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Being in love with your best friend was the most painful thing you could experience.
So it's a good thing Buck didn't know what that type of pain was like, because in no way was he in love with Eddie. Absolutely no way. Totally impossible. Not only is he Buck's best friend, but he is his straight best friend. Straight. Eddie the straight man. Into women. Not at all into men. No way.
Has he mentioned his straight best friend. Eddie. That one. Eddie Diaz.
Straight best friend.
So back to the point, Buck doesn't know what it is like to be in love with his best friend and doesn't know the pain that comes with it. Because he loves his best friend like any normal best friend would. Has he done stuff that might be considered over the top? Maybe, but sometimes best friends do that. They go over the top but getting them into contact with someone to help their kid or build their kid a skateboard so they can experience something like any other kid. Or save that same kid in a tsunami. Or be named in their will to take care of the kid if he dies, which is never if Buck has anything to say about it. But yeah he doesn't feel like those things are over the top, but he could see why someone could get confused.
Him and Eddie are just really close.
And they would do anything for the other. Like rent the others place so the other can move to a new state to be with his son and not have to worry about it anymore.
Which is where Buck was. In a place that always felt like home, but suddenly didn't.
Maybe that stupid saying about the house doesn't make the home the people do is on to something. Either way Buck doesn't stay in the house for the first couple nights. Maddie opens the door with a smile, Jee just happy to see her uncle. Chim might be debating whether or not it's worth it to attempt to pick Buck up to get him off the couch but he never tries.
Of course Maddie says something, about him needing to make new friends. But Buck doesn't want that. He has friends. He has great friends. Loves all of them equally, the same really.
He has a hard time proving that to Ravi.
The guy is fun, and it doesn't help that they don't have a whole lot in common. It's not either of their faults, just who they are. And in the end they do both try. Buck just won't shut the hell up about Eddie. And he knows he is talking to much about the guy, but the stories are great. It gets him to laugh instead of crying over the fact that he has to go to a empty place that shouldn't be empty or quiet. He can tell Ravi isn't interested and he does feel bad. He does want a new friend because he wants to have someone close like that again, and not worry about different time zones in order to talk to each other. So Buck keeps trying, talking about how great of a guy Eddie is, and brings up the silver star.
He knows Ravi is waiting for the right time he can say its getting late and he should head home, so he makes them play quarters. Bringing up Eddie once again of course, because he learned it from him. Ravi sucks at it, so when he loses he gets more beer. And Buck is happy to get more drinks, because more drinks means more of a chance to not think about how fucking sad he is.
Ravi not only brings back beer, but also has Tommy with him. Sits the man down across from Buck and leaves.
Buck feels like the only appropriate response to that is to put mustard in his work boots for their next shift together.
"So how are things?" Tommy asks.
That question of course leads to Buck having sex with Tommy in his new place. In Eddie's house.
Buck chooses to ignore the strange feeling he gets when he realizes Tommy is the first person he ever slept with in Eddie's house. That obviously couldn't be anything important.
He wakes up and doesn't feel that and when he sees he is alone. Then he walks into the kitchen and sees Tommy. And there's breakfast. Buck thinks of all the morning he's had with Eddie, he sits on the counter and pushes the thoughts away. Tommy goes on talking about how great the night was, and yeah Buck has to agree the night was nice. But he also knows what this is, at least he thought he did.
Tommy gives him an opening to agree to start again. To be together once again.
He ruins it of course by saying something stupid. "Now that the competition is gone"
And Buck is confused, who was Tommy competing with. He wasn't trying to see anyone when they were dating, Buck was just starting to accept his feelings for the guy and the fact that he was a guy that he didn't really look anywhere other then Tommy in the beginning of their relationship.
"Come on, don't make me say it Evan"
What the fuck.
"Eddie!" Buck pretty much just shouts. Tommy whispers a response, almost like if he talks to loud Eddie will just reappear. Buck wishes he did. "He's straight" Buck says, like there couldn't possibly be any other answer. Tommy scoffs out an ok.
