Work Text:
Now that he has one, Buck has realized that he’s never had a best friend before. Not until Eddie.
It took them a while to get to that point. Whether that was because Buck was such a dick to him that first shift is neither here nor there. Buck was able to realize how amazing Eddie was the moment he saw him talk about Chris, but even so, getting to the point where you feel like you could talk to someone about anything without judgement still takes a bit of time.
Sure, Buck has had friends. He’s had many friends. No one has come close to Eddie.
He felt the shift after the ladder truck crushed his leg and Eddie was showing up often enough that Buck made him go out and make a copy of his loft key. Or maybe it was during, when one of the only things he would be able to remember from that night was Eddie’s hand in his, grounding him.
All Buck really knows now as he rots away in his bed, itchy cast and all, is that Eddie is his best friend. Because he’s Buck, naturally, he gets a little weird about the whole thing. But who can blame him really? He’s never done this before.
Tuesday 1:27 PM
Buck (Work): come over
Eddie Diaz: Can’t, I’m busy.
Buck (Work): do you hate me
Eddie Diaz: No
Buck (Work): why do you hate me
Buck (Work): why do youh ate me
Eddie Diaz: I don’t hate you
Buck (Work): whatever
Eddie Diaz: I’ll come over after.
Buck (Work): yay :)
Buck chuckles to himself, turning off his phone and throwing it down next to him on the bed. Some of his favorite pastimes lately have been wikipedia deep dives, watching shitty medical dramas, and bothering anyone who will answer him. Usually Eddie.
He loves being around Eddie. Eddie doesn’t feel like pressure. Like he has to pretend to be okay. He doesn’t treat Buck like a sick child, he treats him like an injured adult, and it helps Buck feel a little semblance of dignity.
With Eddie, he can be stupid and weird and send him texts like a crazy possessive girlfriend because he thinks it’s funny, but he can also help with Christopher and give Eddie advice that he truly listens to and appreciates, he doesn’t have to just be one kind of person. Eddie lets him be whatever he wants to be.
So he sits at home, by himself, unable to do much of anything other than texting and texting Eddie.
Friday 4:30 PM
Buck (Work): wyd
Eddie Diaz: With a friend, why?
Buck (Work): who is she
Buck (Work): are you cheating on me???
Buck (Work): i can’t believe this…
Eddie Diaz: Yes I am cheating on you.
Buck (Work): wtf
Buck (Work): ok have fun
About two hours later, after Buck finally drags himself to his second favorite location, the couch, Eddie lets himself through the door with a soft smile and a bag of takeout.
“Hey,” Buck greets him, craning his neck to see him past the stairs, “Whatcha got there?”
“Hi,” Eddie replies as he makes his way towards Buck, “Figured you hadn’t eaten yet and I wanted to come over. How you feeling?”
Eddie drops the takeout bag onto the coffee table, sitting down next to it and immediately lifting Buck’s leg onto the table as well with a gentle touch. Buck playfully rolls his eyes.
“Oh, you know, same old same old,” He makes a vague gesture around himself, “Really living it up here, as you can probably tell.”
“Oh, I bet.”
Eddie grins at him and stands back up. He brings the food over to the kitchen table and starts spreading it out, humming to himself. When he looks closer, Buck’s chest fills with warmth as he realizes it’s from his favorite place nearby.
“Alright,” Eddie says mostly to himself. He finds Buck’s crutches and brings them over to him with a, “Here you go, sir.” Then he helps him off the couch and makes sure he gets himself upright, but leaves Buck to his own devices as he walks back over to the table.
Buck doesn’t move to fill up his plate when he sits down, just stares at everything in front of him and thinks he knows me . Sue him, the pain has been making him sentimental.
“Everything okay?” Eddie questions, frowning at him from across the table.
“I love this place,” Buck responds quietly. The pain has also been making him honest.
“I know,” Eddie says with certainty, then pushes a box closer to Buck with his fork.
As Eddie starts to dig in, Buck just stares at him for a moment and smirks, “So, who’s the new best friend?”
Eddie huffs out a laugh and rolls his eyes, “Oh my God.”
“I just wanna know who you’re replacing me with, that’s all.”
“I was just catching up with a guy who was in the academy with me,” Eddie replies.
“Oh I see,” Buck teases, “So you like him better than me?”
“No.”
“You hate me and you like him better.”
“You know what, actually I meant to show up unannounced to his place with food out of the goodness of my heart, so I should probably get going,” He stands up and takes the box out from under Buck’s fork.
