Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The day it all went to shit started actually nice.

Micro was the first person to wake up, which is a rare commodity considering Panzer exists. It was a bit unusual, but for some reason he just couldn’t fall asleep. It felt like something ominous was lingering in the distance, ready to pounce and drag him into the darkness, which isn’t a good feeling to have. So Micro did the most reasonable thing, he ignored it and decided to blame it on Neptune, which is also a very reasonable thing to do.

He then climbed down the bunk bed and went straight to the kitchen, as always food was warm and ready. It was nice to not have to worry about food anymore. He grabbed sandwiches on his way outside to check on their van.

It was a small old thing, yellow bleached walls and a broken light in front, probably barely functional, not that any of them had a driving license. The main thing that distinguished this particular van from any other old van in England was a Canada flag painted on its sides, Banana’s so-called masterpiece.

Micro went in to check on supplies, after all they recently found out that someone was stealing from them. It was the first (and hopefully only) time in his life when he was thankful for Panzer’s scrupulousness. Other boy counted their funds and amounts of products, then worked his math magic to figure out that someone was taking the goods.

Now, the first thing he did after that was to tattle on them to Mr Saparata, which is, of course, he did the absolute suck-up he is.

Micro still refuses to admit it might have been a good idea just because of possibility of someone having an addiction.

Panzer after all was a tattletale, since it was apparently bros before hoes, but not bros before mr Saparata.

Ultimately, it ended with them all out of the house on a cooling off trip to the vacation house, which was really cool. Then upon their return they came to realise that even more goods went missing to a unknown thief.

It ended up with a new lock for them to have and a scare of their life because mr Saparata was very mad about some random for stealing their science project.

Oh yeah, did he mention that their very gullible teacher (and kinda a guardian slash father figure, it's complicated) completely believed they were doing a chemistry project. The only reason it worked because Panzer knew actual formulas of the drugs they were creating, fucking nerd.

And, well, probably because mr Oppenheimer, a local science teacher, supported them since his wife loves drugs...

 

After he checked that everything was safe, it seems their thief sucked at lockpicking.

What a loser.

Not that Micro knows how to do it either, but if he were a thief, theoretically speaking only, lockpicking would have been a first skill he would have learnt.

Damn, their thief must be so stupid.

 

Later, he sat at the doorstep, munching on the sandwich. It was actually good unlike any other food Mr Saparata cooks, probably because he didn't actually have to prepare any ingredients. Man’s taste buds were either dead or non-existent, which was the main argument of Neptune’s vampire theory.

Now, the thing is mr Saps is a fucking weirdo, even more so than Panzer, which is a huge fit to accomplish.
So naturally, they started to create theories about how this happened. It also didn’t help that man also looks unnatural, he has long white hair (“it’s called albinism” would say Panzer), pale as snow (“he is just white person” would say Panzer) and golden eyes (“it’s a light reflection of brown eyes-” would not continue Panzer because at this point someone will shut him up), which a weird combination.

What is worse is that man knows nothing about human society. He believes in the good of people even when he is scammed or robbed, he genuinely volunteers at orphanages and often donates his money and is generally very kind even to people who harassed him. He is basically a fairy tale hero like a good guy, which if Micro did not know him personally, he would have thought was an act.

In other words mr Saparata State was too naive, too kind and too forgiving, which is how the Canadian Cartel ended up running in his backyard, while man genuinely believed it was all for science. They even managed to convince him that money they earned came from some award they won and the guy did fall for their scum like he did for every other person who asked him to lend money to very obviously fake poor and ill person.

Gullible must have been his middle name.

 

Its precisely because of how abnormal mr Saparata is, the theories started to fly around the school and orphanage they grew up in.

Neptune, as mentioned before, fully believed (and hoped) that white man was a vampire.

His arguments were: mr Saparata’s inability to tan, his abysmal tasting buds (because he usually just eats blood) and him looking as young as he was when they first met him as kids.

Micro did not believe this theory because everyone knows that vampires are weak to sun and garlic, which they all tested on Mr Saparata and he was totally fine, so it's a firm no.

Banana on other hand truly believed that man was an alien, who was determined to help out the poor and stupid humanity to prosper instead of usual assholes in films.

His arguments were: abysmal taste buds, his gullible nature, lack of awareness of other humans’ intentions and all the stories of how history was created.

Mr Saparata’s hobby outside of books and being a very kind alien according to Banana was history but unlike actually credible historians he insisted on some conspiracy like shit.

For example, he was very hell-bent and stubborn that dinosaurs did not exist and were created by some guy named Sidefall as a joke. Naturally, Banana was a shit starter, so he ate up everything mr Saparata said and often indulged delusional man in his fantasies, which he later used to provoke reasonable people like Panzer.

This theory about mr Saps was somewhat believable and if Micro had to pick one, it would be this one. But ultimately it was highly likely created because Banana wanted to piss off science fanatic Panzer, which was one of the few topics that make man truly mad and it is incredibly funny to watch him crash out.

Like last week Banana started arguing that every food could be classified into 3 categories: soup, sandwich and salad. Panzer then, as expected, blew up screaming things like “ice cream is not a fucking salad”, which only made them laugh more and Banana to double down, now convinced that everything is a salad.

It only came to a stop because mr Saps has to step in to prevent Panzer from murdering Banana.

But it didnt end there.

The day after that incident started nice, then Banana asked Mr Saps during lunch when they were eating nachos (not cooked by mr Saparata), whether he agreed that nachos are salad.

As Panzer grew red in anger and was ready to blow up, white man actually postulated with philosophy and logic that nachos are in fact a sandwich. With that he defeated Panzer, destroying him completely and became their ultimate hero.

(He also later apologised profusely to Panzer after realising the absolute emotional damage he caused to the guy and bought him his favourite food, which the guy did not deserve, but it’s mr Saps fo you)

Micro himself did have a theory that mr Saps was a mystical creature stuck in human form but in the end he was outvoted because when he was a kid he actually genuinely thought the old man was a fairy or an angel with his white hair and holy presence.

