Chapter Text
Just a single string remained. A single wire that tethered Spamton and kept him from his freedom. From Heaven. Heavy breaths and rattling of roller coasters moving on their tracks filled the air as the three heroes watched Spamton learn the truth of his circumstance.
The coasters slowly came to their stop, and the heroes lowered their weapons and defenses. Was this fight truly over? Spamton stopped attacking so it must be, right? Despite the end clearly being in sight, Kris was still fighting a battle all on their own. Their soul pulsed in their chest as it begged for command, silent chants of “trust me” “do it” “I know you can do it” echoing in their mind. Kris could and would do what their soul was asking, but that wasn’t the problem. The problem they had was how they might have possibly known? There was no reason they should but the incessant talking was almost as bad as feeling that damn soul pull on their own strings.
It could hardly be considered a choice but the lack of genuine control made the command go down a little bit easier.
“WAIT!!! [$!?!] THE PRESSES!” The puppet cried, being met with silence from the heroes.
“MY… MY [wires]... THEY’RE ALMOST [gone]!? KRIS… YOU… YOU’RE [gifting] ME MY [freedom]!? KRIS… AFTER EVERYTHING I DID TO YOU!? AFTER ALL THE [unforgettable d3als] [free KROMER] I GAVE YOU YOU’RE FINALLY REPAYING MY [generisity]!?” Kris kept a stoic face, though they wanted to scoff at the very idea of being free in this world.
There was no gifting, no freedom, what even was kromer? They never got any. All there was was cause and effect, the will of an angel, and constant battles for power. Kris couldn’t understand why the soul wanted to trade powers like this, much less why they would want to go against His plan. But this was still what it wanted. Kris knew that if they fought it they would just be forced into it.
“KRIS!!! I UNDERSTAND NOW!! THE GREATEST DEAL OF ALL!!!” An inside voice?
“[Friendship]!!!” Oh, no. Not even close, okay.
“KRIS!!! MY DAYS AS A [Long-Nosed Doll] ARE OVER!!! CUT THAT [Wire] AND MAKE ME A [Real Boy]!! ARE YOU WATCHING, [Heaven]!? IT'S TIME FOR SPAMTON'S [Comeback Special]! AND THIS TIME... I LIVE FOR MYSELF!!! NO... MYSELF AND MY [Friend(s)]!!!” No. He would live for the will of the soul. Whether he knew or not, Spamton would never be able to live for himself.
With a final sigh, Kris pulled out their blade. Not the strange pink sword that bounced when it was thrown on the ground, but a glimmering kitchen knife that looked no different than it did in the Light World. In the Dark World, though, this simple knife became The Soul Cleaver.
“Susie, can I get you to throw me?” Kris asks, their eyes fixed on the bouncing robot.
“Oh hell yeah! Watch out, Kris!” It was nice having a friend who was so willing to throw first and ask questions later, Kris knew they wouldn’t really be able to explain why they needed to be on top of the enemy right then.
It was the perfect throw, with Kris landing right on Spamton NEO’s chest. Their eyes glowed a vibrant red as they peered into Spamton’s dyed glasses, their breath heavy with one hand on the final wire and the other gripping the triangle shaped chest plate tightly. It gave way with little resistance, and Spamton was still too distracted by his own glee to really realize what was going on.
“HERE I GO!!!! WATCH ME FLY, [MAMA]!!!!” Spamton cries out, his cracked heart on a chain pulsating and glowing faintly as Kris raises their blade.
In a single swift motion, Kris buried The Soul Cleaver into his heart and soul while the other hand ripped the final wire out of his back. A loud hum emanated from the scene as they were both engulfed in a blinding light that pulsed from Kris’ very soul. Whatever happened must have been painful, as both Kris and Spamton began to scream.
“Kris!” Susie cries out, shielding her eyes from the light.
Despite the strong force keeping them away she tried her best to take a single step forward to get to her friend. Then another, then another.
“Susie! I’ve never seen an attack this strong, you could be torn apart!” Ralsei’s voice managed to break through the deafening hum as he tried to reach forward to pull Susie away.
