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“Is this still in our ballpark?”
“I don't know…”
“Only one way to find out!”
We both lounge towards Karl as he goes for the console right beneath what I could only describe as a futuristic, one story tall, sparkling, Plasma Bomb!
“Don't you dare! You don't even know What that is!”
Catching him by the arm, I pull him away from it. Before he accidentally blows us all into the next century!
“You could damage it! And we don't know the consequences of that.”
Alex chimed in, placing herself bodily between the console and him, pushing from the other side.
“Oh come on! What's the worst that could happen? That it blows up?”
“YES!!”
Both of us complained at him, which made him resign, for now.
“Let's at least wait till the others get here, maybe they know more.”
Alex argued, to which Karl bared his teeth at her.
“As if that boulder-puncher would know any more about this thing then me!”
“No, but he at least is more responsible!” She reasoned with him sternly.
Tisking at her, he freed himself, pushing her away, and pulling his arm out from my hold.
Instead, going over to one of the surrounding desks, scattered across the massive lab.
Sorting through papers and fills laying around.
Taking a breath I briefly glanced up at Alex, who returned it with just as much relief that we managed to at least defuse this bomb.
Checking for cluse was probably a good idea though.
Splitting off to the other side of the huge room, there were more papers and boxes here.
The boxes held mostly what I guess are spare parts, since I never saw anything like these weird contraptions.
And I know Karl's handiwork!
Not that the papers were any better…
I recognized something that looked like a diagram, and a bunch of numbers and scales that probably are important, but I have no clue whatsoever what they mean.
My guess it's some kind of generator?
Or something that just holds energy?
What are even those words?
Quantum Dislocation?
Dimensional fixation point?
Resurrection protocol analysis?
Quantum…
Something-something time and something-something space, right?
God, I don't know. I always fall asleep by these kinds of shows on the Discovery Channel.
Looking over my shoulder at it, it could be anything and the kitchen sink.
A huge cylinder, wide as it was tall.
Wires and even more wires running from and into the huge top section.
Behind what I think is inches thick glass, a glowing, bright sparkling ball of… something. That floated seemingly in the middle of the massive tube.
As a matter of fact, the backside of the massive lab was even more puzzling. Rows upon rows of medical beds and machinery.
All empty from the occasional smear of blood on white sheets.
Wasn't this supposed to be a regular mission to check for BOWs and illegal biological activity?
Well, we did find traces of a new strain of the T-virus, it however seemed nothing more than a side note.
Their main project seemed to be this massive thing.
And I don't know if that's for the better or worse.
Squinting at it.
Am I tripping or does that glowing thing in the middle start to vibrate?
“Fuck!”
Turning completely around just in time to see Karl storm over to the side of the machine once again, I jumped into motion.
“Hey! What are you doing?”
Rushing to his side, Alex was just as hot on his heels as me.
“I need to check the cooling system! The documents say that the temperature has to be at point -375 Celsius or this machine WILL blow up!”
Looking at me through his dark shades with stern seriousness and urgency, we both didn't hesitate to make him room.
I knew it was a fucking bomb!
Checking one side of the machine, with no success, the other one held what he was looking for.
Pulling a plate off, - I guessed he learned it from the papers he found - his brows scrunched up in deep concern.
“The temperature is too high. We need to lower it, ASAP!”
Turning to us he pointed Alex to a console to the left.
“Check the nitrogen level. It's under ‘cooling’.”
Alex literally warped herself into her fog form over there. Fumbling a moment to figure out where she needs to look.
Too long as Karl urges her to hurry, while he tries to adjust something in the insides of the machine.
“Uhm… at 68% and sinking.”
Stopping whatever he was doing he cursed more before he waved me over to him.
“On my command, flip that switch and dial this bottom down until the needle reaches the middle of the scale, got it?”
Looking closely at what he was pointing at, I nodded. Flip switch and dial left bottom. Easy enough.
Petting me on the shoulder as he rushed away to a second console on the right, he worked hard on it and barked more commands at Alex, who obeyed without a word for once.
The tension could be cut with a knife!
I debated internally if we should just run and tell the others to get the hell out of here, but looking at the bright ball of light that started to flicker and grow unstable in its centre orbit behind the thick glass…
I doubt we could run fast and far enough away to be safe from this.
“Karl-l?”
To say I started to panic was an understatement!
Slowly the bright ball started to bounce around in its clear cage. Getting dangerously close to touching the sides.
I thought to myself, that it was hovering for a reason and it touching something probably was bad!
“Karl!?”
Fighting the urge to run, I held my ground.
“Now!”
Flipping the switch and graphing the bottom I spun it and spun it and spun it but…
The needle didn't change position.
Spinning it more and more, it still didn't change and panic was swelling hard in my guts!
“It's not working, it's not working!”
“Get away from there!”
Looking up at the ball just in time as it touched the top of the tank and exploded into blinding light!
There was no sound of explosion, instead, there was just silence. Like all noise was just pushed away in an instant.
I ‘felt’ Alex and Heis approach, reaching instinctively in their direction as heat and vibration filled the air and engulfed me!
It was as if I was being pulled away.
A grip in the middle of my chest that ripped me from my feet.
It almost felt… like I left a ton of weight behind in the process.
Being swept away like I was nothing but a feather in the wind.
Was I falling? Flying? Floating?
I honestly couldn't tell. I feel and at the same time I didn't feel at all.
Nor up, nor down. Nor where I began or ended.
I just was, and yet I was not.
A sort of limbo, if it could be even called that.
It was seconds and yet decades before something could be felt at all.
Something solid, right under my feet. Or at least what I think are my feet, I can't tell at this point anymore.
The sensation was distant. Like I stood on something, but my shoes are made out of inches thick cotton.
Even opening my eyes didn't help. Since I couldn't see at all! Everything was just black!
No, not black.
Yust very, very dark.
There are shapes around me, becoming more clear the more my eyes adjust to the darkness.
Creates? Barrels? A storage room?
Taking a few steps around, old brickwork and crumbled plaster slowly became visible to me.
I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure the complex we were just in was mostly made from steel and concrete, not old bricks.
Speaking of.
Turning around and calling for the others, for Karl, for Alex, anyone.
But no noise left my mouth. My hand shot up to my neck before I could even think about it.
