Archive of Our Own ^beta

“How is living with Viktor?” Caitlyn asks, swirling her beer in its pint glass. It’s a normal question. It doesn’t make sense how it makes Jayce’s hair stand on end. 

“Fine.” He shrugs, takes a sip of his own beer. “It’s good.” Because it is. He has no complaints.

“You adjusting okay?” 

He wants her to let it go. 

The thing is, Jayce feels weird about it. For starters, there’s the fact that he’s approaching thirty years old, has three post-secondary degrees, and still needs a roommate. Sure, the housing market is shit. Sure, there isn’t much money in being a PhD candidate. But it still stings — especially after having tasted the freedom of living on his own for several years. 

Caitlyn raises an eyebrow, like she can read his mind. 

“It’s fine. ” He insists. 

See, Jayce hasn’t exactly been doing great the past year and a half. Mainly because when his apartment blew up, along with most of his shit, he didn’t take it well. There’s nothing that can really prepare you for the shock of coming home to multiple fire trucks and a gaping hole where your living room used to be. There had been a gas leak, or something. Jayce was too shocked to remember the details.

It all happened so fast after that. Moving into his mom’s, feeling really weird for a while, going on sick leave, feeling really bad for a time and wondering if that would just be it for him. 

And then there was Viktor. Showing up out of fucking nowhere on his mom’s doorstep and asking where he’d been. Though Viktor was Jayce’s supervisor’s assistant, they barely knew each other. They would cross paths in the lab sometimes, talk shop, not much else. 

But Viktor had taken it upon himself to walk up to Jayce’s door and metaphorically shake him awake. He told him he should come back to work, that his ideas are important and deserve to be seen through. That he nosed his way through a bunch of his shit at his desk while he’d been gone, out of curiosity. It should have pissed Jayce off, but instead, it woke him up. 

Jayce went back to work after that, and didn’t lose his funding. That would be the first time Viktor kind of saved Jayce’s ass. The second, was when he offered him a place to stay. 

He had a spare room, his old roommate had moved out. His apartment was big and couldn’t justify one person living in it, but Viktor didn’t want to give it up. It all made sense. At this point, he and Jayce knew each other a little better, had talked more both in the lab and at the bar on a handful of post-work outings, and there was no disputing that they synergized well. They’d finish each other’s sentences, hash out ideas and solve problems easier and smoother than he’d ever experienced with another person. They made a good team. So Jayce figured they might make good roommates too. 

And they do. It’s just… 

Caitlyn rolls her eyes. “Spit it out.”

“Ugh,” Jayce runs a hand down his face. “Viktor’s always having sex.”

Cait nearly chokes on her beer. She coughs twice, her eyes widening. “Sorry, I just didn’t think you were going to say that.”

“Ugh.”

“I thought you were going to complain about, like… house stuff.”

Jayce regrets saying anything. 

“What do you mean, ‘always’? ”

“Okay not always. It’s just… a lot. More than… me.”

The silence is deafening. When Jayce looks up at Caitlyn, she’s more unimpressed than she’s ever looked. 

She blinks. “Are you trying to tell me you’re bothered your roommate is having more sex than you?”

“No. Well, maybe. I don’t know.” Wow, Jayce kind of hates this. 

There’s a beat. Cait softens a little, the initial shock and sarcasm wearing off. “How long has it been?” she asks. 

“Since before… y’know.” 

He knows she knows what he means. Since before the incident. He’s been too stressed putting his life back together since then to really get up to anything with anyone new. 

Cait frowns. “Is Viktor… unsympathetic?”

“No, no.” Jayce sighs. “I haven’t talked to him about it. He’s honestly being pretty normal, like… he doesn’t even do anything when I’m home. But he’s always giving me a heads up when he’s gonna have someone over, or gonna be out, and it just…”

He trails off. It bothers him, is what he wants to say. Sue him. He hasn’t had sex in a year and a half.

And the part about Viktor not doing anything while he’s home is mostly true. There have been a couple times Jayce forgot, or didn’t check his phone in time. He’d come home, enter the living room, and hear a distinct moan, or a grunt, or a rhythmic pounding, and he’d bolt out of the apartment like lightning. Jayce tries not to think about it. 

He can still hear it clear as day, though.

Caitlyn grabs their shared pitcher and fills up Jayce’s pint glass to the brim. Bless her.

They clink glasses after she tops up her own. Jayce clears his throat after taking a sip. “Thanks for that.”

“You looked like you needed it.”

Jayce sighs. The corner of his mouth twitches into a smile. “I know there isn’t much to say or do. Like, good for him, I guess.”

“Oh yeah, good for him,” Cait agrees, smiling back at him. She takes a sip, purses her lips, and sets her glass down. “You know, I quite like him. I mean I’ve only met him a few times, but he seems… like a good influence. I feel like if he were here, he’d tell you to just get over yourself and sleep with someone.”

Jayce laughs, shaking his head. “Is that what you’re telling me?”

“I think so,” Caitlyn nods. “Or just go on a date, or something. You know you’re attractive. You’ve had lots of success in the past. Women like you. If you tried, you could have a date set up days from now. And if that’s not appealing, then there’s no harm in waiting until you feel better.”