Buck sees red.
"I don't have to sleep with everyone I have feelings for. And I don't have to have feelings for everyone I sleep with" and yeah he hears it once he says it. It's mean. Rude and uncalled for. He tries to stop Tommy, but he once again walks out a door, away from Buck.
He almost wants to laugh at the fact that he ruined this twice.
Buck cries while cleaning up an untouched breakfast, and wishes he could go back to when this wasn't his kitchen.
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Buck starts off his next shift giving Ravi apology muffins. And a promise to never ask him to hang out unless he truly wants to, Ravi laughs, "Maybe next time we don't go to a bar. Start there"
Buck nods and leaves him alone to enjoy the muffins. And that was his first mistake of the day. Because Buck forgot that Ravi is the one who shoved Tommy at home, forgot that Ravi knows Buck was hanging out with Tommy, and really Buck knows the guy isn't stupid. Ravi is gonna assume that Buck slept with the guy, and he sadly isn't wrong.
So when he sits up in the kitchen, watching Bobby cook, he allows himself to feel a moment of just being calm. The universe throws a fucking hammer at him. "Oh I forgot to ask, how was hanging out with Tommy?" Ravi says with some apology muffin in his mouth. Chim chokes on his water, Bobby gives him a look, and Hen sets her phone down. "Tommy!" they all yell at the same time. Buck hates how he focuses on the fact that one voice is missing. "Damnit" Buck whispers.
Chim gives him a pissed off look, "You called Tommy?"
Buck shakes his head. "Texted him?" Hen asks. Buck groans. "I thought you got over that?" Bobby asks. "I did. I didn't call him"
Ravi nods, "Yeah I saw him at the bar and brought him over to Buck. Was that a bad choice?" he asks once he notices everyone faces. "Yes!"
Again, one voice is missing.
"Ok wait, maybe it isn't that bad." Hen says and makes Buck look at her, "Did you just hang out?"
Buck nods.
"Ok good. At the bar right?" She asks. "Yeah" and he knows how it sounds like a lie. He just can't lie to her. It's like lying to Athena. It's impossible. "Buck"
"We hung out at the bar" he says, "in the beginning" he whispers the last part but knows they hear him. "You went back to his place?" Chim asks. Buck shakes his head. "Of course not."
They all let out a sign of relief. "We went back to mine"
Chim curses.
Bobby gives him a worried look.
"Buck" Hen says like she is talking to a child. Buck just shrugs. "It was just a hookup, nothing bad. Not like we are getting back together"
They all gives him a look, and yeah he gets it. They know him to well and they probably think he is lying. "Ok we almost did I think but I ruined any chance of that"
Chim yells out a yes and Bobby laughs. "How did you do that?"
Buck feels like he turns pale for a bit, they all raise an eyebrow.
"He said something and it pissed me off. Nothing important" he gets up to walk away but is stopped by Hen. "Sit down. What did he say"
Buck doesn't sit back down, but he does turn around and look at them. He rubs the back of his neck and chuckles. "Just something stupid, no reason to bring it up. All you guys are gonna do is laugh and agree so what's the point" he says. No one takes the bait. He rolls his eyes. "I asked him if he was still worried about me breaking his heart and he said no be- because the competition was gone"
No one laughs like Buck was hoping for.
"Competition? Like Eddie?" Chim asks. Buck nods. "Yeah he assumed and talked about the fact that I'm renting the place and scoffed when I said Eddie was straight. That's stupid right? I'm not in love with Eddie"
Again it doesn't get the reaction he is hoping for.
They all look at each other and shrug.
"It's not the craziest thing in the world" Hen says. Chim nods. "I mean you are buckandeddie. Don't know why I haven't thought of that before honestly" Chim says.
Ravi nods and laughs, "I mean I did assume you two were together when I first started"
"You guys have been mistaken for a couple before. I mean you told me about that elf lady when you took Chris to see Santa" Bobby smiles.