Calling, yelling!
Nothing.
Not even the sound of me breathing could be heard.
For a second I thought I was simply deaf.
But the occasional drop of water and the silent whistle of wind told me otherwise.
Thinking of it now, I didn't even hear my own steps just now.
Looking down at myself, I almost jumped out of my skin!
My body!
It was see through! And… glowing?
Lifting my hands before my face, I could just so see the crates behind them.
Didn't I had tactical gear? Why am I only wearing my blank uniform?
A thought came to my mind. Laying one hand over my nose and mouth, I breathe deep in and out and… oh.
That's why I probably make no sound.
I'm in fact, not breathing at all!
My body did the motion of it, like an old habit or muscle memory, but no air actually filled nor left my lungs.
My mind was blank for a moment.
Am I… dead?
I don't feel dead.
How do you feel when you're dead?
According to Karl I was in fact not alive at some point, but only for 2 minutes, at his claim at least.
I don't remember anything from it, only that waking up again was painful as hell!
Maybe I should have asked Karl about it.
Oh god…
If I'm dead, who looks after Karl?
I can't leave him alone!
Panic fills my veins, and yet. My heart.
It wasn't pounding.
The usual rush of blood was there in my ears. But my heart didn't beat. At all!
Am I.
A ghost?
If I'm a ghost, then maybe I can find Karl that way, at least check on him, see if he's alright?
But where is he?
I can't sense anything. Would I even be able to like this?
Shouldn't ghosts be able to see in the dark? Then why can't I barely see further than my arms length?
The fact that I'm glowing is likely the reason why I'm able to see at all right now in this darkness!
Fear and panic clogged my mind, what was I supposed to do??
Taking a couple of ‘breaths’, I calmed myself forcefully. Panic doesn't help, Chris taught you that much.
Collect yourself; access the situation; then act.
Well, I won't find anything out simply standing here. Maybe I can find something to help me understand.
Moving along the wall next to me, this wasn't a room, but a tunnel.
The air was cold, damp and stale underlined by earth and mould.
I can't breathe, but I can smell, how does that work?
Then again I have no heartbeat but apparently blood flow (I think), that should also not be possible.
I have feet, but my steps make no sound. Better not to think too hard about that one…
Actually, why am I following this tunnel?
If I'm a ghost, then I should be able to walk through walls, right?
I don't know what's on the other side, but it surely can't be much darker than this.
Turning to my left, I fixated on the wall, picturing myself walking through it - not sure if that's how it works, but it can't hurt.
Taking quick steps, I closed my eyes and…
Ran face first into the wall and bounced back, landing on my ass!
Outsh…
Fuck me, that hurt!
Well, I don't know what I was expecting, but definitely not pain!
Feeling my nose, I half expected to see glowing ectoplasm on my hand, but instead it was a drop of black on my slightly glowing translucent hand.
So that's a confirmed ‘yes’ on the blood flow at least.
Sitting up against the wall, whatever I am, I'm not a ghost.
I don't breathe, nor does my heart work, neither do I produce any noises, but I am alive in a sense.
Not leaving Karl alone so soon then.
That's a good thing, I hope.
Feeling just a little bit better, despite half my face hurting like a bitch, I stumble onward in the darkness.
Better get a move on before I find out if I get hungry too or not.
Walking what felt like forever, I started to hear something. An echo.
It sounded like… sniffing? Sobbing?
Interrupted by the occasional wimper of pain.
Following the noise, there was a split in the tunnel, and light!
Not much, not even worth being called a candle flame, but light nonetheless.
The crying got ever so slightly louder. From the pitch of the voice, I'd say it's that of a man.
Making me wonder what happened to the poor soul that he weeps so pitifully.
Standing right under the light, it was nothing more than a small lantern. Dirty and with a flickering flame inside.
The voice was not far, but I couldn't make out where it was coming from.
A small popping noise, followed by a silent cry and more whimpering, made me realise that it came from right in front of me.
Cowering between two crates, sat a person, hidden away and cloaked by shadows.
Moving up to them, I tried to move cautiously, until I remembered that I didn't make any noises to begin with - I kinda wished I would, so I wouldn't just startle the poor man.
Stopping right before him, I kneeled down.
Good thing light passes through me, making seeing quite a lot easier.
Dark tousled hair, short cut.
His head slouched on his arms, which are folded over knees, hugging himself.
He had a strong build, his clothes appeared… old. Strange high boots and trousers like I only ever saw in old pictures.
At first I thought he was wearing a shirt with a strange pattern, until I looked closer and noticed that this pattern actually dribbled down his arms!
This was blood!
Those were cuts!
I called out, but slapped myself mentally - I'm never getting used to this.
Starting to reach out for him, I stopped as the popping noise emerged again.
Not even a second later, the poor guy whimpered in pain.
As he started to move, I was about to jump back as I saw a knife!
But he wasn't aiming it at me, oh no.
He laid it on his own skin, ready to draw more blood!
My hand shot out, stopping hot shivering flesh. It was out of reflex, without thinking.
I might have no clue what was going on, but I can't just sit here, watching him hurting himself now, can I?
His head shot up as he pulled his arm away, knife raised and ready to strike. But froze the moment he saw me.
His expression is a mix of shock and surprise and… awe?
The knife clattering on the stone as he dropped it.
His face. These eyes. Gold that bleeds into blue.
‘Karl?’
He was younger. A lot younger. Mid twenties, early thirty?
No sign of grey in his hair, his beard short and the same black as his hair.
Not many wrinkles grazing his skin, but scars.
Many, many scars. Fresh and bleeding.
Without thinking, I laid my hands on his checks.
Cupping his face as gently as I could, mindful of his injuries - why is his skin so hot?
Scrunching my brow in worry.
‘What happened to you?!’
Those were the same scars he had all this time later.
Did he do them to himself? Why?!
“Are you here to take me angel?”
‘Angel?’
Oh right, I still have no voice, so talking is useless.
Well, to him I probably don't look very normal right now. Glowing and all.
His voice is scratchy. Broken, yet so soft.
How long was he crying like this?
And yet, he was smiling at me, with his crooked grin.
“Why the worried face? It's alright, I'm ready to die.”
Die?
