Archive of Our Own

Scott heard the front door open and ran downstairs. His mom looked good, a bit tan, smiling, all the stress and worry gone from her shoulders. She smelled happy. Scott hugged her tightly, even picked her up and spun her around. "Mom!"

"I missed you too," she said, laughing at him, but in a nice way. "Got you a souvenir."

"Thanks." He put her down. "You look a lot better."

"Oh, I was looking bad?" She smiled and lightly swatted him, "good to know."

Scott winced a bit. "No, you could never look bad. Just you know, better? Vacation agrees with you."

"I had a great time, good food, salsa dancing, getting to know people."

Scott blinked. She was blushing. His mom had had a vacation hook up. He knew his mom had had vacation sex. He tried to smile, but it was a bit sickly and awkward. "That's great," he managed to say.

"We actually need to talk about that Scott."

"Did you get an std, are you pregnant? You are too old to be pregnant!" Scott shouted, and then shut his mouth when she glared at him. "Aren't you?"

"No, Scott, I am not pregnant, but now you get extra sex education, because of the too old statement. Don't want you having an oopsie baby in your forties do we?"

Scott was in hell. "Stiles has to have the sex ed too."

"Why?"

"Because he probably just does?" He was not suffering through this alone. That got a nod of agreement and good. She had made he and Stiles learn how to put condoms on together, learn about consent together, and how periods and everything worked. He got a refresher —Stiles was getting a refresher.

"We'll talk at dinner, how about the diner?"

"Sure?" Scott frowned, but agreed. He pretended to do homework and texted Allison. She was excited because her dad was going to be home that night from his hunter conference. They had had a really good time both their parents away, and maybe he was going to miss sleeping with Allison tonight, but it was also good to have his mom back.

At the diner, she was really weird. Like nervous and stuff. Rambling which she generally didn't do. "Mom?" he said after the same story of a pyramid for the third time. "What happened?"

She deflated a bit. "I took a leap, like you said I should do."

Scott stared at her. "I meant like kiss a guy?"

"I ran into Chris Argent, second day of the trip," she said. "He was staying at a hotel a block over, for a conference."

"Yeah," he said slowly. "Oh no."

"Yup, we realized we both were away and went that meant was likely happening. We decided to ignore it. You didn't do anything that we couldn't ignore, did you?"

"No ma'am," his voice squeaked a bit more than he liked. "We studied the whole time."

"Hmm," she smirked a bit, "anyways, Chris and I spent some time together. A lot of time actually. And it was nice Scott," she was smiling, all soft and happy. Which was good. It was nice to see his mom all soft and happy.

And maybe that meant she was ready to really date. He and Stiles could begin plan officially brothers. "That's good, Mom. Maybe we should have Stiles and his dad over for dinner soon?"

There was a bit of a laugh, "Scott, how many times have Noah and I told the two of you, we're not interested in each other that way?"

"But you don't know, if you went on a date, maybe you would realize how much you click. He's nice. You're nice."

"He also has made it clear that he is interested in someone else," she was shaking her head, "I've been trying to get Noah to ask the man out."

"Man?" Scott squeaked. "What man, a man?" He pulls his phone out and texts Stiles to find out if he knew his dad was bi. There was a text back that just said that explained a few things. Okay, they were so talking later. "Oh, well, I guess that's good? But really maybe —"

"Scott, Chris and I eloped the last day of the trip," was blurted out.

"Maybe you won't date Stiles' dad," was all he could say. They stared at each other, barely noticing when their plates were swept away. "I…what?" His mom had said words, and he didn't understand them.

"Chris and I clicked, baby," she sounded so helpless. "He made me feel like I mattered."

"You matter," he protested, "you matter the most of anyone. You matter more than Allison," it was the highest compliment he could think to give.

"Thanks," she reached out, cupped his jaw, "And Chris said it was nice to be with someone who understood how the world really was, but also wasn't a part of his side of it."

"Okay?"

"We just…healed each other, and I thought that would be it, vacation fling checked off the bucket list. But the last day, he looked at me, and said marry me. I can't go back without you. And I said yes. Didn't think about it, and you know how I overthink everything. I just said yes. And we got married."

"Uh-huh," Scott could not process it. She was tense though, scared. And he never wanted his mom to be scared. "If you are happy, I'm happy."

There was a sigh of relief. "Thank you. And I know it will be awkward, but he and I agreed, fresh start, selling both houses and moving into a new one."

"WHAT?" Scott shouted. Several heads turned their way. "What?" he tried for in a more casual voice.

"Did you think we'd stay in separate houses?"

