right?”
Buck laughs, “Yeah, true, okay— just go at your pace, okay?”
“Yes, sir,” Eddie teases as he pulls at Buck’s sweatpants.
Buck helps him lower his pants and take his leaking cock out. “It won’t take long,” Buck tells him as he looks at it.
He’s huge. Eddie’s dick twitches in his pants at the sight.
He takes it in his hand and does as Buck did— he licks at the tip and watches as Buck bites his lower lip, moaning softly.
Eddie takes just the head into his mouth, teasing his tongue around it before slowly going lower. He doesn’t take too much at once to not make himself gag but the feeling of Buck's heavy cock on his tongue is better than he was hoping for and the moans coming from Buck are perfect.
“You feel so good, Eddie,” he tells him as Eddie licks the underside of his cock. “Yeah, just like that— you’re doing so good, baby.”
Eddie moans at the pet name, lowering himself further onto Buck’s cock.
“Mmm, fuck,” Buck moans, “You like that? Like being called baby?”
Eddie moans around him and Buck tries not to thrust up into his mouth. His hand is on Eddie’s cheek, feeling himself against it. He’s gentle with him and it makes Eddie feel very comfortable.
He teases him a bit more before Buck says, “I’m close, baby.”
Eddie pulls off— not ready for all that to be in his mouth yet— and takes Buck’s cock in his hand, stroking him through his orgasm as he kisses Buck deeply on the lips. Buck moans into the kiss as he comes hard all over Eddie’s hand.
Eddie works him through it before letting him go gently. He brings his fingers to his lips and licks, wanting to taste him.
Buck groans, “That was so hot,” he says, watching him.
Eddie blushes, he can feel it. “You taste good,” he teases.
“Fuck,” Buck moans before grabbing Eddie’s face and kissing him again.
Eddie pulls back and grabs some tissues to clean his hand and then hands some to Buck. Once they’re both cleaned up and back in their pants, they lounge on the couch and continue watching the movie that’s been playing on low volume in the background.
Buck makes them dinner and they spend the evening together as they would any other day.
It’s when it’s getting late that things aren’t like any other day.
Eddie looks over at Buck who is already watching him and he smiles shyly like he’s been caught staring. Eddie feels himself blush.
“What?” He asks through a small chuckle, feeling too perceived.
Buck shakes his head. “Nothing, just thinking about how brilliant I am,” he teases.
Eddie laughs, rolling his eyes.
“So…” Buck trails off. Eddie eyes him, waiting for him to say what he wants to say as he raises his eyebrow. “Seeing as you have a free apartment—“
Oh.
“I was thinking we head to your room— only if that’s something you want,” Buck says, nervously.
Seeing Buck hesitate at the end— Eddie just wants to make him feel reassured. He smiles and says, “Uh— yeah.” He chuckles nervously, “I’d like that.”
Buck grins, making Eddie feel at ease. Buck stands and offers his hand to Eddie who takes it, letting him help lift him up. Eddie closes the TV and follows Buck out of the living room.
Buck stops in front of him, turning to face him and pulls him into his arms in an instant. Eddie gasps into the kiss, his arms moving to wrap around Buck’s neck as Buck holds him close, his hands on his waist, gripping onto him.
Eddie lets Buck take the lead by walking them to his bedroom without breaking the kiss— pressing him up against walls.
Eddie has never been kissed like this before and it’s something he never wants to end.
They stumble into his room, chuckling. Eddie backs away from Buck long enough to turn on the lamp on his bedside table.
Buck stands behind him, his hands on his hips as he turns him around. Eddie leans up to kiss him as Buck dips, their lips slotting together perfectly.
He can feel Buck’s fingers slowly move from his hips to the hem of his shirt as he starts to slowly lift it.
Eddie lifts his arms when he feels the shirt reach there and then pulls away from the kiss to let Buck take his shirt off and let it drop to the floor.
Buck looks at him— taking him all in. Eddie knows he looks good, he works out— but he doesn’t know if he looks good to Buck, he hopes he does.
Buck takes his own shirt off then pushes Eddie down onto the bed.
He grins as Buck straddles him on the bed, pulling him into a kiss. Eddie allows his hands to wander down Buck’s back, feel every muscle, feel his soft skin.
Eddie brings his hands down to Buck’s ass and grabs him, pulling him harder against him. Buck moans, his head going back as he rides and grinds against him.
“You look so good like this— riding me,” Eddie says. He trails his lips up Buck’s neck and then curls his tongue around his earlobe.
He nips at his earlobe and Buck moans loudly, “I need you.”
Fuck, Eddie’s never needed anything more than Buck right now.
Buck looks at him, halting his movements. “How do you want me?” He asks, a small smirk on his lips.
Right, this is about Eddie getting what he needs out of this. He doesn’t even really know what he needs out of this but what he wants is to fuck Buck— or be fucked by Buck— or both.
“Every way,” Eddie tells him honestly, a small smirk on his face. “But— let’s start with me fucking you,” he adds.
Buck looks intrigued. He smiles then leans in to kiss him. Pulling back, he asks, “Do you have— uh, condoms? And lube?”
Shit. “No, I— I don’t have any. I haven’t needed—“ he says when Buck presses a soft kiss to his lips.
Buck pulls back again to look at him and says, “I’ll be right back so don’t move,” before kissing him one more time.
He gets off of Eddie’s lap and makes his way out the door. He hears him say, “I’ll be quick,” before he hears the front door open then close.
Buck just left his apartment shirtless.
Eddie chuckles to himself. He decides to shed his pants and lay on the bed propped up against the headboard in just his boxer briefs to wait for Buck to return.
As he said— he was quick and is back in his doorway in no time. He stalls as he takes in the sight of Eddie on the bed waiting for him in less clothing than he left him.
“You look so good,” Buck tells him as he makes his way over to him, putting the condom and lube on the bed beside him.
Buck removes his pants too and gets on the bed next to Eddie. He leans in and kisses him, his hand coming up to caress his face. Eddie smiles into the kiss.
He gets more confidence to take control and kiss Buck exactly how he wants to— how he’s imagined for the past few weeks.