“Yeah. Fair.”

“And… try not to be pissed at Viktor. This has nothing to do with him. He’s just living his life.”

“Yeah I know,” Jayce sighs. He takes another hefty sip of his beer. “It’s all good. I think I’m good. Thanks for listening.”

They don’t dwell on it. Soon, they’re done with their second pitcher, and Caitlyn is itching to go home and hang out with Vi. 

The thing is, it’s the first Friday Jayce has been able to fully relax in a while. Most of his colleagues have gone down to the US for Thanksgiving, and the rest of them don’t really have anything to do for the next several days. He’s barely been living with Viktor for two months, and most of their time since has been consumed by the usual semester’s worth of business. It’s the first time he can actually do… something with his evening. He’s already a little tipsy. It would be a waste to just spend the night alone.

Maybe he should ask Viktor if he’s doing anything. Sometimes he’s gone on Fridays, sometimes he’s not. To be fair, Jayce doesn’t actually know where he goes when he disappears, or whether he’s having sex. Unless he tells Jayce he won’t be sleeping at home. It’s considerate, sure. It also makes Jayce want to eat glass. 

But why? Why does Jayce hate it so much? God , he should really just get laid. 

He pulls out his phone on the bus and downloads Hinge without thinking about it too hard. He also sends Viktor a text. 

>are you home

Viktor’s typing right away. It takes him a few false starts and stops to actually send his message. 

> yes

Jayce blinks. That’s it? That took a minute?

>door unlocked maybe

He furrows his brow. Viktor’s always a bit of a weird texter, but he’s being weirder than usual. 

>do you want to hang out?

>ok

Alright. Jayce doesn’t really know what to do with that. He figures he shouldn’t read into it. A yes is a yes. 

There’s snow falling and actually staying on the ground. Winter’s informal start. Cuffing season , Jayce muses. Maybe Caitlyn’s right. He knows how to talk to women. He knows how to go on dates, get laid, etcetera. He’s just had a rough go of things the past while. Nothing will happen if he doesn’t put himself out there. 

Upon getting off the bus, Jayce notices how tipsy he actually is. It’s not intense, but the world is definitely swaying a little more than usual. 

He opens the unlocked front door, taking in the now-familiar aroma of Viktor’s medical weed, albeit more pungent than usual, along with jarring, extremely aggressive metal music. That’s… interesting. 

“Viktor?” Jayce opens their front door and takes off his shoes. Unsurprisingly, he gets no response. There’s no way either of them could hear anything right now. 

The air in the living room is heavy with weed smoke. The coffee table is scattered with various paraphernalia, including a glass pipe, grinder, bus pass, and a container of weed with too high a THC content to be purely medical. Viktor’s laptop is hooked up to the sound system and a song called ‘Shitbusters’ is halfway through playing. Jayce takes it upon himself to pause it and let his roommate know he’s home. 

He also kind of needs to hear himself think. In all the times he’s come home since moving in, it’s never been like this.

“Hello!” he hears from the kitchen. When he reaches it, he finds Viktor lying down on the floor, looking at him upside down. 

“I didn’t think you would come home so soon,” Viktor says casually, as if that explains anything. 

His hair is splayed out around him on the tile floor. He’s wearing a band t-shirt and black zip hoodie on top, and only black boxers on the bottom. 

And Jayce, despite himself, can’t help but notice he’s hung. 

“Jayce?”

“Uh,” Jayce stammers, his eyes darting everywhere. “What’s up?”

“My back was hurting.” Viktor replies casually. “I take it you didn’t like the Gutalax?”

“The what?”

“The music. Help me up.” 

He reaches with one hand, and Jayce needs to stand over him and grip his forearm to pull him up. Even though there’s a hoodie between them, Jayce feels like his hand is burning. 

Viktor grabs his cane from where it’s leaning against the counter, steadying himself. “So, you wish to hang out?”

“Yeah, uh,” Jayce runs a hand through his hair. “What are you… what have you been up to?”

“What does it look like?” Viktor replies, with a slight twitch at the corner of his mouth. Now, face to face, Jayce notices his eyes are a little heavily-lidded and bloodshot. “I had some of my Friday weed and listened to Gutalax. I also ate a sandwich. And then I laid down on the floor. What’s ‘up’ with you?”

He starts moving toward the living room, and Jayce follows him as if tugged by a string. All of this is making him feel a number of things he can’t really put into coherent thoughts. 

For starters, Jayce has never really witnessed Viktor when he’s genuinely letting loose. The past couple months have been mostly taken over by work, and Viktor would spend a lot of his spare time out. He’s never seen him smoke his ‘Friday weed’, never seen him play any kind of music, let alone whatever that was, and never seen him in his underwear. There’s just a lot going on. 

Viktor plops himself down on the couch and sighs, and Jayce realizes he never answered his question. But as he opens his mouth, Viktor holds up a hand. 

“Oh, I’m sorry but could you bring me some pants and socks? I’m in pain today. Moving is hard.”

“For sure,” Jayce says, nodding. He turns toward Viktor’s room, trying not to think about how his underwear really emphasized everything. He’d asked Viktor once about the scars on his arm and leg, and Viktor said they were from bottom surgery, and that was that. Jayce moved on, it wasn’t his business. He feels weird for… being fixated all of a sudden. 