"No?" Yes. Scott thought about it. "Why can't they just move in with us? There is room. And our house is nicer."

"Sweetie, their house is almost double the size of ours."

"But it is cold, mean. Ours is nice."

"Well, Chris did say I provide a lot of warmth he isn't used to. He loved his wife, but I think perhaps she was —"

"Batshit insane?" Scott muttered.

"Hey," she chided, "but also yes. He needs someone a little more chill. And after your father, I need someone who wants to be around."

Scott nodded at that, understanding completely. Chris cared a lot about his job as a hunter, but didn't care about it to the exclusion of family. He hated it, but also another year and he'd be off to college, so he'd be a real dick if he fought this. "Okay," he agreed.

"And I know it will be awkward, but Chris and I will want to establish some ground rules about you and Allison now that you'll be living together."

"Huh?" Scott was lost yet again. His brain couldn't quite get there. "Wait…this means that Allison and I are —"

"Siblings, step siblings. We know it makes things…delicate…but if we all work together we can navigate this."

Scott looked at his mom. "I need Stiles."

"Oh, I sort of thought you would say Allison there."

"Stiles," he choked out. It felt like he was having an asthma attack. "Bye." He ran and did not care, he'd apologize later. He ran to Stiles' house and up the tree to go through the window. "Stiles!"

He frowned because Stiles was not there. He pulled out his phone and called. "Where are you? I'm in your room, and you aren't!"

"Oh, Derek needed help unravelling a knot." Stiles sounded a little breathless. "What's up? You need me?"

There was a growl in the background. "Excuse me?" was said and Scott rolled his eyes at Derek.

"Hey, if Scott needs me, you can wait."

"Allison and I are siblings!" Scott shouted.

"What?" Stiles' voice was calm. "What do you mean?"

"I mean Mom, out of nowhere, freaking married Chris Argent while on vacation and now she's talking about us living together and ground rules and dude, Allison is now my sister. Am I still allowed to touch her?" Scott was pretty sure he could. Step siblings wasn't a thing, but also he didn't know and maybe one of those ground rules was marriage trumped high ,school couples and they were going to be told they couldn't date. Again.

"Scottie, give me like three minutes and I'll call you back. Just need to get Derek to calm down. Make it four."

"Sure, can I —"

"Yeah, of course, my bed is your bed," Stiles reassured, without Scott needing to even finish the sentence. "Four minutes."

"Thanks," Scott breathed out. Stiles hung up, and he just waited.

Sure enough four minutes later, his phone was ringing. "Hey there, Derek is all calmed down now."

"Good," guy got so high strung, it was nuts. "Fix it."

"Yeah, sorry Scottie, but I don't think I can?"

"What?" Scott groaned, "what do you mean?"

"I mean, you know how your mom feels about family, and bonding and all that stuff. I think that she might truly consider Allison your big sis now. You are family, siblings. Any fun touching is now dirty bad wrong touching."

"But, we're seventeen! How is it bad? Not like we were raised as siblings and decided to start touching and stuff."

"I dunno Scott, you know how seriously your mom takes familial bonds."

Scott did know. And he wanted his mom to be happy. After his dad, after what he had put her through recently, she deserved to be happy. But he loved Allison, and he deserved to be happy too. And being happy meant touching Allison's tits. "But I was there first."

"I mean, I guess, you can still date Allison. I'm sure it wouldn't confuse people. Have them talking about you," Stiles said and oh god, Scott hadn't thought about that. "No no, it's fine, hey you can fuck Allison while her dad -oh sorry your dad- fucks your mom."

"Stiles!" Scott shuddered. "Dude, no."

"I mean, yeah Scottie, my guy. They'll be sleeping the same room, probably one between yours and Allison's. Man, what your wolfie hearing will hear. But you can sneak by and go into your big sis' room, and touch those boobs. I'm sure no one will judge you. It's fine, I am sure, no bad touches there."

"Exactly," Scott agreed, but hesitated. "Would you judge me?" Because as long as Stiles was on his side, he could handle this. He heard voice in the background. "God, are Peter and Derek fighting again?" There was a shout and a groan. He winced, "maybe you should get in the middle of that?"

"You know, when you are right Scottie, you are right. I really should be in the middle there, breaking them up a bit. Listen, you know I'll always support you when you do the bad touches, because I got you."

"They aren't bad touches, she isn't my sister!"

"Of course, you keep telling yourself that, so that you can believe it when you tell your mom," Stiles said, "stand in your conviction that you aren't doing something that society would deem problematic at best. I got your back. Peter, will you calm down for five seconds? I gotta go bud, you go home, don't worry your mom. And say hi to your big sis, I mean Allison, when you call her later."

