Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Katsuki

Two days ago,

Block day.

I walked into the art room without hesitation, because I already knew he wouldn’t be there.

After sending all those shitty messages and blocking me, I wouldn’t be surprised if he skipped class for a week or even a month.

That’s what cowards do, after all.

My urge was to disappear too. But unlike him, it wasn’t because I wanted to hide from him or any ridiculous crap like that. I just wasn’t in the mood to sit through classes or deal with people’s cheerful good morning. I could feel the blood behind my eyes from rolling them so hard just imagining that annoying scene, and I felt like I could easily punch the first idiot who even breathed near me.

That was the level of my mood that morning.

But I’ve always known how to swallow my emotions dry.

I’m not a weakling like him, after all. I have my responsibilities, and I can’t let the team down just because that jerk dumped me.

Even if that dump was THE dump.

And I don’t know what made me, after an intense training session—where I’m sure half the team mentally cursed me and my entire family line—leave the locker room and head straight to the art room in the building.

I didn’t even want to think too much about what I was doing, honestly.

It wasn’t like I expected to find him there.

I really didn’t expect it. In fact, I didn’t even want that.

But for some reason, my restless chest led me there.

And suddenly, I found myself in the middle of that empty room—because the club activities had surely already ended—with my hands in the pockets of my sweatpants and my eyes fixed on nowhere.

It wasn’t like our old school’s art room. It was far from it. This one was bigger, the windows were wider, the location was better too. You had a generous view of the campus and even the field where we have team practices. The materials looked brand new just by glancing at them. At Shigaraki, students had to buy their own supplies because the principal didn’t invest in the art club.

He must be happier here, right?

Wait, what the hell am I thinking?

I shook my head and turned to leave. But then my eyes fell on a random canvas left on an easel.

I got closer. I squinted. It was a rabbit eating a carrot, except the rabbit looked like an alien with a massive head, and the carrot looked like a dick in the poor thing’s mouth. A cute painting… if it had been done by a 5-year-old with cerebral palsy.

I let out a laugh.

He’d do something way better than this, I ended up saying out loud, and right after, I slapped my own face.

I’m losing it.

“What the fuck am I doing…?” I muttered to myself after sighing, scratching my head with my hand. “Fuck it.”

But when I turned toward the door again, a pink mop of hair was passing through it at the same moment. She was carrying what looked like hundreds of blank canvases and suddenly froze, her eyes widening as she saw me standing in the middle of that empty room.

Oh, I remember her.

I think she’s friends with that shitty nerd.

“Oh…!” she exclaimed, surprised. “H-hi, Bakugou! Didn’t expect to see you here…” She set the canvases on a wide table and put her hands on her hips, looking at me with a smile. “Looking for Izuku? He didn’t come today—”

“Yeah, I know.” I adjusted my backpack on my shoulder and started walking. “No need to tell him I was here. I’m leaving—”

“Wait!” She stepped in front of me, and that alone made the vein in my forehead throb. “Look, he forgot some materials here, I left them in the draw—”

“I didn’t come here because of that shitty nerd, can you stop talking about him?” I snapped, with zero patience. “What, are we glued together or something? Shut the fuck up.”

She stared at me, shocked, not understanding.

We locked eyes in silence for a few seconds until I huffed and rolled my eyes, ready to brush past her again.

But her next words made me think she really has no idea who she’s dealing with.

“Then why’d you come?”

I smirked.

Because I don’t even know the answer to that question.

And that pisses me off like hell.

I stepped closer to her and, squinting, threw out without blinking:

“And why do you think that’s any of your damn business?” The girl stared at me, frozen. “Being friends with Deku doesn’t make you my friend, so stay in your lane. I hate people like you who talk to me like they know me when I don’t even remember your damn name.”

And that was enough to finally shut her up in dead silence.

Or so I thought.

I had already passed her and was almost through the door when her last words, spoken in a calm and serene tone, hit me like brass knuckles to the face—and it was ironic how words said so gently could throw me off in a way that even the harsh ones I’d just spat out couldn’t.

“You like him, don’t you?”

My stomach sank.

My heart raced so fast it burned my insides with deep agony.

And that was it.

That’s how she got my full attention.

Slowly, almost in slow motion, I turned back to her.

And she smiled, without showing her teeth.

“Now I think it’s my business, hm?”

“You like him.” With his teeth stained with his own blood, Kirishima said, laughing.

I, not knowing what to make of it, stared at him, my own hands also stained with his blood.

His voice was so weak and hoarse he barely had strength, but even so, he made a point to repeat the sentence:

“You like him.”

I gripped the strap of my backpack tightly between my fingers.

And, with heavy steps, I went at her full force.

“Listen here, who do you think—”

“Why all this anger?”

I stopped dead in my tracks, almost as if she were a witch casting spells on me.

Once again, her calm words made me freeze mid-step.

And I stared at her, not knowing how to proceed. Or if I should even try to proceed at all.

I should just leave and let her talk to herself, but I couldn’t.

How does she know I like him? Did she figure it out on her own? Or did he figure it out and tell her? Do they talk about it, laughing at me behind my back? Then does she know about all the shit he did to me, the messages and everything? No, she seemed genuinely surprised by the way I talked about him earlier. But still…

I took a deep breath.

Shit.

And finally, I clicked my tongue against the roof of my mouth.

“You don’t know shit.” I said, now in a more restrained tone. “I don’t like that shitty nerd. Don’t meddle in what’s not your business, girl.”

“Relax, boy.” She echoed the term in a light mocking tone. She approached the wide table again and started sorting the canvases by size. “I’m not planning to snitch on you to Izuku. Besides, if it were me, I’d want the chance to confess my feelings myself.” She said without looking at me, speaking casually as if she were talking about what she had for breakfast.

Okay, so he doesn’t know anything. That gave me some relief, but it didn’t ease the anguish in my chest.

“And if I were him, I’d want to hear it from your own mouth too.”

I frowned and shook my head, letting out a nasal laugh.

“What the hell are you talk—”

“Come on, help me with this.” Suddenly, she dumped a stack of large canvases on me, and I had no choice but to hold them. I glared at her, pissed and shocked at her audacity. She, on the other hand, just laughed and, with the medium and small canvases in hand, headed to the cabinets at the back of the large room—now that I think about it, it was more like a studio, really.

Reluctantly, but seeing no way out, I followed her, huffing with rage.

What the hell was I doing there, anyway? And carrying all that crap? Screw it, I should just drop it and leave. Better yet, I should’ve just gone home after practice, damn it…

But deep down, I knew what was still keeping me there.

In silence, I helped her store all the materials in the cabinets. Every now and then, she glanced at my face and laughed. I caught my reflection in the window and saw my furrowed brows and pissed-off expression.

“That’s cute,” she said suddenly.

“What?”

“You’ve got that face, but you’re still helping me.”

“I didn’t have much choice, I guess.”

“Of course you did.”

“What was I supposed to do? Throw the canvases on the floor and stomp out?”

She laughed and turned to me after locking the cabinet. As if anyone would steal that crap, I wanted to say, but I kept the intrusive thought to myself.

“You want to know how I know, don’t you?”

I swallowed hard.

I kept looking at her, awkwardly, not knowing what to say.

Another laugh echoed through the room, and I, on the other hand, rolled my eyes.

Goddamn it.

“Am I that obvious?”

She smiled.

Fuck, that’s pathetic as hell.

It’s obvious to her, it was obvious to Kirishima…

Why isn’t it obvious only to that nerd?

Why does he keep saying I’m straight and don’t want anything with him?

No.

Actually, maybe he knows damn well.

Maybe it’s as obvious to him as it was to Kirishima and as it is to this weird girl in front of me.

But he just doesn’t want me.

And he’s incapable of being honest about it.

[Izu(de)ku]: I was doing fine before you showed up

[Izu(de)ku]: I don’t need you messing things up again

[Izu(de)ku]: please, leave me alone

I must’ve really caused you a lot of pain.

You’re afraid it’ll all happen again.

You think I’m to blame for everything that happened to you.

Maybe I am, but…

What was I supposed to do?

Should I have stayed away from you from the start? How could I have known people would turn on you like that? Should I have never entered your life?

Sorry, but that’s something I could never do.

Even if I knew how much you’d suffer because of me…

I could never let you go.

And I know that makes me awful.

And maybe you’re right to want to stay away.

But I still can’t understand why you hate me so much.

My intention was never to hurt you.

Do you really hold so much resentment and bitterness toward me?

I really…

Do I really deserve all your contempt like this?

I went after you time and time again. I tried to protect you as much as I could. I showed you that you meant more to me than anything else.

“They’re people who came into my life yesterday, Kacchan. But you… damn it, you…” What am I, Deku? Say it, say it already! “You’re my best friend.” And that was my ruin. That tore me apart more than any sentence I’d ever heard in my life. “What would happen to us if… if we did something this crazy? You really think we could wake up the next day and just brush it off like nothing happened?” Who cares? “You think our friendship would stay the same after that?”

First, you said that, but then…

“Please, stop. This is crazy, Kacchan.” Why? “Please, don’t push this anymore.” Why?! “Are you even hearing yourself? You’re straight, Kacchan. Straight! Do you really need someone to state the obvious? You’re just confused because of Ura—”

Then you said that.

You didn’t want to ruin our friendship, or you didn’t want it because you thought I didn’t really want it?

Nothing you said made sense, and in the end…

[Izu(de)ku]: forget everything that went down tonight

[Izu(de)ku]: don’t wanna to hear your excuses or reasons

[Izu(de)ku]: for both our sakes, Im telling you not to talk to me anymore

In the end, it ended like this.

If you didn’t want to be with me to “not ruin the friendship,” like you said at first, what’s the point, since you pushed me away anyway?

Then you changed your tune, saying I’m straight and confused.

I kissed you, damn it. I kissed you like I’d never kissed any girl before in my life. What kind of confused straight guy does that?

Do you really care about that? Or was it all just a big excuse to push me away?

If you really feel nothing for me, then why did you always look at me like that? Was it just lust?

Why did you call me back in the middle of the pool? I’d already given up after you dodged me so much, I was leaving and would’ve taken you home like I said I would…

So why did you call me and look at me with those pleading eyes?

What’s your problem, anyway?

“I'm done with this, Katsuki! I’m tired of being the sensible, patient one between us, I’m tired of being the guy who has to understand! It’s always me who has to deal with your crazy outbursts, then you vanish for days and come back all casual with an apology—but what’s the point of apologizing if that’s all you've got? I don’t want apologies—I want answers!”

Trying to understand you makes me sick too.

But I think I finally get it.

You just…

Yeah.

Your reasons don’t matter anymore.

Trying to understand what led you to do did this won’t change the ending.

The ending where you just threw me away like trash.

Yeah.

In the end, I think you just got tired of me.

“Don’t worry.” The girl’s voice echoed through the room again, pulling me back to the surface. And only then did I realize she was already on the other side, now organizing the brushes. “Your secret’s safe with me. In fact…”

She turned to me again and, with her hands on her hips and a suspiciously excited tone, said the most absurd thing of all:

“I think I could even be a big help to you, you know?”

I must’ve misheard.

Now I let out a genuine laugh.

“What’s that?”

“Yeah, why not? What’s the problem?”

She’s gotta be messing with me.

I think she still hasn’t realized that the direction this conversation’s taking is pissing me off like hell.

“And what are you gonna do?” I squinted. “Grab a banana, wrap it in plastic, and stick it in the freezer?”

Her eyebrow arched, and a mocking smile spread across her lips.

“Oh, so you’ve already looked up love-binding spells, huh? I hadn’t thought of that angle, but if you want, we can try.” She said, laughing.

Does she think I’m joking?

Does she think we’re buddies now, just because she knows my “secret”?

Now my blood really boiled.

“What’s your deal?”

The playful expression on her face faltered.

“What do you mean? I just—”

“You think this is what, a movie?” I took a few steps toward her, carelessly shoving a shitty chair out of my way. She flinched, her eyes widening at me. “I don’t even know you, who the hell do you think you are to think you can help me? Why would I accept your help? Do I look like I need your shitty help? Do I look like a fucking loser to you?”

With those big eyes of hers nearly popping out of her face, she swallowed hard. And she didn’t even try to open her mouth this time.

Now, yeah, it seems like she finally understood the gravity of the shitty situation she created.

“If you think you’re gonna get something out of this, forget it. In fact, do whatever the hell you want. If you wanna go running to tell him, go ahead, be my guest.” I adjusted the strap of my backpack on my shoulders. “It doesn’t make a damn difference to me.”

“Bakugou, I—”

“He doesn’t like me.”

Silence.

“He told me to get lost.” I let out a bitter laugh, shrugging. “And I don’t even know what the hell I’m doing here now.”

[Izu(de)ku]: please, just leave me alone

[Izu(de)ku]: this ain't a joke, and I’m not just saying shit

[Izu(de)ku]: if I really mean as much to you like you say, listen and respect what I’m asking

[Izu(de)ku]: honestly, you should go back to Shigaraki, that’s where you belong.

“You don’t know anything. Nothing. So don’t come at me with that stupid smile saying you’d be a big help to me, like it’s as easy as slipping him a fucking love letter and boom, problem solved.” I laughed in disbelief at the nonsense I was hearing, shaking my head. “It’s annoying how you treat this like it’s so simple. You talk like I’m an idiot. I hate people like you who think they’re close to me just because they know a few things about me. You don’t know me. You don’t know Deku either. You don’t know shit. Are you really arrogant enough to think your help would change anything?”

Still frozen, she stared at me, her body completely still.

