Archive of Our Own ^beta

Javier stares at the train car's wall.

Two people talked rather amicably above him.

Two voices of the same man.

One real, one fake.

The old and the new.

The bastard and the swindler.

Javier doesn't know what to think. He'd suspected something had happened to the young master, after that faithful day when he'd woken up and started building the heated flooring. When he'd seemingly grown a somewhat pleasant personality overnight.

But he thought that he'd covered all the bases, that he'd ensured that that could not be true.

Clearly he'd been incorrect, made some sort of error.

But, now what?

What should Javier do with this information? He had a choice to make.

The proper thing to do, would be to strike down the man responsible for the displacement of the young master Lloyd.

Javier's hand twitched on his sword hilt.

If so, why was he hesitating?

Was it the conversation happening above him, where the real young master began to forgive the man that wore his skin?

Was it all the things that the imposter had done for the fiefdom? The acts of selflessness that he'd shown when the situation had really called for it?

It would be proper to strike him down, yet Javier found himself hesitating, he didn't want to do so. The man clearly had not intended to do whatever he had done, and had only improved the County's status since he'd arrived. Javier was in doubt indebted to the imposter, he'd helped bring the County out of debt, given the Count and Countess their lives back, gained the Queen's favor.

Javier exited the train, before it reached it's destination. He would miss the final declaration of the imposter, too busy making sure the occupants would not notice his descent.

Javier had many things to consider, as he made the rest of the way up to the end of the railroad.

He hasn't removed his hand from the hilt of his sword.

That's strange. He wanted to, he was fairly sure.

But his hand remained there.

He walked silently, thinking his options over.

It was undeniable that the imposter was integral to the growth of the County, but it was more of a question of if he would continue to be so.

Could the County function without him?

Javier doubted it. The man possessed knowledge that no one else could even dream of. He'd come up with innovations that were leagues ahead of those around him, seemingly out of nowhere.

So, striking him down would most likely result in disaster, within the County.

If Javier wanted to ensure the safety of the County, he should let the imposter live.

But he should inform the Count. The decision would be his.

Whatever the man told him to do, Javier would fulfill the command without hesitation.

The imposter is there, alone, when Javier finally arrives at the end of the railroad.

"Javier?" He asks, "What are you doing here?"

Javier doesn't answer, even though he intends to.

His hand is still on his sword. He wants to take it off. Why can't he take it off.

"Javier? you alright buddy?" The imposter— Kim Suho, if the King of Hell was to be trusted— asks again, growing concerned.

He wants to let go, why isn't his body listening to him?

"What did you do with him?" Javier hears himself ask.

"With who?" Kim Suho questions, "Javier, what are you talking about— woah buddy, no need to point that at me."

He'd unsheathed his sword. Why? What was happening? He hadn't wanted to do that, he hadn't wanted to say that.

"What have you done with the young master?" He hears again, in his own, distorted voice.

"I'm right here, Javier— Javier put the sword down." Kim Suho says, voice growing serious. "That's an order."

Run. He wants to say, he wants the imposter, the savoir to run, from him, from whatever is moving his body, his mouth.

"I don't take orders from you, Kim Suho." Javier only hopes his eyes, convey his thoughts as he feels his body moving without him, as he fights for any control.

The imposter stares at him, panic growing quickly.

"I told you that was just a weird nickname." He stammers, "Javier, you know me—"

His sword slashes through the air, blood splatters on the ground, a long cut appearing across the man's chest. He doubles over. Javier, fights himself, trying everything he can to grab control of his body once more

"Fuck!" He grits out, staring at Javier, scrambling away as fast as he can. "Listen, I didn't— I didn't mean to—." He narrowly misses getting hit again, as Javier despairs, his body lunging forward.

He pushes himself as far as he can, fighting whatever force has decided to puppet him.

His body stills, momentarily.

"Run—" Javier spits out, reclaiming his speech for a moment, before his control is once again ripped from him. Pain laces through his whole body.

Kim Suho listens, and stumbles to his feat.

He's too slow. Javier scrambles trying to do something, anything. His body stumbles, and flinches as he pushes against the force. He's Lorasia's greatest knight, he will not be—

More blood splatters on the ground, almost disguised in the red sands of hell.

Javier lets out a half-sob, trying to lose his grip on his sword, anything. He feels his power sap from him at every failed attempt.

The man looks at him, fearful. He frantically looks around for anyone, anything that could help him. He hadn't even brought his shovel with him.

The thing controlling Javier takes advantage of his distraction.

Two men fall to the ground, one wounded, the other fighting his own body, doubled over.

Javier screams, silently, as his hand reaches once more for his weapon.

Kim Suho's hand meets his own.

Javier feels his head move, meeting the man's eyes. He's bloody, slowly coughing up the terrible red liquid.

He's smiling.

"I'm sorry Javier." He says, "For whatever this is."

Javier feels something warm on his face.

Javier's crying.

Maybe he'd had control over his eyes this whole time.

Good. It seems the man in front of him had noticed— if only—

"I'm sorry about Lloyd too." Kim Suho continues, amidst coughs. "I don't know how much you know about that, really. But I'm sorry anyway. Tell the Count and Countess, and Julian."

