Chapter Text
When Lyf woke up the first thing they realized was that they weren't dead. The second thing they noticed was Dagr's voice, threatening to find a way to stop them from almost dying even if it included wrapping Lyf up in somehow bulletproof bubble wrap. They weren't sure why it had to be bulletproof, they hadn't gotten shot this time.
Lyf opened their eyes before moving to sit up, the motion caught Dagr's attention.
"Lyfrassir Edda if you try to get off that bed-"
"I won't."
They'd watched Dagr when she was concerned about them and Elvi when they were injured before. They knew he'd found a way to tuck Elvi into bed so that she was stuck when they were younger and that she'd do it to them if he thought they'd get up and get themselves even more injured. They wouldn't worry him, plus they were a bit too tired to want to get up at the moment.
"Good. What the hell happened?"
"I don't know."
"You-"
Raphaella cleared her throat from where she sat next to Lyf. There were tears in her eyes, a frown on her face and her eyes seemed to scan Lyf for injuries every few moments.
"I might know. I didn't think it could happen- it always sounded like a warning, but. Lyf, love, while you were out did you hear anything?"
Lyf looked at Raphaella, at the grief in her eyes.
They nodded.
"You're free. It sounded like Bog, distorted but-"
Raphaella nodded, her hand holding theirs tightly.
"He's dead, and with no Watcher unscorned who holds your name you're free."
Dead.
Bertie was dead.
Was it because of them?
Did their escape cause his death? Who had killed him?
Was it their fault?
Dagr's voice pulled them out of their spiral.
"Explain."
~~~~🪶~~~~
Pearl set her sword in her scabbard and ran to Gem, pulling her in her arms. Gem was free, she was going to die, that's what they said. She'd die if not let out properly. Here Gem was, in her arms bound to die in them.
"Gem."
"Pearl."
"I can't lose you Gem. You can't die on me. Not here, not like this."
She couldn't lose her.
For so long she'd been trying to do all she could so that they'd free Gem, yet here she was holding Gem as she slowly died in her arms.
"Then we leave. I'm going to die Pearl, everyone dies. The only way I don't die here is to leave this place. We can go home."
"Home? After all this time?"
"Where else do we have to go? Where else would we go? How many years did they take from me? They won't also take my home, Pearl."
"They took you from it."
She took her from it.
She was why Gem was here.
"Then you can help bring me home."
"You want me to go with you?"
"Always. Come on. I won't die here Pearl. Either you come with me or you let me go."
Pearl looked at Gem, at this woman who she's been wanting nothing but to fight beside again. Pearl let Gem go, taking her sword and handed it to the warrior.
"You'll need a weapon."
Gem raised an eyebrow at Pearl, a challenge.
"And you?"
Pearl spotted an axe on the ground, likely the thing that the Canary had used to free Gem. She picked it up, smiling at Gem as she did so.
"We should go."
"Right. Lead the way."
~~~~🪶~~~~
Raphaella did her best to explain it all, to tell Dagr, Elvi and Lyf about how when the Watchers in charge of a Listener die that Listener is free. It had been thought to be a myth for so long, but here Lyf was, free, the purple that had been shining through their feathers just barely was gone, replaced with a rainbow sheen, the purple almost snuffed out, as if the Bifrost took what the Watchers left behind.
There was silence for a few moments after Raphaella finished explaining. Silence that seemed to fill the room and choke her. The only thing keeping her from leaving or breaking down was Lyf's hand in hers.
"Easier to shoot them if they can't see me."
Raphaella burst into a laugh.
Right, Lyf's been spending too much time around Tim and Jonny then.
"It is, yes."
Raphaella could feel Dagr's stare even without being able to see their face.
"Lyfrassir Edda if you get yourself shot again-"
"I can't get shot if they don't see me before I shoot them."
"Lyf."
"I'll be careful."
"You better be careful. If I have to patch up a bullet wound I'm wrapping you in bulletproof bubble wrap."
"I don't think that's a thing Dagr."
Raphaella smiled, that could be a good idea.
"I'm sure I could find a way to make some."
"Raph-"
Dagr interrupted Lyf, a smile on her face.
"Good. We'll need it with these two insisting on doing things like jumping off of cliffs and shooting things that kill Gods."
Raphaella nodded, plans for how to create it already about to bubble over.
"I will be in my lab if you need me. I have a few hundred experiments to do with that."
Raphaella left the medbay with a kiss to Lyf's forehead, determination to do what she could to ensure they stayed safe and a horrific peace knowing that Bertie was dead, that she'd no longer mourn a living man. She knew how to mourn the dead. Mourning the living that you couldn't see or help? That hurt, almost more than mourning the dead did.
At least you couldn't fail or doom the already dead.
~~~~🪶~~~~
Before they left the room Gem grabbed the papers from Bertie's hand, soaked in blood as they were, they seemed to be letters. Maybe she could give them to whoever he'd intended them for somehow. They didn't deserve to be there, unread because of her.
He had tried to save her, the least she could do was find his people, whoever he had left and give them his final words to them. She slipped the letters into her coat and her hand into Pearl's free hand and they began to run. They'd get out.
They had to.
She'd been stuck for so long. She wanted to see the stars again, to feel the sun on her face, to feel the wind in her hair and swim freely. She's been trapped so long.