The size is just… impressive . He’s rivaling Jayce, and on a much smaller frame no less. 

This is normal, Jayce tells himself. This is what having roommates is like. You end up knowing strange, intimate details about one another. No big deal. 

Viktor’s room is a little minimalist and slightly messy, but in a charming kind of way. There are two books and a tablet on his bed next to his ergonomic pillow, glasses on his bedside table next to a half-drunk cup of black tea, and the chalkboard on his wall is full of work notes. It’s unique, like a fingerprint. For some reason, Jayce wishes he could just stay in here. 

Instead, he spots the hamper of unfolded clean laundry and grabs the first pair of sweatpants and socks he can find — grey and covered in cats, respectively. He grabs Viktor’s glasses too on the way out, just in case. 

“Here,” he says, handing everything to his roommate. Viktor offers him a grateful nod. “I’m just gonna change too.”

He kind of feels like jumping out of his skin. It’s probably from wearing the same t-shirt, sweater and pants all day. He throws off his sweater and t-shirt and rummages in his drawers for the navy tank top that makes his arms and shoulders look really big. He throws off his wool pants for a pair of brown sweats, and takes a second to try and straighten his hair out in the mirror. He’s not sure why. He’s not sure why he feels nervous, either. It must be the novelty of it all. 

He and Viktor haven’t actually done this. Like, hung out on the couch and shot the shit, tipsy and stoned respectively. 

It’s just Viktor, he reminds himself. We’ve had a thousand conversations at this point.  

Viktor’s wearing his sweats, cat socks and glasses when Jayce enters the room, looking up at him with anticipation while reloading his pipe. He offers a small smile. “Do you want to join me?”

He looks… good. 

“Hell yeah,” Jayce replies, hoping he sounds normal. 

He sits down on the opposite end of the couch. Viktor grabs his lighter and settles in, lounging against the armrest with one leg on the couch cushions. He looks so blissfully aware of Jayce’s confusing inner turmoil. 

“I’m going to try again,” Viktor says, making eye contact with him. “What have you been up to?”

“Just had a couple pitchers with Cait after work.” 

Viktor lights the weed in his pipe and inhales long and soft, his lips gently resting against it. He pulls back and inhales further, sharply this time, before exhaling smoke and blinking a few times. “How is she?” he asks, his voice a little gravely.

“Good,” Jayce shrugs. “Normal. She’s going to be a TA for an undergrad class next semester.”

Viktor chuckles, wheezing slightly. “Poor girl. Best of luck to her.”

He leans over into the space between them and hands Jayce the pipe and lighter. When their hands brush on a near-microscopic level, Jayce’s hairs stand on end. 

He takes a drag, long and harder than anticipated and finds himself coughing into his forearm. Sue him, he’s out of practice. This isn’t something he’s done regularly for a while. Viktor laughs at him, but it’s warm. Impossible to take offense to. Jayce finds himself laughing too. 

“Gently,” Viktor tells him, sitting up. “Like this.”

He takes the pipe in his hands and brings it to his lips. They're so much closer now. Jayce is transfixed. Viktor's lips are slightly chapped and wet with spit. They purse around the end of the pipe and suck, and Jayce can't help but think —

Oh. Oh god.

“I need to go,” he ends up saying. Wow. He feels so fucking stupid. 

He doesn't look at Viktor as he beelines for the bathroom, locking the door behind him as if being chased. He looks in the mirror, eyes wide and already a little bloodshot from the one hit. His mind is spinning. 

He's attracted to Viktor. It's so obvious. How could he be so dumb?

It's why he fucking hates knowing Viktor's getting laid. 

God. Jayce always kind of had an inkling he might not be straight. But he'd just never found himself with a script for it, nor with enough mental energy to allow himself to be curious. He'd also never been directly face to face with a man he knew he wanted . 

This is his fucking roommate though. Roommate and colleague and friend. It's a bad idea. 

“Be chill,” he tells himself in the mirror. He takes a deep breath, steadying himself. Surprisingly, it helps. He reminds himself he's felt attraction towards people who were off limits before, and it passed. This probably just feels intense because he'd been repressing it. 

He also hasn't gotten laid in ages. It's probably making him a little crazy. At least he's self aware now. It'll be easier to deal with. 

He splashes some water on his face and flushes the toilet to make it seem like he was doing something. 

When he returns to the living room, Viktor's sitting up on the couch, looking worried. 

“I'm okay,” Jayce says. “Sometimes… weed makes me need to shit.”

Okay why did he say that.

Thankfully, Viktor laughs. He relaxes, splaying himself back on the couch again. “I understand. Do you want more, or no?”

“I do,” Jayce replies, easy. 

He smiles. It's already feeling a bit easier to exist in his skin, in his apartment. This is Viktor. His friend, colleague and roommate. They know each other. It's all good. 

He takes Viktor's pipe again and tries not to inhale like a vacuum this time. It helps. The smoke burns a little bit as it moves down his throat, and he holds it for a moment before exhaling. He feels a slight head rush. 