"Bye," Scott said faintly.

He left Stiles' room and went home. He saw his mom in the living room, gave her a wave and she was smiling on the phone, probably talking to Chris. She looked so happy, he didn't want to disappoint her. He went up to his room and tried to think of a way to be with Allison, that wouldn't also be creepy wrong, bad touch, as Stiles called it.

Scott stared at Allison in class. They hadn't actually talked about it yet. But they would have to, to figure it all out. Stiles was next to him and kept giving him sympathetic looks. Only there was also slight shaking of his head, which meant that Stiles was judging him.

Not like judging judging, because Stiles swore to always have his back, and Scott knew he meant it. But if Stiles who he knew watched beta shift werewolf porn thought maybe it was a bit hinky, maybe it was.

But Allison looked so cute in the skirt and boots, and he just wanted to lick her legs. Her knee was ticklish. He wanted to make her laugh.

There was a snort from two aisles over and Scott ducked a bit, because Isaac was probably smelling Scott's arousal. Scott tried to focus on school, because he needed to get on his mom's good side right now, and that meant not failing any of his classes.

The day took forever and after practice, Allison was standing outside the locker room. She came over to him, kissed him, and she smelled so good.

Stiles walked by, and was singing a song about bad touch.

Scott immediately moved away from Allison. "We should talk. Did your dad talk to you?"

"He did," Allison said and they started walking down the hall to leave the school. "It was a shock, and I got a bit mad. Not that I don't like your mother, it was just so…"

"Sudden?" Scott filled in and got a nod. When they were outside, he noticed Derek and Peter leaned up against Stiles jeep. "Man, they are really bothering Stiles a lot right now to help their research." He frowned when Peter snapped teeth at Stiles, and frowned more when Derek glared at Stiles. "What is their problem?" He was ready to go over and remind them that they didn't get to be mean to Stiles, but they all got in the jeep and drove off before he could. "What is up with all of them recently?"

"Scott, focus," Allison said.

Right, the parent problem. "I want my mom to be happy."

"I want my dad to be happy. It's just so soon after Mom."

Scott tried really hard not to badmouth Allison's mom, since he never had actually told her, hey, your mom tried to kill me. Allison was dealing with enough and he could let that go. Besides it was really Derek's fault she was dead, so easy to just ignore. "What does it mean for us? Did your dad tell you about new house?"

"Yeah, I'm fine with that, I don't want your mom in my mom's bed."

Scott thought that made sense. But also, "I'm not great with that. Lived in our house my whole life. It's a good house."

"It is," she said, "but cluttered. No room for me and dad in all that you two."

Scott scowled a bit, but also it was fair enough. "So we'll be living together. With our parents. Who are now married."

Allison moved closer, "now I don't hate the idea of us being that close."

"Close," he said a bit faintly. "Like how close?"

"Brother and sister close, right next door to each other." She was leaning in to kiss him and he couldn't focus on the next door to each other, too distracted by the fact that she called them brother and sister. Oh god, they were going to be siblings. Stiles was right. It was bad touches.

"I gotta go," Scott mumbled and ran to his bike, revved it to hurry home. Where he saw his mom and Christ hugging in the kitchen as his mom was prepping food. Chris kissing his mom's neck.

He ignored it, and ran upstairs to his room.

Scott flopped on his bed, why was he suffering more than anyone else in the world? He picked up his phone and dialed. When it was answered he didn't even wait for Stiles to say anything, just started rambling about the hell that was his life. Stiles would make it better.

"Scott," was said, and that was not Stiles' voice.

"Why are you answering Stiles' phone?"

"He's a bit tied up at the moment, asked me to answer it," Peter's voice was smarmy and gross as ever. "He said you are going through a crisis of conscience, and I want to help."

"You?" Scott had to laugh. "You have a conscience?"

"Why don't you tell Uncle Peter everything that is wrong?" was crooned and it was so gross when Peter called himself that. "Let me help you while Stiles is tied up."

"Does Derek still have him doing research? Nothing is even bothering us right now?"

"Stiles is having to give his full attention to Derek at the moment, and Derek would be upset if that changed."

"I'm going to talk to Derek about how much he is using Stiles these days."

"I promise the using goes all ways, now what are you struggling with Scott?"

Scott sighed and hated it but he found himself telling Peter. Peter just had a mojo where even if you didn't want to, you just spilled your secrets.

"Now, Scott, I'm here to reassure you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you continuing your relationship with Allison."