Buck doesn't move. This isn't suppose to be like this. They are suppose to laugh and call Tommy stupid for assuming that. Why the hell are they not disagreeing?
"Eddie is straight" Buck says. They all shrug. "Yeah, doesn't exactly have to stop your feelings. Look we aren't saying you do have feelings, just saying it wouldn't be crazy" Hen says.
The alarm goes off before Buck can say anything else.
It doesn't matter anyway, all he was gonna say was Eddie is straight once again.
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The shift was hell.
They didn't bring it up when they got back from the call, but it was stuck in Buck's head for the rest of his shift.
He doesn't go back home after his shift, he goes to Maddie.
The minute he walks in, he starts baking. She folds at the counter and watches him, waiting for whatever treat he is making with a smile. He rambles on about what happened with Tommy and what happened during the start of his shift. And for a moment he thinks he can get Maddie on his side.
He does not.
"Are you?"
"In love with Eddie?" Buck asks. He doesn't know who he is asking, but ignores it. "As much as everyone seems to want me to be in love with my straight best friend. I'm not. He is straight"
"Wouldn't be the craziest thing" she mumbles.
Buck hates the sting in his chest. He isn't in love with his best friend. He doesn't say it out loud though, he says it to himself.
They talk more about how Buck acted to Tommy and how he feels like he should say sorry and call him. Maddie thinks he should call Eddie and he will, he always will. But he still feels bad for using Tommy.
He doesn't call either of them.
He goes out and unpacks. And for a moment he is happy and feels more free. He can finally call it his place.
He sits on his couch for an hour because it realizes he decorated it exactly how Eddie did when this was his place.
He doesn't have the guts to move it, doesn't want it to be any different. He has to walk in this place alone, why not have it look like it use to. He sleeps there that night. He wakes up with red eyes and his pillow it wet.
He cried in his sleep. Doesn't know why, but he also can guess why. He misses Eddie and Chris. All that he has left is their home.
It use to be his favorite place, now he can't wait for any excuse to leave it.
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The first person he allows himself to talk about it with is Athena. She is the only one who he hasn't told and well maybe she will be the first to call everyone stupid and be on Bucks side.
She calls Buck stupid and laughs at him.
"You have got to be kidding me." She keeps laughing, "You don't see it?". Buck knows what she is wanting him to see, what she thinks she sees, what the others can see. What they call so obvious and not the craziest thing in the world. "I just don't get it. Just because I'm bisexual doesn't mean I like every guy I know. I don't have feelings for Bobby, Chim or Ravi, so I must have feelings for Eddie" he tries. She shakes her head. "You don't have to have feelings for every guy, that is true. And I'm sorry if that was your first thought when people talked about this, but I-I don't know. I think Eddie is just different" she shrugs. Buck groans. "How? He is my straight best friend. That's it"
"I'm not saying you have feelings, that is for you to figure out. All I'm saying is I agree I wouldn't be shocked if you came forward and said it. And him being straight has nothing to do with your feelings, stuff happens. As long as you don't push for anything that he doesn't want I see no harm in a little crush" She says.
Crush
The word sounded so wrong. It sounded so vague when it was suppose to mean something for Eddie. Like it wasn't enough. Wouldn't be enough to describe everything that Buck has ever felt towards Eddie.
Which is nothing but simple platonic love, but still, that wouldn't be the word.
"It's you and Eddie, Buck. I would be shocked if neither of you had some type of feeling towards the other. Almost wouldn't make sense"
"But me and him wouldn't make sense together. Even if, and i mean if, he wasn't straight, why settle for me?" Buck laughs, "I mean I broke Tommy's heart twice and all my other ex's ran, how could Eddie be any different?"
She shrugs. "Guess we won't ever know. Cause no feelings towards him, right?" she asks. Gives a little smirk, like she knows how his brain is starting to overthink it all. "Yeah no feelings. Like that. At all" he whispers. She chuckles and pats his back. "You staying for dinner?" she asks. He nods. Any chance he stay away from his place he takes.
