Archive of Our Own ^beta

Jeremy is at a house party and he can’t find Jean.

Cat and Laila are in the kitchen, drinking the expensive tequila that the owner of the house put out. Jeremy thinks he might be a congressman’s kid or something. He’s either a hockey player or a lacrosse player, but Jeremy couldn’t tell you which if his life depended on it.

When Jeremy left the party two hours ago, Jean had been parked on the couch with Cody. He thought it would be okay to sneak out to see one of his regular hookups, but now he worries that Jean needed him and he wasn’t there. Jean isn’t in any of the bathrooms, he isn’t in the living room, den, or the small theatre room. This house is too freaking big.

Finally, Jeremy ventures down a quiet hallway with mostly locked doors. Just when he’s about to give up, the second to last doorknob turns. He pushes the door open and sees Jean.

Jean, sitting cross-legged on the four poster bed, Cody on their knees in front of him. Cody’s hands gently cradle Jean’s face, and they’re kissing. It’s not sloppy, drunken making out. It’s soft. Delicate.

Neither of his teammates seem to have heard Jeremy come in, because they don’t jump back from each other. They just keep kissing. Jeremy can hear the slick sounds of their lips moving together. From all the way back here, the thumping bass is all that can be heard of the music, and it leaves Jeremy able to hear the tiny gasp Jean breathes in through his nose.

Jean wants this, Jeremy thinks.

Cody hums in response, and pushes Jean onto his back, following him down without breaking their kiss. Jeremy tells himself that he’s just staying until he knows this is what Jean wants, but from the way Jean presses his hips up into Cody’s, there’s no denying he is a very happy participant. Jeremy backs out of the room and shuts the door as slowly and quietly as possible.

*

An hour later, Jeremy sits on the couch in the… den? Sitting room? Jeremy isn’t sure. He sits on a plush, leather sofa and drinks his ginger ale. He doesn’t think he could stomach any alcohol right now even if he wanted to.

It’s just, Jeremy didn’t even know that Jean was into Cody. Obviously they’re great, Jeremy adores them. It makes sense that someone would be into Cody, but Jean? Jeremy just didn’t see it. He’s seen Jean look at Cat and Laila, hell he’s seen Jean look at Jeremy. He hasn’t seen Jean look at Cody. Maybe they fell for each other. Maybe tonight will be the start of a real relationship between the two of them. Jeremy feels sorry for Pat and Ananya.

He feels sorry for himself.

Except, he doesn’t have any right to be upset! Jean doesn’t belong to him, and Jeremy is the one who left them together to go hook up with some guy he doesn’t care about. He can’t be mad that Cody took the opportunity when it was presented to them. Who wouldn’t want Jean?

Hands clap suddenly on Jeremy’s shoulders, and he nearly jumps out of his skin. He just manages to keep his now-warm can of soda from spilling.

“Cap!” Cody’s voice rings out behind him. “There you are.”

They say it lightly, jovially, but Jeremy can’t help but feel like it's a dig. Where were you, Jeremy, when you could’ve been spending time with your partner?

“H-here I am,” Jeremy stutters.

Then Jean is sitting on the couch next to him. Jeremy doesn’t say anything, he just scans Jean’s face for… what? Proof?

“Captain,” Jean says. Jeremy watches his mouth move, and are his lips a little swollen? Is his hair messy because Jean was anxiously running his fingers through it, or because Cody was holding onto it?

Jean’s face morphs into one of concern.

“Jeremy? Are you okay?” Jean asks.

Jeremy’s eyes widen and he realizes that he can’t just stare at Jean in silence.

“Yeah!” He says too loudly, and then clears his throat to try again. “Yeah, I’m fine. Are you having a good time?”

Jean smiles a small, private smile, and his eyes flick over to Cody where they’ve been pulled into a conversation with Derek and Derrick. It’s a split second, but Jeremy sees it like it was in slow-motion. “Yes, I’m having a good time.”

Jeremy feels like he’s just been kicked in the chest.

“That’s… great,” he manages to croak out.

A crinkle forms between Jean’s eyebrows. “Are you sure you are okay? Did something happen with-”

“I’m sure, I’m fine, it was fine,” Jeremy squeaks.

“Fine?”

“G-good. He was good.”

Jean’s ears turn pink.

“I mean, it was good!” Jeremy says, too loudly.

Jean looks forward and nods his head. Why does Jeremy feel so guilty?

“I think I will go find Cat and Laila,” Jean says, standing.

Jeremy watches Jean’s back disappear into the throng of people, and Cody plops down into the spot Jean just vacated.

“Howdy, Cap,” they say.

Jeremy sees a red spot on Cody’s chin that he would recognize anywhere. Beard burn. This late in the night, Jean’s stubble will have grown in from his morning shave. He trails his eyes down Cody’s neck and sees that splotchy redness creep under the neckline of their t-shirt.

“Jere?” Cody asks, trying to catch his eye.

“Did you have sex with Jean?”

The words are out of his mouth before he can stop them.

Cody blinks at Jeremy for a second, mouth ajar. Then, they close their mouth and say, “Yeah, I did.”

“Cool, coolcoolcool. That’s great! Really good, for both of you. Are you guys, like, dating now?” Jeremy knows his tone is not normal enough to be pulling this off.

Cody smiles, like they’re laughing at Jeremy, and shakes their head. “No, Jeremy, we aren’t dating.”

“Why not?” Jeremy asks, because who wouldn’t want Jean?

“I love Pat and Ananya. Just because I’m not ready to be with them yet doesn’t mean I want to date someone else.”

“Then why…?” Jeremy trails off.

“Are you seriously going to question me about casual sex?” Cody asks, starting to actually seem a little pissed off.

“But it’s Jean!” Jeremy exclaims.