“No, wait,” Buck reaches out and makes grabby hands for the box. Eddie hands it back over, grinning.
“No one’s replacing you, Buck,” He murmurs as he sits down again. He knows it, Eddie knows he knows it. Buck can’t help but notice that he shifts slightly closer. “Wasn’t even that fun anyways.”
Buck just smirks.
Tuesday 12:45 PM
Buck (Work): do you wanna hang out later
Eddie!!: I already have plans, sorry.
Buck (Work): :(
Buck (Work): mean
Eddie!!: No don’t
Buck (Work): you want me to suffer
Buck (Work): you literally want me dead
Buck (Work): i can’t believe this
Eddie!!: Wrong
Buck (Work): okay :)
He stops texting Eddie like that for a while. At first it was because of the whole getting caught up in a tsunami while also being on blood thinners and being in charge of watching Christopher thing. After that, Eddie didn’t really give him the opportunity to playfully guilt him for not hanging out with him when he asked. He would just immediately say yes.
Then he sued the department and they didn’t text at all. Buck supposes it’s easier to forgive someone when you don’t care about them so much. At least that's what he tells himself.
Thursday 9:47 AM
Eddie: BBPU today at 4 if you’re up for it.
Buck (Work): i gotta pass, but thank you
Despite his response, Buck smiles. After so many months, it finally feels like everything is back to normal. He still feels like an idiot, but he’s happy to have his best friend back. He’s never felt more alone than he did in the time he spent without being able to talk to Eddie. Eddie never let him go a day without speaking to him in some way, even just a text. It felt like a piece of him had been missing.
Then Eddie got buried alive and Buck was around too much and felt too awful about everything to make him feel bad over text. Even if it is just a joke.
But eventually, life goes on, and so does Evan Buckley’s strange behavior. As is the never ending cycle.
Sunday 10:14 AM
Buck (Work): can we do something today
Eddie!!!: Later? Chris needs help with a project.
Buck (Work): i can help
Eddie!!!: You’ll just end up doing it for him.
Buck (Work): nuh uh
Eddie!!!: Uh huh.
Eddie!!!: I’ll let you know when he’s done?
Buck (Work): it’s like you don’t even want me around anymore
Buck (Work): i’ll just go hang out with my other friends
Eddie!!!: What other friends?
Buck (Work): rude
Buck (Work): but true
Sunday 3:38 PM
Eddie!!!: Done now, wanna come check his work?
Buck (Work): oh thank god
“Eddie’s texting you,” Maddie says, watching her brother’s phone light up on the kitchen counter. As much as he absolutely loves and is obsessed with his new niece, Buck is glad to give Maddie a night with just adults once in a while. Even if he barely skirts the line of adult .
He holds up his hands, messy from cooking, “Can you check it for me?”
Maddie reaches for his phone, unlocking it with the same password he’s had since he first got a phone, and looks through his messages.
“He just said you can come over whenever you want tomorrow– Buck what is this?”
He freezes, any number of things that she could have seen run through his mind, but he’s sure he deleted everything from his Buck 1.0 days, and he has no idea what it could be.
“What is what?” He stares at her, but a smile grows on her face so it can’t be anything too bad. Unless it’s because it’s embarrassing for him. No yeah, that’s absolutely what it is. No other reason why his sister would give him that face.
“Sorry, Chris and I promised to spend the day with my Abuela, what about Saturday,” She starts to read. Buck’s face gets hot. “Oh em gee, do you even love me? Why do you hate me? I don’t hate you. You hate me so much. Buck .”
He busies himself with stirring the sauce pan. “What?”
“What do you mean, what? Why in the world are you texting Eddie like a toxic girlfriend?” He watches Maddie start scrolling through their chat. “Wait, you guys aren’t actually…”
Buck wipes his hands and snatches his phone from her. “ No .” It’s not that anything they text about is particularly private, but something inside of him just wants to keep it as theirs . He can’t help but notice she looks a little disappointed.
“I hope that’s not how you talk to everyone,” She teases.
“ Okay .” He rolls his eyes at her. “It’s just something I started doing with Eddie as a joke. He thinks it’s funny too. It’s not a big deal.”
“You mean there’s not a small part of you that actually feels that way when Eddie hangs out with other people?” She gives him a knowing look.
He considers it, he really does. He values what his sister thinks. So he answers honestly, “No, not really.”
