Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

So, she admittedly had no idea why she was doing this. Nor why she was going through with the plan in the first place. A skeleton monster, taller than her by like…. 9 inches or something sat across from her. His hands hidden inside the pockets of his blue jacket. His face was set on a lazy grin, his overall demeanor laid back but something about him made Tanya think that he mildly disliked her for reasons she couldn’t fathom.

She sat on the worn leather couch, her hands placed neatly on her lap, posture straight, shoulders NOT rounded. She swore that she’d been on her best behavior throughout the whole interview. Anna had told her that Sans— or was his name Blue?— was a pretty nice guy. But maybe that was just because Sans happened to be one of Anna’s boyfriends.

Tanya smiled subconsciously, oh her sweet Anna had gotten like 10 rich men— monsters— all wrapped around her little finger. She was so proud!

“Anyways, Anna likes you and a friend of hers is a friend of mine.” Sans smile grew by an inch as he winked his other eye at her. “When do you think you could move in?”

Faint shouting from upstairs made Tanya pause for a second before replying. “If it’s alright with you I’d like to move in by Friday.”

“Whens that again?”

“It’s like… three days from now I’m pretty sure.”

“Got yourself a deal then. See ya.”

Then Sans blipped away from existence. Like, quite literally just vanished away what the hell? Didn’t even bother showing her out of the house that was quite rude! Tanya yelps when she feels hands on her shoulders and she turns around in surprise.

“How was the interview?” Smiled Anna.

“He was very rude! Like, what the hell?”

Anna tilted her head at Tanya confused. (Although, Tanya swore there was something to the way she looked at her) “Are you sure? Maybe you just imagined it.”

Tanya groaned. “No! There was something there I promi—.”

“Tanya! Just because a guy doesn’t happen to be falling over himself just to talk to you doesn’t mean that he’s rude.”

Wow. That was… okay Tanya would’ve just taken that joke and ran with it but there was a hint of bitterness bleeding into Anna’s tone that made Tanya pause. Oh, it was probably because Sans is her boyfriend of course Anna would be protective!

“Anyways! Me and the boys have been playing Mario Kart for a while and”— Anna held her hand out for Tanya to take—“well, I’m not sure if you even play games. But feel free to join us once you move in!”

Tanya giggled as they both walked to the front door. “Well”—she drawled out as she smiled cheekily — “I’m like, so not good at games but I’d love to join you guys!”

Anna smiled at Tanya. “Great!”

The door was then shut.

‘What a day!’ Tanya thought as she drove out of the skeleton’s gigantic mansion driveway with her pretty pink corvette.

She didn’t really expect herself to be moving in with an old friend of hers but what was life without uncertainty and surprises? If her ex hadn’t decided to sell all his possessions — including the apartment they lived in to take a spiritual break in the Himalayan mountains she wouldn’t even be here in the first place! Reunited with her old friend!

It was admittedly odd. Everything about that mansion was odd. She knew that Anna dated about 10 or 11 guys (not that she was judging) but she surprisingly didn’t catch a glimpse of anyone else other than Sans.

Sans. It was strange for Sans to so convincingly act like he felt relaxed regarding her move in.

He knew he could just say no right? Did he feel pressured to accept her? Oooh! Was Anna possibly begging him to let Tanya stay? Oh Tanya’s heart! That’s just adorable!

Tanya smiled to herself feeling quite pleased. Whatever the case, she’d make the most out of her short stay.

Chapter Text

Tanya hummed to herself as she carried over five shopping bags of clothing. What? She needed new clothing! New house means new wardrobe helloooo? As long as she wasn’t any of those girlies who threw out their old clothes instead of donating it!

She gasped as she spotted a rather cute silver game controller brooch! On a 50% sale! Anna would love this she’d just have to get it—

“Tanya?”

Tanya whipped around, startled, “Oh! Anna!” She smiled delightedly as she hugged Anna. She noticed how Anna had two other skeleton monsters with her. Her boyfriends perhaps?

As Tanya let go of the hug she looked up at them in greeting, “This must be your boyfriend?…” she said unsure. He looked mildly annoyed (and also intimidating but Tanya’s not letting a man— monster whatever intimidate her nuh uh!)

Anna nodded, “Yeah” She grabbed his arm waiting for him to introduce himself.

When he only chose to glare at Tanya. Anna then looked up at the Skeleton Man who lowered his head so Anna could whisper in his… non-existent ear. It sounded like she was faintly scolding him.

He coughed, “Oh— Right. Good Afternoon Human. Pardon Me For My Poor Manners I Am Edge.”

Ooookaay! That’s certainly a name! Sure why the hell not! She wasn’t gonna judge. It perfectly fit him to be fair. Maybe monsters had a thing where they could sense an energy as to how their kids would grow up?

Tanya giggled, “That’s so fun! Hi Edge. I’m Tanyaa~ nice to meet chu! You guys look soooooo cute together! Good to know that I’ll be future roommates with you!”

“I Would Rather Prefer Not Being Roommates With You. But Seeing That Anna Likes You For Whatever Reason Then I Will Tolerate It.”

Awwww, was he a tsundere? Or did he just genuinely not like her? Tanya doesn’t know and will now just assume that he’s a tsundere.

She laughed more as Anna lightly slapped Edge’s arm and lightly scolded him. They already acted like a married couple! “Noooo, don’t scold him Anna he’s clearly just a tsundereeee. Only has eyes for you I seeee. Anyways! Watcha doing here? I know that you like, sooooo hate malls and shopping malls in general.”

Anna smiled, “Yeah! I do. But Edge here is insisting on buying a treat for me.”