“Yeah, Jean is a big boy, and if he wants to hook up with a friend, he is allowed to do that. I know you know that,” they say slowly.

“Of course I know that!”

“Then what’s the problem here, Cap?”

“There is no problem,” Jeremy huffs. “It's just, Jean is only nineteen, you know.”

“And I’m what, forty five? C’mon man, just say what you’re really thinking.”

“Okay, I don’t think it's appropriate for you to be taking advantage of Jean!” Jeremy shouts. He is immediately aware of eyes all over the room falling onto Jeremy. A couple heads even poke in from other rooms.

Cody’s face is angry. They have every right to be pissed at Jeremy, he’s being a petty child.

“I know this is not really about me, so I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that,” Cody says, quietly enough that people start to lose interest quickly.

“I’m so sorry-”

Cody’s hand comes up. “Save it, I know you are.”

“I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, you shouldn’t have. Look, I’m only telling you this to get you to stand down, but Jean approached me. Okay? Jean asked if he could kiss me. And if who you are kissing is not Jean’s business, then who he is kissing is not your business. Right?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“And if Jean, of all people, would like to experience intimacy with someone he feels safe with, I am more than happy to oblige.”

Jeremy feels his heart sinking. “Are you saying it’s going to happen again?”

“Maybe. We talked about it. And you’re going to have to figure out a way to be okay with that,” Cody says, and then stands. They walk away before Jeremy can say anything else, but he is suitably chastised.

Cat finds Jeremy twenty minutes later.

“So what’s this I hear about you accusing Cody of taking advantage of Jean?”

Jeremy groans and hides his head between his knees.

“You’re lucky Cody is as awesome as they are. They’ll forgive you by tomorrow.”

“I don’t deserve it,” Jeremy says, miserably.

Cat plops down onto the floor next to Jeremy and rubs at his back. “Yes, you do. You let your jealousy get the better of you, but Cody knows you didn’t mean it.”

“I was such a dick.”

Cat just says, “Uh-huh.”

Jeremy finally lifts his head to look at her. “I don’t want to be this guy.”

“I don’t get why you won’t just tell him how you feel,” Cat says.

Jeremy lets out a deep sigh. “He deserves better.”

Cat smacks him upside the head.

“Hey!”

“Don’t talk about yourself like that. You’re a catch, any man would be lucky to have you.”

Jeremy scoffs and says, “Yeah, okay.”

Cat rolls her eyes. “This self-deprecating schtick is tired. Don’t you think you could make him happy?”

“I can’t even make myself happy.”

Cat puts her hand to her mouth and blows a raspberry. “Boring! If you keep up this sad sack shit, I’m going to sick Laila on you.”

“I appreciate what you’re trying to do here, but me and Jean isn’t going to happen. I’m his captain, he’s my partner. And after everything he’s been through…”

“After everything he’s been through, shouldn’t he get to make that call?”

When Jeremy doesn’t answer, Cat stands from the floor, stretching out her back. She holds out a hand to help Jeremy up.

“C’mon, lets find our people and head back to the apartment. You know Jab won’t sleep until Jean is home.”

Jeremy takes her hand and follows her up.

***

Jeremy is alone in the apartment. Technically, he still has one more class this evening, but Jeremy fell asleep in two classes already today, so he’s calling today a wash. Cat and Laila and Jean should be back in an hour or so to eat dinner. They have a game tomorrow, so tonight is for resting, and Jeremy managed to convince his mother that they have an early morning. So Jeremy is alone in the apartment, until he isn’t.

The door is unlocked and swiftly swings open, but Jeremy can’t see who it is. He hears them before he sees anyone. There’s a dull thud, like something falling against the wall. And then, “Fuck, Jean.”

That’s Cody. Jean responds, but it takes Jeremy’s brain a second to catch up with the fact that it isn’t in English. The door shuts and the lock slides into place.

“You could say anything, and it would still be hot to me,” Cody says around a groan.

“I said take off your pants,” Jean grunts. And then Jeremy hears the clinking of a belt hitting the floor.

Jeremy doesn’t know what to do. Should he let them know that he’s in the living room? Should he wait until they make it to the bedroom and just slip out?

Their bedroom, Jeremy’s traitorous mind supplies.

“Oh god,” Cody moans.

Are they going to hook up in the entryway? Jeremy cannot be hearing this.

“You can touch my hair,” Jean says, voice muffled. “Just don’t pull on it.”

“Okay,” Cody pants. “Your fucking mouth, Christ, its unreal.”

Jeremy is going to have some sort of mental breakdown. He hears Jean murmur something, but he can’t make out any words, and then Cody is laughing and moaning at the same time.

“Oh, that’s so good, Jean, oh my god. J-just like that,” Cody whimpers. Jeremy has his head in his hands, debating covering his ears. He knows he isn’t supposed to be hearing this, but certainly letting them know now that he’s been here the whole time is worse. He cannot hear Cody orgasm, that’s a line he cannot uncross. From the increasing volume of Cody’s noises, Jeremy doesn’t think they’re going to last much longer. “Yes! Keep going, yes, yes!”

That’s it. Jeremy is never not going to know what his friend and teammate sounds like when they come. And knowing it’s Jean making them sound like that? Jean’s mouth bringing them to climax in under ten minutes? Jeremy doesn’t know how he’s supposed to go on.

“Holy shit, Jean.”

“Good?” Jean asks, and Jeremy can hear his pleased little smile.

“Yeah Jean,” Cody laughs. “Give me a second to catch my breath, and then you can fuck me.”

Jean moans loudly at that, and Jeremy is thinking of just ending it all right now, actually. He’ll suffocate himself with a throw pillow right here on their couch.

“I have been thinking about being inside of you all week,” Jean says, and then the bedroom door is closing, muffling all of their sounds inside.

Cody is going to let Jean fuck them in their bedroom, on the other side of the wall. Jeremy has to get out of here.