It was no use, though. He was barely strong enough to pull himself off the ground let alone counter the pure force of a human soul.
What was Kris doing? It looked as though this attack would kill both of them, and they were both clearly in pain. Another bright pulse of light, another scream of pain, then there was nothing. The light died, as did the hum. The robot collapsed to the ground having lost the last wire that held it aloft, leaving the two limp as a soft glow slowly began to beat from the robot’s chest.
The fruit of Kris’ labour laid before them in the form of Spamton’s heart and soul; its blue form with cracks that glowed deep red.
This robot was still dead, though. The transfer wasn’t a success and Spamton’s body ultimately ended up rejecting it. Maybe it was because it wasn’t made for him, or maybe it wasn’t strong enough to hold his newfound power. A clatter came from the chest as Kris carefully climbed off making sure that their blade was well concealed before they turned to face Susie and Ralsei.
“What… What happened, dude? Is he dead? Can he die? Ralsei can darkners die?” Susie’s voice was filled with worry as she approached the body.
“It’s hard to say… Honestly with an attack like that I’m shocked there’s still a shell for us to examine. How… How did you do that, Kris?”
Kris didn’t say anything though. They stayed perfectly silent and still as the armor began to clatter again as if something was buried underneath. A clatter, a clank, a groan and a crash as the body collapsed into pieces across the rails.
“Whoah, I don’t think he’s dead!” Susie bore her axe once more as Ralsei prepared to fight as well, only for Kris to raise their hand to tell them to stand down.
“He’s not, but he’s not going to fight us anymore.” Finally Kris spoke, their breath even as a small ball jointed hand burst from the pile of scrap metal.
Both Susie and Ralsei couldn’t help but scream at the sight, clutching each other close despite the lack of any true danger. It all felt like a scene from a horror movie, like the antagonist that refused to die or a parasite bursting out of its host. Maybe something Susie had seen before in all of her horror movie and game fanaticism but without a doubt this was completely new to Ralsei. As the last pieces of rotten glass and rusted metal clattered away, a small… something crawled out.
“Sweet [Deals for Quality Goods] that hurt… But are they… the [Wires] are [Gone with the Wind]?” Spamton asked, his eyes shifting between his hands and the black abyss above them.
While they were mostly gone, there was still a single string that remained. A single red wire that glowed just ever so slightly extended from his chest into the abyss that felt so terribly different from the strings that tethered him before. The constant barrage of static, chaos, dialtones and voices were gone. Replaced by complete silence that allowed Spamton to think clearly for the first time in what felt like decades. For the first time since that last phone call with Mike.
Did Kris really screw him out of his freedom again? What was the deal with this string?! With a rather loud grumble, Spamton began to reach up to grab the string and tear it free but his hands just passed right through it as if it was just a ray of light. To everyone else though, it just looked like he was waving his arms around to swat a fly or clear a spider web before he walked through it. This wasn’t part of the deal! Kris promised him freedom! Just as Spamton was about to ask Kris what was going on, the human gave him a look.
Despite it looking no different from the normal idle expression Kris carried it felt as though Spamton could read exactly what it meant. “Don’t say a thing.” And so he didn’t.
Maybe it was because of this string forcing its influence on him, but it might just be because he could tell how important it was to keep quiet. For now at least.
Spamton’s little performance with invisible flies and spider webs seemed to calm down a lot of the stress and fear that Ralsei and Susie felt but one thing still ate away at them. What was all of this about? Why did Kris know this guy? Why did he look so weird?
“Are you… good…?” Susie hesitantly asked, looking him up and down as he brushed the dust off the sleeves of his jacket.
“Right as [Light afternoon drizzles] just a little [Ow! Stop! It hurts!]”
“Ralsei could you heal him?” Kris asks, kicking the mound of scraps around as if they were looking for something that might have been buried within them.
As if commanded, Ralsei nodded with a small hum and turned his attention to the puppet. With a snap of his fingers a soft green glow engulfed Spamton’s body, allowing all of his remaining wounds and pain vanish as if they were never there to begin with.
“There, is that better?” Ralsei’s calming voice seemed to do just as much as the healing spell to make Spamton feel better, allowing him to finally look at the heroes to understand everything just a little bit better.