“You know what? I’m not planning to fix shit. Because he doesn’t want to either. In fact, I think that son of a bitch is pretty happy with how things are now.” I let out a nasal laugh and looked out the window, watching the court get bathed in the orange hues of that late afternoon. It reminded me of everything that happened yesterday, especially that damn moment, on that same court, when I had the brilliant idea to confess to him that I wanted him. I sighed. “He made it crystal clear he’s not interested. Not only that, he also made it clear he doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore, as a friend or anything else…” Another pathetic laugh escaped me as my hands sank into my pockets. “Good for him, getting the happy ending he wanted so bad, huh?”

I turned my attention back to the shocked face of the girl a few meters away.

“So, as you can see, unless you’re telling me you’ve got a time machine shoved up your ass or something, your big help won’t be needed here.” I flashed a mocking smirk. “Anyway, this crap’s gone on long enough. I don’t even know why the hell I came here…” And once again, I was walking toward the exit, determined to ignore this lunatic for good and never set foot in this miserable place again. “Mind your own business and stay out of it.”

“I’m sorry.”

The sudden, almost desperate words made me stop in my tracks again.

Why doesn’t she just shut up?

And why am I still giving her attention?

With one eyebrow raised, I glanced at her over my shoulder.

Deep down, I was curious.

She pressed her lips together and finally sighed.

“You’re right, I… I don’t know you. And I’m not as close to Izuku as you are. I really don’t know anything, if I knew the situation was this… tense, I never would’ve talked the way I did, I just…”

She looked away for a second and then met my eyes again, risking a crooked half-smile.

“To be honest, you’re hot… okay, really hot, and I kinda had a thing for you at first, but after I realized who you were and that there was something going on between you two… I guess it clicked. I remembered when I was with Izuku in this room and saw him painti—”

She didn’t finish the sentence, which made me frown.

An awkward laugh left her lips, and she shook her head.

“Anyway, that’s… not the point now, but…” She clasped her hands behind her back. “I really like Izuku, a lot. And I think you’re a cool guy too, even though we haven’t even properly introduced ourselves, and I don’t know… I just… was trying to be your friend too, I guess…” She scratched the back of her neck, flashing a wide, sheepish grin. The fact that she couldn’t keep her hands still showed me her nervousness. “Guess my approach wasn’t the best, huh? Sorry.”

A strange feeling made my chest heavy.

Why are you apologizing? I’m the one who treated you like shit.

Sighing, I turned to face her fully. She, still embarrassed, had her hand on her neck and was looking at me with a smile that didn’t show her teeth.

“B-but I swear I don’t have a thing for you anymore!” she said suddenly, waving her hands frantically. My eyes widened. “I’m not a homewrecker, I swear. Friendship’s right here for me, look!” She stood on her tiptoes and stretched her hand up high. “And forget that big help nonsense, I just blurted out the first stupid thing that popped into my head. I’m nobody to help anyone, my love life’s a mess too, and… ugh, anyway. Sorry.”

With her head down, she fidgeted with her fingers like a kid. And I just stared at her in silence.

But I couldn’t hold it in.

The silence was broken by a laugh I couldn’t contain.

She looked up at me, confused. And the more puzzled and lost her expression got, the more I laughed.

Until, leaning on my own knees, I finally calmed down and straightened up, facing the question mark plastered on her face, still with a trace of an amused grin on mine.

“Got it. Your name… it’s Mina, right?”

~*~

After that day, we’d bump into each other here and there—more like she’d come up to me, to be honest—and we’d exchange a few words now and then. It was less a conversation and more a quick back-and-forth.

I didn’t quite get what her deal was, but her approaching me didn’t bother me either. Except when she’d swing by my practices sometimes. She didn’t stay long—because I’d kick her out if she did—just five minutes tops, shouting an annoying “GO, BAKUGOU” like a fangirl, which made me fire back a “GO TO HELL” in response. She’d just laugh and take off, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t be back half an hour later with her friends to pull the same crap.

That pissed me off because everyone started teasing, thinking something was going on between us, no matter how much I denied it.

“What, friends can’t cheer for each other?” she’d say when I told her to cut it out. “You know how guys can be such cavemen. They see a woman talking to a man and assume—”

“I don’t give a fuck what they think, just stop that shit.” I said, bringing the water bottle to my lips, quenching my thirst after another grueling practice—not that I’m complaining, since I’m the one to blame for it. “I hate people shouting my name.”

I’ve never liked that. I’ve never been a sociable person, but circumstances forced me to learn how to be. And I got used to it, accepted that reality, learned to deal with it. But I don’t want to give any more room for what happened at Shigaraki to happen again. The idea of that toxic mess repeating itself makes my stomach churn. I can’t stand overly friendly or smiley people coming at me. If someone says good morning, I get a chill down my spine.

Not that I think Mina’s like those people, but still, it’s annoying.

She watched me in silence for a few seconds before sighing.

“Sorry…” she said in a low tone. “I’ll stop. I didn’t know it really bothered you.”

I capped the bottle and tossed it into my backpack.

“Now you do. And stop apologizing all the time, that’s annoying t—”

“Does it worry you that people might talk about us having something and it gets back to Izuku?”

My eyes widened.

I stared at her.

Okay.

Deep down, way deep down, that’s something that crossed my mind too.

He’ll really think he was right all along when he said I’m just a confused straight guy and that I’m nothing but a—

Wait.

So what?

Who cares what that asshole thinks?

Because I don’t.

Yeah.

I definitely don’t care.

Fuck it.

He made his choice, told me to move on with my life.

I bet he doesn’t even care, actually. I think he’d even be relieved thinking I’ve gotten over him.

I huffed.

“That’s another one I couldn’t give less of a fuck about.” I grabbed my backpack from the bleachers, slinging it over my shoulders with force. “He can think I’m the pimp running Japan’s biggest brothel if he wants. I hope that asshole and whatever he thinks can go to hell. I don’t give a shit, got it? I want him to fuck off with those two limp-dick friends of his, who look like vultures circling rotten meat.” I laughed, rolling my eyes as I remembered how those two follow Deku around like he’s the sun and they’re planets that need to orbit him to survive. Fucking parasites. To top it off, it was the second day Deku skipped class, and I hadn’t seen his little buddies around either. Wouldn’t surprise me if they skipped too to hang with him or something. Man, just thinking about it makes my fist itch to smash the first idiot who crosses my path… “Seriously, one goes around dressed like the Canadian flag with that tacky hair, and the other looks like he’s decomposing and they forgot to bury him. Only a blind asshole like Deku, that four-eyed fuck, would want anything with weirdos like them—”

My eyes widened when I heard a low laugh reach my ears.

Shit. Why didn’t I keep my trap shut?

I glared at Mina, seeing her hand over her mouth, trying to stifle her laughter.

The twitch in my left eye kicked in, and I wanted to die—but not before taking her with me.

“Oh, I get it.” She couldn’t hold it and burst out laughing. Huffing, I left her behind and started marching toward the locker room with heavy steps. Fuck, fuck, fuck. “I can tell you really don’t care. Keep it up!”

“SHUT THE HELL UP!”

Shit, why’s my face burning like this?

What the fuck!

I gotta be more careful with the crap that comes out of my mouth.

~*~

“Hey, Bakugou!” I was about to enter the campus building when the voice, now all too familiar to me—unfortunately—called out.

Here we go.

Rolling my eyes, I turned to the girl, who was skipping toward me with a grin from ear to ear.

“Guess what! I snagged front-row seats in the bleachers, so I’ll be watching you guys up close on Sunday!”

“What about Mario? Where’s he gonna go?”

“What Mario?”

“Mario who smashed you behind the row.” Despite the lame joke, I was dead serious. Shoving my hands into my pockets, I leaned my hip against the iron railing, watching the crowd file in, all caught up in their own conversations. The girl shot me a death glare. “How’d you even manage that? As far as I know, you can’t reserve seats.”

It’s Friday, the game’s on Sunday. Every time someone stops me to talk about this damn game, I’m half a second from kicking them into orbit. I’m a bundle of nerves over this crap, and to top it off, Izuku’s really vanished from the face of the Earth, like the spineless coward he is. He hasn’t shown his face at school since the day he blocked me—it pisses me off that I’m thinking about this more than I should, but I just can’t help it. Not that I’m planning to track him down for a chat or anything, screw him, but I can’t stop my eyes from scanning every new room I walk into, looking for him. And that’s another thing that’s pissing me off like hell.

Talking like this makes it sound even more pathetic, like he’s been skipping class for a month, when I’m pretty sure it hasn’t even been three days.

I need to let this shit go.

It’s not like the situation’s gonna change, Katsuki. So let this shit go.

“I’ve got a friend who’s getting there early, and she said she’ll save a spot for me! You just wait, during the game you won’t be able to stop me from cheering! And I’m definitely bringing my pom-poms!” She struck a ridiculous cheerleader pose, one hand on her hip, the other raised high, smiling and wiggling her fingers like an actual cheerleader. I huffed, rolling my eyes.

“And why the hell are you so excited, like I’m supposed to be thrilled about this crap?”

“Didn’t I tell you? Before I joined the art club, I was a cheerleader!” She completely ignored what I said and started rambling like one of those dolls with a broken battery. “Ugh, I’m so pumped! Especially because if you guys win, there’s definitely gonna be a party at Mirio’s place after! His house is huge, have you seen it?” My God, doesn’t she ever shut up? And why am I still standing here listening to this crap? “I’m sure you guys are gonna win, you’re giving everything to that team! I do feel a little bad for the guys sometimes, but—wait, isn’t that Izuku?”

And I hated how my neck nearly snapped when I whipped my head around faster than the girl from The Exorcist.

When I realized what a pathetic fool I was being, I huffed and, scratching the back of my neck to pretend I’d only turned like that because of a stiff neck—which was even more pathetic—I hurried inside the building with heavy strides, all while being followed by the girl, who was cackling.

“Hey, I really saw him! I’m not kidding!” she shouted, running after me. “But he must’ve been in a hurry, he was running super fast!”

Man, she’s lucky she’s a girl, or her face would’ve met my fist by now.

Why am I still giving this girl the time of day?

“You should’ve seen your face,” she said when she finally caught up, walking side by side with me. “I know you don’t wanna talk about it, but why don’t you try talking to him, Kacchan? I bet it’s not anything so serious that a conversation can’t—”

The deafening bang that echoed when my clenched fist slammed into one of the lockers drew the attention of every student around, but I didn’t give a damn.

Who the hell does she think she is?

With a deep crease between my brows, I turned to the girl, who had a startled look on her face and wide eyes fixed on me.

“Never…” I hissed through gritted teeth in a low tone. “Call me that again. Ever. Got it?”

Ignoring her shocked expression and the gawking crowd, I turned my back and stormed up the stairs toward my classroom.

Yeah, this is how I want it.

This is how I want things to be.

The fewer people who like me, the better.

The fewer people who want to get close to me, the better.

I don’t need this crap.

~*~

My heart raced the moment I saw him.

“You’re telling me it's not hilarious how a dumbass like him can’t see where he's going even with four eyes?”

Those green golf ball eyes widened at me from behind the round frames of his glasses, like he was some innocent kid being cornered by the school bully.

Ha.

Pathetic as fuck.

I felt the heavy atmosphere around me, along with everyone’s shocked stares. But they didn’t exist to me. All I saw was the green-haired, scrawny kid sprawled on the ground, looking at me like he was the victim in this whole shitty situation, like he hadn’t sent me all those nasty messages, like I was the villain in this crap story.

The tightness in my chest and the knot in my stomach didn’t match the indifferent front I was putting up in front of him.

My hand was itching.

Some part of me twisted with the pathetic urge to reach out, grab his hand, and pull him up.

But that weak-ass desire was nothing compared to the boiling urge to just stomp on that big head of his until I heard his skull crack.

I took a step to the side and walked past his body on the ground like he was nothing.

Because, from now on, he’s gonna be nothing to me.

That’s what you want, right, Deku?

I’ve always been good at granting your wishes, after all.

“Watch where you’re going, or you might end up getting stepped on next time, you shitty nerd.”

And, with my hands itching in my pockets, I walked off, without looking back.

His dumbass face was priceless, and for a second, I felt satisfied pulling that reaction out of him. I wanted him to feel even a tiny fraction of what he made me feel when my eyes read and reread those shitty messages.

But the moment I turned my back, all my blood rushed to my damn head, and my heart started pounding in my fucking ears.

I clenched my hands hard in my pockets and gritted my jaw, ignoring the confused comments from my teammates, just like I ignored the urge to turn around and go back to him to spit out everything that was choking me inside.

What pissed me off the most was his look.

That wide eyed, innocent look, like he didn’t expect this.

Like I’m the bad guy here.

Haha, that’s fucking hilarious.

You’re the one who wanted this. You practically begged for it, actually. Why are you looking at me like that? Did you really think I’d just ignore your existence like you asked? You think I could be as pathetic as you?

I guess you’ve been the victim for so long, Deku…

That you actually got used to it.

~*~

Sunday,

First game of the state championship.

The noise outside was deafening.

“Hey, everyone! Focus up.” Mirio shouted after pulling on his uniform jersey, clapping his hands to get the team’s attention. Sighing, he propped his foot on the wooden bench in the middle of the locker room, giving each of us a serious look, like he was trying to instill confidence in us. To me, it just seemed like he was using that time to rehearse his next lines in his head.

I leaned back against my locker after shutting it, crossed my arms, and waited for him to launch into what I knew would be the classic captain’s motivational speech. I’d been in this position before.

“I know everyone’s given blood, sweat, and tears to be here today.”

Here we go.

I’ve always hated these coach-style speeches. Yeah, I’d been in this spot before, but I only ever said what was necessary. To me, if all the work we put in on the court wasn’t enough to motivate them to win this damn thing today, a handful of pretty words sure as hell wouldn’t cut it.

