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Chapter Text

- March X791 -

It all came crashing down with one, simple question.

“Where’s Lucy?” Natsu asked. The cheery atmosphere felt like it was smothered in an instant, the Tenrou team watching the other guild members share solemn looks. Natsu met Bisca’s gaze, feeling the drop in the atmosphere as a lump formed in his throat.

“Don’t tell me she left the guild?” Gray asked, glancing across the dreary expressions of their fellow guildmates. Everyone who hadn’t been on Tenrou looked hesitant, sad, but there was no words to express it kindly. How could you say something so horrible gently? How could it be put so that it didn’t shatter them into a million pieces? 

Alzack held Bisca’s hand tightly, gaze cast down as he finally opened his mouth.

“A year ago, Lucy died.” Bisca’s voice came out before his could, Alzack turning a soft gaze to her, brows drawn together in concern. Natsu’s eyes widened, opening his mouth to speak before closing it again. His chest felt tight, impossibly so. 

“She- She’s strong, she wouldn’t die.” his protest came out as a weak croak, his throat constricting further as he tried to grasp back to reality, feeling the way his breaths felt like they were coming in gasps, the way his vision was blurring with barely contained tears. The way everything else seemed to blur as he looked up to Bisca, hoping she was playing a cruel prank. Knowing she was never that type of person. 

“She died peacefully in her sleep.” her words were slow, like a final nail in the coffin of finality as she frowned. “She wanted me to tell you that she was sorry she couldn’t last long enough to see you all again, she…. She really missed you all.” she walked through the words robotically, she’d gone over them in her head a million times. “She had a message for you.” her gaze turned up to Natsu. 

He stiffened, hands clenching tightly into fists, trying to brace his breaking heart, trying to grasp onto the way his feet touched the ground, the way air rushed into his lungs. Calm down, breathe. 

“She wanted me to preface it with an apology, because she knew how much it would hurt.” Bisca hesitated, hands clenching tightly into fists. Natsu barely stopped himself from stumbling back, trying to reel himself in, trying to rationalize that there must be some mistake, there was no way Lucy was dead. She was smart and strong and there was just no way. A joke, this had to be, maybe-

“She wanted me to tell you she loves you, and that it’s okay to move on.” She’d said it about fairy tail. That she loves fairy tail, she said before she loves her friends. 

This was different, Natsu could sense it, he knew it. He opened his mouth, no sounds coming out as he met Bisca’s gaze swimming with immeasurable grief and finally, it hit. It felt like the wind was knocked out of him as he clasped a hand over his mouth. It felt ten times worse than any punch he’d taken, ten times worse than any time he’d been laying after a fight feeling like death had warmed over him. The world was moving in slow motion, Happy was calling his name, and before he could think he was running. 

He wasn’t sure where he was going, his vision blurred as his cheeks felt wetter, the path blurred into brush and the shouts died out. 

It had to be a mistake. They must just think she was dead. It had to be that, she had to be okay. If she wasn’t-

His chest felt tight again, his breath stolen as he collapsed to his knees, gasping for air as tears rolled down his cheeks, mouth open wordlessly. No noise escaped him as he silently sat there, his blood coldly running through his veins. His chest felt like it was being crushed by a building, so tight he could barely breathe. 

He felt paralyzed, trapped in the feeling of his body failing him, the constant loop of denial before his mind flickered back to Bisca’s expression, the words she spoke. 

Lucy loved him back, and she was dead. 

What should have been the happiest revelation of his life, that Lucy loved him back, was crushed by the overwhelming weight of her death. The words twisted and writhed in his chest, poisioned by the all consuming knowledge that Lucy was dead. 

His hands clenched into fists, opening his mouth. 

He let out a scream, bashing fiery fists against the ground, bashing his fists into the earth over and over again, feeling the cuts form, feeling the blood smear across his fists as he struck the earth over and over again, fire flaring out with each impact.

After a while he went silent again, braced against the ground with his arms, a soft hiccup escaping him. He rolled onto his back, staring up at the sky as tears poured down his cheeks. 

“This wasn’t supposed to happen.” 

Back at the guild the silence remained eerie, endless morbid questions hanging unasked in the air. Erza sat with her face in her hands, Wendy sobbing into Gray’s shirt, clinging to him tightly as he tried to comfort her through his own tears.

“What… Happened?” Makarov’s voice was quiet, barely audible as he looked to Mocao. Macao frowned, looking away.

“We don’t really know.” he mumbled softly. Makarov jolted. 

“What… what do you mean you don’t know?” he asked. Wakaba peered over at them as Macao shrunk into himself, struggling to answer the question.

“Lucy was drafted into the war that started shortly after you all vanished. The nature of her draft was hidden from us, all this time we thought she was a researcher. Until we got the call to pick her up because she was injured in battle we didn’t know she was fighting.” he explained softly. “ The records of what happened are sealed, the only people who know what happened that day were there and well…” he looked away

“We never asked for too many details.” Alzack admitted quietly. “We know she fell in battle against Acnologia, but nothing more. It… was too painful to pry into every detail. All that mattered was she was gone.” Bisca looked away, closing her eyes for a moment. 

“What…. Was she like? How much had she changed?” Cana’s voice was breathless, her knuckles white as Bisca smiled softly. 

“We saw her rarely, ten times in six years. She was always cheery when we saw her but…. Knowing what we know now, she was hiding her pain from us, hiding everything so we wouldn’t worry. I can’t really say we knew her at the end, or over the last six years.” her voice was hollow, her gaze sad as she looked at Cana. “We know nothing, not who she served with, where she went, who she fought. She didn’t share any of it with us. She struggled alone, till the very end where we got to be by her side.” 

The room was silent again, just as dreary as the moment they asked that first question. Where is lucy? Gone, and never coming back, we’re sorry. 

Helplessly sitting here, laughing and enjoying themselves while Lucy fought for her life every day. Believing the lies she told to explain why her paychecks were high enough to sustain the guild and the search parties to go out and check if the island had resurfaced. 

They should have asked how she was getting by more, how she was living. They should have forced the issue and come to visit, figured out the lies she was putting up. But no one did, she was such a convincing liar when it came down to protecting them. Her lies were like honey, baiting her own trap, her feet tangled in it, trapped where she stood watching the danger come closer, but still spilling those sweet, comforting lies.

“We know she was brilliant, strong, I could feel it every time we met, she’d matured beyond her years, too fast. She sometimes talked to me like she was a mother hen, she worried about us protectively.” she continued on, smiling fondly. “She would send us letters, she’d avoid talking about her situation besides some sweet lies, but she talked most about missing home, missing us, and missing you all. She would tell me she had no doubts you would come home. Even when I was starting to doubt she would stay strong. ‘Don’t worry, they’re coming home’ she’d write, ‘just wait a bit longer, you’ll see.’ “ Bisca smiled, turning her gaze towards them. 

“She had a knack for being right with her gut feelings. A knack for inspiring hope even better than before. Even from so far away, it felt like she was always cheering us on, always having our backs.” she explained. 

“She learned to draw to show me the places she saw.” Reedus spoke softly, “she said it was a good way to pass the time when she had some. She sent sketches of you all as well, her art became better with time, she said it helped her wind down to draw. I can show you sometime if you’d like.” he added. 

It was so terribly bittersweet.

They were left clinging to the memories of her the people left behind had left. Scraps of interactions, ten visits over six years, and letters, drawings. All that was left of her. All that they would ever have left of her presence. Her space in the room was so loudly empty no one could bear it. To admit it would be to admit the impossible, one of their guildmates had died. While they were gone, while no one was there, she decided her death and took the chance, and on her deathbed, she asked Bisca to apologize them, because she couldn’t make it to see them.

A shaky hope that they would one day come back, that everything would be okey for them even though it was all going wrong for her. A faith that everything would be okay after her death, and a guilty confession of love that broke him. 

How was he supposed to handle that news? That she was dead and she wanted him to know she loved him? 

What a horribly cruel joke, but no one could blame the selfishness of a dying woman. What was Bisca supposed to do? Not tell him? Let her dying words forever evade its intended recipient? 

“There is one more thing.” eyes flickered to Bisca as she spoke, Alzack wincing a bit. This was going to complicate things. “Lucy cast one last spell on her deathbed.” she turned her gaze to Erza and Gray, Wendy and happy and Carla, all drawn together to suffer their grief together. “Lucy allowed her magic, all that would exist in her, past, present, and future, to form into a creature capable of only fulfilling her dying will. It does not think, it does not speak, it’s the pure manifestation of her goal to protect Fairy tail from Acnologia.” she had to make it clear, she had to get it across. Lucy was dead. This was not her, it was some reminder of her they couldn’t ever get rid of.