“You know what? Edge maybe you’d want to buy Anna this controller whatever brooch! It’s like, made of diamonds and stuff.” Said Tanya as she showed him the display that she had just been eyeing a minute ago.

“God no! I don’t— I’m not the biggest fan of all that girly shit you know?“ Anna then made a show of crinkling her face in disgust as she looked over Tanya’s shopping bags, “…No thanks!”

Tanya giggled, “God! You’re such a tomboy.“

Tanya could hear Edge’s neck snapping as he turned to glare at her, “Is That a Problem?”

Awww, how cute! Sooo protective.

Tanya held her hands up in surrender and smirked at Edge, “Noopeee! No sirrr. Anyways, you should turn that frown upside down! No use in being so agressive with me sir I prooomisee I won’t steal your girlfriend away!”

Suddenly her phone rang. Shoot! She forgot about the guy her friends had set her up with!

“Oops! Well! Time for me to go! Have fun you two!” Said Tanya as she sped walk to the mall's parking lot. As fast as she could with her high heels at least.

——————————-

“You Were Right About Her Being Obnoxious.” Commented Edge as both he and Anna watched as Tanya walked away.

Anna winced, “Yeah, she’s— she’s a character alright.”

Edge groaned, “I Still Don’t Understand Why You Want Her To Stay With Us So Badly If The Things You’ve Said About Her Are True”

Anna frowned and bit the tip of her thumb as they both started to walk towards the food court, “It’s just that she needed a place to stay in.”

“Isn’t She Rich?! She’ll Should Be Able To Afford Other Options Out There”

She then looked up at Edge and sighed, “It’s not like she’s staying with us for a long time.”

“And Here I Thought You Humans Viewed Time Differently Than Us Monsters. 6 Months Truly Doesn’t Feel Too Long, But She May As Well Make It Feel That Way. I Feel As If She’d Get Tormented By Everyone Else.” Said Edge as he grinned .

“It’s what she deserves after our time at the sorority.” Mumbled Anna.

“Sorry?”

“Nothing! Anyways look, they have burgers available there!”

”Oh For The Last Time Burgers Are a Stain Upon This Earth—“

Chapter Text

Ugh! What was it with rich men who thought they could buy their way into Tanya’s heart? The nerve!

Turns out, the guy she had a date with was another one of those rich good looking men whose personalities consist of owning boring expensive watches and yachts.

The guy had the nerve to ask her if she could be a yacht girl.

Tanya didn’t like cursing but FUCK that!

She grumbled into her pillow annoyed. One day she’d find a decent rich man! Just you wait!

She stood up from her bed to stare down at the city beneath her. She’d been camping out at some luxury hotel for a few weeks. She was a lucky girl because her dad had decided to pay for the expenses!

Technically, Tanya could just move into Anna's mansion now and spare her father the few expenses but it only now settled in that she’d have to live with ten other strangers.

So maybe she was impulsive! Maybe she was a bit excited at the thought of being with Anna again! And maybe she was regretting this decision a tiiiiiny bit. Realistically she could’ve just bought another house or rented whatever apartment space she could find. But, she didn’t! But she’s already signed the papers and Tanya did not like going back on her word anyway.

It’s been yeaaars, since Anna last talked to her. Which, admittedly, made Tanya a bit bummed out. She thought that they had a special connection! But after graduation Anna kind of disappeared.

It was probably just Anna being the social recluse that she was. It was a wonder how she managed to tolerate that amount of people in her house!

UGH, it was so boring! Most of her friends were too busy to hang out, and Tanya’s mother was out of the country (somewhere in Europe) and her father was all the way in Japan! So she couldn’t bother them either. That left her older brothers, Jason and Steven. But Steven had gifted her her pink corvette so she’d lay off from being annoying (for now) and Jason had a pregnant wife to take care of!

On second thought, maybe being surrounded by obnoxious rich men would’ve been more entertaining than this.

Unlessssssss…. She gives the mansion a visit! It wouldn’t hurt wouldn’t it? She was already going to live in the place either way! May as well get a proper feel as to how it would be to stay in the place.

She hurried to grab her phone atop her bed and quickly dialed Anna’s number.

“Hello?”

“Anna!”

“Oh hi Tanya!”

“I’m gonna go give the mansion a visit is that okaaaay?”

Tanya heard faint shouting in the background and it weirdly sounded like Edge if his voice was just a tiiiiiny bit more pitched.

“Oh! Yeah sure sure. The place isn’t as clean as it was when you got here though.”

“No problemoooo. I’ll be on my way!”

——————————————-

“You… weren’t kidding when you said the place was messy!” Said Tanya, looking at the overall chaos of her surroundings. There were for some reason a number of cracked pots and pans on the floor, a laundry basket fallen in the corner with its clothes spilling out. To her right the TV that she was sure was still pristine and clean the last time she saw it had a gigantic crack on the screen.

She doubts anyone has noticed her so far. Everyone else was too busy yelling at each other. Was this a normal occurrence?

Tanya looks over to Anna who looks as calm as ever as she gave Tanya a bashful smile, “Yeah, uhm… something happened last night so it’s got everyone a bit nervous”

“BY STARS! HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO REPEAT TO NOT MESS WITH THE THING ANYMORE?” Tanya recognized the voice from earlier from her call with Anna. His voice seemed to carry so far into the house.

“Diiid I come in a bad time?” Asked Tanya. Anna smiled, “No, this is a normal occurrence! I promise you it’s not as bad as it seems.”

“Alrrriiighttt, I’ll take your word for it. Hey, why don’t you show me your room? I couldn’t see it last time.”

“Sure! Although, it’s not exactly that pretty. Not everyone can live off of daddy’s money.”