I couldn't help the tears in my eyes as I took him in. He was so young, yet his eyes were so empty.
Ready to leave everything behind, even his life.
Was this around the time Miranda snatched him? Later? After the ritual?
God, I don't know! He never talks about this.
I said his name again, feeling tears running down my face.
Warm, rough lather touched my cheek, and I leaned into it. Let myself get pulled closer.
“Don't cry for me angel. I've already done that enough.”
Whipping the tear away, I tried to hold back, but they kept coming.
Pulling me so close, that our foreheads touched.
He was so warm.
In fact, he was burning!
The popping sound rang again. Louder.
Electricity sparked in the air between us, and just like before Karl started to whine and cry out.
His hand that held my check suddenly pulled away, searching instead blindly for the knife he dropped.
Looking up, his face was scrunched up in agony.
Is that why he cut himself, to keep it in check?
His hand became frantic, his expression fearful, and just a moment later I understood why.
Electricity ran across his entire body, the smell of burning flesh fills the air.
I flinched away in pain as I was hit.
What was going on?!
Can't he control his powers?
I watched in horror as he screamed and writhed in agony. Lighting bolts zapped along his skin, sizzling and burning.
What could I do? How can I help him?
I briefly looked around for the knife, but that wasn't a solution either.
Karl started to claw at his skin. Drawing blood and ripping already inflamed wounds open!
Reaching out, his powers hit me, burning across my skin, driving into my flesh!
Touching him was even worse!
Instincts screamed at me to pull away, get away from the pain.
Instead I leaned in, holding his arm and embracing him with the other.
Something inside my chest hurt, my lungs burned.
And so did my back, as fingernails dug deep and held firm.
His voice screamed right into my ear, right before another pain joined the others.
A piercing pain on my shoulder, a familiar one in fact.
Teeth.
He was baiting me, to push past the pain.
I screamed in silence, gripping tight into cloth until it ripped in my hold. Tears burning hot as I endured.
It seemed to help him however, because his power lessened, the burning decreased slowly.
Whining into his shoulder, I felt him shake in my hold. He was fighting for control.
I don't know how long we sat there, holding each other through the pain.
Until the cackling of electricity stopped and I slumped against him.
Slowly, he pulled his teeth out of my shoulder, before giving my poor flesh an apologetic gentle lick.
Even with all my nerves literally fried, it still made me flinch.
I'm surprised I still feel pain after this.
“Hey”
A hand on the back of my neck carefully turned my head.
“Angel?” panic was strong in his broken voice as he gently shock me.
I had to fight to open my eyes, and even more to focus on something.
It took me a while to actually see his face.
He looked so worried, as blood was running from one of his bloodshot eyes.
I weakly smiled up at him, which made him sight in relief, returning the smile with a crooked one of his own. Teeth all red from my blood.
I closed my eyes again. Something hurt in my chest and my lungs still burned.
The sensation of falling returned, together with a worried voice, calling something.
The thing in my chest hurt so much!
What is that?!
Badumm
Was that… my heart?
~~●~~
I was looking at a dimly lit, rusted ceiling.
This is… not where I just was.
Looking around, I was lying on a dirty floor. Littered with scrap, broken bricks and other junk.
The rest of the room wasn't much better either.
It almost looked like a messy hospital, with stretchers and beds standing about.
Sitting up, something in my chest was still hurting, but not as badly like before.
My heart was beating, even if just once, I was certain of it, but placing my hand over it now, it wasn't anymore.
I'm not sure what is going on, and I'm not sure I want to either.
But I think it has something to do with why I'm here.
Wherever here is.
Feeling a stiffness in my neck, I rubbed over it, and promptly stopped.
Feeling more thoroughly around… didn't Karl just ram his teeth into my flesh like 5 min ago?
Why wasn't there even a scratch anymore?
It wasn't just healed, it was more like it never happened.
Is this maybe a dream?
No, I'm pretty sure pain is not a thing in dreams. I had it often enough that I woke up from pain in the waking world.
No, this was something different.
Well, I wouldn't get any wiser by simply sitting here, now would I?
Getting up from the cold floor, this place looks oddly familiar.
There wasn't much else in this particular room other than a few more folded away stretchers.
There however was a door at the far side.
The floor outside was not much more exciting than the room.
This however finally clicked something in my head where I was.
This was Karl's factory!
Just… not as broken?
I remembered it being on the edge of crumbling to dust.
This however, looked more cared after.
Karl looked younger last time, so it makes sense that his factory is in better shape too?
However.
If this isn't a dream. Then I'm in the past?
I remember the papers say something about quantum-something-something.
But… time travel?
Glancing at my hands. Still see through and glowing.
I don't think I'm actually ‘here’.
Corporaly speaking.
I'm here but I'm not here here.
God, I'm getting a headache from all this.
Wasn't there like… a protocol if you time travel?
Don't interact with the past or you change the future?
Welp, I think it's too late for that.
In any case, I probably should check on Karl.
His wounds didn't look too deep, but that doesn't mean they can cause trouble, Cadou or not.
As I was here the last time, Karl usually stuck around near his ‘living quarters’, so I should look there first.
Now to navigate this labyrinth. I got lost here more often than not in my days. I probably isn't much better this time…
And sure enough, I got lost!
Paths that used to be free, are either blocked or non existing.
I know the general area I should be in, but no idea as to how to get to the one I want to go to.
Frustrated and worried, I searched the few rooms I could enter.
Going from one that was nothing more than a dumpster to one that held the sickly sweet smell of rotten flesh!
Covering my nose, I vaguely wondered if I could throw up like this.
The reflex was definitely there, but nothing that in fact could come up.
Lucky me…
Going further in, body bags lay about on a pile.
Other bodies were covered with dirty sheets, while others…
I looked away. I better not test if truly nothing would come out of me.
Instead I concentrated on crossing this room as quickly as possible.
It probably wouldn't smell at all this bad, if the room would be properly cooled!
It's unlike Karl to be this disorganised with his... building materials.
Finally reaching the other door at the end of this stinky nightmare, I pushed the heavy metal open, enough for me to slip through. The heavy clang as it fell shut behind me, made me freeze. But no reaction came from the room.
The air in here was stale and sticky, but at least it didn't smell like decay.
Well… not as strong anyway.