“Nice. Thanks, Viktor.”

“Thank you for joining me,” Viktor replies, a smile ghosting on his face. “Do you want to watch videos about reptiles?

Oh hell yeah. Jayce loves reptiles. 

“Absolutely.” He grabs the TV remote. 

. . .

“Some lizards are covered in horns, and defend themselves by squirting blood from their eyes.”

“I wish,” Viktor sighs.

They’re only a handful of minutes into the documentary, and Jayce is already distracted. Viktor’s lying on the couch facing Jayce, his legs spread apart resting on the floor and couch respectively. He has one hand resting over his head and the other lying on his middle, occasionally fidgeting with the hem of his sweats. At some point, his shirt rides up slightly, and a tiny sliver of pale skin becomes visible. Jayce can see part of a mole and a light dusting of hair. 

It’s like he doesn’t have control over his own eyes, no matter where he tries to put them 

“The thorny devil. He collects dew on his skin and channels it to his mouth. He might look terrifying, but he’s only 20 centimetres long.”

“I want one,” Viktor points out. 

He shifts in his seat, and suddenly his bulge is visible again. Jayce’s breath hitches in his throat. His eyes dart away, but end up landing on his face. His high cheekbones, his mouth, his hair hanging and brushing against his glasses. His eyes, turning to look at Jayce, bright gold—

“Jayce?”

He blinks, taking in Viktor’s increasingly puzzled expression.

“Huh?”

“Are you okay? You haven’t said anything in a while.”

“I’m… just stoned,” Jayce says, his mouth dry. It sounds unconvincing. “I get quiet.”

Viktor purses his lip and leans his head back on the armrest. “If something’s bothering you, you can talk to me.” He shrugs. “If not, we can keep watching the repti—”

“Uh yeah. There's something,” Jayce ends up saying. Even though he’s not sure where he’s going with this. 

“Oh? Okay.”

Viktor pauses the documentary and looks at him, expectantly. 

“I think I’m bi.”

He raises his eyebrows, blinks a couple times, before shifting on the couch to fully face Jayce. 

“I just… wanted to tell you, I guess.”

Viktor nods. He looks thoughtful. “Thank you for telling me. Good job on figuring yourself out.” He smiles. 

It sends warmth down Jayce’s spine. He hadn’t woken up this morning expecting anything like this to happen today. 

“I think I’ve known for a long time,” he adds. “Just never… I don’t know.”

Viktor exhales a small laugh. “It can take a while to put the pieces together. Proud of you, my friend.”

My friend.

“Thanks,” Jayce says, though his smile feels hollow. Not an option, then.

That’s fine. 

He turns the reptile documentary back on.

. . .

“The young snake is fighting to stay alive, against all odds. It’s a very toxic way of life.”

Viktor hasn’t been commenting on the video as much. Jayce has been trying to pay attention, but he’s too keenly aware of their bodies facing one another on the couch. 

At some point, Viktor shifts and his foot brushes against Jayce’s. They’re touching for only a few seconds, but it feels like burning. 

There was one time, before they really knew one another, where Viktor broke him into the lab. He’d left his soldering iron out and the building was closed for Easter weekend. Jayce knew he could get into deep shit for it, not to mention the fire risks. He called building security, and when that didn’t work, he called Viktor. It was a risk, but it’d be safer than calling Heimdedinger himself. 

He remembers how Viktor showed up with a lockpick, broke them in, and then walked up to the soldering iron, still plugged in at Jayce’s workbench. Jayce stood there, unsure if Viktor was going to chew him out, threaten to tell his supervisor, or worse. 

Viktor just picked up the iron, turned it on — with no protective gear —  and watched smoke rise from its tip. “Careful, Jayce,” he’d said, looking him in the eye.

And then he had the audacity to smirk before unplugging it and handing it over. 

Jayce hadn’t thought about that moment in a long time. But he remembers feeling equally terrified and awestruck. Like Viktor was dangerous, somehow. Jayce feared him. He’s not entirely sure why. Over time, that fear got drowned out by respect and admiration — but it never really went away. 

“Our inland taipan has lost his race of life.”

One thing Jayce is certain of is that Viktor doesn’t play it safe. He’s smart, sure. His risks are calculated. But he takes them nonetheless. 

Jayce inches his foot towards Viktor’s and brushes against it, holding it there. 

Viktor doesn’t do anything, at first. He doesn’t seem to notice. Jayce looks over at him and moves his foot up to Viktor’s ankle. 

This gets his attention. 

Jayce’s head is swimming. He’s definitely kind of crossfaded, but it’s making him feel a little braver than usual. He’s still terrified, obviously. Jayce is ready to take no for an answer. But the question is going to eat at him until there’s nothing left. Unless he does something about it. 

Viktor looks at him, perplexed. His mouth is parted, and Jayce stares at the small gap in his teeth. He looks up, holding eye contact. 

“... What—”

“I need to tell you something,” Jayce starts. He can’t hear anything over his heartbeat in his ears. “I hate it when you bring people over. I hate it when you don’t come home.”

Viktor blinks, taken aback. His mouth opens slightly. 

“I hate it because I wanna be the one fucking you.”

It’s like there’s a hundred pound weight on his chest. 