He doesn’t feel like that when Eddie’s with other people because he knows at the end of the day Eddie is always coming back to him. He’s breaking into Buck’s loft unannounced or asking Buck over to his house. He’s taking him out on hikes or school shopping for Chris. Why would Buck ever actually feel the need to be jealous?
“So it’s really only to be funny?”
“Yeah.”
“You guys are strange,” She shakes her head at him. Buck just shrugs and goes back to cooking.
Tuesday 11:58 PM
Buck (Work): i’m bored
Eddie (bff): Go to sleep???
Buck (Work): don’t want to
Eddie (bff): I’m going to sleep.
Eddie (bff): Goodnight Buck.
Buck (Work): you’re so cruel
Buck (Work): you hate my whimsy
Wednesday 4:23 AM
Buck (Work): wake up
Wednesday 6:00 AM
Buck (Work): are you awake now
Eddie (bff): Jesus.
Eddie (bff): Did you ever sleep?
Buck (Work): if you love me you won’t make me answer that question
To be fair, Buck was trying to fall asleep. He still is, in fact. Something poking at the back of his mind just wouldn’t let him shut it off for long enough to close his eyes.
Eddie doesn’t say anything else, and Buck doesn’t really have the energy to keep messing with him, so he just keeps staring at the ceiling, memorizing the texture, blankets pulled up to his chin.
He stays there for who knows how long until he hears a key turning in the door.
Buck sits up in his bed, confused, as he hears Eddie come up the stairs.
“Nuh uh, lay back down,” Eddie grumbles. Buck doesn’t know what the hell is going on, but Eddie’s pout is scathing, so he listens.
“What are you doing here?”
“We’re sleeping,” Eddie explains, tossing his phone and keys onto the bedside table. He kneels onto the bed and gives Buck a push. He immediately rolls to give Eddie room, who gets himself under the covers and flops down onto his stomach, face in a pillow.
“Where’s Chris?” Buck is still not catching up to what is going on.
“School. Carla. Go to sleep, Buck,” Eddie shoves the covers up over Buck’s head.
“I can’t,” He whines, muffled underneath the fabric, “My brain is telling me something’s wrong and I can’t figure out what it is.”
He feels Eddie sit up and pull the covers down to just under Buck’s eyes.
“Everything’s fine,” Eddie says gently, “Everyone was just talking in the group chat about what they’re bringing to Bobby and Athena’s on Saturday. Nothing’s wrong.”
“Are you sure?” Buck whispers.
“Pretty sure,” Eddie lays back down, facing Buck. He rubs a hand along Buck’s arm in a soothing gesture. Then he leaves his hand on his bicep. “Try to get some sleep.”
With the weight of Eddie’s hand resting on him, the warmth of his body under the covers, and his confirmation that, at least in this moment, everything is okay, Buck finally drifts off.
He sleeps until the middle of the afternoon, and Eddie stays with him the entire time.
Unfortunately, as it turns out, maybe his brain was trying to warn him of something. Because soon after leads to the worst few months of Buck’s existence.
Monday 1:29 PM
Evan Buckley: Maddie, where are you?
Evan Buckley: Please just let me know that you’re okay.
Monday 5:06 PM
Buck (Work): want to come to ikea with me tomorrow
Buck (Work): craving meatball
Eds: I have work tomorrow.
Buck (Work): oh
Buck (Work): right
Eds: Sorry, Buck.
Eds: I’m off on Thursday.
Buck (Work): i am not
Buck (Work): i hate this
Buck (Work): the world is so cruel and evil and it doesn’t want us to be hap py
Eds (my meatball :( ): I’m sorry.
Buck (Work): no it’s not your fault
Buck (Work): sorry i’m just being stupid
Eds (my meatball :( ): You’re not being stupid.
Eds (my meatball :( ): I miss you.
Buck (Work): i miss you so ba d it;s disrespectful
Buck (Work): sorry i’ll stop
Eds (my meatball :( ): No please don’t stop
Buck (Work): okay
Buck (Work): if you don’t come to ikea and get meatballs with me we won’t be friends anymore
Eds (my meatball :( ): Saturday?
Buck (Work): perf
“So do you actually need anything from here, or did you just want meatballs?” Eddie asks as they walk into the Ikea Saturday afternoon.
“Oh, just meatballs,” Buck responds, grinning at Eddie, “But you have to earn them.”
Eddie raises his eyebrows, looking at Buck with wide eyes. Buck just smiles wider and skips ahead of him.
“What does that mean ?” Eddie calls after him, “ Buck?”