“I know it’s been tough, and we had to change our whole strategy at the last minute…” I caught a few glances from some of the guys directed at me, but I ignored them. “But I’m really optimistic about the change, more than I’ve been in a long time, to be honest. We’re coming off a string of embarrassing losses, you all know that. Losses, including against this guy right here.” With a playful grin, he nodded toward me, drawing laughs from the team. “But today’s the day for you to show everything I know you’ve got inside you, and also to take out all the hate you felt for Bakugou on the court today.” Louder laughs this time. I rolled my eyes, though a crooked smirk tugged at the corner of my lips. Sero, one of the guys on the team, slapped my shoulder while laughing. My smirk vanished, and I shot him a death glare. “I know he was tough, there were times even I got scared by all his… let’s call it willpower.” He chuckled. “But one thing’s undeniable. You can’t argue there’s been a massive improvement in all of you since this guy showed up. And I’m including myself in that. Honestly, I don’t think I knew what real basketball was until he joined the team.”

Mirio gave me such a sappy look that I had to yawn to cut through the mushy vibe in the air. Everyone laughed, even him.

“I believe we have everything it takes to break this losing streak today, and I’m counting on every one of you to make my words a reality!” His brows knitted together, and a determined grin spread across his face, infecting everyone in the room. “LET’S GO, YUEI!”

And they all cheered, hugging each other.

I’m good right here in my corner, thanks.

When Sero came to hug me too, I slapped my hand on his face and shoved him away, huffing. If there was one thing I liked about the Shigaraki team, it was that they didn’t have all this emotional crap.

“Now, I think Katsuki might want to say a few words too, since he’s been as much a captain to this team as I have.”

And then all those excited eyes landed on me, along with Mirio’s, who was subtly waving his hand at me with a crooked grin, like he was saying, go on, say something, they’ll love it!

What a circus.

Seriously, I have to do this?

I’m not even the captain of this crap.

I trained these guys, Mirio, and you gave the speech. That’s balanced enough, don’t you think?

Sighing in defeat under all those expectant stares, I pushed off the locker but kept my arms crossed and my expression screaming, wrap this up, for the love of God.

“Fine. I don’t know what you’re expecting me to say, but whatever.” I shrugged. “As you all know, our game today is against Shiketsu.”

If I were still playing for Shigaraki, I honestly wouldn’t have anything to worry about. I’d been on that team for years, I shaped those guys, molded them to my style of play. Shiketsu was never a match for us, but now it’s a different story. I dropped into Yuei out of nowhere and had barely any time to prep them. Mirio’s all upbeat because he’s probably never seen his team play as well as they do now—I bet for him, the level the team’s at is already a win. But I know damn well there’s still a lot to improve here, so I honestly don’t know what to expect from this game.

“These guys aren’t our biggest concern, there are tougher teams coming up.” I said seriously, eyeing each of them carefully. “But they’re not pushovers either. From what I know, you’ve never beaten them before.” They exchanged looks, and I saw a few scratching the backs of their necks. Mirio gestured for me to ease up, his expression saying something like, hey, is this supposed to motivate them or make them leave here crying? “But now I’m here, and I want to see every one of you giving it your all on that court today. Everything. I didn’t train you like a damn pig being whipped to come here and lose.” I furrowed my brow. “I don’t accept losing to these shitty losers. Not now, not ever. Got it?”

A loud, annoyingly booming “YES” echoed through the locker room.

“Good. Then I want to see everyone out there tearing Shiketsu’s ass apart tonight, or I’ll be the one tearing yours.”

And suddenly, Sero screamed in my face:

“LET’S FUCK THIS SHIT UP!”

Before I could beat his ass for it, everyone, including him, stormed out of the locker room yelling, hyped up like they had a vibrator on max power shoved up their butts.

Deep down, I wished I was as pumped as they were, but something was holding me back.

I honestly didn’t feel the least bit excited about this game. Which was unbelievable to say out loud, considering all the effort I put into this crap. It was like my body was here, but my mind was somewhere else.

And that pissed me off like hell.

Either way, I knew that once I stepped into the gym and the buzzer sounded, all this would fade, and all my eyes would see were the ball and the hoop.

Because losing was never an option for me.

Sighing, I was about to head out too when Mirio’s hand landed on my shoulder, catching me off guard. I turned and met his gentle smile, the kind that didn’t show his teeth.

“Hey, I know we haven’t known each other long, but I can tell something’s going on with you. You’re different today.” That sudden comment made my eyes widen. What? “I also know it’s none of my business, and you’d probably punch me if I tried asking about it. But I hope you’re as confident in our team as I am.” He squeezed my shoulder harder. “And I gotta say, that confidence is thanks to you.”

His smile spread across his cheeks, turning his eyes into mere slits on his face. My eyes widened as I watched him leave the locker room ahead of me. Before stepping out, though, he turned back to me one last time.

“I don’t know what the outcome of today’s game will be either, but I want you to know that, whatever it is, I’m grateful to have you on this team. And you can bet the other guys feel the same. Even if they say you’re a pain and all that.” He laughed.

I didn’t know what to make of everything I was hearing, but somehow, something in me warmed up.

And suddenly, his sweet look gave way to a fierce, determined one, and his gentle smile turned bizarrely menacing.

“Let’s go tear these fuckers apart, man!”

~*~

The buzzer announcing the end of the game blared as my feet hit the ground after I slammed the ball into the hoop with all my strength, meters above us.

And suddenly, the tense silence from seconds ago gave way to a colossal uproar.

Somehow, in a way I couldn’t even explain, we actually won that damn thing—I know I’m good, but one guy alone doesn’t work miracles, right?

Apparently, he does.

And around me, everything strangely started unfolding in slow motion.

The deafening cheers turned into a hum, and the frantic movements of everyone around me became a blur.

The guys on the team were running back and forth on that open-air court like they owned the world, and the emotional expressions on their faces as they shouted at the top of their lungs were just ugly as hell. It was embarrassing to watch them try to lift Mirio, the guy’s a freaking fridge, but despite the failed and cringeworthy attempt, I don’t think anything could wipe that bizarrely huge smile off his face.

They even came yelling and jumping on me too, but despite my kind of dazed state, I quickly warned them that if they tried to lift me, fists would fly. The kids were so hyped they didn’t care, so they gave up and moved on to find another victim to pile on. Mirio, on the other hand, was staring at me from a distance with that same wide grin and a thumbs-up, probably silently telling me we’d done a good job.

When my eyes—nearly blurred from all the sweat dripping into them—landed on the bleachers, the students, from both the schools in the game and even some from others, were screaming with an excitement I’d never seen before, not even in all the championship finals I’d won back at Shigaraki. And this was just the first round, not even one of the most anticipated games. Yeah, I guess the Yuei crowd really isn’t used to wins. Of course, the Shiketsu students in the bleachers were slinking away, looking like they’d been dragged through the dirt. It was funny and satisfying to see their faces when they’d been so cocky about winning at the start. The opposing team had already vanished from my sight—despite the game being on their turf—I guess they couldn’t handle the humiliation of losing to a team that used to be synonymous with failure.

Well, not anymore.

What’s Katsuki Bakugou doing at Yuei, huh?

Damn, that blond bastard! If it wasn’t for him, we would’ve won…

I heard he got expelled from Shigaraki, is that true?

Those were some of the comments that reached my ears at some point—I don’t remember when or who said them, but either way, I don’t care.

Mina was really in the front row, cheering with her pom-poms and a grin from ear to ear, just like she said she’d be. She didn’t stop shouting for us the entire game, and she didn’t hold back on the “GO, BAKUGOU!” either.

And even though I’d scanned those bleachers with my eyes at least a hundred times during all the quarters, the breaks, and even now, I didn’t find a single trace of him. I saw the walking dessert, the zombie guy, the rocker chick, and even the blond pushover. Even they shouted my name.

Everyone was there. Even the people I couldn’t stand were cheering for me.

Everyone, except him.

And I kept telling myself over and over that the reason I couldn’t celebrate this victory like I should had nothing to do with that.

I didn’t even expect him to show up; there was no logic to it.

But then why did I feel so…?

We trained so hard that week it felt like we’d enlisted in the army and come back. I poured my entire body and mind into it, and in the end, it was pathetic how empty I felt, like all that effort hadn’t meant a damn thing.

And why?

Because of him?

Fuck that.

“Hey, co-captain! The team’s star!” Mirio exclaimed, plopping down beside me, his heavy arm landing on my shoulder with a tight grip. “What do you think of the co-captain title? Dignified enough for you? Can I call you co-captain from now on?”

Man, shut the hell up.

A sharp pain was already starting to throb in my head. The nonstop shouting, the human furnace that wouldn’t quit…

“Just Bakugou’s fine by me.” I replied flatly, not thrilled about all the contact—the guy was as sweaty as I was—but I didn’t have the energy to push him off. I’d burned every last bit of adrenaline sprinting to the hoop for that final point; all I wanted was to collapse on my bed and slip into a coma. “You know we didn’t win by a lot, right? I don’t get all this excitement.” I said, indifferent, watching the over-the-top celebration.

I’ve always been hyped after winning a game, that’s normal, but celebrating like this, like I’d never won anything in my life, that’s never happened. Well, considering their track record, it makes sense they’re freaking out and screaming like animals.

“You guys should cool it because the next game’s next weekend, and we still have a lot to improve—”

“Whoa, whoa, my man! Slow down!” he said, stepping in front of me and forcing me to stop walking, both hands gripping my shoulders. I frowned. “We won! Dude, do you get that? Can you cool that hot head of yours for a second and relax?”

“Tch.” Clicking my tongue, I shoved his hands off and slipped out of his grip, heading to the locker room to grab my stuff. I’d shower at home.

But of course, he had to get in my way again.

“You’re definitely not ruining my vibe today, Katsuki Bakugou!” He pointed a sausage finger in my face. “There’s gonna be a party at my place, and I don’t care what’s up with this weird depression of yours—you’re gonna be there, even if I have to drag you by the hair!”

I let out a nasal laugh.

“Sorry, but I’m not in the mood for parties.” I said, brushing past him again.

“Man, we just won!” Sero popped up out of nowhere in front of me. “If you’re not in the mood even now, I don’t even wanna imagine how you are when you’re not getting laid!” Suddenly, his eyes widened, and leaning in close, he whispered, “Wait, you’re not actually in a dry spell, are you?”

“Fuck, shut the hell up!” I shoved the guy hard, making him faceplant on the ground. Tch, bunch of losers. They think just because they won one game, they can celebrate like the world’s ending? It was just the first round, we’ve got a long way to go, and I won’t consider myself victorious until we’re holding the trophy. “I did my part here, so stop fucking annoying me! I’m not going to any damn party, fuck off! Go shove it up your asses, you annoying bastards!”

~*~

They dragged me to the party.

“Yo, fuck off, I don’t want this shit!” I snapped when Sero shoved a drink with a suspicious color at me. “I already said I’m not drinking.”

Goddamn it, why’s it so hard for them to just do what I say? During practice, they listened to me just fine, and now they’ve shoved their respect up their asses just because we won? What the hell’s this? Shouldn’t they respect me more now, not the opposite? Why don’t they just leave me alone and go enjoy the damn party? I’m already here at this crap, I did what they wanted, ain't that enough?

Fuck.

“Stop being a buzzkill, Bakugou!” Mina popped up out of nowhere, grabbed the drink from the kid’s hand, and chugged it, then shot me a look like the one my uncle gave me. Everything pointed to her having just arrived, since I hadn’t seen her at the party until now—the game ended at 7:30 p.m., and the party started at 10 p.m., so there was time for everyone to go home and get ready. “What’s with this gloomy vibe, sweetheart? Acting like this, you’re looking like a loser, come on! Loosen up, it’s a party!”

I huffed, just giving up on fighting them and accepting my shitty fate. I sank deeper into one of those sofas scattered near the pool area, propping my elbow on the armrest and my forehead in my hand, just waiting for the moment they’d be so drunk they wouldn’t notice me slip away.

“Bakugou, are you like this because my performance wasn’t good enough?” Iida suddenly showed up, also holding a drink and wearing a damn suit.

A fucking suit.

My eyes scanned him from head to toe.

Did he think he was at prom or something? There were people practically naked here.

“Iida, with all due respect, I didn’t even look at you during the game.” I replied, tearing my eyes away from all that tackiness that was already getting on my nerves, and I’m not even the type to judge other people’s clothes, but I guess today anything would set me off.

“What do you mean?” He seemed indignant, even a bit disappointed. Come on, now I have to deal with a needy teammate too… “I scored three times, and it was all because you passed the ball to me!”

“I’d pass the ball to anyone near the hoop, damn it—!”

“Iida, you were great, but if I may…” Mina suddenly cut in, stepping closer to the guy and unbuttoning the top of his white dress shirt. He widened his eyes, and I rolled mine when I saw him blush looking at her. What a virgin. “There, much better! And take off that blazer too.”

“S-sure!” And he did, like a puppy obeying its owner.

I sighed, glancing at the people chatting near the pool and the bar. Everyone happy and hyped, but no one had jumped in the pool yet—the party had only been going for an hour.

One hour. One hour of me sitting here, on this same sofa, staring into space, listening to shitty music, and occasionally dealing with annoying congratulations and conversation attempts I barely managed to dodge.

Seriously, what am I doing here?

After the game, I went home—to my uncle’s apartment, to be exact—like I said I would. I found Uncle Haruki sprawled on the couch in a loose robe with a tired look. He congratulated me on the game, and that’s when I appreciate the Bakugou family, because all it took was a pat on the shoulder, a smirk, and a “you’re badass, kid,” and that was it. I went to the kitchen and ate the leftover pizza he’d left for me. I skimmed through some of the many messages my mom had been sending me the past few days, politely asking me to come back home—sarcasm intended. I ignored them, like I did with all the others. At least I’m glad she hasn’t shown up at Uncle Haruki’s to drag me out by the hair.

After that, I showered and went to bed.

