Chapter Text
It was slowly shaping to be a calm day in the Rhapsody. They were travelling without a true aim, set to lay low for a few days after their departure from the Seven Heaven casino; though they didn't get to keep the money, Rex was safely stuck in the brig, soon enough he would spill all the information they needed about the Don and their plan would be good to go! Easy peasy!
They just had to wait until he stopped crying… easier said than done. Pixel would be honest, the first few days she could understand Rex’s feelings, he just got broken up with in the worst way possible! He deserves to cry a little, externalizing your feelings will always be better than bottling them up. However, around the four day mark Pixel was feeling a lot less empathetic and a lot more annoyed. Sure, he had the right to express himself but she didn't expect him to be so loud.
As of now there is a small lull between Rex’s cries, either he’s asleep, knocked out or getting his breath back for another round of feelings.
Never one to let opportunities slip, Pixel took the break in crying to run to the kitchen for a few snacks, since Rex’s arrival the crew had kept themselves cooped up in their rooms or in the living room with the speakers as loud as they could go to block out the noise. Every moment of silence was an opportunity to run around the ship, Pixel was planning to have a nice day for herself, watch some tv in her room, do some self care maybe re-paint her nails. It would be a good time!
She was smiling privately just imagining it, or at least until she heard it, right as she walked back towards her room with an armful of Ziggy curated snacks Pixel’s ears picked up a sound she became heavily familiar with these past few days. Pixel heard crying.
It wasn't anything like Rex’s loud overdramatic sobs and whining though, the crying was soft, its loudest sound was the telltale harsh breathing of someone forcing themselves to swallow back their sobs. Pixel took a few steps back, looked towards the door that held the sobs behind it and with a concerning sense of surprise noticed it was Pyke’s.
Pixel approached the door, struggling to pass all her snacks to one arm and giving a slightly wonky knock as she felt one of the candy packets slip down the crook of her arm.
“Aw- Dang it! Uh, Pyke?” She said, hopefully loud enough for him to hear her but not loud enough to alert anyone else, “Are you okay?”
She heard a pitiful hum come from the other side of the door immediately making her heart squeeze like she was watching a kicked puppy, Pixel got closer to the door not surprised it was locked from the other side.
“Can you open the door for me, please?” She asked drumming her nails lightly on her thigh, “If you want company, I-I can just get you somethin’ if you need some alone time”
After a few seconds, the sound of awkward shuffling slipped through the door, soon followed by the light release of air as it opened up. Pyke stood in the doorway, his hair tied away from his face, easily exposing the reddened skin around his eyes, damp tear tracks still glistening on his cheeks as he stood silently looking anywhere but at Pixel.
She looked up at him and then behind onto his room, she’d only seen few glimpses of it in passing but from what she could tell it looked exactly the same, borderline barren, darker than the rest of the ship; it wasn't until a whirring sound caught her attention that she noticed what was different, the large machine in a corner of the room was still on in apparent stasis waiting to retort the next attack from its opponent. Pixel took another look at Pyke now noticing the reddening marks across his arms and one along his face she also noticed he was holding his hands behind his back keeping them from view.
Pixel knew few things about Pyke but one of them was how important he took his role as defense when it came to fights, she could see his face whenever he missed a shot or didn’t land a hit like he wanted to, she noticed them in Ko as well but knew, at the end of the day she was a lot less regimented than Pyke. So, in light of the events from the past few weeks, the general unrest in the ship from Rex’s incessant whining and Pyke’s growing tension Pixel began to paint a picture.
When Pixel gifted Rett his digi-diary she truly hoped it would serve as a safe space like hers did, she understood how being a leader of a group weighs down on you and sometimes there's simply a need to let it all out without comment or judgement. Originally she’d seen the connection between Pyke and Rett as more than a boss and assistant; she saw their shared looks, hushed conversations and began thinking of the solari as something more akin to a confidant. Of course now she realizes that they hold something more, but just like she thought there were deep things Rett would tell no one, not even Pyke, she should've realized there were things Pyke would never tell Rett.