Bobby makes dinner. And they don't talk about it again, but it stays in Buck's head.
He lays in his bed that night, leaving an open spot right next to him and stares at it.
It wouldn't make sense, him and Eddie being together. Right?
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Bobby is the next person he talks too. He doesn't plan to, his original one is to ignore all of it and never speak of it ever again.
Eddie FaceTime's him and ruins all of that.
He sounds miserable and sad and mostly just tired. Buck listens and offers what he can. Which isn't a lot because of their distance, but he offers to change that, to get a flight now and help where he can. Jokes about being better at helping in person than over a phone. Eddie looks like he wants to say yes, and Buck thinks he almost does. But he shakes his head.
"I honestly don't even know if you could help me here Buck."
He hates hearing that. Everything in him is begging to just scream let me help. I can try and I promise to make everything better for you. Maybe even get you to come home. Instead he just nods and offers more phone calls, and even plans to call Chris to talk to him. Eddie smiles.
"I miss you, you know that right?" Eddie says. Buck nods. "I know. And I miss you too, probably more then I should, maybe even more then you miss me"
"Impossible" Eddie says softly. "God what would I do without you. You make everything less dull and colorless"
Buck laughs, "You saying you see colors when I'm with you?"
He means it as a joke, teasing really. Thinks that what Eddie is going at.
It is not apparently.
"Everything is just brighter when I'm with you, safer too"
Buck freezes. "Yeah?"
"Yeah"
"You-also-you make things brighter too" he says, feels like it's something he shouldn't say. But he did. And there wasn't a consequence in sight. "Well I have to go pick Chris up. My mom is finally letting me so I should leave now if I want to get there in time" Eddie says. Buck nods.
They just look at each other for a minute.
"Gonna make me hang up first?" Eddie teases. Buck nods again. "I don't think I'm capable of pressing that button right now"
Eddie laughs, "Ok, I'll hang up first. This time Buckley. Your turn next"
"Deal"
Eddie says another goodbye, listens to Buck's soft goodbye and hangs up first.
Bobby finds him in the locker room, sitting and just staring at him phone. He sits next to him. "You ok?" the older man asks.
"Does Athena make your life less dull and colorless?" he finds himself asking. Bobby laughs. "Never really thought about it, but I think so. Defiantly warmer, safer, more comfortable." Bobby answers.
"How did you know you were in love with her?"
"I didn't, I just was"
Buck nods.
"Bobby?"
"Yeah Buck?"
"I-I shouldn't-I can't" he stops. Bobby pats his back. "It's him Bobby. I can't-I'm not in love with him?" He doesn't mean to make it a question, but once it's out there, he hopes Bobby has an answer. He doesn't get one. Bobby rubs his back, and until the alarm goes off, they sit in silence.
Evan Buckley is not in love with Eddie Diaz.
Right?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hen is next and this one is planned. He had just gotten done with another Facetime call with Eddie and Chris even showed up. It was the best conversation he ever had. He was able to see both of them smile, and realizes he can't remember the last time he saw them both like that. El Paso really must be their place now, they just look so happy.
Even if it's without him.
So he hangs up, telling Eddie that it's his turn to hang up first for their next call and gets a laugh out of the man. "Anything for you Buckley"
He heads straight to Hen's after the call is over.
She opens the door and just smiles and lets him in.
"How did you know you loved Karen?" he asks. Brings up the life being dull and colorless, asks about how safe she feels with Karen and asks once again, how she knew. Hen shrugs. "We went on a date, we almost ended things and Chim lied and told her I died to make her see how much she loved me and she just showed up here. Yelling at me and I couldn't ignore the feeling that-that I just wanted her in my life. Even if she yells at me the entire time. I just couldn't imagine my life without her"
"I-I don't have him in my life right now" he starts, and he has to hold up his hands to stop her from talking, "I don't have him. And its sad, I'm sad. That doesn't mean I'm in love with him. It can't- I can't" he stops again. "Just because I miss him and want him back home doesn't mean I'm in love with him. Right?"