They end up in one of the kitchen showcases, tucked a little more out of the way than the others. Eddie waits patiently as Buck examines every cabinet and utensil, but eventually wanders off for a moment to look at something else nearby. When he returns, Buck puts on his best disappointed face.
“Where have you been all night?”
“What?” Eddie stops in his tracks.
“You were with her , weren’t you?” Buck points a spatula at him.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Eddie replies slowly, a smile creeping onto his face.
“The kids never even see you anymore,” Buck cries, “You know what they asked me? They asked if dad was ever coming home. I said no, probably not. They don’t even remember your face!”
“Oh yeah?” Eddie grins, “Do you think I don’t know what you do when I’m gone? How’s the gardener?”
Buck gasps and clutches at his chest. He lets a giggle slip out as someone walks past them, clearly concerned.
“At least he tells me he loves me!”
“I-” Eddie clearly tries to think of a response, but he just bursts out laughing. Buck tries to stay in character, but it only works for a second before he breaks too. Then they’re both doubled over, laughing more as they look at each other, or when another customer walks by.
“You’re too good at that,” Eddie says, softly pushing Buck at the shoulder to make him continue walking down the path.
“I’ve had lots of practice.”
Eddie stops in his tracks when they walk through the children’s section and past the mountains of stuffed animals. He picks up a little lion, orange and yellow, looking like it was made out of scrap fabric, and small enough to fit in the palm of his hand. Buck’s heart skips a beat at the sight.
“Look at him,” Eddie says, holding it up to Buck, “He’s so little.”
“They’re adorable,” Buck picks up another and holds it up next to Eddie’s, “Do you think they’re friends?”
“Yeah,” Eddie smiles. Buck grins back at him and they stare at each other for a moment before Buck gets elbowed by someone passing by, breaking them out of it and forcing them to move on.
Finally, Buck gets his meatballs, and they sit across from each other feasting on them with their two little lions on the table in between them.
Friday 2:15 PM
Buck (Work): come over
Eds (my meatball): I’m really busy today.
Buck (Work): don’t be
Eds (my meatball): It doesn’t work like that and you know it.
Buck (Work): you are my worst enemy
Buck (Work): you hateme so bad
Eds (my meatball): You’re obsessed with me.
Buck (Work): my lion misses your lion :(
Eds (my meatball): No don’t say that
Eds (my meatball): I’ll try to come over as soon as I can
Getting struck by lightning sounds cool in theory, but turns out to not be very fun at the end of the day. Buck doesn’t get any kind of superspeed, which is disappointing, but he does get a crap ton of visitors by his bedside who he loves but kind of cannot stand at the moment.
It’s hard to lie in bed with nothing to do but once again, deep dive wikipedia, watch shitty medical dramas, and text Eddie. Except Eddie is usually there with him, so most of the time he’s just deep diving wikipedia and watching shitty medical dramas. Or Jeopardy, that’s been fun too.
One of the first things he noticed when he woke up was the two little stuffed lions on the table next to him, watching over him.
He finally gets Eddie to talk about it after a few days of pretending that this was just a regular, days-long, checkup.
“I got thrown back from it, when I got up you were already hanging from the ladder,” Eddie says quietly. He’s been looking down the entire time, like he can’t face Buck.
“Wait, you got hit by it too?” Buck furrows his brow. Eddie was on the ladder too. The current probably went through it and hit him too. Why has he not heard about this until now?
“I was fine, Buck,” Eddie finally looks at him, “I got up, went up the ladder, tried to pull you up, but you were too damn heavy.” He tries to tease, but it falls flat. Buck just gazes at him, tries to figure out what he’s seeing in Eddie’s eyes, but he can’t place it. He’s never not been able to figure out what Eddie’s thinking.
Eddie, who had to watch Buck die. Watch him dangle from the ladder and not be able to reach him. Who didn’t hesitate before running up to him. If that isn’t the most blatant show of love and loyalty, Buck doesn’t know what is.
“I’m sorry,” Buck says.
“Don’t,” Eddie shakes his head and grabs Buck’s knee where he sits criss-cross on the bed. “I’m just glad you’re alive.”
Buck smiles softly, “Me too.”
“Well,” Eddie pulls his hand back and plasters a happy look on his face, “Up for some more cards? I’ll go easy on you this time.”
“Don’t even think about it,” Buck grins, letting him change the subject. He knows Eddie doesn’t want to think about it anymore. Buck knows first hand what it’s like to think you’ve watched your best friend die. “I’ll beat you fair and square one of these days.”