These sort of things build, they grow on you until they’re heavy like a chain around your ankle. Sometimes what you need is to let them go, to speak and purge them from your insides, but Pyke has never been of the talkative sort, has he? Well, some don't want people to listen, they want someone to stay, somebody who can sit by their side and be the rock while they whether the storm, someone to keep them grounded and take their mind off things so they won't get swept by the wind and maybe then, maybe after the worst thunderstorm has seized they can begin to let it all out. Pixel would happily be that for him today, if he wants her.
“I was going to watch something in my room, d’you want to join me? Maybe?” She asked, voice growing squeaky by the end “I’ve got snacks!”
Pyke looked down at her seemingly still stuck half shivering after his crying session, he sniffed rubbing slightly at one of his eyes before nodding, whispering roughly what might have been an “okay”
“Great! Are you comfortable like that or do you want to take a shower and get some things?” Pixel carefully laid out ideas so he might go down the path he wants, “I’ll wait for you”
He thought about it, his tears twitching downwards before he nodded again and turned back into his room starting to shift through his drawers. Pixel waited by the door for a bit until it was obvious the door wasn't closing on her face and asked, “can I come in?”
The solari startled, looking back towards her with bundles of fabric in his arms, he nodded gesturing with one hand for her to come in so Pixel knelt down to pick up the candy bar that fell from her arms and walked into the room. She walked towards the place Pyke was standing in as he seemingly finished to pick out clothes, Pyke patted his empty bed murmuring a quiet “sit” before trudging towards the bathroom.
Once the door shut behind him Pixel stood again, she left the snacks she’d been holding on the mattress before going out of her way to turn off the training machine and closing the door back again then went back to the bed. Though Pyke’s room wasn’t dark it was visibly dimmer than the rest of the ship, washed in a very warm light orange tone Pixel could only guess was meant to mimic dim sunlight, sighing she leaned back in her hands feeling the soft gray comforter on the bed and looked up towards the ceiling and be immediately surprised.
There were stars all over the ceiling, some tiny, some big all glowing a faint fluorescent purple color Pixel followed their trail and noticed they weren't just pasted around without rhyme or reason, they were purposely arranged, meticulously placed in the shapes of different constellations from around the galaxy her eyes being drawn to the one directly over her, the collection of stars forming the shape of a dog. It brought a smile to her face.
Pixel spend her time tracing the patterns of the simulated night sky on the ceiling, noticing how if it weren't for the low light the little stars would seamlessly melt onto the metal gray of the surface in which they stand, in a way she guesses it was another secret, a little surprise for Pyke alone, she can imagine him sitting on his bed and tracing the constellations over and over just like she does now. It is a peaceful sort of repetition, it makes time twist and stretch into one single long second until the sudden whir of the bathroom door closing breaks the silent spell.
Pyke is back in the room halfheartedly pawing at his damp hair with a towel, he switched his clothes for loose sleeping pants with star patterns, fluffy socks and a big grey hoodie showing light fraying at the edges from years of love and use. He pads close to Pixel looking at her with wide eyes and a timid expression, she answers with a smile and a thumbs up.
“Ready to go?” She asks, Pyke shakes his head dropping to his knees before leaning onto the floor so he can stick his arms below his bed, after seconds of rustling a sudden high pitched squeak reverberated through the room making Pixel jump in her seat.
After that Pyke finally emerged from below holding in his hands the coveted treasure, he presented it to Pixel immediately, a round fluffy plush pig with massive eyes, wonderful folded ears and the most darling curled tail.
Pixel gasped, hands going up to her face and a big grin splitting it in two. “Oh my- what a cutie!”
She reached for it giddily, felt the soft material of its fur and as she took it from Pyke it squeaked, emitting a loud playful “oink!” causing Pixel to equally squeak in delight.
“Oh, that is just gorgeous! It's yours Pyke?” She asked, pushing the toy back into his hands, he happily nodded small beads of water flying off or sticking to his face, Pixel frowned, “can you give me that towel, please?”
With a curious look Pyke left the plush on the floor by his side before handing over the towel, Pixel wrangled the towel in her hands before ushering Pyke to come closer and descending on him with all her might, she scrunched, shook and patted until the towel was soaked and Pyke’s hair was -hopefully- dry. She pulled off the towel with one last hum exposing a poofed out mess of loose bouncing curls, looking like a kitten after being attacked by a hair dryer.