"Thank you!" Scott was relieved. Then he paused, "wait…what?"

"Scott, you know I would never side with you, frankly I find you uninteresting as a human and wolf. It is my eternal disappointment that I turned you. But we all endure. So knowing that I do not care about your emotional well being at all, you know I am serious and mean it when I say you would do nothing wrong fucking Allison, your new sister."

Peter thought it was okay, Scott realized with dawning horror. Peter thought it was fine, which meant it was absolutely a bad thing for him to keep dating Allison. That was the rule in the pack —if Peter said it was okay, you knew it was bad! Okay maybe not the pack, but it was definitely his and Allison's rule. It was a good rule.

"You think me and Allison is fine even if our parents are now married?"

"Certainly, what could be wrong about it? You are nearly adults, and your parents have to understand you came first, though of course I do hope that you gave that pleasure to Allison."

"Huh?"

There was a sigh, "Stiles really got all of the charisma and clever, didn't he?" Scott heard Stiles make a noise in the background.

"Now now, you hush and get back to work until Derek is satisfied. I have a very good treat for you, if you do everything Derek wants."

"God, do you have to make everything sound kinky?" Scott made a face. "But you think me and Allison is fine."

"I prefer not to think about the two of you at all, but yes, in my mind, there is not a thing wrong with the two of you continuing your relationship under the same roof. Taking the same last name as siblings, or later when you marry, what's the difference?"

"I gotta go," Scott said.

"Yes, I should make sure Stiles behaves."

"Stop trying to be weird to bug me." Scott hug up. Peter was on his side. He was in so much trouble. His mom called him down for dinner and he just shouted back he had too much homework, he'd eat later. No way could he meet Chris' gaze right now.

He was in hell.

Hell got a new definition every day, with today being the worst because they were all house hunting together. His mom was so excited about it, and Chris kept looking at her with this warm and soft gaze. He hadn't even known Chris could look that soft.

They still had sort of avoided talking about some of the ramifications of all of this. And every time Allison suggested they go for a drive, Scott gave an excuse. He knew he was hurting her, but it was hurting him too, staying away from her. But every time he thought about kissing her, he thought about Stiles saying bad touch and he stopped.

The houses were okay he guessed, he didn't care much. Or he cared a lot but also knew his opinion didn't really matter.

But there was one house that actually he didn't hate. It was bigger than his and mom's but smaller than Chris and Allison's. It wasn't stupid white or grey, but more like a latte colour.

And it had a full little apartment in the basement.

"Ooh, actually, we could live down here," Melissa said.

"This in generally an in-law suite, the master bedroom upstairs is gorgeous," the realtor said.

"I work night shifts regularly," his mom said. "Down here, will actually be dark for sleeping and quiet, if the kids are having friends in their room. Stiles, god bless him, not quiet."

"That works for me," Chris agreed. "We could turn the master bedroom into a study. Good for the two of you for homework, me for dealing with…negotiations."

"I don't hate the idea of a couple floors separating me from you," Allison agreed and Scott felt it was a bit of a dig at his mom, but he didn't question it and neither did his mom, though Chris gave a pointed look. The backyard was huge. Good for working out, for Allison to practice hitting targets.

He wasn't surprised when Chris said they would take it.

"How about we all go to dinner to celebrate finding a house?" Chris suggested.

Allison smiled, "I think Scott and I are going over to Lydia's?"

"No," Melissa said, "after dinner you can, but the four of us need to talk, now that we are moving forward."

"But I promised Lydia," Allison protested.

Scott knew she hadn't and honestly better to just get this conversation over with. "Lydia won't mind an hour delay."

They went out and it was painfully awkward. No one wanted to start the conversation.

Finally Chris sighed, "Melissa and I have talked about this in depth, trying to find the right balance."

"I mean, it is easy, you two do what you want, and we'll do what we want," Allison said.

Chris just raised a brow, "no, no I don't think that is how this will work. We aren't asking you to break up, or anything. But there will not be a single room for the two of you right now. And you will both sleep in your own beds."

"Dad!" Allison looked ready to rage, but honestly they hadn't been told to break up, or that they couldn't…do things, just a bit of distance.

"Okay," Scott agreed. "That seems reasonable."

"It does?" Allison glared at him a bit. "Why are you being like this?"

"Like what?" Scott had an idea but also maybe they shouldn't talk about it, in front of their parents. In a restaurant. "We should go to Lydia's."

"You knew I made that up to avoid this exact moment. Is this your idea?" Allison was glaring at his mom and that pissed him off.