“If you don’t want to, I’ll never bring it up again. But I just had to say it.”

The silence is deafening. Viktor’s expression is unreadable. Jayce feels like he’s in a sauna. 

Viktor’s brow twitches. “What else do you want?” he asks. There’s a tiny, barely visible curl at the corner of his mouth. 

“I’d love to suck your dick too.”

Viktor just stares daggers at him. He relaxes slightly, sinks into the couch a bit more, and grabs himself in his sweats. He makes a stifled noise, blinking. It gives Jayce a total head rush. 

“On your knees,” Viktor sighs. Jayce slinks off the couch in an instant. He smacks the remote a couple times until the TV shuts up. 

They’re lit by the faint glow of one, dim tableside lamp. Jayce feels his cock straining against the fabric of his boxer briefs as he places himself between Viktor’s legs, face to face with Viktor’s now-hard cock. It’s standing up at an angle under his sweats and looks incredibly big against Viktor’s small frame. He’s thick , too. Jayce runs his hands up the inside of Viktor’s thighs and stops at his groin, his mouth watering as he takes in the length in front of him. 

“It’s ah , most sensitive on the head and the base,” Viktor tells him, his voice all gravely again, his head sunk into the pillow behind him. He inches his hips forward.  “Don’t mind the scars. They are fine to touch.”

Jayce can’t believe this is actually happening. It’s moving quicker than he can actually process, but he has no intention of slowing down. 

He moves a hand onto Viktor’s cock. It’s hard under his fingertips, only a couple pieces of fabric between them. There’s a small, wet spot where the tip is. Jayce can feel dampness gathering at his own tip where it’s straining between his legs. 

“This could be a bad idea,” he says. The thought only turns him on. 

Viktor huffs.  “So?”

Jayce puts his head between his legs and nuzzles his cock, smells his groin, and it’s intoxicating . It’s a distinct smell, so different from the women he’s been with. He feels his balls with one hand, running his lips along the length of his dick. Viktor groans. 

He looks up at him. His face is flushed, mouth parted, body limp. One hand is gripping the couch, and the other is twitching, resting on his stomach. His pinky finger gently brushes the hair on his happy trail, barely visible where his t-shirt rode up. 

“You… look good like this,” Viktor tells him. “I’ve wanted to see you like this.”

It makes Jayce’s heart beat faster. 

“Yeah?” He noses his cock again.

“Sometimes…” Viktor moans. “I’d think of you. While they were fucking me.”

Jayce’s cock is going to explode. 

“Fuck off,”   he grits out, before pulling Viktor’s pants and underwear off in one move. Viktor stifles a laugh.

His cock bobs out and nearly hits Jayce in the face. He grabs it and squeezes slightly at the base, making Viktor cant his hips and groan. Jayce is keenly aware that this is his first time holding another man’s cock.

“I’ve never done this before,” he says, unable to help it. Viktor reaches for his jaw and runs his thumb along his mouth, holding eye contact with him. He slips his thumb between Jayce’s lips. Jayce licks it on instinct, swirling his tongue around it and sucking. The feeling of having part of Viktor inside him has his eyes fluttering back in his head. 

“You will do great,” Viktor reassures him. He takes his thumb out of his mouth and runs his hand through Jayce’s hair, scratching lightly at his scalp. He sees stars. 

He can’t help it any longer. 

Jayce guides Viktor’s cock into his mouth, letting his tongue run down the base of it. It’s solid and heavy in his mouth. A small dribble of fluid lands on his tongue and he sucks it, swallows it, and loses his entire mind. 

He focuses on the head, sucking and licking it and bobbing his head while using his hand to stroke Viktor’s shaft, making sure to squeeze firm at the base. His lips stretch to accommodate its thickness. He listens for when Viktor gets especially loud, and adapts what he does accordingly. 

He loves it. Jayce loves feeling like a cock slut. He has no clue how he’d waited so long to do this. He’s obsessed with hearing and seeing Viktor come undone. He’ll never get the image of him panting, sighing, squirming out of his mind. He wants to consume him. 

“HAH, Jayce—”

“Mmmpph—”

“FUCK, I’m going to—”

Viktor bucks into him, yelling. He shouts as more fluid dribbles out of him onto the back of Jayce’s tongue. He feels slick and spit run down his chin. He tightens his hold on Viktor’s cock, savouring as Viktor rides out his orgasm in Jayce’s mouth. 

When he slows down, Jayce pulls off him  in a long, slow motion. There's a small strip of spit attaching his mouth to Viktor’s cock when they separate. Viktor’s panting, his chest heaving, looking like he’s dying. But he comes to eventually and opens his eyes, looking down at Jayce. 

“Very good,” he sighs. The praise lights Jayce on fire. Viktor grabs him by his shirt, tosses his glasses aside with a clatter, and pulls him up for a kiss. 

It's intense. Of course Viktor would be an intense kisser. Jayce's mouth is still sore and still wet from the head, and Viktor sucks and nips his lower lip. Their tongues swirl around each other, every movement deeper than the last. Jayce moves up onto the couch and slots himself between Viktor's legs. 