Tanya giggled, “True! I sure am lucky.”

For whatever reason a look of annoyance crossed Anna’s features but was immediately schooled into a friendlier expression.

As they walked, Tanya couldn’t help but be amused by how… odd the house was in general. It was actually pretty big! And this was coming from Tanya. Some parts of the house would be nice and spotless whilst in other parts she’d see papers draped haphazardly on tables and what seemed to be blueprints! Someone must be an engineer of sorts.

“Oi Anna. Where the fuck you’ve been? Been lookin everywhere—“ A skeleton wearing a black jacket with red accents suddenly peeked out of a doorway.

“Oh! Hi Red! Maybe you’d find me quicker if you weren’t avoiding the fight downstairs.” Quipped Anna.

Tanya stood next to her smiling, “Hi! My name’s Tanya! We’ll be roommates soon, nice to meet you!” She greeted as she held her hand out for Red to shake

Red raised an eyebrow— whatever the skeleton equivalent is at her hand and scoffed, “Fucking hell. You really do look like a bimbo.” He commented mildly.

Oh!

“Oh!”

Okay!

So!

Okay!

You know what? Screw him! She’d take that title with pride, “Thank you! Men usually go crazy over the fact.” She purred.

“I’m sure they do.” Red said snidely.

Tanya squinted her eyes at Red and crossed her arms, “Anna, I’m sorry but your boyfriend here doesn’t seem to like me that much doesn’t he.”

Anna laughed, “Oh, Red’s just like that with new people.”

“And What Is Happening Here?” A smooth deep voice suddenly interrupted.

Tanya looked back to see another skeleton with the same height as Red. Anna and Red tensed.

“None of yer business.” Said Red gruffly. The new skeleton tilted his head subtly, his smile never wavering.

Tanya held out her hand, “I’m Tanya! Nice to meet you. I’m gonna be moving in here tomorrow. Although you probably already know that.”

Wine’s grin widened by a fraction, “No, I Didn’t. In Fact, I Too Just Moved In.”

“Really? I— I didn’t know someone else was also like, moving in too. Is—is he one of your boyfriends or?…” Said Tanya as she looked at Anna confused.

Wine interrupted before Anna could reply, “No. I’m Not One Of Her ‘Boyfriends’ Stars Knows How… Unique They Are. ”

Red scoffed, “Yer not slick you cunt. What the fuck are you even doing here? Sans is supposed to give you the basic ru—“

“I Am Not Stupid. I Am Aware Of What Rules I Have To Grudgingly Obey.”

Okaaaaaaaaay. This was weird right? This was weird! She certainly had very unique housemates. But she wasn’t about to complain! Weird makes life more interesting after all, right? Life is all about perspective and maybe it’s time for Tanya to embrace change—

“You know what! This— yeah no this seems to be a bad time to visit Tanya.” Said Anna as she then dragged Tanya by the hand downstairs heading for the front door.

“But I’ve only been here for like ten minutes!” Whined Tanya.

“You’ll be moving in here tomorrow! See you by then!”

Then the door was shut.

Dammit! It was still 12 in the afternoon and now Tanya has nothing left to do…

…Other than getting matcha and shopping for jewelry!

Chapter Text

Wow! It’s been a horrible day so far. Genuinely, the worst! First off, Tanya forgot to tip the hotel staff (George, I’m so sorry you were the best bell man a girl could ever have!) she had already prepared the money to tip them but her spilling matcha all over her WHITE cashmere sweater distracted her from giving the money! And she was already on the verge of being late at officially moving in… (god forbid a girl likes taking time in getting ready)

So here she was, irritated as hell trying her best to not burst out crying because Katya, the woman who ran the registry at the hotel recently had a baby and if she may repeat, she completely forgot to tip! God! How awful! Maybe she’d go back to the hotel in order to give the staff their money. Hopefully that wouldn’t seem show-offy to them…

Her luggage was a mess as well from her trying to dig out a cleaner top…ugh.

But it’s whatever..! New place, new beginnings! She won’t let this get to her. Negativity is horrible for ones psyche afterall.

She breathed a sigh of relief as the taxi pulled over the parking lot of the mansion. Finally…she can lay down and relax.

—————————

“I can’t believe you’re relying on the guys to take your luggage to your room…surely you can’t be that weak.” Said Anna as she frowned at Tanya.

Tanya simply smiled, “I can’t for the life of me carry it! Teehee!” In all seriousness, who did Anna think carried all her luggage from the parking lot to the mansion? God knows how far the distance was! As her mother once said, if there’s a man around, make him do it!

Anna rolled her eyes, “You’re so spoiled”

“That I aaam!” Replied Tanya as she pretended to curtsy.

“HELLO, NEW HOUSEMATE! WE’VE FINISHED PLACING ALL YOUR LUGGAGE IN YOUR ROOM! I’VE REALIZED I’VE NEVER INTRODUCED MYSELF! I AM THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE!”

Tanya flinched, the volume of his voice! Surely Anna informed them already that she had very sensitive ears right?

Right?

…Yeah! She definitely has!

“O—Oh! Thank you Blue! But could you lower down your volume? It’s quite loud!”

Blue seemed to be taken aback by that, and the tall skeleton wearing an orange hoodie behind him (whom Tanya’s just now noticing) glared at her for it.

Oh dear, was she being rude? She’s always had a flaw of being too blunt even if she was well-meaning..

“I’m sorry..?” She cringed at how insincere that sorry was. She doesn’t want to ruin Blue’s spark! He seems to be a lovely sweet guy and she loves bubbly people!—

But before Tanya could apologize any further, Blue simply shrugged it off and smiled at her, “No Worries Miss Tanya! That’s Your Name Right?”