Eddie turns them over so that he is now on top of Buck, pressing him into the mattress, his dick hard in his boxers. He can feel Buck’s hardness press against him as he lifts his legs to wrap around him.
Eddie moans into the kiss— the friction feels so good.
Eddie pulls back as Buck untangles his legs from him so that they can shed the last pieces of clothing between them.
Once they’re both completely nude, Buck tells him to take the lube and put some onto his fingers so that he can finger him open. Eddie follows his instructions, putting some lube onto his fingers then bringing them between them, circling his index finger against Buck’s waiting hole.
Eddie feels Buck press down against him. He smirks and says, “You’re so impatient.”
“Need you now,” Buck tells him, pushing down again.
Eddie gives him what he wants, pushing his finger inside of him and twisting it around. Buck moans, “Yeah, like that.”
He continues to finger him open, adding in a second finger, following Buck’s moans and yeah, just like that to know that he’s doing a good job. He can see Buck’s cock leaking between them, his own is aching for some contact.
Buck grips onto the sheets and throws his head back, “Fuck, right there,” he moans. “Need you inside me now.”
Eddie slowly removes his fingers and takes the condom. He rolls it on and adds a bit more lube before pressing the head of his cock against Buck’s hole. He pushes inside slowly until he’s deep inside of Buck, both of them moaning at the feeling.
Eddie presses his face into Buck’s neck, breathing him in. “You feel so good, baby,” he moans.
Buck wraps his legs around Eddie’s waist, his hands running up and down his back. Eddie starts to move, pulling out then thrusting back in. He fucks him hard and deep and Buck seems to love it, moaning wantonly into his ear.
He moans loudly, throwing his head back again as Eddie hits that spot deep inside of him. “Fuck, you sound so good, baby— take my cock so good,” he moans.
Buck moans into his ear, “Call me baby again,” before he nips at Eddie’s earlobe.
He kisses Buck deeply, shoving his tongue in his mouth as he starts fucking him faster, harder— hitting that spot over and over as Buck’s nails dig into his back and his ass, his legs wrapped so tightly around him.
“You like that, baby? The way I fuck you hard and deep?” he says into his ear. “You take it so good for me, baby,” he adds before licking up his neck.
Buck drags him back in for a kiss— it’s messy and Buck’s moaning into it, it’s perfect.
Eddie’s got his right hand propping him up and moving his left down between them, he takes Buck’s cock into his hand. He feels close and he needs Buck to cum first so he strokes him matching the pace of his thrusts.
Buck grips onto the sheets, his back arching. Eddie’s never seen such a pretty sight. “You look beautiful, baby, the way you take it so good,” he moans, his orgasm building.
“Fuck—” Buck moans as he cums hard into Eddie’s hand.
Eddie leans down and kisses him before he moves his head to the crook of his neck and cums deep inside of him, moaning his name into his neck.
Buck rubs his hand up and down Eddie’s back through his orgasm— he’s never had someone take such good care of him afterwards. He’s always felt like he’s had to be the one to look out for his partner afterwards without wanting or asking for anything in return.
He slowly pulls out of him and plops down onto the mattress next to Buck. He takes the condom off and ties it, he slowly sits up and Buck matches him. Eddie turns his head to face Buck and kisses him on the lips once before getting up.
“Be right back,” he says softly.
That kiss just felt much more intimate than five minutes ago when Eddie’s dick was inside of Buck.
Eddie pushes that thought aside as he heads to the washroom to throw the condom away and clean up. He comes back with a warm washcloth and hands it to Buck.
Eddie climbs right back into bed beside Buck— he gets under the covers and sits with his back against his headboard.
Buck finishes cleaning himself up and says, “That was—”
“Amazing,” Eddie tells him with a smile.
Buck’s smile widens and he blushes slightly. “Yeah,” he says on a breath. He smiles shyly as he rubs the back of his neck. He asks, “Could I— uh— is it okay if I spend the night?”
Oh.
There’s no actual need for Buck to want to spend the night— he lives across the hall.
He kept ditching one night stands the next morning because he fell asleep before they’d leave and so they would just spend the night.
But Buck is asking him if he could spend the night with him.
Eddie knows he should tell him no in fear that his crush will continue to get bigger but he just— “Yeah, of course,” he says instead.
Buck grins, “Great,” he says as he pulls his side of the covers over him, getting settled in beside him.
Eddie chuckles, turning to find the light switch on the lamp and closing it. In the now dark room, they settle into the bed beside each other— both still completely nude. Eddie’s never felt more vulnerable but it also feels very comfortable like he knows Buck wouldn’t do anything to cause him any harm or embarrassment or judgement.
Eddie turns over to face Buck and he can tell Buck is already facing him. There’s not much light in the room but he can hear Buck’s soft breaths and feel his warmth as he’s close to him but not touching him.
“So, what kind of fantasies do you have? I wanna know what I could potentially fill before you feel comfortable to venture out into the world and find other people to fulfill those fantasies?”Buck asks, making Eddie blush. He’s thankful the room is dark.
“I— I’ve never been asked this before— uh,” he says, trailing off. Buck gives him the time to think about it, not pressing him, just waiting, like a silent comfort. For some reason, this is the first thing he could think of— “I’ve always heard of people waking their partner up with a blowjob and I’ve never experienced that before. I think it could be interesting,” he tells him honestly.
“That’s so hot,” Buck tells him. He smiles softly, blushing again— it feels validating in a weird way that Buck agrees with his fantasy— he thinks it’s hot. “I would definitely do that if it’s something you’d want from me.”
“Yeah,” he says softly. “Yeah— that’d be hot,” he teases. Buck chuckles beside him. “What about you? What’s a fantasy you haven't fulfilled yet?” he asks, turning the question over to Buck.
“Hmm,” he hums, letting out a deep breath. “I’ve never done the whole binding thing— you know like being handcuffed or tied to the bed frame or blindfolded.”
That both shocks and doesn’t shock Eddie. Shocks him only because he knows Buck is quite promiscuous but he’s not shocked because that sounds like it requires a lot of trust in your partner and from the few things he’s heard from Buck— he’s never had a serious relationship before.
The thought of tying Buck up and him being blindfolded as he fucks him— or with him tied up and Buck drilling into him. Fuck.