I sucked Viktor off and now I'm kissing him, a voice at the back of Jayce's mind rambles. Holy shit. He came in my mouth.

Their dicks grind together, Viktor's unclothed against Jayce's still in his sweats. The friction is delicious, but not enough. 

Their lips part with a smack, and Viktor groans into his mouth.

“Take me to bed so I can suck you.”

Jayce gets up, his own hard, leaking cock now at the same level as Viktor’s face. His roommate stares daggers at it and licks his lip. Jayce grabs him under each thigh and hoists him up to carry him to his room. 

Viktor holds onto him for dear life, like he’s about to drop him. Like he wants to feel as much of his body as he can. He sucks on Jayce’s jaw as Jayce sets him down on the bed. 

“I’m going to sit,” Viktor says. He scoots up into a leaning seated position against his foam pillow. “You’re going to put that cock in my mouth.”

“Fuck,” Jayce sputters. He falls to his knees on the bed as he and Viktor both tug at his sweats and release his cock, letting it bob between them. Viktor reaches for it, taking it in one hand with his long, pale fingers and guides it toward his mouth. 

Holy shit. Jayce rubs the head of his dick against Viktor’s lips, wetting the tip with his spit. Viktor stares up at him with this insane look in his bloodshot eyes and opens his mouth slightly to plant a kiss on the head. 

“Fuck, Viktor—” Jayce inhales sharply. “You look so good like this.” 

Viktor sticks his tongue out and flattens it on the underside or Jayce's head, still holding eye contact with him. Jayce is flooded with a million images of what he'd look like painted in come. 

God, they'll never be able to look at each other the same way again. There was a line somewhere and it's miles behind them now. It’s almost anxiety-inducing, but everything feels too good for Jayce to give a shit. 

Viktor opens up and sucks Jayce's head into his mouth. He closes his eyes and doesn't stop, inching further and swallowing him down his throat. 

It's like Jayce's nerve endings are on fire. He can't remember ever feeling so sensitive during sex. The likely combination of weed, alcohol and long-term celibacy, not to mention Viktor's undeniable skill, are coalescing into what is no doubt the best head of Jayce's life. 

“Hoooly fuck,” he groans as Viktor tongues at his frenulum, before gripping his shaft and stuffing Jayce back down his throat. Jayce is almost sure he can see his own cock moving inside Viktor's neck, but he also might just be really stoned. 

Viktor grabs onto his hip and takes him as far down as he can, his lips burying themselves in Jayce's pubic hair. He pulls off after a moment, gasping, spit covering his mouth and Jayce's cock. He takes a moment to catch his breath before looking back up at Jayce, lips swollen, eyes red and teary. 

It’s doing things to Jayce’s brain. He’s short circuiting.

“...What do you want?” Viktor asks him, his voice like gravel. 

Jayce inhales sharply. “I wanna fuck your throat. And come on your face.” 

Viktor blinks, his eyes heavy. And then has the audacity to smile. “If I’d known you were into this, I wouldn’t have had anyone else over.”

It makes Jayce’s heart beat twice as fast with an odd mix of affection and anger. He doesn’t really know what to say, so he puts his dick back in Viktor’s mouth. Hearing him talk is making Jayce feel stuff he’d need a therapist to process. 

His hips cant forward involuntarily at the feel of it. Viktor’s jaw slacks as he throats him, and Jayce makes sure to look him in the eye and make sure everything’s okay before he starts. Viktor nods, his mouth stretched around Jayce’s cock, and groans as he begins thrusting into him. 

He starts to fuck Viktor’s throat in earnest. Jayce feels high on the stifled choking sounds Viktor’s making and completely loses himself in it — the feel of his tongue against the base of his cock, the wetness, the warmth, the way he gets louder when Jayce tugs his hair at the root. It isn’t long before he feels himself tipping over the edge. 

Jayce pulls out and holds Viktor’s head in place as he strokes his cock and comes with a loud moan, his come splattering all over Viktor’s face, and a bit on his hair. Viktor licks where it landed on his lip and swallows — god, he looks so fucking beautiful. 

His chest heaving, Jayce lets his arms drop to his sides and collapses onto his back, cushioned by the bed. Viktor’s bed. He closes his eyes and tries to stop his mind from spinning. Everything is slowly dawning on him as the events since they were on the couch watching reptile videos play through his mind, culminating in his come all over Viktor’s face. 

Jayce is so fucked. 

“Are you freaking out?” Viktor asks, pulling him away from his thoughts. His tone is all too curious and sincere. When Jayce looks over at him, he’s wiping come off his face with a towel, glancing at him with a raised eyebrow. 

“A little,” Jayce admits, suddenly self-conscious that his flaccid dick is still out. He tucks it away. 

Viktor moves to lie next to him, face to face. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t think I can right now.” 

He looks at Viktor. He’d rarely seen his face up close like this before today. Even though he feels kind of insane right now, Jayce is starting to make sense of a lot of wordless, unspoken feelings he’s had for the past several years of his life. 

They’d always been drifting closer together. There was always something pulling them toward one another. It was slow and gradual, enough that he barely noticed it happening. But the collision was inevitable. 