“What- what do you mean creature?” Erza asked slowly, tears streaming from her left eye, puffy from crying. 

“It takes the form of a lion, but it shifts shape depending on the need of the situation. It’s a manifestation of all her magic power and spells at her death. It’s sole directive is to protect us from Acnologia. She created it to do this one task.” 

“Is it-”

“We call it Lucy, but it’s not her, just…. What’s left of her.” Macao mumbled softly. “It’s nice sometimes to look at it and pretend she’s not dead.” he added hollowly.

Bisca lowered her head slightly.

“I can take you to meet it. It rests at her grave sight.”

“Please.” Erza pleaded softly. 

Chapter Text

- February X784, Before the War -

Lucy scratched her pen across one of the papers, rubbing her bleary eyes as she looked over the reports. Three weeks of searching had found no signs left of Tenrou island. It was simply gone, vanished into thin air. In her gut she knew they would be okay, they had to be. These were their strongest members they were talking about. Of course they would be okay. 

She glanced over the forms she’d have to re-do, sighing heavily. She’d done some of them wrong in her first days trying to straighten out guild affairs. She had no clue what she was doing, she still had no clue what she was doing. She was a temporary master at best and she was already drowning in the overwhelming workload. She didn’t have the spine and the gall Makarov had to face the magic council as brazenly as he did. 

Standing up to them like they were insignificant bugs, she couldn’t imagine. He always managed to pull off making them happy with the guild despite the massive liability they were. She never was nervous for the possible future that the guild would be shut down because the very idea felt unimaginable.

A heavy knock sounded at her door. She let out a heavy sigh. “Come in!” she called. Bisca peeked into the room with a bare hint of a smile. 

“A serious looking Rune Knight handed this off at the front door and said it was very important you got it.” she offered out a thick folder. Lucy blinked, taking it tiredly. More work, what a tiresome thing to deal with when she was supposed to be mourning her friends, Natsu….

“Thank you.” she managed a weak smile, Bisca nodding slightly, closing the door behind her as she left. No one liked being in this office. It reminded them too much of Makarov every time they occupied his space. Where she sat now was where he was supposed to be. It was where he was meant to be right now, whining about paperwork and damage expenses. 

She opened the sealed folder, pulling out the thick stack of papers and settling them on her desk. Boredly she glanced over the title, freezing in place.

‘Draft notice for Macao Conbolt’ 

No.

She flipped the pages, her body shuddering as she read through each name, matching each one to each remaining guild member in her mind. 

All of them. 

They wanted all of them. 

She held her own draft notice in trembling hands 

‘You are being drafted to fight against the Alvarez empire among other enemies that have declared war and pose an imminent threat to the Fiore empire. As a registered guild member you are included in the first round of the draft pool, report to your designated meeting location within a month or you will be deemed a deserter.’ 

She couldn’t breathe. Everyone? They were all just supposed to leave Romeo here all by himself and march off to war? What would he do to survive? How would the others fare-

She tensed, scenarios flickering through her head, the death toll, the danger, the possibility that some of them would never come home. Some of them would die.

More of her guild would die.

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to calm her heaving breaths as she thought. What would Makarov do? What would he have done? Probably yelled and screamed and protected everyone. 

She was regretting being the one left behind. It should have been someone better suited to leadership. Someone like Makarov, he’d always held the guild together. Erza, Gray, anyone, they were all so much stronger than her. 

She thumbed her notice, freezing as a final page unstuck from hers, Romeo’s name boldly printed on the notice.

She stuffed the stack of draft notices back into the folder, clutching it tightly as she left the office, walking down the stairs with a deep furrow in her brow.  

“Lucy? Everything alright?” Bisca asked softly, brow drawn together in worry. Lucy forced herself to relax a bit, plastering a weak smile across her lips.

“There’s a matter I need to discuss with the council. I’ll be venturing off for about a week if all goes well and they hear me out.” She explained, “Take care of eachother while I’m gone.” She waved as she left, her goodbye party a mere few sad waves. No one had any energy left, she didn’t either, pure adrenaline driving her forward into a sprint. She rented a horse and set off at a breakneck speed, stopping only for the animal to rest and recuperate. 

It felt like forever, a two day journey that should have been four at best, an exhausted horse under her and slight guilt in her heart for pushing the animal so hard. 

“State your name and reason for visiting.” The Rune Knights blocked her path inside the building.

“I am Lucy Heartfelia, the temporary guildmaster of Fairy Tail. I require to speak with the council.” her heart was hammering in her chest, Chanting to do what Makarov would do. 

Protect their family. Protect everyone, no matter the cost.

“You have no appointment, come back later-”

“I don’t think I stuttered.” She glared down at the man, gritting her teeth sharply. She could beat him up like Erza did, she was highly considering it when the other Rune Knight nudged his companion. 

“You’re a known guild member, they may not be available right now so be prepared to wait.” she brushed past him into the building, stalking through the halls, horse forgotten at the gate. She glanced over the signs, wandering at a rushed pace before she finally bumped into a worker.

“Where are the council members right now?” the man flinched, shrinking back a bit at her glare.

“Um, they’re in a meeting right now down the hall but you really shouldn’t disturb them-” he stuttered, sending her a nervous look as she ignored him and strode down the hall towards the door. The rage from days prior had festered inside her. The question of what Makarov would do was drowned out by the pure rage, the likes of which she’d never felt before.

She had been angry at her father, at many people before, but none of it compared to this feeling, this sick, poisonous burning rage that both warmed her chest and made her mind feel dead cold. 

She shoved the door open, setting her sights on the man who’s name was signed at the bottom of all the notices they received. Gran Doma, a much mightier wizard than her. 

“You’re interrupting an important meeting, come back later.” Doma scoffed, looking away from her. Her pupils thinned, no one paying her any mind besides Org as he took in her wild eyes and tensed.

It was a single moment before she was grabbing his staff and bashing it against his head.

“How dare you!” her scream was shrill, her voice dripping with venom. “How dare you draft a child! I’ll cut your fucking dick off and feed it to you, I’ll kill you if you ever try that bullshit with me again.” he was too stunned to react, staring wide eyed at her with blood running down his face as the very low rank wizard he’d given no thought to stood above him with a murderous glare and a twitch of temptation that told of her want to finish the job. 

She was heaving, her chest tight and her mind dancing with ideas. 

Murder was at the forefront. She wasn’t sure how but she would be killing this man, and the rest of them if they couldn’t keep their mouths shut. Skill level be damned, she was going to kill him. 

“Wait- wait a moment. Let’s just calm down right now-” Org was trying to placate, raising his hands to her with an unsure look. From what he heard she was supposed to be the docile one of the destructive part of Fairy Tail, but looking at her now holding a bloodied staff with eyes hiding none of her murderous intentions, he was beginning to doubt any of them had been sane. 

“Lucy, you’ve always been reasonable, what’s going on?” her gaze caught on a familiar face, Michello. She’d met him once before with Makarov. She gripped the staff in her hand tightly.

“I’m going to kill him, and anyone else here who thinks I would allow any of you to draft a six-year-old into a war.” The room paused, blinking owlishly.

“Wait a moment, you have a six-year-old guild member?” Doma blinked, assessing the situation with far less anger and a twinge of shame now as he stood back up. Lucy narrowed her gaze. 

“You didn’t look at his age when drafting every member of our guild?” Her expression was a sneer, voice dripping with malice. Her heart was racing on the inside, her fear at an all time high as she assessed how badly she’d screwed this up with her impulsivity. At worst she might be executed for attempted murder against a council member, she was hoping for a slap on the wrist though as unlikely as that was. 

“You’re the only guild with a member so young.” he spat back, regaining his composure as he snatched his staff back from her grasp. “The child will be exempt, we expect all other members to meet at their assigned locations.” Her hands clenched tightly into fists as Doma scowled, touching the blood on his forehead.

“You’re going to have to settle for just me, or I won't be sharing how to kill Zeref.” All eyes snapped to her, her gaze remaining even, cold as Doma froze. “I supposed Makarov didn’t share that I was working on that, and well, Acnologia. There’s some interesting leads turning up, ways to weaken the dragon.” she smirked, “It’s too bad, I would have liked to lend that help, but…” she shrugged “If you must draft my other guild members, I suppose I’ll play the role of a foot soldier.” Doma narrowed his gaze, the others tensing.