He clears his throat and stutters out, “Yeah, uh— me neither. I would try that.”
“Good to know,” Buck says softly.
They’re quiet again, a slight friction in the air between them now after the pillow talk, but it’s comfortable. He’s never felt this comfortable with someone before— or so quickly.
Eddie moves his right hand a bit on the mattress and it brushes against Buck’s. They both remain silent, neither of them even saying goodnight.
After a few moments, Eddie feels Buck’s hand move against his— his fingers moving over his hand. He’s reaching to hold his hand so Eddie allows it by taking Buck’s wandering fingers and the two of them locking hands.
He hears a content sigh from Buck before he whispers, “Goodnight.”
Eddie smiles to himself. “Goodnight, Buck,” he whispers back.
*
Holy fuck.
Oh my God, this feels so good.
Buck —
Eddie’s eyes blink open, soft sunlight trying to poke through the curtains. His eyes snap down to see this is happening— Buck’s got his mouth on his hard cock waking him up with a blowjob.
He reaches under the sheets to run his fingers through Buck’s curls. He hears and feels Buck let him go with a pop, his head then popping out from the covers with a devilish grin. “You’re up,” he teases.
“In more ways than one,” he smirks. “Don’t stop, keep going, baby ” he says, his hand running back through his hair.
Buck grins, he turns his head quickly to kiss Eddie’s wrist before going back down. Eddie pushes the sheets away so he can watch as Buck wraps his lips back around his cock.
“Fuck—” he moans.
The morning moves quickly after that— Buck leaves so Eddie could get ready for his day with a soft smile and a promise to come by with dinner when he gets back home with Chris.
The next two weeks become a routine of not seeing Buck all that much and then when he does, they’re strictly platonic as he’s always with his son.
Buck’s schedule goes from working twelve hour shifts for a few days in a row to having a day or two off before doing a couple twenty four shifts. During that time Eddie only gets to see him for a couple hours around dinner before he needs to go back to his place to get some sleep.
It’s nearly three weeks since they first hooked up when Eddie finds himself with another kidless night.
Eddie is just getting home with Chris on a Friday afternoon after school. Chris has a birthday slumber party to go to so he quickly swaps his school stuff for sleepover stuff— pajama, toothbrush, toothpaste, and clothes for the next day. He puts the bag on his shoulder and takes the birthday kid’s present by the door.
Eddie quickly looks around and sums up that he has everything so he looks over at Chris and asks, “You ready?”
“Yesss,” Chris tells him, standing by his side.
“Okay,” he nods. He unlocks the door just as Buck is coming out of his apartment.
“Hey,” they say at the same time.
“Hi Buck! I’m going to a slumber party,” Chris says louder, happy to see Buck.
Eddie’s fear of him falling for Buck is nothing compared to his fear of him somehow screwing this all up for Chris who loves Buck. He says he’s his best friend.
Eddie chuckles as Buck gasps, looking over at Chris. “You are?! That’s so cool,” Buck grins. “Who’s birthday is it?”
“My friend, Jess— from school,” Chris tells him.
Buck’s eyebrows furrow as he looks over at Eddie. “Boy-girl slumber party?” he asks, concern all over his face.
Eddie smiles fondly as he hears Chris start to giggle. “No— Jess is a boy, Buck,” he tells him like he should already know this.
“Oh, right— duh,” he chuckles.
Chris looks up at Eddie and says, “We should go, dad, I don’t want to be late.”
Eddie smiles, God, he’s so cute. He chuckles softly, “Yes, okay, we’re going.”
He looks over at Buck and asks, “You gonna be around when I get back or were you going out?” Buck’s dressed in dark jeans— fitted to him perfectly— and a forest green t-shirt with a black sweater on, unzipped.
“I was coming to see you actually,” Buck tells him with a shy smile. “So— uh, yeah, I’ll be around, let me know when you’re back.”
Chris had already pushed the button so the elevator dings as it arrives. “Bye, Buck!” Chris says before making his way into the elevator.
“See you later, buddy,” Buck tells him.
Eddie smiles at him, joining his son in the elevator. He takes him to his party— it’s a short drive and a quick drop off and he’s back home in no time.
Eddie quickly showers— knowing what they’ll get up to tonight. He puts on some black basketball shorts and a black tank top. His hair is still a bit wet but he thinks he looks good.
He texts Buck to come over and within a couple minutes Buck’s opening his front door. “Hey,” he calls out so Buck could follow his voice to the living room.
“Hey,” Buck says back as he makes his way into the room, coming around the couch to sit beside him.
Buck looks him up and down briefly as Eddie hands him a beer that he had just taken out of the fridge.
“You smell good,” Buck tells him before taking a sip of his beer, a smirk on his face as he wraps those perfect lips around the beer bottle.
“Thanks,” he says softly as he runs a hand through his half wet hair— a strand falling onto his forehead since there’s no product in it.
Buck hums as he watches him, taking another sip. He wonders what he’s thinking about but he has a good idea what.
They chit chat about their days like they do every time they see each other— so used to being close but not having been intimate in nearly three weeks.
After they eat dinner together while watching a movie and having a couple beers each— Eddie’s not had nearly enough benefits from that part of their friendship so he turns to look at Buck, unsure how he’s going to make this move but just going with it.
Buck looks over at him and smiles softly. Eddie looks down at his lips then after a beat looks back up into his eyes. He bites his bottom lip which draws Buck’s attention there. Buck leans in so Eddie meets him halfway, his hand immediately going to Buck’s face pulling him into the kiss they’re both going in for.
Eddie hums into the kiss— God, this feels so good.
He moves to straddle Buck— sitting right on his lap, feeling every part of him around him as Buck’s arms wrap him up, his hands moving up his back.
Eddie grinds down into him as their kiss deepens. He lifts his hips up slightly and then rocks back down against him eliciting a deep moan from Buck. “Fuck,” he says, pulling away from the kiss, his head back against the couch.
Eddie brings his mouth to Buck’s neck and starts sucking, his teeth nipping at his skin. “Not too high on my neck— don’t need the team raggin’ on me about a hickey. They ask too many questions,” he tells him.