She hugs him. "I can't answer that for you Buck"
He hugs back.
Why does everyone keep saying that?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chim is on accident.
Buck is still stuck on his conversation with Hen. Compares it to what Bobby told him. But he doesn't feel it being enough to make any sort of descion. Which again, there is no descion to make. Because once again, Evan Buckley is not in love with Eddie Diaz.
"Hey Buck you good?" Chim asks. "How did you know you were in love with my sister? When did you guys stop being just friends?" he asks. Chim goes wide eyes and looks around. "Uhh should I get Bobby?"
"Answer the question please"
Chim shrugs, "I don't know. I just remember you opening your big mouth, saying we were already dating and the thoughts just kept pouring in. I think, and believe me I hate saying this, you were right. We were dating without knowing it, so I don't think we stopped being friends. We just realized it was something else"
Buck nods. "ThankS"
"You doing ok?"
Buck almost nods, but ends up shaking his head. "I don't-don't think so". Chim nods and moves to grab Bucks arm. "What's going on in your head?"
"Too much"
"What can I do?"
Buck shrugs. He wants answers, but so far no one is giving him any. How could Chim be any different? The other man lets out a sign. "Called Eddie today yet?"
Buck shakes his head.
"Alright. Let's hear about his day, shall we?"
Buck smiles and nods.
The call goes great, Eddie doesn't question Buck, but he knows he will soon.
Eddie ends the call, but tells Buck it's his turn next.
When the line goes dead, Chim just stares at Buck. "Man you gotta kn-"
"No. I'm not in lo-I'm just not"
He doesn't even believe himself.
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Maddie is next, that one is really not planned. She invites him over, saying how much Jee misses him and he falls for it.
He shows up, and it's just Maddie sitting on the couch, patting the spot next to her.
He doesn't end up talking really. Unless you count sobbing out words as a way to communicate. He cries in her arms. She rubs his back and tells him it's ok, that he is allowed to feel the way he does towards Eddie. No one can blame him, nor will anyone hate him for it.
He doesn't fight it this time. Knows it's pointless. Knows the the moment he says it, he will know it's not true.
Evan Buckley is in love with Eddie Diaz.
So it's not a matter of Buck not being in love, it's just he can't.
Not with Eddie. Not with his best friend.
His straight best friend.
He cries for too long, even when Chim and Jee come back home. He gets a big hug from his niece. An even bigger hug from Chim, and another hug from Maddie. They let him know he can stay, but he shakes his head.
He just wants to sleep long enough to forget all of it.
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Buck handles it all for four days. Is able to go to work, look at his friends and Facetime Eddie. He does great. Ignores the pain in his chest when he sees Eddie smile. Ignores the looks the other give him anytime Eddie is mentioned or Buck walks away to answer a call or text.
It gets through it for a total of four days.
It starts with a Facetime call.
The conversation started simple, Eddie tells him how great Chris is doing and that he has actually been staying with him instead of Eddie's parents. They talked through the Kim situation and everything is going great and getting back to normal.
Then Eddie asks how Buck is doing, and he gets a funny look when Buck answers he's fine.
"What?"
"They told me about Tommy, how you almost got back together" Eddie says. Buck coughs. "Oh" and he feels a panic attack coming. What else did they say? Did they tell him everything? "Umm what did they say? What else did they say, about it?" Buck asks.
"Don't be mad at them, I questioned them. I was worried about you. You were off and I was worried and didn't know how to bring it up" Eddie says, "I almost made Chris call you but I got worried it was something you didn't feel comfortable talking to him about so I asked them. And they told me about your hookup and how something happened that made it so you two aren't getting back together. And Chim told me you stayed at his place for the first couple nights."
They didn't tell him.
"Can I ask what happened? With Tommy?"
