Chapter Text
Benjamin had a glimmer of happiness for the first time in years. Ayin had finally somewhat returned to his old self, dedicating himself fully to a project with boundless passion.
The man was as brilliant as he remembered, coming up with ideas inconceivable to the average scientist, ideas that any sane person would consider preposterous yet somehow managing to make those ideas a reality. Ayin was stubborn like that.
Though… he wasn’t sure if their current project was particularly healthy. He missed Carmen just as much as his mentor did, her cheerful demeanor and endless well of hope sharply contrasted with everything in this accursed world, a world she dreamed to change for the better.
He still remembered the day they met her as if it were yesterday. A woman by her lonesome, speaking of her dreams for the world and calling upon others to join her project. No one paid any attention to her, even Benjamin, but Ayin did. Ayin listened, so Benjamin did as well.
The ambition of such a dream, the sheer audacity of her claims. Were he to read the same words from a piece of paper he’d have called Carmen a lunatic, someone who doesn’t understand even the most basic rules of the world. Yet in that moment, when he was actually listening to her speech, Benjamin knew that she’d make that impossibility a reality, for she had passion enough to outweigh the rest of the city combined.
He missed her greatly, yet he still couldn’t shake the feeling that what they were doing here wasn’t quite right. Making an A.I meant to be an exact replica of Carmen was, quite frankly, an insane idea. They were breaking every A.I related law by creating a being that, for all intents and purposes, was no different from a human.
The head may very well send an army of arbiters and claws to crush them should they be found out.
Yet even ignoring the external dangers, the appearance of the A.I alone raised a dozen alarms in his head. It was meant to be a replica of Carmen, yet everything was ever so slightly off. Her hair an azure blue rather than black, eyes auburn rather than red; not to mention her… assets.
He couldn’t shake the feeling that Ayin was warping his perception of Carmen, creating an unrealistic ideal within his conscious, and he dreaded what would happen should their creation fall short of that ideal.
Benjamin decided to make his worries known, even if he was afraid of the two of them parting again. He decided long ago that he’d give his all to help Ayin, and that included stopping him from heading down the wrong path.
Ayin didn’t agree.
“There’s no need to worry about the head. We’re a wing now, not just a small laboratory. Even the head won’t be able to find out this secret, especially since its duty will begin and end with the seed of light project.”
Benjamin still wasn’t convinced. “Even so, I advise you to be restrained with your expectations Ayin. There’s a very real chance it won’t be the same as her.”
Ayin shook his head in response. “We completely mapped out Carmen's neural structure and perfectly replicated it into a digital form. It will be the same as her.”
His stoic facade broke for a single moment, desperation bleeding into his voice.
“ It has to be. ” He whispered.
Benjamin didn’t like that tone one bit, so he decided to keep pushing.
“Even still, cogito proves that there is more to a person beyond just neurons. The soul of a person is far more important, which is something we aren’t able to replicate.”
He had to hold back a sigh at the sight of Ayin’s crestfallen expression.
“I’m just saying Ayin, please don’t think of it as Carmen revived. It’s much closer to a team project between you and her.” Benjamin waited for his response with bated breath, expecting some form of anger or denial.
That expectation turned out to be false, Ayin just stared into nothing for a while, his face contorted in a deeply thoughtful look.
Benjamin was familiar with that expression. Eyes unfocused, brows slightly furrowed, body completely still with the exception of an index finger tapping his desk. He liked that expression, it meant Ayin was not allowing himself to be devoured by emotion or guilt, it meant that his brilliant mind was working on rationality with nothing clouding his thoughts.
The seconds ticked by, he waited patiently, they had all the time in the world after all.
After nearly ten minutes, Ayin slowly nodded before getting up to leave. Benjamin couldn’t help but smile.
‘It’s not her.’ Ayin thought to himself as their creation stood for the first time. He found himself repeating that phrase more and more as the day of its completion neared. Perhaps because it was simply the logical conclusion, or maybe it was an attempt at detachment in fear of failure.
He honestly didn’t know. In truth, he didn’t know much nowadays. Gone are the days when he saw the world clearly, gone are the days when he was the genius of the seed of light. Gone are the days when they laid under the sun together, talking about nothing and everything.
He shook his head to refocus himself, now was not a time to get distracted.
It opened its eyes for the first time, revealing a pair of auburn irises the same shade as his. Ayin immediately felt something crack within himself.
A surge of irrational hate flowed through his mind, ‘It’s not her!?’. Those eyes were undoubtedly human, the being in front of him was no machine but… it wasn’t her.
Those eyes were human, yet it wasn’t Carmen’s, it held none of what made Carmen herself. There was no brilliance, no optimism. It held none of the brightness that lit up his world.
Benjamin placed a hand upon his shoulder, staring at him with furrowed brows. Ayin didn’t know what that look meant—he rarely did—but it did somehow serve to calm his raging mind.
‘It’s not her.’ He repeated to himself, he’s known this for a long time now. There’s no point in getting angry at it when the failure to recreate her lies squarely on his shoulders.
But that left the question, what was it then? A person based upon Carmen, yet not an exact replica, who was made by his hands.
“Have you ever wanted to have a child?” Asked Carmen.
Ayin somehow wasn’t surprised by the question, being an assistant to the energetic woman meant getting used to ridiculousness like this. “Where did this come from?”
“Just humor me!” She insisted.
He took a moment to think before replying. “Not particularly, I see little point in bringing another human being into this world. They’d be suffering the eternal cycle of the city just like everyone else.”
She hummed in thought. “And if the project succeeds? What if the child has a future worth looking forward to?”
"I guess it would mostly depend on the other potential parent in that case—I don't have a particularly strong opinion on the matter." He said.
Carmen giggled in response; he liked that sound. “That nonanswer is so you.” She pinched his cheek, Ayin didn’t even bother with a halfhearted attempt at stopping her.
She closed her eyes, her voice taking on a melancholic tone. “If the project were to succeed and cure the disease that plagues the souls of humanity, I’d like to have a child. They’d be able to make their own choices and shape their own future and exist in the strange world that we live in. I believe that to be the greatest miracle I can hope to bring into this world.”
Silence fell after that, Ayin couldn’t help but smile. To dream was a great risk to take in the city, yet the woman in front of him did it so easily.
“I’d name them Angelos if they’re a boy, Angela if they’re a girl.” Carmen said.
“Why ‘the messenger’?” he asked.
She smiled brightly before replying. “They’d be the messenger letting the world know that it’s okay to dream, that they all have a future worth looking towards. The first of a generation unchained by the vicious cycle.”
Her optimism was infectious, he was defenseless when faced with it. “Let’s make that dream a reality then. I’ll give it my all to make it happen, I promise you that.”
To his confusion, a furious blush bloomed upon her face. “The things you say sometimes.” She said in utter exasperation.
A confused ‘huh?’ is all she got in response.
So, what was it then? It felt like he knew the answer now, a person born of both him and Carmen.
“I’ll name you Angela.” He finally said, fondness bleeding into his words despite his best efforts.