Well, or that’s what I planned.

I was woken up by a slap to the ear that nearly made me fall off the bed.

“FUCK, WHAT THE HELL—”

“Your shitty friends won’t stop buzzing the intercom downstairs.” Uncle Haruki’s bloodshot eyes—couldn’t tell if it was from sleep or weed, maybe both—glared at me.

Wait, what?

How do they know where I live? The only person I ended up telling was…

Tch.

Of course. Mina.

She mentioned where she lived once, and I said I was staying nearby. She got all excited and wanted to know the exact address. I didn’t think such a random conversation would lead to this.

I huffed, burying my head in the pillow.

Bitch.

“Go down there before I throw you to them out the window.” He was leaving my room when he suddenly stopped at the door and gave me a confused look. “They said they came to take you to a party. Man, I thought it was weird you came home, I even figured you were lying when you said you won the game. What the hell are you still doing here, kid? You’re eighteen, nineteen, whatever. You’re a basketball player… or captain, I don’t know.” He shrugged, looking at me with indignation. “You just won a game, go live, damn it. Get some shame in that face, the number of girls ready to spread their legs for you at that party probably wouldn’t fit on a whole poster board.” He left, leaving me with a shitty expression, and I could still hear him muttering halfway down the hall. “Man, kids these days are all messed up… if I were your age and played basketball, I’d be raising hell…”

I stomped to the intercom and told them to forget it, I wasn’t leaving the house for shit. But Mirio wouldn’t stop honking downstairs, with Sero yelling from the passenger seat. That alone didn’t bother me, I was on the seventh floor. But the doorman buzzed again and said he’d have to call the cops because the other residents were complaining, and it qualified as disturbing the peace.

And here I am at this shitty party.

Mirio and Sero dragged me here when the party hadn’t even started yet—after all, it couldn’t begin without the host. So I watched everyone roll in, one by one, and got the smiles and congratulations from each of them, even though I was sitting in my corner the whole time with a pissed-off face.

Mirio’s house is no joke. If you can even call it a house. Despite my current situation, my parents always had money, so I was used to comfort.

But this was next-level, for sure.

The nearest neighboring house couldn’t even be seen without binoculars. The pool was massive and in the back of the house—calling it a house was almost an understatement. All around, I just saw a bunch of trees. Mirio even mentioned there was a forest park with a waterfall or something nearby, with a trail to get there from his place. Crazy shit.

“And you?” Mina turned to me, and just like she did with Iida, she scanned me from head to toe. “Didn’t have anything cooler to wear? You look the same as I see you every day. You didn’t even comb your hair, did you? But the jacket’s nice.”

“You a new member of the Fashion Police or something?” I shot back, my left eye twitch practically turning into a tumor, with zero patience. I was surprised at myself for not having smashed anyone’s face into a surface yet—okay, shoving Sero face-first into the ground at the court doesn’t count. “Goddamn it, give me a break.”

“You’re such a mood-killer.” She huffed, putting a hand on her hip and staring at me with boredom. “You spent the whole week pouring your soul into this team, unbelievably you guys won, everyone’s here happy and wanting to meet the guy who finally brought us the victory we dreamed of, and you’re sitting there with that sour face! Get it together, man, it’s a party!”

“Sorry to disappoint you.” I forced a smile, too drained to even tell her to fuck off. I don’t know why what I do or don’t do matters so much to them. Sighing, I got up, because it looked like I wouldn’t get any peace there. “I’m gonna take a walk.”

“Where you headed?” she asked as I just walked past her.

Am I some kind of fugitive or something? Damn it, why doesn’t everyone just mind their own business?

This is what I get for letting people get close. Man, if regret could kill…

“I’m gonna take a shit. Why? Wanna sniff my crap too?” I replied in a bored tone, finally turning my back on them, shoving my hands into the pockets of my black leather jacket. I heard Sero and Iida laughing, but Mina stayed quiet, probably with a dumb look on her face.

I was already walking away when I heard her say to Iida:

“Let him be. I’m sure he’ll perk up in no time.” She let out a low giggle. “You’ll see.”

I didn’t get what she meant, but I didn’t care much either.

If they think they’re gonna shove drinks down my throat and that’ll loosen me up, they’re dead wrong. I’d pour the bottle in their faces and make them choke.

I wasn’t actually going to take a shit, I just said that to shut her up. I just wanted to get out of there so they’d stop bugging me.

The worst part is I couldn’t just leave whenever I wanted. I came in Mirio’s car, so I don’t have my bike, and there’s definitely no Uber in this middle-of-nowhere either.

As I left the pool area to head inside the house, I nearly got hit by some drunk idiot who stumbled and fell toward me, but I dodged quick, and he faceplanted. Damn, this place is getting chaotic. And where’s that asshole Mirio? He made such a big deal about dragging me here, and I’ve barely seen him since the party started. Brought me just to leave me here like a decoration, is that it?

And speaking of the devil…

“Hey, there’s the man! The topic of the hour!” I heard his overly cheerful voice, and I already knew this was gonna be a pain. Sighing, I turned to him and saw a group of about five people around him, five people now staring at me with goofy smiles. What the hell. I couldn’t hide my shitty expression. “Come here, Bakugou! I was just telling them about that strategy you came up with.” He turned back to them. “Seriously, you guys gotta come watch one of our practices! This guy’s insane, he—damn it, Bakugou, get over here, man!”

“I’m feeling kinda sick, think I ate something bad. Be right back.” I said flatly, already bolting.

“Bad? But I ordered that food from one of the best restaurants in the reg—hey, come back!”

Goddamn it. I’m not even the team captain, why’s everyone so obsessed with me? What a pain. Seriously, my social battery’s so drained I’d give Mirio a free pass to take all the credit for our win if it meant no one would bug me right now. That’s the level of my mood.

Sighing, I headed to the drink area.

Fuck, did Mirio only buy alcohol for this thing? What the hell. Where’s the soda?

I’m tempted to grab a bottle of booze and lock myself in a room to drink until I pass out, I’ll admit. But the way I’m feeling like crap, I don’t know what version of me would come out if I got drunk. And with how they’re hounding me like candidates campaigning during election season, I know they won’t leave me alone for long.

I grabbed a red drink and took a swig. It had alcohol, but it wasn’t too strong. Since there’s nothing else, this’ll have to do.

Damn, that music blasting in my ears was already giving me a headache again…

I was bringing the cup to my mouth for another sip when someone bumped into me, and the liquid spilled all over the sleeve of my jacket.

Oh. Perfect.

Just what I needed to cap off my night with a golden key.

“O-oh! My God!” A female voice exclaimed beside me. “I’m so sorry, what a mess I made!”

I looked at her, swallowing the urge to grab another drink just to throw it in her face.

She had an awkward smile, brown hair, and wore round glasses. Just like his.

I felt my eyelid twitch in that classic nervous tick.

“I’m really sorry!” She reached for my arm. “Take off the jacket, let me clean that up—”

“No need.” I yanked my arm back, maybe a bit too roughly. She stared at me with wide eyes. “It’s fine.” I took off the jacket myself, left in just my black shirt. I hate when people touch me for no reason.

“Oh, okay…” Her sweet tone gave me a weird feeling. When I looked at her again, her head was down, and despite the dim lighting, I noticed the blush on her cheeks. “I really feel bad. If there’s anything I can do for you, please, just let me know…” Her hand tucked a random lock of hair behind her ear.

Fuck.

My stomach churned.

What a shitty feeling. It’s like the devil himself just put his hand on my shoulder.

“By the way… I’m Yuki. And you’re… Katsuki Bakugou, right?”

“There’s one thing you can do for me, yeah.” She looked up, her eyes sparkling with expectation. Was that “accident” really an accident? “Cut this damn lock of hair already...”

Her shocked, wide eyes were the last thing I saw before turning away, now with my wet jacket in hand. I’d let it dry somewhere.

But it was my turn to widen my eyes when I felt the hem of my shirt being grabbed.

“W-wait! I… I—”

I pulled away from her touch and turned to face her again, ready to give her a piece of my mind.

That’s when movement from the staircase caught my attention. The staircase wasn’t even close to the drink area, I don’t know how my eyes were just drawn to it, no explanation. It led to the second floor, and people were going up or down it every now and then, but for some weird reason, it grabbed my focus right then.

I was opening my mouth, about to tell this weird girl to get a grip and leave, but halfway through, my eyes landed on the top of the stairs, and I froze. I stayed like that, completely still, not moving a single muscle, while the worried voice of the girl beside me said things my brain couldn’t process.

Because he was coming down those steps, slowly and calmly, almost like he was floating.

And my embarrassingly weak heart raced on the spot.

My eyes slowly trailed down his body, which, thanks to that damn outfit, made me discover curves on him I didn’t even know he had.

I swallowed hard.

Fuck, what the hell is this?

He didn’t go to the game, so I definitely wasn’t expecting him to show up now. I hadn’t even built up any hope for it. And not only did he show up, he showed up…

Like that?

Was that really the nerd I know?

My mind went blank. All the thoughts I had before were completely wiped, because the only one now screaming above all the others in my head was…

Fuck.

This nerd’s a massive son of a bitch…

And he's hot as hell.

~*~*~*~

Midoriya

Obviously, I wasn’t going to the game. That wasn’t even an option for me.

It was 3 p.m. when the messages started. I was sitting on the living room couch, watching a movie with my mom and holding the popcorn bucket she’d made for us when the first notification came.

As expected, my friends were blowing up the group chat with messages about the game, setting up a meeting point, arranging a time for Shinsou to pick everyone up in his van, and so on. I hadn’t opened the chat because then they’d see I’d read it. But I knew I couldn’t dodge them for long.

When the clock hit 3:47 p.m., Kaminari’s call came.

I was expecting it, so I wasn’t caught off guard. I put on a show, coughing and all, even making fake phlegm noises—ignoring the weird look my mom was giving me—saying I wasn’t feeling well and couldn’t go but would definitely make it to the next one without fail. I was already thinking about what excuse I’d need to come up with for the next game, because “sick” twice in a row wouldn’t fly. Kaminari insisted, saying I couldn’t miss the game over a “ measly little cold”—his exact words. I had to pull out my secret weapon: vomiting and diarrhea. I said there was no way I could leave the house like that, that I’d just be a hassle for everyone. He sounded disappointed but had no choice but to accept it.

“Well, if that’s the case… what can you do, right?” he said, sighing. Meanwhile, my mom was giving me the most disapproving look in the world from beside me, but I was doing a solid job of ignoring her. “Alright. Take care, okay? We’ll swing by later to check on you.”

“Cool. Have fun!” I said between coughs, finally hanging up.

Did I feel a bit guilty? Maybe, but it’s for a greater good. And I was kind of proud of my performance; the Izuku from a few months ago would’ve panicked doing this.

I couldn’t keep ignoring the death glare my mom was shooting me forever, so, sighing, I had to face her back.

“What? I’m really not feeling well, you heard me say earlier I had a headache…”

“Lying is really ugly, Izuku. Why’d you do that?”

“Oh, Mom, come on, you know how it is! Sometimes it’s necessary.” I shrugged, hitting play on the movie she’d paused, pretending her stare wasn’t giving me chills. I felt like if she looked at me any longer, she’d figure everything out just from that. “I’m not in the mood to go out today. I know them, they wouldn’t let it go if I just said I didn’t want to go to this thing…”

“I see.” She said, finally accepting it. “And where is it they want you to…” She was bringing a handful of popcorn to her lips when she suddenly stopped. “Wait a second. This thing you’re talking about, it’s not Katsuki’s game today, is it?”

Oh. Shit.

Don’t tell me she remembered when they mentioned the game was this weekend the last time they were here! Damn it, what a memory this woman has! Which, by the way, was the same day Katsuki and I… in the garden, we… well, we…

Anyway.

Water under the bridge.

“N-no!”

Okay, I was prepared for the call, so I’d rehearsed that act in my head a bunch of times to sound convincing.

But I definitely wasn’t prepared for this conversation.

Damn it, Mom! You were just supposed to agree that sometimes we have to lie to avoid a headache, that’s it! Just stick to the script, what a pain!

Her eyes widened, and her jaw dropped, her head shaking in disbelief.

“Izuku… I can’t believe you’re just—”

“Oh, Mom, come on! What did you expect me to do?” I exclaimed, already standing up from the couch, wrapped in the blanket I’d brought from my room to cocoon myself in while watching the movie—a movie that was apparently done for. “I already told you I blocked him! You really think I’d have the nerve to show up at his game after everything? What? You want me to go there and yell ‘KACCHAN’ like an idiot after telling him to get out of my life?!” She just stared at me in silence. She clearly didn’t approve of what I was saying, but she didn’t seem to have any counterarguments either. “Okay, I might be an idiot, but even I know the limit of ridiculous. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m finishing the movie in my room! Good night!” And I stormed off, racing up the stairs—nearly tripping on the blanket a couple of times but keeping my composure.

And before slamming my bedroom door shut, I could’ve sworn I heard my mom say something like, “Is this the time to start using the sandal method?”

What sandal method…?

~*~

What’s this?

Something’s touching my face.

Wait, did I fall asleep?

Ugh, must be a mosquito…

Still half-conscious, my hand instinctively swatted at the spot to shoo the tiny intruder away.

But my wrist was grabbed.

Wait, what kind of mosquito does that?!

The shock jolted me awake. Wide-eyed and panting, I scrambled to the middle of the bed, clutching the blanket to my chest with all my strength.

“Calm down, kid!” You know that moment when you just wake up and can’t tell reality from a dream? That’s where I was, wondering why there was a talking pink cotton ball in my room—my lack of glasses didn’t help either. And it was laughing at me, to boot. “It’s just me! That’s what you get for falling asleep watching Friday the 13th…” The pink cotton grabbed the remote from my bed, pointed it at the TV, and turned it off.