It was a stupid argument against his idea and clearly a mutiny against him directly, because boys just called him biased since he also had whitish hair like a total losers they are. Since they were just envious that some people actually thought he is man's son. Not that Micro would want that, pfff.

(He still thought mr Saps could be an elf, because he actually has a good aim, is kinda ethereal, not very human like and doesn’t age, although he doesn't have pointy ears. Micro checked)

While all theories were good, even if boys disregarded his, the sheer audacity, Panzer’s were not even taken into account because he just called mr Saps autistic, which might be true but was so boring that they rejected it.

Speaking of the man, he returned home and now was heading straight for Micro. He immediately tensed trying to remember if he did any shit that could get him scolding (sometimes mr Saparata could be scary), he then remembered that he did put spicy sauce in Neptune’s food yesterday because he was having a fit of anger about his plants and Micro did not want to be near that, so he kinda forced him to be screaming while being on the toilet, but on the plus side he wasn't heard in their room or in the van.

Realising that he actually is guilty, he tried to relax thinking fast about some believable excuse so he could gaslight mr Saps, but before he came up with any, man was already standing in front of him.

“Micro, say…” started the man in his quiet and tired voice, indicating he was disappointed and it was actually worse than him being mad. Because mr Saps was one of the very few people, who did indeed believe that Micro could do better and it always stung when man looked at him with his sad kicked puppy eyes. So naturally, Micro instantly folded, “I am sorry I put spicy sauce in Neptune’s dinner, he was so annoying!”

“What?” blinked the man in confusion, “Nevermind, we will talk about it later,”.

Unusual for him, but Micro takes small victories where he can get them. “I wanted to ask, do you know how to get divorced?”

What.

“Are you fucking married?” he screamed so loud that birds in the trees flew off, startled, as all animals do when they see Micro.

“So…” said the man sheepishly, looking at the ground in something similar to embarrassment, “he might have given me some document and asked me to sign it... and i did… And, ehm, today he showed up with a marriage certificate?”

The first thing Micro thought was that he owes Banana 20 bucks, because Mr Saparata is kinda gay. The second thing he felt was pride that now white man knows that he shouldn't sign any paper he was given since man genuiely looked embrassed, resembling tomato. But after that came disappointment that he did, in fact, once again signed shit before reading it once fucking again. And only after that he realised that his sort of guardian and sort of dad is a married man, meaning he and the boys will get a second father, and probably an asshole one, who might actually realise that there is no science project in the basement but a drug operation.

You know scammer sees scammer type shit.

“How did you find out?” he managed to ask, planning to hide their supplies when the mysterious husband will inevitably come to visit. “Oh, he showed up at our doorstep today and is moving in right now?”

What.

Micro then sprinted past Mr Saparata, who ran after him calling his name in worry. He went to the front gate to see a truck open and full of furniture and a man, dressed in a rich ass coat, framed by gold, ordering moving team around.

Man then turned, ebony hair and violet eyes on an aristocratic face, sunglasses resting on his head. He raises an eyebrow, looking up and behind Micro at mr Saps, and asks “So which one of yours brat he is, Saps?”

When Micro asked later, he would point to this exact moment as the point of no return, the beginning of Armageddon, of all shit they had to go through. Because upon seeing him, Micro instantly knew this man was a fucking problem.

Chapter Text

Days later the household they find themselves in is in total schambles.

And Micro? Micro suffers the most, the brunt of war, the ultimate burden of Atlas-

"Are you done mopping?" Asks Panzer, because he has no appropriation for Micro's strategic brooding.

"Its called planning," he answers, his friend rolls his eyes in response, flexing his glasses.

This is exactly why Micro did not want to be paired with Panzer, the guy is too reasonable of a person, the dubious moral beacon of Canadian Carter, and this? This is a war. He might need to pull off some more manipulative moves or sacrifice some civilians (Neptune's plants). And Panzer would definitely be against it.

Sadly Banana and before mentioned Neptune were both convinced by the enemy, turning against their own brothers, deciding that they are gonna create a true relationship between Mr Saparata and, the asshole, Fluxion instead.

He does actually know that dude's name is Fluixon, but he wants to inconvenience man as much as possible. Sure, man's only reaction is his twitching eyebrow on snobbish face. But all great journeys start from one small step. This was his.

And it totally was part of his plan to make sure that everyone called him Fluixon, misinformation warfare, totally. Micro is such a genius actually…

Besides, it even worked on Banana and Neptune, the absolute traitors, who too called him that instead of his real name.
It doesn't work on Pazner, who calls him Mr. State. But it's not like anything ever works on Panzer except maybe infection, which often works too well on him.

Maybe, Panzer's immune system was sacrificied for his insane logic skills. Not that it helped them or poor Panzer.

***

It starts like this. On the first day, Mr Saps introduces him sufferingly after having an intense argument about the feng shui value of stalactites vs flowers with his so called husband.

He thinks sharp rocks look better actually, but that would mean he agrees with a scammer, so instead he agreed with Mr Saparata even if most flowers make him sneezy. Man looks happy at that, beaming at him, so he steadily ignores little pangs of guilt he always feels whenever he sees man's kind expression.

After brief introduction to their new housemate, Micro gathers boys in the van for a plan (heh, that rhymes). He writes in big red bold letters "divorce initiative plan" on the white board, he is pretty sure he and Banana stole from some house years ago.

"Alright, so we need to create a plan to get them divorced," says Micro in his serious serious voice.

"So that means you dont actually have a plan," comments Pazner and for that Micro throws a marker at him, because fuck Panzer.

"Why do we need to get divorce done?" Questions Banana, raising his hand.

"Excellent question. First of all, he tricked Mr Saparata into marriage with him. So he is a scammer!"

"So are we," murmurs Pazner and then gets his chair hit by a Neptune. That quietens him out, because no one messes with Neptune like that, he can and will pull a chair from under you, the absolute savage.

