Chapter Text
Buck lets his forehead thump defeatedly against the cool, laminate countertop in his sister's breakroom. It's not long until a warm mug finds its way into his hands, outstretched before him, or that comforting hands make their way to rub reassuring circles along his back.
Yeah. It's that bad.
"Hey, look at it this way: it's a queer rite of passage!"
Buck groans at Josh's attempt to soften the problem at hand.
"I don't want this one. Can't I have a more fun rite of passage?" he mumbles into the hard surface before finally lifting his head and standing to face Maddie and Josh. "Like making out at the Pride Parade. Something less life-shattering, please."
Because why would anyone choose to fall in love with their best friend if they had the option? He'd like a different choice.
Josh chuckles at the request. "I'm not your gay fairy godmother handing out wishes, Buck."
"Then what good are you even for?" he says, crossing his arms as Maddie pulls him into a hug.
"I'm just glad you finally figured it out."
Buck figured it out weeks ago, in fact. It was as he sat on his best friend's couch, preparing to lose him to Texas, that the realization hit him like a Mac truck. But at least then, there had been a solution. It was a horrible, awful, painful solution. Still, at least Eddie moving meant lower odds of Buck accidentally letting Eddie know, or being weird, or, you know, completely destroying their friendship and, in turn, Buck's life.
It's for that reason Buck had turned all of his attention to finding Eddie and Chris the perfect, accessible home near Chris' school in El Paso. It's why he bit back all of his own anger, and fear, and longing to instead encourage Eddie through the tough nights of him wrestling with his decision.
Buck was all ready to live with two-thirds of his heart so far away that he wasn't sure he'd survive it. But then, mercifully, agonizingly, things changed.
It turns out that Christopher was... Well, Chris was pretty upset when he learned that Eddie was planning on selling their LA home to move to El Paso. Eddie got an earful. But at least it was more opening up than Chris had done during the entirety of his months stay in El Paso, and father and son finally had the heart-to-heart they'd been needing all along.
Chris is coming home. He's staying just a little longer now until his school's semester ends, but their-- Eddie's son is coming back! Eddie is over the moon! Buck is ecstatic!
But...
"How in the world am I supposed to not screw this up?"
"Maybe you should just tell him instead of running from it," Maddie reasons.
"No way!"
"Look, I'm just saying, you guys both care so much about each other that it might be worth putting it on the table."
"Maddie, Eddie is the straightest man I know!"
Josh's eyes widen as he sips his coffee, and he and Maddie share a look.
"Buck, you were straight as of 7 months ago," Maddie reminds him.
"But this is different. I think I've got to stay away from Eddie."
"And that won't be at all more suspicious and out of the ordinary than just telling him?"
Buck ignores her as he pulls up Grindr on his phone. "Maybe I'll date more. You know what they say about getting over people."
"Ew, Buck! I don't want to think about that!"
He shrugs and then updates his "About Me" on the spot: "They say the best way to get over someone is by getting under someone else. Or on top of. I'm vers so it doesn't really matter. SAFE only."
Clever. To the point. That's got to work.
No need to burden Eddie with the weight of anybody's sexuality crisis.
"Holy crap! Why did you buy so much juice, Dad?"
Eddie has the phone propped up precariously on the counter while he loads the groceries into the fridge.
"Watch your mouth," he warns halfheartedly. He's still too warm and floaty with the knowledge that Chris's flight home is booked for the end of the semester for it to sound serious. Christopher, in all his teenage glory, is unphased in the least bit. He continues to gawk at him expectantly, waiting for a plausible explanation for his dad's apparent new addiction.
Alright. Eddie supposes he did overdo it with the juice. Juuust a little bit.
He's got orange juice, apple juice, grape juice, watermelon-cran-pineapple juice, and he's even got some fresh lemons and raspberries to try his hand at homemade raspberry lemonade.
He shrugs. "I'm trying new things. Seeing what sticks."
"Ugh! My big-headed brother is sooo boring, " he hears from somewhere off-camera.
"Ah. Adriana is there, I see." Chris nods and then shifts so that Adriana can enter the frame. "I miss you, too, hermanita."
"Yeah, yeah. You can hold the pleasantries. I've got tea."
He stands upright again and snatches up his phone.
"You'll never believe who we saw at the concert in the park!" His brow raises with suspicion. He knows that tone.
"Who?"
"Your boyfriend , Angel, from middle school!" she teases, voice sing-song and annoying. He rolls his eyes.
"Hahaha, very funny." But his heartbeat picks up at the mention of the name, and nostalgia comes rushing back. "Woah. Talk about a blast from the past..."
"Was he like your Buck?" Chris asks.
"Never ever let Buck hear you say that. My ankles are still recovering from making friends with Tommy," he only half jokes. "How is Angel?"
"I don't know. I didn't even get to talk to him! He looked like he was trying to catch up to his kid, so I didn't want to run him down. But I couldn't believe it! It was like seeing a ghost. He looked fine as hell, though. You know Angelito was always a sweet little cutie patotie with those dimples."
Eddie visibly cringes at that phrasing. He doesn't know why, but it suddenly makes him physically uncomfortable, his muscles coiling like he wants to fight. Like he needs to defend. He recognizes it's irrational, so he chooses to focus on the good part.
"Oh, good. I'm glad he settled down and found a wife and kids. Man, I can't believe it's been like... What? Almost 20 years? Shoot, I don't think I've talked to Angel since he transferred schools once we got to high school."
"Yeah, but that was mom's fault. You know she was a tyrant with the phones."
He frowns at the memory. "Chris, be lucky you have a cell phone. Back in the day, we had landlines. Anyone could pick up the line from the other room just to listen in. Your grandma was notorious for that."
"You check my phone, Dad."
"Yeah, but that's to make sure no one's peer pressuring you to take drugs or skip school, not to monitor everything you say and make sure you aren't being 'ungodly,' " he says sardonically as he goes back to loading the juice with a little more vigor than before.
"Well, you did get a cell phone and immediately got a girl pregnant," Adriana quips.
He rolls his eyes. What's absurd is that is probably his parent's exact logic around the whole thing.
"Yeah, it was the cell phones and the privacy. Had nothing to do with the fact that the godly don't believe in sex education."
"Can I be ungodly?" Chris asks, and Adriana laughs.
"Sure, Chris. As long as you talk to me about whatever ungodly thing you're thinking of doing first to make sure you're doing it safely and thoughtfully. Or Buck. Whoever you're comfortable with."
Chris's gleeful smile makes him look 8 again. Eddie prays he still has some years ahead of him before Chris starts getting into the shit he was getting into (behind his parents' backs) around his age.
"Speaking of your friend, Buck, I know he must be thrilled you're staying in LA," Adriana says suggestively.
Eddie doesn't know what she could possibly be suggesting about him and Buck , so he chooses to ignore it. Instead, he frowns at his phone when a message preview pops up. It's from Buck in response to whether or not he wants to hang out tonight.
Sorry, friend, I have a date tonight.
"What's the matter?" Adriana asks when his frown deepens.
"Nothing. Guess I'll just sit at home. By myself. And drink juice," he scoffs.