Javier can't say anything, but he hopes his tears tell a sufficient story.

"Hmm." Kim Suho hums, "Really should have used the titles to see this coming huh."

Javier doesn't know what the man is talking about, but his body still won't move. He wants to yell at him to stop talking to let Javier heal him. He tries to send him mana, but his manahearts stay still, refusing to listen to him.

"I have some plans, in my desk, it's not a lot, but it's something." He continues, voice growing weaker. "Fuck. I really didn't want to go." His eyes soften. "Don't look at me like that Javier, I'm allowed to admit that, I'm about to die."

Javier heaves out a sob. It seems the only thing his body will let him do is cry.

He's crying as he rips his sword away from the other's grip and stabs it down into his chest.

Tears are still flowing as he feels control return back to him, and his limbs fill back with life, as he frantically pushes mana into the wound he'd just made with his own hands.

He pushes as much mana as he can, until a hand grabs his arm.

He looks up at Kim Suho.

He's still smiling.

"Hey— Hey, that's enough of that." He says, like he's scolding Javier for taking too much food "You know it's not going to help."

"I can try." He grits out, about to resume his work, but his arm is pulled once again.

"Hey, I have more to say. Take care of the summons okay? feed and water them." Kim Suho tells him, Javier stares at him, "Fuck, I don't know what will happen to the skeletons but let them do want they want to. Same with the Yong Yong."

He coughs up more blood, closing his eyes.

"No, no— no. You deal with them you idiot, they're yours." Javier begs, grabbing his head, and propping it up. "Lloyd— Kim Suho, please—" He sobs.

"Hmm, I never thought I'd hear you say my name." Kim Suho replies, just barely opening his eyes. "I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, ya' know? My protagonist."

Javier doesn't know what to say.

"I— I wanted that too." He decides, voice cracking.

"That's nice." The dying man beneath him responds, "don't do anything stupid when I'm gone, alright?"

"Please—" Javier starts, as Kim Suho goes slack in his grip, eyes closing again.

He's completely still in Javier's arms.

Javier tries to give him more mana. It just flows back into him, untouched.

Kim Suho's brilliant mana heart has died, all that's left is a lifeless corpse that isn't even his own.

Javier stays there, having moved to embrace him, removing his sword, for who knows how long. Time doesn't work properly in hell.

Before he knows it, the King himself, is walking up to him.

"Did you—" Javier snaps, glancing between the King and Kim Suho. "You knew something, did you make—"

"I played no role in this." The King replies holding up his hand, "As much as I would like to take the credit for it. But, your work here is done, and it seems like you have funeral to arrange."

With a wave of his hand he sends him away. Kim Suho still in hand.

At least he has the courtesy to send him back to the County.

He doesn't let go of him as a patrol finds him, as they shout for more help. He doesn't react when they ask him if he's okay, he keeps his arms around Kim Suho, around the body of Lloyd Frontera.

Someone tries to take him off, he almost reaches for his sword, growling involuntarily. They back away, hands up. Javier looks around daring anyone else to try.

"Javier, whats—" He hears, snapping his head around to see the Count and Countess running toward him.

The Count stops dead in his tracks when he sees what—who Javier is holding.

The Countess moves forward, falling onto her knees beside him.

"No— Lloyd, Lloyd dear. What are you all doing standing there? Some get him help—" She sobs, tears stream down her face.

Javier can only meet her eyes as tears begin to fall from his own once more.

"No— Javier, what? He needs—" She's stopped by a hand on her shoulder, Count Arcos stands above the three of them, face clearly distraut.

"Marbella." He says, voice cracking. "Don't— It's too late."

The Countess looks up at her husband, tears flowing.

"He's our son Arcos— He can't be—" She sobs, she puts her head in her hands and continues to sob. Arcos kneels down, hugging her tight.

"Javier." He says, voice carefully even, "Thank you for bringing him home."

Javier can no longer hold back the tears, he almost doubles over, scrambling back, away from Lloyd's body, away from Kim Suho. He curls into himself, sobs rack through him, as he shakes uncontrollably.

He can't look at his hands, can't bury his face in them because his blood is still wet on them.

"My fault." He mutters in between sobs. "I— I killed him."

"Oh, Javier." The Count says, still holding his wife. "You did your best I'm sure."

Javier can't reply, his quickened breaths stopping any noise from coming out. He starts to feel light headed, knows he needs to calm down, but can't make himself.

His vision soon blacks out.

~

Javier wakes up in his room.

For a beautiful moment Javier wonders if it was all some sort of dream, that he hadn't done what he had, that his hands hadn't taken the life of the County's savior, his friend.

Then he sees his bloody clothes, still on his person. The rest of the blood is gone, although Javier will never forget it.

It wasn't a dream.

Tears threaten to fall again, as Javier stares down at his now shaking hands.

A maid knocks on his door, rushing off when she see's he's awake.

He doesn't have the voice to tell her not to.

The Count and Countess rush in just like he knew they would, both look exhausted, eyes heavy from tears.