He softly kisses that spot. “You got it,” he says before trailing his lips lower— right under his collarbone— and definitely marks Buck’s soft pale skin with a small hickey.
Buck pulls his face back up to kiss him, his hands grabbing onto his ass, squeezing it as he pulls Eddie hard against him. He continues to grind against him, the friction between them feels so good, he’s aching in his jeans.
Buck looks at him— must see his swollen pink lips, dilated pupils, messed up hair— and brings his thumb to his lips. He urges Eddie to open his mouth which he does willingly, intrigued by what Buck is about to do. He places his index and middle fingers onto his tongue and— God.
Eddie closes his mouth around his fingers and sucks them while he grinds down on Buck and holds his gaze. Buck moans, watching him suck his fingers. Eddie pretends it’s his cock, twirling his tongue around the digits, moving up and down his fingers slowly as he holds onto his wrist.
“I need to fuck you so bad,” Buck says then, making Eddie moan around his fingers.
He wants that so bad.
He slowly removes Buck’s fingers and teases, “What are you waiting for?”
Buck smiles at him devilishly. He nods so Eddie gets off of him, standing by the couch as Buck gets up as well. They make their way to his bedroom and when they get to the bed, Buck turns Eddie around and pulls him into a kiss. He has to lean up slightly when kissing Buck standing up but he likes it. He’s never kissed anyone taller than him before Buck— it feels nice.
When Buck pulls back to look at him, Eddie says, “I— uh— I have everything we need now.”
“That’s—,” Buck smiles softly— fondly. “That’s good.”
Eddie smiles shyly, blushing slightly under his gaze. Buck starts to undress so Eddie does the same. They sit on the bed and easily move together into a comfortable lying position together— their lips immediately on each other.
Buck gets on top of him, laying most of his weight on him. He pulls Buck’s face to his, kissing him deeply, his hand on his face and the other moving across his waist and to his lower back.
Buck moans softly into the kiss, pressing himself harder into Eddie. He brings his lips up to Eddie’s ear and asks softly, “Can I eat you out?”
Eddie’s nodding his head before words can even form in his mouth. “Ye— yes,” he stutters out.
Buck smirks, dipping in to kiss him softly on the lips before kissing all down his body— teasing him. He’s never felt this much care from a partner before— the way Buck kisses him softly on every inch of him.
He teasingly kisses near his aching cock before smacking his thigh gently and saying, “Turn over,” with a small smirk.
Eddie does as he’s told, turning around and lying down on his stomach. He turns his head so he can see when Buck lifts Eddie’s hips and puts a pillow under them, propping him up slightly for a better angle.
Buck kisses his lower back and asks, “You good?”
“Yeah— good,” he says, lifting his head from the pillow to look back at Buck.
Buck smiles at him. “The stuff you got— where is it?” he asks.
“Top drawer,” he says, nodding to the bedside table.
Buck retrieves the lube and a condom, leaving them both on the mattress next to Eddie.
He feels Buck take his ass into his hands, spreading his cheeks before taking a tentative lick at his hole.
That’s different.
Buck goes harder, licking and sucking hard at his hole— his tongue pushing inside of him gently.
Eddie moans at the feeling— this is new and different but it feels good.
His moans spur Buck on as he goes in deeper, his own moans and noises vibrating through him.
Buck pulls away and says, “Turn, wanna see you as I finger you.”
Fuck.
Eddie turns, lying on his back, the pillow now discarded. Buck gets between his legs and brings lube slicked fingers to his wet and waiting hole.
He presses his index finger in easily and Eddie moans out at the feeling. He pulls Buck into a kiss, tasting himself on his tongue.
Buck moans into the kiss. “You taste so good, baby,” he tells him, lips trailing to his neck, sucking a small mark under his collarbone— returning the favor back from last time— as he adds another finger, scissoring Eddie open.
His fingers graze a spot inside of him that has Eddie moaning Buck’s name loudly, his back arching and chest pressing up into Buck.
“Oh my G— right there,” he tells him, his hands gripping onto Buck’s arms. “I need you, baby.”
“You sure?” Buck asks softly.
“Yes, please,” he begs.
Buck kisses him, “Fuck, I love when you beg,” he tells him.
Buck pulls his fingers out slowly and puts the condom on before adding a bit more lube to his hand and stroking his cock.
Buck moans at the touch— he looks insanely hot. Eddie reaches for him and Buck smiles, leaning down to kiss him as he lines himself up with his hole.
“You ready?” He asks softly against his lips.
He kisses him and whispers, “Yes,” into his lips.
Buck kisses him harder as he pushes himself inside of him.
Eddie moans into the kiss, his mouth slightly open just pressed against Buck’s as he gets used to the feeling of having all of Buck inside of him.
Buck bottoms out, filling him with every inch of him. “God, you’re so tight,” he says. “You feel so good.”
Eddie wraps his legs around Buck and grips onto his back, pulling him in deeper. Buck thrusts in and out of him gently until Eddie says, “Go harder— deeper— please,” as Buck kisses his neck.
Buck kisses him, biting his bottom lip as he pulls almost all the way out before slamming back into him— his thrusts now harder and deeper just how he asked and God, it feels so good.
Eddie loved fucking Buck— seeing how good it felt for him but this— feeling all of Buck inside of him, hitting that spot over and over again as he kisses him all over his face and neck— it’s unlike anything he’s ever felt before. He doesn’t want this to end but he’s getting close to the edge.
“Touch me, baby, please,” Eddie begs, knowing what it does to Buck.
Buck reaches between them and starts stroking his leaking cock in time with his thrusts. Eddie moans, taking Buck’s face in his hands, kissing him hard.
He moans deeply into his mouth as he cums hard between them into Buck’s hand— his back arching off the bed.
Buck fucks him through his orgasm and chases his own. Eddie tightens around him and Buck moans into his neck as he cums hard inside of him. Eddie rubs his back soothingly much like Buck did for him last time— it feels good being able to comfort each other like this.
Buck kisses his neck softly before slowly pulling out and rolling off of him. He takes the condom off and ties it off. He takes care of going to the washroom to throw it out and clean himself off before returning with a warm washcloth for Eddie but instead of giving it to him, he cleans Eddie gently.
