Chapter Text
Tony Stark was a tired man.
A very tired and busy man.
A very tired and busy ex-playboy, known philanthropist, and world-renowned superhero who's kickass wife was away on a business trip was tossing and turning in bed.
It was about midnight when it happened.
"You have a text from an unknown number, Sir," F.R.I.D.A.Y spoke up, jolting him awake.
"Unknown number?" He grumbled, sitting up, moving his feet off the bed and planting them on the floor. "How'd they get past the firewalls...?"
So, Tony Stark, opened the text.
Peter it said.
Who the fuck was Peter?
Peter
NED
NED WAKE UP
N
E
D
WAKE UP
NED I STOPPED AN ARMED ROBBERY WHILE ON PATROL AND TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT I'VE BEEN SHOT AND TAZED
I CAN'T EVEN FIGURE OUT WHERE I AM 'CAUSE THE TAZER FRIED MY GPS
NED
NED
N E D
Tony furrowed his eyebrow.
Who the fuck was Peter? Is this a prank? And who's this "Ned"?
"Fri," Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. "Start triangulating the location of whoever's texting me right now."
"Right away, Boss," F.R.I.D.A.Y responded.
It was then Tony typed his response.
????
Who is this and how did you break down the multiple firewalls to text this number
Peter
Ned come on
You know we make games of breaking through each other firewalls
And honestly?
This one wasn't your best work
If Tony Stark had been drinking, he would've quickly spewed it all over the floor.
Did some nobody just call HIS, Tony Stark's, genius and tech extraordinaire's coding shoddy!?!
Tony couldn't even finish his reply before this "Peter" continued to text.
Peter
AND ANYWAYS NED I'M BLEEDING PRETTY BADLY AND STUCK ON A ROOF
and drone me a change of clothes plz can't walk into a clinic in my spidey suit, can i?
Fr tho there is a LOT of blood
and my healing isn't kicking in for some reason
"Okay," Tony muttered, shuffling out of his room, lights flicking on automatically as he sleepily skulked to his lab. "This has to be some type of joke. Friday, what's the progress on pinging this brat's location?"
"I am trying Sir," F.R.I.D.A.Y's voice came back. If an AI was capable of sounding perplexed, F.R.I.D.A.Y was doing it. "The signal keeps getting bounced around. I am certain the texts originate from New York, but according to the current signal, this 'Peter' is simultaneously in Hong Kong, London, Seoul, Los Angeles, and Dubai."
Damn. Whoever this is they're smart...
"It will take a few minutes longer then normal for me to de-encrypt the signals Boss and ping his location, I am working on it," F.R.I.D.A.Y continued.
Tony's eye twitches.
????
WHO IS THIS
Peter
Really, Ned?
How many other friends do you know who was bit by by a radioactive spider
Anyways i'd like to bring attention back to the fact I've been SHOT, Ned
Tony almost dropped his phone.
????
Who are YOU and who is this Ned????
I'm not Ned!
Peter
Oh shirt
I'm sorry!
Please don't tell anyone
I'll kindly erase myself from your phone now
????
I won't tell anybody, please stay on the line
"I have not managed to triangulate his location yet, Sir," F.R.I.D.A.Y's voice chimed in as Tony quickly completed the walk to his lab. "But I have managed to begin infiltrating his phone. His full name is Peter Benjamin Parker. He lives in Queens with his aunt May Parker."
"What kind of deadbeat still lives with his aunt!?!"
"One who's fifteen and still in high school, Boss," F.R.I.D.A.Y snarked back. "He attends Midtown High School for STEM Sciences via scholarship. Hacking into their systems now, Sir. It also appears he pays for other school fees by refurbishing and selling old and broken electronics or revamping friends' devices. He seems to be quite gifted at it too if the fact that now the signal is trying to tell me he's in Basel and Kyiv is anything to go by."
????
Hey kid why is it telling me you're 15???
You know what forget about though
How bad is the blood loss?
Tony didn't know if this was real or not but it couldn't help to take it seriously... right?
Peter
I'm really dizzy ngl
And the puddle of blood is like four feet wide
"According to Midtown, Peter B. Parker has a 4.0 GPA and the Academic Decathlon he participates in won National Finals, and according to articles online it was points from questions that Peter had answered that won them the victory," F.R.I.D.A.Y chimed in suddenly.
"That doesn't explain how he got past my firewalls!" Tony muttered, quite annoyed as he typed back. "And put Cho on standby..."
????
Okay kid just try to stay with me
Okay?
I'll try to grab your location
Peter
You're not gonna kidnap me or call an ambulance, are you?
"Jeez what does this kid have about ambulances..." Tony muttered.
????
No
Look kid just keep talking
Trying to ping your location from texts
Maybe tell me what happened?
