Chapter Text
August 23rd 2024
Tuesday
(I know I'm narrating this in 2025)
Oh my god! Oh my god! Marinette screamed in her head, followed by a panicked train of emotions. Adrien is Chat Noir! Adrien is Chat Noir! Adrien is Chat Noir! Rang in her ears like a furious melody. She couldn't think straight or walk straight. Was her vision blurry?
Marinette paced around the room trying to calm herself. Alya was right! So totally and utterly right! Marinette remembered the pictures Alya shared with her one fine summer afternoon, of Adrien in a badly drawn leather cat costume. One could say, "it was ridiculous utterly ridiculous!" It was ridiculous and very very right to Marinette.
Marinette felt like her whole world came crashing down like a building being demolished by a wrecking ball. What was a theory to Alya was the poor girls reality. She shoved her chances of kissing Adrien fucking Agreste every time he made a move in his little show piece called a 'cat costume.' Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Her mind repeated like a chant, The blond chick was flirting with her! F L I R T I N G! with...H E R! The 'innocent' little model boy was not very innocent after all. Ladybug had watched him make many dirty jokes. Ranging from "ignore him" to full on side eyes. He somehow did it without being offensive and rude. She watched him make so many stupid jokes and puns. Watched him and his stupid..stupid...hot no stupid ego. He is not hot... nope. Nope. Nope. But Adrien is..so by default so is Chat! Chat is hot? I mean have you seen those back muscles? Marinette smirk fell. Chat is hot!
However, Adrien, is the image of innocent. With his signature colour, white and his soft rounded features and his 5'4 stance. This only lasted for six years. (10 to 16)
During the 3 months of the blissful nature of summer vacation (may june july) Adrien had to tour the world for his show called, 'The Agreste Brand Meet.' Nino hated that name, he referred to it as the, 'Adrien's Father Hates Him Meet.' He grew allot. Marinette was once eye to eye with the model, after the break he was 8 inches taller. Making him a head taller than our little Pink addict. Marinette had stopped growing two years before so there was zero chance. Marinette cried in failure and Adrien danced in triumph.
It made sense for why he was much taller. Biologically men are taller than woman. Let's not forget that Marinette's mom is extremely short compared to Adrien's dad who stands at 6'4 and his mom who used to reach 5'11. Don't we all love a tall queen?
During the summer Adrien got much more muscular. His shoulders broadened and his features sharpened up. His father made the blond chick take a well deserved break because he no longer would look in place if he modeled children's clothes or the more soft aesthetic. Puberty hit him the same amount of force that 2 black holes require to merge! Or if your basic, puberty hit him like a truck. Boooo!
Adrien had recently ended his break. His handsome return was in every magazine. His complete persona did a 360. Blind boy now exclusively modeled more dark, edgy and masculine clothes. Definitely a change for him but hey! He was a model he is supposed to be flexible! His rebrand was a huge hit! Marinette really wished she never bought a single fashion magazine for this week or until this line was gone.
Tikki watched her little bug pace on the wooden floors of the attic as she took in the smell of the bread from downstairs. The walls of the attic painted pink since she was born and they stayed pink to this day. The oldest kwami watched her poor owner's feeling contemplate and fight themselves. Tikki stared at the Magazine of New hits wishing she never looked at it bought it or flipped through the pages of pure talent. Of course we exclude the Kardashian produces with the talent claim. Back on topic, if Marinette was not the guardian, they would be chewed out by Master Fu for not being more careful. Atlas, the moment has passed and you cannot go and relive a single moment of life, thus you should treasure time as you can not go back to a moment, you can only remember it.
Tikki flew out of under the computer? Laptop? I don't know I'm just the narrator! The tiny god with the power to destroy the world with creation gently approached the shaken girl. She had to muster up the courage to talk. So she took a cold breath of air. "Marinette?" Tikki said, voice screaming of worry.
"Oh...my..God!" Marinette cried out. The spotted god sat on the raven locks of her short owner - probably the shortest head she has ever sat on. ohhh burn (I'm shorter than this marinette AU (5'4)) She felt the itch of the individual strands of hair on her ass.
"Marinette you cannot let this effect your duty!" Tikki reminded Mari.
"I know Tikki! I know," Marinette's voice wavered, "its just..."
"Finish your sentence," Tikki warned, lasers basically coming out of her black soulful eyes. She would toss whip her hair back if she had a strand.