“Yup!” Tanya giggled, feeling relieved she then stepped closer to Blue and held his hands, “I have a feeling that the both of us will get along well!“

—————————

“Did you hear what she said to Blue?” Grumbled Stretch as he pulled his hood over his head. Introductions were finally over and now he and Anna can have some nice alone time in her room.

Anna frowned as she gently held his hand, “Yeah… Tanya can be demanding like that.. but please! Be patient with her okay?”

He rolled his eyes, “You’re way too kind for some vapid girl like that.”

Anna laughed, “Oh please.. I really am not!” she couldn’t help but relish at the thought of slowly tearing down Tanya’s spirit in this household. Kind of like what happened during their highschool years. Tanya will know what it’s like to have your spirit torn down bit by bit by everyone around you. Anna will make sure of it.

Chapter Text

How could a mansion be so big?!

No seriously! Tanya’s spent her whole life moving from one big mansion to another and she SWEARS that this mansion just has an infinite amount of hallways and corridors! This amount of space shouldn’t even be possible! The place looks smaller outside! What!

She sighed annoyed. She was going to find this restroom one way or another! With no help needed because her pride is at STAKE.

Who even needs these much rooms? These guys don’t even seem to be the type to host parties! And from what Tanya’s noticed some of them even share the same room together! Makes no freaking sense!

…and speaking of the monsters who shared rooms with each other, Tanya giggled at the memory of the interaction her and Wine recently had.

——————-
Flashback Scene

“You Have Lovely Taste In Fashion Brands Miss Tanya” Said Wine aloud as he surveyed the pile of Marc Jacob jackets atop her bed.

Tanya folded the last of her sweaters and placed them into the uppermost part of her cabinet before turning back to Wine and smiling, “Awww thanks Wine! Yeaah, Marc Jacobs is so so so dear to me! I assume you’re loyal to them as well?”

Wine seemed to hesitate before saying, “Admittedly As Of This Moment I Haven’t Enough Funds In Order To Avail One For Myself. I’ve Been Focused On Providing For My Little Brother”

Tanya squeaked, “You have a little brother?! Does he live here?! Or— or like is he in college orrr?”

“Currently He Is Asleep In Our Room. He Can Be Quite Shy So It’s Taking Him a While To Introduce Himself… I Do Beg Your Pardon For His Manners..”

“Dawwww! No it’s really fine! I like, so totally understand that! He can take his time there’s no pressure from me here. And— regarding your uhm… you not being able to afford one I’d love to buy one for you! My dad is super rich he owns this tech company called Vectors”

Wine’s look on his face twitched. Oh dear, oh dear! Yeah no Wine would be a prideful monster oh geez! What was Tanya thinking! Quickly! Apologize!—

“There Truly Is No Need My Dear Tanya” Said Wine smiling, “And My, What A Coincidence. I Work Under Your Fathers Company”

“Really?! Oh that’s so cool!—“

Suddenly her door slammed open.

“It Is I! The Magnificent Blue!”

Tanya jumped in joy, “Hello Blue! Is the magnificent Blue here to help Wine and I arrange my cabinet?”

Blue faltered, “Err! Well! I Was More Of Here To Check On You Cuz Icho—“

“Blueee and I have a cafe date!” Entered in Anna. She then scoffed, “Honestly Tanya? You need to stop being so reliant on other people. You’re so spoiled!”

“Ha! Says you! Remember those days where I helped you with math homework?” Teased Tanya lightheartedly.

Anna panicked, “Th—That doesn’t count! Wh—Whatever Blue let’s go!” She said as she pulled a confused Blue along with her, shutting the door on her way out.

Wine scoffed, “I Will Not Bother Pretending How You Stomach The Company Of Those Cretins”

“The Company Of Cretins sounds like it’d make for a really fun campy horror book” replied Tanya absentmindedly

“No It Does Not”

“Yess it dooeess”

“Maybe You Are Just As Bad My Dear Tanya”

“I’m the worst of the worst!“

Wine chuckled, “Goodluck On Arranging Your Closet—“ he stood up from her bed, “—As Of Right Now I Will Be Having Matters To Attend to”

Tanya frowned, “Awwww you really have to go? Okaaaayy. Have fun on whatever you’re about to do!”

“I Will” Wine smiled as he exited out her room and closed her door.

End
———————————

Tanya sighed dreamily. Okay, so like, she may or may not have the teeeensiest! Crush on Wine. It’s really just a harmless crush though! Nothing would ever come out of it and it was nothing but a simple hallway crush that’s it! She barely knows him anyways it’s nothing but a surface level crush! Not even a big crush at that!

But the way his voice sounded when he called her “My Dear Tanya”….

AAAAA!!

No, no… she’s so so calm actually! She’s not about to lay down and die from blushing in the hallways of this frustratingly large mansion. God, she has a problem. She has like one interaction with the first man who has a decent set of manners and she behaves like this?! Pull it together Tanya! He’s a man at the end of the day!

Damn it…she was hopeless! She still couldn’t find the restroom! This mansion was hopeless too!

“HELLO!”

“AAAAGH!”

Tanya turned around as she screamed ready to punch! some! sense! Into whoever decided it was a good idea to sneak up on her like this! All her fury dissipated into nothing when her eyes landed on Papyrus.

“Oh! H—Haha! Geez! Don’t scare me like that Papyruss” Said Tanya tucking a strand of hair behind her ear to make it seem like her hand wasn’t about to punch Papyrus’ chest. She smiled embarrased at Papyrus, “O—Oh and also could you like…keep your volume down?”

