Chapter Text
From the moment Shoto could remember he knew one thing for sure. He wasn't wanted in his family. His older brother made him painfully aware of this fact. He could see the resentment in his mothers eyes whenever she looked at him. He knew he wasn't welcomed. But he didnt care. He went day by day and month by month growing. He learned to walk, and talk until the day he got his quirk. His father, and everyone in his family knew what his quirk would be. They just didn't understand how dangerous it could be. His eldest brother Touya had a powerful fire quirk, his fire being hotter than his fathers. But it wasn't enough, Enji Todoroki wanted more. Fuyumi wasn't anything special, just an ice quirk. Then Natsuo, same as his sister. But when he was born with red and white hair, everyone just knew he would have the ‘perfect’ quirk.
They were mistaken. He turned five and got his quirk not long after. It was just what his father wanted, half fire and half ice. Shoto knew Touya hated this. Touya always looked at him with hatred. He couldn't blame him, who wouldn't hate him. He stole his mothers love from Natsuo and fathers attention from Touya. He would hate himself too if he were them. But he wasn't them. No, he was something worse. When his father made him use his quirk for ‘training’ they could almost immediately tell something was wrong. Something that didn't happen with Touya. Shotos' quirk hurt him. When he used his fire it burned the skin clean off, and when he used his ice the hypothermia would be so bad his skin would fall off.
Enji threw him aside the moment he realized the boy wasn't going to work. He could always have another child, but he knew the chances of them having the same quirk as Shoto but working correctly were zero to none. So he moved his focus back to Touya, his quirk was strong and didn't hurt him. It would suffice for now. It was all Enji had to surpass All Might. Touya was ecstatic at this new development. He knew he was destined to beat All Might, and now that his brother wasn't a worry anymore he could have what he wanted.
But things didn't stay this good for long. Mother still tried to stop Touyas training no matter how many times he told her not to. He was 13 for god's sake, he could make his own decisions. But she wouldn't stop, so father kept hurting her. Natsuo would comfort her whenever she got hurt. Fuyumi would take care of Touya after training, care for mother, and occasionally check in on father. The only thing none of them did was interact with Shoto. The only time they saw him was during dinner. He had no reason to be isolated, but he was. Mother didn't want him, he was a manifestation of all the abuse Enji put her through. Though she knew he wasn't truly, she was still scared of him. He was a broken masterpiece that none of them bothered to fix.
The months went by in a blur. Touya trained, Natsuo fixed him up and Fuyumi comforted him. It was routine and nothing could break that. Until a cold August morning. Natsuo had woken up earlier than normal. He headed to the kitchen hoping his mother was up and making breakfast. He heard her on the phone talking about him to grandma. He froze in the doorway to listen. She ranted about how much he looked like his father. He knew this already, he had seen old photos of his dad at eight years old and he couldn't deny they looked identical. But mother sounded distraught and it made Natsuo uneasy. She told grandma how she couldn't raise her boy anymore. Natsuo was confused. “Mom? What are you saying?” That one sentence changed everything for their family. The water his mother was boiling screeched as it was finished. Without thinking Rei grabbed the kettle and Natsuos hair and pulled back. She poured the boiling liquid on his face, and he started screaming. He screamed until his mother broke out of her trance. She immediately put her hand on the wound and tried to ice it. “Natsu, my baby, I'm so sorry, please forgive me,” and other things she repeated as he cried. It wasn't long before the whole family arrived.
None of them saw their mother again after that night. Father said she was taken somewhere to get help. Natsuo was furious, he knew his father had something to do with this. His mother loved him. She wouldn't hurt him. Would she? Shoto didn't understand what was going on. No one told him and at five he couldnt put pieces together to understand. All he knew was that his mom was gone. He had no one. He never spoke to his siblings much, but maybe they knew what happened to mommy. He tried talking to Touya first since he was the oldest. “Touya-nii, where's mommy?” he asked, tugging on the older boy's shirt. Touya looked down at him angry. “Fuck off Shoto, I can’t deal with you right now.” he walked off when he was finished. He didn't bother asking Fuyumi, or god forbid Natsuo. He might have been five but he knew Natsuo was hurt, and that he shouldn't bother him. He knew he wasn't welcome to ask anyways.
About a month after the incident with his brother, Shoto managed to get out of the house. It was fairly simple since no one seemed to care about him. He ran through the woods as the sun was setting. He hoped his family would notice he wasn't at dinner and try to find him. He wanted to know he was wanted by them. “Where is Shoto?” their father asked, sitting down at the table for dinner. “I don’t know, normally he is the first one here,” Fuyumi told him, looking around confused. Touya scoffed, “Who cares? He’s annoying and I could go one dinner without him.” Natsuo laughed at what Touya said. Fuyumi sighed, “Even so, he's five, he should eat at least.” The others nodded as she went to go find him. She looked everywhere and couldn't find him.
Fuyumi ran into the dining room looking distraught. “He isn't here,” she said while panting to catch her breath from running. Enji was on high alert, “what do you mean ‘he isn't here’?” “I mean he isnt in the house, I’ve looked everywhere,” She said as her voice cracked from emotion. Touya got up. He hated his brother, yes, but the little shit was only five. He couldn't run away. “You three stay here, I'll go check the forests for him,” Enji got up and left the house. Natsuo looked scared. He didn't like Shoto, but he had just lost mommy, he couldn't lose anyone else.
Enji ran into the forest panicked. He knew if his youngest ran off into the forest it would be near impossible to find him. He was losing hope fast until something happened. Something big. He saw fire. Fire that was spreading. It was too hot for Enji to get through. He got his phone out and called the fire department to come and get rid of the flames. Enji swore he heard screaming through the flames. He begged to whatever god was out there that those screams didn't belong to Shoto. Shortly after the fire department arrived and put out the flames. The second they were gone and the firemen left Enji ran to where he heard the screams. He was fully prepared to find his youngests body, but not this. All he found was a jaw bone and ashes. Ashes everywhere. He froze, panicked. He grabbed the jaw and ran.
The next thing Enji remembers was being in a forensic scientists office while they did DNA testing on the tiny jaw. Enji begged it wasn't Shotos. But this had to be karma for how he treated his wife and his eldest. The tests came back positive along with some ashes found at the scene. His youngest was dead. He burned to death on a mountain and Enji wasn't there. He knew this was his fault and he needed to change. He swore he would never hurt his children again. He couldn't risk losing them like he lost Shoto.
Enji arrived home a few hours later. His other children were sitting on the couch waiting for their brother and father to come home. When their father walked into the house with a clear lack of Shoto they were on high alert. Natsuo was the first to speak up. “Dad, wheres… where's Shoto?” Father froze. He looked to the ground. “Shoto.. Shoto burned up. He’s dead.” he walked out of the room without comforting his kids. He couldn't. He just couldn't look at them. He went to bed as he heard Natsuo crying and Touya yelling at himself. He could hear Fuyumi comforting her younger brother while she herself cried. Each of them went to bed that night blaming themselves for Shoto dying.
It was a week later when Rei found out. She was at the hospital slowly getting better. She missed her children and she wanted to apologize to Natsuo. She missed them. She yearned to hold Shoto while he laughed again. She hoped one day she would. That hope shattered when Enji walked through the doors of her room. She froze in fear. She was still deathly afraid of the man she called her husband. He sat down in a chair in front of her and looked at the ground. He then explained how her baby boy was dead. He burned. She broke down in tears and yelled at him to leave. He didn't fight her and just left. Rei knew then, any sense of reality she had just shattered. She wanted her baby boy back.