"Javier! oh, we were so worried." The Countess says, embracing him tightly. Javier sits stock still, hands still shaking. "Are you alright, physically that is?" She asks, looking him up and down as her husband walks up beside her.

"I—" He croaks out, voice raw.

"Easy there," The Count interrupts, "Don't rush it. You've been out for a day." He explains.

"We can get you water, one minute dear—" The Countess begins, about to turn and do so when Javier objects.

"No!" He bites out, bringing his shaking hands up to his hair, gripping it tightly. "Stop, I— I don't deserve kindness—"

"What do you mean dear? of course you do." Countess Marbella comforts. Her voice is sickeningly sweet, naive.

"No, I don't." Javier tells them, voice hollow. "It was these hands that killed him, my blade, my skill." They deserve to know. To know what kind of snake they let protect their son.

"Javier—" Marbella begins, stopping to take a deep breath. "No, Sir Asrahan, please explain." She says, voice suddenly very serious.

So he does. Everything he knows, baring some of the bloody details that no parent should hear, even if Kim Suho wasn't technically their son.

"So our Lloyd was already gone." The Count mumbles, now sat heavily in a chair by the bedside.

The Countess sobs into her hands, having kept a rather impressive composure throughout the story.

"Yes," Javier rasps. "Although I failed there to, My Lord. Apologies could never be enough."

The Count shakes his head.

"I know you Javier, you would not have done this without something making you. Your apologies are noted but unnecessary. As for Lloyd, if we hadn't noticed ourselves you cannot be blamed." He tells Javier laying a hand on his wife's shoulder. "So, please know that this isn't a punishment— But, you should take some time off Javier."

Javier glances over at his sword, placed on the other side of the room, against the wall. There's still dried blood on it.

"I understand." Javier says, "I still think you should have my head. But I trust your judgement." He concedes.

The Countess stands up suddenly, before quickly embracing Javier once again.

"Oh, my boy." She sobs. "I can't imagine what that was like. I— I don't know what to do with myself Javier." She admits. "Thank you, for making sure we knew."

Javier can only nod, not trusting his voice any longer.

The two leave soon after, leaving Javier alone again.

He changes out of the bloody clothes, storing them away, unable to do anything else with them.

The Count had informed him the funeral would be held in a week, the fastest they could get Julian back for. They wanted to put their son to rest.

Javier didn't know what they would do now they knew about Kim Suho. If no one mentioned him, Javier would remember him, at the very least.

~

The funeral is a solemn affair.

Javier is surprised to see the Queen in attendance. He's less surprised when she pulls him aside afterward.

"I know this is a horrible time to ask this Sir Asrahan—" She begins, "—And I would like to first offer my condolences. But, the Bone Dragon?"

"Docile." He replies, voice still rough from disuse. "Not exactly easily commanded, but not hostile, he should be in the south pole." He adds.

The Queen nods, expression saddened.

"I'm glad, for that at least." She places a hand on Javier's shoulder, "He will be missed, in the capital. I was looking forward to seeing what he could do."

Javier doesn't say anything.

"You're a good warrior, Sir Asrahan, if you couldn't stop it no one could." She offers, well meaning.

The offical story was an attack when the two were returning from combating the Bone Dragon. Although Javier suspects the Queen knows it actually occurred in Hell.

Javier had wanted to tell the truth, but it wasn't his decision.

"Thank you, Your Majesty." He replies instead.

The Queen nods at him and leaves. He notes a strange stiffness in her left arm, as she walks away.

Javier looks down at the sword at his side, he'd cleaned it for this. Cleaned the man's blood of his sword to attend his funeral.

Javier wants to throw up.

He settles for breaking the sword.

He shouldn't be allowed to use it anymore anyway. Not after what he'd done. He was supposed to protect Kim Suho. He had failed. He was no knight.

~

The Count was understanding, once Javier explained. He granted him extended leave to "clear his head."

Perhaps he was just expecting him to come back after.

He never got the chance to find out.

Count Arcos Frontera falls off his horse about two months after Lloyd is buried.

Countess Marbella doesn't make it a month after he's buried.

The County falls into disrepair. Kim Suho had been right, the notes weren't enough, and without the Count or Countess, and a very far away Julian, this take a turn for the worse.

Javier doesn't know what to do. People keep turning to him, but he's the reason they're in this mess.

He tells them so.

Julian is attacked, he can't come back to the County, ever.

Javier stares at the broken remains of his sword —still in his room, as a reminder— he wonders if the jagged edges can still kill him. Almost alone in the manor he called home.

Kim Suho's summons chirp in their strange language up at him. He can't understand them still, but he thinks they're pleading with him. Maybe they want him to stay.

He wished he had the strength to.

[Javier Asrahan no longer fulfills the requirements of a Protagonist]

What?

Javier stares at the strange apparition in front of him. The summons chirp louder, more frantically.

[Do you want to reset?]

[Yes] [No]

Reset? What did that mean? Why was the strange illusion asking him questions? Insulting him further.

Kim Suho had called him his protagonist.

He looks down at the summons, who chirp and nod at him, eyes filled with something like hope.

Javier raises an arm to touch the apparition in front of him.

He'd already lost everything anyway.