“Only a fool would have hid leads like this from us.” Doma argued, “You must be lying.” she narrowed her gaze.

“You would do well to speak kindly of those not present considering you are the fool who tried to draft a six year old.” She snapped back instantly, trying to get a hold on her rage before she swung at him again, finding satisfaction in the way blood dripped down the side of his face.

“The Fairy Tail guild is known for their brazenness, not their lies.” Org spoke firmly, looking at her with an analyzing gaze, taking in the resolute, angry look in her gaze. “I believe her.” he looked to the other two present at the meeting “Michello, Warrod, what do you say?” Warrod thought for a moment, smiling.

“We should only draft Lucy, I find her demands reasonable.” Michello sighed heavily.

“I admit as well, if she had information on spells able to defeat Zeref we cannot simply ignore this.” Doma scoffed, scowling as he was easily outvoted.

“You have our word then.” Org turned his gaze to Lucy, extending his hand to her “You will be drafted alone, the rest of your guild will remain home safe from the war.” she grasped his hand firmly.

“Send another draft, name me a research assistant.” her demand was almost senseless. Org narrowed his gaze, Warrod sighing softly. He couldn’t help but admit how kind a soul she was, he wondered for a moment if anyone else knew she was lying so boldly. He figured if they did they wouldn’t be so open to the deal. Makarov spoke to him often of his worries of Zeref and Acnologia, and not once had he mentioned any research. 

“Very well, we’ll allow your guild to think you are safe. You’ll join the first assault team to assess your combat skills. We expect research results ready to be presented within six months. I understand the messy nature of researching this kind of thing, so we will give you this time.” Org relayed evenly, keeping his sharp gaze on her as she bowed her head slightly.

“I appreciate it. I will produce results.” She bowed, leaving the room with an even tighter chest than when she first entered. There was something hollow about her, something dully worried. Something that wondered what if she didn’t make it? What if she dies on that battlefield? What if she dies before everyone from Tenrou comes back? What if she never gets to see them again?

She shook her head softly, walking down the hall, recalling her draft notice alone, now that the others had become inconsequential. 

She had to protect her family, just like Makarov would, using every tooth and nail she had she would gouge her way to the finish line if only to keep them from having to experience the front lines. To keep Romeo from growing up without his family, to keep herself from losing anyone else precious to her. 

They had to live, no matter what.

She would ensure it.

Chapter Text

- March X791 -

The walk to her grave was quiet. It was just her team, minus Natsu. Everyone else seemed to be giving them space for now. Bisca led the way, Alzack staying behind to take care of Asuka as she took them down the path.

“Why is…. It so far out?” Wendy asked quietly, staring at her feet as she padded after Erza who followed Bisca swiftly. They had walked a few minutes outside of town, going mostly up towards one of the mountains. It was by no means in a popular area.

“When Doma was erecting it I asked that too.” Bisca mumbled softly. “He told me this was where she wanted to rest. I didn’t ask anything beyond that.” she explained. She wasn’t in the mind to interrogate him at the time, the thought didn’t even occur to her. She was more focused on the need for a grave at all. It was the only thing she could focus on.

They came to a clearing, yellow and pink flowers blooming all across the field amongst rich grass. The stone path finally led to an end. Erza stared up at the statue with widened eyes. She remembered her own visions of her death, her own war like statue, what people would remember her for.

Lucy’s was none of that. She was dressed elegantly, in a military dress uniform, holding an open book in one hand, the other tucked into her pocket. In stark contrast to the stone around her neck was a brilliant gold emblem of Fiore secured around her neck with a thin gold chain. Cleaner than it should be given how long it had to have been out here. Her eyes were closed, her chin lifted up as if basking in the sun as light hit the stone.

She looked peaceful like that. 

Erza swallowed thickly, snapped out of her thoughts as Wendy tugged her skirt slightly, casting her gaze down at the base of the statue. There was a heavy stone base that the statue stood on, stairs leading up to it and a gravestone situated at the base of the stairs. Perched on the stairs was Aquarius, gently holding the head of a white lioness that impassively accepted the way she stroked its head. Lucy’s keys on their ring, tied around its neck with an elegant gold chain that matched the color of the zodiac keys.

It looked like no more than an animal, no, less than an animal. It didn’t react to her touch even slightly, it did not move to look at them as Aquarius lifted her gaze either, sadness swimming in her eyes as she paused. 

“Is that…” Gray’s voice caught in his throat.

“It’s not Lucy.” Bisca was firm, her voice almost sadly bitter as she gazed up at the Lion. “It’s simply her last will, it’s barely a creature.” Aquarius’ hand clenched tightly against the Lion’s head.

“Don’t speak like that.” She snapped, Bisca frowning as Aquarius glared back at her. “Go away.” Bisca looked away, back to the team, lowering her head a bit.

“I’ll see you back at the guild.” Bisca murmured, leaving them there on their own. Happy hesitantly approached, looking up at Aquarius nervously. She was normally angry, but this felt different, more volatile, sadder. Aquarius’ gaze softened as Happy padded up to them, his gaze locked onto the lion whose head had been gently guided into her lap.

“Can I say hello?” he asked. Aquarius’ smile didn’t reach her eyes, weak and drained, smoothing a hand over the Lion’s head. 

“Lucy doesn’t react much.” she murmured, Happy glancing at her for a moment before turning his gaze back to the Lion, Lucy. 

“It’s good to see you again.” he grinned, tears flowing quickly down his cheeks as he sniffled bravely, trying to fight off the sobs that wanted to take over his body. He moved forward, wrapping his arms around her neck as he dissolved into sobs, Aquarius gently resting a hand on his back as he cried into her fur. 

The creature, Lucy, didn’t react. It was weird to call this thing Lucy, but the idea that she was gone was too strong. It infested their minds and left behind a gaping hole that screamed “This is Lucy, this is her, she’s okay.” as they looked at the nearly lifeless lion before them.

Erza sat beside them, not entirely sure what to do with herself as Wendy and Gray hung back, more unsure of it than them, Carla Holding Wendy’s hand tightly as she tried not to cry herself. 

Erza rested her hand on it’s head.

“It’s good to see you again Lucy.” she whispered, just for herself. The silent words no one else was willing to speak, the self assurance that this lion was Lucy herself, not what Bisca said, not what they knew in their heads. 

It had to be Lucy, because there was no conceivable way for Lucy to die just like that. The idea simply did not exist.

So Lucy it would be.

Wendy twitched, turning her head first, catching sight of white hair and an unfamiliar outline. Gray narrowed his gaze, shifting a bit as the figure came into closer view. It was Lyon, a bundle of pink flowers grasped in his hands, his eyes tracking them. They didn’t ask any questions at first, Erza noticing immediately that Aquarius had vanished, Happy pulling away sniffling to look at him. He glanced over them, but moved with purpose. He stopped at the gravestone set before the stairs and statue, resting the flowers there as he knelt for a moment.

He closed his eyes, silence stretching over the moment before he rose again, gaze darting to Lucy. 

“It’s been a long time, I hope you’ve been well.” he spoke, his gaze darting to Gray next. “I heard of your return shortly after it all happened, I was already on my way so it worked well I guess. I’m happy to see you all finally back safe and sound.” his voice was worn, his face tired. Gray would normally tease him about whatever late night he had probably pulled to work himself into such a state, but this didn’t look like that kind of tired. 

It was a tired set deep in his bones, that hung in the air of his lungs and weighed down his feet. 

“How did you know Lucy?” Carla asked. 

The necessity of the question itself felt heavy. 

They never thought they would be strangers to Lucy again, and yet here they were standing at her grave asking everyone they met since they got back “What was she like?” no one gave a full answer yet. Maybe no one wanted to.

“We served together in the war.” he answered, hands stuffed into his pockets as he gazed at the statue of her. “I don’t think she would have wanted a statue, but if she did, this one would have been up to her standard. Violence was never what she was really known for, she was brilliant.” Gray’s mouth went dry, following after Lyon as he sat on the steps below where Lucy was perched. Wendy couldn’t help herself either, her feet following after him before she could stop herself.

A link, someone who knew . Someone who could tell them something, anything. 

“What was she like?” Happy asked this time, his eyes still brimming with tears as he furiously whipped them away. Lyon paused for a moment, staring at Lucy as he contemplated his answer.