*

Jeremy comes back an hour later. He doesn’t even take his car, he just steps out of the apartment building and starts running. He’s sweating and breathing heavily when he swings the apartment door open once more. He listens carefully to make sure the coast is clear, but the smell of food cooking in the kitchen hits him first. He pads into the busy room to see Cat and Cody at the stove, Jean and Laila at the island.

“There you are!” Laila shouts when she spots Jeremy. “I heard you weren’t at your last class. Where have you been?”

“I went for a run,” Jeremy says.

“You skipped class to go for a run?” Cat asked, perplexed. “Why didn’t you wait until after?”

Jeremy just shrugs and leaves the room to shower. Behind him, he can hear Cat ask, “Did he meet up with someone?”

“How should I know, babe?” Laila responds, and then Jeremy closes the bathroom door with more force than necessary.

He hoped a run would clear his mind, calm his racing thoughts. Instead, Jeremy spent an hour running around thinking about Cody and Jean. He steps under the spray, no closer to erasing the sound of Cody moaning Jean’s name. He cranks the water a little bit colder and tries to ignore his aching dick.

***

Jeremy is at another party. This one is in one of the dorm buildings, three rooms with open doors making the party spill into the hallway. Jeremy has already been here for three hours, and he’s miserable. He can’t remember the last time he went to a party and didn’t sneak off to have sex with someone. Cat and Laila had dragged a reluctant Jean along with them, but the promise that Cody, Pat, Ananya, and both Derek and Derrick would be there was enough to keep his grumbling complaints to himself. Jeremy thought maybe Jean and Cody would disappear together when they arrived, but Cody sits with Pat and Ananya in the centre dorm room. Jeremy can’t hear them over the music and the other conversations between them, but Cody looks happy. They’re smiling at Pat and leaning their back against Ananya’s chest as she rubs her hand over their buzzcut. An hour ago, Derek pulled Jean away and Jeremy hasn’t seen him since.

Lonely and antsy, Jeremy stands from his spot on the floor to search for his partner. The guy who had been attempting to chat Jeremy up makes a disgruntled noise at being left so abruptly, but Jeremy isn’t paying attention to him. He pops his head into the dorm on the left, and spots Derrick.

“Where’s your other half?” Jeremy asks.

Derrick turns to face Jeremy, leaving his conversation with an apologetic smile.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Derrick replies with a shit-eating grin.

Jeremy just scowls and asks, “Where did Derek take Jean?”

A guilty look crosses Derrick’s face, and he says, “Actually, he left.”

“Jean? Where did he go?”

“No, Derek left. He’s having phone sex with Tori.”

“So where is Jean?” Jeremy is beginning to worry.

“About that…”

“Where is he?” Jeremy asks more urgently.

“Okay, don’t freak out, but there’s this girl.”

Jeremy’s mouth falls open. Derrick barrels on.

“Derek knows her from class, and she has a thing for Jean. He set them up tonight, and she and Jean are… y’know. Getting to know each other.”

“Oh,” is all Jeremy says.

“Yeah, sorry, they’re in the bathroom at the end of the hall.”

“Why are you saying sorry?”

“Well… you two are…”

“We’re what?” Jeremy demands.

Derrick holds his hands up like he’s steadying an animal. “Sorry, is it not common knowledge that you two have feelings for each other?”

Jeremy’s throat goes dry. He croaks out, “What?”

Derrick’s eyes widen. “Did you not know that?”

“Why- Why would you say Jean has feelings for me?”

“Because he does,” Derrick says, like it's obvious.

“He told you this?”

“No, of course not, but it's very obvious. At least to Derek and I. Probably a lot of the team.”

Jeremy nods, trying to process.

“Why would Derek set him up with some girl then?”

“Jean didn’t think you’d be sticking around tonight. You don’t usually stay at parties.”

Jeremy has to admit that that is a very fair assessment. But Jeremy hasn’t actually hooked up with anyone in weeks. Since the last party he was at, he realizes. Since he saw Cody kissing Jean.

Jeremy is about to thank Derrick for his help and take his leave, but then Jean is materializing out of the crowd.

“Mon frère!” Derrick exclaims.

“Please do not call me that,” Jean says, but his mouth is quirked up into a small smile.

“What happened? You know I’m hung up on Cherise, let me live vicariously through you.”

Jean turns to look at Jeremy, finally acknowledging his presence. Then he turns back to look at Derrick and says, “I do not know the word for it.”

“Did you fuck her?”

“No, I do know the word for that, thanks,” Jean says, rolling his eyes. Then he softly mutters, “We used our mouths.”

Derrick claps Jean on he back. “My guy! Fuck yes. The word you’re looking for is cunnilingus.”

Jean’s brows knit together. “I am not sure it is.”

“Okay, giving head. Going down on her. Eating pussy. Am I missing any?” Derrick turns to Jeremy, who probably looks like a deer in headlights.

“Um, eating someone out?” He suggests.

“You’d know all about that, eh Cap?” Derrick teases.

“Have you ever been with a woman?” Jean asks, confusion clear on his face.

“Oh, no I meant eating ass,” Derrick corrects, elbowing Jeremy lightly in the ribs. “Similar mechanics.”

“And this is enjoyable?” Jean asks, but his question is directed at Derrick and not Jeremy.

“Hell yes, brother. Not just for dudes either. When my girlfriend in high school was on her period, I’d eat her ass instead.”

“I did not need to know that,” Jean says, looking vaguely queasy.

“I just loved eating her out too much not to get my mouth on her for a whole week,” Derrick says, grinning. “What about you? Did you like it?”

Jean’s eye flick to Jeremy for a second before returning to Derrick. The tips of his ears and the highest parts of his cheeks are bright pink as he says, “Yes.”

