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One thing about being a God was that you never truly knew the extent of your own power.
Here, but not here. Alive in the most ethereal way possible. It was hard to explain—it was like she was no longer the commander of her own body, but an outwardly force controlling it. Like a puppeteer pulling the strings of her own self. It was… definitely something to get used to, but she’d take this over any other life.
She’d take the omnipresent strain of the Absolute Solver if that meant she would be able to keep the happy ending she couldn’t believe she had earned. Her parents reunited. People she could actually call friends. Super cool eldritch powers.
And most importantly… a super dapper dude she could call her boyfriend.
She’d been texting N, who had sent the corniest emojis imaginable: a text wall of golden hearts and dog emojis. Hey, wasn’t the best part of having a partner was the free will of being cringe with them? She chuckled when she remembered the last time V had called them cringe during their first camping date. Tied up with duct tape over her mouth? Ha, sucker had it coming.
N had hopped off to spend some time with some other worker drones he had befriended—including Thad—and Uzi was really happy to hear. It was comforting to know that the bunker was beginning to truly accept N and V as part of them. He truly deserved that. But that meant that Uzi was stuck staring at the ceiling, alone in her bedroom—her ceiling ramblings replenished and gorier than ever, trying to figure out what she could do and the inky paranoia of anything that still remained. She was feeling bored—
“I think I can help with that.”
Uzi almost jumped off the bed in shock. It took her a quick minute to figure out who was speaking—and she groaned in response.
“I’d rather be bored than listen to whatever the hell you want.” She spat back, watching idly as her tail rose from its sagged position on the side of the bed to hover over her.
The tail swayed to its side, making an expression Uzi could only read as a pout. “We are stuck with each other for the rest of eternity. Might as well be friendly with each other? Pwease?”
“Do a bonding thing with the equivalent of robo-satan? Nuh uh, no way. I am not as gullible as you think.” She responded, crossing her arms and sitting up against the wall so she could glare at it with all the venom she had.
“I can’t do anything in this form, Big Sister Uzi–”
“Do not call me that.”
“Big Sister Uzi,” It reaffirmed, letting out a scratchy chuckle as it watched her drag a hand down her visor. “You want to know what you can do as a god. I can show you. Could you please hologram me, first?”
She scoffed. “First you drag me down into this mess, and then you have the gall to ask for favors?”
“You choose to eat the core, eager beaver.”
“It's still your fault!” Uzi exasperated, bringing out the familiar tri-pronged symbol, now layered in lilac and gold. After a beat, glitchy blue light blinked to form the familiar hunchbacked worker drone, limbs positioned in weird positions and eyes blinking eerily without expression. “There. Hologram. Happy?”
The gold in her tail faded away and sagged back to the floor as the hologramed-Cyn made an attempt at jumping with joy. “Yay. I have a decent-ish body now.”
“Whatever,” Uzi mumbled, looking away to a corner of her room. “Your suffocating presence in my head was beginning to kill me. And it’s not even real,” She added. “You’re only able to control the hologram because you don’t have a body. Except my stupid tail.”
“Right. Hehe. We share the same head now, don’t we? Oh, and Doll. Though she does not speak or talk to us. Is just. Being there. Very eerie.”
Cyn was right—Doll was there too, and her presence just… existed. Like a pair of eyes boring through the back of her head. And if Cyn of all people called Doll eerie, then that was just concerning.
“Figures. Now hurry up and tell me what I can do before I banish you back to my tail. And don’t touch my stuff!” Uzi exclaimed, running up to her desk where Cyn was fingering through her things and swatted her away like a fly.
“Okeey. Okeey!” Cyn said, stumbling backward and giving her attempt at a sheepish smile. “There are lots of silly things you can do. Explosion.mp3. Track down everyone with callback ping. Look at alternate realities—”
Wait, what?
“Alternate realities? The hell is that crap?”
“Giggle. Looks like Big Sister Uzi is interested.” Her cocky smile grew wider as Uzi glared at the title. “It is very simple. The Absolute Solver can show you alternate universes. What could have happened if you ignored this choice,” She flapped her hands one way, and then the other direction, “And did that choice.”
“Like, other worlds? Universes? Huh?” Uzi echoed, eyes widening.