Torn curtains hang from the ceiling, partly sectioning the room. Dim light highlighting more tables, all empty, except for one.
I only saw the legs but…
This one was different. Moving the cloth aside, this… definitely was Karl's handiwork, no doubt about it.
The crude wiring going in out of the body.
Metal plates fused and sewn into decomposing flesh.
Lips and eyelids removed… oh, how I have not missed this sight.
This one however looked incomplete.
I remember them having ‘a heart’ and a visor.
Let alone that the usual drill is missing too.
The Soldat in itself was done, they were just not added at all.
Weird.
“Have you come to admire my failure?”
Jumping out of my skin, - if I even still have one - I spun around!
Right there, on the left side of the room.
Casually leaning against a table, partially hidden behind another dirty torn curtain, was Karl.
He was… older.
Still ‘young’, but his hair longer, his fresh scars healed. Beard more unruly.
And that's only the things I could make out from this distance and dim light.
No coat, only an old shirt and gloves. His signature glasses on his nose, but no fedora yet.
Grabbing the bottle next to him, he took a couple of big swigs.
He's not drunk. Not yet at least, but he gets there eventually, with or without Cadou.
“So you're not a fucking fever dream.”
He mumbled it so quietly I doubt it was directed at me.
However, the strange signs he made with his hands were absolutely meant for me.
A quick fluid motion of waves and finger signs - one that made him flick his hands out and away from him, almost like a bird, despite the bottle still in his hand.
After he was done, he waited.
But whatever he was expecting, all I could do was blink in confusion.
“You don't know sign language.”
Not a question, but a statement.
‘No’
Mouthing it and shaking my head; no, I absolutely didn't.
But apparently he can! How come he never bothered to tell me that little information about himself?!
Gesturing at my trout in frustration. I was usually not mute.
Watching in unimpressed silence, he dropped his arms again.
“..figures.” So bitter and biting.
Taking another huge gulp, he was clearly drinking for a reason, and it was not a good one.
Approaching him slowly, he watched me over the rim of his glasses.
Getting closer, there was something strange on the right side of his face.
Not scarring, but a growth. Red and slightly bulging, like veins.
Spanning from his right eye all the way down over his check, engulfing his ear and disappearing under his collar.
I saw it only once, as he used his ultimate power. Turning into a weapon of flesh and metal…
Guessing by his age, it must have been his first time and by his mood, it wasn't pleasant either.
He was in great pain in my time, and it took him quite a while to recover and heal from it.
Now in his prime, at his full strength, it might be quicker, but not less unpleasant.
Bearing his teeth at me, he didn't like being observed. So I stopped my approach and instead leaned against a nearby table.
Taking in my translucent hands, giving him a chance to relax a bit.
Either it's the light, or I get more solid.
Before I could see clearly through my fingers, now I just barely see the floor.
I hope this is a good thing.
“What do you know of me, huh?”
Glancing up, cold, burning golden eyes stared sidelong at me.
Something has shifted.
I'm too close.
But moving now would make it worse.
So I calmly lowered my hands, gripping the table I was leaning against.
“What do you know, that you can look at me like that, huh?”
Pushing away from his spot, there was a limp in his step as he strode towards me.
Taking another swing from the bottle, before he closed in into my space. Leaning over as he slammed the bottle to my left on the table and his empty hand on the other.
“What. Do you know, Angle!” He spat the name.
Anger and hurt burning in his eyes.
Alcohol on his breath, as he boxed me in.
Instinctively I leaned away, making myself smaller as he towers over me.
I never saw him like this.
I thought I knew his anger, how wrong I was.
And yet… I knew. I knew he wasn't just mad.
Something else was bubbling under this hot fire. Some thorn that pierced a tender spot, which he couldn't reach by himself.
What usually worked with him, was if you didn't fall for his anger. Acknowledging it, but letting in drip of you, like water from a duck.
So I straightened my spine, held his gaze, and waited patiently. Watching him with soft eyes.
His anger shifted to confusion. Leaning slightly away, trying to understand why I don't shake in fear for him.
Good to know that some things never change.
It was my turn to lean forward, holding my stance open and welcoming.
Making a small beckoning sign with my hand.
‘What happened?’
Of course there was no sound coming from my mouth, but his eyes that focused on my lips told me that he understood anyway.
Tisking dismissively, he moved away. Taking another gulp of booze.
“Like you understand, the shit that's going on with me.”
Blinking tired at him, I lifted my arm.
Holding it before my face and looking at him through it.
Boy, whatever is going on with you can't be much more complicated then what's going on with me!
Frowning, he snarled at me.
“That's not the same!”
Dropping my arm again, I surged. Hopping onto the table and holding my hand out, asking for the bottle.
He never opened up quickly, so I might as well get comfortable.
His frown deepens in suspicion, but he passes the bottle on, leaning against his own table again.
Toasting at him in thanks, I lifted the bottle to my lips.
Not sure if I can let alone should consume anything in my state, but a good drink would definitely help.
Or so I thought.
The moment it hit my tongue, I choked!
Fight to swallow the liquid and not spit it out again.
Coughing and gasping without air and noise, I glanced up at Karl before turning to the bottle.
I know that he brews his liquor himself, but he definitely was better at it in older age.
Sure, it was still strong, but at least it didn't taste like paint thinner!
Still coughing, a hand suddenly appeared before my face. Gloveless, not even an inch away from my nose.
Following the arm, Karl was looking at me. More curiosity than weariness.
After a moment of confusion and more coughing I understood.
He was studying me. That look of curiosity. The need to solve a mystery that was bugging him.
He must have come to the same conclusion; that I don't breathe.
His hand moved further, pressing on my trout.
Flinching, I grabbed his arm, but he wasn't trying to choke me.
Pressure right beneath my yaw. He was searching for my pulse.
My hold became soft, as I let him do his research.
His grip on my trout tightened for a second, playing with the thought, but releasing me.
“What are you then? You obviously no angel.”
Throwing my arms out, I would have struggled to explain it even if I was not mute!
So instead I made a comical mimic of an explosion with my arms.
Before dropping them in tired resignation.
“An explosion? That's it?”
I nodded once, before taking another gulp, only to shudder in disgust and cough again.
‘What is this shit?’