Jeremy can’t feel his fingers. He feels like his arms are starting to go numb. Derrick slaps Jean’s back again, leaving his hand on his shoulder to give a little extra squeeze.

“I am done with this ridiculous conversation,” Jean grumbles, but his soft smile is still gracing his lips. “I am going to find Catalina.”

At Jean’s retreating back, Derrick yells, “Ask her for pussy eating advice!”

A couple people turn to look at them, but they go back to their own conversations easily.

“Sorry you had to hear all that,” Derrick says. “I’m sure it isn’t easy to listen to. But you were great, super supportive.”

Jeremy feels his eyebrows tug together. “I don’t think I even said anything.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t freak out like you did on Cody.”

Jeremy didn’t know anyone else knew about that. He assumes Cat told Laila, but Jeremy didn’t even think Jean knew about Jeremy knowing. He assumed no one else knew about the two of them. If Derrick knows, that means others probably know. Pat and Ananya almost definitely know.

So why didn’t Jean tell Jeremy?

“That definitely wasn’t my best moment,” Jeremy says.

“Ah, but it’s understandable. He’s your guy.”

“He’s not my anything.”

“He’s your partner,” Derrick points out. 



“Exactly. My role in Jean’s life is Captain, partner, and occasional roommate. Nothing else.”

“If you say so,” Derrick says, warily.

“I do.”

***

Jeremy spends weeks wondering why Jean hasn’t told him about sleeping with Cody. Even after Jean hooks up with that girl, they continue to sleep together. Jeremy doesn’t know how often, he thankfully doesn’t have to see or hear anything else, but he knows it’s still happening. Cat mentions them spending time together, and then at practice the next day Jean has a hickey on his chest. It’s right next to his nipple, deep maroon and mouth shaped. Jeremy thinks he’s the only one to notice, because no one says anything. One night when Jeremy has been allowed to stay at the lofts, Jean comes back late. He sweeps into their room, quickly changing out for bed with his back to Jeremy. There are tiny scratches on his shoulders, little nail marks and red welts against Jean’s pale skin. Jean doesn’t even say anything to Jeremy, just falls into bed and is asleep in minutes.

Jeremy can’t help but feel like he’s losing Jean. He believes Cody that they aren’t dating, that Cody will still end up with Pat and Ananya at some point, but still this silence spreads between Jeremy are his partner. A chasm that Jeremy doesn’t know how to bridge.

Eventually, Jeremy can’t take it anymore. Cat and Laila are in the living room, Jeopardy playing in the background, while Jean makes them dinner. They’ve been practicing letting Jean cook without Cat’s supervision, so Jeremy keeps him company at the island, LSAT books spread out in front of him.

“Are you going to see Cody tonight?” Jeremy asks, breaking the comfortable silence between them. He means for it to come out lightly, but even to Jeremy’s ears, it sounds like an accusation.

Jean stills the knife in his hand, the sound of carrots chopping going quiet. Without turning to look at Jeremy, he says, “Non.”

“Oh, why not?”

This makes Jean turn. His eyes scan over Jeremy’s face, attempting to read something in his features. “They are having dinner with Pat and Ananya.”

“Didn’t think that would stop you guys,” Jeremy says, before he can stop it.

Jean lets out a long breath. “Have I done something wrong?”

“What?”

“Is it wrong for me to sleep with Cody when I know they have feelings for other people?”

The question is genuine, which pulls Jeremy up short. Jean is sincerely wondering if he is doing something wrong.

“No! No, that’s not what I was implying!” Jeremy says.

“Then what were you implying?” Jean asks.

“Nothing!”

“Cody told me they were okay with it. They said Pat and Ananya are okay with it; they don’t care who Cody sleeps with. Cody even said they don’t care if I have feelings for someone else too.”

“If?”

Jean doesn’t answer, just stares at Jeremy like he’s trying to figure him out.

“If I am not doing anything wrong, why are you so unhappy?” Jean asks.

Jeremy sputters for a moment.

“And do not try to tell me you are not unhappy, you have been unhappy for months now!”

“There’s just a lot on my plate, with class and the team, and the LSATs-”

“Please do not lie to me,” Jean interrupts softly. “If I am making you unhappy…”

As Jean trails off, they sit and stare at each other across the island. Jeremy wants to deny, say that nothing Jean could do would make him unhappy. But it feels like a lie.

“I’m so sorry,” he finally says. Jean’s eyebrows knit together.

“For what?”

“For not being happier for you! You deserve to explore your sexuality, with whomever you choose. I mean, God, Jean, you’re barely twenty.”

“You have meaningless sex all the time.”



“I know! I’m a hypocrite,” Jeremy says miserably.

“I still do not understand why it should make you unhappy.”

Jeremy doesn’t think he can answer that without giving himself away entirely, so he doesn’t say anything.

“I know why I do not like your hookups,” Jean continues. “They do not treat you well, and I think you do it to hurt yourself more than anything else.”



When Jeremy doesn’t deny it, Jean keeps talking.

“Cody is nice to me, they are helping me. I do not think I am hurting myself. The things we do together, they feel good. They feel safe and easy. We do not have to worry about one of us wanting more than the other can give. It makes me feel like my body can be for good things too; I can make myself feel good, I can make others feel good. Maybe I am not in love with Cody, but I do feel very strongly toward them. I care about them a great deal.”

Jeremy nods. His throat feels tight, and his eyes sting with unshed tears.

“That! That’s what I’m talking about, I am describing something good, and you are sad!” Jean exclaims.

Jeremy wipes at his eyes and groans. “I’m jealous, okay? I know I’m being stupid, so I haven’t wanted to burden you with all of these things I’m feeling that I don’t even want to be feeling!”

Jean blinks, confused.

“You are jealous? Of what?”

“Don’t make me say it.”

“Of Cody? I did not think you had feelings for-”

“No, I don’t have feelings for Cody.”