"I dont know! Hes perfect, kind, sweet, handsome...sexy, charming and empathetic," Marinette pranced around the room until she came to an abrupt stop. She placed her hands on her face and felt the soft but bumpy from bitchy acne, skin of her freckled cheek, "but Chat Noir? Hes uncool, un-charming-"
Tikki cuts her off, "thats not a word!"
Marinette ignored her and continued, "Chat Noir, hes also sweet, kind and..empathetic now that I think about it..he is cute maybe more.." Marinette sat on her chaise.
A few hours later. I can't believe I observed this! Marinette and Tikki had a long talk on the pink - mother fucking again - chaise. The soft fabric of the chaise accompanied by the smell of suger soothed Marinette to an extent. They both came to different conclusions. Guess who's won. Tikki thought it would be best to tell the sly cat the complete, full, no leaving things out. Really the full truth. Marinette on the other hand, was going to play, in her words, an extraordinary game! Tikki really tried to turn the omnivores, aphid eating, marry-go-round mind girl into the good side. She tried to bribe her by pleading that you both could live happily ever after, talk about akumas, probably kiss, prove Alya wrong and no secrets or trust issues. We all know that one will never end.
"Tikki! I can't tell Alya!" Marinette brought up at that moment in time.
"But in your," Tikki paused for dramatic effect, "small, small head of yours, you would know you are right."
Meanwhile, Marinette wanted revenge. She explained Tikki that buttercup stole her precious heart, She wanted needed it back. It was only fair right? Especially when its his heart, she's going to take. She would no longer stutter. As if! She would be all lovely dovey, flirty and suave with that handsome cat of hers. She is suave..
Marinette's 'extraordinary' game was complete mental twister. She would seduce Adrien and Chat noir as both her alter-egos. Ladybug would not be as subtle as Marinette and Marinette would not be as bold as Ladybug. At least from the start..
Marinette would bend down infront of his dumb pretty face. Maybe lean down on the table and let her shirt hang on her back to show something good. Oh god she was dirty! The bluenette didn't know whether to be disgusted by herself or proud. On other part of her mind, she wondered why boy's liked two blobs of fat on the sides of a ribcage? She would say complements and stop stuttering. The stuttering girl would spend more time with him, sit next to him and pair up with him for field trips and projects.
Ladybug would make more flirty comments. Touch his warm shoulder or chest, wherever the hand wanders. Make some puns. Scoot closer to him..place a caring hand on his knee or if she dares, his thigh. 'The death of all hearts in school because everyone has a crush on her' grinned. She had a goal. Make Adrien Émile Gabriel Donatien Athanase Agreste be a total absolute mess!
This game was ridiculous utterly ridiculous! And a plan.
Tikki gave up after an hour and a half of pleading her owner to use her head that god had given her in courtesy. The little invasive luck sometimes felt she was the guardian of Marinette. Tikki felt worn out too. She ate the remaining part of the delicious milk chocolate chip cookie which was sitting in her hand, peacefully melting away. She always stress ate. Plagg? He just eats all the time. The moving apple flew over to the loft bed and gazed up at the twinkling stars as she laid on her back.
Marinette glanced at her computer? Laptop? I still don't know! She saw the time strike 11:11pm. Make a wish. She sighed and got up from her pink chaise which really shows off her pink addiction. She climbed up the ladder and flopped back on the loft bed creating a slight recoil for the springs on the mattress. The girl in the pink pajamas felt the recoil before she was rewarded with a cozy blanket of the already cozy bed. She turned to her side and snatched the cat pillow from beneath her head to place it between her legs. She curled up like a cat and slowly drifted to an endless sleep.
Her pillows were pink too! 👎👎👎
♡☆_____________☆♡
2:15 am.
It was the next day. Tikki looked over at her stubborn owner to make sure she was fast asleep. She needed to tell Plagg! She slowly creeps out of the soft pink pillow reserved for her. Who wouldn't give a pillow to a miniature god?
Tikki phased through the window which led to the balcony. She looked around. Left, right, up, down. North, south, west and east! Thats it! Plaggs little cheese escape was located to the east of the fine confectionerys shop. Following her brain - something her owner did not poses - she flew east. Tikki wondered why she didn't donate her cranium as it wasn't protecting anything anyways. Tikki was in a panick. What do you do when you are a cosmetic being that existed from the beginning of time and is everything that was, is and will be trying with the help of humans to not be captured and exploited by other humans, to do when your human finds the identity of there partner which they can not know for safety reasons, and instead of telling the truth she acts like a psycho? What would you do? You don't know? Well, isn't that ironic? I know someone was judging her!