“She was the strongest woman I’ve ever known, The strongest person I’ve ever known.” he decided, his gaze meeting Erza’s dead on. “There was no challenge she couldn’t overcome. Whatever it took she would make it happen.” he looked to the field of flowers, raking over the yellows and pinks that consumed the landscape.

“We served together from day one. I had been part of Lamia Scale, a new member at the time. I regretted it almost instantly when the draft notice came in. I was so scared I wrote a letter to everyone I knew in case I never came back.” He leaned back a bit, smiling sadly. Gray’s hands clenched tightly, but he stayed silent.

“Our first outing was on an Assault team, two of ten guild wizards assigned to it. A thousand other men filled our ranks.” he tapped his finger lightly against his leg, “I felt like a mouse compared to her. She looked so sure of herself, steeled for whatever was to come. When the first bomb hit I was knocked out for a minute, when I came to she was already hoisting me up. She carried me for miles on her back with shrapnel in her leg. I was too scared to take it all in, I was probably in shock for all of it. I’d never lost so much blood before, so the details are fuzzy, but I remember that much.” He rested his chin on his palm.

“...Feel free to ask what you’d like, I know the guild doesn’t know all that much about the situation.” Erza opened her mouth after a long, silent moment.

“What was she like later on?” The question was like poison on her tongue, searching for an answer she wasn’t sure if she wanted. 

“I wouldn’t say she thrived in war, but she did excel in it.” he mumbled, furrowing his brows a bit as he considered his word choice. “When I was resting after the attack she was forming battle plans. She led a strike on our attackers, and before I was even off bedrest she had been promoted for her contributions. All of our command had been killed, and the soldiers trusted her, so she rose in the ranks. She excelled quickly. Jura joined up, along with Jellal as a term of his release from custody. When they first joined our team a month in, Jura was stronger than Lucy. It wasn't long before they were equals, and not much longer after that Jura would balk at being considered her equal in strength. She knew how to use her magic well, she knew how to position soldiers to win. After two years her strategies were the backbone of the war efforts. She led us through taking back the front line, pushing it out of Fiore and taking back our land for the people who’d once called it home.” he hesitated a bit, smiling sadly.

“Lucy was someone who always got what she wanted, because she’d stop at nothing to make it happen. When she set her sights on a target it would be hers, rest assured. Away from the battlefield she was kind, always assured, never wavering. She didn’t let herself freeze up like me. I admired that most about her. What I was lacking she had in spades.” he chuckled.

“She was strong in a way I’d never seen before, not like Ur, or you, something different altogether, like a train without brakes forcing its way forward through all obstacles. There was nothing that could tie her down.” it felt even more unpalatable now. Horribly unsettling, it couldn’t make any sense.

“How did she die?” Wendy regretted the question the moment it left her lips, Carla sharply inhaling as her gaze snapped to Wendy, squeezing her hand tightly.

“You don’t need to answer that-”

“I wasn’t there for her death itself, but I was there in that battle.” he started, smiling lightly, no hint of sadness on his features as he gazed at Lucy. “She fought to her last with the strength she’d worked so hard to achieve, doing the only thing she ever wanted to do, protecting her family. She protected her guild, and our team with every breath, till her last and beyond. That was all that ever mattered to her. Back when we first started out I couldn’t see anything but her bravery, but I look back now and wonder, if she was as scared as I was, just better at hiding it. I’ll never be truly sure, but I do wonder.” Erza’s chest felt tight. All the answers settled wrong in her chest. Like the tragic tale of a stranger she was supposed to feel bad for, pierced together and foreign, yet she was supposed to apply this to Lucy?

She didn’t doubt her strength, her ability to excel, no, it was the death that bothered her, the happy, willing death, all to protect them, her guild, and this new team that had become like family to her too, Jellal, who she was too scared to wonder about, also graced this tale in a horribly vague way.

She wondered what he would have to say about Lucy, what scraps of knowledge she could pry from his brain and graft into her own memory, pretend in her head, for just a moment, that she knew Lucy again, that this warrior, death accepting woman wasn’t her, because the Lucy she knew would have fought tooth and nail and survived. 

That was why Lucy couldn’t be dead, because the very nature of her was to fight for survival, there was no way she would have accepted and given in to death. 

Erza’s gaze landed on Lucy, resting a gentle hand on her head. She felt warm at least, a little bit alive, even if that might…

She felt alive. 

That was all she needed to convince herself, even as vacant brown eyes stared back at her. 

Natsu stared from the treeline, unable to peel his gaze away from those brown eyes. 

Chapter Text

- March X784, The First Battle -

After a sorrowful goodbye to her guild and grabbing her things, Lucy was off, but this time in far less of a rush. Her head was constantly racing with thoughts. Mostly about how she was going to make good on her promises given she hadn’t even started researching Acnologia or Zeref. She had no idea how to kill or hurt either of them. She’d only met Zeref once, and Acnologia even more briefly considering he didn’t say a single word to them, he saw them as insects too unworthy of conversation. 

She packed mostly necessities and whatever books on zeref, Acnologia, and dark magic she could find in the guild library. She had to start somewhere. The council couldn’t know that she was starting this from scratch, not till she had some results to show for her efforts. 

When she arrived there was a busy woman stationed at the entrance to the base, scribbling down on her paper as the line grew shorter. 

Lucy could feel the lump in her throat the closer it got to her turn, but it was far too late to regret things now, wasn't it?

“Name and papers?” The woman looked up at her tiredly, customer service voice worn out through the morning, no one was in the mood for smiles anyways. Lucy displayed her draft notice on the desk.

“Lucy Heartfelia.” she answered evenly. The woman adjusted her glasses, scanning over the document for a moment before scribbling down on her clipboard and nodding.

“Good, we’ve been expecting you for a while, command has some special instructions for you, you’ll be housed with the other guild wizards assigned to this assault unit, head to tent five for now, keep these with you at all times, we’ll be identifying you as one of our wizards with the emblem and using it to track you on the battlefield. Don’t take either off.” She passed her a necklace with a hefty metal emblem on it, the royal emblem of Fiore cast in a cheap metal, probably mass produced. The second item she gave her was a set of dog tags, her name and guild stamped onto them along with some other information.

She jolted a little as the person behind her shifted impatiently, snatching back her draft notice and moving forward, into the base. There were lots of people ambling about. Most seemed trained, precise. Those were the soldiers of Fiore, ever the professionals. They were training in the yard, clashing spears and swords, looking as confident as ever. Only a spare few looked nervous for what was to come, she would count herself among them but she was fairly confident it would go fine. 

For a first attack this force was large. She didn’t know the count for sure. She was sure it would rise as more arrived, but it was a good sign for her so far. The more the better, all it could do was help their chances of winning swiftly in the battle to come. 

She glanced over the numbers on the canvas as she passed each tent, making it to number five in a few minutes of poking around. She slipped inside, spying a white haired man with his back turned to her on one of the cots, his bag at the end of it.

She didn’t pay him any mind for now, letting the flap fall shut behind her as she moved forward, decisively claiming the cot next to him. Her aversion to sleeping near others had long been forced out of her with the help of….

She sat down heavily, pausing as the man’s head turned, wide eyes meeting hers. “Lyon?”

“Lucy?” he spluttered, blinking owlishly as he turned to fully face her. 

“What are you doing here?” she raised her brows, last time she saw him they were teaming up against the Oracion Seis. Looking at him now he looked worse for wear, like he hadn’t slept in days. She couldn’t blame him, she wasn’t getting much rest these days herself.

“I got a draft notice a week after.” he smiled nervously, a hint of bitterness in his tone. What a hell of a prize for trying to turn his life around right? “You get drafted too?” he asked.

“Yeah.” she sighed, sliding her notice back into her bag with her books and other things. “I was about as happy about it as you seem to be.” Lyon hesitated for a moment, eyes latched onto her with a nervous, hesitant look.

“Has there been any….” he trailed off.

“No signs yet, with my salary from here we’re hoping to fund more expeditions for some time.” she mumbled, looking away from him. Just another reminder that they were gone. Everyone was always asking, always talking about it. She wanted to drown in the numbness of her mind and forget, for just a moment. 

But she couldn’t, because remembering was how she honored them, how she forced her feet forward, knowing one day they would be back, that she would get to see them again. 

It would all be worth it, she knew it. She just had to survive till they got back, then she’d have people to have her back again. 