“Mhm sure,” Eddie starts dealing out cards.
“Don’t you have your basketball game soon?” Buck checks the time, yeah, it’s almost four. “You don’t have to stick around here.”
Eddie narrows his eyes at him, pouting, “Don’t be stupid.”
He feels a little bit of leftover electricity run through him. “Okay.”
After a few weeks he’s finally able to stop thinking he’s running on borrowed time, or he should be doing something differently with his life, everything finally goes back to normal. Or so he thinks.
Tuesday 11:34 AM
Buck (Work): dinner tonight?
Eds! :) : Already have dinner plans, sorry.
Buck (Work): no
Buck (Work): do you even love me
Eds! :) : No
Buck (Work): you never want to see me anymore
Eds! :) : Don’t be dramatic
Buck (Work): you want me dead
Read 11:36 AM
Buck gets a bad taste in his mouth immediately after he sees Eddie’s typing bubble appear, disappear, appear, disappear, and never come back.
Tuesday 1:07 PM
Buck (Work): i’m sorry
Eds! :) : It’s okay
Eds! :) : Don’t say that one again
Buck (Work): gotcha
Friday 4:46 PM
Buck (Work): can we carpool to the bbq
Buck (Work): i’ll drive
Eds! :) : We’re probably heading out late, Chris has homework to finish up.
Buck (Work): ok and
Buck (Work): we can leave whenever
Eds! :) : No don’t wait for us, I know you want to help Bobby at the grill
Buck (Work): you just don’t want to see me
Buck (Work): you’re procrastinating bc you don’t want to hang out with me
Eds! :) : Yes that’s exactly what I’m doing
Buck (Work): you’ve got another best friend huh
Buck (Work): fine go to his family bbq i don’t even care
Eds! :) : You care. You care so bad.
Eds! :) : Come over now, we can leave when Chris is done.
Buck (Work): my evil plan works once again >:)
Buck (Work): On my way!
Buck spends an excruciating hour of his life trying to help Chris with his homework without just caving and giving him the answers when he feels bad. He thinks he should get some sort of prize for only doing it once, but all he gets is a smack on the head from Eddie. After that, he retreats to the couch and leaves Eddie to take over. He mindlessly scrolls on his phone for a minute, but can’t help but gaze over at them as Eddie speaks softly to his son. Ruffles his hair. Smiles at him with nothing but devotion in his face.
That familiar weird feeling sits in Buck’s chest for the rest of the day.
“You guys are late,” Maddie squints at them.
“I told Buck to go ahead, but he got really dramatic about it,” Eddie says, elbowing him.
“Hey-”
“You’re still doing that?” Maddie gapes at her brother, “The whole why don’t you love me possessive boyfriend thing?”
“I mean,” Buck buffers, “Yeah?”
She rubs at her temples and shakes her head. Buck looks at Eddie, confused, but Eddie just shrugs at him. They accepted a long time ago that no one else was ever really going to understand whatever the whole BuckandEddie thing was.
“They’re weird , Maddie,” Chris pipes up from next to Eddie. They all look towards him, Buck and Eddie with matching offense, Maddie with nothing but glee on her face.
“Tell me about it, kid,” Bobby calls from the grill. He’s smiling to himself, not even looking at them.
“Okay,” Buck says, rolling his eyes, “We didn’t come here to be bullied by all of you.”
“That’s what we’re here for, Buck,” Maddie says, laying a hand on his arm and giving him a sickly sweet look.
Eddie moves on to help Chris grab food and settle down at a table, and Buck tracks their every move. It’s only when Maddie laughs at him that he realizes he’s doing it.
“What?”
“Oh, nothing,” She tilts her head at him, “Just trying to figure out if you’ve realized it yet.”
He turns to face her fully, “Realized what?”
“I can’t tell you,” She pats his cheek like a child and walks away, leaving Buck standing in the middle of the yard wondering what the hell she’s talking about. He looks over towards Bobby, who immediately looks back towards the grill, chuckling.
Sunday 10:12 AM
Buck (Work): i’m bored
Buck (Work): hang out with me
Eddiepou: Sorry I have plans with Tommy.
Buck (Work): oh okay
You hate me . Delete. You’re replacing me . Delete. You don’t want to hang out with me anymore. Delete. You’re cheating on me. Delete. Who is this other woman? Delete.
Huh.