“Do you wish you were friends with the men you sleep with?”

Jeremy laughs, “No, that’s not what I want. Jean, do you really not know?”

Jean just looks at Jeremy, completely lost. Jeremy didn’t think it was possible for Jean not to know. Derrick and Derek know, Cat has known forever, half the team probably knows. Jeremy didn’t have to say anything to Laila, and she’s known the whole time. How could he not know?

“Jean, I-I have feelings for-for you. I looked for you at that party and I saw you in that bedroom with Cody, and I heard you having sex with them here one time, and I wanted to be chill and supportive, and instead I’ve been petty and jealous and rude.”

Jean’s face is pale, like he just saw a ghost.

“You-” he says, blinking rapidly. “For me?”

“Yeah,” Jeremy croaks.

“But-but you never…”

“How could I say anything? I knew you were attracted to men, and I was pretty sure you looked at me, but I didn’t want…” Jeremy trails off.

“You didn’t want me?”

“What? No! I want you too much!”

Over the course of the conversation, Jean has inched closer and closer, rounding the island to stand in front of Jeremy’s stool. Now, he grabs Jeremy’s chin between his fingers.

“Why is it too much?” He asks, looking into Jeremy’s eyes. Jeremy can’t help but let his eyes flit down to Jean’s mouth. “You know. I know you know how I feel about you.”

Jeremy nods. “I do.”



“Then why?”

“I can’t be what you need,” Jeremy whispers.

“And what do I need?”

“Someone better than me.”

Jean makes a disgusted noise and steps away from Jeremy, turning his back to him. Jeremy doesn’t know what he said wrong.

“Sometimes, you are an imbecile,” Jean says, and it makes a laugh bubble out of Jeremy’s throat.

“That’s true.”

“You do not understand. Jeremy, there is no one better than you. Not to me.”

Jeremy’s eyes well up as he stares at Jean, hands on the counter and head hanging between his shoulders. Finally, Jean turns back to look at Jeremy.

“You are everything to me, Captain,” he says.

Jeremy’s breath catches in his throat, and then he’s really crying. “I’ve never even been in a real relationship.”

“Neither have I,” Jean argues.

“But we’re partners-”

“I am not a Raven anymore, so Raven rules do not apply here,” Jean says, anticipating Jeremy’s argument.

“But-” Jeremy doesn’t get any more words out, because Jean is back in his space, pressing the small of his back into the island behind him.

“Stop making excuses. What did I say, Jeremy? Fuck what I deserve.”

Jeremy inhales sharply through his nose. Jean’s arms are braced on either side of him, caging Jeremy in like the scared animal he is.

“I know what I want.” Jean whispers, breath ghosting over Jeremy’s face. “Do you want me?”

Jeremy has barely nodded before Jean’s lips are on his. Jeremy has never been kissed like this before; soft and languid, but somehow all fire. Jeremy stands from his stool to put more pressure behind the kiss, and Jean hums into his mouth.

“Jean,” Jeremy gasps against his lips. Jean’s hands are on Jeremy’s waist now, gripping tight enough to feel, but not enough to bruise. Jeremy grabs for Jean’s shoulders, wanting to get his hands on every single inch of Jean. Their height difference is barely notable on a good day, but pressed up against each other like this, Jeremy can feel every single inch Jean has on him. Jean has to duck his head to reach Jeremy’s lips, and Jeremy can feel his calfs straining as he pushes up into the kiss.

“I want you,” Jean pants. Jeremy’s dick gives a kick in his running shorts.

“I want you so bad,” Jeremy groans, and then Jean’s hands are gripping Jeremy by the thighs and hauling him up onto the island, legs wrapping around Jean’s waist. “Fuck.”

Jean shivers and looks at Jeremy’s lips. “I like when you curse.”

“Fuck,” he says again, just to see Jean’s eyes darken further. “Goddamn. Motherfucker. Shit”

“Mmm, talk dirty to me,” Jean whispers.

Jeremy can’t hold in the large cackle that inspires. He throws his head back and relishes the feeling of Jean giggling into his neck. “I know some French ones too! Merde. Putain. Va the faire foutre.”

“You just told me to go fuck myself,” Jean says.

“Really?”

“Yes. Also putain technically means whore.”

“I definitely didn’t know that one. I like it.”

“On devrait baiser,” Jean says into Jeremy’s mouth.

“We should… something. I don’t know that word. Baiser?” He says, trying out the word.

Jean bites his lip. “It means fuck.”

Jeremy’s pulse picks up speed, his position with his legs around Jean’s waist suddenly feeling a lot more intimate.

“Oh,” he says, breathless. “Yeah. We should. We should fuck.”

Jean’s jaw goes slack for a moment, and then they’re kissing again. It’s more feverish, more insistent; Jean’s hands grip Jeremy’s thighs, tugging him closer and pressing their bodies flush against each other. Then, Jeremy’s ass is lifting from the island and-

Oh my god, Jeremy is being carried through the apartment, towards their bedroom. Their bedroom.

“Holy shit, Jean,” Jeremy breathes. “This is so hot.”

Their fervour is short lived, because there’s a note taped to their bedroom door.

Laila’s messy handwriting on the back of a takeout menu reads, “We heard you guys arguing and decided to have an impromptu date night. Congrats on figuring it out. We’ll be back in three hours xoxo.”

And then below that, in Cat’s scrawl, “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do ;)”

Jean throws the paper over his shoulder and sets Jeremy on the ground. He only pouts a little bit.

“That is very embarrassing,” Jeremy says.

“I guess this means I can’t suck your dick?” Jean muses, making Jeremy choke. “Catalina probably would not do that.”

Jeremy follows behind Jean, into their bedroom, with a lot less urgency.

“Is that something you want to do?” Jeremy asks.

