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Ruby slumped against the wall of the ship.
Uncle Qrow was in the front with Weiss and Maria, Blake and Yang were napping on one bench, team JNR were asleep in a pile in the corner with Oscar napping on the last spare bench.
Atlas was a long way away, longer than she’d realised. Everywhere seemed to be longer than she realised. Haven had been so much further from Patch than she’d imagined, and Argus had... well it had been a sleeper train with a set time, but the crash had made it longer. Then they’d been delayed by Cordovin, and now it was still another day’s flight before they hit Solitas.
She rested her head against the metal.
It hurt.
She could feel her pulse behind her eyes, sharp and jagged. Every little tremble of the ship triggered a stabbing pain, but she couldn’t rest.
She couldn’t calm down yet.
Between the giant robot and the leviathan, she was exhausted. Beyond exhausted.
She’d been exhausted since Beacon, since she’d woken up from her three week nap to find out Pyrrha really was gone, that the people who did so much damage had escaped, that she’d turned a monster to stone. Then it had been crossing Anima, fighting for Haven, the truth from Jinn, the Apathy...
It was all just exhausting.
But they pressed on anyway.
It hadn’t just been her, they’d all been through it, some of them worse than her. She hadn’t lost an arm, or been stabbed, or hunted by some maniacal ex-partner or forced to go through her ruined hometown and fight the grimm that killed her parents or... she’d gotten off easy, really.
She had to take care of her team, she was the leader, it was her job.
She forced her eyes open and scanned the ship again. Everyone was fine, they were all fine.
They had the lamp, they were on their way to Atlas, to allies and to help.
General Ironwood would help them, he was uncle Qrow’s friend, he’d always been nice to them, he’d helped during the fall of Beacon, he’d sent Yang a new arm. Once they were in Atlas and safe and with people they could trust, she could rest.
They'd thought they could trust Professor Lionheart though. They'd thought they could trust him, and he’d killed so many Huntsmen. He'd betrayed them all, sold them out. Was Ironwood any more trustworthy than Lionheart? She didn’t know. Unlike Lionheart, she’d met him before, and he’d seemed nice then. He'd been kind, supportive, and his students had all said nice things about him. He'd helped during the Battle of Beacon, hands on, not just from behind a screen or giving orders far away. He'd saved her life, and the lives of other students and civilians. He'd never given her a reason not to trust him.
Weiss seemed to trust him, as did Uncle Qrow.
Uncle Qrow had trusted Lionheart.
Why was this all such a mess?
She pressed her palms into her eyes, wishing the throbbing would go away. At least then she’d be able to think more clearly.
It had been fine when they’d first left Argus, but a few hours into their journey and now every flicker of the lights had agony lancing through her skull. Every noise, every jolt of turbulence, had her wincing, which only made her aching body ache worse too.
She was so tired.
Everything ached, and she couldn’t tell what was from the robot and what was just sheer exhaustion. It wasn’t like the apathy, it wasn’t hollow or empty tiredness, it was bone deep aching, like the energy had been beaten out of her, dragged out violently.
She was just so tired.
“Ruby.”
She pulled her hand away from one eye, cracking it open to see Maria standing over her, holding a bottle of water, an energy bar and a few little tablets.
“Yeah?”
“Eat this, and drink all of the water, then take these.”
She blinked slowly, Maria’s words taking a second to process.
“What?”
“Your head’s killing you, I’d bet? Body aching too?”
“I... yeah?”
“You’ve just channelled a lot of energy through your eyes, though all of you. We act as a conduit of the light, but it can take our energy too as it passes though us, or it’s all from us. I’ve never been entirely sure, but I suppose it doesn’t matter. Still, I've been where you are now. Eat something sugary, get some fluids in you, a few painkillers, trust me, it’ll do you a world of good.”
That... made sense, actually.
“Does it get easier?”
“Using this energy, the toll it takes on the body? Short answer, yes.”
“Long answer?”
“The more energy you use, the more it’ll hurt. Thats why you barely felt what you used for the apathy, but the Leviathan and all the grimm around it hurt so much now.”
“And why the Wyvern at Beacon knocked me out entirely.”
“Exactly. It gets easier, but it will always take a toll. You just have to be able to manage that. And you’ve done well, Ruby. We've still got 16 hours until we get to Atlas, take these, then try to get some sleep.”
“Thank you, Maria.”
Sleep sounded like a good idea.
Maria had been a silver eyed warrior for a long time, Ruby was willing to trust her judgement on this.
And the energy bar was cookie flavoured. Little wins, Ruby, little wins.