Chapter Text
August 18th, 2025, London, UK
THE BEST BUILDING IN THE WHOLE WORLD 🔥🌏
(11:51 AM)
George:
Hello everyone! As it is induction day today, we will be having some freshmen moving in!
Max:
Can they sim-race?
Daniel:
Sick! Finally some fresh meat >:D
Lando:
When u say it like tht u sound liek a cannibis
cannobaist
cannonbal
canonball
fuck someone help me out
Alex:
A cannibal??
Lando:
Yis tht ty
Carlos:
Lano, pls let me turn on autocorrect on your phone 😭 its painful atp
Lando:
Noooo it ruins the authrenticicity 😞
Alex:
Only you would be scared of ruining the “authenticity” of your texts 😭
George:
He is a full tilt diva, after all
Max:
Reminds me of someone else (cough cough.. george)
Daniel:
TELL THEM MY SID THE SLOTH STROOPWAFFEL
Max:
…
What did you call me?
Daniel:
No comment
Charles:
Why is my phone blowing up?
Esteban:
I look away from my phone for all of 30 seconds and this happens
Lance:
@esteban get back here i wasn’t done talking to youuu
Daniel:
MAX NO STOP BANGING ON MY DOOR
CHARLES DO SOMETHING
Charles:
And why would i this is funny
Max:
Daniel open the door…
I just want to talk >:D
George:
Sure…
Daniel:
@max , dont you have a seminar starting in 4 minutes?
Max:
SHIT
daniel you got lucky this time
George:
Lmao
Saved by the bell
Lando:
GEOREG USUING LMAO I CN DYE IN PEACE
George:
*die
Lando:
kys
Charles:
Who even has a seminar on induction day of all days?
Max:
Me :(
It’s for track and field
coach wants us to “get into the mindset early”
What a load of bullshit
THE GAYTET 💅🕺
(1:41 PM)
Lando:
Guys this meating is so boring omg
I want to partyyyy
im actually considering defgrenistration
defrengristration
i give up
George:
*meeting
Lando, please pay attention
The academic year hasn’t even begun yet and you’re already trying to go back on academic probation
Alex:
Agreed, i never want to tutor someone again
I know im half thai but sometimes the stereotype does NOT fit
Lando:
but tht was b4 i became the best flanker our rugby team has ever seen
Istg being a full-back was a waste of potengtial
The university cant afforyt to lose me 😉
George:
Lando, pay attention or i WILL march into your meeting and take your phone
Lando:
This is bullying
George:
Damn right hoe
Now if i even catch a whiff of your twink ass typing i WILL hunt you down and lecture you in front of all your teammates
Alex:
George why are you never this funny in the main gc
Charles:
Ignore the fact i just popped up, was talking to fred about something
What is happening??
George:
There’s this thing called being professional…
But if I must…
Lando:
Whipped
Also Charles there's this thing called reading up idk if you know abt it
George:
Lando, I can still walk into that meeting…
Lando:
Yep okay bye going away now!!
Alex:
Mother hen george strikes again lmao
George:
💔💔💔
Charles:
Oh yes george i was also meaning to ask!
Do you know when the new people are moving in?
George:
Soon, I believe
They have that induction ceremony remember
Charles:
ah yes the one that was weirdly cult-ish
Right then i shall recruit some people to size up our new neighbours
Alex:
Is this just an excuse to gossip??
Charles:
…maybe 👉👈
Alex:
Count me in 😘
And george too
George:
ALEX!!
You’re absolutely right
Charles count me in 🕺
Charles:
George the gossipy gay is my fav george evolution
Alex:
So real bro
George:
Stop talking about me like im a pokemon
If the main gc finds out about this, I will go into your rooms and rearrange all your furniture slightly off-center. Every. Single. Piece. And steal every single left sock <3
Alex:
😨
Why the left one??
George:
🤭
Logan, Oscar
(10:41 AM)
Logan:
Bro im so nervous wtf
Oscar:
Oh, you’re getting a new roommate right?
Logan:
Fingers crossed this ones better
I dont have it in me to be nice to dicks anymore 😭
Oscar:
Lo, you need to start standing up for yourself istg
Logan:
Yeah
I hope he’s not as shit as the last 😭
Oscar:
Oh my god yeah, i hated him
I'm so glad he left
Logan:
If he’s an asshole im actualy going to kms
And you r going to have to use ur fancy doctor powers to bring me back to life
Oscar:
Loges im not a doctor yet
And please dont
Logan:
Yeah but u always take care of me when im hungover 💔
That's basically the same thing
Oscar:
because if i don’t u might choke on your own vomit mate
…
And cause i care about you
Logan:
Oh 😨
Aww 💗
Logan:
Uhghghhgh
Im hungry
Want to go out
Oscar:
Yeah sure, could we also go to Ikea?