"Secondly, the reason we can stay here is because Mr Saparata doesn't know about drugs, remember? So we can't let that man stay here, he might figure us out," Boys frown at that, their expressions finally locking in. Even Pazner, who doesn't support lying (lame), agreed that they should not tell Mr Saps.

Otherwise they would have been succumbed to white man's disappointed faces and kicked puppy eyes. A lethal weapon of mass destruction.

"Alright. What's the plan?" Asks Neptune.

"Uhm..." says Micro eloquently, prompting his friend's fury and being thankful for once that he actually stands instead of sitting. Because Neptune looks ready to break his metaphorical chair.

"I've got an idea, boys," intervenes Banana, their local shit starter, which is kinda what Micro was hoping for since he himself has zero ideas.

After gathering them in the circle, he shares. And it's not bad. It might actually work even if Banana's reasons are probably him wanting to start shit with the man, but its Banana for you, he usually does that.

"That's so skibidi," throws in Panzer. And on that freak ass note, the meeting was adjourned.

The thing is Micro doesn't actually know if Panz knows what does the word mean or why he just always randomly says stuff like this, but at this point he is just too scared to ask.

What if he hears the actual deep dive into memes by Panzer in his monotonne strict voice, explaining why biologically humor works. It would totally kill any joy he could have ever found in memes or anything else literally.

Man could bore a bear to death, successfully escaping assasination by being utterly obnoxious.

**

Banana strolls into the kitchen a few days later, when Fluxion is there and more importantly he is alone, a prey left on his own without protection of the disapproving gaze of Mr Saparata.

That means Mr Saparata cannot interfere or scold them if they make another person cry, which is a good thing. Because Micro once made Zahacrious cry, and it did not end well for both of them.
(Of course, it ended worse for the other boy and Micro was proud of it, but mr Saps does not need to know it)

"So do you know that dinosaurs were planted by some dude named Sidefall," he starts in his diplomatic voice that usually makes Micro and Neptune want to cringe and also kick him in the balls. Its only them now, because while Pazner too often wants to beat up Banana, at this moment in time he dissappeared somewhere, which isnt unusual for him, honestly.

For now, he focuses on battle of wits downstairs.

Fluxion raises his eyebrow, attention now fully on Banana, who stands in front of the table, maintaining both height and dominance in this conversation, grabbing attention, so clearly, he was winning first move.

Micro quietly cheers him up, before hissing at Neptune who leaned too much on him. And since they both lay on the stairs, facing down, trying to hear every word, Neptune could fuck all operation up. It's a precarious position they found themselves in, but it's the best place for both eavesdropping and being unseen.

"Apparently, the God, Ish, created this universe, then he created hell and heaven for demons and angels respectively, for those poor and rich in resources and mind," continues Banana with the conviction of a true politician that once faked his own assasination attempt. "After, there was a holy war and creation of humanity. But instead of sharing the truth about their god, the spiteful demon of lies, the great Sidefall, decided to deceive humans, to turn them away from God's true way by placing fake dinosaur skeletons," preaches Banana with the passion of a man on a mission to die shitposting.

Not gonna lie, if Micro did not meet Banana beforehand and also did not know that the story itself originated from Saparata, their gullible guardian, he might have actually believed this story. But since it was from mr Saps, a person who gets scammed by everyone, he knows this is one is 100% a scam.

Also there is literally no religion that worships Ish. Like who the hell is this random guy.

And Mr Saparata would trust anyone. Like that one time when Mr Saps almost signed up for some scum's subscription on his phone only prevented by Neptune's rage.

It was very cinematic shot of phone being knocked out of his hand, sent flying to Banana, who doesn't catch it in the air, because he is a loser, and gets smacked by it right in the face. After laughing at his misfortune with Mr Saps fretting about their friend, Micro picks up a phone, only to hear a scum's inquiry.

He hangs up, gives Mr Saps another lecture on money safety only to return home next day to find out that the man gave the scammer his credit card information, because he believed that the criminal was feeling truly guilty and wanted to apologise by paying him back.

Honestly, at this point, he is not even sure how man is not homeless, instead he is somehow capable of supporting four teenagers straight out of a burnt orphanage (they do not talk about THE incident) and also apparently his newfound or oldfound husband.

And he took them on a vacation to a fucking island he owes. Truly, mr Saps is an enigma.

As he reminiscies about the past, remembering Mr Saparata fondly and quite annoyingly. Man shows up behind them, as if summoned, sneaking like a fucking ninja. "Boys," he starts behind them.

Man manages to startle Neptune so bad that he loses his balance and falls on Micro. Then Nep does amazing maneuver, worth of Tom Cruz's adventurous bullshit, he propels himself of his own brother's back to land back into safety. In turn, it sends Micro flying down the stairs.

So Micro does whatever he does best, he fucking makes sure he destroys every damn plant Neptine has on that corner of kitchen that stands opposite of the stairs. He swings his leg wide and crushes into them, flailing his hands in both panic and desire to destroy.

Loud sound reverberates house followed by Mr Saparata's worried voice and Neptune's demonic screeching directed at his dead and destroyed plants. Micro sends him smirk when their guardian turns away, clearly communicating that that leg sweep was fully on purpose.

Neptune being Neptunr jumps him.

 

It's only later when they both are put into time out, Banana shows up in the van together with Pazner, who mysteriously reappears out of nowhere.

His blond friend looks dazed, as if he was hit with major revelation like for example that Ish does not fucking exist and dinosaurs are not planted by a fucking Sidefall, god bless his stupid soul.

Yes, he is salty and petty. Neptune fucking bites!

"So," asks Pazner, "how did it go?"

"I.... think Mr Flux is a cool guy," whispers Banana, shocking everyone in the van.

"What?!"

"He said... He said that Sidefall was a Baba Vanga!" exclaims Banana with a fervour of a fanatic or scientist that discovered proof that dinosaurs did live on Earth. “He is the one behind the idea that we all died in 2012!”