"Yes," Melissa replied calmly, "and Chris'. We talked. And planned and tried to think of the best way to handle this."

"The best way to handle this was for you two to not getting married after three nights of tequila fuelled hook up on vacation!" Allison started to storm off.

"Apologize," Chris ordered.

"No," Allison snapped, "you two have ruined our lives for the last time." She was looking at Scott, and Scott was confused. "We're leaving?"

"Oh. We are? But dessert?"

"Wow," Allison said and left.

"Son," Melissa was giving him a look. "Yeah, honey, you follow when your girl is that mad, and expects you to stand with her."

"But she's mad at you?" Scott didn't know what to do. Because everyone was wrong and everyone was right. "Why couldn't you just date?"

"Because if we did, we wouldn't have made it," Chris said after a moment. "Sometimes you just have to leap."

Scott could understand that, he had told his mom to take a leap when she had been deciding to go on the trip. "I hate that I haven't had time to adjust, but Mom smiles more and that is good. We'll follow the rules."

"Thank you, now go after her."

Scott hurried out of the restaurant but Allison was gone. He texted that he loved her, and texted Lydia to let her know to look after Allison. He didn't know what to do, but he knew where to go. He went to Stiles and the jeep wasn't there.

But the cruiser was, and he found himself knocking on the door. "Hey," he managed to say when the Sheriff opened it. Guy was in pajamas with a pint of ice cream. "I won't tell," he promised.

"You're looking rough, Scott, come on in." The sheriff opened the door more, and Scott went to the living room and flopped on the couch. The sheriff sat across from him, and was quiet, ate ice cream. Letting Scott stew; Scott knew it was an interrogation technique.

He cracked in two minutes. "I am so confused."

"A lot been going on," he agreed. "The supernatural or your mom remarrying, toss up which is more shocking."

"You can say that again and don't," Scott warned well used to the sheriff's dad humour. There was a laugh and another spoon of ice cream taken. A pat to his shoulder as ice cream was put away and when the sheriff came back an orange pop was handed to him. Stiles hated orange, it was just kept in the house for Scott.

Scott wondered how old the can was, because he hadn't been around as much recently. He wondered if the sheriff was mad that Stiles was in danger now all the time because of their friendship. But the sheriff looked as patient as ever. "Sir?"

"Yes, son?"

"Why didn't you and my mom ever date?"

"We know you two wanted us to," was said and a sigh, "but she was too tied to Claudia. When we hang out, I just remember hearing the two of them in the kitchen, laughing. It would have felt like cheating, even though I knew it wasn't. Also, your mom is a knock out, but just couldn't see us in bed together."

Scott shuddered a bit at the bluntness.

He heard a noise at the back. "Stiles?" he called out hopeful.

"No," Derek walked in. "He forgot a few things." Derek was looking at the sheriff.

"Go on, then," and a hand waved Derek upstairs.

Scott felt awkward. "Is Stiles not coming home tonight?"

"No, Isaac wanted Stiles to sleep over at the loft tonight. Good shot they are neck deep in video games and demanded the alpha go fetch." The sheriff shook his head at that. "Derek really shouldn't let Stiles bully him around like that."

"I can hear you," Derek said from the doorway holding a bag. "I'm leaving."

"Not without a proper good-bye you aren't," the sheriff stood and Scott stood to, because it would have felt weird to stay sitting. But he really didn't know what to do when Derek came over and kissed the sheriff's cheek. The sheriff gave a pack nuzzle and oh my god.

Oh my god, his mom had said the sheriff was interested in a guy. Holy shit, gross. Scott forgot any concerns he had about him and Allison and bad touching, because here was much worse touching. Scott wasn't doing bad touches, the sheriff was!

Stiles had just been giving his shit for like transference kind of stuff.

Derek left and Scott pointed at the sheriff. "Sir?" He squeaked.

"Yes?" The sheriff didn't even look guilty at being a…a…cradle robber. "Scott, you look like you are having something not click up there. Stiles told me you were worried about your relationship to Allison, but Scott, it's fine."

"I know it's fine."

"Good, because it is important to honour thy father and mother, and you are such a good and honest and upright kid. Look how you won't murder, it's amazing, so of course you would never do anything that would upset your new father. Because you are a good man like that." There was a hand on his shoulder. "I wish Stiles had some of your inner fortitude and moral character. God I wish it, though it is better since they got me the noise cancelling headphones."

"Huh?" that seemed out of nowhere.

More noise at the back door and the sheriff sighed, "what else did he forget?"

Peter walked in, and oh god, he also went over and kissed the sheriff's cheek. "He will be required all weekend. We will insure he makes it to school on Monday."

