Chapter Text
There is a jar of honey on my floor. There is homework piled on my bed. There is a mess in the corner. There are too many unread books on my bookshelf. There are too many unworn clothes in my closet. I am not the child I thought I’d be.
I always pictured myself thriving in college, but now I realize I’ve never been able to picture myself alive in college. My life has been planned out since the fifth grade and I have no idea what I’m going to do. I am not the child I wanted to be.
I haven’t been taking my iron in the morning or my magnesium at night. I haven’t been watering my plants. Any peace I find is so short-lived I start to think it never existed. I never learned how to make origami cranes. I am more like my father than I thought I’d be.
I’m not as close to my family as I should be. I can feel my emotions getting the better of me, raging out of control when I don’t mean anything I say. I sit in my room for days so I don’t destroy things. My eye won’t stop twitching and my whole body is tense. I am more like my father than I wanted to be.