Holding the bottle up, I looked at him with judgement. Which made him pout about that his brew was so harshly criticized.
“It gets the job done, so don't question the quality!”
Snatching it from me, he downed the rest. Throwing the empty bottle to the far side of the room, shattering it in the process.
Before he took another from the table, continuing his quest to drown whatever was plaguing him.
Waiting until he settled down again, I waved questioning at him.
Hoping he was comfortable enough now to open up a bit.
“Take a guess…”
Looking the other way, he held the bottle out for me.
Taking it, I waited again for him to turn back.
Tracing a line on the right of my face, over my ear and down my neck, the tension in his shoulders told me enough.
‘Your hurt’
It was as good as gone, only some faint red lines that one could easily mistake for scratches.
The vice grip on his right arm however, told a story that there was still more damage that had to heal.
Taking a swing - every time it tastes less and less like paint thinner.
‘You… turned’
The second I spoke it out, was the moment fists grabbed me by the collar! Pulling me off the table.
My feet dangled in the air as he snarled into my face.
I dropped the bottle, hearing it a moment later shattered on the floor.
“Who told you?! Who fucking told you? Miranda?!”
Grabbing his arms, I tried to pull myself free, but his strength was like that of no other.
Struggling, I did my hardest not to kick him, this angered, I would make things worse.
Saying his name, he of course did not react to it.
“Did that bitch told you what I turn into?!”
Yelling it at my face, he was in full fury. Anger and hurt burning hot, shaking me violently.
“Did she brag about what kind of disappointment I am?! What kind of fucking mo-”
We both looked at each other, unmoving in stunned silence, as my hand covered his mouth, preventing him from saying what was not true.
That's why he is hurt.
And I finally understand why he turned against Miranda.
The hatred he holds against her.
Being taken from your family. All this pain, all the torture. And then being called a failure, for just existing after what she did.
But he was wrong.
And I really wished I could talk. That I could tell him so much about what he was and was not.
But I could not, so I had to make everything count what he could read from my lips.
Taking a breath without breath, I opened my eyes to a still stunned Karl.
Pain and hurt still burning hot, but underlined with something soft. A delicate hope, about what is to come.
‘A monster. Would not hurt.’
Feeling his yaw work under my fingers, and his hot breath on my skin, I moved slowly, giving him ample time to move away if he didn't want this.
Reaching up and gently pulling his glasses off all the way from where they slipped down his nose.
If I didn't have to hold myself up I would do this with both hands, but I have to work with what I got here.
Holding his glasses with my pinky and ring finger.
I brushed the edge of his eye, touching warm tears before they ran down worn skin.
‘A monster. Would not cry.’
Taking my hand from his check, he ever so slightly followed it, before stopping himself.
Reaching between his arms that still held me in the air. I placed my hand in the middle of his chest. Feeling and seeing him flinch - was he already touch starved all this time ago?
‘Man do.’
His face twitched with emotions as his brows started to quiver.
‘You are no monster. You are no failure.’
Swallowing tickling, he tried to hold in his emotions, but the hurt won over as he started to shake. Eyes glistening with swelling tears.
Slowly lowering me, he still held on tight. Needing something to hold on to.
Taking my hand from his, I reached for his check, hovering it so close I could feel the warmth of his skin.
Given him the choice, and he took it, without hesitation. Leaning into my hold, he finally broke down.
A broken sob got stuck halfway in his trout as his tears ran freely.
He tried to burrow into my hand, trying to hide or just have more, so I pulled him towards me.
Quickly dropping his glasses behind me on the table, I grabbed his shoulder as I pulled him flush against me.
He slumped against me, face buried in my shoulder. His hands gripped my sides. If yust to hold on or in fear I disappear again I don't know.
I just held him, petting softly over his hair as he let everything out that hurt him.
One broken sob at a time.
Slowly his shaking calmed down, as did his sobs.
His hands sneaking around my back, fully taking me hostage against him.
One thing this young version of Karl and my old grumpy bear have in common; they both like to be touched by someone they want to. Soaking it up as much as they can.
Given how he tried to drown his pain, I doubt he even has someone right now that can hold him like this.
Did he ever had someone? The little he told me indicated that this was never the case.
And he apparently didn't know or care that there was a line.
Because his hands started to press a bit too firm, wandering a little too curiously.
His nose on my neck taking my scent in a little too insistently.
I had to stop this before it escalated!
I don't know if it's cheating if it's the same person but younger, but I'm not not about to find out. He's not my Karl yet.
Moving my hands to push at his arm, I tried to get room between us. But he either mistook it for a move on him, or didn't care as his hand pulled my shirt up, searching for skin.
Young or old, his touch never let me not shiver, which was apparently his cue to explore his way up to my chest.
Pushing more insistently on his arms to get him off me, his hand reached the center of my chest and in that moment it felt as if something yust slammed me in the gut! A desperate gasp for actual air filled my lungs!
My heart hammered in my chest, and it hurt!
Pulling away from me, Karl ripped his hand away from my chest, looking at me in shock.
I clawed at my chest, bending over as the air was suddenly trapped in my lungs, refusing to come out again!
Unable to breathe once more, the inside of my chest felt like a cage full of panicking birds!
Everything suddenly was so blurry, the sounds muffled.
Hands grabbed my shoulders, pulling me up once more.
“No. Not again! Stay with me angel!”
The voice was right in my ear, yet sounded so distant.
The sudden fuzziness in my head made it hard to even understand them.
The blurry dark sharp of Karl vanished for a split second, replaced by a bright ceiling, with two blurry figures above me, before everything was engulfed in cold darkness.
~~●~~
Opening my eyes, a blue, cloudless sky was above me. Turning away from it, soft grass graced the side of my face.
Birds are chirping around me.
My chest and head hurt like I fell down a cliff, before someone took a sledgehammer and finished the job!
This is getting old.
How often do I have to go through this?
Rolling over, a wave of nausea hit me, making me grip into the grass in fear I would start to fall. To where I don't know since I'm laying on grass but whatever helps I guess.
I'm breathing. Sorta.
Not even a mouthful makes it in nor out of me. Not even when I concentrated on it.
Like my lung capacity was reduced to a laughable amount.
Something is fluttering in the centre of my chest. Like a tiny panicking bird, fighting for survival!