Peter
Well
So i was just swinging and suddenly i notice this group of guys trying to break into a tech store
And i of course swing in to stop them
Wait... swinging?
No way this kid is actually Spiderman, Tony's been searching him for weeks, weeks!
No way this kid accidentally texted him...
Peter
Turns out they all had stun guns except this one guy who had an actual gun
So i web them up, but i get shocked/tazed by the stun guns a couple of times and then dude with the actual gun managed to land a shot in my stomach
Which by the way
major ouchie
But anyways
I web them all up, swing a couple of blocks down, and then i nearly pass out and now I'm stuck on a rooftop of some building
"Friday, verify it!"
"Police report filed as of five minutes ago stating 7 perpetrators who attempted to break into a Stark Industries store was interrupted by Spiderman and then subsequently webbed up. They all appeared to have been armed, with discharged shell casings found on the scene, and 6 stun guns and one handheld pistol found webbed up nearby," F.R.I.D.A.Y responded. "This kid appears to be telling the truth, boss."
Wait, if the kid said he only made it a couple blocks away-
"Friday start zeroing in to cell towers within the service radius of the store that was robbed," Tony ordered.
"Right away Sir,"
Tony started to type in a response but-
Peter
Hey, at least one of the guys with a stun gun made a really funny joke tho! :D
????
You just got shot and tazed and you're happy that one of them made a joke?
Peter
But it was a good one!
????
Kid you're giving me grey hairs from this
...
What was the joke?
Peter
"It's been a shocking experience to meet you!"
????
That's not even that good of a joke
Peter
You're right
Nowhere near as good as the "It's knife to meet you" before getting stabbed
Oh Tony was so gonna get grey hairs from this.
????
YOU'VE BEEN STABBED ????
Peter
Eh happens every few days
They're always gone in a day or two tho
????
WHAT
Peter
Honestly i don't know why the bleeding hasn't even slowed down yet
Normally the bleeding chills out somewhat by now
????
Yup I'm getting grey hairs from this
Can you at least make out any landmarks?
Peter
Uhhhhh
I see a place called "Terry's Books 'n' Coffee"
????
Anything else?
Peter
I see a sign for Subway
"Fridaaaaay!" Tony called as he set his phone down and went to a console to hopefully aid Friday in tracking down this kid. "Set parameters to places with a Terry's Books n coffee and a Subway's nearby!"
Another ping, which meant another text.
"And set my phone to voice type for now!"
Peter
Why do you need landmarks anyways?
????
'So i can track down your location
The signal kept kept trying to tell me you were in Basel, Switzerland one moment then Kyiv, Ukraine the next
Peter
Nice to know that location scrambler is working
Tony facepalmed.
Location scrambler, of course!
????
Anyways kid i need more texts
Way don't you tell me what you want to be when you grow up?
That's a good conversation starter with a kid, right?
Peter
I think I'm gonna into bio-engineering
Or maybe robotics
I won't lie accessibility robots and prosthetic limb developments are incredibly interesting to me
Impressive. Tony thought. That's not a common career path for many kids... And those coding skills are impressive...
????
Well you got any idea where you wanna work at when you graduate?
Peter
Stark Industries
Okay Tony act like you don't own the company the kid is talking about...
????
Oh?
You'd have to get really high grades for that
What about Oscorp?
Peter
First off, school is ridiculously easy and i have a 4.0 average
Second off Oscorp can burn straight to the ground for all i care
Thirdly
Did i mention i hate Oscorp?
Okay, Tony was starting to like this kid.
????
Fair enough, I can't stand Oscorp (or Hammer Industries too) either
Curious though, why the hatred for Oscorp?
The human experimentation?
Peter
They WHAT!?!
No, their labs are just wildly unsafe!
????
Well that to
Peter
Seriosly tho
Got my powers from getting bit by one of their "enhanced" spiders while on a field trip
As one of them randomly fell from the ceiling onto my wrist while i was taking a picture
A PICTURE
????
So are your webs biological or...?
Peter
I wish! That would be cool...
No, i make them myself in chem
Took a few tries for me to find a design that worked for the web shooter
????
Impressive
Peter
Hey I'm getting sleepy can i take a nap?
"FRIDAY RUSH THAT LOCATION PING RIGHT NOW-"
"Location found, Sir!" F.R.I.D.A.Y chirped.
"Alert Cho, I'm gonna go get that kid! Send the coordinates to the suit!"
????
Coming to get you, kid
Peter's head felt like it was full of static.
Everything felt warm and gushy, probably from the pool of blood.
Black had begun to tinge the edge of his vision, staining it as his consciousness began to fade.
But it was then he heard it.
The sound of... repulsors?
Huh?
But then, he passed out, tumbling into a swirling black void.