Chapter Text
“The decision has been determined and is final. The werewolf known as Remus John Lupin will be expelled from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the wand he has in his possession will be snapped, and a mark will be placed upon his record showing that he has prior involvement in an attack.”
Remus couldn’t do anything but sit there and listen to his life be torn apart. Dumbledore sat to his right, looking grave as he examined the board of school governors and Ministry representatives. His father sat to his left, but did not look at Remus.
“Mr. Lupin, please note that this is an extremely lenient sentence. This is based entirely off of your clean record and status as a minor, as well as the coercion of Headmaster Dumbledore that led to your schooling and the involvement of Mr. Black which instigated the attack.”
Remus tore his gaze from the polished wood of the table and forced himself to make eye contact with the elderly witch who was speaking. “I understand,” He told her unblinking gray eyes. Gray eyes which were filled with nothing but contempt as she stared him down.
“Then please step forward, hand over the wand in your possession, and extend your dominant hand.”
Pushing his chair in, Remus stood and slowly walked towards the wizard who had left his seat to stand in front of the board of governors and Ministry officials. Every step was harder than the last, body still aching from the full moon and weighed down by dread. He held out his wand, gripped tightly in his right hand, and wished that it would stop shaking. The balding wizard took his wand, and Remus’s hand felt empty and cold without it. He knew the consequences, this was his own fault for believing he could get away with attending Hogwarts. Registration had been an eventuality anyway, he tried to convince himself.
Knowing that didn’t stop the magical tattoo from burning as it was branded into his wrist. A shifting tattoo of the moon that reflected the current phase, as well as a three digit number. Remus’s registration number. Number one hundred forty seven written in small, neat print.
“As I’m sure you are already aware, the Werewolf Registration Act will require that you check into the Ministry on the day prior to the full moon. Failure to comply will result in you being hunted down by a team from the Regulation of Magical Creatures Office that specializes in werewolf extermination. It is in your best interests to follow the act, a full version of which will be provided to you.” The man informed him as Remus forced himself to not clutch his burning arm. The provided pamphlet was unnecessary, he already knew all of the restrictions that he would now have to obey.
The bald wizard took Remus’s wand in both hands and there was an awful snapping noise. Remus watched on in silent horror as his faithful wand was broken in half. Irreparable, just like his future. He would never hold a wand again, not with the laws against it.
And that was it. The school’s board of governors began to pack up and exit the room. The Ministry officials collected their papers and left, their auror entourage sneering at him as they went, leaving Remus to stand in the shattered remnants of his life. Expelled from Hogwarts, his wand snapped, and visibly branded as a werewolf. There was practically nothing left for him anymore. Even his mother had died the previous year, and his father had been distant and grieving ever since.
Remus was cursed. Afflicted by both lycanthropy and further punishment in the form of losing everything he cared about. And here was the ultimate punishment, his meager chance of a future being ripped to shreds by one of his best friends.
Remus didn’t think he would ever be able to forgive Sirius Black. A boiling rage was building in his chest beneath the numb shock. He didn’t think he could even stand to see Sirius’s face without savagely attacking it, proving himself to be the beast everyone knew he was. Remus had expected his secret to come out in a lot of ways, but never had he imagined one of his friends would attempt to use Remus to murder a classmate as a joke. His whole life was ruined for a murder attempt disguised as a prank.
“Remus, my boy.” Dumbledore sounded so horribly sad, but Remus couldn’t help but hate him for it. He had given eleven year old Remus promises of an education, a future, and yet there they were, being taken away for something that wasn’t even his fault. His hope had been poisonous, making Remus believe that he really had the chance to live as a normal wizard.
“I think you’ve said enough, Dumbledore,” His father snapped. “Come along, Remus. Your things are waiting for us by the gates.”
He wouldn’t even get to see Gryffindor Tower one last time. His things had already been packed, his sentence determined even before it was given. Remus was to leave the school as soon as possible. Remove the threat from the school of vulnerable children before it could do any more damage.
Remus and his father walked in a silence so heavy it had a physical weight on their way out of the castle. He kept his eyes up, trying to take in the image of Hogwarts’s grand halls one last time before he would never see them again. Never again would he eat in the Great Hall or attend classes or use the library or talk with his friends.
His friends. Maybe Remus could try to keep in contact with James and Peter. But why would they want to? Surely they would cut their losses and stop all contact with the werewolf once they realized how much trouble he would be in. It would be social suicide to be associated with him now, and they were already going to be on thin ice.
“Remus,” His father said once they exited the castle. “Do you have any kind of plan?”