Viktor was the only person who could get him out of the dark place he was in months ago. The only person with whom he’d consider living with. The only person he ever wants to talk to when they’re in the same room. The only person he wants to be with on a cold, snowy, Friday night. 

Viktor’s eyes are calculating. There’s a touch of concern in his expression, but it doesn’t feel urgent. Like he’s waiting to see what Jayce will say or do. Jayce takes him in — the golden eyes, the two artfully placed moles that shouldn’t even be real, the little gap in his front teeth. 

Sure, this could all be a giant mistake. Their lives are already so entwined — if things were to turn South, it could be bad . But Jayce doesn’t really feel like he has control over what happens, anymore. 

He kisses Viktor. 

It's less hungry than before — more soft, gentle, almost like a question. Viktor waits a few moments before kissing him back. Jayce puts a hand on Viktor's neck and jaw, thumbs his face, and sinks into it. 

It feels good to be tasting him again, smelling him again. He tries to convey what he can't yet with words — that he wants Viktor to turn his life upside down. He wants to be changed by him. 

Every time one of them escalates, the other follows. Jayce rolls on top of Viktor, holds one of his wrists down over his head and licks into his mouth. They moan in tandem as Jayce sinks deeper into him, slotting their legs together.

Their clothes come off. It takes a few minutes because Jayce wants to savour it. He starts with his own top, then Viktor's, then his own pants and boxers until Viktor's socks are the only things left. He leaves them on, knowing sometimes Viktor gets cold feet. 

He sits on his haunches, taking Viktor in beneath him. He runs his hands up his stomach and chest, feeling him quiver as his breath hitches. His skin is so pale, one big mole near his belly button and several small ones splattered everywhere else. He leans down and kisses them, one by one. 

Viktor is breathing heavy, but otherwise quiet. It's a slightly jarring transition from how he was before. When Jayce looks up at him, his brow is knit with confusion. 

“Everything okay?” Jayce asks. 

Viktor's reddening, down to his chest. He looks uncomfortable. Jayce moves to take his hands off of him, suddenly afraid he's being too much — but Viktor interrupts it, reaching for his wrist and holding it. 

“No, it’s just... No one touches me like this. Usually.”

Jayce blinks. His heart sinks. That’s just… unacceptable.

He puts his hands on Viktor’s thighs. “Do you want me to keep —”

“ Yes .”

He doesn’t need to ask twice. Jayce runs his hands along the inside of Viktor’s legs, tracing the dusting of hair and the slight softness under his skin. He massages him, gently, knowing today was one of his painful days. He grabs a pillow and lifts Viktor up by the legs to place it underneath his ass and lower back. 

Maybe it is a little much. But Jayce doesn’t really know how not to be tender when naked with someone for the first time. He doesn’t know how Viktor does it — the whole ‘hookup’ thing. Sleeping with people like it’s a hobby. It’s not something Jayce has ever been good at. 

He kisses down Viktor’s inner thighs and looks up at him. He kisses closer to Viktor’s hole, and Viktor nods, moving his hips forward. Jayce noses under his balls, adoring the slight roughness of his hair and the softness of his skin. He inhales his scent, and starts rimming him in earnest. 

Viktor moans, and it’s like a damn breaks. He’s loud again, sighing and groaning and letting out these ‘hhaaah—” s that Jayce is growing more and more obsessed with by the minute. He’s spreading his legs wide, one hand grabbing at Jayce’s bicep and the other digging into the sheets. Jayce ruts against the bed, chasing any friction he can. 

He asks Viktor where his lube is. It’s on the bedside table. Jayce spreads some onto his hand and swirls a finger around Viktor’s ass, watching in awe as one, two of his fingers slide inside. Viktor’s eyes roll back in his head as his hole tightens and his grip on the sheets goes limp for a moment, before tightening twice as hard as before. The hand on Jayce’s bicep constricts too, no doubt leaving bruises in its wake. 

Jayce fucks into him with his fingers, curving them upward. Viktor’s nearly bouncing on him, looking debauched and wrecked and so fucking incredible. There are strands of hair clinging to his forehead as he gasps, his mouth seemingly unable to close now. It’s driving Jayce to lunacy. 

“Jayce —” Viktor sighs. “Ff-fuck me.” 

It’s like an electric pulse to his dick. Jayce pulls his fingers out and slickens his cock, stroking it as his eyes flit between Viktor’s stretched hole and ruined expression. God, he can’t believe he’s doing this. 

It’s going to destroy Jayce. He knows it. He can feel it in his bones. He’s going to be hopeless after this. Obsessed. He won’t be able to contain himself. Whoever he was this morning is a distant memory. Whatever happens in the days and weeks to come, Jayce knows he’s on his way to becoming something else entirely. 

It’s scaring him, but not enough to stop. His morbid curiosity is getting the better of him. 

He brushes his cock against Viktor’s hole and groans, losing his breath. He’s so wet, so tight. Viktor pulls his legs up and reaches down to spread his cheeks apart, staring at Jayce in the eye with the hungriest look on his face. Jayce can’t wait any longer. He pushes his cock inside him and gasps, feeling the walls of his hole close around his dick and pull him in. 