“Apologies Human! And Why Of Course I Shall Be Keeping The Volume Down! I Am Simply Here To Ask You Human If You Have Seen My Brother? He Is Sans? Same Height As You? Lazy? Blue Hoodie? Horrible Hygiene—“

“Yes, Papyrus I— I know who Sans is” Said Tanya dryly, “and uhm… well I haven’t seen him around either! Super sorry about that”

Papyrus sighed, “He’s Been Acting Strange All Week!—“ a look flashed across his face and he seemed to mutter something underneath his breath.

Something about a basement and a machine but Tanya was too distracted by the sight of how comical Papyrus looked muttering. Where did the intense lighting even come from? Half his face was bathed in shadow it was reminiscent of Rembrandt lighting.

“Well Human! I Must Go! Goodbye!” Papyrus said as he struck a pose. He then…leaped……across…the…hallways..okay..

He kind of resembled a majestic deer?

This household is so strange

Chapter Text

“And this is the cupboard you guys use to store your plates?”

“Yes! Now Human Since You Know The Layout Of Our Kitchen Can We Finally Get To Cooking?” Asked Papyrus, Blue was next to him arranging the households brand new kitchen knife set (Edge and Black had ruined the previous set)

Tanya giggled, “God forbid a girl takes her time. Anyways of course! What’s the recipe that we’re cooking?”

Blue looked up, “It’s A Combination Recipe! Both Me And Papyrus Combined Both Our Signature Dishes Into One Beautiful Taco Spaghetti!”

“A…. Taco spaghetti?” Asked Tanya her eyes squinting in thought, “I mean… I guess it’d work..?“

“BAH! AS IF YOU KNOW SHIT ABOUT COOKING!”

Tanya jumped at the sudden voice, seriously, can these skeletons stop scaring her?! She turned around to face Edge and smiled, “Of course I do Edgy-wedge!”

Wow. That was a horrible, horrible nickname for him, but Tanya wasn’t anything if not dedicated.

She watched as Edge seemed to turn red (is he blushing?!) the other two seemed to suddenly stay silent. They almost seemed nervous?

“Call Me That Again And I Will Throw You Off A Building” He said tersely.

“Are you going redd? Oh my god are you bluuushing?! I didn’t know you were the type to like nicknames does Anna know about this? Oooo! I’m gonna teeelll herrr! Your beautiful girlfriend deserves to know!”

“Guys! Let’s All Get Along! Miss Tanya Means Well Edge” Said Blue, his voice sounding like he’s been peacekeeper of this household for a very, very long time. Papyrus happened to be right behind Edge looking ready for…? Well she doesn’t really know!

“Dawww Bluee! It’s just silly banter, right Edge?”

He squinted his eyes and frowned, “Yes..”

Tanya giggled, “Anyways! You gonna help us with cooking Edge?”

“Are you…flirting with my boyfriend?”

All their heads turned to see Anna standing by the entrance of the kitchen, a look of contempt on her face.

Edge, Papyrus and Blue stared at Tanya incredulously. Taken off guard by Anna’s accusation.

Tanya laughed, “What? No! Edge is like— so not my type!” And anyways it’s not like she wasn’t busy crushing on a certain deep smooth voiced skelly with a love for Marc Jacobs…

Edge then scoffed, “RIGHT! Because Unlike Your Dimwitted Self, Anna’s Ten Times More Intelligent and Well Read Compared To YOU”

“Everyone! Let Us All Calm Down! The Human Is Clearly Just Joking. Anna Dearest There Is No Such Tomfoolery Happening” Papyrus went close to hug Anna who snuggled up to Papyrus.

Tanya stared confused. It was never really that serious on her part, “Anna, girl I really am sorry if it seemed like I was flirting with your man! Or men? Monsters? It was never my intent. Promise!” Said Tanya earnestly.

Anna rolled her eyes (oh! So it must’ve been banter afterall!) “Whatever Tanya. What’re you guys even doing?”

“We’re maaaakinggg spaghetti tacos!” Said Tanya with a flourish. The tension (which she was kind of oblivious to) in the room gone. Blue and Papyrus cheered alongside her and Edge scoffed.

Anna raised an eyebrow, “I thought you’d be too posh for doing shit like that”

“Hm? Me? Spaghetti tacos did sound like a questionable idea at first but I’ve warmed up to it!”

“Whatever, I’m gonna be reading a book in the living room. Don’t even bother asking me what book it is I doubt you’d know” Said Anna as she walked away. Papyrus visibly deflating as Anna simply brushed him off.

“You Are Exactly What Anna Talked About” Edge said ominously before stomping away.

Tanya tilted her head in confusion, “Anna talked about me?” She then gasped, “Anna talks about me?!” She said as she turned to face Papyrus and Blue, both looked mildly uncomfortable as if remembering a vague memory.

“That’s soooo sweeet!” Cooed Tanya, “Tell me, what does she say about me?”

Blue avoided Tanya’s gaze, Papyrus tilted his head and stared at Tanya, “Well Human, What Do You Think?—“

“M—Miss Tanya! I— Let’s Just Not Do the Spaghetti Tacos For Now… I— I Realized I Had Something To Do!” Said Blue, Papyrus’ head whirled around to face Blue looking surprised before glancing back to Tanya, “Uhm! Me Too As Well Human! Goodbye!”

And then Tanya was left in the kitchen feeling confused and spaghetti taco-less

———————-

What was wrong with this girl? There’s something wrong. with. her.

Anna glared at her book.

Too many people in the household were taking a liking to Tanya…Anna was pretty convinced that she had ruined Tanya’s reputation perfectly beforehand but here she goes proving her wrong again.