Freedom, finally handed to her.
Freedom she had to live to see.
Freedom she wouldn't truly have until she was standing in the sun again or dead.
Gem ran by Pearl's side when a voice called out, loud, angry, deadly.
"Where do you think you're headed? Nowhere I hope."
And then a snap.
And Gem was holding her throat, an arrow stuck through it.
So this was where she died? Here, unable to escape?
Is this what freedom gives you? Death? Is death the only way she's free?
At least in her final moments she was with her Pearl. At least she had moments outside of the tank.
She couldn't call for Pearl.
She didn't need to. Pearl screamed, threw her axe and picked up Gem, running and begging her to stay awake as her eyes slipped closed.
She wanted to speak, but she couldn't.
Maybe Pearl would return her body to the Ocean.
~~~~🪶~~~~
It didn't take long for the crew to learn that Lyf was awake, or for Tim to scoop them into a bridal carry and bring them back to their room, siting that the medical bay was too small for cuddles.
They wanted to tell her. They did.
They couldn't.
They didn't.
Bertie was dead, they wouldn't have her mourn him again.
They wouldn't tell Tim all that Bertie did for them and Raphaella only to them tell him that Bertie was dead now, that she'd never see him again. That xe couldn't have saved him.
So instead they hid who Bertie was.
They told him of Bog, of the man with wings as golden as his heart who helped them escape, of his bravery.
They couldn't tell her that Bog was Bertie, that they were saved by her dead lover, dead once more, but they could tell xem of what Bertie did. Even if Tim would never know it was Bertie who did those things.
Part way through their story Ashes appeared.
"You need to stop scaring us, phoenix."
"I don't have phoenix wings, Ashes."
"No, but you come back from the ashes like one."
Ashes curled themself around Lyf protectively, holding them close like anything could kill them at any moment.
"I'm okay, Ashes."
"You better be, or I'm going to help Raphaella and Dagr cover you in kevlar bubble wrap."
Lyf sighed, though their smile shined through their attempt at a frown. It was nice being cared for, even if the crew was a touch protective. That would settle with time, they were sure of it.
~~~~🪶~~~~
Pearl saw nothing but red. Her friend, the man who had called her someone like a sister to him, who had mourned her brother with her had just killed Gem. Shot her in cold blood.
Pearl screamed, throwing the axe at him. She watched it lodge itself into his skull and picked up Gem. He could die alone on the floor for all she cared. She needed to get Gem out of here.
Gem who was dying.
"You can't die Gem, you can't leave me. Come on, we were going to escape this together. Come on Gem, you can't leave me. You can't. Come on. Keep your eyes open."
Pearl ran with Gem in her arms to the ship she used whenever she left the station, ran towards it before powering it on and begging it to speed up. She couldn't lose Gem. She couldn't.
She would.
She knew it.
She hated it.
~~~~🪶~~~~
Tim held Lyf as they slept, the others slowly finding their way in to check in on Lyf and even at times join in on the cuddle pile. He thought he'd lost them.
She'd been terrified watching as they fell, thinking this was how they lost them. Not a bullet wound, not a death that was gory and horrific, but playing the guitar while they played their cello next to her, smiling as they hummed the song along with her. He almost lost them in a moment that was meant to be happy and peaceful.
The music room wasn't meant to be dangerous. They weren't supposed to die. Not on Aurora, not with her there to keep them safe.
She couldn't lose them yet.
Having them here in his arms, asleep and safe was one of the few things that he could ask for.
They couldn't die here.
They'd be okay.
She'd ensure it.
She'd keep them safe.
He had to.
Xe couldn't lose anyone else.
~~~~🪶~~~~
It had been a week since their collapse and Lyf was barely allowed to leave their nest. They'd tried to sneak out several times, been caught and wrapped in blankets and wings and for some reason, bubble wrap.
They were going to go stir crazy, no matter how lovely the crew was. They needed to get up and doing something, anything.
Surprisingly it was Jonny who saved them from going insane.
He took one look at Lyf's face and huffed before waving them over as he left.
"Come on, Edda. I need ya help."
Tim tried to stop him, worried and not wanting Lyf out of her sight.
"Jonny. They-"
"They've been couped up for a fuckin week Tim. They're gonna go crazy. They'll be fuckin fine. Lyf. Come on."
Lyf followed Jonny, curious as to what his plans were and thankful for having any reason to not be in their room for another day.
Jonny led them to the kitchen and silently began to get out ingredients, passing them a few recipe books. They didn't need to speak, not much. It was nice, baking while Jonny cooked, having a reason to be out of their room for just a bit.
Maybe things would be nice and calm. Or they could hope.
~~~~🪶~~~~
Pearl wasn't sure how long it was before someone answered her pleas for help from the radio the ship had.
"Help, please, my girlfriend is injured and I think she may be dead and- help. Someone. Anyone."
"This is Doctor Carmilla from The Silvana, you said you have someone injured on your ship?"
"I. I think she's dead. I-"
"Why don't you come dock on my ship dear and we'll get this all sorted out? What's your name?"
Name.
Name. Right. She needed to give a name.
"Pearl."
"Okay Pearl, we'll get this all sorted out. Don't worry."