I shook my head.

Hold on…

I know that cotton candy voice.

“W-wait…” My voice was slightly hoarse from sleep as I rubbed my eyes with one hand, reaching for my glasses on the nightstand with the other. As soon as I put them on, the pink cotton transformed into its true form. My eyes widened. “M-Mina? What are you doing here…?”

Okay.

This was another thing not in my plans.

And I’m not good at handling situations that aren’t in my plans.

“Duh! What do you think?” She turned her back to me and headed to my closet. Only now did I notice how dressed up she was.

She was wearing a sparkly silver mini skirt with a shiny pink crop top—not too flashy, more like it depended on how the light hit it—one of those tops that’s just fabric in the front and ties in the back, you know? So the skin’s all exposed on the sides. She had on silver strappy heels, silver hoop earrings, and the scent coming off her was unreal.

She looked so stunning that, for a moment, I wondered how a girl like her could be here, in my room, talking to me.

“Let’s hit the town, darling!” She turned to me with one of my shirts in hand, then tossed it aside like it was nothing. “I’m your prince on a white horse, here to whisk you away.” And she went back to rummaging through my closet, opening drawer after drawer and flipping through hangers.

Huh?

What?!

“H-hey, but—”

“We won the game!” My eyes widened. We won? “The guys told me you were sick, so I came to check with my own eyes.” With a smile, she turned to me again, holding more of my clothes. “Your mom said you’re perfectly fine now and let me come up. She even let me try some of the pie dough before it went in the oven, and we gossiped for like ten minutes—she’s a sweetheart!”

Wait…

Wait.

What?!

This is… this…

MOM, YOU’RE GONNA PAY FOR THIS!

My karma came faster than I thought.

No, my own mother was my karma! How could she do this?

“Okay, this won’t do.” I snapped out of my mental stoning session against my mom when the girl tossed one of my shirts onto my bed. “Ugh, not this either.” She tossed another. “This one’s a no too.” And another. “You only have these two pairs of pants?” She threw both onto the bed too. What the hell’s going on? “Wow, the state of these shorts is tragic.” She turned to me and held up the shorts for me to inspect, but I didn’t get what was so wrong with them; to me, they were just normal shorts. Mina gave them the same fate as the other clothes sprawled across my bed, all while doing a stellar job of completely ignoring my gobsmacked expression of pure shock. “As I suspected, we can’t use anything from here.” She stopped, hands on her hips, eyeing my clothes with clear disapproval. She let out a sigh. “What a shame.”

If Yuei won and Mina wants to drag me to a party…

That can only mean one thing.

Katsuki’s gonna be there.

“Y-yeah, exactly!” I exclaimed. “I don’t have anything to wear for this, so unfortunately, I’ll have to skip this… it’s a shame, really.” I faked a cough. “And I don’t think I’m fully recovered yet either…”

I can’t go.

No way.

“It’s better if I stay here, you can tell me all about it later—”

Suddenly, she looked up and flashed me a wide grin.

I got chills.

“No worries, I came prepared!” And she went to the backpack I hadn’t even noticed she’d left by the door.

A few hours ago, I was watching a horror movie, not even imagining that the real terror was about to start when I woke up.

She rummaged through the backpack while I desperately tried to think of a way to escape this nightmare—jumping out the window was definitely an option—but my mind was completely blank. To top it off, my dear mom did me the great favor of saying I was perfectly fine!

Damn it, why does nothing go right in my life? Can’t anyone cooperate with me just a little?! What did I do to deserve this much punishment?!

“I brought some options.” She pulled clothes out of the backpack.

“L-look, I really think this isn’t a good idea—”

And instead of tossing them on the bed, she threw them right in my face. I didn’t even react. I glanced between the clothes and her, completely lost, with no idea what I could say to change my tragic fate.

WHY DOES NO ONE LISTEN TO ME?

“W-wait, Mina… I’m still feeling k-kinda sick, really, I could v-vomit any second—”

Swallowing hard, I watched as she straightened up and turned to me with a sinister smile.

And a pair of scissors in hand.

Hold on, what’s with the scissors?!

“The sooner we start, the sooner we’ll finish.”

HEY!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?

“W-wait, Mina! H-hold on!” 

I SAID, HOLD ON!

~*~

She didn’t go easy.

“Hey, enough! That’s enough!” I exclaimed when I looked at the floor and saw what looked like all the hair that used to be on my head. “Are you trying to make me bald?!”

“Stop being dramatic, I’m just trimming the ends!”

The ends?! That was just the ends?!

“You had a ton of split ends and thin strands, your hair was totally lifeless, you know?” Since when does hair need to have life? And she kept cutting and cutting. “I don’t know how that didn’t bother you, it was the first thing I noticed when I laid eyes on you.” Are split ends that noticeable to everyone? Am I the only one who has no clue what they are?

We were in the bathroom. I was sitting in front of the sink while Mina worked behind me. She’d insisted on covering the mirror with a towel so it “wouldn’t ruin the surprise,” her words.

“I think sometimes you don’t realize how good-looking you are. You just need to take better care of yourself.”

Huh?

I felt my cheeks heat up.

What’s she talking about?

She stepped in front of me to trim my bangs, and I instinctively lowered my face a bit.

“What’s that look?” she said, laughing. I widened my eyes and shook my head, trying to make the blush disappear, but of course, that didn’t work. “You’re telling me you don’t know you’re gorgeous?”

I pressed my lips together.

Now my whole face was burning.

Damn it, why’s she doing this to me?

“L-look, I think that’s enough cutting…!” I tried to change the subject. She laughed.

Yeah, as you can see, I just accepted my fate.

Because I knew I couldn’t avoid Katsuki’s existence forever. Sooner or later, we’d have to be in the same space. And I’d pounded my chest and said I’d deal with the consequences of my actions, after all.

But did I have to deal with them this soon? Couldn’t it be, like, later…?

“You’re too cute, Izu.” She smiled, pinching one of my cheeks. I huffed, trying to hide from her gaze, but she quickly scolded me, telling me to lift my head or the cut would come out uneven—I lifted it fast, even though I could still feel the embarrassment dancing across my face. “I can see why you drive certain people crazy…” Huh? “Done!” And then she stepped back and pulled the towel off the mirror. “Ta-da! What do you think? I told you I wasn’t cutting much.”

My eyes widened.

She really just trimmed it; the volume of my hair didn’t change much—which relieved me because I look awful with really short hair, speaking from experience—but I was impressed by how defined my waves looked. It’s true, a small detail can make a huge difference. And it’s funny because before, I didn’t even notice how shapeless my hair was; to me, that was normal.

Without realizing it, a goofy smile spread across my face.

Hesitantly, I reached for one of the curls hanging slightly over my eyes, touching it carefully, almost afraid it’d unravel at the slightest contact.

“So?” She rested her hands on my shoulders, and I could see her wide grin in the mirror; she seemed pleased with my reaction. “Zero to ten, what’s my score?”

~*~

“Don’t you think this is a bit… much?” I mumbled when I saw Mina opening a makeup case in front of me.

She looked at me with a genuinely confused expression.

“I mean, you know…” I shrugged, as if to say, hey, look at me. “I’m a guy.” I stated the obvious.

She’d washed my face and pinned my bangs back with a pink headband. I thought it was odd but figured she was going to do some kind of skincare thing, so I didn’t question it.

But was she really planning to put makeup on me?

Mina laughed, grabbing what looked like a small sponge and squeezing some creamy stuff onto it. It looked like moisturizer, but something told me it wasn’t.

“Did you know that a long time ago, in the era of kings and queens, men used makeup?” She started dabbing the sponge with the creamy liquid on my face, murmuring a close your eyes. “And lots of idols use it too, it’s not like it’s anything out of the ordinary.”

“I know, but… I don’t know if this really suits me…” I’m scared of looking ridiculous, I finished in my head. That stuff she was putting on my face was sticky, cold, and kind of uncomfortable.

I heard her laugh.

“Sweetie, with a face like yours, anything suits you.” I felt that warmth creeping onto my cheeks again. She didn’t stop with those kinds of comments, and yet I still couldn’t get used to them. “And don’t worry, I’ll do it so subtly you won’t even notice you’re wearing makeup.”

As she kept applying it, the stuff on my face started drying and stopped being such a bother. But when she moved to my eyelashes and eyelids, that’s when it got really tough. It made me nervous; I couldn’t stop my eyelids from twitching, and she scolded me every time.

“I must look like a clown…” I let slip at some point, low and almost inaudible, but of course she heard—she was right next to me.

“You questioning my skills as a makeup artist? Is that it?”

Why did I let myself go through this again? Wasn’t going to the party punishment enough?

God, I’m way too soft—nice word for pushover.

When Mina finally told me to open my eyes, I nearly fell back at the sight in the mirror.

It was funny.

She hadn’t caked my face or anything; it was still me. It looked natural, like the idols you see on TV—not that I’m saying I look like an idol, for the love of God.

But at the same time, I looked like a completely different person.

It was weird seeing myself like that.

Slowly, I brought my hand to my face, touching my skin so carefully I was afraid it might crumble under my fingers.

Is this really me?

My skin looked like porcelain…

“I’d normally do a skincare routine first, but we don’t have time.” She commented, smiling. “Oh, I know! Let’s schedule at least once a week to meet up here or at my place to do skincare together!” She started bouncing in place, waving the brushes in her hands. I laughed at her enthusiasm. “It’s gonna be so fun!”

I leaned closer to the mirror, studying my face carefully. I wasn’t wearing my glasses now, but I could see fine at that short distance.

My freckles were still visible, and she’d done a subtle brown shadow on my eyelids, which seemed to make my eyes pop. My eyelashes looked longer than usual too; she’d definitely put on some… what’s it called? Oh, right, mascara.

My eyes dropped to my mouth, and I blushed.

It looked…

Like a woman’s lips.

“I put a light red tint in the center of your lips, just to give them more life.” She seemed to notice my confused stare and started explaining. “I also added a bit of gloss, so anyone who looks at you will think you just got done making out with someone.” My eyes widened, and I started looking for a tissue to wipe it off. She laughed and placed her hands on my shoulders. “Kidding. Or not. Don’t you dare offend me by removing my gorgeous makeup. And it’s expensive. You don’t want to offend me, do you?” I stared at her reflection in the mirror with wide eyes. She grinned, victorious. Ugh. “Yeah, thought so. Anyway, let’s go, time for my favorite part!”

~*~

“Done—wait, almost…” she said, rubbing her finger near my eyes. They were tearing up, but I forced myself to keep them open. The torture didn’t last long, though, and soon she stepped back with a wide grin. “There we go!” She clapped her hands together, like she’d just fixed a car engine. “Lenses in! Now you’re ready to slay, stomp, and shatter some poor hearts out there.”

I’d never tried contact lenses before. I didn’t think I needed them; I like my glasses, plus I’d heard creepy stories about lenses getting lost behind people’s eyes and… yeah, I don’t even want to think about that. Freaky.

But now, looking at myself in the full-length mirror in my room, with that makeup, that hair, and those clothes…

I felt so beautiful it seemed wrong.

It was like the reflection in the mirror wasn’t me. Like I was in costume.

And that made me uncomfortable.

“Mina, are you sure—”

“Shh, don’t say a word.” She pressed her index finger near my lips but didn’t touch them—probably to avoid smudging the lip tint, I guess. I swallowed hard, still feeling extremely uneasy about all this. “You look gorgeous. Stunning, to be honest!” She grabbed my hands and stepped back, eyeing me up and down with a satisfied smile. The look on her face now was the same one she had when she finished a painting and stared at it for long seconds, and that thought made me blush again. “You’re already gorgeous normally, but tonight you’re on another level. It’s like I’ve seen you on TV. Or a billboard?” She laughed, pretending to think. “My work here is done. Seriously, I’m jealous of everyone who gets to lay eyes on you tonight. Good thing I’m one of them!” Laughing, she stepped away to grab her phone. “I told you I’m your prince on a white horse, but I actually came without the horse, so I’ll have to call the carriage.”

I pressed my lips together, rubbing my arm with my hand. This outfit was kind of… too tight and… it was squeezing my butt…

“We’re already an hour late, but that’s fine, being too punctual is never good.” She chatted while I got lost in my own thoughts. “Seriously, now that Yuei finally won something, that house must be upside down…”

I’m not used to this kind of clothing. I don’t wear stuff like this. My clothes are all loose and comfortable and…

I swallowed hard.

I looked down, taking in all that expensive fabric. I don’t know fashion, but everything seemed high-quality. It was soft to the touch, didn’t itch, and there wasn’t even a single speck of lint on it.

It didn’t suit me at all.

I held back a sigh, or Mina would scold me if she heard.

Damn it. I must look ridiculous.

Mina had lent me a pair of black leather pants; they weren’t the super tight kind, actually a bit loose, but I could feel them hugging my thighs and butt, and that made me uncomfortable. On top, she’d made me wear a black long-sleeve turtleneck, and this one was tight, outlining muscles I didn’t even have. Mina tucked the hem of the shirt into the pants, and I nearly melted from embarrassment when I felt her fingers graze my underwear, but she didn’t seem to care, like she did this every day. On my right ear, I had a subtle stud in the lobe, and my neck was adorned with a thin silver chain that draped over the black fabric of the shirt, creating a cool contrast. On my feet, I wore my classic red sneakers—the only thing that was actually mine here.

Mina’s got good taste, I can’t deny that.

But the figure I see now is so far from my everyday self that I can’t help feeling weird, even though the whole getup was, honestly, pleasing to my eyes—eyes that were now free of glasses, another thing that felt strange.

If it were anyone else wearing all this, I’d probably think it looked amazing.

But the one wearing these fancy, expensive clothes was me, not someone else.

I pressed my lips together.

