Chapter Text
I didn’t usually take the long route when running errands, but the weather was unusually pleasant today. Despite that, my feet already started to hurt as it were, and I remembered how I didn’t like walking for the sake of it.
Some of the streets I walked through today had remained a mystery, hidden all my life. How come I never discovered them? Or so I thought at first, before remembering this was Tokyo. This never before seen playground that I bumped into found itself with a few kids playing, although I wasn't sure if sitting outside with a smartphone counts as ‘playing in the playground’. But if it did, I wouldn’t have looked too out of place, either?
At any rate, I beelined there. Looking back now, it was a weird feeling to imagine myself not having a phone to instantly message friends, or search something up.
One of the corners in the playground was lonely enough that I found it to be a good match for me, and I decided to sit down on the swing while appreciating it. Frankly, the rusty metal where I was supposed to hold onto looked too dodgy, but I didn’t plan on being adventurous today. If I wanted to pat myself on the back for something, I’d say that going out of my way to find something new was already that adventure.
Speaking of, I wanted to reach for my phone when I realized how hard it was – I had the heavy grocery bags in my hands, and my phone was in my back pocket. Maybe if I’d moved for college this would be acceptable – for and by myself.
Holding all the heavy bags with one hand until it burned a bright red that might as well have been blood, I managed to slide it out of my back pocket.
Lately, all my in-person friendships had become names on a screen, and the size of the list I saw in front of me would've shocked my younger self. My most recent conversation was with Manaka, dating yesterday when she texted me because she couldn’t sleep out of anxiety.
“How are things?”
She was finally moving in with Midori for college. The word finally, of course, was in regards to moving in with Midori, and not about college itself. It should’ve been obvious to anyone that looked in their general direction, but maybe I was different. I had more experience than most in walking this path, and it’d greeted me with enough of its thorns that I could never stop looking down.
Maybe our biggest difference was how predictable they were, moving last minute and panicking the whole time.
Behind the screen, the kids still played and ran about, but what was more notable was actually the trees: spring was here, and now they once again had leaves to rustle. I’d come to believe as true that many good things happened in winter, but a side of me longed for the seasonal warmth, possibly from happy memories from past springs and summers, but none come to mind now.
When would the cherries blossom? My curiosity made my fingers reach for the web search icon when Manaka replied:
“I’m tired. SOS. Unpacking is hard.”
I couldn’t help but smile at her message, though in a very different way from Touko’s. There was something about her that just transpired even across the screen, as far apart as we were. If I were in a game show and had to blind guess which messages belonged to Manaka, I’d probably go home with the trophy.
“Ask Midori.”
“Sayaka, are you for real? She’s right here unpacking her own stuff!”
It was obviously a joke, but she was probably too busy to multitask that.
“Sorry, I’ll let you figure it out.”
A part of me wanted to move out just to see how it actually felt, but, at the same time, I couldn’t imagine a life outside the Saeki residence. That’s simply how things stood right now, and that was the end of my fantasizing.
Suddenly, my phone vibrated in my hands. To my surprise, it was actually Midori calling.
“Hi.”
“Sayaka, how are you doing?”
“I’m great, I–”
“Why did you call her?!”
Manaka’s voice was as loud as if she was the one calling me. Somehow, both things were expected: her being loud, and calling me.
“Oh, you’re on voice, ok?” Midori seemed to move away from the phone and I heard something scratching on the other side. Were they unpacking or tearing walls down?
“You two really want to live as close as possible…”
“Turn that up, I can’t hear her.”
To be fair, I couldn’t hear Manaka very well either, except that I was on the other side of that noisy line.
“Sheesh, there you go. Sorry, what’d you say?”
“Nevermind.” I shook my head as if they could see me. I hadn’t met them in a while, although at times it seemed like they didn’t need anything else in the other but each other.
It was admirable, really, and there’ve been times where I felt jealous – until something close to that happened around me: I still remembered fearing this happening with Touko and Koito-san. However, even as inseparable…
At any rate, I pushed my feet on the ground, gently swaying back and forth.
“I’m so jealous that you don’t have to move. You’re lucky, Sayaka.”
Midori’s voice was crystal clear in comparison.
“Tell me about it!” Manaka said from a distance, making me have to guess her words.
“Is it? You two seem to be having so much fun.”
“Oh maybe you’re onto something. Right, Midori?”
“Right! Sayaka, you’ve always been really smart.”
Had I been chasing the wrong type of ‘smart’ the whole time? I certainly knew one thing: this was a first – being praised for stating what’s out in the world for everyone to see. At times, I saw my young, denying self in them.
“It feels novel, doesn’t it?” I continued, giving the swing another push while I clutched to the bags. “Because if you still lived at home, what’s the real difference between school and college?”
“Wait, that’s true.”
“See, Midori, I told you she’s smart.”
“Ouch! You–”
“Ehehe, sorry, I got caught up in the moment.”
The swing stopped again and only the leaves moved now, being light enough to sway with the wind. All in all, this was a great backdrop for the conversation, but I still should’ve probably headed home before late.
“It sounds like you two have a lot to do, and so do I. We’ll talk again soon, right?”
Just how I was equally hopeful about cherries blossoming despite their inevitability, I asked the question for which the answer was more comforting than it was unknown.
“Of course!”
“Yeah, for sure.”
Being in a call and getting two responses to everything I said was a weird feeling, but it only strengthened in my head how close Manaka and Midori were. I couldn’t remember any other pair doing this before, although I could easily imagine it: If I suggested it back at the council room (the only place that came to mind), Touko’s eyes would’ve sparkled and she’d jump in place, trying not to look over excited, and then Koito-san would’ve immediately shut down the idea for being too corny, like a bad romance movie.
And I couldn’t blame her, but the thought just made me want to witness it for myself. Maybe if I asked Kanou-san to write this…
“Alright, you two take care.”
“Bye bye!” They said, perfectly in sync.
Even through the tiny speaker, it was easy to forget how quiet my surroundings were compared to them. The contrast itself painted a picture, in which Koito-san was the anxious, little leaves and I was her wind.
If so, maybe Touko was a storm?
Manaka and Midori, Touko, Koito-san, and even Miyako-san. The little differences in all my relationships surely could tell something about me that maybe one of those quiz sites held the answer for. Or maybe not, and this was just Touko whispering over my shoulder after letting myself get carried away in high school.
Though now she’s not here to whisper anything. Would I still listen? I couldn’t say for sure. The questions that occupied my mind were different – when would the cherries blossom where she lived? Did she have a nice window view of the trees?
I’d almost forgotten I still had my phone in hand as I walked out of that little playground. Scrolling to another contact I’d spoken to the day before, I shoot out a message to Koito-san:
“Do you like cherry blossoms?”