Chapter Text
Carrying a pup had always been something Hyunjin had wanted. Ever since he was a pup himself. He was confident he’d present as an omega, and he’d been right. And when they’d mated, he eagerly awaited the time when they’d start trying for pups.
So why was it, now that he was pregnant, he was finding it hard to be happy about it?
He knew why, of course. Even though he and Jisung had talked it out, the unease of upsetting him still settled under his skin. He found himself keeping little things to himself, or trying to hide his symptoms in an attempt to balm Jisung’s pain. Jisung had never asked him to do any of those things. In fact, he’d explicitly told him not to. But Hyunjin did them anyway.
That didn’t mean he wasn’t excited for his pup. Sure, he’d found out a little later than most. That hadn’t stopped him from checking in the mirror every morning to see how his belly grew. He hadn’t popped quite yet, but he could tell a little more each day.
Finding out so late also had its benefits. He had missed the entirety of the scary first trimester. He was able to skip right to the fun part. Thinking about names and baby clothes and who they might look like.
And Jeongin. He’d been so attentive since finding out. He’d cater to Hyunjin’s every whim if he’d let him. It was sweet. But Hyunjin could also sense the anxiety that Jeongin held.
He couldn’t blame him for it. The whole situation was more complicated than just a new baby in the pack. Hyunjin could tell he was torn between doting on him and being there for Jisung.
Jisung, to his credit, seemed to be taking things alright so far. Though, they’d only known for two weeks at this point. Hyunjin just hoped that he wasn’t hiding anything from them to spare them.
Yes. He was aware he sounded like a hypocrite.
Felix, however, seemed excited enough about their newest addition for all of them. As evidenced by him bursting through Hyunjin’s door earlier that morning, arms laden with pregnancy clothes.
“Now, I know you still have time before you need to start worrying about this stuff.” Felix dropped the pile on the floor by Hyunjin’s bed, careful not to disturb his nest. “But, I thought we could go through what Minho and I already had and see if there’s some things you want. And then we can get you other stuff if you’d like.” Hyunjin’s heart swelled with fondness as he watched Felix separate the clothes into smaller piles. One for shirts, one for pants, and one for dresses. Felix had picked out a few when he was pregnant with Jinae, but never ended up wearing any of them due to his strict bedrest. Minho hadn’t been interested in wearing them while pregnant with Minseo, but Felix had held onto them in case.
“I’m sure what we already have is fine.” Hyunjin joined Felix on the floor. “No use spending more money on clothes I’ll only wear for a few weeks.” Hyunjin helped Felix separate the clothes, the two working in companionable silence.
Hyunjin ended up finding quite a few items in the pile he actually really liked. Including a blue tank top dress with clouds on it that made it look like a sky. His baby was due around March, so he doubted he’d be able to wear it much. But he also was already thinking about a fun maternity shoot, and the dress would be perfect for it.
“How are you feeling?” Felix asked as they put the rest of the clothes away.
“Restless.” Hyunjin absentmindedly smoothed a hand over his belly. “I am trying very hard not to steal everyone away all the time. We have things to do. But my wolf wants it.” Felix chuckled.
“You know, Seonghwa Hyung experienced something similar when he was pregnant with the twins.” Hyunjin hummed curiously. “You should talk with him. Maybe he can give you some advice.”
“Maybe I will. I didn’t know you and Hyung were close.”
“We weren’t until we were pregnant at the same time. But I guess we are now.” Hyunjin nodded in understanding. “Are you excited at least?”
“I am. There’s a little pup in here.” Hyunjin’s voice turned into something giddy as he pressed his hands to his belly. “It’s so strange. There’s life growing in my belly. I’m creating a whole person.”
“It feels crazy, right?” The corners of Felix’s eyes crinkled with his smile. “Just wait till you feel them kick.”
“I just can’t wait to meet them. Find out what kind of person they’re going to be.”
“Well, I like to think we’re doing pretty good with Jinae and Minseo so far.” Felix pulled Hyunjin into a hug. “If they’re coming from you, they’re going to be amazing.”
“Did you think a decade ago we’d make it to where we are now?” Hyunjin melted into Felix’s arms, his omega purring. “Our own company? Two pups and another on the way?”
“Never in my wildest dreams did I think we’d get to have all of this. But I couldn’t be happier that we do.”