A plan? No, Remus had never planned on being exposed and just expelled rather than killed, had never considered what might come next. He silently shook his head, not trusting his voice.
“I have some money set aside. Not a lot, but enough to keep you afloat while you find a job. You’re almost seventeen now, an adult, you’ll be able to support yourself if you play your cards right.” His father paused and took a deep breath, “I’m afraid that I cannot let you stay with me longer than the next full moon.”
Remus stumbled over the uneven ground, a deep pit in his stomach. His father was kicking him out? The next full moon was just a few weeks away. By April fourth he would be living alone, and he would well and truly be cut off from his old life. The story was sure to hit the papers the next day, and he had no expectations for his name being redacted. The whole world would know him as the wolf among the precious Hogwarts flock. Would the people he had sat next to in class spit at him the next time they saw him?
He knew that the answer was yes.
“Okay,” He finally responded, words directed to the dirt.
His father sighed, sounding more tired than Remus had ever heard him. “Remus, believe me, I don’t want to force you out. But if I let you stay then I’ll be accused of giving you access to a wand as soon as you turn seventeen and you’ll be taken to court.”
Taken to court. A kind way of saying that his right hand would be cut off because beasts weren’t allowed to have wands. And maybe his father had a good reason, but Remus didn’t think he could bear to lose anything else that day. “I understand.”
“Good.” They had reached the gates and his father grabbed Remus’s trunk before turning to him, face weary and lined with grief. “Hold onto my arm.”
Side along apparition. Remus had been taking the course, and would have taken his exam in late April if things hadn’t gone so horribly wrong. Now he wouldn’t be finishing the course, and would never be able to apparate. After all, apparition required a wand. Something that Remus didn’t have anymore, would never have again.
The snapping of ten and a quarter inches of cypress wood and unicorn hair echoed in his mind as his father apparated them away.
-
Lupin Cabin did not feel like home. After arriving Remus didn’t bother to unpack, he would be leaving soon enough. Instead he sat in a room that felt empty without three other laughing boys by his side, and hated himself for missing Sirius. Sirius didn’t deserve his thoughts, yet Remus could think of nothing but Hogwarts and Sirius and how stupid he had been.
He had trusted Sirius to keep his secret, and then he had led Snape right to Remus. It wasn’t like Sirius didn’t know that anyone learning Remus was a werewolf could get him expelled, could get him killed. His family was pureblood, and as much as Sirius hated to admit it, he was privileged. He got to sit in on the Wizengamot meetings and hear the new laws and acts that were passed regarding werewolf restrictions. Perhaps Sirius himself wasn’t there, but his parents certainly were, and before he’d run away Remus knew that they were the kind of parents to discuss the latest politics at the dinner table. It wasn’t like werewolf laws were some big secret that nobody knew the specifics of.
Remus was pretty sure Sirius’s parents were responsible for getting some of the laws passed.
He laid stretched out on his childhood bed, wanting nothing more than for time to reverse by a week. The Gryffindor dorm would be full of laughter, half written homework abandoned in favor of ribbing James over his latest attempt to woo Lily or planning their upcoming pranks. Remus missed it so badly that it ached, and the fact that he could never return just made it hurt more.
James had written a letter saying that Sirius had been suspended for the rest of their sixth year, and that he was sorry he hadn’t been faster in stopping Sirius. Remus was just grateful that he had heard about it and managed to stop the stupid trick before Snape could actually get killed, or worse, turned. He had managed to coerce his father’s owl into sending his reply, which informed James and Peter about the very basics of his situation and the fact that he might not be able to write after the next full moon.
It still hadn’t really sunk in that Remus would have to leave the cabin after the full moon. He would pack up all of his stuff the night before and leave it by the door. Then he would get his father to apparate him to the Ministry. There he would be held in a cell for the duration of the full moon, something which was sure to infuriate the wolf, before being released. Remus would take the floo back to the cabin, pick up his things, and leave.
Currently Remus’s plan was to find a job in a muggle town. Something that would allow him to take full moons off but pay well enough that he could survive. He was lucky that his mum was a muggle and had taken the time to teach him about muggles and expose him to their way of life. Otherwise Remus would be severely limited in where he could go looking for work. He certainly couldn’t find work in the wizarding world.
Even so, there was no guarantee that he would be able to support himself after his father’s small gift ran dry. The cyclical nature of his transformation and the healing that went along with it meant that he needed to find a job where he could take off several days in a row each month. Muggles didn’t believe in werewolves, but they still wanted consistent workers. Any job he could find as a minor with no work experience and odd availability wouldn’t pay well. No matter how Remus looked at it, he was sure that his life was heading towards a rapid decline and early end.