This crush he has on Buck has not gone away like he had hoped— if anything it has gotten stronger with each time they get to be intimate.
They don’t talk about it like last time, Buck just gets under the covers and this time pulls Eddie to him, cuddling up behind him.
Eddie’s never been the little spoon before— Shannon loved being the little spoon whenever they were together.
This feels nice. Buck has been working out a lot the past couple months so he’s gotten bigger in the muscles department, he’s filled out a lot and is broader than Eddie is so being wrapped up in his arms— Eddie feels safe— protected.
*
A month passes by— their routine still in place. They hang out whenever they can and in that month they’ve been able to have two kidless nights where they got to fuck around again. Eddie bottomed both times because he couldn’t stop thinking about that first night and him needing to feel that again.
Eddie’s noticed that in the past month— even since they started hooking up— that Buck hasn’t ditched a one night stand by rushing into his apartment. He doesn’t even think Buck’s been sleeping with anyone else as he spends every evening he can at Eddie’s apartment with him or with him and Chris.
He tries not to think about that too much— he doesn’t want to give himself hope that maybe Buck is falling for him and they could be together for real. He doesn’t want to hurt himself by hoping for that so he pushes that feeling down alongside his own crush for Buck.
It’s a Wednesday evening when Buck comes over after work— freshly showered and changed into comfortable clothes as his hair is still a bit wet, his curls look so soft.
He hugs Chris tight and winks over at Eddie in greeting.
Eddie just finished helping Chris with his homework and they’ve already eaten dinner as it’s now eight o’clock.
“Can we watch a movie?” Chris asks Eddie, looking up at him from where he stands next to Buck in the kitchen.
“Yeah but only for a bit— gotta get you in bed soon, it’s already eight,” Eddie tells him.
“Okay, dad,” he says before starting to make his way to the living room. “I wanna watch Inside Out,” he says on his way.
Eddie groans, not again.
“Can you go put that movie on for him, yet again? I’ll grab us some beer,” he tells Buck.
Buck chuckles, “Sure,” and makes his way to the living room.
Eddie joins them, passing a beer to Buck and sitting next to him. Chris has claimed an end spot on the couch with Buck in the middle so Eddie takes the only spot left.
The movie plays and Eddie tries to focus on it— even though he’s seen it about fifty times— just so he isn’t hyper focused on the way Buck’s leg is pressed up against his.
Eddie puts his empty beer bottle on the coffee table and settles back into the couch. Buck leans forward to put his bottle next to Eddie’s and leans back into the couch, his hand coming to rest on Eddie's thigh.
Eddie turns his head to look at him and Buck does the same, slightly leaning forward like he’s going to kiss him. Eddie pulls his head back abruptly and removes Buck’s hand from his leg, looking around him at Chris who’s completely unaware just watching the movie intently like it’s the first time he’s seen it.
Buck seems to catch on and keeps his hands— and lips— to himself. When it’s a quarter to nine, Eddie tells Chris it’s time to get ready for bed and he can finish the movie tomorrow. Chris starts to fuss but then when Buck suggests he read him a story, Chris is excited to get into bed.
Eddie allows Buck to put Chris to bed and read him a story. He first helps him get ready for bed and kisses him on the head before swapping with Buck.
Eddie cleans up while he waits for Buck to come back out of Chris’s room. He’s in there about twenty minutes before joining Eddie in the kitchen.
“He’s asleep?” Eddie asks.
Buck nods, “Mhmm, fast asleep.”
“Good,” he sighs. “Thanks.”
“Yeah— uh, so about earlier—” Buck starts to say.
“Sorry about that— I didn’t mean to flinch away from you, it’s just— that can’t happen in front of him, he can’t ever see that. I thought I made that clear from the start,” Eddie tells him.
Buck looks hurt and it breaks Eddie’s heart. He doesn’t want to hurt his feelings.
“Why can’t he see that?” Buck asks.
“Buck— you know why. This—” he says, motioning between them. “— we set rules for a reason.”
“You set rules and didn’t really tell me the reason,” Buck tells him.
“That’s my son, man— I can’t— he already loves you. If he saw us kissing he’d think we were together and would ask a lot of questions and expect you here all the time and what happens when this stops? What am I supposed to tell him? I can’t hurt him like that. I already hurt him by leaving so many times and his mom left too— I don’t want you to leave him too and it’s all my fault,” Eddie explains, hoping it makes sense and Buck can accept it.
Buck steps closer to Eddie, close enough to reach out and touch him but he doesn’t. “What if this doesn’t end?” he asks, nervously.
“What?” Eddie asks, confused.
Buck sighs, “Eddie, I want you— all of you— all of the time. I haven’t even hooked up with anyone else since this started between us. All I want is you— to be with you.”
Eddie blinks, trying to process it all. He was not expecting that— especially not getting confirmation that he hasn’t slept with anyone since they started. He hoped for this— even dreamed of it— but never expected it to be true— for Buck to have feelings for him.
“You— what? No, you’re not the boyfriend type,” Eddie says, still confused— maybe a bit untrusting that this is truly what Buck wants.
“Ouch,” Buck says softly. He looks hurt again— fuck, for not wanting Buck to hurt him he keeps hurting Buck.
“That’s not— you know that’s not what I mean— it’s just—” Eddie stutters. He takes a deep breath to call himself and says, “You told me you’ve never done the serious relationship thing— how could you know that’s what you want with me? This—” he motions to himself and towards his son’s room, “Us— me and Chris— there’s nothing casual about that. You date me then you’re also taking on my son and I just— I don’t know if I can trust that you won’t get bored of me or it becomes too much with Chris and you leave.”
Buck tries to interject, “No— Eddie, I wouldn’t—”
“I’m sorry, Buck but I don’t know if I can take that risk,” Eddie tells him apologetically.
He has to choose his son first— above all else— above what his heart is telling him and screaming at him that this isn’t the right choice. His mind is winning— telling him he needs to do the right thing by Chris even if it hurts.
“I think we should go back to being just friends,” he finds himself saying— hating every second.