Dammit…aren’t they supposed to have a good judge of character? Can’t they see how spoiled and rotten Tanya was? That girl probably won’t even be able to name any author out there!

Whatever, Anna’s just going to have to gently remind everyone of how awful of a person Tanya really was, and maybe make up a few stories here and there but it was for the best.

Anna will have her way no matter what.

———————

“TAAAANYAAA!”

This time, Tanya didn’t yelp, or squeak, or scream at the sounds of someone suddenly yelling in the household. She’s blending in!

Tanya quickly put on her pink fluffy slippers, and sped to the living room area.

“Anna? You called?—“

“Tanya how could you!”

“What?”

Tanya stared confused, she felt a bit ridiculous standing by the doorway with her hair full of pink rollers and her face covered by a gel mask, “What’s wrong Anna? What did I do?”

Anna’s eyebrows furrowed together, her mouth set to a frown, “You ruined my book! See?!” She then gestured towards her book that was clearly ruined from being soaked by water

“What? Girl? I literally never touch your books what do you mean?”

“No one else in this household would do this!”

“So it’d be me then?!— sorry girl I don’t mean to yell! But genuinely it like totally isn’t me. You love your books I’d never do that to you! Come on you know me”

“Eh? Whuts happenin here?” Red, followed by Stretch suddenly appeared behind Tanya, the both of them not even giving her a glance as they immediately walked towards Anna.

“Isn’t this the book you really like or something?” Asked Stretch as he gently took it off of Anna’s hand, observing it’s ruined state in confusion.

“Y—Yeah! Tanya was the one who ruined it!—“

“It genuinely wasn’t me Anna! I—I don’t know why you think it’d be me… I love you too much to ever do such a thing to you sweetie—“

“Oi! Why don’t ya shut the fuck up you dumb fucking bitch? Can’t ya see that Anna’s cryin?! We don’t wanna hear yer excuses!”

Tanya gawked as she witnessed little tears escape Anna’s eyes…oh no..no no no! Maybe it really was Tanya who ruined the book?! She does have a habit of being a clutz maybe she— I don’t know managed to spill water on it? Without even knowing? Oh god, she hates seeing Anna cry.

“No! Anna I’m so—“ she moved to get closer to Anna in order to deliver some form of comfort to her friend but Stretch and Red were adamant on the girls holding space with each other.

“Just…just leave me alone guys…” Anna immediately ran outside the living room, leaving Tanya alone with Stretch and Red.

Stretch scoffed at her, “What the hell were you thinking?”

Tanya stuttered, “I—It’s not like I meant to spill water!—“

“Oh so suddenly you DID spill water on her book huh?” Said Red

“I— I mean I must have b—but I don’t even remember ever being near any one of Anna’s books!—“

“So which one is it? First it was, ‘I wasn’t the one who ruined it’ then it’s ‘I didn’t mean to’ and now it’s that you don’t remember?” Stretch glared

“Ya didn’t even bother apologizin to her!”

“Well I was about to—!”

“And you clearly tried so hard didn’t you!” Said Red, his voice laced with sarcasm.

Tanya tried her best to remember a time where she was even remotely in the same vicinity as Anna’s books but couldn’t even think of one single moment! But surely, if Anna seemed to be so sure and had such a strong reaction it must’ve been Tanya’s fault? She felt her lips quiver and did her best to blink back the tears forming in her eyes. Oh god, Tanya should’ve just apologized from the get-go instead of arguing! Ugh what was she thinking!

“I— I need to go” Tanya mumbled before scurrying back to her room as well.

Chapter Text

Tanya sniffled miserably, “A—And then th—the b—both of th—them k—kept talking o—over me a—and I c—couldn’t even e—explain my side of th—the story properly!” She sobbed as she then buried her face in a pillow.

Wine stared, unamused, “My Dear Tanya, I Do Not Mean To Invalidate Your Feelings In This Situation At All Whatsoever. But It’s Very Clear That You’re Having a Slight Overreaction. Anna Loves You Dearly Does She Not?”

Tanya peeked over her pillow at Wine who was currently lounging on the chair placed next to her vanity table. She sniffed (for like, the millionth time) “She does”

Her voice then waned, “But she probably hates my guts now and my friendship with her is ruined and I might as well burry myself in a HOLEEE!” Wine was not surprised at all when Tanya went back to burying her face in her pillow.

“Let Me Continue, Since She Does Value You A Lot As A Friend Does This Not Mean That She’d Be Forgiving Towards You When She Hears Your Side Of The Story? Stretch And Red Were Completely Uncalled For Though, Cornering You Like That”

Tanya scoffed, “What do I care about those guys! Anna’s hurt and it’s because of me… I think… actually! You do have a point. But!—“ Tanya perked up, abruptly sitting up. ”—At the same time, I genuinely don’t think it was me who did it! I think I’d remember very well if I ruined one of Anna’s books!”

She then slouched back, the sight of it reminded Wine of a deflated balloon “I don’t know why she’s so insistent on it being meeee!—“ Wine blinked at the sight of her perking up again “—oh no! See! My insistence on it not being me was what caused this in the first place!—“

“Tanya”

Wine was suddenly on the bed next to her, her squeak cut off as a gloved finger gently covered her lips— AAAAAAAAAAAAA

Tanya did her best to not sputter and blush during this moment but oh my god he was so close to her—

“You Are Running Yourself Into The Ground Overthinking About This” Wine spoke calmly as he pulled his hand away and leaned back. He then scoffed, “The Both Of You Are Grown Women. You Can Easily Settle This With Each Other Since I Assume You And Her Have Emotional Maturity”

Wine was right of course, but Tanya was a bit distracted by what just happened. Who does this monster think he is?! Making her all flustered like this… like—like she’s some high-school girl with a crush!

