Chapter Text
They had filmed about three scenes out of what Robin said should be 73 scenes, and Steve was starting to panic. Not because he didn't want to do this anymore, he was just unsure that he could. he didn't believe that he was doing a very good job. Eddie, Chrissy, and Robin were great. They all flowed naturally with acting. They could improv, and didn't forget their lines as much. Steve, on the other hand, could only stick to the script, and he couldn't remember the lines. He had done it easily on the test shoot. But now he just felt.. out of place; wrong. Which wasn't a new feeling for him.
“Do you think Keith would let us film a few scenes in Family Video?” Robin asked, taking a very weird and wrong bite of the chocolate bar Steve had given her.
“Yeah, if he doesn't know about it.” Steve laughed. “He doesn't like doing anyone favors, just because he likes being a dick. You just gotta do what you want without him knowing.”
“I like that a lot.” Robin nodded, melted chocolate surrounding her lips as she attempted to lick them clean. “I like doing things that Keith would hate.”
“I know you do.”
“I'm feeling… mischievous.” She grinned, adjusting her electric blanket that Steve bought her for cramps. He liked asking his parents for money, because they never asked what it was for, and gave it to him without fail. Robin liked to call it ‘taking advantage of the rich’. He had even bought her some of her film equipment. She had refused at first when he tried to buy her stuff, but she finally accepted when he explained that his parents would flip if they knew what kind of stuff he bought and what he was doing, and because she's his parents number one hater, she liked that they could make a gay movie with rich, white, homophobic people's money.
“You always feel ‘mischievous’ when you're on your period.” He told her.
“You always feel mischievous when I'm on my period.” She shot back.
“Like sympathy mischievous-ness?”
“Mischief, Steven. And yes.”
“Oh, right.” He nodded. “I'm hungry, do you wanna order a pizza and watch a movie?”
“If that means I don't have to get up from your couch, then yes. I would love that.”
“Okay, lemme grab the ones I have, and you can pick one while I order the pizza. The usual?”
“Duh! Why would we get anything different?” She exclaimed, biting her chocolate bar aggressively. After Starcourt had ‘burned down’, Robin had come over that night, and Steve realized he didn't have a first aid kit in his house. When Robin started to come over more often, and she and Steve got closer, Steve had decided to keep emergency supplies in his house. Several first aid kits, Robin's favorite snacks, books, movies, period supplies in both bathrooms, (which had never been there before, because his mom was never home), and he made one of the guest rooms become Robin's room for if she ever needed to get away from her very pushy and snoopy mom, or just wanted to stay over. Which she did pretty often. He also kept tapes of her favorite albums in both the glove box of his car, (where emergency period supplies and a first aid kit were also), and in his house.
Basically, he had tried to make his parents house a home. But he realized what made it a home wasn't the stuff he and Robin had put everywhere, it was Robin. Robin was his home. His sister. His platonic soulmate. Without her, he could not be. She was the light to his darkness. And as he had read in a book Robin let him borrow; darkness without light is an abyss, and light without darkness is blinding. Moon and Sun, Fire and Water, they needed each other like two cats who couldn't be adopted separately or they would not shut up.
“Okay,” He smiled at her softly. She meant more to him than she would ever know. “It was my turn to pick a movie, but you get to pick while on your period.”
“Well, that's only fair.” She grinned. “My uterus is declaring war because I'll never be pregnant since I'm lesbian.” She sighed dramatically, biting the chocolate bar again. “Also, do you still have that caramel from Italy that your fuck-face mom sent you from their trip? Y'know, when she thought that if she sent a small gift you wouldn't feel left out?”
“Yeah, there's still enough left to put on popcorn if that's what you're getting at.” He said, raising an eyebrow.
“That's exactly what I'm getting at, smartie pants!” She threw her arms out in excitement. “Also, bring me whatever pain meds you have, or I'm gonna get cranky fast.”
“Okay, will do.” He grabbed the stack of movies he'd stolen from Keith over time, and brought Robin some Ibuprofen, as well as a glass of apple juice. ‘A queen on her time of month shouldn't have to drink something so gross like water’ Robin's voice rang in his head.