Pixel pursed her lips willing herself not to laugh until Pyke decided to shake his head once more, the curls exploding into one fluffy halo, then a light giggle slipped past her lips earning her a stink eye from the man.
“Alright, alright, I'm sorry!” She said between giggles, “come on, lets get going before Rex stars crying again”
She jumped down from the bed taking back her armfuls of snacks, after picking the plush back up Pyke helped by grabbing some too so she wouldn't have to carry them all. They quickly made their way a few doors down the hall to Pixel’s room, just in time before a new round of loud sobbing started emanating from the brig.
“Y’know he’s got great breath control” Pixel said, dropping her snacks onto the floor and settling in the middle of her fluffy hot pink rug.
“Loud” was all Pyke said, ears twitching slightly as he sat right besides Pixel.
Pixel sighed, “Yeah… but! We don't have to listen to him, we can watch movies instead!”
With that she reached onto her bed and pulled down a closed portable device in a soft pastel pink decorated with many glittery stickers, she placed it on the small table she also used for writing in bed and waited as it booted up, a small chime playing from its speakers.
Pixel absentmindedly opened a cookie pack as she began rolling through the device's catalogue, slipping through her lists of favorites to find a good movie, something soft and sweet, nice to play in the background while she paints her nails, -maybe she could even paint Pyke’s!- finally she landed on one, an old cartoon about a little boy and a siren girl.
While the movie begins to load, Pixel pulls multiple pillows and blankets to the floor- mentally glad that she prefers keeping normal sized blankets instead of glowblin sized - and begins arranging them around them until she and Pyke are surrounded in a makeshift nest. Next came all her nail care materials, meticulously arranged in one big bright purple bag with a heart of golden sequins at the top, stuffing a cookie into her mouth she picked up the nail polish remover and some cotton pads.
“D’you mind the smell?” She asked, turning to Pyke who had been calmly resting his back against the bed, his half lidded eyes, previously looking at the screen, turned to her. “I can put on a candle on something if it bothers you”
He shook his head, finally looking down at the heaps of snacks around them, picking up a brightly colored cereal bar. Though Pixel understood Pyke tended to be a man of few words she would be lying if she didn't admit his silence was a little strange, mixed with the very few times he’s talked being simple one word answers to questions, it was beginning to worry Pixel, yet, another part of her knew that it was better not to push, that if Pyke wanted to speak he would and that if he kept quiet it wasn't anything she did.
Minutes went by in companionable silence, Pixel slowly getting more and more focused on her nails, doing the proper care, looking for the best color, the best topper, the best stickers. At the end she was looking at light pink glitter nails, her ring fingers decorated with small adorable cat stickers, she blew lightly on them finally looking back at the movie on its final act and carefully searching for another snack, her eyes landing on a packet of gummies.
“Pyke, do you mind opening those for me?” She asked, shaking her hand slightly in lieu of explaining her situation, Pyke blinked at her blearily, apparently he’d begun nodding off at some point, he reached for the gummies struggling a little to finally open them before shaking some to the very front for Pixel.
When Pixel finally looked back at him she noticed the line across his face again, what had been just a slightly deeper pink was quickly turning into a bright red that would surely turn deep purple in the next few days. Though she couldn't see the strikes on his arms anymore, Pixel would still recall the similar markings branding his skin and just now her brain finally started bringing attention to his hands, or rather, to the lack of them.
At first he was hiding them on his back, then with the sleeves of the hoodie, even now Pixel can just barely see the tips of his fingers as he rubs his eyes; trepidation creeps up on her but if there is anything she should push on, it probably should be this.
“Pyke?” He looks at her again, left ear twitching lightly, “can I see your hands?”
The look he gave her was like a child caught doing something they shouldn’t, a drop of surprise mixed between layers of badly hidden fear, subconsciously Pyke pulled his hands closer to his chest, his ears twitching down like an animal searching for a predator.
“I just want to make sure you’re alright,” she inches slightly closer placing her small hand on his knee, “we’re friends, and I don't like it when my friends are hurt”
Finally he gave in, after an internal battle Pixel only caught light glimpses of, Pyke slowly presented his hands palm down not letting Pixel carefully push away the sleeves to reveal the damage. Small open scars littered his fingers from the first to the second knuckle, most weren't particularly deep until they reached the first knuckle where the gashes turned wider and an angry bloody red; besides those there were also multiple scrapes along his hand accompanied with blossoming bruises around his wrists.