It felt horribly ironic to think that, especially considering that she was the one blocking them from helping her. She never even asked for help from her guildmates, she just acted to protect them with no consideration for their wants, only their safety. She never gave them a chance to be her backup, she chose this, so what was she doing daydreaming about having everyone from Tenrou back?

“Good, I’m sure you’ll find them soon, Gray is too stubborn to die like that.” his smile was hesitant, Lucy laughing softly.

“Yeah.” she agreed. “They’re all too pigheaded to die so easily. We’ll see them again someday, hopefully soon.” He nodded, Lyon jolting as the tent flap was lifted, another mage waving to them as he entered, claiming another one of the empty cots. 

Lucy sighed heavily, laying down in her own cot, staring up at the ceiling of the tent as the other person shuffled his things around.

“Get some good sleep, we’ll be needing it.” there would be no preparation, tomorrow was the day. Time was short and they needed to move out soon. Orders would be given on the way, not a moment sooner as everyone scrambled into place and the more ready soldiers got everything in line.

“It’ll be a hell of a day,” the other mage mumbled softly.

“It’ll be fine.” Lyon assured himself, laying down in his cot, blankly staring up at the ceiling, fidgeting with his hands lightly as he tried to calm his mind.

Lucy tried not to pay it any mind lest Lyon’s barely contained terror wear off on her. It scared her that he was scared. He who because of Gray, she knew had more experience with senseless, chaotic violence than her. Someone who knew the aftermath of Zeref’s demons, who had experienced what he’d created before, and knew some semblance of what they were walking into. 

His fear, above all the others, put her on edge. So she ignored it, pretended he was fine so that she herself could ignore this sinking feeling in her gut growing with each moment. 

Everything would be okay, she was sure of that. So very sure.

She drifted off to sleep assuring herself of those things, making sure to keep herself calm and even enough that her heart didn't race her brain into nervous wakefulness. 

She woke early to the sounds of shouts to get up, the canvas of the tent being hit as a wakeup call.

“Get up!” a man pulled open the flap as Lucy slid onto her feet, blearily noticing she’d slept in her clothes. Lyon had too, she observed as he shot up, grasping his bag tightly. “Leave your things and come with me, we’ll be bringing food stores and other necessities, you’ll stay in the clothes you’re wearing now, we’ve got no time for those fancy uniforms.” he was glaring at them, but none of them were particularly impressed by it other than Lyon.

“We’re not foot soldiers calm down. We just got drafted yesterday, you’re crazy if you expect us to act like new recruits.” the mage across from her snorted, slipping on his boots. 

“You’ll be charged with treason if you act delinquent enough, none of us want to be here, but for the good of the kingdom we are, so get up off your ass and quit playing games, people could very well die if you screw up here. We are the spear of this operation, the first point of contact.” he pinned the flap open, Lucy standing, stifling her nervousness to watch his next move, following after him as he beckoned them to follow once they were all on their feet. Lyon was hot on her heels, sticking close as they moved through the chaos of the base, following their unit commander to their position. She never even really saw the high command, a glimpse of someone she thought might be a general, but nothing else. 

The amount of people here had doubled, as had the horses and mounted units. Rather than putting her at ease though, it made her even more nervous. What were they doing here? Was the threat level this big? 

She clenched her hands tightly, forcing herself forward with each step, ignoring that nagging inkling of fear that bit at the heels of her mind.

This would be fine. She would be fine. There was no way she would stop here. She had her guild to protect, she had to produce that research to fulfill the deal she made because if she didn’t, they might draft more people from her guild. If she were to give up now, desert and run away, it would fall on her guild to fix, and she couldn't do that to them, she could never do that to them.

They were stationed at the front just like their commander said, looking back at the countless Fiore Soldiers at their back. She looked forward, far too conscious of the spears and soldiers at their backs as they moved forward.

She couldn’t call on Aquarius for this fight, an attack as wide as all of hers would wipe out the whole army. There were other options, she had lots of spirits with different skill sets, she would just have to see what was in store for them and make her choice then, but for now, she would be ready to shift into whatever star dress form would be needed. 

“Don’t be too nervous.” their commander spoke, smiling back at them as he watched Lyon anxiously look around, hands clenched so tight his knuckles had turned white. “We have a lot of people on our side.” he added “our chances are good, we know who we’re up against and we have a plan. There’s no one special on the opposing side. You guild wizards are our edge.” he set his sights on the pass they were approaching. The choke point that they would be waiting at, their reconnaissance units had spotted the enemy forces marching towards that point, they would be arriving soon.

“And the dog tags?” Lucy’s voice was sharp in the air as they came to a stop, the sound of shifting soldiers and the light clinking of armor stifling any silence as their commander stopped for a moment. 

“Not everyone makes it every time. I carry a spare in my breast pocket, just in case the ones on my neck get tossed” he admitted quietly, turning towards them. He was standing in front of her as he smiled. “There will be losses, I won’t lie to you, but we will make it. That is our mission, to stand and fight and make it out the other end alive.” 

She opened her mouth to respond. 

Her vision was consumed with the pure light before a single word could escape her, eyes squeezing shut as a deafening roar of pure destruction consumed her every sense, wind whipping, a split second passing before a heavy object bashed into her, her head slamming against the ground and her eyes rolling back. 

Her next conscious moments were hazy, trying to blink her eyes open as she felt around, feeling a hand beside her, the heavy weight still on top of her. 

“What-” she coughed, squinting, trying to adjust to normal light again as the blob in front of her cleared up. 

The hand she touched felt cold, a bit stiff. 

Her shaking gaze met the eyes above her, the eyes of her commander staring blankly at her, blood dripping down his face onto her cheek.

Her breaths came in short gasps, shoving him off with a jolting movement, feeling the stiffness of his chest as she looked around. The flaring pain in her leg was drowned out by the carnage laid out before her. Soldiers lay dead all across the field, the grass soaked with blood as creatures tore across the battlefield, a cackle sounding as explosions darted across every inch of the battlefield, from a source she couldn’t identify yet.

She trembled, gasping in air as her thin pupils turned to her commander. He was laid on his back now, hiding the worst of the carnage from the initial blast, but nothing could hide the smell of burnt flesh, or the way his feet and legs had been burnt to bone, flesh flaking off in burnt chunks, bloody blistered skin covering the flesh that hadn’t been blackened. She remembered his words, reaching out with a shaking hand, pulling the dog tags from his breast pocket.

She held it in trembling hands.

‘Roy Klein.’ She never asked his name before, it didn’t even really occur to her. Nothing did. She knew blearily what danger could come but this…

She felt overwhelmed, sitting next to Roy, to his corpse, holding his dog tags in shaking hands, feeling the searing pain in her leg as she watched a wretched creature rip through the battlefield, jaws clamping around the head of a soldier, ripping its head away with a paw pinning the helpless man’s body to the ground. 

The ripping sound was the most repulsive thing she’d ever heard, the most repulsive thing she’d ever seen as she saw spine tear from body, some ribs attached still in broken pieces, dripping blood as the creature dropped the spine and head, turning its gaze to its next victim.

“S-Somebody.” A crackling voice called out, Lucy froze. 

She mechanically turned, her gaze snagging on Lyon. His side was bleeding, his leg twisted in an unnatural way. His gaze looked hazy, barely conscious.

She was breathing heavily, her mind spinning as she grasped onto one thing, the only thing she’d been thinking about all this time. 

She needed to protect them. She needed to save who she could, even if that was just one person.

She shoved the dog tags into her pocket, dragging herself forward through the dirt and blood, staying low and out of the view of the rampaging beasts and soldiers taking on whatever Fiore soldiers remained.

“Lyon?” she touched his arm, earning a weak jolt, his eyes opening again, his body trembling as he opened his mouth.

“Lucy?” he asked, voice cracking softly, tears flowing down his cheeks. “I’m scared.” he choked out softly. She closed her eyes for a moment, assessing. She could bring out a spirit, but the deep sickness in her gut said no no they could never see this, not because of her. 

She grasped Lyon’s arm, dragging his body towards her, looping his arms around her neck and shoving his body over her back. 

She could feel it again, that familiar feeling of a body over her, just like Roy had been moments ago, but she could feel the beating heart of this one, feel that sickening burning hope that they would get out of here. 

He weakly grasped her shoulders as she dragged them across the ground, desperation flowing through her veins as she dug her fingers into the dirt and pulled them forward, slowly, steadily, evading notice in their slow escape as others ran and screamed, suffering fates much similar to Roy or that soldier she saw moments after she woke.