Holy shit.

I look like a gigolo.

“The shirt’s mine, and I grabbed these pants from my brother.” Mina started talking after catching me staring at the clothes intently. I looked up at her, completely awkward. “Those pants look like a garbage bag on him, way too loose on those sticks he calls legs.” She laughed, her eyes trailing down my body. Stop staring, you perv! “But he definitely doesn’t have your legs or your butt.”

Huh?

What? I don’t even work out.

Is she messing with me?

“But I—”

“Oh, hold on! I almost forgot!” And then she pulled a perfume bottle from her backpack and spritzed it on my neck, nape, and wrists. I coughed a bit; the scent was strong. “I’d kill myself if I let you leave without the grand finale. This perfume’s gotten me some pretty good hickeys in the—”

Suddenly, we heard a honk.

“Ah!” She exclaimed, excited. “They’re here. Let’s go, baby!”

They? Who’s they? I thought she was calling an Uber.

Still clueless, I just nodded. We went downstairs and found my mom in the kitchen; the smell coming from there was heavenly. She was taking a dish out of the oven, which nearly hit the floor when she turned and saw us standing at the entrance.

I widened my eyes, swallowing hard.

“I-I know…” Hesitantly, I started, rubbing the back of my neck with a sheepish smile. “It’s a bit weird—”

“My God, are you really my son?” She exclaimed, haphazardly setting the dish on the counter. “You… you look stunning, Zuku! Absolutely stunning!”

Wait.

Huh?

“A creature like this really came out of my belly…?” She rushed over, her starry-eyed gaze scanning me up and down, sparkling like twin stars. What? I thought she’d find it weird too, since I’m so different from what she’s used to seeing… “I thought I’d never see you so… so put-together like this! You look like a soap opera star! My God, my God, you’re incredible, sweetheart!” She hugged me so tight I couldn’t breathe for a second, her smile practically splitting her face. It’d been a while since I’d seen her smile like that. I was still frozen. Mina, beside me, watched the scene with a proud expression. “Girl, you’re an angel of light!” She exclaimed, pulling away from me and turning to Mina. “I don’t even know how to thank you for doing this for my Zuku. And you look gorgeous too, both of you!” Her admiring gaze bounced between us. “Heavens, I can’t believe my eyes…”

Wait, were those tears in her eyes…?

Do I usually look that sloppy to cause this much of a fuss? Now I’m offended.

“It wasn’t even that hard, I just highlighted the beauty he already has. And it was your pie that inspired me, Aunt Inko!” Mina teased, hugging my mom and planting a sweet kiss on her forehead.

“Oh, stop it! That pie recipe’s so old… it’s not even that great…” she said, laughing shyly. The trick to getting my mom all flustered is praising her cooking skills. Suddenly, the horn blared again. “Now go! Hurry, hurry, hurry!” She shooed us with a kitchen towel. “Go out there and break some hearts! I want to hear all about it later, got it?”

We laughed and rushed out. I opened the front door for Mina and gestured for her to go first. Before following, though, I glanced back at my mom, now standing alone at the kitchen entrance, watching me with a tender smile and soft eyes.

My lips curled into a small, lopsided smile.

She wiped away the single tear rolling down her cheek, then waved at me with her chubby hand.

“Have so much fun, my love! I love you! And take good care of your friend, okay?”

With a wide grin, I nodded and stepped out the door.

The so-called carriage waiting outside was none other than Shinsou’s van. And inside, besides the owner himself, were Todoroki, Jirou, and Kaminari, the latter of whom shouted from the van’s window when he saw us coming out.

Oh, crap.

"OH MY GOOOOD!” His yell echoed through the whole street, and I wanted to shove my head inside my own neck. Mina doubled over laughing while I just wanted to die. I didn’t even have the courage to look up. I heard a whistle from Jirou, and I slapped my hand to my forehead, pretending this wasn’t happening. “Give us a twirl, Izuku! So you’ve been hiding this from us all this time? Since when do you have those legs, my man?”

“Stop talking, please…” I muttered as I climbed into the van and sat next to him, getting sized up from head to toe. I gave him a quick smack to shut him up. He yelped but didn’t complain.

“I’ve never looked this good after spending the day puking.” I froze at his comment. I didn’t dare look at him. They didn’t figure out I was lying, did they? Oh, for the love of God, that’d be the final blow to bury me… “What’s your secret, huh?”

“Wow…” Jirou said, thankfully stealing the spotlight as she blatantly checked out Mina. The pink-haired girl rolled her eyes, turning to look out the window to ignore her. “I’m really gay.” Kaminari burst out laughing.

“Why haven’t we left yet?” Mina changed the subject, raising an eyebrow as she directed her attention to the guys up front. I followed her gaze and instantly regretted it. A scorching heat took over my entire face. “Come on, people! Lose something back here?”

Shinsou, in the driver’s seat, was turned around, his arm resting on the back of the seat. Todoroki, beside him, mirrored his pose.

And both pairs of eyes were locked on me.

My saliva went down like sandpaper.

They exchanged a look, shared a sly smirk, and finally turned back to the front, starting the van.

My God, what was that?

No, better not think too much about it.

The van finally peeled out, and my heart raced with anxiety at the thought of what was to come, while loud, upbeat music filled the vehicle. Everyone was dancing to the pop song blaring, while I sat there staring into space, sandwiched between Kaminari and Mina, frozen like a mummy.

Yeah.

Something tells me this is gonna be a long night.

~*~

The entire van ride was filled with talk about how Yuei crushed it in the game. Everyone chimed in with their comments, but Kaminari and Mina were the loudest. They recounted every moment in such detail that I almost felt like I’d been there too. And, of course, they wouldn’t stop gushing about how amazing Katsuki was. Mina’s eyes seemed to sparkle every time she talked about one of the many phenomenal shots he made or how he played a huge role in helping the other guys score, and my stomach twisted every time.

Damn it.

I’d almost forgotten about the crush she has on him. Thinking about it, this party would be the perfect chance for something to finally happen between them. Mina’s bold, she’d definitely make a move. And I don’t see why Katsuki would say no, especially now that we’re nothing to each other anymore and he’s treating me like crap—though, to be fair, he didn’t have any reason to hold back from her before either.

I sighed heavily, sinking deeper into that worn-out seat.

This won’t be just any party. It’ll be a party celebrating the Yuei basketball team’s victory over Shiketsu and, above all, celebrating Bakugou Katsuki, the team’s new star.

But it’s fine, I knew what I was getting into. I can handle it.

Dealing with the consequences, huh?

We’d been on a long road for twenty minutes, surrounded by nothing but trees. There weren’t even streetlights to light the way. Total darkness, broken only by the faint blue glow of the moon and the yellowish headlights of the van.

At some point, all the talk about the game and Bakugou Katsuki died down, and my heart could finally breathe. I silently thanked Shinsou when he turned off the music too, leaving the only sound the wind coming through the window.

Kaminari switched seats with me because I kept craning my neck to stare at the sky outside, and he got annoyed with my weight on him every time. With no light from buildings, houses, or streetlights, thousands of stars decorated the horizon from end to end, and I couldn’t tear my eyes away from such a beautiful, surreal scene.

At least it helped me calm down.

“Are we there yet?” Kaminari asked in a bored tone, probably for the tenth time since the trees took over our view. “Man, I didn’t know Mirio lived in the middle of nowhere. I’ll be shocked if there’s anyone else there besides us.”

“The guy’s rich, rich people don’t live near the riffraff like us,” Jirou commented, taking a final drag before tossing her cigarette out the window. “I bet a kiss from Mina on my lips that the whole city’s there.”

“Hey!” the mentioned girl exclaimed, indignant.

“Still, did it have to be this far…?” Kaminari muttered with a sulky pout, completely ignoring the tension between the two.

“You won’t mind when you see the size of his house,” Todoroki said from the front, smiling at us over his shoulder.

It was almost like Shouto knew we were close, because as soon as he said it, the upbeat, distant music started getting louder and louder as we approached, overtaking the nature sounds along with bright, flashing lights.

It was instant: Mina, Kaminari, Jirou, and I threw ourselves to the right side of the van to peer out the windows, curious to see if the house was really all that.

Wait, house?

What house?

“This is a fucking mansion!” Jirou exclaimed, stealing the words from my mouth.

The entrance was huge, with a sort of front garden and parking areas on both sides.

Okay, houses usually have garages, but a private parking lot?

Just how rich was Mirio?

People were spilling out from every corner, imaginable and unimaginable. Some were leaning against their own cars or other people’s, drinking and chatting, others practically making out, and people weaving back and forth without even checking if a car was coming. Shinsou had to drive slowly to avoid hitting a drunk who might stumble in front of the van. He circled the area, but there were no spots left. There were cars of every type and color, but the sheer number of vehicles belonging to a lifestyle I could never achieve through my own efforts was staggering.

It was a whole other world.

Crazy how Yuei has people from all classes and statuses. But, of course, it wasn’t just Yuei folks there.

We were only an hour late, but it felt like the party had been going all day.

It was a mess. Total chaos.

“Park over there on that low grass, across the street,” Todoroki suggested. Shinsou had to leave the property and park on the other side, as his friend said. It was a bit steep and uneven, but it worked.

Getting out, we crossed the chaotic garden to reach the house’s entrance. Todoroki and Shinsou stuck to me like bodyguards, which I found odd but didn’t question.

As soon as we walked in, I felt momentarily blinded by the flashing lights. It wasn’t like a club, though. The yellowish lights from a few rooms spilled into the main living area, which was dark and lit only by some colored lights, making it a bit cozier and less chaotic—but I couldn’t say the same for the people.

The music was loud but not so much that you couldn’t hold a conversation. There were tables with food and drinks, and the variety surprised me. How did Mirio have time to prepare all this, considering he didn’t even know if they’d win? Or was he planning a party regardless of the outcome?

People were dancing, and the chatter was lively and upbeat. I’m not one to judge outfits, but I was worried I might be too overdressed for a last-minute party, so I was relieved to see people dressed in all sorts of ways. Some were way fancier than me—I even saw a guy in a suit. From what I could tell, I’d say I was within the party’s standard, which was wild to think about, given the level of this house and the cars outside. Honestly, I think I’d be the one standing out if I’d worn my usual clothes.

Even from a distance, I could see the pool area. The view was limited, but it looked lively, with people moving back and forth with drinks in hand and laughing loudly. The glass doors to that area were open, probably to keep a drunk from slamming into them and ending up in the hospital.

I spotted a few Yuei athletes passing by, their blue-and-white team jackets giving them away. That thought made me freeze.

Where was Katsuki?

He’d just joined the school, but had he already gotten one of those team jackets? Was he wearing it? That’d help me spot him faster. Either way, it doesn’t matter. I’ll keep my distance from anyone I see in blue and white.

I’m used to walking into places and getting noticed, thanks to Katsuki, but not for good reasons. So when we entered and several pairs of eyes immediately landed on us, I wasn’t surprised—after all, I was with some very attractive people.

What made me swallow hard and my legs freeze, though, was realizing that some of those eyes were focused on me.

But somehow, they weren’t looking at me with the usual weird, threatening stares I was used to.

“I’m gonna talk to some friends, be right back!” Mina announced and, without waiting for a reply, zoomed off.

“Where’s Bakugou?” Kaminari asked. “I didn’t get a chance to congratulate him after the game, only talked to Mirio.”

“Oh, he’s probably surrounded by people, for sure,” Jirou replied with her usual indifferent expression. “Everyone knows this win was thanks to him. Though, with so many girls probably throwing themselves at him, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s already in one of the bedrooms fu—”

“I’m going to the bathroom.” I cut her off immediately. I knew if I let her finish that sentence, I’d end up puking everything I’d held back when Mina was raving about Katsuki in the van.

I was about to walk off when I realized I had no idea where the bathroom was, and given the size of this house, it’d take me forever to find it.

Todoroki noticed my lost expression and touched my shoulder.

“There’s one downstairs and another on the second floor. The one upstairs is probably better, I’ll go with you.”

For some reason, Shinsou followed us too, while Kaminari and Jirou bolted for the food tables.

Even the second floor was busy, but, of course, way less crowded than the first. There wasn’t even a line for the bathroom, though someone was inside when I got there. Half a minute later, a guy stumbled out, clearly drunk, and I slipped in.

I was closing the door when Todoroki leaned his shoulder against the frame, stopping me, his hand gently holding it.

I stared at him, confused, and he gave a small smile, not showing his teeth. Shinsou appeared behind him.

“Can we come in too?” The question, asked in his typical calm and serene tone, left Todoroki’s lips.

The way he spoke, so relaxed and carefree, made it seem like there were no ulterior motives behind his words, even though they were clear as day.

Only then did I notice his outfit. He looked really good. His two-toned hair, slightly messy, gave him a different kind of charm. He wore a white dress shirt, but it was casual, with the top buttons undone and sleeves rolled up to his elbows. A silver chain, like mine, hung around his neck. He had on black pants and sneakers, keeping it chill.

I gave a crooked smile.

“I… I really just need to pee.” That’s what I said, awkwardly.

I don’t think Todoroki was expecting that response. He looked a bit disappointed.

But he gave an understanding smile and nodded, letting me close the door.

I let out a long sigh, my heart pounding in my chest.

I can’t even remember the last time I had a more intimate moment with the guys. Well, a moment like that one at the festival never happened again, for sure, but we used to sneak kisses now and then. Now, not even that, and I don’t know how I should feel about it.

The truth is, I don’t feel like hooking up with them like I used to. And I hate myself for admitting it, especially since I was the one always saying I wanted to live it up, hook up with other people, have new experiences, all that. And here was the perfect opportunity right in front of me. When in my life would I ever get two hot guys wanting to hook up with me like this again? Lightning doesn’t strike twice, right?

But even so…

I just can’t anymore.