Me and lando need some more chairs
Last year we somehow managed on 2
It was hell tho
Logan:
yeah that was painful
OH MY GOD
I can get a djungelskog 😽
Oscar:
Bro
You have like 100 already
Logan:
Love u too 😜
Pierre, charles
(11:01 AM)
Charles:
Pearrrr
Pear
Pierre gaslyyyyyyy
Tripod
Strop eyefucking yuki i can sense it from here
istg you r the only person i know in a healthy relationship
Pierre:
Mon ami
What now
Charles:
Want to go check out our new neighbours when they arrive?
Pierre:
Uh.
yes???
Charles:
Right, shall we inform the other gossipy gays?
Pierre:
Absolutley
💅😜 GAY OR EUROPEAN? 💅😜
(11:05 AM)
Charles:
Listen up hoes
Me and pear are going to size up the rookies
Who else is in?
Daniel:
Me and Max are in!!
Max:
Wtf i never agreed to this
Charles:
Come on max
For me?
Max:
…
Fine
If anyone on the main gc finds out istg
Charles:
Yay!
Lando:
I would be in but fucking rugby
Keep me updated tho charlito
Charles:
Carlos has been rubbing off on you huh
Carlos:
He has been annoying me 24/7 recently
Like a roach that doesn’t die no matter how many times you squash it
Lance:
Someone has to keep the feral demon tamed
Lando:
LANCE
I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING
AFTER WE BRUTALLY BEAT EVERYONE IN PADEL TOGETHER
ALSO CARLOS
COMPARING ME TO A ROACH???
Low blow 😔
Lance:
You mean i beat everyone in padel
You were just a liability
Lando:
You wnound me 🥀🥀
Carlos:
🤷
Max, Daniel
(11:10 AM)
Max:
danny
I see what u r doing
he doesn’t like me
i’ve accepted it
Daniel:
Maxy
He looks at you like you hung the stars just for him
I love you mate, but how dense can you be??
Max?
Oh ffs you r sim-racing again
Max:
How tf??
Daniel:
I know it all, my stroopwaffel
Max:
Why am i friends with u
don’t answer that
Ollie, Kimi
(2:50PM)
Ollie:
Is it too late to back out?
Kimi:
Bro i went to hunt down where the keys are kept
IF YOU PULL ANYTHING ISTG OLLIE
Ollie:
Fine 😔
Im waiting in the car
I see the building
Its intimidating
Kimi:
Drama queen
We’ll be fine
I hope
Isack, Liam
(2:50PM)
Liam:
Bro im so happy you’re my roommate
Isack:
Same omg
When i found out i actually jumped for joy a lil
AND WE ARE IN THE SAME BUILDING AS LEWIS HAMILTON
THE GOAT
MY GOAT
IM NOT OKAY
Liam:
i feel like your using me
nyway when are you bringing your stuff over?
Isack:
Soon, my dad’s bringing it all in his car
Liam:
Alright dude!
Cya soon
THE BEST BUILDING IN THE WHOLE WORLD 🔥🌏
(3:10 PM)
Charles:
GUYS
ME, PIERRE, MAX AND DANIEL SAW SOME NEW PEOPLE
Lando:
SPIL BRO M NOSY
Carlos:
Please tell us already landos cackling like a crazy person
People are staring
Daniel:
Okay so
there's a dirtyish blonde one
Looks like a surfer dude
He looks like he would say ‘rad’ unironically
Charles:
He was with another one
He has like shortish black brown hair
I think he said something in french so i will investigate later
Pierre:
There was more coming but daniel fell so we ran away
George:
Did either of you manage to get their phone numbers? I want to add them to the groupchat.
Charles:
Yeah about that…
I don’t think they saw us
Pierre:
He made me hide in the big hydrangea plant
And Daniel cosplayed as a lamp
Charles:
Details, details
Lewis:
Pierre… was that my hydrangea plant by chance…?
Pierre:
BLAME CHARLES HE FORCED ME TO
Fernando:
Do you have any photos?
Lewis:
My poor child 😢
Also, what lamp?
George:
Anyway, i might go down and check on them, anyone want to come with?
…
Charles:
George other gc
I have a better idea
Daniel:
you guys have a group without me💔
this is what happens when you get old
lewis:
what's that supposed to mean?
THE GAYTET 💅😜
(1:41 PM)
Lando:
Charles those were shit desriptions
Charles:
In my defence it is hard to see from behind the jungle we have going on
Anyways @george i have a master plan >:)
Lando:
I want to be aparte of the master plan!!
Charles:
Lando aren’t you doing some rugby thing?
Lando:
I cn run away
im the flash
but faster
and singnifically hotter
Charles:
Alright fine
Only because my plan requires multiple people
George:
Okay why am I kind of interested?