The red ninja felt the cool Breeze of Paris float across the skin of her nape to her back and till the tips of her heels. She smelled cigarettes and alcohol as well as bodily fluids through the street that maman and papa had warned Marinette not to go to. The glaring lights of the Parisians glowing out of windows of various building. The light, like always followed the rectilinear propagation and follows the shortest path untill it hit another building and created a shadow. This pattern would continue until the mansion and far beyond it.
The soulless gates caught the corner of her eye. A math textbook is more interesting than this whole house. All the lights were out except the ones in the large garden filled with soulless flowers. I never thought i would relate the words 'soulless' and 'flowers' ever. The scent of cigarettes and sweat was long gone and only the scent of an angsty teen remained.
The goddess flew past the black gates and the lush green gardens. The side of the building caught her eye and she flew towards it. The towering silver window, which looked like prison bars was open and air gushed inside. Tikki went with the wind and entered the room of riches.
A sixteen year old boy, cuddled up against his sheets was fast asleep. His golden blond hair was messy and tangled, the kind that would make your knees weak until you fall into his loving arms. He looked like a small child who needed to be protected, yet he was 6 foot of pure skin and bones. Tikki wished he could have a diet that suited his demanding lifestyle. His soft green eyes were closed showing off his long lashes and sharp nose. His breath was even and slow, his chest rose and fell with every warm breath. He needed his beauty sleep and he had a long day ahead filled with extracurriculars, photoshoots and school. A demanding lifestyle. Poor Adrein. Tikki knew if Marinette had seen this she would be on the floor. Unconscious.
Tikki flew over to the cheese demon and tapped his forehead with her small paw. Zero fingers just palm because she doesn't have a single finger. "Five more minutes," Plagg muttered.
"No!" Tikki snapped.
"Adrien..go get ready my style is already impeccable like Old cheese," Plagg's voice sounded like he hadn't eaten for days. He was practically begging for cheese.
"No. Its me! Tikki," Tikki whispered in his feline ears. Plagg's eyes jolted awake and he looked up at her like she was a diamond.
"Hey sugercube! What brings you to my castle?" Plagg flirted.
"Follow me," Tikki flew past the large, sad white couch. Then the..Ladybug shrine? Is he okay? Serious question. She snuck into the bathroom by phasing through the black and golden boring door. She was immediately met with the scent of axe body spray? That stupid phase every boy goes through. I cannot emphasize how boring and plan this house is. Its giving the Kardashians.
"Anything for you," he winked and followed the same depressing path to the bathroom.
"Okay, we have a problem," Tikki spat out.
Plagg looked offended and taken by shock, "I'm not cutting down on cheese," he crossed his paws, "No way sugercube."
Tikki groaned, "That was a billion years ago! Move on Jackass!"
Tikki flew around the lavish bathroom. She sat on the edge of the counter where the ivory sink was placed. From her new stance a coffin shaped eggshell tub caught her eye. A large shape with supports so you dont trip and die. Right next door was an ivory shower with glass panel. The shower looked like it would have atleast a hundred settings and it was big huge massive! All I've said are various shades of white. There are only so many adjectives for white.
Plagg snarled, "then what? Wrap it up! I need my beauty sleep!"
"You want your beauty sleep?" Tikki blinked rapidly her voice ringed with sarcasm. Plagg replied with a quick nod. "Fine have it your way," Tikki started to fly towards the door. She had 5 billion years too many too keep dealing with his constant bullshit.
"Well it cant be that important!" Plagg threw his arms up and phased through the black plain door. His path was set on his cheese scented pillow. He laid down with zero worries. He was going to have a confusing, yet fun couple of weeks or until Adrikins figures her biggest secret. So probably never.
"You'll see Plagg..you will see," Tikki mumbled under her breath before she made her exit from the prison..sorry! Sorry! So called home..
Tikki had a long way home. She was tired, angry and annoyed at Plagg and Marinette. Why couldn't they just listen? They are doomed in life. Will they make it past 40? No. Was Tikki right? Yes. Did they listen? No. Did they know she was right? Yes. Conclusions, they are stupid.
Tikki phased through the window and plopped onto the pillow. She was lucky she could hang out in a bag all day. The creature will be sleeping her ass off.
Sleep came easy to her that night but waking up? Not at all. That was not her worry right now, she just needed to sleep. One breath two breath thre- she's asleep.
The red people's breath synchronised untill it was just white noise radiating from the bed. They slept till morning.
Would Marinette be waking up on time? Or after first period? Maybe even lunch. But definitely not early. Right? Right?