"Oh will he?" The sheriff crossed his arms. "I don't think I agreed to whole weekends."

"If you prefer we can spend it here." There was a wicked smile, "I, of course, would not object to a sleepover with your fascinating self."

Peter got shoved and there was a laugh, "there are a good number of people who would object to that. Now bribe me correctly and he can be yours for the whole weekend."

"I am but a humble servant to your whims," Peter said with a bow, and what the heck was going on? "Two baseball tickets as you requested. Tremendous seats along some sort of line. I do hope you and Parrish will enjoy."

"Thanks, now go back home before you are missed. Remember the rules."

"Always, one has to remember them in order to break them." There was another kiss, this one on the freaking mouth and Peter left.

"He kissed you!"

"Yeah, he says since I am of European descent he wants us to be very continental in our greetings. It is just easier to indulge his whims, and it makes Stiles happy, so what can you do?"

"You and Peter dating makes Stiles happy?" Scott was so confused. "But Derek kissed you? And a ball game with Parrish? Has everyone lost their mind! I just want to touch Allison's boobs!"

Scott winced as he realized he had said that to Stiles' dad. Today was absolutely the worst day of his life.

"Son," the sheriff gave him a one armed hug. "You two are brother and sister now, step of course, but still in the eyes of the law you are siblings. A man has to decide for himself what that means. Now go on home, before your mom worries about you."

"I give up," Scott moaned. It was all just so messed up. He looked at the sheriff. "When did everyone get so weird?"

"Oh Scott, we always were, you just never noticed."

Scott gave a forlorn nod and went home.

He needed to figure this out, before he lost Allison for forever. Again.

Scott stared. "Stiles, why are you in a cheerleader skirt?"

"Because I look great."

"It doesn't really go with the Doctor Doom tee?"

"Sure it does, what's up?"

"You called me." Scott frowned. "Where did you even get it?"

"Oh the evidence locker. I think a hooker died in it? Cold case which means up for grabs!"

Scott rolled his eyes because that meant Stiles had ordered it from amazon but had to make it sound more interesting. Likely a two am fuelled episode but when it arrived, Stiles had to Stiles and try it on before sending it back. "Sure, have fun with it. Now, why did you call?"

"Oh, right, I have a solution to all your problems," Stiles looked so pleased with himself. "You are catholic so just say a rosary after every time you bad touch your new sister, and it will cancel out the sin! Easy peasy. Pretty sure that's how it works. Catholicism big on the ask forgiveness over seek permission kinda thing."

"I'm not Catholic?" Scott thought about it, "I'm not sure I'm anything."

"Nah, your mom has super lapsed Catholic vibes, so you are catholic adjacent enough for it to work." Stiles was nodding. "Guarantee you, either in a jewelry box, or her underwear drawer there is a rosary. She doesn't actually like Catholicism or follow it, but she also wouldn't be able to throw out the great aunt's rosary she got for confirmation."

Scott stared at him, "you think about my mom's underwear drawer?"

"Sure, that's where parents hide stuff, because kids are too freaked out about clothes that touch parent junk to go in there. Do you think I should start wearing kilts, because I feel like I'm pulling this skirt off?"

"You really aren't, and you'd look like a doofus in a kilt." Scott shook his head, Stiles was so weird. "Do you really think I am bad touching Allison?"

Stiles turned and came over, hugged him. Scott sagged against his friend. "Dude, yes I do, because Allison kinda has a bloodline that wants to kill a lot of people I care about. And she slides into evil kinda quickly and doesn't actually apologize for it?"

"I told her she had nothing to apologize for," Scott said. Stiles gave him a look. "What?"

"That wasn't completely your call to make," was pointed out. "Derek said I was taking this too far, but also I deserved something."

"I don't understand."

"You never do, but I still love your dumb ass." Stiles popped up again. "I'm trying to toughen you up Scott. Because there are people who are not nice in this world, and you are always so willing to give them another chance. I tease to teach."

Scott heard a noise from downstairs. "Thought your dad was working until late tonight."

"He is, now remember underwear drawer, say a rosary and you are good to boob away." Stiles stripped off the tshirt and was only in the skirt.

"Hey, when did you start working out? You look fitter than you used to. Oh my gosh, dude we need to start working out together more! The new house has a huge backyard, and Chris said we can set it up for a bit of crossfit, doesn't that sound awesome?"

"That does not sound awesome, but I'll do it to hang out with you some more," Stiles agreed. He was grinning and it was a look that Scott hadn't ever really seen on Stiles' face before. Like he had won the lottery, become a superhero, had actually managed to kiss Lydia.