These were monsters he had seen before from his stints watching them from the garbage cans but there was no way they would have met him. He didn’t want them to know him. The less people who knew Spamton G. Spamton the failed Big Shot the better.
“Who are you anyway? Why were you going to fight Kris here of all places?” Susie asks, her eyes narrowing suspiciously at the odd looking Darkner.
“Every buddy’s favourite [Number 1 Rated Salesman1997] Spamt Spamton G. Spamton!” There goes the anonymity angle.
Despite it being a perfectly good explanation of who he was, this didn’t seem to give the heroes any sort of conclusive answer. It was his name, it was his identity, sure it might not be the reason he was ready to kill Kris, but they didn’t need to know all the details about his failures. If only he could have remained anonymous to these little worms and gone back to his life in the garbage, acting like he wasn’t completely screwed over yet again.
“Right… Well we’ve got to rescue our friend from Queen, so we should probably get going,” Susie says, her eyes shifting to Kris as they continued to rummage through the metal and glass.
At first it just looked like they were just passing the time and burning off excess energy but now there was a sort of frantic energy about it that read like they were trying to find something they lost. A growing sense of frustration as the clanging of metal hitting the ground got louder and louder before Kris turned to face Spamton. It might have been annoyance on their face, or genuine anger, even something as simple as stress beginning to overwhelm them.
“Kris, did you lose something in the battle? H-hold on, we can help you look!” Ralsei’s eagerness wasn’t really misplaced, but Kris didn’t want any help from him.
“You’re supposed to have a crystal, so clear you can only see its shadow, do you have it?” They ask, their tone seeming quite accusatory as if they were telling Spamton to give them the crystal.
“[Crystal]? It was in my [Workout-Ready Body] when I got there. You [Want It]? There’s no [Delisis Kromer] in [fancy rocks] Kris!” Spamton didn’t seem too interested in whatever it was Kris was looking for. The nonchalance in which he spoke of it and the casual way he reached into his pockets, not even knowing where it might have been stashed away seemed to upset them.
Finally after what felt like ages, Spamton found the nearly invisible crystal. His first plan was to hold it up in the air like some sort of treasure retrieved from a chest in a video game, but just as soon as it was pulled out of his jacket pocket, Kris snatched it out of his hand and pocketed it themself with an angry huff.
“Woah Kris! [Mind the Merchandise]!” Spamton cried out, pulling his hands back from the shock of it all.
“Yeah Kris! No need to be so aggressive about it, jeez. He was going to give you the crystal you could have just waited a couple more seconds.” Susie added.
“I’m sorry, okay? This has just been a little stressful, we need to get back on track and find Noelle.” Kris sighed, turning on their heels and walking towards the exit.
Hearing this name caused Spamton to bound eagerly as he thought of a brand new way to be useful. Maybe their plan fell through to give Spamton his freedom but their attempt was noted and he did want to acknowledge that. Maybe granting a favour would repay it.
“Oh the Holi[Holidaygirl1225]! I know where she is! Let me [Play Tag] along with you!”
“Wait, you know Noelle?” Susie seemed shocked enough that this stranger knew Noelle, let alone enough to know her last name or be willing to help them get her back.
Even if they knew she was inside Queen’s mansion at this point, it wouldn’t really hurt to have another body to help fight, right?
“Oh yeah! She and I go [Several Years Ago]! We talked about [Petting Cats] and [Pipis]!”
“I’m not sure how that would be entirely relevant now, how do you know where she is?” Ralsei asked, deciding to set aside his question about what pipis was.
“Queen always [Hides] her [Specil Guest(s)] in the penthouse suite.”
That seemed to be enough of an explanation for Susie, who shot a glance at Kris to ask if they would let Spamton tag along. That look of slight annoyance never actually left their face, but they knew that there wouldn't be any use trying to fight Susie on this topic so Kris reluctantly nodded their head.