Buck looks upset— sad. He nods, accepting the way it has to be. “Okay, if that’s what you think is best,” he tells him. Eddie nods, confirming it. “Okay,” Buck says again. “Uh— I should go.”
Before Eddie can say anything Buck is making his way towards the door so he follows him. As Buck opens the door, Eddie asks, “Are we okay?”
Buck looks back at him with a soft smile. “Yeah, we’re fine,” he tells him, unconvincingly. “Night, Eddie.”
“Night,” he says as he watches Buck cross the hall to his apartment. He steps inside and doesn’t look back at him when he closes the door.
Fuck.
*
They weren’t fine.
Eddie knows Buck was going back to work and doing long hours but he stopped coming by. Chris asks every day if Buck is coming and he has to tell him he doesn’t think so and watch his little face get sad.
This is exactly what he wanted to avoid and yet it’s still happening.
He doesn’t blame Buck— he rejected him— but he didn’t expect Buck to actually want him like that. How can he just trust him with his heart and his son’s heart when he’s already been let down by his own wife who left them both?
Okay, he did leave first— he can’t blame Shannon— he doesn’t— he just has a hard time trusting when people say they love him and want to be with him and then they just leave.
He knows Buck’s hurt and needs time— he just wishes he would speak to him. He sent him a text the next day to which Buck told him he’s working a lot of long and late hours the next few days so he won’t be able to come see Chris.
Come see Chris.
That hurts to read but he gets it— Buck’s hurt right now.
After those few days, Eddie knows Buck should be off for a few days but he tells him he’s busy or just doesn’t reply to him.
It’s almost two weeks since that night when Eddie’s finally graduating from the fire academy. He’s got a firehouse lined up to start at once this day is over— the 217— but he was told another firehouse really wants him. They didn’t tell him which one because they're still trying to see where they should send him but either way— it feels good to know both firehouses want him, that he’s done well at the academy.
It’s a late morning thing and it goes by quickly. He watches Chris in the audience with Abuela— both looking at him with big smiles, pride in their eyes. It makes him feel good to know they’re there for him and proud of him.
Eddie’s heart aches at the thought of Buck not being here. He had mentioned it to him prior to that night and he said he’d be there cheering him on from the audience super proud of him. Knowing he’s not here and still upset with him— it makes Eddie feel miserable, like he’s been the past two weeks.
After the ceremony, he goes over to hug Chris and kiss Abuela on the cheek with a loud mwah noise like he always does. “Thank you for coming and sitting with him,” he tells her.
“Of course, where else would I be?” she says with a flip of her hand.
“Dad, where’s Buck?” Chris asks, looking up at him.
Eddie’s stomach twists. “I don’t know, kiddo. I think Buck’s working,” he says— not really lying but also— he doesn’t know where Buck is— if he’s working or at home or with someone else now.
“Did you hear what happened?” Eddie overhears from a couple of his classmates behind him
“No, what?”
“There was a big car accident earlier— apparently someone from the 118 was in it and they’re the ones who were called ‘cause it happened right near them. Apparently the guy was driving home after a twenty four shift.”
Eddie’s stomach drops. He takes his phone out of his pocket and dials Buck instantly. The call goes right to voicemail. He tries again but it does the same thing.
“Fuck,” he mutters under his breath.
“What’s the matter?” Abuela asks him, her hand on his arm, seeing him start to panic.
“I don’t know— I’m not sure if it’s even him but I think Buck is hurt,” he tells her. “I need to go to the hospital and make sure.”
“Go, I’ll bring Chris to my house—” she starts to say but Chris interrupts her.
“No, I wanna go with dad,” he says.
Eddie looks down at him and tries to keep the worry out of his voice. “It’s okay, mijo, just go with Abuela, I’ll come get you after,” he tells him, his hand on his shoulder.
“No— if Buck is hurt, I have to come with you,” he says with finality in his little voice.
“Okay, let’s go then,” Eddie says, not having the time to argue with an almost seven year old.
They all get into Eddie’s truck and he drives as fast as he can— with respect to the limit— right to the hospital. He’s all dressed up in his uniform bursting through the hospital doors and running over to the reception desk.
“Buck—” he pants out. “Evan Buckley— is he here?”
“He’s here,” he hears from behind him. A woman with brown hair down to her shoulders stands— she has tears in her eyes and there’s a man a bit taller than her in uniform— he’s a firefighter. “I’m Maddie— I’m Buck’s sister,” she informs him. “This is Howie, he works with Buck,” she adds, introducing the man by her side.
“People call me Chimney,” he tells him.
Eddie heard of him from Buck— he told him his sister moved to town around the same time as Eddie did and he brought Chimney with him to help move her in and ever since they’ve been dating without realizing they’re dating. He can see that by the way he’s by her side, hand on her shoulder. Buck never said if they figured it out or not so he assumes they haven’t yet.
“You must be Eddie,” Maddie adds.
“You know who I am,” is what comes out of Eddie’s mouth.
She smiles softly. “Of course,” she tells him. “Buck talks about you and your son a lot. Hi,” she says, looking down at Chris who’s now beside him.
“Is Buck going to be okay?” he asks her.
“I think so,” the guy— Howie— answers. “Buck’s a strong guy, he’ll be alright, don’t you think?”
“Yeah, he’s the greatest firefighter ever! Well— dad will be too,” Chris says, making them chuckle.
“Thanks, buddy,” Eddie tells him. “Hey, why don’t you go sit with Abuela? I’ll be right there.”
“Okay,” he says and lets Abuela lead him to some free chairs, a bit away from where they stand.
“What happened?” he asks when it’s just them.
Maddie sighs, sitting back down, clearly worried, so he looks to Chimney who says, “I was coming into work as he was leaving— he had taken on some extra shifts the past two weeks and has been working a lot.”
That makes Eddie feel like shit.
“He looked tired and pretty down— I, uh— I don’t know what happened between you, he hasn’t spoken to any of us about it but he hasn’t really been himself,” Chimney tells him. “Anyway, he said he was fine when he left and then barely twenty minutes later the alarm goes off and we hear there was a car crash near our firehouse so we rushed over. We didn’t know Buck was involved until I got to his car— it didn’t even look like his with how wrecked it was—”
Maddie sobs gently in her chair.