They reminded her of some small scars she’d seen on Ko’s hands. Pixel knew that you could never leave a fight truly unscathed but when it comes to training that's what hand wrappings are for, right? She’s seen Ko do them enough times to remember, so either Pyke pushed hard enough for his knuckles to split despite the bandages or he simply didn't wrap them at all.
Whichever the correct answer was Pixel didn't like it so she turned away carefully rifling through one of her drawers until she found it, a small translucent glittery bag filled with cotton swabs, rubbing alcohol, band aids and more. It was always a good idea to keep a first aid kit.
Pixel sat back down right next to Pyke, taking his hands in hers once more, she noticed he was looking away from her in what could be shame or another sort of fear, Pixel simply kept looking down focusing on her task.
“This is going to sting a little, m’kay?” She said, showing the cotton covered in disinfectant before beginning to cautiously dab it over the injuries, “I know you want to keep us safe, and I know you get frustrated when you can’t be there all the time”
His fingers twitched like they wanted to ball up in a fist.
“I know because I feel like that too, but, you have to remember you have the rest of the crew there, that we all want the same thing, that we all want the others safe.” She explained, going feather light over the biggest scars, “I think your dedication is admirable, but you don't have to go this far every time”
Pixel didn't just mean the scars, didn't just mean the scrapes or the bruises, she meant the silence, she meant the far away look like he wasn't truly there, she meant the silent tears in an empty dark room, and in some way she knew Pyke understood.
“You don't have to prove anything to me, Pyke, to any of us. I know sometimes things get bad, things hurt and it’s difficult to control, but you can always ask me for help, you could ask Rett, or Ziggy, or Ko and we will all be happy to help. Because you’re our team, and we care about you just as much as you care about us.” She looked up at him again, he was still turned away, lips pressed on a thin line, a light redness in his nose and his eyes were visibly damp. Pixel turned away.
After cleaning she began covering the wounds with band-aids, at the end Pyke’s hands were mostly covered in them, sporting different designs of stars, smiling faces, multiple colored shapes like arcade carpeting, hearts and more, some were even glow in the dark.
Pyke didn't look down until she let his hands go, that was when the dam broke, he looked down at the different band-aids, hands beginning to shake from the tips of his fingers down to his wrist and the first tear fell down into plush carpeting, then the next on the fabric of his hoodie, and the next was caught by a small green hand.
Pixel stood up, hugging Pyke around the neck with light concern bubbling in her chest. “Hey, it's okay, I didn't mean to upset you”
The solari shook his head, hands slowly coming up to hug her back tightly, clumsy fingers squeezing the air as if trying to hold onto some sort of control.
Neither spoke for a while, the silence engulfing the room a testament to the vulnerability it spawned from, the energy between them something warm, delicate, soft to the touch. Pixel felt tears prickle her eyes too, light empathetic droplets that got lost in Pyke’s bright hair, they weathered the last crash of the storm together, sharing words they didn't dare utter but knew deep in their hearts; by the end the movie had long since ended, Pixel’s nails had dried and Rex’s whining was still reverberating through the halls.
“Come on,” Pixel whispered, wiping away her last stray tears, “we’re okay”
Pyke smiled at her, bright in more ways than one, “we’re ’kay”
Pixel reached for her video player, switching from movies to her carefully high energy playlist from when she was feeling down, cranking the volume as high as it might go to drown out the outside noise, once more they were inside a small happy bubble.
“Now how about we do something different," she said, going through her drawers and bringing a multitude of different toys, bags, stickers, notebooks and pens. “How about a makeover! I can paint your nails, I can do your hair all nice…”
Though he seemed slightly unsure Pyke agreed, pushing his sleeves back to his elbows and presenting his freshly bandaged hands. Pixel clapped her hands sitting back down across from the solari to begin working her magic. It took her a little more time than usual, since she was being extra delicate so as to not hurt Pyke further, to his favor he was a great client, he stayed still and did everything Pixel asked him to.