"He just said something that pissed me off. Made it seem like he was happy that you-you were gone. That's all, I got mean and ruined any chance I had"
"So your heartbroken? From Tommy once again" and Eddie sounds pissed. Buck shakes his head. "No. I don't think I would've gotten back together with him anyway. Think I just used him for the night, distract myself"
"From what?" Eddie asks. Buck laughs. "Everything. The fact that a place that I loved being at so much felt so unfamiliar and weird to be at, the fact that my best friend left and if I stayed and if I unpacked it meant it was a sure thing. That you two weren't coming back. That I lost you for good"
"Buck"
"I know, it's stupid. Just hurts you know. And then you go on talking about me making your life less dull and how much brighter it is with me and it's unfair. Why didn't you tell me this when you were here? When I could actually have you"
Eddie doesn't say anything. Buck hears it, finally understands what he just said. Hates what it means, what he might have admitted.
"Not-I didn't mean it like anything weird, just-why tell me this when you are in El Paso?"
Eddie still doesn't answer, just stares.
Takes him two minutes to talk. "What exactly did he say?"
Buck groans. "Just something stupid"
"Tell me"
Buck doesn't tell him.
"Please"
Buck doesn't stand a chance. "He said he could get back with me and wasn't worried because he competition was gone. That-that you were gone"
"Oh"
Buck laughs. "Stupid right. He thought I was in love with you and laughed when I said you were straight. Just pissed me off how he could talk about you like that". Eddie doesn't laugh. "He thought?" Buck gives a weird look. Eddie repeats it again, and again.
"Does that mean you aren't?"
"You're straight Eddie. I can't be in-I can't"
"That's not answering my question Evan. And honestly it wouldn't be the craz-"
Buck hangs up the phone and shuts it completely off.
It was his turn anyway.
He doesn't think he is gonna let Eddie have his turn next.
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Buck doesn't answer Eddie's texts or calls for the next three days. He gives Chris one word responses, mostly just ok or fine. Doesn't take the chance to answer his calls, so he refuses to answer, and each time it feels like a needle poking his heart. It hurts and he hopes Chris will forgive him as some point. But he figures this is the best he can do.
He on his last hour of his shift and he was cleaning something, he might of finished it but he ended up sitting down on the bench and kind of lost track of everything. His phone keeps going off, either Chris or Eddie trying to get ahold of him, or Maddie asking if he is ok.
He really isn't.
But what else can he say.
Every person he has talked to and told him he isn't giving an answer, every person has told him it wouldn't be the craziest thing. They have told him it makes sense and when he asked they gave him stories on how they fell in love. And all he could do is compare it to what he feels.
He knows. At this point he would be really stupid to not know, not when it's been thrown at his face this much. So he knows, he also knows he can't be in love with his best friend.
Guess he does know the pain of being in love with one. Really is a pain like no other.
Ravi walks over to him. "So I think I owe you an apology"
Buck shakes his head. "For what? A crappy night that I planned?"
Ravi laughs, "No. For making your business known and not keeping my mouth shut. I shouldn't have said anything about Tommy. I'm sorry" Buck shrugs. "No man really. I'm sorry. I know you've been going around asking people if they think your in love with Eddie because of what Tommy said and I can see it bugging you. A lot"
"I chose to sleep with the guy. You just pushed him towards me"
"So can I ask, since we are friends-" "Are we? No offense but it seems like you don't like me?"
"Start up friends" Ravi sits next to him. "Are you good? Have you figured what you wanted out?"
Buck shrugs. "I think I figured out I'm an idiot for thinking I should fall in love with a guy who happens to be my best friend and who is one hundred percent only into women", leave it to Buck to be the one who does all that. "And now he knows and I'm too scared to talk to him and hear him talk about how dumb I am and weird and how he never wants to talk to me again"
"How do you know he would say that?" Ravi asks. "I did say he is straight right? Like that was said?"