"Banana," starts Panzer in that tone, the one that makes you feel stupid, "it's not true. There are scientific proof that dinosaurs existed including carbon dating method that literally shows amount of years passed since the death of animal,"
He explains impatiently and sternly like they all are stupid.. which they are, but there is no need to rub salt into the wound.

Banana frowns, actually looking upset now, "I believe them both... which is why I make sure that their marriage turns into a real one!"

After that insane declaration he runs away.
Its only because Micro and Neptune are shocked and in time out that they dont immediately tackle Banana down, ready to torture (read: tickle) him until he is forced to surrender.

Blond boy, being a smart and sleazy cookie, of course, runs away before they could, right into the safety under Mr Saparata's wing.

Coward.

"You know what it means?" suddenly asks Panzer.

"That we are gonna kill him," spits out Neptune.

"No. Think," urges the boy in glasses. Which is rude, because Micro does not want to actually think, he wants to beat Banana's ass. "Mr Saparata would not have come up with stuff like this on his own. Isn't it interesting that this guy, who already tricked him once, too believes in Sidefall?"

Micro feels shiver running through his body. His eyes meet Panzer's blue eyes, freezed by sudden realisation.

Fluxion is the one who they already know once scammed Saparata into marriage. So wouldn't that be convenient, wouldn't it just make sense if he also fooled the man twice by lying about creation of the world. He gulps down, realising now that their opponent might be tougher than they expected.

After all, he is not just a scummer, no, he is actually evil. Because if Mr Saparata ever talks about that belief of his in public, his public persona would be forever ruined, deemed as an idiot, condemned to the fate of average flat earther, mocked and bullied.

"No..." whispers Micro, shocked and disturbed, but as he meets Panzer's serious eyes, who came to this realisation first, who just nods. He meets this cruel realty face on. That nod just confirms their shared worst fears.

"So he is as stupid as Mr Saps," says Neptune out of nowhere, completely destroying the tension that filled Canadian cartel.

What the actual fuck.

"No, you are stupid! It means he is the one who tricked Mr Saps into believing in Sidefall's propaganda, you absolute fucking moron!" seethes Micro.

"Oh," says Neptune, overcome by realisation, then he continues, "well, you are stupid too,".

Because of course Nep cant leave the last word behind Micro. He meets eyes of Panzer trying to tell him 'you see the bullshit i have to deal with'. Panzer, of course, is not on the same wavelength, in fact, his wavelength is almost never directed at people and probably is connected to aliens made out of rock, sometimes colliding with flying satellites to show his genius to humans.

"We have to do something about that," says Micro resolutely, "and fast,".

He then stands up, completely ignoring his failed attempt to communicate with his brother.

What a fool he was for trying, its like his attempts to befriend any animal - a total and blatantly obvious failure.

Chapter Text

Saparata was not someone special or someone that stands out in the crowd, at least he doesnt think so. In fact, he took pride in being a very ordinary person and living an ordinary life especially considering he was an angel.
***
Saparata woke up from his slumber on the bed he shared with Flux. While none of them technically needed sleep, he still enjoyed quietness of his mind. And since it was an optimal time to rest for humans, it was a win-win situation. But now it was even better because Saps' human body really enjoyed Flux's warmth.

He finally understood why married couples often sleep together. As much as it pained angel to admit, that darn demon was right this time too.

Flux's human form was also surprisingly strong as he always tried to drag Saps back into bed, but angel managed to get out of octopus like limbs of his husband.

Maybe, Flux's human form was based on octopus. He is not sure why he would do that, but maybe its a demon thing since he often heard some of them saying that "lion does not concern himself with angels" or other nonsense Sidefall liked to spit.

To be fair, Panzer also said things like that but the kid was an advent reader.

Saps then goes down the stairs to brew himself a coffee. It was one of the most precious inventions of humanity. Caffeine was definitely one of the factors that made him stay in human realm rather than return to Pandora, a place where he was born.
Saps wasn't exiled or rather he wasn't anymore, but that incident left more unpleasant memories that good ones. And with time apart he grew rather distant with most folks there. It wasnt comfortable to be near those, who so easily berated him.

Of course, there were also those, who did support him but most of them perished in the holy war or days prior to it. And while he really liked Schpood, demon and his followers were often too extreme for Saparata's heart.

He still was somewhat annoyed that man insisted on inspiring Romans to be like him. Its not like they were offsprings of Greeks that Saps helped to raise.

Schpood thrived on violence and amusement. He was not a kind demon, but he still was a friend.

Which is more than he can ever say about his current husband.

As caffein kicked in, Saps finally feeled energized.

It was a beatiful day once again, even though no bird was singing near his house.

After drinking his first cup of coffee, man started preparing sandwiches for everyone to bring with them, humming under his nose some song Banana played yesterday from boys' van.

Soon Panzer came in, still in his pajamas with tired eyes. He immediately went to the stove, ready to join their typical morning routine of cooking for their little family.

He cracked a few eggs, yawning loudly without hiding his mouth behind the palm like he usually did. It warmed Saps to see how relaxed Panzer was near him that he felt safe enough to not be as meticolous as he often is.

"Did you sleep well?" Asked Saps.

"No, those idiots keeped me up until mid night with their arguing and then Neptune started snoring," complained boy as he fixed his glasses.

Saps hummed in response, letting boy let out his frustrations about his brothers. He read it was helpful to hear out teenagers feelings. Sometimes he chimed in or nodded to let the boy know, he was listening.

Although this strategy did not work on Micro and Banana, who were freaked out by his questions, it did work on Panzer and Neptune. That at least, it seemed to help them so Saps was happy to do it.

Their voices ringed in the air, annoyed but fond.

"Thank you for help, Panzer," said Saps as he ruffled boy's hair, which was a recomended behaviour towards any mammal like cats or humans. "You can start eating, I will wake up other boys and Flux,".

Boy nodded and made himself comfortable at the table.

With that he left one of his kids in the kitchen, content with their bonding.