“Sorry,” Chimney says, turning to look at her. He looks back at Eddie and says, “We rushed him here and he’s in surgery. His leg is broken and he has some internal bleeding. We haven’t heard anything in a while— we’re waiting for the doctor.”
Jesus.
Buck has been down and not talking to his family— the 118 or even to his sister— and taking extra shifts all because of what happened between them two weeks ago.
Eddie feels like shit. He’s got a huge knot in his stomach and he feels responsible for Buck being hurt.
“Hey,” Chimney says. “This isn’t your fault,” he tells him— like he can read his mind. “Buck should never have taken all those extra shifts— he knew better— plus this wasn’t his fault. The other driver sped through a yellow light changing red and Buck didn’t see the car coming when he started to go.”
“What happened to the other driver? Was anyone else hurt?” Eddie asks.
“The other driver is fine— figures,” Chimney says, rolling his eyes. He hates the fact that many drivers who cause accidents never end up being the ones hurt. “Athena— uh, Sargent Grant took that person to the station after they were checked out. No one else was badly injured.”
Eddie nods, he’s glad that person is being questioned by police about the accident and will be held accountable.
“Evan Buckley,” someone calls from behind him.
He turns and sees a doctor standing there. Maddie is up and beside him in an instant. “Yes, he’s my brother,” she tells the doctor.
“Your brother is out of surgery and is resting comfortably,” he tells her and he can see Maddie’s whole body wash over with relief. “The surgery went well and we got the internal bleeding to stop. He did break his leg so he has a cast on it now— he can’t go back to work for six weeks minimum. He also has a small fracture in his wrist but that should heal in two to three weeks— we put a brace on it. And he has some bruised ribs that will also heal quickly if he makes sure that he rests.”
“I’ll make sure of it,” She tells him. “When can I see him?”
“He’s still sleeping but you can go in if you’d like— he’s in room 54,” he says with a smile.
“Thank you, doctor,” she says before turning to hug Chimney.
“Told you he’d be okay,” he hears him say into her ear, hugging her tight.
She pulls back and looks over at Eddie, “You wanna come see him?”
“You guys go first,” he tells her. “I’ll go let Chris know he’s okay and we’ll go in when you’re done.”
“Okay,” she smiles, putting her hand on his arm and squeezing it. “He’ll be happy you came, don’t blame yourself, Eddie.”
He nods and watches as they go beyond the doors to go see Buck. Eddie goes over to Abuela and Chris and tells them that Buck’s hurt but he’s going to be okay.
“When can we go see him?” Chris asks, impatiently.
Eddie smiles at him, “He’s sleeping and his sister just went to see him so we’ll give them some time and when she’s done we can go see him, okay?”
“Okay,” Chris sighs.
Eddie was hoping to avoid Chris being hurt in all this because he knew how much Buck means to him but he didn’t realize Chris is already in too deep— loves Buck already so much. The only ones he ended up hurting were himself and Buck, when all of this heartache could have been avoided if Eddie just let himself trust Buck with his heart.
All of the times they’ve hung out— all of the times they’ve hooked up— Buck has always handled him with care and love. He’s always made him feel safe and secure. He’s never made him feel judged or unwanted.
His own insecurities and self-sabotaging nature kicked in and he listened to that instead of his heart telling him that Buck wouldn’t do that to him or Chris— that he’s overthinking everything and imagining the worst case scenario without giving Buck any credit or trust.
It’s about half an hour of waiting before Maddie and Chimney come back.
“He’s awake and wants to see you,” she says, looking at Chris. “Both of you,” she adds, smiling at him. “I’m gonna go get him some of his things from his place and I’ll be back. The doctor said they need to keep him overnight since they have more tests to run just in case.”
“Thanks,” he tells her.
“Let’s go, dad, Buck is waiting for us,” Chris says, already starting to walk away.
Maddie chuckles, “Go,” she says.
“Chris, wait—” he tells him before looking over at his grandmother, “Abuela, are you okay? I can drive you home soon.”
“I can bring you home,” Chimney tells her. “If you’d like.”
“Thank you, that would be great,” Abuela says, taking Chimney’s offered hand to stand.
“You sure?” Eddie asks him.
“Would be my pleasure,” he tells him. “Don’t worry, I’ll get her home safe. Go see your boy,” he winks. “Abuela, is it?”
“Isabel,” she tells him. “Why do they call you Chimney?”
He hears Chimney laugh and says, “That’s a long story, Isabel.”
Eddie makes his way over to Chris and they head through the doors to room 54. Eddie takes a deep breath before they step through the open door.
Seeing Buck lying there in a hospital bed— gown on, broken leg in a cast propped up, a brace on his wrist— makes him want to cry. He knows he’s okay because he’s grinning as they walk over to his bed.
“Hey,” he says softly. “You’re here.”
“Hi, Buck,” Chris says, walking over to him. “You look bad.”
Eddie smacks his arm gently. “You can’t say that,” he tells him.
“But he does,” Chris says, looking up at him. Buck laughs then winces, clutching at his ribs. “Are you okay?” he asks.
“I’m okay, buddy,” Buck tells him. “Just a little banged up but I’ll recover.”
“I missed you,” Chris says, echoing how Eddie feels too.
Buck smiles at him fondly. “Missed you too, kid,” he tells him.
Buck finally meets Eddie’s eye. Eddie tries to fight the tears that well up as he reaches onto the bed to take Buck’s hand in his. Buck takes his hand and squeezes it and a couple tears fall down Eddie’s cheeks.
“I’m okay,” Buck tells him softly, rubbing his thumb across Eddie’s hand.
He can see Chris move to sit in the chair by the bed as Eddie steps closer to the bed. “When I heard someone from the 118 was in a crash— my stomach dropped,” he tells him.
Buck gasps then, “Your ceremony was today, that’s why you’re in uniform, oh my God, Eddie, I’m so—”
“Don’t apologize,” Eddie interrupts. “It’s fine, everything’s all good. I’m just happy you’re going to be okay.”
Buck smiles at him softly. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around. I did exactly what you were afraid of and—” Buck says, shaking his head.