‘Please don't kill me, please I want to live’ she heard someone cry, the following crunch silencing those pleading, fearful words. 

She’d never known what it sounded like for a skull to be bitten in half, for brain to spill out and squelch on the tongue of the beast biting it. She now knew that sound well, it was all she was hearing, all she was seeing. Kill shots, skull crushing, the most efficient killing method for these strange, feral beasts. 

It felt like an eternity, dragging herself through the mud, over bloodied bodies, through their entrails and brain matter, allowing her mind and thoughts to numb in pursuit of the single goal of survival. 

She glanced over the field, assessing every moment, playing dead when anything walked by that wasn't already screaming, attracting the beasts to them for a feast like no other. 

Before she knew it she found herself in clean grass, no longer trampled to mud with a bloody, metallic taste to it. She waited, analyzing for a long moment before she slowly forced herself to her feet, dragging Lyon onto her back as she hobbled forward, stumbling and nearly falling. She didn’t look back to the battlefield, her heart thrumming in her chest and her throat tight as she forced down the trembling.

She felt it now, that deep regret, that wish that she should have just begged for a research position, should have defected and run across the border to start anew.

But when her mind lingered back to the guild, to Bisca and Macao and Romeo, to everyone else there, she felt guilty. Guilty for wanting to run away, all for her own sake, knowing they would die on these bloody fields, knowing objectively, she was the strongest of them left.

What would they have done here? Died , her mind supplied. 

They would have been the corpses she crawled over, her mind added. Nothing more than fodder for an unwinnable war.

She couldn’t let that happen, she couldn’t let her trembling heart tie her down. She couldn’t stop. 

She turned her gaze back to the battlefield, narrowing her eyes as she watched for a moment as a figure danced across the field, explosions following his every step as his laugh rang out. 

She turned back to where she was going, dragging Lyon’s taller form with her as she aimlessly hobbled forward. 

She wasn’t sure how long she walked, but eventually, her gaze met with some other similarly worse for wear soldiers carrying some of their own injured comrades.

“Where is our comanding officers?” the soldier shifted, his gaze faltering.

“They’re…. Gone. In the first wave. We’re regrouping at base, I think. It’s the only spot that makes sense.” he fumbled over his words. She scowled. Fuck. 

“Have any spare uninjured linger around the edges and tell the survivors to meet us there, we’ll plan from there how to approach this.” she stood up straighter, holding Lyon fully as her leg scream in pain.

The soldier startled, blinking.

“Plan? What plan? We don't even know what we’re going to do.” he stuttered. She glared down at him.

“Isn’t it fucking obvious?” she felt that burning feeling in her chest again, that rage bubbling up, that sickening feeling that only felt better when she saw Doma’s blood. “We’re going to plan how to kill every one of those bastards and put their heads on fucking pikes.” she sneered, forcing herself forward with a steadier gate, the group of soldiers left standing stunned as she moved ahead of them back to camp, letting that terror inside her fester into blistering rage. 

Lyon was still out cold when she made it back, dumping him off on the overwhelmed medical staff, securing her leg by bandaging it to a stick to steady the shifting bones before interrupting the arguing soldiers left, barely commanders of small sections of the army, all unsure who should decide the next move.

“Quit your bickering and get moving, or do we want this to be our new grave site?” she asked. The infantry commander scoffed.

“What the fuck are we supposed to do with what we have left? If you don’t have any ideas just fend for yourself.” he spat out. She glared back at him, with a venom she couldn’t imagine herself feeling.

“If you want to run and hide like a coward be my guest, but I won’t be. The mage with explosion magic needs to be dealt with first, then the creatures. I’ve been watching their movements, we have enough men to take them on." Many had been killed in the battle, she watched as she dragged herself across, watched the way they moved, the spots they protected, and the way they attacked. She watched that explosion mage too.

It was ingrained in her mind the ways the explosions separated bodies and incinerated flesh.

One of the other men shifted, hesitating for a moment.

“Where do you want us?” the infantry commander balked, eyes wide as he looked to his fellow officer. “Fuck off, she’s the last leader like person we have.” he waved him off. “I want to make it out of this alive.” he spoke resolutely. “Can you do that?” he asked. Lucy paused for a moment, hesitating. She met his gaze, and spoke without hesitation. 

“We will survive.” she replied. Those words felt like the final strike in this coffin containing her called a war. 

The rest of the battle felt like a blur. She shouted orders and directed soldiers to new positions. They fought tooth and nail, and at the end of it they stood in the blood of their enemies. Any joy was short and born of adrenaline, but still there was joy. 

A long silence came after, their comandless base coasting by waiting for reinforcements to send in new generals and proper commanders, not twelve man squads that barely knew how to work a team. 

She remembered what she wrote to the guild after she sat down for the first time in a week though.

‘All is going well so far, a bit boring but I’ll manage, don’t worry too much about me,

Lucy’

She leaned back in her chair, staring at the tent ceiling.

This was her life now, there was no choice but to surge forward, towards researching how to kill Zeref and Acnologia. There was no other option, she had to become excellent, the best. She had to protect what scraps of connections she had left. The guild, Lyon too, a friendly face suffering just like her, able to cry and express how scared he was while she packed it tight inside and just moved. 

Because she had to move.

If she stopped moving, she couldn’t protect her guild from this. 

Chapter Text

- April X791 -

No one had seen Natsu in a week. Happy had taken to drearily hovering around Gray and the others after a day of looking and waiting at their home for him to come back. Erza had been looking for him for a while. She would have asked the others but it didn’t feel like the time or place, everyone was already suffering enough.

Natsu spent his days trying not to be found, avoiding Happy, avoiding everyone. 

He spent the first night in Lucy’s home, laying in her bed, curled up under the comforter, pretending the heat of his breath, the growing heat under the blanket, was her right beside him, like she always had been, like she should have been now.

Love.

He’d been thinking about that word a lot since Bisca said Lucy was dead, since she told them that Lucy loved him. ‘I love you, it’s okay to move on’ he could see it in his mind when he closed his eyes, hear her voice saying it to him, feel her gently touching his face as she said it in his dreams right before he woke in a cold sweat and fled from the house, regretting ever coming there, regretting seeing how dusty everything was, how unused the home was. Even beyond a year, it was clear this hadn’t been her home for many years before then. Before….

Love was a funny word, it felt like a sharp pain in his chest. It felt like a tightening of his lungs and a breathless begging for one last chance, to do everything over, to run like hell, to let go of their hands and run, make it to those boats and have just been with her.

Been by her side for all of this, helped her feel less alone. 

God, she must have been so lonely out there away from the guild, so scared. He felt scared now, thinking of the future without her. Thinking of what their team would be like with her gone.

Seeing Happy hurt now, he couldn’t look at him without imagining Lucy’s smile, patting his head as she comforted him, assuring him things would work out. In a short year it was like they were a family, and suddenly a part of that- A vital part- was violently ripped away. 

He settled himself on the steps leading up to her statue, staring back at the even, unfeeling brown eyes that stared back at him, and just like Erza he found himself melding Lucy onto that… thing, whatever it was. 

“I’m sure you missed Happy a lot, I’m sorry we couldn’t be here till now. It’ll be okay now, I’m sure of it.” he mumbled softly, a hand resting on Lucy’s head as she stared blankly back at him.

It went on like this for days. When he felt hungry he ignored it and continued to talk, hiding away whenever someone else came to visit. 

Food made him queasy. It reminded him of the day they met, she treated them to a meal for breaking that love curse thing, a charm spell? He wasn’t too focused on it at the time. It had been a long journey that sucked up all their travel money and she seemed like a godsend the moment she offered to pay.

He noticed on the way back how pretty she was when she smiled so brilliantly as he offered to make her dream come true of joining their guild. She sparkled so brilliantly in the light, she was so beautiful when she smiled showing off her guild mark. 

It had to be back then when he fell in love. There was no other way to describe how he started to feel about her even back then, how he watched her every move and when he looked at her the world always seemed to be brighter. 

After a week his energy was drained, sat next to Lucy, leaned into her warm fur when a hand rested gently on his shoulder. Despite his nose being buried in her fur the creature only faintly smelled of Lucy, but that was okay, he’d take what he could get. 

He lifted his gaze tiredly, meeting Erza’s sad eyes staring back at him. He wanted to cry again, but the energy to do so was long gone. 