“No dummy, it does not work that way.” Cyn responded, pacing around. “The Solver takes the prompt you ask for, and generates a version of that event with the alternate decision.”
Uzi blinked. “Generates? What, so it makes a wild guess?”
“It is very accurate, minus a few setbacks with the generation. Apart from that, it will be as if you truly did step into another world.” She stopped pacing, and looked at her. “We are AI, and to it, we are easy to predict.”
“...huh.” Uzi replied dumbly, staring into space, trying to process this. “And how exactly do I… see it? The reality?”
“Let me show you!” Cyn answered, jumping around bubbly. “What different path do you want to see?”
“I don’t know!” She responded, flopping back onto the bed. “It’s not like I can name one of the many random-ass things I did and didn’t do. What if I didn’t eat low-grade this morning? Something stupid like that?”
The other frowned. “Too. Boring. Oh, here’s an interesting one.” She clapped. “What if you died with me after the big battle? Tehe.”
“You’re still not over that, are you?” Uzi grumbled. “Sorry you were so cocky that you were pathetically easy to defeat.”
“Funny. And that was sarcasm.” She retorted, glaring at her. “It was a serious question. I do want to see what Big Brother N and V would do.”
Uzi was prepared to bite back with an, ‘And I don’t!’ but some morbid part of herself shelved that thought. Cyn did constantly remind her that she had gotten very lucky that she didn’t completely shut down after her body was given the weight of an existential entity. That she was more likely to have died, alone and painful, with the solver dying with her like a brutal draw.
Why did some part of her want to see what would have happened if that had been the case? That was how it ended?
“I’m thinking about it.” She offered.
“Silly Uzi. Don’t forget I can see your thoughts. You want a yes. Giggle.”
Uzi was ready to scream at that. Did she really have zero privacy now? But whatever, if that was the case, fine. Might as well since this alternate reality to see if she could take the two cents the little gremlin had offered. And maybe a part of her… wanted to see what her friend and boyfriend would do.
“Fine. Do your worst.”
Cyn let out a monotone ‘Yay!’ at her response, shuffling over to where Uzi was flat on the bed, and held her hand.
“Brace yourself. This may hurt–”
She was interrupted when all Uzi could see was light, and then nothing.
———————————————
It took Uzi around ten blinks of her eyelights to know she was still conscious. Her audial sensors were ringing terribly.
“Ow, what was that? A flashbang? Cyn?!”
She got up from where she was lying flat on the ground—she was around nothing. Literally, nothing. All the world around Uzi was black, save for herself.
“Cyn!?”
She looked around desperately to find her standing a few feet away.
“Relax. The world is still generating.” She replied, her back turned to Uzi.
Uzi took a look around their surroundings, the black slowly beginning to change hue. “Where are we even?”
“The Solver Space! We will be watching everything from here. You can’t do or say anything, we are simply. Watching.” Cyn spread her arms wide. “Like a giant interactive movie screen!”
The colors began to shift, and pieces began to come into view. Little pixels. All unraveling and igniting one by one, drawing a picture of a place that had burned itself into memory from when it became her battlefield.
“Copper-9…”
It looked exactly like how it was that day. Having clarity that even the visions in her own nightmares lacked. She’d believe it if it was happening all over again, save if hologramed Cyn wasn’t standing next to her.
Wrecked pieces of debris were strewn all through the arena. The coppery skies—fitting for its name—reflected bright against the towers of rubble and dust. Yes, it was exactly right, like a dollhouse that had been untouched—never put away.
Uzi squinted ahead, recognizing the area ahead.
“That’s where you woke up after you ate my core.” Cyn filled in, reading what she was thinking. “It was a big drop.”
Uzi could make out two new figures in the distance. Two she knew very well.
“V? N?” She cried out, racing towards them.
“Silly Uzi, they can’t hear you, remember?”
She bit back her lip—right. This was looking far too real for her own liking. But she didn’t slow herself down, Cyn walking behind at her own pace, telling her something that got lost to the wind. Uzi came closer, until she saw it.
N was crouched down, grasping something tight in his arms, visor blocked from her view. V stood next to him, one arm on his shoulder and the other tight against her face. What were they doing? Why was V so silent?
What struck a bullet through Uzi’s heart was realizing that V was holding back tears. And that’s when she finally let herself understand what she was witnessing.
