Work Text:
A hug.
A hug was all he got, with a simple goodbye and stay safe.
All he got for being there for seven years was a hug. A simple goodbye, and stay safe.
Buck felt like he has been punched in every part of his body. His arms feeling so heavy he doesn't know how he got the strength to take them off Eddie. His voice not loud enough that he's sure Eddie doesn't hear the goodbye and drive safe. His face not allowing even a smirk. Because you smile when you are happy.
Buck doesn't think he'll be happy ever again once Eddie crosses the state line.
They stare for a moment and Buck thinks he'll stay. That it only took Buck showing up, offering a snack for a ride to change every dumb thought about leaving.
That he won't leave Buck. That he'll choose Buck.
But he gets a hug, a simple goodbye, and stay safe.
And it takes everything he has not to drop to the ground and scream. Beg. To call Eddie an idiot for even thinking about leaving him. But he doesn't. He nods and says a goodbye no one can hear.
And he watches Eddie walk to the truck, and it's the longest eighteen seconds of his life. And each second he remembers it all.
1
The moment he first laid eyes on Eddie
2
The first time he meant Chris, picking him up after the earth quake
3
Chris at the station after Eddie's grandma broke her hip, The laugh that will forever haunt his dreams now
4
Introducing Eddie to Carla
5
Watching both his boys mourn Shannon
6
Having Eddie there for him after the ladder truck
7
The tsunami
8
Still getting to see Chris
9
Losing them both because he was selfish
10
Getting them back
11
Realizing he wanted to kiss Eddie for the first time
12
Tasting Eddies blood
13
Telling the one of the most important kid in his life that his father was shot, and learning he was ok in the same moment
14
realizing he was in love with his best friend
15
Learning he would get his best friends son, if he lost his best friend
16
Getting struck by lightning and seeing a world without his boys in it
17
Started living in a world where one of his boys started living in a different state, and he couldn't stop it
18
Found out he was in a world where he was about to lose the other one.
Eddie opens the car door and doesn't look back.
Eddie gets in the car and doesn't look back.
Buck feels a crack in his heart when the car starts.
Buck feels it shatter when he sees it move.
And he can feel the exact moment it completely shatters when Eddie still doesn't look back.
This is what he gets for seven years. Being a best friend. Being someone who was always there to help. He's left by an empty house that holds so many memories, but he can't make any more. Left by a person that had every chance to own his heart. But without meaning to, just broke it.
He almost calls him to come back. To say everything he should have before. To stop him.
But his phone dings, and its a message from Chris.
He throws his phone before he looks at the message.
That's why he doesn't call him back.
That's why he keep it all deep inside.
That's why he doesn't stop him.
Because if he stays for Buck, he leaves Chris.
And Buck would rather be left before being the reason Chris is left.
So he cries. For everything he had. For what he could've had. And what he wanted so badly.
And holds onto the last memory he can have.
A hug, a simple goodbye, and stay safe.