“I’m sorry.” he mumbled softly. They had probably been worried all this time, trying to find him, wondering where he went without saying anything. 

“Never apologize for your grief.” Erza replied firmly, taking a seat next to him, her gaze lingering on Lucy for a moment before turning to the sky.

“When I look up there I wonder if it’s something that connects us. There must have been something that made them make her statue like that, basking in the sun, so peaceful.” her voice was quiet now, contemplatively somber. Natsu glanced back to the statue, taking in her peaceful expression again, enjoying the sun that would always beat down on the stone with every new day.

“Maybe she wanted some peace after it all.” Natsu uttered softly. “Maybe she wanted to feel the sky and be calm again.” he imagined Lucy and war and the ideas couldn’t combine properly. His mind always stopped in its tracks imagining the blood and gore she must have seen to spur her forward so fast like Lyon said. 

“Go home Natsu, Happy is waiting for you.” She spoke softly.

“I want to.” He admitted, staring up at the sky. “Her scent was faint there, she visited a long time ago. She sat on the couch, laid on the bed, I think she cried, I can smell the salt. I’m…. scared it’ll be gone when I go back, replaced with Happy, and me again.” she held his hand in hers, squeezing tightly.

“I’m scared too.” Erza admitted, pursing her lips as a tear trickled down her cheek. “But she’d want that step forward, she wants that.” she reached over, smoothing a hand over Lucy’s head. Natsu turned his gaze to look at her too, his lip quivering ever so slightly.

“Okay.” he didn’t reply further, staggering to his feet and walking off. He wasn’t sure if he was going home, but he had to get away from here for now. Just for now. It felt all too overwhelming to think about. 

Erza stayed there, petting Lucy, smoothing a hand over her head as she looked at the sky.

“I’m glad to see you again.” her pupils thinned, her gaze snapping down towards the path. Jellal stood there with a faint smile, holding a bundle of pink flowers in his left hand. He set them down gently in front of Lucy’s grave stone before he walked up the steps towards them.

“What are you…” 

“Lyon passed along the word that you were all back and looking for some answers.” he mumbled softly. “I figured I’d visit here first then go to the guild and offer some insight. No one wanted to hear much about it before. It hurt too much to want to know the details.” he explained.

“What was she like?” the question felt overused already, her voice cracking slightly as she asked.

“She reminded me of you in my memories of you returning to the tower after all that time.” he admitted. “She had an armor wrapped around her heart, a trembling child wrapped up and hidden away securely, so that no one would know how scared she was. I’m sure if I didn’t know you I never would have guessed. The cracks in her armor were nearly nonexistent. Little moments, little comments. A hint of regret here and there, a little pause before she charged forward.” his gaze lingered on the horizon. Staring back at Magnolia from the steps of the statue you could see straight to the guildhall, Natsu’s home nestled in the woods leading up to it, easily visible from this vantage point.

Erza held her face in her hands, not reacting as Jellal sat beside her. 

“She was strong beyond measure. She saw fighting that war and protecting her family, protecting Fiore for when you all would return. She swore you would have a home to return to, even if she was not there to see it.” Erza’s throat felt tight, her hands trembling as she clenched them together tightly. 

“Why do Aquarius and her other spirits seem clueless about all this?” 

Leo was around the guild, but seemed as confused about the war thing as everyone else, and Aquarius offered no answers when they often came to see her and asked questions. 

“Because they are.” Jellal answered evenly, her eyes widening as she lifted them to look at him. “Lyon explained it to me like this. When they faced that first battle, that first sea of carnage, it changed her. I know she has never summoned a single spirit in battle, not for the war. When I asked her the same question she told me they were the friends she wanted to protect as well. She refused to drag them into a war that was her problem. There was only one time I saw her call on her spirits.” he admitted.

“When?”

“Her final battle.” he answered softly. He interlaced their fingers gently, squeezing her hand.

“How did she-” Erza stopped herself, squeezing her eyes shut tightly for a moment.

“Acnoligia appeared after we defeated Zeref in a drawn out battle. The mass sight of death had drawn him there. She summoned Loke, Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn.” he looked up at the sky, closing his eyes for a moment. “They never fought though, Capricorn had grabbed me before I could blink, I could hear Lyon screaming at Taurus to put him down. I watched as she fought, as hard as a human could fight against something like that. Lucy won in the end, fending him off, but the cost was too great. Her injuries were grave and her body was giving out. We said our goodbyes to her before they brought her home to the guild to die. We weren’t allowed to go with her, given the risks were still high and many straggler teams were trying to take revenge on our units.” he looked to Erza.

“If I had to describe her to someone, Lucy was the most brilliant general we could have had, the strongest and the bravest, and the most afraid. That’s part of what made her strong. Her fear for what would happen if she lost, her fear for the future and if she would make it to see you all again. She hoped she would, but she knew she probably wouldn’t. War was like that. It took a lot from all of us, but for her it took everything I recognized from those brief times I saw her by your side.” Erza felt like she was choking on the air she was breathing, holding his hand in her own trembling one.

“Did….did it take her smile too?” the question felt silly, almost comical to ask right now at such a serious moment, but she needed to know.

“Most of the time it did” he admitted. “She rarely smiled, and when she did it was only a fleeting reaction, or to comfort someone else. She always told me and Lyon that you all would be coming back, but sometimes I saw the doubt.” he hesitated for a moment.

“I saw it again that day in the final battlefield right before she took that fatal blow. That brilliant smile she wore back then when she was with your team, I think more than anything, more than her fear, she was okay with dying if it meant seeing you all again. She fought violent and strong, for everything she believed in, and she got to die surrounded by her family. I can’t think of a better end for her given the situation.” he wrapped a gentle arm around Erza, hugging her tightly as she cried.

“I made a promise to her too, for a while I thought I’d never have to pay up.” he admitted. Erza sniffled softly, pulling away to meet his gaze with a teary eye.

“What promise?” her voice was hoarse, her shoulders shaking.

“I promised her I’d tell you I love you when I saw you again, and to pass on that she was a great matchmaker for making this happen.” a soft sob of a laugh escaped Erza’s mouth, a giggle fighting its way past her sorrows as she smiled through the tears.

“That sounds like her.” she admitted, leaning into his arms as he wrapped them around her. “How’d she know?” 

“Let’s just say a hint of snooping and matchmaking senses and leave it at that before I get in trouble with her ghost.” Another soft, broken laugh tore from Erza’s lips, pressing her face into his chest as the tears continued to flow.

She felt such a strange mix of sadness and happiness right now.

“Where will you go after this?” she asked softly.

“Here. I joined the guild after she died. It only felt right after everything.” He admitted “I was just coming back from a job, I promise, I’m not going anywhere.” he held her tightly as she cried into his chest, trying to comfort her to the best of his abilities, knowing nothing could truly fix this. 

Chapter Text

Chapter Song: Doomsday by Lizzy McAlpine

- September X784, Six Months into the War -

She contemplated all of it for a while. It took three months for her to find some leads and chase them down like a mad dog. She had to carry far too many books wherever she went thanks to her studies. With each promotion more men were stationed under her, so at least she could have some others help with the load as they moved from station to station, her only consistent team was her hand picked one that she promoted with her, so they could stick together as her personal task force.

She spent any time she wasn't training researching, growing more hesitant as the answers became clearer.

“What have you gathered?” Doma was looking at her. She remembered the last time they met, the blood running down his face, his deep scowl, now turned tired and worn as he furrowed his brows at the intricate diagrams on the papers she had presented them with.

“Zeref is a non issue, after working out how his death curse works all we’ll need is to get close enough to enact the outlined plan. If followed properly the demons will be severed from his power as well. We’ll no longer be able to kill them with the books but it also prevents anyone from making themselves stronger with the books after Zeref is dead. A fool could pull it off.” she leaned back in her seat a bit, meeting Warrod’s gaze dead on.

“And Acnologia?” Warrod asked.

“The method of defeating Acnologia requires a powerful holder wizard. This wizard will die, the spell used will consume as much of Acnologia’s power as it can before sealing itself inside the mage. How much is consumed will depend on the strength of their magical power. After it’s done the human body will immediately begin to break down under the pressure and be consumed by Acnologia’s immense magical energy. The wizard will die and Acnologia will be weakened.” she answered evenly, staring down at them with an analyzing gaze.