Uzi saw her own limp body. A blackened visor, glitching in and out as it read the dreaded [FATAL ERROR] message, as if there wasn’t even any power left to send out a signal that she had passed on. But it wasn’t seeing her mangled corpse that got her heart stuck in her throat.
It was N. She could hear him crying.
“Uzi…” He whispered, voice cracked and barely audible, the syllables stretched out and mournful. “We promised… promised we’d stick together…”
V’s grip on his shoulder tightened as his sobbing got louder.
Then he let out one pained scream.
A sound unlike anything Uzi had ever heard in her life, a sound she never expected nor wanted to hear from his lips. This… this was N mourning Uzi’s death for a second time, watching a star kill itself, fading and fading away until it was nothing.
V tried to hug him, but he barely reacted, looking at nothing other than what used to be, lying on his lap.
Uzi was frozen. She couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, and her heart was shattering in two.
She tried to reach out, bending down and placing her arm on his shoulder, knowing he couldn’t feel its warmth. She looked at his expression—robo-god, every crack, every shatter, every piece of pain was etched on his face, and it never seemed to leave. He looked like he wanted to go to a world where every second could move on for an eternity and every moment could last forever. To take back what had been taken out.
He lifted his head and closed his eyes, the dust and wind flecking at his tear stained face as he took a shuddering breath. Once again, he leaned over to her—the purple drone that no longer glowed its lilac lights, holding on to her like she was the most precious object in the world. An arm travelled up to her lifeless visor—thumb stroking against her metal before he never felt it again. Another arm of his unconsciously reached out to Uzi’s hand, interlacing their fingers just the way they did when they were at their happiest moment. He stroked her hair, with all the care in the world, before bending down… and landing one final kiss of goodbye on her forehead.
Staying like that before V gently pulled him away, and he shed the last of his tears on her shoulder.
“You’re crying.”
Cyn’s voice was like thunder, and Uzi didn’t realise how long she had been staring. She tried to speak, but her heart was there—longing to reach out and give it to the boy who had stolen it the moment they met.
“Wouldn’t you?” The response came out twisted and mangled, Uzi twisting away to compose herself before she broke, too.
Cyn mused, brows furrowing as if she was trying to solve a phenomenon. “I wish I could say I understand, Big Sister Uzi. But I don’t.”
“Of course you don’t, you vile thing.” Uzi snarled, anger replacing upset when she turned. “This is what you wanted if you had won, didn’t you?”
For once, Cyn didn’t reply.
“Let’s go to a different scene.”
———————————————
The flash lasted for less this time, and the world around them came to life faster. It was a much familiar scene—the area just outside the bunker, the place Uzi had first ventured out to find parts for her railgun, before she met N for the first time. Once again, it was just as clear if she had actually been there—except this time… the atmosphere felt different. Something was different—and that something was right in front of her.
In front of her was a stone slab, upright and slightly crooked. Uzi bent down to read what had been carved on its surface.
UZI DOORMAN
No… this couldn’t… they never buried drones…?
She felt something phase through her that moment. Blink and she missed it. And she’d recognize the back of N anywhere.
He knelt down where she had been, grazing the surface of what she now knew was her own grave, just as gently as he did with her own self. V stood behind him, looking off into the distance, and Uzi would say she was trying to compose herself again if she knew any better.
V let out a soft sigh, eyes darting around, like she was trying to find the right words. “Do… you think she would have liked being put to rest here?”
N’s response was distant, so unlike him.
“I wish I could have asked her what she wanted.”
V nodded to that solemnly, taking a few more steps near the grave. “Did you see what I wrote?”
He snapped out of it, looked down to the end of the slab to read something that was carved in careful handwriting, as if it had taken ages to perfect.
THANK YOU.
He slowly turned to face V. “You wrote that…?”
She laughed, bitter and melancholic. “Wish I could have told her myself.”
They stood there in silence before V began. “Are you coming with me?”
N looked towards the ground. “Do you… mind if I stayed here a little while longer? I want to keep her company.”
The other pursed her lips, her expression understanding. She walked towards the grave and placed a hand on it, closing her eyes like she was sending some sort of message.
She walked away and deployed her wings. “Stay safe, N.” And she took off into the skies.
N watched her go higher and higher until she was out of view.
He crossed his legs and sat side-by-side to her grave, taking a breath before beginning.