Eddie squeezes Buck’s hand, making him look at him. “I did this to us— not you, okay?” he says, making sure Buck hears him. “And I’m so sorry, Buck. I never wanted this to happen or for you to get hurt because of me.”
“This isn’t your fault—”
Eddie shakes his head, “Not the accident— just— everything else. Hurting you— making you think I don’t want this or that I don’t trust you but I do, Buck. I trust you and I want this— I want you— all of you. I love you and I don’t want to lose you ever again,” he tells him, finally confessing how he’s been feeling for too long now.
Chris squeals behind him so he turns to look at him cautiously. “Buck, you’re supposed to say it back now,” he says when they both don’t say anything.
Eddie chuckles and turns back to look at Buck who’s smiling, tears in his eyes. “I love you too, Eddie,” he says softly.
Chris cheers behind him making them both laugh. “You’re supposed to kiss now— right?” he asks, that goofy little smile on his face.
Eddie leans down and kisses Buck on the lips softly. They hear Chris say, “Eww,” behind them and giggle into the kiss before pulling away.
Eddie looks at Chris and asks, “So you’re okay with me and Buck being together?”
“Like he’s your boyfriend?” Chris asks, curiously.
“Yes,” Buck tells him. “I would be your dad’s boyfriend. Is that okay?”
Chris shrugs, “Yeah, dad is happy when you’re around so if being boyfriends means you’ll be around a lot then it’s okay.”
Eddie smiles at him, he really lucked out with having a kid as amazing as him. He leans down and kisses Chris on the head, “Mwahhh,” he says as he pulls back. “Love you, kid.”
“Love you too, dad,” he tells him. “You too, Buck.”
“C’mere,” Buck says, his hand reaching for him.
Chris gets down from the chair with Eddie’s help and goes over to Buck who hugs him as best he can in his condition. “Love you so much,” he tells him, kissing the top of his head.
If this weren’t such a depressing environment, Eddie would take a picture. He makes sure to remember to get a photo of them like this at home one day.
Maddie comes back with Buck’s things and Eddie tells her that he’s going to help with Buck’s recovery process, and move him into his apartment while he recovers— Chris is very excited about this.
He kisses Buck with a promise to be back tomorrow to take him home.
*
Buck’s recovery goes well apart from him constantly saying he wants to go back to work. He hates the fact that he can’t work but Eddie’s there to make him feel better until he can go back to work.
Eddie was informed a week after his ceremony and Buck’s accident which firehouse is getting him and he was shocked to say the least.
He’s excited to finally tell Buck that Bobby fought hard to get him on the 118 team. He doesn’t tell him, instead he decides to wait until he’s fully recovered and able to return or else he’ll be even more unbearable about wanting to return to work.
It’s been nice having Buck staying with them— makes him feel like they’re a family.
The six weeks are finally up and after dropping Chris off at school, he drives him and Buck to the 118.
Buck leans in and kisses him on the lips. “Thanks for the ride, babe,” he says, “I can’t wait to get my new jeep.”
“Oh I’m not just dropping you off,” he says, as he moves to get out of the car, coming around to open Bucks door for him.
“You’re such a liar!” Buck tells him when he sees Eddie’s grin. “This is where you’ve been working the past almost two months?”
Eddie shrugs, a smug smile on his face. Buck smacks his chest and he says, “You would have been so much worse if you knew we’d be working together when you got back.”
“Okay, fair,” Buck concedes.
They walk inside and the team is there yelling, “Welcome back, Buck!” A big banner behind them saying the same thing.
Buck grins, going to hug everyone individually and thanking them.
He hugs Bobby who says, “Good to have you back, kid.”
“Good to be back,” he says, pulling back. “Could have told me you hired my boyfriend though.”
“Sorry— was sworn to secrecy,” he says, hands up in surrender.
Eddie winks at him when he looks over at him. Buck rolls his eyes but he’s got a big smile on his face.
This is going to be fun.
*
Six months later…
“Be careful,” Chris says from his seat as he watches Eddie, Buck, Chimney, and Bobby bring Eddie’s couch into the living room.
They put it down and Eddie looks around the space of their new home.
After Buck was fully recovered, he moved back into his apartment across the hall but slept over at Eddie’s every night that he could. They’d alternate date nights from one place to the other but Eddie never felt comfortable sleeping at Buck’s— too many past one night stands have stayed there. Plus, Buck always said Eddie’s apartment was better because it was bigger but it felt like a home so he had no issue with Eddie never sleeping in his apartment.
Eddie had asked Buck about a month later if he wanted to move in with them into a house. He immediately said yes and they started looking at houses they could invest in. They quickly found one they liked in their price range and also close by the station and Christopher’s school.
They made the offer and it got accepted. Now they’re finally moving in since their leases at the apartment came to an end. They’ve got their entire 118 family helping them move and some of Eddie’s buddies from the fire academy who went to different firehouses.
When the kitchen table is finally in place, Chris sits there and plays games on his switch as Abuela and Maddie unpack all of Buck and Eddie’s kitchenware.
The move goes by quickly with all the help they get and in no time everything is inside their new home in their rightful place. Eddie orders a bunch of pizzas and breadsticks for everyone and they all eat together— some in the kitchen, some dining room, and some living room.
After they’re done eating and are all in the entryway of the house, Buck clears his throat and says, “Thank you again for helping us—” he puts his arm around Eddie’s waist, pulling him close to him, “— move into our home where we will have you over any time,” he chuckles.
Eddie smiles, looking up at his partner— the love of his life. “Yeah, thank you so much, it means a lot to us to have you all here, helping us settle into our home,” he adds.
“We love you,” Chris calls out from the sofa, making everyone laugh.
Everyone starts to leave and finally, it’s just the three of them sitting on the couch together. Eddie looks over at Buck and down at Chris in between them and he smiles— feeling so grateful for this moment.
As they make their way to bed for their first night in their new home, Eddie looks over at the front door and right by it there’s a sign that Maddie gifted them that says Buckley-Diaz Family with outlined versions of the three of them right underneath it.
Eddie finally has everything he wants— his son who is healthy, a partner who loves him, a job he loves, and a home that they can fill with joy, laughter, and so much love.