It looked like pure joy.

The footsteps grew closer and Scott watched Derek and Peter stand at the door. "Oh hey guys, is there a problem?" Scott could actually use the distraction of a monster to beat up.

Derek and Peter were looking at Stiles. Kinda scary like. Scott didn't think just stepped in front of Stiles. He really didn't expect the growls that got, that Derek's eyes even shifted red for a moment.

"Chill," Stiles said and Scott was shocked when that firm tone got the two wolves to calm down. "Scottie, think I need to remind these guys of the rules of my house, how about you run along."

"I don't know, they look angry."

"Nah, they aren't angry," was said calmly. "Scott, come on. You are ruining my moment standing there."

"What moment?"

"Really?" Peter sighed, "I understand your mother swears she didn't drink while pregnant, but I have my doubts."

"Mine," was all Derek said.

Scott could smell something, but he couldn't place it. "You sure you want to be alone with them? Maybe you should get dressed, the goof is over?" Scott went to the bed and put the red hoodie on over Stiles' shoulders. That scent grew in the room and there were more growls.

"Scott, leave now, we'll talk later tonight, and I'll explain everything," Stiles promised.

"Okay?" Scott hugged Stiles, "send the bat signal, and I'll come."

"Hehehehe," Stiles cackled and he was shoved towards the window. Once on the ground he could hear Stiles make a big bad wolf joke and there were more growls, and he almost ran back in, but Stiles didn't sound scared.

Scott went home and well, maybe a few prayers wouldn't be the worst. He looked it up and dear god a rosary took forever to say, he definitely would be fine touching boobs after saying that many prayers. His mom's jewelry box didn't have one, so he opened the drawer.

He stared because there was a few well…not hospital approved sort of bits of things in there. He tried to be objective, his mom washed his underwear, he could handle seeing things, and when he pushed them aside there were actually a couple nice looking bags. He grabbed one and it was heavier than he expected. He opened it and dropped it in his hand.

Scott would have to live his whole life with the realization that he had touched his moms tiny vibrator.

He picked up his phone and hit one on his contacts. "Stiles," he growled, "there are other things in parent underwear drawers besides rosaries."

He hung up when it was clear that Stiles would not stop laughing.

Scott carefully put it back and washed his hand thoroughly. He went downstairs and reheated some leftovers, and debated just ceasing to exist because that would make all of this easier.

"Scott?"

"Yeah?" he called back and his mom was there, hauling in boxes stolen from the dumpster at the hospital. "Are those biohazards?"

"Probably not, and free!" She grinned.

She was the best. And he would never think about what he had found in the drawer. Ever again.

Scott stared at the room. His room. It was great. He loved having a corner room, it felt more private somehow. Posters were up, things in place. He might switch it around later, but it felt good. He left and ran into Allison in the hall.

She looked so pretty all messy and sweaty from unpacking. "Hey," she said, and wasn't meeting his eyes.

"I said two rosaries, found a digital one."

"Okay? You're religious?"

"No, but Stiles said if I did that, we can kiss."

Allison was staring at him, and you know what, now that he had said that out loud, to someone else, he realized just how insane it was. She started laughing at him, and honestly he deserved that. "Scott, have you been listening to Stiles about us? About all this?"

"Yes?" Scott said. He thought about Stiles, "Oh my god, he is such a dick. I'm going to kill him!" He can't believe himself, that he forgot the first rule of Stiles. Stiles is chaos. He stared at Allison. "Me kissing you is not bad touch."

She was laughing so hard at him, he had to kiss her.

"Coming through," Chris said, but nothing else. Because it didn't matter if he was kissing Allison. "There are still many boxes if the two of you want to help. Or you can go get takeout."

"In a minute," Allison agreed.

"Sure," Scott added. Allison pulled him and he saw her room. He looked around. "Feels different than your old room."

"I wanted some changes," she said. "My mom had picked all my furniture, and it was nice but not really me? Not the me I am now. So Dad got me new stuff."

"It looks good," he said. "Feels cozy."

"Thanks," she hugged him and he held her close. "I don't hate your mom. I thought maybe that was why you were pulling away."

"No, I just freaked out a bit about us being siblings now, and then Stiles made it so much worse."

"Like he is one to talk, considering everything he does with Derek and Peter."

Scott frowned, "you mean all the research he is helping them with?"

He didn't understand the look that Allison gave him, it was the one she gave to videos of little animals falling down stairs because they can't figure out how to climb them. It was her that is cute and so stupid look. "What?" he said.