While Pixel worked she asked a few questions and to her surprise Pyke began to open up, this is how Pixel learned his preferred desserts are cherry pie and rainbow sorbet, that his favorite color is in fact magenta, and that he thinks Pixel’s hair is very pretty.
In fact he kept going, he said Pixel is kind, that her voice is nice, her clothes are pretty, her glow is pretty, all of her is pretty! That's why he likes Pixel. He also likes Ziggy, because he’s smart and will tell him fun things but also listen when he wants to talk and will let him sit and watch him play videogames. That Ko is tall and super strong, that she always makes him feel better and she always looks for him and Pyke loves her. Oh, but he loves Rett the most, because Rett is always taking care of him, Rett always knows what will make him feel good, Rett could carry him around if he wanted, Rett even told him Pyke is his favorite person in the whole universe…
“Can I tell you a secret?” Pyke asked, giggling and smiling. He leaned in conspirationally, dropping his voice down low, “He is also my favorite person in the whole universe”
Pixel giggled, “I guessed”
At the end Pyke’s nails were a deep dark purple that appeared black unless it was hit with light, topped with two different glitters, one of multicolored polka dots of different sizes and another of sparkly silver stars, looking like the open space right outside their portholes.
Next Pixel set on the quest of doing Pyke’s hair, she sat on her bed to reach the proper height so she could work comfortably; while she worked on detangling his hair Pyke began poking around the different toys Pixel had dropped on the run in front of him.
“What’s this?” He asked, picking up a little plastic box decorated with stickers
“Oh! Those are beads for bracelets, like mine, see?” She asked shaking one of her wrists so the beads jingle together, “you can make one if you want”
From then on the comfortable conversation continued, not joined by larger lulls of silence as Pixel grew focused on her work and Pyke carefully selected beads. When Pixel was done her eyes practically sparkled with mirth as she looked at her hard work.
“Just look at ya!” She cooed, taking her heart shaped hand mirror and pushing it towards Pyke so he might see his hair.
Thin fingers barely grazed the little double buns decorated with ribbons he now sported, as Pyke looked at his reflection his hair seemed to shift, curling in just the right way to complete the hair style. He smiled, solar glow enveloping the room as he fanned his hands in excitement.
“I- I look pretty!” He exclaimed dumbfounded, looking up at Pixel, “m’pretty!”
“Youre always pretty Py- Augh!” She exclaimed as he stood up and squeezed her tightly in excitement.
“I need t’show Rett” he murmured, leaning down to pick up his plushie and already half turned towards the door before his eyes lit up again, “Yes, here you go!”
He turned leaving a small little trinket in her hands, it was a small bracelet, though the beads did not follow any particular sort of pattern or logic every single one of them was bright and eye catching, Pixel couldn't shake the feeling that he went through all the beads and simply picked the ones that reminded him the most to her.
She stayed dumbfounded for a few seconds, unsure of what to say but when he looked up Pyke was no longer in front of her.
“Bye Pixie! I love you!” Pyke called walking out of her room.
__________
The bracelet became a recurring fixture in her outfits, simply another piece added to her go to jewelry. The next day Pixel found the ribbons she had placed on Pyke’s hair carefully folded and left in front of her door, and three days later Pixel went looking for the solari all the way to his room.
She knocked and immediately there was shuffling on the other side.
“Ko, I said I don't know where your stupid towel is- oh…” he stopped in his tracks, tilting his head slightly, “hey, Pixel”
“Hey! I just- i wont take much of your time, just um.. I gotcha something.” Pixel stammered, pulling out a little trinket from her back.
Thought its beads were better arranged, the bracelet was still every bead that simply screamed “Pyke!”, she presented it to him just a little nervous but unsure why.
“Now we can match!” She shook her bracelets, beads clacking softly against one another “bracelet buddies”
Pyke looked at the presented gift, picking it up like it was porcelain and smiled.
“Thank you…” he whispered, “its- its really pretty”
Three words were enough to calm any stray nerves in her mind, and just like Pixel had a new statement piece Pyke had one as well. When it wasn't around his wrist it was safely tucked inside his pocket, Pixel saw him counting the beads sometimes, shaking his hand just to hear them move, it was a simple quiet gesture. Unsaid but understood.