“Oui,” Jean says simply, sitting on his bed over the covers.

Jeremy stands before him, taking him in now that he feels like he’s allowed to look his fill.

“Okay. I would like that a lot.”

“I have been told I am good with my mouth,” Jean says with a tiny, barely noticeable smirk.

Jeremy steps forward, putting himself within Jean’s reach. Jean doesn’t disappoint; he wraps his arms around Jeremy’s waist, and pulls him onto the bed. They end up with Jean on his back, Jeremy’s entire body weight on top of him.

“I’ve heard good things,” Jeremy finally replies, pressing their lips together. Jean laughs into his mouth.

“From who?”

“From Cody. I told you, I overheard you guys hooking up here once.”

Jean groans and hides his face in Jeremy’s neck. “Please tell me it is not the time I’m thinking of.”

“I don’t know, are you thinking about the time you blew them at the front door?”

Jean groans again. “You were here for that?”

“Yeah. Had to go for a run so I wouldn’t stay here and listen to you fuck them.”

Jean squints up at Jeremy.

“What?”

“You are not upset about the two of us?”

“Oh no, I totally was. I accidentally tore a strip off of Cody at that party when you first hooked up. Or, I guess I’m just assuming it was the first time.”

“It was. You went to meet up with a guy, and Cody saw that I was sad,” Jean says, and Jeremy’s heart sinks.

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize. We were not dating, I knew I didn’t have any claim over you. As much as I wished I did.”

Jeremy has to lean down to kiss him. They get distracted for a moment; kissing while horizontal is a completely different ball game. Jean manhandles Jeremy until his knees are on either side of Jean’s hips, straddling his waist. They’re both panting when they pull back.

“You did though, even then,” Jeremy says. “I haven’t been with anyone else since that party.”

“Why not? You knew I was having sex with someone else, evidently right from the beginning.”

“It just didn’t feel right. I didn’t want anyone but you, and I couldn’t keep convincing myself anymore that I did. No one else was ever going to measure up to you. Plus, I had already been thinking about you in the middle of it anyway.”

Jean’s eyes darken. “Really?”

“Yeah, really. After I saw Cody kiss you, and I… heard the sounds you made when you felt good. There was no going back from that.”

Jean leans his face into Jeremy’s neck and starts kissing the spot below his ear. Jeremy’s breath hitches, and his mostly soft dick starts to get back in the game.

“I would like to hear your sounds,” Jean mutters into Jeremy’s skin. Jeremy hums in response to the barest hint of teeth on his earlobe.

“You’re on the right track,” Jeremy sighs.

“We can discuss how we feel more later,” Jean says. “I would like to do something else now.”

“What do you want? I’d give you anything, Jean.”

Jean pauses, thinking, and then he says, “Can I fuck you?”

Pleasure zings down to Jeremy’s cock at the words. He moans at both them and Jean’s lips attaching to the space where Jeremy’s neck meets his shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah I want that,” Jeremy pants. “Fuck, I want that so much.”

“Say it,” Jean demands.

“I want you to fuck me.”

Suddenly, Jeremy is being flipped over. He lands on his back with a light gust of air, and his whole body tingles with the sensation of being moved so easily. Jean’s muscular arms settle on either side of Jeremy’s head, biceps bulging under the effort of holding himself up.

“God, you are so beautiful,” Jeremy says. Jean flushes pink.

“Tu es si beau. Je pourrais te regarder pour toujours,” he replies.

Jeremy swears his heart skips a beat. “That’s not fair, French is too sexy. It’s like having bedroom superpowers.”

Jean laughs and leans down to kiss him. Being pressed into a mattress by Jean Moreau will probably be Jeremy’s downfall. The kisses stray to Jeremy’s cheek and jaw, and then they’re trailing down to his collarbone. Jean sits up to drag Jeremy’s shirt off of him, and then Jean’s lips are making their way down again. He stops when he gets to Jeremy’s stomach, the hair leading into his shorts, and he looks up at Jeremy.

“Can I take these off too?”

Jeremy nods, and then Jean is kissing his happy trail down, letting his tongue dip out to lick at the hair there. Jeremy lifts his hips to let Jean slide his shorts and underwear off, and then Jean is nuzzling his nose into the crease of Jeremy’s thigh.

“Jean,” he gasps. Jean’s tongue is laving at Jeremy’s skin, tasting all of the new parts he has access to. He starts mouthing at the base of Jeremy’s dick, nose pressed into the thatch of hair and breathing in deeply. “You’re gonna fucking kill me.”

Then, Jean takes the head of Jeremy’s dick into his mouth. He suckles gently, tonguing at his slit, and then moving to rub right under the head. Jesus, he is good at this. Jeremy groans and grips the blanket below him between his fingers. Jean pulls back and says, “You can touch me. And I want to hear how it feels.”

He ducks back down to take him in his mouth, taking him further. Sucking more of Jeremy’s cock down his throat. Jeremy’s hands settle on Jean’s shoulders, one of them tucking into the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Oh god, Jean,” Jeremy groans. “Feels so good. You feel so good, doing so good.”



Jean groans, sending vibrations right to Jeremy’s core. Interesting.

“You really like that, huh? Like being told you’re doing a good job? Want me to call you a good boy?”

Jean answers by sucking Jeremy all the way down to the root, his throat working around the head as he swallows. The sound Jeremy makes can only be described as a whimper, and satisfaction emanates from Jean in waves.

“Jean! Jean, Jesus, you’re so good at this, you’re gonna make me come.”

Jean pulls back, letting Jeremy’s dick fall from his mouth.

“Do you still want me to fuck you?” Jean asks, voice gravelly.

Jeremy groans and throws his head back. “Yeah, fuck, I wanna come with you inside me.”

Jean rests his forehead on Jeremy’s hip and he whines, and then mutters, “Putain de merde.”