And it hurts.
Can I go back to being ‘death’ and soundless please?
The tiniest of groans escaped me - It's so weird hearing myself again after so long. Not just breathing, but also me interacting with everything around me.
Pushing myself up, I feel so weak.
Giving the world a second to stop spinning, I squinted at my surroundings.
I'm at the edge of a forest, right next to a field of crops.
Standing up carefully, behind it, was the silhouette of houses.
And behind it, an imposing, massive castle, that let shivers run down my spine!
This is the village!
I'm back!
But why?!
Well, technically speaking, I was in the village the whole time.
Just that I've only ever been in Karl's factory.
Wincing in pain, I clutched my chest.
Better to find Karl. He seemed to be the reason why I'm here after all.
But where to find him?
I never really woke up remotely next to him anyway…
The faintest pull however, made me realise one thing though.
My sense was back!
A weak tendril, of sensation, but unmistakable.
So my sense is coupled with my heart?
I think I saw some weird diagrams a while back. That the heart has its own magnetic field or something like that. Might be worth looking into it when…if I ever get back from whatever this is.
Somewhere in the village was something.
Something with an essence.
However in this current state, I can't tell neither who, or what.
It might be Karl, the Duke, Gavin, Donna, or in the worst case; Miranda!
Looking down at myself, in this light, I wasn't glowing anymore, although I still am a bit translucent.
Through my fingers I still see the green of the grass shimmering through, but way less than the first time, back in that cellar.
So I might not look as abnormal, but I still would be an outsider. And I don't know if Luisa is even born yet, let alone that she would stand up for me again.
I only need to find Karl, so maybe it will be okay?
Looking over the village at the castle, in the worst case I run away. Better than to go through all of this again!
Even though I wouldn't mind seeing Donna and Angie again.
Or my Gavin.
If he even is a Lycan yet. I don't even know when I am right now.
Gripping my chest to squelch the pain a bit, I started to walk along the path down into the village.
Better get this over with.
Hiding behind a house, I observed the village live. The houses looked in better shape, not by much, but still noticeable.
Fences not as mismatched and parsley fresh painted.
Everything was more colorful, even their clothing.
I must have come to a golden age for this village.
The rage about how Miranda rotted it over the years…
If I could I would stab that bitch, but I doubt it would do much, even if I had my dagger.
Taking a deep… short, mouthful of air. I stepped out from my little hiding spot.
Approaching the nearest villager, I waved in greeting, hoping he would not chase me out with a pitchforks right away.
But he didn't react to me at all.
Thinking I was just not in his line of sight, I move around him, and tried to speak, but it just became a breathy cough instead.
It made him look my way, before he returned to fixing something on his fence.
Blinking in confusion, I slowly approached and waved my hand right before his face.
But nothing.
Can't he see me?
But I think he heard me just now, so I dared a little closer and tapped him once on the shoulder.
Looking over said shoulder, he turned confused around, before shrugging dismissively and returning to his work.
I'm a ghost to them!
I'm invisible, but I can interact with them.
If I can touch them, then they probably can touch me too?
I'm not sure, but I better not bump into someone. It would definitely cause a ruckus.
Well, at least I can move around without the danger of being captured.
The faintest pull was still there, deeper in the village somewhere.
It was… too friendly to be Miranda, so it might be the Duke, or possibly even Karl.
Not that he interacted much with the people in the village if he could help it, but I know he did occasionally.
Being mindful to step out of everyone's feet when I could, I still could not always move out of the way in time.
A child brushed my leg, stopping confused, trying to catch what she ran into.
I moved far enough away, but the other children soon joined.
Turning into a weird game of finding the invisible thing.
I moved on as quickly as possible, before they found it!
Another time I yust barely dodged a couple, I gasped out loud as I stumbled over a low bush.
They both turned in shock, questioning if it was an animal.
Turning already to flee, I froze as I recognized a familiar face.
Luisa!
She was so young!
Her face is void of any wrinkles, hair black as coal. She looked like a teen, and she was cute! How old could she be?
16? 18? Definitely not older than 20!
I barely shock myself out of the surprise to move out of the way as they inspected the greenery.
This was not her later husband, yet he also looked strangely familiar, but I couldn't place my thumb on it.
Determining that whatever it was had fled, the young couple resumed unbothered with their day.
I can't believe I got to see Luisa again…
I wanted to run after her, hug her and thank her for everything.
But like this… I would just make her freak out.
My heart arched from a whole different reason, but also swelled with joy.
She looked happy, and my younger self will get to meet her eventually.
Whipping a tear from my eye, a wet smile pulled at the corner of my mouth.
Thinking back, Luisa was around 40? 50?
If she was a teen now, I could have been already born.
It's an weird though. Knowing I'm in two different places at two different ages.
But I wouldn't go down that line of thought. Too many bad memories…
So instead I pressed myself along walls to find my destination.
It was in fact not Karl, but the Duke.
He set up shop near the main altar up the hill.
He. Looked exactly like all those years later!
His short blonde hair, his jolly smile. His vibrant clothes down to his rings on his fingers.
Tilting my head, I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but that not even one hair was different from his later self…
Waiting until his customers left with their goods, I approached cautiously, but even he couldn't see me.
Even up close, nothing was amiss.
This man is unchanging, kinda reassuring in a way.
Breathing a small smile at him, I turned away.
Now where to find my actual goal?
He could be everywhere and nowhere, due to his tendency to wander around.
“He is behind his factory. Follow the small hidden path to the right of his gate and you will find him.”
Freezing in place, I slowly turned around to face the Duke once more.
He wasn't paying attention to me, instead he prepared a cigar for himself before lighting it.
I know he was just talking to me. I KNOW!
Taking half a step towards him, I already wanted to question the shit out of him, but stopped myself.
No, no, he can explain himself once I'm back to normal!
Now, I need to focus on finding Karl.
Walking past, I briefly glanced at him, but he again didn't pay me no mind.
“Good day then.”
Slowing down on a whiff of irritation, I waved shortly at him over my shoulder and heard the faintest jolly laughter behind me in respond.
He so has to explain himself!
The way to Karl's factory wasn't a particularly well traveled one, so I could relax a bit and not desperately avoid everyone and everything.