“Do you think everyone’s happy?” Hyunjin suddenly felt nerves twist in his gut. His emotions were a hair pin recently, from happy to sad to angry at the drop of a hat.
“Is this about Jisung again?”
“Not just Jisung. The… the company. We had all these amazing plans for a new debut. We were supposed to debut after the pups birthdays. But this one will only be two months, I can’t be away from them that soon. And… and…”
“Hey hey hey.” Felix held Hyunjin’s face in his hands, forcing him to meet his eyes. “It’s all going to be fine. Chan is already figuring it out. We’ll get plenty of time with our newest baby and still be able to follow through with the company.”
“I don’t know why I’m so worried, but I can’t stop it. It’s like everything that can go wrong is playing through my head over and over again.” Hyunjin dropped his head down on Felix’s shoulder, shrinking in on himself to do so. “Is it because of the pregnancy? Am I just anxious? I can’t figure out what’s wrong with me.”
“We’ll figure it out. It’s gonna be alright.” Felix scratched at the back of his head. “It’s alright. We can blame the hormones.” That earned a wet chuckle from Hyunjin. “They can make us do stupid things.”
“You got the fun horny hormones. Why do I get this?” Felix laughed.
“Did you forget I cried almost constantly too? And the first eight weeks where I could barely keep anything down?”
“I think constantly puking would be better than this.”
“The grass is always greener.” Felix shifted from foot to foot, as if he were rocking Hyunjin. “We’ll find out what’s got that wolf of yours so out of sorts.”
“I think it might have something to do with Woojin.” Felix paused. “It started to get worse after I went to see him.”
“What are you suggesting?”
“I don’t know. But I think I need to find out.” Hyunjin pulled away from Felix far enough to look in his eyes. “I’ve been frazzled and feeling so strange since that meeting. I need to know why.”
“Okay.” Felix cupped his cheek. “We’ll figure it out.”
…
Jeongin groaned as he finished the last set of reps with the weight, the heavy metal hitting the floor with a thunk as he unceremoniously dropped it and laid down on the bench to catch his breath. He’d decided to join Chan and Changbin at the gym to help clear his head.
It wasn’t working like he’d hoped.
“Innie-ya!” Changbin’s teasing voice hit his ears. “Don’t leave your weights on the floor.”
“Shut upppp.” Jeongin threw a hand over his eyes.
“Aw, what’s bothering you?” Changbin moved to sit at the top of the bench by Jeongin’s head. “Is our baby having problems?”
“You’re so annoying.”
“What’s wrong, Innie?” He felt Chan’s presence beside him. Jeongin sighed, leaving the arm over his eyes so he didn’t have to look at the older alphas.
“Did you guys feel fucking terrified when you found out you sired pups?”
“Ah, I see.” Chan groaned as he sat on the empty bench beside them. “You’re freaking out.”
“Gee. How could you tell?”
“Why are you freaking out though?” Changbin asked, the teasing gone from his voice. “You’re an amazing Appa to Jinae and Minseo.”
“But it’s different.” Jeongin forced himself to sit up, his abs burning from his workout. “Don’t you feel differently between the pup you sired and the pup you didn’t? Not that you don’t love one more than the other. But like…” Jeongin was struggling to verbalize what he meant.
“But the responsibility feels different.” Chan filled in for him. “Yeah, I get that.”
“I mean, yeah.” Changbin agreed. “My wolf recognizes Minseo differently than Jinae. I love them both more than anything in the world, and I could never look at either of them differently because of that fact. But you can’t deny the bond is different.”
“I was scared when Felix was pregnant with Jinae. I was less scared, but still scared, when Minho was pregnant with Minseo. But now that Hyunjin is pregnant with my pup, I’m freaking the fuck out.”
“You’re going to be great, Jeongin.” Chan put a hand on his knee. “It feels like a lot more responsibility, but the way you are with our two babies now should be proof enough that you can handle this.”
“Thanks. I needed that.” Jeongin didn’t mention the other fear niggling at the back of his mind. The one that flashed memories of Jisung, sobbing in a hospital bed.
Jeongin didn’t think he’d ever be able to wipe away the sound of his broken wails as he was told he’d lost their pup. Or the image of the mourning that lived in his eyes. Still there sometimes. Jeongin had seen it when he looked at Hyunjin. He wanted to take Jisung’s pain. Hide it away from him so that it couldn’t hurt him anymore.
He didn’t know what to do.