Wolfheim sighed heavily, tossing the papers forward. “Why even bring us these results then? Holder type mages are rare, you’re the only one of sizable strength in this war, we cant just tell someone to die for us, no one would agree.” he shook his head.

“I’ve handled that already.” Warrod flinched, standing abruptly as he frowned.

“You don’t mean-” Her gaze didn’t waver. 

“If I am to commit to this cause to my death, I have conditions. My pay will grow ten fold, it will be sent to my guild every month without fail for as long as the guild exists, independent of my death. You will cover their expenses, you will not complain, any talks of disbandment will forever be put to rest.” she placed a stack of papers in front of Doma. “These are my conditions, to ensure this will happen I will work my hardest, but I expect your effort in return as well.” She was watching them closely as Warrod roughly sat back in his seat.

“Are… you sure of this?” Doma looked up from the contract, his gaze wavering, unsure. It looked almost alien resting on his face. 

“I will not let my family’s home be turned to rubble.” she answered instead. “I will die for this war, but if you sign this, you will owe me far beyond my death.” she tapped it lightly.

“If you give us time-” Michello started, jolting as Doma ran his pen across the paper, signing his name at the bottom.

“You won’t read it first?” she asked him.

“Whatever you’re asking for is worth the cost. Even if the others disagree I will ensure the terms of the contract myself. In these short months you’ve proven yourself a warrior and an asset to figuring out how to annihilate our greatest threats. You would not have brought this to us if there were other options.” his confidence in her felt odd, unfounded considering she started researching this after she had made her promises.

“How long have you been working on finding these solutions?” Org was looking over the papers, humming softly as he analized the magic circles she’d painstakingly put together.

“Six months.” Warrod hummed softly.

“Makarov was a close friend of mine, something as big as research to kill Zeref and Acnologia naturally would have come up sometime sooner.” Doma sighed heavily.

“Why lie? Just to join a war?” Wolfheim shook his head.

“For my family.” her answer was simple and flat, Wolfheim stilling. “Regardless, I’ve held up my end of the deal, you have exactly what I promised, and more, you have my life.” she scanned them silently for a moment. “I must go inform my team of the new plan, as discussed in the documents Acnologia will be avoided at all costs until the war is mostly handled and Zeref has been killed. Until then, we will continue managing mass death locations and avoid drawing him near. Doma, I will write my last wishes and send them to you soon to join this file.” she stood, leaving as swiftly as she had entered the room. She had some time to think on the journey back to the frontline. 

About what to say, to her team, who had already lost so much. 

There was little consolation for another death, but at the very least this death would mean something. Something more than just another death to add to the growing numbers as time went on and on. It would mark an end of some kind, she hoped it would at least.

She grappled for a while as she refined the magic, was she okay with dying for all this? Would she be okay if this was it? If this was the last thing she did in her life?

Would she be okay with dying before she saw them again? Before they came back? 

She closed her eyes again, letting out a shaky breath. 

There was no sense in this war, no sanity to grapple to anymore. 

There were two possibilities, either the rest of her family would come back some day, or they were dead. In the first case, she would be rather sad to miss their return, but….

If they were dead, wouldn’t it be nice to join them? 

She entered the tent, Jura grinning widely as he saw her.

“How’d it go?” Jellal shifted a bit nervously, Lyon giving him a short eye roll.

“It’s Lucy I’m sure it went well.” he replied. They quieted down after a moment longer of no response from her, trying to take in her decisively blank expression.

“The new plan has formed. After Zeref is killed and his forces thwarted, I will be tasked with weakeneing Acnologia with black magic. This will kill me.”  the silence was defaning. 

“Tasked? They’re making you do this?” Lyon’s eyes were wide.

“No, I offered the suggestion.” Jura’s hands clenched tightly.

“Lucy this is madness, you have to reconsider.” He pleaded. She closed her eyes, refusing to look at them as she opened her mouth again.

“The decision is made. I’m okay with this ending.” She opened her eyes, Meeting Jellal’s gaze.

“What- what about when they come back and you’re not here?” he apealed to her, the “they” in this equation didn’t really need to be explained. They all knew who he was talking about, 

“I’ll have to send my regards and apology in advance, and wait for them at the end.” she answered. Her chest felt heavy, but she couldn't bring herself to stop this path she was walking down. Six months along had already worn her down. How many years till it took everything from her? Would she even be someone they wanted to meet by the end of it all? She figured she might not be. They might not even recognize her by the end of this all. The Lucy they knew was nice and caring, she had never taken a life before.

She looked at her hands now and only saw the blood of countless people baked into her skin, the weight of her enemies, the weight of the comrades deaths that rested squarely on her shoulders.

“Lucy please, you don’t have to die too.” Lyon pleaded weakly. 

“This is necessary.” she replied evenly. “For the sake of Fiore, for the home of my family, and for you all, I am willing to take on that burden. I only ask that you move on with your lives after this is all over. Do not spend your days in grave yards thinking of what could have been. Mourn your comrades and walk forward bravely.” 

“You’re planning to die and for us to live?” Jura laughed a sad, heavy laugh.

“I will ensure your lives.” she replied evenly, smirking slightly. “You’d think I’d let you flunk your duties so easily? I’ll haunt your ass if you start crying for me.” Jellal couldn't help but let a laugh slip out, holding his face in his hands. 

“So what? This is it?” Lyon mumbled softly. Maybe they should have reacted more, but after six months death felt like a normalcy. It was an everyday part of their lives, something inescapable. There was no way they’d escape it forever, what did it matter if it came a bit sooner? It was kind of nice actually, being able to plan it out like this. She’d have a few years left at least before it all had to come crashing down, assuming things continued to go well and they kept gaining ground on the front lines.

“Yeah, this is it. Now go get ready, we have some work to get ready for. The front line never rests.” she shooed them all away, returning to her quarters. She sat down at the desk roughly, staring at the paper in front of her. 

She thought back to what she told Doma and picked up a pen.

What she wanted after her death huh? What a wonderfully morbid thought, to think of everything being taken care of by others after she died, she wouldnt have to lift a finger, not that she’d be able to anyways. 

She tapped her pen against the table, starting the list

• Only bring pink flowers to my grave

That one felt a bit silly, but she let it be, trying to think. What did she want after she died? Who would get her things? God, her things. Fuck. All her research and her papers and the draft notices. 

• Bisca will receive all my things, she must be instructed to hide them and only show them to others if absolutely necessary. 

Bisca would respect her wishes she was sure. She felt bad for putting this burden on her, but there was no other way to go abou it. One person had to know, and Bisca could keep a secret if she knew how important it was that she did. She leaned back in her chair, closing her eyes. Where did she want to be buried? It had to be a good spot, she’d be there for some time. She didn’t want to end up in a graveyard she knew, she had to consider her options. She looked at the map in front of her and decisively marked a spot with an X. 

• There’s a hill that overlooks Natsu’s home and the Guild hall, I’d like to be buried facing them there. Fill the field with yellow and pink flowers, I don’t care what kind.

She folded up the map and slipped it into the envelope, turning back to her list again, furrowing her brows. 

Her things were handled, she had a burial spot, her weirdly specific flower color choices that she was sure everyone would figure out at a simple glance. What else was there? 

Oh, right, a funeral.

• If my body is in good condition hold a viewing, if it’s not palatable to look at, closed casket is preferred. No big procession, only people I know personally can attend. 

There was the matter of her name too, she was a general under some fake title with no recognized name right now, to keep her guild from worrying with all the articles going about. She wasn’t sure how much they’d want to know about her life at war, but she would make it acessible at least.

• My name will be revealed to the public in relation to my current alias.

She stared at that page for a long moment, contemplating. Everything was starting to set in. The conditions she wrote out painstakingly, assuming her guild would get all her benefits and much more, making sure the council would bankroll the searches to check on where Tenrou once was. She was writing her last wishes already, trying to decide how her body would be handled, the flowers people would bring to her grave. 

She took a deep breath and wrote the final item

• Do not make a fuss of my death in Magnolia. Anywhere else you can do whatever you like, but in Magnolia keep anything minimal. If you must build any memorial, place it by my grave where no one goes. I do not want a daily reminder for them that I am dead. 

She sealed the letter, writing the adress and grabbing her bag. Before the ink had even fully dried she had dropped it off with the soldier on mail duty before following her team to the horses. They had places to be, thoughts of death and what to do after were a leisure she couldn’t afford too much thought to. 

At the very least she hoped these measures made the pain less when the time came.