A good relationship with guardian is crucial to development of human children.
***
He walked into kids' room, picking up some clothes from the floor on the way. Since it was purple, it was probably Micro's. He made a note to do laundry today as he opened curtains to let spring sun in.

There were immediate reactions, boys groaned in annoyance, most unwilling to wake up even if routine was a necessary thing to have for growing up boys.

Micro was the only one trying to stand up, blinking owlishly at him and murming something about a halo before promptly leaving for temporarily free bathroom. It was a bit of a competetion between boys even though they had two of those.

Saps wished him a good morning before turning his attention on two boys still in bed.

He started with Banana, since it was easier to convince him to wake up. Saps pulled blanket off his head, where boy tried to bury it further into the pillows like a scared ostrich did with sand.

"Come on, Banana, its a new day,"

"Yeah, a new day to suffer," boy mumbled before glaring at Saps for daring to interrupt his sleep.

"Dont be like that. Its the last day of school this year after that you guys will be free,"

"Can I, please, skip?" Banana pleaded with sad puppy eyes.

A trick Saps had to grow used too, otherwise he would have succumbed completely to boys' whims.

"No, you cannot," also it tugged something in his chest whenever he had to say no to any of the boys, Saparata knew he had to be firm in this aspect. School was crucial for both knowledge and socialisation.

"At least tell me you did not cook the breakfast," snarked Banana as he began to stand up.

Saps rolled his eyes, before turning his attention to Neptune. "You know very well that Panzer wouldnt let me cook,"

"Yeah. Well, he could end up sick any moment and then we also will because of food poisoning from your horrendous cooking," retorted Banana as he changed from his Shrek pajamas.

"Yeah, yeah. It was once! And besides now we have Flux, if Panzer couldnt cook, I would have asked him," replied Saps, tugging off Neptune's pillow of his head, which promted colourful curses.

"Would he even concern himself to cook for us peasants?"

"Why wouldn't he?" Asked Saps as pulls Neptune by his hands into sitting position. Boy threatened him bloody murder before finally getting out of the bed.
It was one of the thing Saps stood firmly about in their relationship, Flux had to help him with kids. Any problem they have between them cannot be brought up in front of them as they are prone to screaming and fighting, which might scare poor kids.

If they boys feel alienated from Flux, maybe he should talk to him.

Oh god, what if they see him as another father figure and Flux is ruining their development. What if they get traumatised from this-

What should he say to them when Fluixon inevitably leaves him behind. Maybe, he can convince him to be there for boys-

It won't fucking work.

Saps feels his body tremors, as he panics over what he can say to the boys. Should he say that Flux left for milk? He heard some kids saying stuff like this. Maybe, it would help-

"I hope you step on every lego manufactured in the last 20 years," Neptune cursed loudly before leaving to the bathroom. Banana took notice and started sprinting after him immediately, disregarding whatever he wanted to say.

After all, Neptune often took time in bathroom, prefering to take long showers to completely soak in like his precious plants.

He heard a crush and a string of another colourful cursing. Any other day Saps would have run to help them, but today he had to focus on his stupid human body.

It was trembling and struggling to breathe. It was annoying how affected it was anytime he felt any sense of panic.

Saps decided to ignore it, forcing himself to function and just hoping boys did not managed to break anything or hurt themselfes. After all the next task he needed to complete required him to be strong.

With all boys up, there was only one person left sleeping in the house.

Flux. His "husband" and the biggest pain in his ass.
***
He went downstairs and pleasantly noted that Micro was already eating, even if he was arguing with Panzer about something.

Saps quickly prepared another cup of coffee, this time with a few spoones of sugar and milk in it. He could never understand how Flux can drink such monstrosity.

In the meantime Banana joined the group. He seemed to have a new bruise on his knee. It looked painful, Saps had to force his hands to be more still.

Honestly, human bodies can be annoying sometimes.

"What was that crash?" He asked, using his more serious tone, refusing to let his words tremble. He should have turned to them, eye contact was good for humans. And yet he couldn't bear the possibility of boys seeing his pathethic self.

A guardian has to be strong, so kids can feel safe in his presense, so they can rely on him. And boys needed an adult in their life that they could trust fully.

He can't break this facadę, can't show how scared he is that Flux will hurt them like he once hurt him, betraying their bond.

Saps forces himself to smile, takes a little breathe in and pretends he is fine. He finishes steering coffee and turns back to boys, cheerful smile on his face.

He can't lose their trust, can't lose another person he cares about, not like this. And maybe one day they will leave him behind like everyone else did whether it would be death or unwillingess to associate themselfes with him. It would be fine as long as boys can be happy.

(Besides, its not like he can die)

"I, well," started Banana, stuttering for a second, before calming down and straigtening his posture. Saps with a hint of shock noted that this gesture was a shadow of Flux's behaviour. He too often stood tall and proud whenever he had to explain another bullshit scheme of his.

"I had to run ahead of Neptune, you know how he is in the mourning. But in the process I might have accidentally hit him and he retailated with a push, so I fell on the podium of your husband's stupid stalctite,"

"Oh, did you get hurt by the stone-" Saps asked, worry slipping in his voice. He was ready to run for first aid kid-

"Nah, I am fine, don't worry. Stone is also intact,"

"Fucking Flux and his stupid dripstones," grumbled Saps under his nose. What a freak. "I will tell him to move it out the way to the bathroom, but you also should look where you guys push each other,"

Maybe, he should tell them to stop fighting, but as far as he was aware it was a common behaviour between siblings. As long as they don't hurt each other badly, it should be okay.

"Alright, I am gonna wake him up. You boys continue eating,"

"Yes, mom," retorted Banana, rolling his eyes. With each day he reminded him more of Flux the way he speaks and gestures, dramatic.

But now he had to focus on Flux, leaving behind kids on their own. He trusted that Panzer would call for him if anything bad happened.
***
Flux always had hard time waking up in his human form. But since coffee was invented, it became easier for him to do so, which is why Saps started to prepare it for him in the mournings.