This whole emotional rollercoaster with Kacchan is messing with my head, and ever since he came at me with that crazy talk about wanting something with me, I… I just…

“I want to be with you, Deku. And I mean it.”

“I want all your attention, your eyes, your mouth, your body, your smile, your thoughts—just for me.”

“You’re the one I want, nerd. Only you.”

I mean, I know it’s crazy. You know it’s crazy. We all know it’s crazy.

So why doesn’t my heart get it? Why does it keep racing so hard it hurts every time I remember?

Whenever a moment comes up to hook up with the guys, like now, I think of him and just can’t. It’s too much for me. And why? It’s not like I didn’t think of him when I was with Kirishima and all that, so why does it feel so different now? It’s not like he actually likes me the way I like him, but… before, it was different, we were still just friends, even if our friendship was kind of rocky…

Now, after everything that happened, everything he said, and everything we did…

I can’t. I don’t even feel like hooking up with other people anymore. I wish I did, I really do, but I don’t.

And why? It’s not like Kacchan and I are a thing. In fact, we don’t even have any kind of relationship now. I told him to get out of my life, and I don’t plan on changing that. He doesn’t seem inclined to make me change my mind either.

So what the hell’s my problem?

I snapped out of my daze when I heard a soft knock on the door.

“We’re meeting Kaminari and Jirou at the food tables,” Todoroki said, his voice muffled through the door.

“O-okay! I’ll meet you there!”

Still pissed at all my inner turmoil, I zipped up my pants after peeing and, huffing, washed my hands so hard I nearly shed a layer of skin. I was about to splash water on my face to calm my thoughts but stopped myself, remembering the makeup Mina put on. Jeez, she’d kill me.

I gripped the sink and stared at my reflection, so different from what I’m used to, in the mirror.

Katsuki wouldn’t be in one of the bedrooms like Jirou said… would he?

Oh, God.

Midoriya, focus. Take a deep breath. Stop thinking about useless stuff, save that for when you’re lying awake with insomnia. Now’s not the time.

The night’s just started.

And, if all goes well, it’ll end soon.

Preferably without running into Bakugou Katsuki.

Well, the house is huge, maybe that won’t be so hard, right? And there are so many people around, he might not even recognize me anyway…

But what’s the point of avoiding him when everything around me is about him?

“And on top of it all, Bakugou’s hot as hell!” That was the first comment I heard as soon as I opened the bathroom door—of course it had to be, because my life’s just wonderful. “Ugh, seriously, if I just had one chance…” It was a girl talking to a guy.

Despite the annoyance, I was used to girls making comments like that about Katsuki. It wasn’t something that threw me off.

I started walking in the opposite direction, but what made my eyes widen was what I heard, faintly, as I moved away—her friend asking in response:

“Think he’s into guys too?”

~*~*~*~

Katsuki

I panicked.

When he reached the bottom step, my body automatically turned to the drink table, and I froze there, my wide eyes fixed on that bowl filled to the brim with red liquid. My racing heart pounded against my chest, and the annoying voice of that girl was like a mosquito buzzing in my ear—she wouldn’t shut up, and my brain couldn’t process a single word.

I felt Deku pass by me, and it was stronger than me when my head took on a life of its own and slowly started turning toward him. Before I could even think, my eyes went straight to his ass, and the way it seemed to move in slow motion hit me so hard that my limited vocabulary couldn’t even begin to describe it beyond fuck, what a goddamn perfect ass.

What the hell’s going on? He didn’t even show up to the game, and now he’s here looking like that? With those pants practically glued to his ass? Since when does he own clothes like these? And where the hell are his shitty glasses? Why’s he so dressed up? Is this to mess with me? To drive me completely insane? What’s he trying to prove? Is he provoking me or something? Is this some test to see if I’m really straight or whatever the fuck? What fucking right does this shitty nerd think he has to show up here looking this hot?!

Fuck, I’m gonna lose it.

I need air. I need air.

“Hey, I’m talking to you!” That girl still hadn’t left? “You okay? Feeling sick? Need water?”

“Yeah, go get it,” I said without even looking at her, just because I wanted her to get lost, and it worked.

When I managed to focus on anything other than what was inside those damn pants, I noticed Deku had reached the food table, which, thankfully, was on the other side of the room. He was surrounded by his crew of losers. And, of course, the two kings of losers were practically sniffing his neck, all but unzipping their pants and rubbing themselves on Deku’s legs with how blatantly they were eyeing him in front of everyone. The nerd was in a lively conversation with Kaminari and Jirou, seemingly oblivious to how the other two were circling him like vultures.

My chest tightened.

I raised an eyebrow when Two-Face leaned in to whisper something in Deku’s ear, his filthy hand touching his shoulder in a way that, to others, might not seem like a big deal, but to me, was more than enough to make me want to explode.

To be honest, anything that multicolored bastard did would piss me off. Just the way he looked and smiled at Deku was enough to make me want to commit a crime.

I furrowed my brow hard, and I was almost sure this was some divine test when the other guy, the one with purple hair and a face like a roasted vulture, found some excuse to touch Deku’s hair, like he was fixing it.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

My hands are tingling.

Something’s churning inside me, and it’s definitely not bad food.

Goddamn it, this is gonna go to shit.

I knew I shouldn’t have left the house.

I turned back to the drink table in front of me, gripping it with clenched fists while taking deep breaths. Suddenly, a hand holding a glass of water appeared in front of me, and I wanted to grab that glass and hurl it to hell.

I need something strong.

I ignored the girl looking at me worriedly with the water and grabbed a bottle of beer sitting on the table.

“Thanks,” I said to her, ignoring her shocked face as I turned my back and headed to the pool area.

Fuck.

I’m pissed as hell.

I can’t remember the last time I was this pissed.

Wasn’t it him who told me to switch schools and pretend he doesn’t exist? I thought he skipped the game to avoid me, so what the hell’s he doing here now? And dressed like that?! What is this, to rub in my face what an idiot I am?!

More than that, I can’t explain the shitty feeling that ate me up seeing that scene. The last time we went to a party together, he only had me. He always only had me. He never cared much about his appearance; some pants and a hoodie were enough, and they didn’t even have to be the best pants or hoodie in his closet.

And now he just shows up completely different, in a way I never imagined I’d see. Honestly, the way he dressed was never an issue for me. I always thought he was good-looking. Glasses or no glasses, messy hair or not, baggy hoodie or not. It didn’t matter to me. Because, in my head, he was just my nerd friend.

But now…

Seeing Deku like this, dressed in those clothes and… without me, was a straight-up punch to my gut.

He’s not the excluded nerd who only had me anymore. And I know it’s awful to say that like it’s a bad thing, because I always wanted him to have more friends, but…

I never imagined I wouldn’t be part of it.

It should be me there, by his side, not those two.

It should be me whispering in his ear and fixing his hair. It should be me there, celebrating the night’s victory with him.

He should be dressed like that for me, not for those two.

It should be me.

“Bakugou, the game was insane!”

Someone said, but I just kept walking to nowhere, chugging the first long gulp of that bitter beer.

I won the game. It’s what I wanted most.

And it’s not even enough to make me remotely happy.

“You killed it! That last shot was epic, man!”

Another comment came, but I just nodded while downing more of the drink.

I didn’t even know where I was going when Mina intercepted me, snatching the bottle from my hand.

“For someone who said they weren’t drinking, you changed your mind pretty fast.” Smirking, she took a swig straight from the bottle before handing it back. “Looks like you went inside and came out after seeing a ghost.” The smile on her face was suspiciously irritating as hell. “Bet it was a really pretty ghost, huh?”

Fuck.

Now that I think about it, she showed up around the same time as Deku and…

Shit.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Where else would he have gotten clothes like those?

Goddamn it, I’m gonna kill this hellspawn bitch.

So far, I haven’t seen a single upside to giving this girl the time of day. I let her be my “””””friend””””” — yeah, with a ton of quotes — and all it’s done is remind me why I hate letting people in.

“I can be a big help to you,” my ass.

What kind of help is this, dolling up Deku for the party? What kind of friend dresses up the guy I like to go out with other people? What was this for, to rub in my face what a pathetic loser I am?! Am I not humiliated enough already, damn it?!

“Was it you who got Deku all dolled up to come here? That was your so-called ‘big help’? Fuck, was this to help me or to bury me for good?”

“So, you’ve already seen him, huh?” The bitch flashed a weirdly malicious grin while raising an eyebrow, then suddenly started shimmying her shoulders in some bizarre mating dance. I got scared. “He’s a total hottie, right? I did an amazing job, come on, admit it! I know you want to!”

I swear, when they autopsy this girl’s body, they’ll rule she died by strangulation, and I’ll be at the top of the suspect list.

“You’re really the worst kind of asshole, fuck, I hate you so damn much, every day I want to go back in time and throw a brick at my own shitty head to stop myself from walking into that shitty art room and meeting you—!”

“That’s it, Bakugou, finally letting loose! Look at you, even drinking straight from the bottle!” Sero popped up out of nowhere, interrupting the beautiful poem I was so passionately reciting in Mina’s honor. Apparently, he was feeling like the stud of all studs with two drinks in hand and two girls clinging to him, one on each arm. “I’ve got some cuties to introduce you to—”

“No need.” Mina came to my side and looped her arm through mine. I widened my eyes, staring at her, confused. “He’s with me, ladies.”

What the hell, girl?

Sero’s eyes widened, as shocked as I was—I even forgot I was about to kill her.

The girls exchanged looks, rolled their eyes, and walked off.

“H-hey, girls! Wait up!” Completely desperate, Sero ran after them. “Hold on, Sero’s still single and ready to mingle! Wait for me!!”

I quickly pulled away from Mina and stared at her with a giant question mark on my face.

“What the fuck was that?”

She huffed, rolling her eyes.

“Ugh, stop being slow. I only said that to get them off your back, isn’t it obvious?”

“First, you stab me in the back by bringing Deku here all hot—” I cut myself off, realizing what I was about to say. She tried to hide a damn smirk, but failed. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Fuck, I almost said something stupid. Even worse was feeling my face itch with embarrassment for nearly letting that shitty word slip. “Anyway, like that! And now you go and tell that blabbermouth Sero we’re together?! Are you insane, damn it?!”

“Ugh, Bakugou, stop being a buzzkill! What’s the big deal?”

“You can’t go around saying shit like that,” I said, serious. “People talk.”

“Wow.” She made an offended face, clutching her chest. “Sorry if I don’t measure up to your standards, oh great Bakugou Katsuki.”

I clicked my tongue.

Fuck, I was already pissed, and she wasn’t helping.

I just don’t want it getting back to Deku that I’m hooking up with Mina or any other girl. As much as he’s pissed me off—and still is—I’m not interested in playing some look what you missed out on game. I don’t want him thinking everything I said was just bullshit to get in his pants. And I don’t want him thinking I’m a total asshole who went after his friend right after he rejected me.

“Shut up, damn it, that’s not it. I just—”

Wait.

Why the fuck am I wasting my time worrying about this crap?

He rejected me. Not only did he reject me, he kicked me out of his life without a second thought, all through a few messages. Tossed me aside like garbage.

He doesn’t care what I think. He made that crystal clear. I bet he doesn’t give a damn who I hook up with or don’t—it probably doesn’t even cross his mind. He showed up to my victory party, knowing I’d be here, and he’s parading around with those two leeches he calls friends, even after I told him I can’t stand seeing him with them.

And now I’m really gonna worry about what might or might not reach his ears? I’m gonna care about what he thinks, even after he made it clear, through words and actions, that he doesn’t give a shit about what I think?

Fuck.

I’m so, so stupid.

“You know what? Screw it.” I turned my back on her and walked off, chugging the rest of that beer—over half the bottle—in one go, then tossing the empty bottle into some nearby bushes. I still had to hang my jacket somewhere.

Suddenly, an even louder song blasted through the place, and Mirio burst out of the house, shirtless, with a grin from ear to ear. Everyone stopped to stare at him.

And somehow, I knew something was about to happen that’d piss me off even more.

“TONIGHT’S OUR NIGHT, FUCK YEAH!” His yell triggered everyone else’s, and the grimace on my face was involuntary. I hate screaming. “I WANNA SEE EVERYONE WET IN THIS BITCH!!”

And he dove into the pool, along with half the people around it.

Now it wasn’t just my jacket that was wet—my face and part of my clothes were too.

Motherfucker.

Perfect.

I never thought I’d say this, but I’m starting to wonder if winning this game was actually a good thing.

If there hadn’t been a victory, there wouldn’t be a party.

And then I wouldn’t be getting fucked over like I am right now.

~*~*~*~

Midoriya

“Only fifteen seconds left in the game. Fifteen seconds.” Kaminari was telling the same story for the millionth time that night—he’d started back in the van—making the same pauses and building the same suspense as the first time.

I sighed, letting him ramble while I filled my plate with some snacks. Jirou had vanished after grabbing her own food—my guess is she went after Mina. Todoroki said he was heading to the drink table to grab some for us, and Shinsou went with him to help carry everything—I made it clear I didn’t want anything with alcohol.

And so, I was left behind with Kaminari, whose only topic of conversation was Katsuki.

My head was starting to hurt again.

“Yuei was winning, but in the last minute, Shiketsu turned it around.” Okay, I already know. Can you talk about something else? “There were only fifteen seconds left, and we’d all accepted defeat. I was already having an existential crisis because I’d kinda bet a good chunk of cash on Yuei winning with some pretty shady people, but whatever.” He waved his hand, as if telling me to forget that part. That was new information. “Then, out of nowhere, we saw Bakugou bolt across the court like a rocket. Seriously, my heart started pounding.”