Just like that, Spamton joined the party. A monument to all of Kris’ frustrations and who seemed like he would be more of an annoying hindrance than any sort of ally. What the hell could he do in a fight? Harass the enemy for money until they run away? On second thought that might be useful. Either they get more money or the enemy is spared which seems like a win-win scenario. And in the case where violence needed to be used… It was pretty clear that Spamton would be able to hold his own. Even without his new body he could land a decent hit, with the right weapon or armor he would definitely be a solid addition to the team.
Without another moment of pause, the Fun Gang made their way out of the basement. No conversation was had until they reached the main hall of the mansion, where Spamton immediately began to fidget and look around nervously. This was a place he wasn’t really supposed to be in, after all, and this was the first time he managed to get past the front gate in years. As long as he wasn’t spotted there shouldn’t be any problems. Should be an easy task since there was never anyone in the main hall but as soon as Kris began making their way to the Colour Cafe Spamton began to panic.
“Woa [Hey hEY]! Who needs the [Swatch Shop] when there’s plenty of shops [With Quality Items At Low Low Prices] out in the City! Right Kris you little [Sponge]? He’s a [Month Subscription For $29.99] anyway let’s go!” Spamton announced in a desperate tone as he began to push Kris towards a door with flames licking the bottom of the frame.
This door wasn’t here the last time he was in the mansion. It felt like an incredibly recent addition, maybe even as recently as Kris and the gang’s arrival. His words seethed and hissed through his teeth as he continued to push much to Kris’ chagrin but the very second they passed through the door, they found themselves back in the grimy streets of the trash zone. Back at Spamton’s home. Maybe it was just because this is where Spamton felt most comfortable, it was still the easiest way to get to the city.
“Damn I was kind of hoping to go back to the Colour Cafe, that butler juice is pretty tasty.” Susie mutters, resting her hands behind her head as she steps away from the door.
“Oh please that [ButJuice] isn’t nearly as good as…” Spamton trailed off, his eyes shifting to someone standing deeper in the alleyway.
At the garbage can nearest to where his shop used to be stood a single yellow Addison examining the remains of Spamton’s home.
“Spamton? Are you okay?” Susie’s voice broke through his trance as she pulled her gaze in the direction he was looking.
The sound of his name seemed to have caught the attention of the Addison, who looked over to them in slight puzzlement.
“Spamton? Is that you?” He asks, hesitantly walking over to the heroes.
Just like that Spamton’s panic returned with his jaw beginning to clatter as he hid behind Ralsei. Yellow didn’t need to see him in this state after everything that’s happened. A free dip in Queen’s acid river, a complete mental break and one unfortunate phone call wasn’t exactly the wild tips someone could use to stop aging, after all. At this point he was so different than how he was in his prime he was shocked that Yellow recognized him at all but it was also entirely possible that he only assumed it was him because Susie said his name.
“Can we please [leave]?” Spamton whispered, trying to cover his face with the collar of his turtleneck.
“Have you burned so many bridges that you don’t even want to show your face in the trash?” Kris grumbled, signalling the others to follow them with a simple hand gesture.
Spamton knew he couldn’t hide behind the fluffy prince forever though. Even as soon as two minutes from now when they reached the tea shop at his own stupid suggestion he would be forced to face the music and show his ugly mug to the Pink Addison. The best tea in the city was brewed by his very capable hands and thanks to harvesting cookies and personal data the teas were uniquely tailored for each person that drank it. Way back in the day before he wore the red jacket, Spamton remembered drinking a few cups with the other Addisons as some sort of bonding experience or prototype phase. Yellow always tasted like almonds, Blue always tasted like the tender insides of a floppy disk, Orange was smooth and sweet, and Pink was the flavour he was never able to pin down. It was pleasant, but he was never able to describe it accurately. To them, Spamton was robust, sweet and acidic like cola, “car air-freshener-esque” and “Kind of like tv static”. He only got it once after he made it big, and the recipient said it tasted like aromatic flowers and expensive cigars. He would have loved to get it afterward, but being unable to afford it and ashamed of asking for freebies, he never bothered coming back. Who knew what kind of rumours spread around Cyber City to justify the Addisons to refuse Spamton's very existence? Had he truly fallen that far from grace? If he came by just to ask for a free sample, it would very well be the end of him.