"Yes, you've said it a few times. But being straight doesn't mean he is gonna hate you. Not return the same feelings, yeah sure, but it's Eddie and you. I don't find it possible for him to hate you for anything. And you are the last person I would ever think would make someone uncomfortable. He-he loves you, and I don't even know the guy that well but he has to. For all the stories you told me and everything I have seen. There has to be some form of love he feels for you and it's not something that can go away from this one thing"
It hurts to hear someone say Eddie loves him and not mean it the way he wishes they would. But he knows that Ravi is right. He lets out a sign and smiles. "Yeah. Me and Eddie as everyone likes to say. Guess I should call him?"
"Would be a good idea. And listen, lets plan another hang out. Something we both find fun and I promise not to throw another one of your exs at you." They both laugh.
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Buck drives home, planning an entire speech so he can make sure Eddie knows how sorry he is.
Sorry for avoiding calls and texts.
Sorry for hanging up without saying a thing.
Sorry for avoiding Chris as well.
And most importantly, sorry for being in love with him.
He parks his car, and has a heart attack.
Eddie's truck is parked right in front of his house. Eddie's truck, which is suppose to be in El Paso, is right in front of his house. And connected to it is a fucking U-Haul.
Buck runs to the front door and opens it. Standing in his living room that must look exactly the same as it did before he moved, is Eddie Diaz.
"You are suppose to be in El Paso" Buck shuts the door. Still not taking his eyes off Eddie, afraid he might not be real and wants to focus on him as long as he can. "You are suppose to answer my calls" Eddie says back.
"I was gonna call you, if that helps" Buck smiles. Eddie gives him a dirty look. "Really? What made you decide that?"
"Sleep with Tommy again?" Eddie says before Buck can answer. Oh.
"Ravi told me I was stupid basically"
Eddie nods and whispers a sorry. Buck shrugs. "Fair question. But I am done with him, or he really done with me. Either way that is done." Eddie gives him another look that he can't read. "Would you-are you upset about that?"
Buck shakes his head. He is done with Tommy, has been. He will be sorry that he used the guy like that and he hates that he did it, acted like how he use to. But there is no future with them again, and he really is ok with it. "Good"
"Why are you back? Where is Chris?"
"He's sitting in my-your room. Wanted to give us a minute. He missed you"
"I missed him. He's not mad at me? For not answering him" Buck asks. Eddie laughs. "If he is he didn't mention it so good luck with that conversation. But I think we need to go back to ours, before you hung up on me"
"It was my turn" Buck mumbles. "Buck come on"
"What? You know. What is there to talk about? I am in love with you and I know I shouldn't be and I know I can't but I am. I promise you don't have to worry about me grabbing you or trying anything. Just please don't make me leave. I will promise anything and everything for you just please don't make me leave"
"I'm not straight" Eddie says, ignoring all that was said. Buck is pretty sure his brain breaks. "No you are. You are"
"Please tell me what my sexuality is one more time" Eddie smirks. "How?" Buck needs to sit down. He lost his whole argument. What can he say now? "Me and Chris talked and I realized some things. Seems like you did as well, though weirdly enough you are taking it so much worse then I did"
Buck might be hyperventilating. Or maybe he isn't breathing. He can't tell. Eddie isn't straight. That is the only thing he needs to focus on. "Good for you. I guess" Buck says. Eddie walks towards him. "You are in love with me" it's not a question, Buck still nods. "I love you too."
"Me? You love me? Evan Buckley"
Eddie nods and smiles. "Yes, you Evan Buckley are the person I am in love with"
"So that means I can love you. It's allowed. I can be in love with you?" Buck asks.
"I would prefer that yes"
"And your home? For good? Like both you and Chris live in LA again?" Buck hates how desperate he sounds. He knows the answer, he saw the truck and the trailer. Knows what that means. "Yeah, as long as you don't mind some roommates?"
Buck smiles and hugs Eddie. Picks him up and spins them around.
His best friend is home. The best kid he has ever met is home. The two people that mean more to him then anyone else are finally back, and are staying once again.
Buck can be in love with his best friend.
Evan Buckley can love Eddie Diaz.