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Locking eyes with Baek Saheon for a moment, he tried to appear calm. He wasn't sure if he was successful, though. Baek Saheon still stared at him with wide eyes.
He didn't think he would be so shocked. He thought he would've just brushed it off as one of his psychopath tendencies and spew a curse or two. But he didn't. The moment Baek Saheon walked into the bathroom, he froze.
'Well, I don't blame him. This does look pretty bad.'
Soleum wasn't careful enough, he admitted to himself. He should've expected the possibility of his roommate needing to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. Should have done this in his room like before.
He just... thought it would be more convenient this way, to wash away the blood and stop the bleeding. The bandages and med kits were in the bathroom, after all.
And Brown didn't demand for much. This was done out of fear, to be exact. To emphasize a clear line between him and the host. To please him, somehow. Make sure he doesn't get on his bad side.
Ever since visiting the fox counseling office, he had re-found his fear of Brown. It was a good thing, really. He needed to be careful around that guy, Brown was still a ghost story. His fear prevents him from getting too attached. At least, he hopes so.
Soleum put down the razor blade in his left hand and took a small breath in secret to compose himself.
Then he turned to Baek Saheon with a smile. He just had to look insane, it should erase any suspicions his roommate might have. Who knows what that psychopath would do if he thought Soleum was cutting himself out of stress? If he thinks Soleum is depressed, he might see it as a weakness and do something bad. Like taking advantage of it to get items or something.
Luckily, Kim Soleum isn't depressed as far as he's aware.
"It's impolite to come in without knocking, Baek Saheon." He spoke with a smile.
Baek Saheon looked angry. Perhaps also frustrated.
"Are you having fun? Is it really so fun to mess with me, Supervisor?"
"..."
"Or do you seriously take cutting yourself as a form of entertainment, huh?"
No.
Baek Saheon took a glance at the pink bunny plush lying in a tiny bathtub, pointing at it in an accusatory manner.
'Please don't do that.'
"Is this entertaining to that fucking friend of yours too?"
Soleum looked over to Brown as well. But the host did not speak. He's just... watching.
'Is he angry? I'm sorry, Brown.'
He needed to finish this quick.
"...Yes? Is that a problem? You could have avoided seeing this had you just knocked."
He pulled his sleeve down, holding his hand still as best as he could. Don't shake. You can't shake. He went to pick Brown up carefully, along with the mini bathtub. The only thing on his mind being to get out of here quickly before something goes wrong.
Baek Saheon glared at him, holding back more curses. He ignored him, walking towards the door.
"Does being in pain gives you dopamine?"
Baek Saheon asked again.
... 'Of course not. Who likes being in pain?'
It was such a stupid question. The wound was fresh, and it stung so badly. Just like everyone else Soleum didn't like getting hurt. He didn't even have the time to stop his bleeding yet. To be honest, his mind was getting hazy to the point where he felt like he might pass out. But he couldn't afford to. He still has to return to his room. He still has to fill the bloodbathtub.
But the words that left his mouth were different.
"It's a funny feeling. Are you interested?"
"No!!"
"That's too bad. I was going to offer to lend you a hand if you were."
Baek Saheon backed away as he passed him by and left the bathroom. That should've been the end of it. But when the blood soaked the sleeve and Soleum felt the wound that stung even worser the moment he focused on the red. Tears fell down.
And it splattered onto the floor.
Kim Soleum stopped walking.
...
"Sir."
'It hurts... I can't shift my attention away.'
Even if he tried to hold back the tears, he couldn't stop them from falling, reacting to the pain. His vision became blurry. Walk... please. I need to go. I need to go back to my room. It's bleeding. Kim Soleum begged his legs to move, now hyper-aware of the blood that was spilling out. I'm scared.
He held onto the bloodbathtub tightly. He can't drop Brown. If he couldn't move, he needed to hold onto the bathtub and the plush. His hands were shaking against his will. His body weren't listening to him. His thoughts were spiraling, and he could faintly hear someone calling out to him. Who...
The voice got close, right in front of him.
"What's wrong with you?" Ah. Baek Saheon... his voice was strangely quiet.
"Hey. You're hurt, aren't you? If it hurts, just say it. It piss me off when you try to act like you like the pain. Why are you trying so hard to be a creep? What do you gain from acting that way with me?"
He couldn't comprehend why Baek Saheon was saying all these things to him while he was barely holding onto his consciousness. What does he say?
"Go away..."
"You're being an ass even when you're in that sorry state?"
What was I supposed to say? It's because I'm scared of you? As if I'd tell him that. I'd be fucked if I did. This guy is a real psychopath.
"I'm not hurt. I'm used to it."
"...? What?"
"I said I'm used to it."
Soleum hoped that was convincing enough. It's... not entirely untrue, right? It's what he had to do to survive in this world, so...
But a response he didn't expect came.
"Cutting yourself isn't something you get used to."
I know.
"You can't just get used to seeing blood spilled out of your body."
...I know.
Soleum didn't know what was going through Baek Saheon's mind to make him say all these things, but his head cleared a little after hearing those words. He needed to stop the bleeding and the pain.
When Baek Saheon stopped talking, he mustered up all the strength he had left and sprinted into his bedroom, slamming the door shut. He leaned on the door and slid down, legs giving out. He set the bathtub on the ground. Then he pulled out a Happy Maker, injecting himself with trembling hands. Only then did the pain subside.
– That was quite the scene, friend!
Was he watching it like a show?
'I'm glad you had fun.'