Arriving at the gate, it was closed as usual. The usual junkyard was smaller, but less overgrown and far less rusted then I remember it.
But I didn't need to go inside.
Turning to my right, barely visible, almost completely overgrown by bushes, was a slim path that led up a flight of narrow stairs.
I never even noticed this path before, although I could count on one hand how often I actually stood before his gate.
Moving the greenery aside, I followed the unfamiliar path. Up and up, through more overgrown greenery.
Karl himself seemingly doesn't seem to travel here often.
Having quite the few scratches on my arms, finally a clearing opened up before me.
Stopping, I took the odd picture before me in.
This was… a makeshift graveyard. Handmade crosses, crafted from metal and wood, some more thoughtful than others.
Some evenly spaced apart, and others standing together in small groups.
Some soil was fresh, while others were overgrown, clearly standing at least a couple of years.
Was this… Karl's? Did he make them?
He used corpses as building materials, why would he bury them?
Well, some of them. There were a total of 8 crosses, and he had hundreds of Soldats.
So, were those people special to him then?
I, in fact, could ask him.
Off to the far right, stood Karl. Over a fresh greave, fussing around the 9th cross to place it perfectly.
Coming up behind him, he flinched as he glanced over his shoulder, ready to give whoever intruded a big, mad piece of his mind, but relaxed the moment he saw it was me.
He is older.
Almost all his hair is gray, aside from some pepperd strands.
His beard longer and more tusseld, more scars and more wrinkles.
His signature hat on his head and fawn trench coat, just not as weather, trinkets dangling from his neck, all the pieces are in place.
He is almost my Karl, but not yet.
Turning back to his tasks he mumbled;
“Wondered if I will see you again.”
The smile in his voice was barely audible, but if you know it, you hear it.
Stopping a bit behind him, I folded my hands before me, this was a funeral after all.
The least I could do was show respect to the dead. If I knew that this was a graveyard, I would have picked some flowers, but what's too late is too late.
Finally satisfied with his placement, Karl pulled a small metal case out from within his trench coat.
Opening it, he pulled a cigar out before showing it between his teeth.
And then, he pulled a second one out, and placed it on the small ledge of the cross.
An offering, I realised.
“I used to know them.”
Looking up, I watched how he bit one end off the cigar, before lighting it.
Taking a couple of puffs for it to properly burn.
“From before. Some turned Lycan, others… well. They were more lucky.”
Before Miranda, before everything…
He knew them, might has been friends or even family with them.
That's why those are the only ones he's burrowing.
After a couple more puffs, he dozed the cigar again, stowing it away inside his trench coat for later, before standing in silence with me. Paying respect to his old friends.
I'm surprised he never told me about them, but maybe it simply hurt too much still.
Speaking of hurt; a zing shot through my chest again, making me flinch and grab the middle of my shirt.
The softest groan escaped me as I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to push it down again.
Warm leather suddenly touched the back of my hand, making me jump in shock!
“Careful.”
Holding onto my hand and shoulder, he stabilised me. I didn't even notice until now, but my head is spinning. I'm swaying in place.
Something was pulling on my shirt, looking down, Karl was opening my bottoms.
Grabbing his hand, I struggled against his hold.
Weak as it was, if he wanted to continue where he stopped off last time…
“Relax! I'm just checking something.”
Stopping in my trashing, if only to make the world stop spinning for a second, I looked down to see what he was doing.
My hand still on his, the other holding onto his arm on my shoulder for support.
At first I didn't understand what he was looking for, until a dark, reddish bruise suddenly flashed from underneath my shirt.
And then another and another.
He stopped at the halfway point, instead pulling one side open to see the bruises better.
They weren't big, the size of a quarter, maybe less. Dotted across my upper chest.
Taking my hands away from him, I pulled both pieces further apart, revealing even more of those dark dots and a larger imprint on my left peck.
It didn't look like anything I knew or recognized.
A strange pattern that didn't make much sense to me, but to Karl, apparently it did.
Humming deep in his throat, he spread his right hand out, tilting it slightly before holding it over the marks.
At first I didn't understand, until I saw it.
They matched! His hand and the markings, they were identical!
Why was his hand imprinted on my chest?
And more importantly; why did it look like it was burned in!?
Pulling his hand away again, he hummed thoughtfully.
“So that's why.”
Looking sharply up, a gasp escaped me instead of an actual question as the zing returned. Worse than the last one, making me sway again.
Hands catch me by the shoulders, gently pushing me back until something hard bumped against my legs.
Getting pushed down, I was sat onto a small brick wall.
The only part that hadn't crumbled apart yet.
Holding onto stone and fabric, I waited until the world decided to stop spinning again.
Breathing became harder, up until the point I didn't breathe at all again.
It almost felt better that way, to be honest.
“Your time is up soon, huh?”
My what? Looking up in confused fear, Karl watched with passive calmness.
I don't think he meant I die. Die for good that is, but something different.
“Had time to think, and ask around about you. I have an idea what's going on.”
Tilting my head in question, he didn't elaborate on it though.
“You find out soon enough, don't worry about it.”
A grin pulled at the corner of his mouth, which did anything but calm me down.
Frowning up at him, I huffed a breathless breath, the pain and vertigo subsided for now. I doubt it stays that way.
“Fitting though, all those times you helped me, I can finally give something back.”
Pulling his glasses from his nose, he stored them away in his pocket, watching me with those eyes I love.
He looked sad, like he is about to lose something.
“You know me, don't you?”
A gentle smile painted itself on my face, nodding slowly as I looked to the ground.
Oh I do.
“Will I see you again?” Hopeful, curious. Desperate?
Well, I think I can give him that answer.
Nodding with more enthusiasm, he will. In fact he will get more of me than he bargained for.
All this made me wonder though.
Why didn't Karl remember about me later then?
If this is the past, then he should, should he not?
Maybe I'm missing something, a clue to what is going on.
Looking back up, I just barely coughed him, hiding a relieved smile.
Clearing his voice, he tried to hide it, but he knew I saw it.
He is not yet my Karl.
But he almost is.
Putting his glasses back on his nose, the seriousness returned to his posture.
His hand pressed on my chest, touching the imprinted marks.
“Be ready.”