Tanya shook her head as if doing so would silence her mind, she stopped and smiled awkwardly when Wine stared at her bemused, “I mean!— okay so like, you have a point… but now it’s got me thinking if it isn’t me who did it…then who?! One of her boyfriends must’ve ruined her book!—“ She raised her hand and pointed a finger in the air “—I Tanya will find out!“

“You… You Are Missing The Poi—“

“—Shhhhh! I can’t let one of those RATS! Make Anna cry like that! Someone must’ve lied to her and told her that it was me. I’ll just have to snoop around and find who the main perpetrator is!”

Wine sighed, “Tell Me How It Goes Then”

A smile lit up Tanya’s face, delight shining in her eyes, “Will do!”

Some of her pillows fell as she abruptly stood up from her bed, “But first! I need to buy a nice pink detective outfit…”

———————

Apparently, trying to figure out who spilled water on a book is actually pretty damn hard to figure out. Which was such a shame because the outfit Tanya was sporting was so cute as well.

She walked around the mansion, holding an eyeglass on her left eye whilst a monocle was placed on her right. Her pink coat swished around the carpet floors of the mansion and she bets her hair looked mighty dazzling from behind from the beige golf cap on her head.

She was tempted to also light a cigarette (the thick ones those mafiosos from the movies always used) but Wine promptly stopped her from doing so.

Would it be a good time to mention that Tanya was kind of lost? Maybe some sort of magic was happening within this mansion but she’s gonna stop herself from another tangent on how big this mansion is.

Tanya giggled to herself as she heard Edge yell and complain from downstairs. This house had such silly hijinks! These guys were so funny and amusing…

When they weren’t actively making their girlfriends life MISERABLE! And Tanya’s life too!

As she turned another corner in search of a non-existent clue, she squeaks when she bumps into a large figure.

“Oops!— I’m so sorry for tha—“ She stops.

In front of her was a tall hooded figure, their face completely covered by the hood, behind them was a skeleton with eyes devoid of any light. What caught Tanya’s eye was the bright red target floating in front of his chest.

“…pretty” She muttered.

Pretty Red giggled at her, “HAH! Are you this amazing households new roommate? Thanks for calling me pretty it’s a high compliment from a darling like you” He said as he pushed Hooded Figure back in order to get closer to Tanya.

Tanya raised an eye at him. Wow, you compliment a man once and he acts all cocky. Man or monster they’re all the same!

“Mister! This ‘darling’ appreciates her personal space! So, you stand riiight here” she said as she gently pushed Pretty Red farther from her.

“And also? Aren’t you one of like Anna’s boyfriends? What’re you doing calling other women darling?!” At least she thinks he’s one of Anna’s boyfriends, she can’t really keep track! Nor has she ever seen these two.

Pretty Red snickered, “Geez! So mean… my heart’s quite hurt! It can’t be as pretty if you keep hurting me like this— and Anna? That human? No thanks! But I’d love for you and I—“

“I don’t even know your name” deadpanned Tanya.

“Hm! My name’s Ki—“

“His name’s Ichor. Mine’s Konis.” Said the Hooded Figure apparently named Konis. Stepping near the both of them, he was facing Ichor as he talked, if Tanya could see underneath that hood she’d assume he was glaring at Ichor.

“Quite rude to intrude in a conversation you aren’t even a part of Dusty.” Said Ichor as he sighed, feigning disappointment, “And stop cutting me off! Let a guy finish his sentence am I not right miss…?”

“And whyyy should I give you my name?” Challenged Tanya as she crossed her arms, “I thought there were only ten people who lived here”

“Babygirl they’re scammin you! That’s just a very rough estimate really. Some of us like to come and go anytime we want…wait a minute are you dressing up as a detective?—“

“—Shhhh! Don’t ask mistah. So you guys are just visiting huh? Any chance you’ve been here in the past…three— no.. two? No! One day?”

Ichor snickered, “In the past one day?”

“You get my point!” Grumbled Tanya

He raised his hands in surrender, “Sorry detective! Why I’m just an innocent boy with my innocent friend who only stopped by today… we ain’t bringin no troubles with us”

“You promise?”

“I swear by it! Right Konis?” Ichor nudged Konis (who has also been ominously staring at Tanya for the entirety of the conversation. Not scary at all!), the monster glanced at Ichor before shrugging.

“See missus?”

Tanya pouted her lips, “Hmmm, so, just to be sure! You two haven’t ruined no books in the last day?”

“Zero books miss detective! Why, I don’t even know how ta read!” Replied Ichor.

Tanya deadpanned, “Mkay you’re just lying at this point”

Konis then surprisingly spoke up, “It’s true, Ichor doesn’t know how to read”

“Wait…you’re serious…”

“No?!” The humor in Ichor’s voice was now replaced by incredulity “I was just joking it’s a BIT, a silly joke sweet cheeks”

“Don’t let him fool you”

“Konis what the fuck do you think you’re saying huh”

As Tanya looked back and forth between the two bickering idiots her eyes widened when she spotted a familiar figure approaching from behind…Sans!

“Heya guys, watcha doing?” His voice was filled with ease as he stood right next to Konis. The light banter suddenly vanished and gave way to a heavy tension which Tanya couldn’t pinpoint where it came from.

“Just chatting!” Answered Tanya as Ichor and Konis remained silent, she raised her magnifying glass to her monocle, “Say, Sans! Have you possibly been near any book for the past few days?”