Please, stop talking, I repeated in my head like a damn sacred prayer, if a sacred prayer could be cursed. I was holding back from voicing my thoughts because I didn’t want to be the buzzkill who ruins the vibe, but it was getting unbearable. I let out another sigh, and Kaminari seemed completely oblivious to my frustration.

“He dribbled past every Shiketsu guy who came at him. I stood up, I was so hyped. Me and everyone else. I never thought a game could stir up so many emotions. The few Yuei games I’ve been to were always so dull—poor Mirio—but anyway. Three seconds left, and the win was Shiketsu’s, but Bakugou made the highest jump I’ve ever seen in my life.” He paused and looked up, like he was watching Katsuki score right now.

I knew that look of admiration in his eyes, and seeing Denki like that reminded me of all the games I’d been to, sitting in different bleachers in different gyms, cheering for the same guy who was making the blond’s eyes sparkle right now.

But today, for the first time, I wasn’t there.

Did Katsuki even notice?

I rolled my eyes and looked down at the food in my hands, shoving the first snacks into my mouth with some aggression.

How ridiculous. Why would he notice? With so many other people cheering for him…

I doubt he even wanted me there anyway. I did him a favor by not going, honestly. Showing up after everything I said to him would’ve been cruel…

Did Uraraka go?

These games aren’t just for students of the competing schools; anyone who wants can go watch.

Ugh, seriously, what am I thinking?

“He made such an unbelievable dunk, I thought the hoop was gonna collapse. Then the buzzer went off, and I felt the floor shaking under my feet. It was insane. We won. I almost went deaf from all the screaming, but I probably made some people deaf too. I couldn’t believe we beat Shiketsu, finally. It was pure ecstasy, I swear. I felt as happy as if I’d scored that shot myself. Man, it must be amazing to be someone like Bakug—”

“I get it, yeah, he’s amazing. How many more times do you need to talk about it to feel satisfied? Maybe you should just write ‘Katsuki fanboy’ on your forehead, it’d be easier.”

I only realized what I’d said after the last word left my mouth.

My eyes widened, and I stared at Kaminari, who gave me an awkward look.

Shit.

Regret hit me instantly.

“I-I mean, I… I’m sorry, Denki, I didn’t mean—”

“It’s okay, Izu.” He gave an uneasy smile, scratching the back of his neck. “You’re right, I didn’t realize I was being annoying. My bad.”

Oh, damn it.

Why do you have to be so sweet, Kaminari? Now I feel like garbage!

“Stop it, you’re not annoying, I’m annoying! You’re awesome!” I set my plate on the table and grabbed his shoulders. His eyes widened. “I’m super annoying, annoying as hell! You’re not annoying at all, okay? I’m so annoying that I get sleepy every time I open my mouth, you know? I don’t even deserve a friend like you, not even close! You’re the man, I don’t know how you stand being around someone as annoying as me, seriously, I’m way too annoying! If I ever talk to you like that again, you have my full permission to hit me, okay? And hit me hard!”

He laughed, pushing my hands off his shoulders.

“Seriously, I should’ve figured talking about Katsuki wasn’t a good idea.” He let out a nervous chuckle. “Is that why you didn’t go to the game? You guys fought again, didn’t you?”

I sighed, looking away.

Oh, Denki, you really don’t want me to ruin your party by talking about this…

You know what? I lost my appetite.

“Yeah. Nothing new under the sun.” I answered simply, not meeting his eyes. “I think I need a drink.” I handed my plate to Kaminari and, without waiting for a reply, started walking.

“But Shouto and Shinsou already went to get—”

I dove into the crowd of people dancing wildly to reach the drink table.

My throat had been begging for a burn for a while, and my brain desperately wanted to detach from certain annoying thoughts…

I really didn’t want to give in to alcohol. I’m not great with drinks, and I’m honestly scared of what might come out of my mouth if I get too tipsy. I don’t trust drunk Izuku; he tends to do some pretty embarrassing things and…

After the game, we hit the bar with everyone and drank our asses off—my first time getting wasted, actually. Of course, Kacchan didn’t miss the chance to tease me about it, mimicking me in the most exaggerated, humiliating way.

“I didn’t do that!” I yelled, indignant at his accusation.

“Oh, you didn't?” Proving me wrong, he whipped out his phone and showed me the pic: me, hair a mess, sprawled on the sidewalk, passed out hugging a panda statue and drooling—Kacchan said I was snoring, too!

I blushed like crazy at that photo I didn’t even know existed, smacking him for laughing at my misery instead of helping me, but I couldn’t help getting caught up in his laughter, giggling too, even though I was still mortified.

I froze in place.

Why does everything, even the simplest, most mundane things, remind me of him?

This is insane.

Damn it, when will I get over this? Is it normal for it to take this long?

Fuck

I hate this.

Sighing, I changed my path, against my instincts.

I definitely can’t drink.

And I can’t keep being around people talking about Bakugou Katsuki.

I spun on my heels toward the front door.

I need air, I need to be alone for just a few minutes, I need—

Wait.

That blond guy standing by the door, wearing the blue-and-white team jacket, is that…?

A chilling wave swept through my stomach.

I swallowed hard, and my heels spun again before I could even process.

The light from the next room spilling into the dim space caught my attention. With stiff arms and legs like a rusty robot, I hurried toward it, despite getting cursed out by a few people I bumped into.

Reaching the lit room, which had a large arched entrance, I saw it was the kitchen. In seconds, I scanned the scene: unlike the living room, packed with sweaty, dancing bodies, the kitchen felt more intimate, a place where some had retreated to escape the chaos of the rest of the house. They leaned against the counter or sink, chatting and laughing calmly, all holding drinks.

I weaved through people to reach the back of the kitchen. Why? I don’t know, my legs had a mind of their own, and I knew they wouldn’t stop until I was locked away somewhere completely alone.

I spotted a door in the corner, and my chest fluttered. It looked like the perfect spot, maybe a pantry or something. I scurried toward it like a mouse fleeing a cat, and a massive sigh of relief escaped me when I turned the knob and the door opened—I’d feared it might be locked.

And then, I was inside the dark room.

Facing the door, I breathed slowly and deeply, trying to calm my racing heart.

The mouse thought its escape was triumphant.

Until it turned and came face-to-face with the cat in its hideout.

The tiny room wasn’t pitch black, thanks to the garden lights filtering through a small window, illuminating the face of the man who turned to me after hanging a black jacket on a clothesline strung up high.

Even in the dim light, I could see the intensity of those red eyes, almost as if the sun’s fierce glow was shining on them.

Instantly, my heart stopped. My legs trembled as if I’d opened that door and stepped into the Arctic.

But why…

Out of all these people…

It had to be you?

Why is it that every step I take away from you…

Only drags me closer to you?

“I-I just… I-I was…” What was I trying to say? I should just turn around and leave through the door I came in. “I… I mean, w-what are you doing here?”

His eyes coldly scanned me from head to toe.

I swallowed hard, and finding myself completely alone in that laundry room with Katsuki, feeling that adrenaline tingling from my fingertips to my core, I regretted everything. I regretted lying to skip the game, regretted letting Mina dress me up like one of her dolls, regretted coming to this damn party…

And I regretted sending those messages.

But it’s not that kind of regret. I did what had to be done, what was right, because there was no other choice. But as much as I said I’d deal with the consequences, I wasn’t actually prepared for them, and realizing that so soon is almost depressing. I thought I could handle it. It’s easy to handle when you’re surrounded by people, easy to face the consequences when you’re not actually staring them down. That’s why I told you to stay away, why I said to avoid me in every way possible and impossible, but now…

Now that we’re completely alone for the first time since everything, and I have to bear the full weight of your gaze on me, I don’t know if I can handle it.

Because that’s how cowards like me are.

“What am I doing here, you asked?” Repeating my question, he let out a nasal laugh. I pressed my lips together and lowered my head, feeling stupid for asking.

Swallowing hard, I noticed, still looking down, that he was holding a black shirt in his hands; it looked wet. Like the jacket, he hung it on the clothesline, then turned his attention back to me. He was wearing a sleeveless gray shirt with a random rock band logo on it, and something told me it wasn’t his.

“What a dumb question. Your stupidity is so massive it’s almost admirable, Deku. Must weigh down that little head of yours, huh?” I pressed my lips tighter, fighting the urge to hug myself. Shit, my heart’s beating too fast, I think… “I’m at my party, because, you know, we won the game today. Cool, right? Funny you don’t seem to know that, since everyone’s talking about it, and this party only exists because of it. But you, nerd? What are you doing here? Because, if I may say, looking at you now…” He took a step closer, and his eyes raked over every inch of me they could reach. I trembled, unable to resist wrapping my arms around myself. “It doesn’t look like you got lost and ended up here by accident, did you? Though, you’re so dumb, I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s the case…”

“I-I just… I…” I swallowed hard, the thump thump thump of my heart louder in my ears than the music outside those four walls. “O-of course I know the party’s because you guys won the game, I just didn’t expect to find you here now, I mean, I knew you’d be at the party, obviously, but I just…” I pressed my lips together, unable to hold that hard, impassive stare, and started staring at my worn red sneakers—the only thing on me that was actually mine. “Sorry, I know I have no right to be here. I didn’t want to come, I…” I took a deep breath. What was I even trying to say? “Anyway. Congrats on the game.”

I turned toward the door, but I knew he wouldn’t let me just walk away.

Before I could even try to reach for the knob, my arms were grabbed with excessive force, and my body was spun around until my wide eyes met his, just as wide.

The difference was, my eyes were full of fear.

And his were full of rage.

My back slammed against the door, and I yelped from the shock, but I knew no one would hear me.

And I knew I had no choice but to face the wrath I’d sown myself.

“Congrats on the game?” I could feel droplets of spit hitting my face, such was the force of his words. I closed my eyes and prayed it would end soon. “Are you fucking kidding me? Do I look like a clown to you? Is that it, I’m a fucking clown for you to laugh at and mock?! You wanna die, huh? You wanna die, you fucking piece of shit?!” And suddenly, a punch slammed into the door, inches from my head.

A gasp escaped my mouth. It made me open my eyes wide and raise my trembling arms in defense, but he was so enraged that I was scared to push him away, afraid he’d snap my arms in half, so I just kept them raised in front of my body, pressed against the door, feeling the force of that punch as if it had hit me.

My left ear, the one near his clenched fist, burned from the proximity, sending an electric jolt through my entire trembling body.

He’d never acted like this with me before. Not even at the festival, when he lost control and threw me on the bed like that.

Katsuki was completely unhinged.

And I was completely terrified.

“You know what pisses me off the most, Deku?” I swallowed hard as he pressed his mouth to my ear, his hot breath hitting my skin. I shuddered from head to toe. “You’re standing there, all shaky, stuttering, and saying ‘congrats on the game’ like some pitiful bastard. I’m curious, do you really buy into this little act you put on? You must’ve felt real badass sending me those shitty messages, huh? Wow, so brave, right, Deku? And now you say ‘congrats on the game’ with that stupid idiot face, like you didn’t tell me to go back to that shitty school? What, you really thought I’d obey you? You think I’m a spineless coward like you?” He pulled back to glare at me, his hand gripping my face roughly, forcing me to look at him. “You skip the game but show up to my victory party dressed like this, hanging off those two idiots I already told you I can’t stand, and for what, huh?” His eyes roamed my face, and when I noticed him linger on my lips for a few seconds before meeting my eyes again, my mouth went dry instantly. “Is it to torture me? To rub in my face what a dumbass I am? What’s your fucking game?”

“I-it’s not like that! I just—”

“Oh, it’s not? Then tell me, what the hell do you want? What’s going through that dumb little head of yours, huh?” Suddenly, the corner of his mouth curled into a smirk. “I know. You’re thinking about how you’re gonna run from me this time, aren’t you? Well, I already know you’re too much of a wimp to say what you think to my face. Bet you’ll leave here with your head down, tail wagging between your legs, thinking about how to send your next super threatening message, but you’ve already blocked me, so what’s the plan? Going old-school with a letter, maybe? Gonna tell me to vanish from the face of the Earth, to move to another planet?” If Katsuki blinked at all, I didn’t notice. He just kept his wide eyes locked on me, like a maniac about to devour his prey. His clenched fist was still by my head, the veins in his arm practically popping out. “Or maybe you’ll pack your bags and move to another country—”

“Fuck, I asked you to respect my decision!” I exploded, shoving his chest hard. You don’t get to think so little of me, Katsuki. I know I hurt you, but that was nothing compared to what I went through because of you, even if you don’t know it. It’s so easy for you to puff out your chest and say a million things when you have no clue about anything, and I don’t even want you to. I want you to stay in your blissful ignorance, far away from me. That’s where we’re at. “Why is it so hard to just respect what I say? I know you can’t understand, but do you have to treat me like this? Did you have to treat me like that in front of Mirio and everyone else…?” I pressed my lips together, my eyes stinging. “What, now you’re gonna treat me like shit, like everyone else did at that damn scho—”

“'Like shit', the same way you treated me?”

Silence.

Because I couldn’t respond to that.

Katsuki smiled, and this time, it wasn’t the same mocking smirk he’d thrown at me in that short span of time.

There was something else there.

And it was that something, despite all the awful things he’d said to me, that made me see he wasn’t just angry with me…

But also deeply hurt.

And that hit me hard.

“You’re used to being the victim, Deku.” He stepped closer, and I didn’t move a muscle. I stared at the tank top partially lit by the outside light, and despite the tiny space, Katsuki didn’t even graze my clothes as he passed by. Then, he opened the door but, before leaving, leaned his mouth to my ear. “But you’re not anymore.”

And he left, slamming the door hard, leaving me alone in that laundry room, lost in the limbo of my own mind.

My eyes fell to the small window, watching the commotion outside. The voices were getting louder, and it seemed like more people kept arriving.

I sighed.

Because the worst part of all this was knowing…

This party was far from over.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇　

cr: hyamotto