“Do you have lube and condoms in here?” Jeremy asks. “Mine are in my car.”

Jean nods and stands from the bed. He pulls open his underwear drawer and comes back with lube and a strip of condoms. Jeremy can’t help but think of Cody laying here in his position. He bites his lip and says, “Did Cody buy you those?”

Jean gives him a weird look and says, “Yes. Does that bother you?”

Jeremy considers it for a moment and then replies, “No, I guess not. As long as they don’t get to use any more of them.”

Jean rolls his eyes and drops onto the bed with Jeremy. He presses their lips together briefly.

“There will only ever be you,” Jean whispers into Jeremy’s mouth.

Jeremy beams. “You’re amazing.”

“Et toi aussi,” Jean replies.

“Wow, that really does it for me,” Jeremy says. “You should get naked.”

Jean stands again, and tears his shirt off. Then he reaches down to unbutton his pants, and Jeremy can feel his cock twitch against his stomach. He lets his eyes drink in the miles of exposed skin, tracking the descent of his jeans to the floor. It leaves Jean in just his black boxer briefs, and Jeremy’s mouth waters. Jean’s fingers catch on the waistband and pull them down. Jean’s cock is hard and leaking, flushed red and standing at full attention. Jeremy wants to get it in his mouth, but even more so he wants to get fucked.

“You’re big,” Jeremy says, licking his lips. Jean flushes all the way down his chest.

“What do you like? Do you want me to open you up first?” Jean asks as he kneels on the bed.

It's been quite a while since Jeremy has had anything in his ass. Even his most recent hookups, months prior at this point, had been Jeremy fucking someone else. But he knows he likes the stretch and burn. He shakes his head and spreads his legs to make room for Jean.

“I’ll tell you if it doesn’t feel good,” Jeremy promises, and then he drags Jean into a heated kiss. He reaches out to wrap his hand around Jean’s cock, and Jean whimpers.

“Non, do not touch me right now if you want us to keep going,” Jean says.

Jeremy grins in satisfaction and keeps his hands to himself. Jean opens one of the condoms and rolls it down over his dick with practiced ease. When he reaches for the lube, he reaches down between Jeremy’s legs to touch his hole. Jeremy sighs and lets Jean get him wet, before he pulls back and spreads the lube on his dick. Jean holds Jeremy’s legs up, pressing them into his chest. Jeremy holds his own thighs so Jean has his hands free, and then Jeremy feels the tip of Jean’s dick against his hole. Jeremy takes a deep breath and relaxes his body.

“I want it. I want you so bad,” Jeremy says between them. Jean groans and presses forward.

The head of Jean’s cock breaches and Jean stops to let Jeremy adjust. Jeremy hums and says, “Keep going.”

Jean nods and inches forward at a snail’s pace. His face is screwed up in concentration, and Jeremy can’t believe he gets to do this with him. Jean bottoms out and pauses with his eyes closed, breathing through his nose. Jeremy feels the significant stretch in his hole, but it feels amazing. Jean Moreau has his cock in Jeremy’s ass, and Jeremy is grinning like an idiot.

“What?” Jean asks with a huff.

“Nothing,” Jeremy replies through his smile. “I’m just so happy to be here.”

Jean laugh and tucks his face into Jeremy’s neck. “I am fighting for my life here.”

Jeremy can’t hold in his peels of laughter. Jean huffs again, but Jeremy can feel the smile pressed into his skin. Jeremy lets his arms settle around Jean, holding him close. He doesn’t ever want Jean any farther away again.

“I am going to move now,” Jean says.

“Okay,” Jeremy grins.

Then Jean pulls out and pushes back in, only a couple of inches, but it's more than enough. The smile drops from Jeremy’s face and he lets out a high-pitched whine.

“Oh god, Jean.”

Jean grunts in return, pace picking up as he gets into the rhythm. Jeremy doesn’t think anything has ever felt this good; not the best Exy goal, not any amount of meaningless sex, not all the drugs in the world. Just this, Jean on top of him and inside of him, moving with purpose and hitting that spot inside of Jeremy like he’s getting paid for it.

“Fuck, yes, just like that. Jean. Jean!” Jeremy babbles.

“Jeremy,” Jean moans, his accent thick like butter.

“Yes, fuck, Jean. Say my name.”

“Jeremy, capitaine,” Jean whines. “Putain. Putain de merde, Jeremy.”

Jeremy throws his head back, sounds tearing their way out of his throat. Jean sits up, looming over Jeremy, pulling at Jeremy’s legs until they settle over his shoulders. He snaps his hips into Jeremy harder, barely pulling out at all before he’s bullying himself back into Jeremy’s body.

“Holy shit, Jean,” Jeremy pants. “Keep going, don’t fucking stop, I’m gonna come.”

Jean growls, taking hold of Jeremy’s cock and stripping it fast and hard until Jeremy is shouting and sparks are shooting down his spine. He comes hard, eyes squeezed shut and clenching around Jean’s cock. Jean whimpers and stills as he fills the condom. Jeremy can just barely feel Jean’s cock twitching inside of him, kicking out a last spurt of come. He collapses onto Jeremy’s chest a moment later, breathing hard. Jeremy’s legs feel like jelly where they settle back around Jean’s hips. He hums in contentment, cherishing Jean’s full weight on top of him. Eventually, Jean pulls back and presses their lips together in a messy, panting approximation of a kiss.

“Holy fuck, Jean.”

Jean hums in response.

“That was amazing. You’re amazing,” Jeremy says, and he can hear the awe in his own voice.

“Je vous aime tellement,” Jean whispers.

“I think I’m in love with you,” Jeremy says before he can stop himself.

Jean pulls sharply back to look at Jeremy. Maybe he’s looking for a lie, but when he doesn’t find one, he presses their lips together.

“Je t’aime,” Jean says into his lips.