“Nope” Sans popped the p as he said so, “but you have haven’t you”

Was that supposed to be backhanded?

“Well, I haven’t!”

“Hm… that’s not what I heard though”

“We—“

“Hey!” Ichor clapped his hands and turned to face Sans, Konis gave way so his vision wouldn’t be obstructed, “So, me, Konis and this brilliant detective named Tanya were actually having a nice little conversation here. I don’t know who you think you are but could you possibly…walk on by?”

Sans stared blank faced at the two other skeletons, “Tanya” he said whilst maintaining eye contact with Ichor who’s smile turned sharper, “Come with me”

“…See you soon Sans” muttered Konis.

Tanya was then dragged away from Ichor and Konis to her disappointment.

Sans sighed, “I’ll be honest with you. I don’t like you”

What a riveting conversation starter!

“But I want to be civil with you. So, I’m doing this for your own good. But stay away from those two”

“Huh? Why? They’re so fun!—“

“Doesn’t matter. Just stay away from them, they’re only visiting for a private matter. End of story”

He then vanished away.

…Can these skeletons stop leaving her alone?!

Chapter Text

Sans liked his peace and quiet.

And a life filled with the general antics between him, his brother, the kid and their friends may not be what other peoples definition of peace and quiet may be but it was his, and he was happy with it for a time.

Till he started remembering the third brother Papyrus never got to meet. It’s not like his memory of him was completely wiped off of Sans’ mind, he’s always been…there, just a foggy image of a tall skeleton in a lab coat and a machine.

The eldest of them.

Why doesn’t anyone remember him?

Why can’t Sans remember his name?

The ordeal made Sans chuckle really. After enough time passed, enough time for Sans to finally be confident that the kid wouldn’t reset, visions of their eldest would haunt Sans’ dreams… because Sans could never get a break apparently.

Darkly lit laboratories only illuminated by the neon colors of foreign liquids and machinery, the feeling of warmth in a cold environment, learning alongside Him, being guided by Him.

Being scared of Him.

And so here he was, experiencing the consequences of tampering with a machine he should’ve never kept in the first place. Surrounded by several of his alternates (and papyrus’) trying to figure out what to do with the two new…arrivals.

It was bad.

God, it was really bad.

Ichor chuckled, “And here I thought I was fucked. Just look at these two!”

Konis, the ever looming figure who was always hovering behind Ichor stayed silent. Sans could tell though that he was staring at the new (currently unconscious) Papyrus.

Red scoffed ignoring Ichor, “Well? What the fuck are we all waiting for?! Shouldn’t we be moving them to the cabin now!?”

“Aren’t You So Smart?” Said Wine, rolling his eyes, “Have You Considered That Our New Human Roommate Might Just Be A Bit Disconcerted In Seeing Us Carry Two Unconscious Bodies? Especially One’s As Deformed And Malnourished As Theirs?”

“Deformed’s kinda a harsh way of describin em” Commented Stretch, this time it was Wine’s turn to scoff

“Apologies, Their Beautiful Malnourished Bodies Then” He sneered.

Sans ignored Ichor chanting fight in the background and sighed, “Guys, let’s not fight. They’ll probably wake up in a bit, we’ll just have to…contain them if they have any violent reactions” hopefully not, Sans doesn’t want to have to deal with this Papyrus any longer than he should. Neither does he want to be anywhere near this Sans.

Out of all of them he had the closest resemblance to him.

In fact, when the both of them landed through the machine he almost thought that another literal him was what they were dealing with until he got closer and saw his alternates cracked exposed skull and how this Papyrus seemed so gangly and thin.

“We’ll explain everything to them when they wake up, and when Tanya’s asleep we can walk em to the cabin. Shouldn’t take too long”

“Yeah, yer doin that by the way”

Sans sighed a long, long suffering sigh at Red’s comment, “I know”

“Hi guys— I’m here” Said Anna as she gently closed the door.

The air in the room noticeably shifted to become more relieved.

Wine couldn’t resist rolling his eyes a second time.

“Oh my god…” Anna stopped at seeing the two new skeletons laid out on the floor, her palms felt sweaty as she stammered “These poor skeletons!”

Her brows furrowed as she frowned before pausing.

“When can we move them into the cabin? I—I mean I can imagine that being in a household full of people would probably overwhelm them right?”

“‘Nilla’s gonna be movin em when the bimbo’s sleepin” Said Red as he teleported right next to Anna.

“Yeah that’s a smart move… I doubt Tanya would have the best reaction to seeing them”

Stretch grumbled, “She practically told Blue to shut up when he first greeted her. She’d probably scream if she ever saw these two”

“What will we name them?” Asked Anna

Wine raised an eyebrow, “What Are They? Pets?”

Ichor laughed, “Let’s name em after dog names!”

Anna panicked, “I—It’s not l—like that! I mean, would they even have the smarts to think of a name in the first place?”

“They Haven’t Even Woken Up And You’re Already Making Assumptions Regarding Them? How Unsurprisingly Shallow Of You”

“Oh Shut The Fuck Up Wine” Edge glared, “Anna’s Right! These Two Would Behave Like Animals! Just Look At Them!”

“Also, you’re one to talk Wine, didn’t you call em deformed?” Drawled Stretch

“I Was Simply Stating The Facts. That Is Entirely Different From Calling Them Anima—“

“Point is” Sans interjected, “They’ll be living in the cabin with Ichor and Konis. Is that understood?”

“Woo! New roommates! Isn’t that fun Konis? Especially after the two others decided to move out” Ichor smiled at Wine who in turn scoffed at him.

“Aight, I’m out” Said Stretch before winking at Anna then disappearing from his spot. The rest soon followed.