Usually those responses would come out of him so naturally. Buck’s been doing it for so long, it’s basically second nature at this point. Like there’s a specific part of his brain dedicated solely to Clingy Possessive Eddie Texts. Except, for some reason, every single one he tries feels wrong. It makes his stomach feel weird, so he deletes and deletes and eventually gives up.
Maybe Eddie will be happy to not have to deal with his bullshit at last.
Something about Eddie’s whole new friendship with Tommy just feels different. Eddie has other friends. He hangs out with people besides Buck all the time, and he’s never felt so strange about it. Eddie takes him to poker night and all Buck thinks is oh yeah, this makes sense for him, cool . He goes to his Thursday basketball games and Buck says I hate basketball, but good for you . He has wine nights with Karen and Buck is there to drive him home at 11pm sharp every time, no complaints.
Except now, Eddie is hanging out with Tommy. Flying in his stupid, but actually really cool dammit , helicopter, and fixing up cars, and circling dates in his calendar and it makes Buck want to tear his hair out.
Thursday 2:17 PM
Eddiepou: Can we reschedule dinner tomorrow? Tommy scored us tickets to a game last minute.
How dare you . Delete. I can’t believe this. Delete. Why do you hate me? Delete.
Buck (Work): yeah that’s fine how about saturday
Buck is one more text away from running into the bathroom and puking his guts out, it’s that serious.
The idea of Eddie spending so much time with Tommy genuinely makes him nauseous. He knows it’s ridiculous, he knows it’s immature, but he really just cannot take it anymore. Eddie is his best friend. He’s the best person Buck has ever known. Of course Tommy would want to spend time with Eddie and it’s not like Buck has any kind of claim over the man.
He’s starting to wish he did though.
Buck just doesn’t understand why it feels so different. Why he can’t even send a stupid joking text about it anymore. Why everything he types and deletes feels too real .
He’s not an actual jilted lover, he just pretends to be. It’s funny. Buck laughs, Eddie laughs, everything is cool. Except, annoyingly, his sister’s words won’t stop floating through his mind.
“Is it circled with a heart around it?”
And he’s pissed. Because no it’s not circled with a heart around it , but the idea of that makes him feel like crawling into bed and never coming back out, so surely that must mean something. Something he’s probably known for a while, deep down.
“Just trying to figure out if you’ve realized it yet.”
“Wait, you guys aren’t actually…”
God, he loves her, but he hates when Maddie is right. And she always is. Because Buck has a big, fat, stupid, embarrassing crush on his best friend Eddie and she’s known it all along.
Buck takes a miserable moment to spiral, alone in his loft while Eddie is out being wooed by Tommy Kinard. He tries to think back to when this started and ends up all the way to Eddie’s very first shift. When he was so obnoxiously awesome and hot and Buck didn’t know how to deal with it. When Buck’s leg was crushed and Eddie was over almost every day when he wasn’t working, bringing him takeout from his favorite restaurants. When Buck clawed through the mud to get to him, and then cried in a way he never had before when he couldn’t. When Eddie crawled into bed next to him and forced him to sleep. When he memorized exactly how long Buck was dead for, but never let him win at cards. When Eddie decided they would coparent two stuffed Ikea lions. When Eddie decided they would coparent his son .
Every single time he’s ever seen Eddie and Christopher in the same room. The way he looks at his son like he would give him the world and more, no hesitation.
Of course Buck is in love with Eddie. How could he not be? It’s as easy as breathing, to fall in love with Eddie Diaz.
And it’s equally as easy to be so jealous it makes him stupid.
Thursday 5:01 PM
Buck (Work): eddie i’m so sorry
Buck (Work): are you okay?
Eddie: I’m fine, don't worry about it.
Eddie: I’m sorry things got weird. I wasn't meaning to exclude you or anything.
Buck (Work): no don’t apologize that was on me
Buck (Work): can i come over and grovel in person :(
Eddie: Tommy’s here with me right now.
Buck (Work): okay
Eddie: Why’d you stop?
Buck (Work): what?
Eddie: Nevermind.
Eddie: He’s gone, come over
Buck lets himself into Eddie’s house quietly, not sure if he would be resting and absolutely terrified of hurting him any more than he already has. Except Eddie is sitting up on the couch, already craning his head around to watch Buck enter.
“Eddie, I’m so sorry,” He says immediately, rushing over to the couch.
“I said not to worry about it,” Eddie grumbles, “It was an accident.”
Buck sits down across from him on the coffee table and takes him in. Clearly in a bit of pain, ankle wrapped in an ice pack, but still giving him that small smile like nothing happened. God .