In their room other man was sleeeping, hugging Saps pillow tightly, wrapping his limbs around it like he did before with angel.

Saparata put a mug on the bedside table on Flux's side and turned away to open curtains, he lets his wings materialise before creating some gentle wind current with them to will aroma of newly prepared coffee towards Flux.

Man adorably started perking up, eyes blinking owlishly. Saps smiled at him, hiding his wings once more, and stepping forward towards their bed.

Despite his distrust with Flux, he could never refuse him his wants. Maybe, Saparata was just a fool, who still cared.

Morning sun reflected on his raven hair, making him look divine. His purpur eyes gained intelligence with each sip of coffee, it was as if perfectly sculpted marble stasue came to life.

It was a quiet and short moment, where Flux did not have his walls up, where he was truthful with Saps without any trickery or scamming.

When he showed how tired he was, how delighted coffee that Saps prepared made him, its was a nice to see him so human.

But then his face regained it stoic facadę it usually has, hiding softness behind it, locking his heart behind irom doors.

It was a clue for Saps to head down, to stop lingering in the presense of someone who doesn't care about him like a total fool he was.

His chest ached for some reason. But he has long grown to associate it with Flux.

It always seemed to overcome him whenever he was near man.

Chapter Text

Humans were interesting creatures, they were both capable of extreme acts of kindness and violence of greed. Yet all of them obey one thing without question.

Money.

Silly papers that stopped meaning something the day they weren’t equivalent to gold, governments printing them left and right to support their needs. Naturally as demon Flux had to capitalise on it. As human civilisation evolved one thing became even clearer to Fluixon, it was that the rich hold the power in this world. And now with both demons and angels turning their bored minds towards human world, he had control over them.

Conspiracy was a company he created long time ago, it meant to represent unity as it’s origins in Latin suggest, translating roughly to “breathing together”. Of course, Flux chose that name intentionally, to pull on sense of community people, to inspire loyalty. Nowadays, the name means something else, but it suits his company even more.

Fluixon looks through his usual paperwork, curious to see why Sitzkreig of all people requested to have an identity to be created. It seems even old dogs are interested in human realm nowadays. Angel seemed to have lost interest since the fall from the grace of Ancient Greece, as it followed fate of their divine founders falling apart from infighting.

He doesn’t know what old man could be planning, but he was one of few angels that did agreed with Fluixon when he was, he too saw the threat of other races. It doesn’t matter very much now, considering he fell to the depths of Yggdrasil, his wings turned dipped into charcoal. But out of old respect he approves and signs up for his identity to be flashed out and even throws a pocket exchange worth of money.

Next page is… well.. it’s Schpood.

Now, as a demon he is quite special one, a man who created Roman empire, one of the very few demons who were heavily involved with humanity. He is a powerful person, having a cabal of imbecile young devils following him around like he is some kind of pop star.

Flux still denies him entry, rejecting his threats of violence. He, by no means, controls demons or angels, but without proper backstory or funds most of them are usually easily recognisable from typical mortal population, it makes them stand out, violating rules of their realm.

Schpood, of course, tried to get into human world on his own, but failed spectacularly that he was placed into psychic ward for narcissism and delusional disorder since only DayBreak media supported his claims of being the first true emperor of Anceint Rome.

It was quite a funny spectacular to watch, but considering that Blue Cross, a so-called non-profit organisation that helps demons and angels integration into society, lacked resources to get him out, since Schpood was considered a quite interesting research subject, making scientists talk of discoveries of new disorder named after him, it fell to Flux’s hands to stop this disaster.

Now, Flux does enjoy having control over most of angels and demons integrated into society, as he was the one who created and established their identities, of course, he did not do that for free and made them sign quite a useful (for him) contract, but he wasn’t able to control everyone.

Actually, there was precisely one person who was established and wealth outside of his sphere of influence. It was one and only Saparata.

He was always a pain in the Flux’s ass, ever since they were first created in Pandora all that millennials ago, and now when Fluxion had basically global domination over human realm, money do rule the world after all and he has the biggest amount of them all, Saps still remained an independent person.

Here is the thing, Schpood wants to visit humans for a couple of reasons and one of them is that damn angel. And Flux can’t have it, can’t let those old allies reunite, not when it could give Schpood and his goons an access to human realm’s riches.

Totally not because he hates the way Schpood is physical with that idiot of an angel, who the hell even cares about such things, their true forms technically couldn’t even be touched.

And it’s entirely possible because despite Saps lack of interest in literally anything substantial, he has uncanny ability for finance and business. If Flux didn’t know any better, he would have suspected that Saps’ power lies in this six sense.

His right wing throbs with pain, it usually means there is going to be storm soon. It’s ridiculous how even his inhumane features retained properties of human’s body, a phantom pain in a place that was destroyed, burned when he was falling.

Yes, he more aware than most of Saparata’s power. His burned right wing is a true testament to this, perhaps, he did deserve it, yet it still is a painful reminder of another thing he lost.

He frowns as he looks up his computer, a window opened on the map with bright red dot on it signalling angel’s location. He clenches his fists, staring at the icon of a man. It’s a goofy picture of his where he smiles fondly at one of his idiot humanlings. Flux finds himself wishing to caress the picture of him on his computer, a useless feeling to have.

He doesn’t do it, forces himself to focus on papers in front of him even as a bright red pin remains in one place on the map.

**

Saparata was a special case, he technically was a first divine being that decided to mingle with humans. He was there when Elanuelo, another demon Flux quite admires, created concept of money, becoming a father of burocracy. For that he was often a targeted by curses from all living beings except maybe Flux, who admired ingenuity and used it very well.

Angel also was there and even present when Elanuelo died to Turkey allergy, which is how they all learn that by turning tangible and visible to humans, they gained properties of their bodies like allergies. Of course, humans were too stupid back then to know what allergy is, which is why they deemed Saparata a witch and wanted to hunt him down, thus starting the first ever witch hunt.