“Je t’aime aussi,” Jeremy replies.

They kiss for ages, Jean’s soft cock slipping out of Jeremy’s body at some point, but neither of them make any moves to get up. Jeremy has come on his chest and it is most definitely smearing all over Jean’s skin too, but if he isn’t complaining, Jeremy isn’t either.

“I am sweaty,” Jean says eventually.

Jeremy giggles and says, “Yeah.”

“I am going to have a shower. Would you join me?” Jean asks quietly. Jeremy’s mouth drops open in surprise.

“Really?”

“Oui. I think it would be nice, having you in there with me,” Jean replies, finally extricating himself from the bed, tossing his condom in the trashcan. Jeremy grins and hops out of bed. He doesn’t bother to put any clothes on, just traipses to the bathroom fully naked. He enjoys the hungry look Jean sends him greatly.

Jean closes the bathroom door behind him, two towels draped over one arm. Jeremy turns the shower on.

“What temperature?” Jeremy asks.

“Warmer is better,” Jean replies.

When Jeremy turns back from the shower to look at Jean, his eyes snap up from Jeremy’s ass. Jeremy grins at him, and Jean scowls.

“You can look,” Jeremy tells him. “In fact, I really, really like when you look at me.”

Jean’s eyebrows raise. “Is that so?”

“Yeah. I want you to look at me.”

Jean lets his eyes track down Jeremy’s body, pausing at his cock, and then sticking on his legs. Jean steps forward and reaches out to grab at Jeremy’s ass. He holds each cheek in his massive hands and kneads into them, pulling them apart in a way that makes Jeremy blush.

“Tes jambes sont ridicules,” Jean whispers and then they’re kissing again.

Jeremy pulls himself reluctantly back and says, “Okay, lets stop wasting water.”

Jeremy pulls back the shower curtain, and they get in. Jeremy gets under the spray first, getting himself soaked and reaching for the soap quickly. Jean’s hand reaches out to stop him, touching his wet skin.

“Are you sure this is okay?” Jeremy checks.

Jean nods, and asks, “Can I do it for you?”

It takes a second for Jeremy to get what he means, but then he passes the bar of soap to Jean. He brings it to Jeremy’s skin and starts lathering up his chest and shoulders. He brings it down his arms, and then even does Jeremy’s armpits when he lifts his arms. The hand not holding the soap drags down Jeremy’s belly, getting his sides all soapy and then moving on to his hips. Then the hand dips lower and he’s soaping up Jeremy’s dick. He had been totally soft a second ago, but Jean’s gentle, slippery passes over his balls and up his shaft are enough to have Jeremy swiftly approaching hardness. Jean sets the soap down and drags Jeremy forward by his hips until he is no longer under the spray. Then, Jean’s soapy hands grab at Jeremy’s ass again. He is ostensibly cleaning Jeremy, but mostly he’s just touching for the sake of it. One of his fingers dips between Jeremy’s cheeks and presses against his asshole. He makes sure there isn’t any lube left on his body, and then he just keeps touching, stroking that one finger over his hole, but never actually entering.

“You should let me eat your ass sometime,” Jeremy says. Jean gets even pinker than the heat of the shower already had him. “I am also pretty good with my mouth.”

Jean presses into Jeremy, connecting their lips, but also connecting their wet, naked bodies. Jeremy moans into the kiss.

Jean pulls back and says, “Let me get clean, and then we can leave. I am not getting injured and having to miss a game because we tried to have sex in the shower.”

Jeremy quickly rinses all the soap off of his body, and then switches spots with Jean to wash his body for him. Jeremy is quicker about it, conscious of the length of time they’d already been under the spray. He can’t help himself from touching Jean’s cock a little bit more than necessary, but Jean doesn’t seem to mind.

They step out of the shower and Jeremy realizes that they didn’t bring any clothes to put on. They dry each other off, relishing being allowed to touch as much as they want. Then Jean wraps one of the towels around Jeremy’s waist and secures it, so Jeremy does the same for Jean. He leans up and presses his lips to Jean’s.

“I can’t believe I get to do this with you,” Jeremy whispers into Jean’s lips.

“I feel the same,” Jean says.

“I love you,” Jeremy says, because he can. Jean brings their lips back together, but they can’t keep kissing through their smiles.

They step out of the bathroom with the intention of running straight to their bedroom, but Cat and Laila stroll through the front door at the same time and intercept them.

“Holy shit, did you guys just shower together?” Cat bellows. Laila has a pleased smirk on her face.

“Evidently,” Jean says, monotone.

“We’re very happy for you both,” Laila says, her voice smug. She elbows Cat. “Aren’t we, babe?”

“Yes, SUPER happy for you guys,” Cat agrees. “Did you guys already fuck?”

All three of them let out the same indignant, “Cat!” She just cackles as she heads to the kitchen to put away the leftovers from their dinner.

When Cat is out of earshot, Laila asks, “Did you though?”

Neither of them answer, but they both turn pink, so Laila laughs and follows her girlfriend to the kitchen. Jean and Jeremy can finally escape to their room and put on clothes. They both put on sweats and t-shirts, but Jeremy snags one of Jean’s black shirts and pulls it over his head. Jean looks at him strangely.

“What?” Jeremy asks.

“You don’t look right in black,” Jean replies.

“I’m only wearing it because it smells like you,” Jeremy admits. Jean’s pleased little smile makes Jeremy grin.

They find Cat and Laila in the living room, curled up together in the large papasan chair they got to replace the one they lost. They don’t say anything as Jean and Jeremy plop onto the couch. Jean pulls Jeremy to sit leaning against Jean, and Jeremy settles in happily. There’s a movie Jeremy has seen before playing on the TV. Jean whispers into Jeremy’s temple, “Good?”

Jeremy nods, “Yeah, perfect.”