Buck gently lifts Eddie’s leg up on the coffee table next to him without thinking. The gesture feels familiar somewhere in the back of his memory.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Buck says, “I never want to hurt you.”
“I know that.”
“But I think there was part of me that was just so-“ A hot flush runs through Buck and he snaps his mouth shut. “Like, I think I would have done anything .”
“What are you talking about?” Eddie furrows his brows at him. Buck cannot fathom how he hadn’t realized anything about himself until now. With Eddie Diaz right in front of him the whole time. He gets a little lost in it for a moment and probably takes too long to answer his question because Eddie starts tilting his head at him, silently urging him to speak.
“You’re my best friend,” Buck says softly, looking down at his hands in his lap.
“You’re mine too,” Eddie bumps Buck’s knee with his own, “Nothing’s ever gonna change that you know.”
Buck knows that. Thank god for that, actually. Because it’s probably the only thing keeping him from completely spiraling. He could never lose Eddie, neither of them would let that happen. That’s not why the whole thing with Tommy made him so insane, he’ll never be afraid of losing Eddie’s friendship.
“Buck,” Eddie murmurs. Buck can feel the way his eyes burn into him, so he reluctantly meets his gaze. “Why’d you stop jealous texting me when I started hanging out with Tommy?”
Buck laughs awkwardly at the question. Eddie’s forwardness with Buck has never not been unnerving. He loves it, but the man is always picking Buck apart.
“I don’t know,” Buck lies, “I just… didn’t. No reason to it, man.”
Eddie levels him with a look for a tortuous moment.
“I know you, Buck,” Eddie presses, “And you sprained my ankle, so you have to be honest with me.”
“Eddie…”
“Tell me.”
“It felt real,” Buck chokes out, “Okay? I tried. And I couldn’t send you anything because it wasn’t a joke anymore.”
“Why?” Eddie smiles at him. Buck fidgets where he sits in front of him. “Why wasn’t it funny anymore?”
“Stop.”
“Buck,” Eddie laughs at him, “Don’t be scared.”
“I don’t care about you being friends with other people,” Buck says firmly, he wants to make that part clear, “All of those texts, I’ve never meant any of it.”
“But it was different when it was about Tommy,” Eddie finishes the thought for him.
“ Yeah ,” Buck releases through a breath, “I- I don’t know why he made it feel different, but… Maddie’s been saying some stuff that I didn’t really think about at the time, but now that I have I… And then I saw you guys together and… I was actually jealous. I hate how he’s been doing all of this cool stuff with you, and- and the way you talk about him, how he gets all of your attention. I- I want that to be me. With you. No one else.”
Eddie stares at him, expression unreadable. Buck’s heart beats so hard in his chest it feels like it’s going to break out of it. Eddie knows what he’s implying, he’s sure of it. Buck just hopes he isn’t digging them into a hole where they feel weird around each other for the rest of their lives.
“I’m sorry, I know I sound crazy-”
“You’re obsessed with me,” Eddie grins at him. His face reads nothing but fondness when their eyes meet again, and Buck is so, so glad to have scored him as his friend, even if he’s using Buck’s very intense emotional revelation to make fun of him.
“I-”
“You’re so obsessed with me it made you stupid.” Eddie sits up, moving closer to Buck. He brushes his pinky finger against Buck’s, whose hand opens immediately. Eddie wraps his fingers around Buck’s in a gentle hold, almost mindlessly. “You love me so much you couldn’t stand anyone else doing nice things for me, huh?”
Buck’s breath stutters, “Yeah- yeah I… Yeah. I do.”
Eddie bites his lip, still smiling around it. He places the hand not holding onto Buck’s on Buck’s neck. Fingers brushing right underneath his jaw.
Buck swallows, his mind racing. “That’s not… weird? ”
Eddie’s smile goes softer, smaller, but still there. Buck could get lost in his eyes if he tried hard enough.
“It’s good,” He says, then pulls him forward and brings his lips to Buck’s cheek. He laughs into Buck’s ear. Buck thinks he may have entered into a strange parallel universe somewhere in between his loft and Eddie’s house, but he’s not snapping out of anything when he pinches himself, so either it’s a very advanced parallel universe dream sequence, or it’s real .
“For the record,” Eddie says, voice low, “I’m pretty obsessed with you too, I just know how to handle it better.”
Buck groans, letting his head fall down onto Eddie’s chest. He’s never going to live this day down. “I’m so sorry .”