"Okay," Allison took a deep breath. "I need you to think about it. Not as a guy who has known Stiles since he ate classroom paste, but as an outsider looking at interactions."

Scott tried, but was just drawing a blank. "Sorry?"

"So, a month ago, Lydia and I went to the jungle, because we wanted to dance and not many people would hit on us there."

"Yeah, you mentioned it," Scott nodded in agreement. "You sent me the photo of you, you looked great."

"Uh-huh," she pulled out her phone, and was clearly going through the gallery. "And we saw this." She held it up and Scott stared at the picture. He honestly couldn't process what he was seeing. He understood individual components.

Dancing.

Kissing.

Hand on butt.

But that those were happening with Stiles and Derek. And Stiles and Peter. And Derek and Peter. Derek and Peter were kissing and, then they were surrounding Stiles and kissing him. "Bad touch," was all he could say. He looked at Allison. "Bad touch!"

"I mean he did not seem to think it was a bad touch at the time." Allison was blushing a bit, "they went off and we followed them…just to make sure Stiles was safe. Lydia has photos of that. I do not."

Scott wanted to know, but also really didn't want to know.

"That bastard was trolling me!" Scott kept staring at the photos. "He had me convinced we were wrong, why?"

"Because Stiles wanted to fuck with you, like how you two probably used to before everything went to hell?" She suggested. "Because maybe we got so wrapped up in each other, your friendship strained a bit? Because he was bored? It's Stiles there are probably twenty reasons he messed with you." Allison bit her lip, "the bigger question is why you believed him?"

"I don't even know." Scott leaned against Allison. "Think maybe it was to not think about our parents getting married. Or easier to think about that than think about how messed up you and, I are sometimes." He kissed her. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too," she said, and he knew it was for a lot more than just the last couple of months.

There was a knock and his mom poked her head in, "boxes or takeout?"

"I'll do boxes, werewolf strength," Scott said.

"I'll get takeout, which Scott and I will eat up here?" Allison was smiling at his mom, and something in him eased.

"Sounds good," she agreed, "money is on the counter."

"Thanks," Allison said, and when they were alone they kissed a few more times. "And think —now we get to plan revenge on Stiles."

"We should tell his dad, because no way —" Scott paused, "Oh that is why they kissed the sheriff bye, they think of him as pack dad, or dad. How did I miss this?" Scott knew the world moved too fast for him sometimes, but this was a new low.

"Because you are a good boy."

"I can be bad!" Scott protested and got that stupid puppy look. But he also got a few more kisses so it balanced out.

"I'm going to kill you," Scott said as he sat next to Stiles at lunch.

Stiles just started laughing, "oh my god, you know Derek honestly did think I was taking it too far, but it was just so easy dude. I mean even my dad got in on it, when I promised him three meals of no complaining from me. Regret that though, bastard didn't tell me it was all you can eat brisket down at the tavern."

Scott hit Stiles who just kept laughing. "Pretty funny saying I was doing bad touch, considering what you get up to."

"Finally clued in? How did you miss it? You can smell all the spunk they leave on me."

Scott choked on his water. "Oh my god, never say that to me ever again. And shower more, that cannot be comfortable leaving it on your skin like that."

"Well you see," Stiles leaned forward and Scott pushed him away.

"I see nothing," Scott closed his eyes, which made him remember Stiles in the cheerleader skirt. He prayed next monster attack knocked him unconscious and he lost a few key memories. "How is your dad okay with…you know?" He sort of waved trying to get it to encompass everything that Stiles had going on.

"If he objected, I'd just be lying and sneaking out. I promised him, I'd always be honest from here on out. Plus he knows they would die for me, die themselves before they hurt me, so he decided easier to be cool with it. Especially because Derek and Peter sort of adopted him. They like having a dad around, helps them calm down to have an authority figure that is chill and sensible. Also Dad is trying to hook up with Parrish who is like how much younger than him, he so can't call our age out."

"We have to think about our parents and sex way too much these days." Scott sighed, "you know I will have revenge."

Stiles hugged him, "looking forward to it."

Scott put a few more pieces together, "wait, how many times have you answered your phone in the middle of sex?"

"Scottie, I'll always answer your call," Stiles looked so damn earnest. "Always."

Scott love the guy. But also, "please stop."

"Sure," Stiles agreed. "So after practice wanna hit the arcade? I'll tell you all about taking two dicks, and you can tell me what it's like to make out with your sister."

Scott tackled Stiles right in the middle of the cafeteria and everyone ignored it, long used to the antics of the two.