[Charles started a video call]
Kimi, Ollie
(2:20 PM)
Kimi:
Ollie
Someone knocked on the door
Where are you
Ollie:
Trying to figure out where my classes are
Maybe open the door?
Kimi:
I hate you
What if its a cereal killer
Ollie:
open the DAMN DOOR
Kimi:
Okay okay i did
There's nothing here
Ollie:
Oh thats nice
Kimi:
DONT OH THATS NICE ME
IM SCARED
Ollie:
But seriously did we get ding dong ditched
Kimi:
Ding dong ditch?
Oh wait, there's something here
It’s a piece of paper
Looks like an invitation of something
Ollie:
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Kimi:
We investigate the hell out of this?
Ollie:
Im sprinting back rn
I am sonic
I am the flash
THE ROOKIES 😝
(3:28 PM)
Ollie has added 7 members
Ollie:
Everyone gather round
Isack:
What is this
Who are you
Ollie:
I am your father
JOKING!! (or am i 🙈)
I am ollie, i live in rm 8 with @kimi !!
Gabi:
Alright, but what is this?
Kimi:
Didn’t you guys get an envelope with a mysterious message inside it?
Liam:
We did yeah?
Why?
Ollie:
Well me and kimi made this groupchat to find out who left them
Detective style
Franco:
Hola, you all must be new too im assuming
My envelope was on my bed?
Kimi:
😨
Did the intruder manage to get inside your dorm??/
Ours were outside
Franco:
I’m guessing it's because my roommate isn’t new, he’s a 2nd year
Ollie:
Well, we know where to start now
Franco, is your roommate in? We should interrogate him for clues
Jack:
This is cool and all, but how did you get our numbers?
Ollie:
Wouldn’t you like to know weather boy
Everyone met at me and kimis room in 10!!
Logan, Oscar
(3:30 PM)
Logan:
Oscar
Your boyfriend is insane
Oscar:
First of all, he’s not my boyfriend
Second of all, what did Lando do?
Logan:
He came up to me and handed me an envelope, told me to put it on my roommate’s bed and then sprinted away
He swooshed his cape, oscar
And it wasn’t even a cape
It was a blanket with jensons face on it 😭
Oscar:
Yep, sounds like lando
…
Logan?
U ok?
I heard banging
Logan:
Right yeah funny story
A bunch of the freshmen just came to my apartment
Asked me “what master do you serve” like im fuckin peter quill (not that im complaining chris pratt is HOT)
Turns out they were asking about the envelope your boyfriend gave to me before vanishing like a demon high on caffeine with a plan
Oscar:
Not my boyfriend…
Logan:
You wish he was
Oscar:
Thats irrelevant
Continue
Logan:
Anyway i spent like 5 mins convincing them that i was just a messenger, and to go find lando and his lil gaggle
So yeah 😀
Oscar:
Oh!
Anyways open the door i want to play mario kart
THE GAYTET 💅😜
(3:27 PM)
Lando:
Bro help charles your plan ws perfect
Charles:
Lando this is why we don’t question me
I am a man with flawless ideas
And even flawlesser cheekbones
George:
Charles no offence your “flawless” ideas have a 50% chance of blowing up in our faces in the most spectacularly stupid ways
Do you remember the toucan incident?
Or the penguin one?
Charles:
What happened in that zoo stays in that zoo
George:
At least now i have all the phone numbers of the freshmen
Charles:
Oh! Speaking of the freshmen
I have officially adopted the lanky one
I took one look at him and my maternal instincts kicked in
Lando:
i call dibs on franco
tht man has perfect eyelashes
nd even more prefect hair
i must get his curl haircare routine
Alex:
This is how i feel about logan lol
George:
I mean i dont have favourites…
But if i did it would totally be kimi 🤷
Alex:
Georgie i thought i was your fav ☹️
George:
He’s my favourite after you, obviously
Lando:
whipped
Charles:
whipped
Lando, Charles
(3:31 PM)
Lando:
Charles
Are u thnking what m thikning
Charles:
Operation galex??
Lando:
Okay okay
Luv the name
Whats the gameplan
Charles:
Well its george and alex
Those two are some of the most observant people here
Lando:
Apparently not when it comes to their own feelings smh
Charles:
I hate that u r right
Okay we need a reason for them to be alone together
Lando:
Yeah but they r besties already
Its nrmal for them 😭
Charles:
Ughh
It has to be romantic then
Like sickeningly eye openingly romantic
Lando:
How about we start small, planting ideas of pining in theri heads?
THEN we organise brunch, cos its fancier and george is a posh twit
And ditch them >:D
Charles:
LANDO COULD BE THE BEST WINGMEN I SAID
If our plan goes perfectly