It’s so warm, so tight. “Fffuck,” he sighs, steadying himself with a hand on Viktor’s torso and the other around his thigh. Jayce’s hands cover so much space on his small frame. He fucks into him, watching as Viktor throws his head back and wails, his entire body tensing and relaxing one moment to the next. 

Jayce wishes it could last forever. He doesn’t care about anything else anymore. The room is filled with the slick, wet sounds of his cock sliding in and out of Viktor, their flesh slapping together, their moans and sighs in tandem. There’s something stirring deep inside Jayce and before he knows it, he’s losing himself entirely. 

“Vict — holy shit. I’m coming—”

Viktor grabs his own cock at the base and squeezes before letting out a loud, choked sob. They ride out their orgasms in tandem with erratic thrusts and muffled cries. 

Jayce collapses onto Viktor and kisses him, clumsily. He mostly just gets the corner of his mouth. Everything’s spinning again and doesn’t fully feel real. 

The last thing he feels is a small, gentle kiss on his forehead before fully passing out. 

. . .

The first things Jayce notices when he wakes up are a mild headache and parched throat. The second thing is that his entire body is entangled with Viktor’s, from his arms down to his feet. 

They must have slept like this all night. Jayce vaguely recalls falling asleep while still inside Viktor — his roommate, colleague, and friend. They’re probably not just those things anymore, though. He has no idea what they are. 

It should scare him, but it’s hard to feel scared while they’re like this — while Viktor’s arms and legs are around him, while his face is in Jayce’s chest. 

Viktor stirs, he blinks his eyes open and Jayce reluctantly lets go of him, giving him space. Jayce suddenly doesn’t know what to do with himself. He mumbles something about needing water and gets out of bed — Viktor’s bed, and heads to the kitchen to fill up a jar with water. 

He’s naked. There’s dried come on his dick and his lower back and knees are sore. The reality of things is hitting him slowly, like gears knocking into place. God , they’re gonna need to talk about this.

He goes to the bathroom, realizing it’s been ages. Jayce washes himself up and stares at himself in the mirror, taking in the fingerprint-sized bruises on his bicep, the hickey on his jaw, the fact that he is literally walking around their apartment fully naked, like that’s something they can just do now. He feels self-conscious, all of a sudden, and decides to head to his own room to make himself at least half decent. 

The bathroom door closes, distantly. Viktor’s up, then. Jayce throws on a big t-shirt and some boxers and heads to the kitchen to run the coffee machine. He leans against the counter, staring daggers at the machine as it brews, feeling increasingly stressed as the seconds tick by. 

There are footsteps behind him. He turns around, and Viktor is just standing there — his hair still messed up, wearing a hoodie and boxers and leaning on his cane. He looks unsure of himself — Jayce has never seen him look remotely like this before. He’s usually so confident, so self-assured, like nothing can rattle him. Jayce never thought he’d see him like this.

“Hi,” Jayce says. He’s not sure what to lead with. 

“What was that?” Viktor asks him. It feels like a punch in the gut. Guess they’re not beating around any bushes. 

“What?”

“Why did you sleep with me, and then leave me as soon as you woke up?”

Oh.

“I expect that from others,” Viktor continues. “I… hadn’t expected it from y—”

Jayce is beelining for him and pulls him into a hug before he can finish. He squeezes Viktor around his middle, burying his head in the crook of his neck and sighing. 

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I… I thought you might need space.”

“Maybe you needed space,” Viktor retorts. There’s a warmth to it, though. 

“Maybe I did.” Jayce pulls back and places his hands on Viktor’s shoulders. He catches his gaze and holds it, offering him a slight smile. “I’m… not gonna lie, I feel kind of clumsy. I don’t know what I’m doing. I haven’t uh, been with anyone since the thing happened. At my old place.”

Viktor’s eyes widen. 

“I was acting on impulse, last night,” Jayce continues. “I won’t lie about that either. I hadn’t thought anything through. But what I did realize was that I’m crazy about you. I didn’t notice it for a long time, but when we were on the couch last night it hit me.” 

He takes Viktor’s hands in his and holds them, squeezing slightly. Viktor doesn’t let go of his gaze. 

“I know this is all probably… complicated and risky. But last night was amazing , Viktor. I want more of it. I won’t be able to live with myself if I don’t shoot my shot.”

He notices Viktor soften at that. 

“Can I take you to dinner?” Jayce asks him, almost pleading. “Tonight?”

“Dinner?” Viktor repeats. He smiles, almost bewildered. “You’re asking me on a date?”

“I am.” 

The coffee machine beeps. They ignore it. 

“Okay,” Viktor replies. He smiles a little wider.  “Choose the place wisely, Jayce. I’m picky.”

“I know,” Jayce laughs. He puts a hand on Viktor’s jaw and thumbs his cheek, taking in the fact that he’s the reason Viktor’s smiling right now. “Gimme a few hours to figure it out.”

“Sounds good. I’m eh, looking forward to it.”

It’s all a little inelegant — they’re not used to whatever this is, yet. But Jayce has a good feeling about it. It’s a terrifying feeling, but it’s good nonetheless. 

They kiss each other, slow and soft. It feels electric, like the first time. Whatever they’re going to turn into, Jayce is all too eager to find out.