“It’s… been a minute, hasn’t it? I hope I can keep visiting you as often as I can… with the planet in pieces, it’s getting harder and harder to buy some time for you.” He smiled, the same kind he used to comfort her in the darkest of moments. “But I will, I promise. I promised I’d never leave you alone and I won’t, never again.”
His expression darkened, mind wandering off. “V’s upset too, you know? I’ve caught her almost in tears once or twice, though I’m sure she’s hiding her feelings from me as much as she can. To stay strong for me, you know? Though I keep telling her that she doesn’t need to be.
“Your dad… he misses you too. Terribly. You’re mom’s come back home, and I think you’d be glad to know your parents are finally together again… but the family’s incomplete without you, Uzi. They’ve been amazing to me and V… said they see me as some kind of son for your sake. Think your mom told your dad about us? I think so.
“Thad and Lizzy miss you too, they said, and yes, Lizzy. V insists she does. She’s throwing a memorial for you—a small one, don’t worry—I know you told me you don’t want a funeral or anything of the sort. But,” He trailed his fingers around his carving, “I think the person who sacrificed herself should get some well needed appreciation!”
His voice quaked, turning into whispers. “Can I be honest? I… regret everything. I regret dragging you into this mess, I regret being responsible for everything you went through… I regret not knowing Cyn would… do something like this, to you… I can’t help but feel guilty. I know you would say to not be but I can’t help it…I regret not spending enough time with you…
“I wish you were here to tell me again…”
Uzi lost her footing and fell, knees shaking. She began crying again the same time he did.
“But you know what I don’t regret?” He asked, smiling golden through the tears. “I don’t regret all that time we spent together—I loved every second of it. I don’t regret saying yes when you asked me if we were dating—though I may have asked…first… after that situation with your mom,” He chuckled, thinking fondly. “I don’t regret falling in love with you.”
“I’m saying a lot today, aren’t I? I don’t want to bore you to tears…” He mumbled, and if Uzi had a say, she’d be saying no, please, please keep talking.
“But thank you. Thank you so much, Uzi. For saving the world, like how all your favourite anime heroes do,” He pressed his visor against her last resting place, “Thank you… for saving me.”
If there was anything left of her heart, it had broken into pieces, like glass broken again and again, almost beyond repair.
“Uzi?” Cyn’s voice seemed to come from another galaxy.
“I want to go back.”
Cyn cocked her head, coming in front of her where she had knelt against the ground, snow biting against her legs.
“Now. Please. I can’t take this any longer.”
Cyn mused before replying. “I think Big Brother N is doing that right now.”
———————————————
“Uzi? Uzi!”
She woke up with a jolt, and almost knocked N off the bed.
“Oh, Uzi! Biscuits, you were out cold, I thought—”
He didn’t get time to finish his sentence before she wrapped her arms tightly around her waist, tears spilling again and refusing to let go.
She could feel him tense as he returned the hug in an instant, before moving her forward so he could see her. “What’s wrong?”
“I love you.”
N was taken aback. “...wha…?”
“I love you so much, okay? I’m perfectly fine, I don’t ever want to hurt you my entire life, ever, and please for the love of god tell me Lizzy would not care if I died because that’s just too much to process? And I never ever regret dating you in my—”
“Uzi.”
His voice was so tender and sweet that Uzi forgot what she was saying.
He wrapped his arms around her and spun her around the room, while she screamed from laughter and bewilderment.
“I love you too, my precious little darling!” He chirped, planting a kiss on her cheek, and Uzi almost exploded from her blush, internal fans whirring as fast as they could. “Please don’t cry!”
“Okay, dork! Put me down! Put me down!” Uzi screamed, as he spun her faster and faster, until she spun on top of her bed, and N flopped down beside her.
They took a moment to catch their breaths, his golden, adorable eyes looking nothing like the broken boy she had seen moments before.
She vowed then, that she’d live whatever life they had in store to the fullest, so he’d never carry the weight of regret again. And then she did feel the gratitude for the ending she had gotten–truly slipping into a world where every gaze into his eyes, full of life, felt like blissful eternity.
She thanked whoever blessed her with this in her head. And pressed against N, in a world where she could finally find peace, all she could hear now was the disgruntled chuckle of the entity that had shown her how lucky she had been to get this.