Despite all these years the Cyber City didn’t seem to have changed very much. Everything was exactly where it was since the last time he was here, the only thing that did change was the ads that littered the landscape. That seemed to bring Spamton a little bit of comfort, deciding to walk beside Ralsei instead of behind him but he kept his head low to prevent anyone from seeing his face.
“Addison’s tea shop is [Number One Rated Shop With Four Point Six Star Reviews].” Spamton said meekly as they walked towards his shop, earning a small hum from the three heroes.
Kris had visited the shop earlier when he was still with Noelle, but all of that tea had been consumed in their fight with Spamton. Now they were all tired, thirsty, and definitely in the mood for a cup of supposedly top rated tea. Just as another customer left, The Pink Addison turned to face the Fun Gang.
“Oh, Kris! Back so soon? It’s-” just like that, Addison froze in place.
It was like he saw a ghost, which debatably he did. No one thought that Spamton was alive at this point and this was the first time Pink had seen him since he moved in with Queen.
“Spamton? What are you- What happened, why are you so small? And what’s up with your smile…?” he asked in shock.
“I don’t have to [Explain] myself to [You]!” Spamton retorts, crossing his arms over his chest and looking away. “I’m here with my [New Friends!] to get some of your [Delisis] tea.”
This earned a small nod from Kris as they pulled a wad of cash from their money hole, setting it in Pink’s hand to get tea for the group.
“New friends, huh?” He repeated, deciding not to say anything of the odd way he spoke.
Hopefully Spamton wouldn’t leave them behind like he left the Addisons when he made it big. Time didn’t heal all wounds, nor did it allow them to forget. It hurt quite a bit back then and for some reason this new reveal brought about another pang of betrayal, anger and guilt. Why didn’t he ever come back? It wasn’t like they would have shunned him forever, they only turned their backs on him because he did the exact same thing.
“Well what flavour teas would you like?” Pink asks, a pixelated teapot appearing out of thin air in front of the floating cups.
Just as Ralsei was about to make his request, Spamton bounded up to make sure Pink paid attention to him.
“[ME]! [ALL MINE], I want them to savor the [BIG SHOT]!”
“A-actually I was hoping I could get-”
“[MINE!]” Susie couldn’t help but snort at the small puppet’s request, though it seemed more like a demand, and turned her attention to Kris.
“I want Spamton’s tea, he makes it sound pretty tasty,” She said with a nonchalant shrug, prompting Kris to sigh.
“Four cups of Spamton’s tea,” They say, the expression on his face reading as something along the lines of “we’re all going to regret this but he won’t shut up otherwise.”
Regret this they probably would, but Pink had no idea what his tea might taste like for this group. The worst part was he knew he wouldn’t taste like tv static anymore with no idea what could possibly replace it. Maybe once they were gone Pink would help himself to a cup and see what might have changed.
Once the cups were distributed, each hero took a sip of their own tea. There was no reaction from Kris as usual, but Susie took a small sip, then a second, then a third. It was unclear if it was because she liked it or because the flavour confounded her.
“It kind of tastes like that ham in the square cans,” she said, taking another sip. “I like it.”
Ralsei on the other hand seemed much more hesitant to drink it. He took a single, small sip and paused for a moment to figure out the taste.
“It’s very mild, like…. The air in Queen’s basement.” He says, deciding mild was a better adjective than musty or mildewy.
At least it didn’t taste bad enough for him to stop drinking it, but it was clear that he was only drinking it to be polite. These reactions pulled Spamton right back to the ground as he looked into his cup of plain water. It was different now. It wasn’t as good.
“... It used to be better.” He mutters, downing the tea in a single gulp and tossing the cup aside.
“I’m sorry, Spamton, maybe it’ll be different if you come back? I’m sure you’re… probably busy with your new friends, but it would be nice to see you again, maybe catch up with the others too?” In a weak attempt to save face, Spamton began to laugh.
“[Yeah Right] [Pink Floyd]! As if you guys would ever want to [Get a Load Of] me again! We should [Leave] Kris! We have [An Angel] to save!” Spamton announced, pulling Kris by the arm back towards the alleys while Ralsei and Susie followed.