Be ready? Ready for what-
The thought barely formed in my head, as the pain returned, tenfold!
Air once more rushed into my lungs. Filling the space to the point I think they rapture.
My heart is hammering in my chest!
I tried to lean away, rip his hand away!
But he leaned in to me, pressing himself against me.
Trapping his hand between us as another painful shock shot through me.
My vision blurred, turning white.
Weird shapes where before me, blinding light burned my eyes, before it cleared again.
I clutched at Karl's coat.
A broken plea ripped from my raw trout for him to stop, but a hand in my back pressed me closer to him instead.
“Goodbye, Angle.” His voice so clear, yet so far in my ear.
~~●~~
The next shock made me fall.
His arms were gone, as was the ground, and the sky.
I was falling, flying, floating again.
I was everywhere and nowhere once more.
But it didn't stay that way for long.
Something was pulling. Yanking, insistently.
Away, back to something more solid, more cold, more painful.
Pain shot through my chest, air filled my lungs, Bright light burned my eyes!
This felt familiar.
Gasping and coughing I blindly reached out with my arms.
My body felt numb and on fire at the same time.
Someone took hold of my hand, squeezing it with warmth and shaking fingers.
“Lucas!”
Bright, broken, a worried wet voice. Alex?
Opening one eye against the burning brightness.
A tall and lean blurry shape sat next to me. Not a moment later, the feeling of warmth, the smell of wild flowers, the gentle sound of water.
Oh, good. My sense is back.
“You gotta… stop doing this to me.” ruff, out of breath, revealed.
Only now do I feel the burn of something on my chest and warmth slowly returning.
But also a weight that moves away from it, and replaces itself on my shoulder.
The sound of clicking gears. The smell of grease and machine oil and smooth cigar smoke. A warmth that has nothing to do with my blood flowing again.
My other hand searched for his, my limbs not yet fully obeying.
A huge hand catches it, gentle, yet firm. Pulling it up to something warm and prickly.
Turning my head, another shape sat next to me. Blinking at it to get my vision to clear, until finally.
He is diry, dust and gravel stuck to his clothes, skin and hair.
Hat and glasses gone. A new cut hidden half under his beard that already stopped bleeding.
He looked spent, but relieved.
One hand still on my shoulder, the other pressing mine to his check. Feeling the returning warmth that slowly creeped back across my limbs.
My fingers press weakly against his skin, making him lean even more so into it.
I tried to smile at him, but the motion alone made pain spread across my skull and down my spine, squeezing my eyes shut against it.
Reminding me of the rest that screamed and demanded attention.
“Wha…” I wasn't so much a spoken word as it was a swallow gasp.
But it got answered non the last.
“The thing blew up, you stood right next to it.” Karl grumbled into my hand, feeling him squeeze my shoulders and hand just a little bit tighter.
“We had to dig you out from all the rubble, and once we found you…” Alex went on, but broke off.
I think I know the rest.
And yet, slowly, slowly memories returned.
At first clouded with fog, but getting more clear the more my heart remembers how to properly work again.
The lack of a beating heart that now hurts and beats slightly out of tune
The still motion of my lungs that now work hard with every rise and fall of my burning chest.
I was dead, but I also was somewhere!
Not the afterlife, but in the past. In Karl's past.
Opening my eyes once more, two faces looked worried down at me, but relaxed slightly again after I looked at them.
Should I tell them? Or at least Karl?
Not now, not as long as even one word steals away all my precious air and energy.
It takes the others a few minutes to catch up to us.
Medical equipment and lectures at the ready.
I was given additional oxygen to breathe and a shock blanket, while someone watched me closely and monitored my vitals while they took care of Karl.
He apparently had a rather nasty wound on his leg from the encounter.
He wasn't all too happy to leave my side, but went after making sure I was in good hands.
Now he sat a bit aways from me on the floor. Gritting his teeth as Umber Eyes gave him emergency stitches.
Sitting on a huge slab of toppled ceiling near the far side of the wall, leaning against a creat that someone helpfully placed there for me.
The machine had blown half of the huge laboratory out and potentially more of the building itself - is it even still safe for us to stay here?
The golden evening sun flooded the broken room, giving everything a calm and almost holy glow, despite the chaos.
The more I sit here, the more I think this whole thing that happened while I was gone was but my neurons dying.
It happens. I heard about it.
How could I even be able to travel back in time otherwise? With or without my body non the last.
My train of thought was interrupted by shouting and arguing from the hallway.
Chris pushed a handcuffed researcher through the frame, who fumbled not to fall face first into a handful of glass.
I didn't pay attention to what they argued about, but focused to yust calmly breathe regularly.
Until a very surprised “What? Who?!” from the researcher made me look up.
He was looking around the room.
Taking everyone in for a second before his eyes finally landed on me.
Dried blood was running from one ear.
His bald head crisscross with scratches, but otherwise unharmed, if dirty.
Something sparked in his eyes. Excitement, euphoria, curiosity, right before he bolted upright and rushed towards me.
Chris caught him before he crossed even half the way.
He trashed in the iron hold that was Chris’ hand. Before he gave up and resulted to shout at me.
“You! Where were You? What did you see?! You have to tell me!”
Leaning away from the shouting, Chris bodily drags him away, back out into the hall. Which didn't make him stop demanding his answer.
Only once he was gone for good, did quiet finally return.
“What did he mean by that”? Tundra inquired as she stopped next to me.
All I could was shrug, taking the oxygen mask from my face.
“I don't know.”
Which is not true.
I vaguely remembered the documents and diagrams.
Quantum. Resurrection.
The glowing thing inside the huge mechanism.
That's what they were working on. They wanted to send someone back in time, but they seemed to have trouble bringing them back again.
Until Karl that is.
Looking over to him, he was watching me, with an almost passive face.
That was until he made a quick flurry of motions with his hands, one of which was a familiar one.
Hands Before his chest, before opening them outward with a flick, like a bird, right before grinning at me.
Karl did that one! The younger version of him!
My legs moved to stand, but I was stopped by Canine, who was still monitoring me. Scolding me from moving too much around in my state.
Frowning, I glanced back towards Karl, who looked overly smug with himself as he chatted with Alex, who offered him a bottle of water.
He's gonna have to explain a lot of things once I'm better again!