If there is one thing Flux hates about Elanuelo is that he died in the same place Saps was visiting and him being the only outsider with literally overworldly beauty, he was blamed for demon’s death. That day forever changed human Europe and Saps’ life. Since then angel refused to be mistaken for a woman, which is ridiculous in itself since neither of them are capable of having reproductive organs that do usually indicate human’s sex or, well, in most cases since concept of transgenders exists. Flux does not particularly care what humans call themselves or what they do or who, but supporting pride gives his company a good reputation and his association with eco-organisation Infernus also boosts it, therefore it brings him money and control. So yes. Flux supports LGBTQ people or what they call themselves nowadays.

Besides, he finds some people’ disgust rather ridiculous since one of the oldest marriage Flux had with Saps happened in ancient Mesopothamia and it was between them as males or at least considered that way by human standards. Not that human’s opinion ever change his ability to marry Saps, since he did have a few certificated signed and blessed by some of the popes he paid long time ago, even though Saps was written a female there most of the times. He doubts angel even noticed anyway.

But, well, since the whole incident with witch hunt Saparata refused to be considered female, shivering with chills every time Flux reminded him of that. It was quite hilarious honestly, he even invited Saps to see an opera play that he employed some guy named Ish to write about him, it was ridiculous, really.

Flux doesn’t have issue with that nor does he care that some of his birth certificates state him as a woman, which is stupid since he is demon first and foremost, yet there is one thing loss of which he laments. And it’s Saps refusal since then to have longer hair.

Of course, short hair does suit him as well, but demon can’t help but miss the way his long white strands were framing his face back then.

Red dot starts to move on the screen, signalling to Flux that Saps is done for the day, meaning that brats are done as well. He stands up as well, leaving never-ending paperwork behind. Technically, Flux does not have to do it, but he does enjoy it, especially, rejecting Schpood advances towards human realm.

**

Marriage was a human concept created to signify people’ loyalty to each other, but it’s not the reason why Flux tied knots with Saparata. No, it was a way to leash the wandering angel, to connect him to demon, so he could monitor his moves, so he wouldn’t disappear again.

It did not work that well before, of course, since Saps was and will forever be a slippery bastard that refuses to settle and stay in one place long enough, travelling around the world as if he searched for some treasure.

So, of course, he had to investigate when Saps, of all people, decided to adopt human children.

It wasn’t uncommon for him to help them, to be part of their groups as he guided them to safety. But it was another thing for him to actively participate in someone’ life, staying with them longer. Flux didn’t particularly care when Saps decided to settle in Harbourbloom 16 years ago, he did that from time to time and sure 16 years were quite long for an angel, but it wasn’t something that much out of ordinary.

Kids were.

When he first got information about that Snowbird, he scoffed at it deeming it ridiculous. Then as it was confirmed by Thomas, he thought nothing of it, since it wasn’t unusual for angel to be so altruistic. Alarm ringed in his brain only when they stayed with Saps for a year and one of them, Panzer, called Saps “dad”, a term od endearment used in families, usually representing the closeness of them.

That… that was something else entirely.

He forsake his meeting with Cynikka, he did not care to hear more about thousand year cycle of Iceland’s ring of volcanos, he will give her money as long as she gets him positive PR. Flux jumped into the first plain, lamenting his wings disfunctions. He could still fly, but not for long. And Harberbloom was far from volcano nation.

Besides, Flux was certain that Luigi, or whatever was that human name, was just a mortal, he couldn’t ever hurt Cynikka, so why bother with him?

**

When he arrived into the city he was immediately ushered into mayor’s office, considering his pretence of his presence in Harberbloom was his desire to support locals and invest in their markets. It wasn’t unusual for him to meet political figures all around the world, he did own the most successful company and the richest bank after all. What was difference is intelligence in Cass’ eyes as she wasn’t that eager to be suddenly included into Conspiracy’s expansion plans.

Of course, Flux had a whole presentation ready explaining his reason for choosing this city in particular, he does it with every place Saps stays longer than a month.

It was rare to find such keen mind amongst any race, stupidity was perhaps the only trait they all share. So he found himself quite intrigued and annoyed at opposition he was presented with, they went back and worth wasn’t until Cass’ finance consultant arrived.

Saps has changed, he still was beautiful, pale skin and short white hair, two little moles on his face right under his golden eyes. Flux always wondered how in the world no one suspected him to be something other than human, he stood out too much. People called humans like him an unprecedent beauty, the ones that started war during ancient times.

Yet he looked softer, his shoulders were no longer tense as if some burden fell from them, an Atlas finally relived of his burden. He smiles brightly at Flux, eyes widening in surprise, joyful smile danced on his lips, still dry and chapped.

“Flux,” he exclaimed before rushing in for a hug.

They haven’t meet since Saps’ adventure through Amazon’s forest, like the absolute maniac he is, while demon himself was busy leading a cult or rather scamming some people. They all end up worshipping Saps, but, well, it’s been several decades since then and angel left quite annoyed at being called a god.

He didn’t anticipate such warm welcome, he prepared thousands reason behind his stay in the city and yet it seemed like none of them mattered, not when Saps welcomed him warmly.
It was, perhaps, the warmest welcome he had since the day he chose his people over the angel.

Ah, this is what was different about this version of his oldest friend.

He looked happy… carefree in way Flux haven’t seen in so long, he found himself missing those times unknowingly. Guilt squeezed his heart, pain pulsating inside.
He knew who took away this freedom from Saparata.

“Haven’t seen you in years,” let go angel, leaving demon lamenting loss of his warmth. His golden eyes wondering around his figure, no doubt searching for any changes.

Flux chuckled, he felt his invisible wings preening in pride, it was nice to have his attention of him. By the corner of his eyes he saw shocked Cass, it seems Saps once more forgot to tell of his martial status. He narrowed his eyes, it seems like he needed to correct it.