Eddie brings a hand up to Buck’s hair, chuckling. The sound vibrates against where Buck’s head rests on him, grounding him. They stay like that for a while, Eddie carding his fingers through Buck’s hair, Buck feeling the rise and fall of his chest. He’s finally able to take it all in, and realize what exactly Eddie’s been trying to do here. He lifts his head back up to squint at him.
“Did you keep name dropping Tommy because you knew it was making me jealous?”
“That doesn’t concern you,” Eddie replies, caught.
“Mmm, no, I think it does,” Buck teases, “You wanted me to get jealous, you’re stupid about me too.”
Eddie stares at him for a moment, like he’s studying Buck.
“Yeah, so what?” He whispers, then uses the hand on the back of Buck’s head to pull him forward again, nudging their noses together in a silent question, and finally brushing their lips together.
It’s so natural, Buck doesn’t even have to think twice about it. It feels like they’ve been doing this for the entire time they’ve known each other. Buck presses into the kiss, deepening it. He trails his hand up to Eddie’s waist, keeping it there because holy shit it’s obscene how has he not realized this . Eddie gasps into Buck’s mouth, breaking them apart for a moment, so he takes the opportunity to trail across Eddie’s cheek, towards where his ear meets his jaw, and down his neck.
“You’re my best friend,” Eddie says, breathless, “But you’re also so much more than that,” He pauses as Buck presses a kiss into the corner of his mouth, “And I love you, Buck, you’re everything. I need you to know that.”
Buck pulls back to look at him. Red lips, watery eyes, messy hair, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful .
“I know that, I promise, I know that.” Buck presses his fingers into Eddie’s waist. “I love you too.”
Eddie laughs, pure and bright, and yanks Buck back in again. He wraps an arm around Buck’s neck to keep him there for good.
“You know, you didn’t have to maim me to get my attention, I was planning on saying something,” Eddie says in between kisses.
“Oh yeah?” Buck looks at him, exaggerating skepticism, tilting his head at him like a dog, “You? With your track record?”
“Mmm, well they haven’t been you.”
Friday 2:53 PM
Buck (Work): we’re still on for tonight right?
Buck (Work): for the date
Buck (Work): just to be clear
Eds (loml) ❤️🔥: Oh shit, I’m sorry I made plans with Tommy.
Eds (loml) ❤️🔥: You don’t mind, right? He’s just sooo cool.
Buck (Work): i’ll kill him
Buck (Work): i’ll explode his firehouse right now don’t even play with me
Buck (Work): i’m picking you up at 7 and i never want to hear about his stupid face ever again
Eds (loml) ❤️🔥: Sounds great
“Oh Abuela texted me the recipe if you want to pull it up on my phone,” Eddie tells Buck as he’s washing dishes to free up some space before dinner. Buck pulls Eddie’s phone from his back pocket, giving his ass a grab on his way, making him jump. Buck just giggles and leans against the counter next to Eddie, opening his texts.
“Hey, wait, what the hell?”
Eddie’s head jolts up. “What?”
“Why am I in your phone as Buck parentheses work? With no profile picture?” Buck glares at him. “How many other Bucks do you know?”
“I just never changed it, I don’t know.”
“I bet you have Chris in here as Christopher parentheses son too huh?”
“No, that’s ridiculous,” Eddie scoffs, “I know who my son is.”
“ Oh , but you don’t know who your own boyfriend is? Your best friend? ”
“Well you were just Buck from work when I first met you.”
“I’m hurt, Eddie, I really am,” Buck feigns heartbreak, pressing a hand to his chest. “I’m fixing this.”
He scrolls through Eddie’s camera roll, finds the picture he knows is one of his favorites to make as his profile picture. One with Buck and Chris, heads smashed together, grinning at the camera so similarly it looks like they’re related. Then he changes the name, making a point of dramatically deleting every single character of (Work) .
“Here,” Buck turns the phone to face Eddie, “This is better, I think.”
Eddie just laughs and shakes his head, going back to the dishes.
“You’re an idiot,” He says, glancing back up at him as Buck finally finds the recipe, “I love you.”
Wednesday 5:13 PM
Buck my beautiful wife 💗💗🥰✨🧚♀️: come over
Buck my beautiful wife 💗💗🥰✨🧚♀️: and don’t say you can’t because i shared your google calendar with myself so i know you’re free
Buck my beautiful wife 💗💗🥰✨🧚♀️: bring chris i miss him
Eds (loml) ❤️🔥: You scare me.
Eds (loml) ❤️🔥: Be there in 30 <3