A weak attempt to bond seemed to have failed miserably. At least Susie liked the tea, but it tasting like canned meat and basement wasn’t something he expected, nor was fond of. He was so much better than cheap ham! With his confidence shot like that, Spamton had lost pretty much all his motivation to continue in this little quest. They could go on without him, and he would go back to his garbage can where he belonged. Heading back to the Trash Zone to return to the mansion, Spamton hung back just a little in case Yellow was still lurking around the dumps but thankfully he too was gone.
“Hey would you [Look At The Time]! You should [Start Running] and save [Holidaygirl1225] before it’s too late!” Spamton announced with a laugh, leaning on an eggplant shaped like a bag of garbage.
“O-oh you won’t be joining us?” Ralsei asks.
“No I have a [Reasonable Excuse]! Good luck! But right! My help. Kris, you [Little Sponge]! In the main hall of Queen’s mansion there’s a bookshelf! Grab The book of [Internet Lingo] and a [Secret Path] Will open to the top floor!” Upon hearing this, Kris nodded casually as they pursed their lips.
“Well um, thank you for your help, Mister Spamton. Y-you know once we seal this fountain, I’m sure you would enjoy Castle Town! It might be a good opportunity to meet new people. Either way, I don’t think you should stay down here. There’s a whole world to explore, I'm sure you’ll find another spot you like. A place that… Smells less.” Ralsei said kindly.
“... Yeah, I’ll think about it [Toothpaste Boy].”
With that, The three heroes left.
In the end Spamton did decide to explore a bit. Not because the prince told him to but because he wanted to. After all this time, after the events in the basement, meeting Kris, this red wire… At this point he didn’t want to care about appearances anymore. He didn’t want to live in a goddamn garbage can, he didn’t want to be remembered or forgotten, he didn’t want to think that he’ll always be tethered by these wires. No one approached Spamton as he walked with purpose through the streets of the city and field but he could feel their stares. Those were hard to conceal when the recipient was so used to having eyes on them with Spamton only finding solace on a cliff that overlooked the city. It was where the Hacker used to be before he moved into the mansion leaving the space isolated. A perfect place to sit and think.
With his feet hanging over the edge, Spamton’s shoulders slumped down as he rested his hands between his legs. What could have happened for his life to turn out this terribly? How could he fumble all of his chances so terribly to lose everything over and over again? The Addisons, that damn idiot box, Mike… and now his final chance at freedom was ripped away yet again when Kris screwed him over. All they had to do was cut a single wire, was that too much to ask? The only solace he had was that now, there was only a single red wire keeping him from his freedom. A single wire that taunted him in a colour that stood in such high contrast to the rest of the cyber world as a mocking reminder of his fate. All he had to do was figure out how to cut this one wire and he would achieve his freedom.
“What a joke… Those three couldn’t make me a [Big Shot] so now I’m back at [Square One] with this- ” What started out as sadness quickly bubbled up into frustration as that fight replayed in his mind.
That body was perfect! It was big, it was better, he was an angel and he should have been able to fly up into heaven and get away from all this! But that wasn’t meant to be. So Spamton just sighed as he fell onto his back to look up at the sky.
Fireworks that looked like the trio’s faces illuminated the sky above him to provide some momentary distractions from the red wire, and just as he began to close his eyes, a voice broke him from his depressive state.
“You made an attempt, Spamton, that’s a hell of a lot better than so many people.”
Upon hearing this Spamton shot right back up and looked around him for any sign of life. He was supposed to be alone up here, what was the deal?! Even after careful and extensive searches though, there still wasn’t anyone on this cliff.
“Things might suck right now, but you’re going to be okay in the end I promise.” This voice didn’t come from behind or above him, or anywhere he would have expected to hear a voice.
It wasn’t even inside his head like Mike used to be, instead it felt as though it was emanating from his own heart and soul.
“Don’t be afraid, I’m not like Mike.” Those words did little to bring him comfort, instead only bringing him a deeper sense of panic as he looked down to his chest.
“WHAT THE [&!@%] ARE YOU!?”