“Is it so bad of me to visit my husband?” he said, throwing a glance at Cass, taking in her shocked impression. Good, she needs to know that angel isn’t for humans.

“Oh, I forgot about that,” Saps laughed, “let’s catch up!”

**

It went smoothy until Flux made a mistake, he inquired about children and it changed Saparata’s whole demeanour. Gone was happy and carefree human professor, his place was taken by a true angel warrior, a legendary leader of Theria. His eyes seemed to be full of flames, golden hue switched closer to orange, eyebrows narrowed in concentration.

Flux’s wings shook, he has to roll his shoulders to get rid of memory of flames licking his feet. His right wing stinged in a place, where his feathers were torched and burnt by the sword of his companion. Saps lead them away from people, signalling to Flux his willingness to show his divine features.

Well, demon won’t be against it either, the sight of his right wing always managed to tire out rage of his angel. Regret and guilt were useful things after all, and Saps was always too nice for his own good.

But it didn’t work this time, not when Saps slammed him into a wall, pristine white wings spread in their glory, they made him look bigger like a threat to be reckon with instead of his usually harmless appearance, a predator pretending to be a prey.

He still seems to despise Saps’ willingness to get down on human level, to mingle with them, pretending to be something he is not, refusing to use his powers even if he was chased by witch hunters, when just a swing of his sword could have turned them into ashes.

However, he can’t help but admit that contrast and shading the skin of innocence to show his true powers made quite a pretty show. Only Saps seems to forget that he isn’t the only predator here, yes, he maybe stronger one but Flux never hunts by himself.

“Wouldn’t it be a shame if Thomas talks with them,” he purrs out, seeing Saps’ eyes twitch in irritation. Anger suited him just as well as joy.

“Should have known you are not here for a chit-chat,” murmurs angel under his breath, letting him go. Flux purposefully winces, holding his right shoulder, he doesn’t miss the way Saps’ face twists in sorrow for a few seconds.

It’s a sweet reward for being thrown into a wall, even if his wings are unharmed.

“What do you want, Flux?”

“Did you know that married couple usually live together,” he inquires instead, seeing dots connecting on Saps’ face, he always read well between the lines.

“No,”

“Really?” that’s interesting, Saps seems adamant to keep him away from kids, it makes Flux want to dig more, to unravel secrets angel hides.

“You can’t just-,” starts white-haired beauty, golden eyes looking down as he clenches his fists in frustration. He raises his head, determination framing his face as wind sweeps his hair, letting it form a sort of halo around him.

“I don’t know what you are planning, but if you want to stay, you have to actually stay for long,” Flux feels his breath hitching, why would angel- “Kids needs stability in their lives!”

Right, what else he expected from this imbecile who didn’t even notice when humans were hitting on him. He is well aware of his lack of romantic knowledge since none of their races are particularly interested in such endeavours, but his irritation spikes whenever some foolish mortal dares to flirt with angel, as if his eyes even deserve to look at him.

“What,” he says instead, buying himself time to calm his racing heart. Stupid human body, is he allergic to Saps or something? Would he die too like damn Elanuelo because he ate the turkey, that shit on him, out of spite?

“Kids needs stability,” repeats Saps as if Flux is deaf, “and you… travel a lot, so if you want to live together as husbands, you have to be there,”

That’s a reasonable request even if absurd to come from Saps, who is the one running, leaving Flux chasing over his ghosts.

“Is this why you are staying here for so long?” Saparata bristles like a little bird, raising his wings higher in pathetic attempt at intimidation. He never managed to look scary the moment anger left his body, he started to resemble a particularly fat sparrow. It was cute in pitiful way.

“Yeah, kids have no one… and well…”

It made sense that Saps felt responsibility to look after those children, considering he did save them from dying in plane crash 16 years ago. If they were in orphanage it would explain angel’s recent investment in volunteer work. He always tried to help out, but usually it was him ignoring people stealing money from him rather than active participation.

Maybe, seeing them as babies changed something in Saps, pulled on his sense of duty. He heard that new-borns have that affect on human bodies, perhaps, it played it’s role in angel like Flux’s tachycardia whenever angel was in close proximity to him.

Still staying in one place would be quite challenging, since Flux was a CEO of Conspiracy, the Architect behind whole business-

“Just for one year until kids are adults,” presses Saps.

It could be doable, he can get to see angel everyday for a whole year, bask in his presence and investigate reasons behind his husband’s change. Perhaps, he can get even something more if he plays his hands just right.

Well, it’s a good thing Poker was an easy game for him.

“The reason I am here is because you are my husband,” he starts, lowering his voice and signing dramatically, putting all his tiredness into it, “People started to doubt that we are together,”
“We aren’t,” answer Saps because clearly he has no regard towards humanity. Or perhaps he lacks patience for Flux’s dramatic monologues. Too bad for him, it was one of the best human inventions. Public speaking.

“Indeed, which is why we need to prove that we are,”

“Why can’t we just get divorce?” poor naïve Saps, just because they will divorce in this country, it doesn’t mean they will stop being married in others. He did, after all, forged angel’s government signature on every marriage certificate he could get his hands on.

“Because of tax benefits,” he says instead, making Saps groan in annoyance. It’s after all the exact reason he managed to convince man to sign papers in the first place along with promise to take care of his taxes in exchange, beneficial for both of them even if Flux gained a tiny bit more.

“Fine, but you have to be nice to kids,” agrees angel, before grabbing him by a collar and dragging him closer, “and if you hurt them, your pretty feathers wouldn’t be the only thing I will burn,” he finishes by tapping his chest, where human’s hearts are located. It’s clearly a threat.

“Wouldn’t have dreamt of it, husband,” smirks Flux as he fixes his coat after this whole dramatic scene.

Stupid Saps probably unaware that Flux’s heart is already burning as he is clearly allergic to his angel. Definitely, considering his cheeks heat up and blood rushes to his ears.

God damn it.

At least, it’s a fucking turkey that shat on him that killed him, pissing on demon’s grave from beyond its own.