He sauntered back into the kitchen, and picked the phone up and dialed the number to the local pizzeria Argyle worked at. He always got a ‘demogorgon fighter’ discount from Argyle, which Steve thought was funny.
“Whadup, brotato chip, what can I get for ya?” Steve heard Argyle's voice say.
“Hey, Argyle, it's Steve.”
“Oh, Hey, Steven boy!” Steve didn't know why Argyle called him that. “The usual?”
“Uh, yeah, thanks. Maybe add a side of bread sticks, though.”
“Righteous, I'll have that over in about twenty’.”
“Cool, thanks, dude.” He hung up the phone, and sat back down next to Robin on the couch. She seemed to have finished her chocolate, and the Ibuprofen was gone. She chugged the rest of the apple juice, before turning to him.
“Hi.” She greeted, giving him a thin lipped, happy smile. “Did you order the pizza?”
“Yup, as well as some bread sticks.”
“Oh, you know me so well.” She hummed.
“They aren't just for you! I love bread sticks.” Which he had found out about himself when Robin convinced him he needed to eat more carbs. And eat more in general.
“Okay, fair...” She said, “We split ‘em evenly.” He nodded in response, and they started the movie while they waited for the pizza. Robin had picked ‘The Labyrinth’ again. That movie always made Steve feel weird, and he didn't know why. He felt sort of.. uncomfortable? When he saw David Bowie with the pants that were way too tight for comfort. It made his stomach twist, and his whole body feel warm. He didn't know why. He didn't dislike David Bowie, he was a good actor and musician. But every time he saw him on screen, he couldn't help but grip the sofa.
Eventually Argyle arrived with their pizza, and again, charged him less. Steve tipped him twenty bucks, as he always did. He and Robin ate on the sofa, and Robin quoted almost every line in the movie. Steve had gotten kind of used to that, because Eddie did the same thing. They both insisted on making the same commentary every time they watched a movie.
Robin ended up falling asleep before the movie ended, and Steve sat there, watching David Bowie run around in those pants and sing. He had to pull the blanket off of him, feeling too hot to sit under it now. He felt his palms getting sweaty, and his heart was pounding. He felt embarrassed, like a kid worried their parents might catch them watching a ratedR movie. He couldn't explain it. The feeling was on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't name it. Could he be feeling….? Attra-
The phone rang, and he jumped. Robin didn't move, just slept peacefully. He got up, and sighed before answering the phone. His heart rate, that had calmed down finally, began to race again when he heard Eddie's voice on the other end.
“Hello?”
“Hi, uh, Eddie! I wasn't expecting a call from you!” He blurted out. He felt like a nervous teenager again. Why were his hands so sweaty? And why was his voice cracking like he was going through puberty all over again?
“Uh, sorry.. Do I need to set up an appointment to call a friend?” He joked.
“No, no..” Steve laughed, leaning his forehead against the wall. “I just- We've never really called before. But.. I'm glad you did.”
“Yeah?” Eddie's voice sounded sort of low and rough, like he had just woken up from a nap. Steve wondered what kind of sleeping schedule Eddie had.
“Yeah, I've missed talking to you.”
“We've been filming a movie together for the past few weeks.” Eddie snorted. “We see each other almost every day.”
“Yeah, I know.. But we don't really get to talk when Robin's breathing down our necks about the script.”
I kind of want Eddie to breathe on my neck.
Where the fuck did that thought come from?! Talk about intrusive thoughts, that was weird as hell.
“True, we almost always get interrupted. Speaking of which.. I'm not interrupting anything, right?”
“No, no, no! I mean, Robin and I were watching a movie, but she fell asleep. The movie’s probably almost over, anyway.” He looked over his shoulder at the living room, where Robin lay sound asleep.
“Oh, good. What were you watching that put her to sleep so easily?”
“Weirdly, she fell asleep to one of her favorites. The Labyrinth.”
“Oh, she loves that one! How the fuck did she fall asleep to it?” Eddie laughed, and it sent this feeling through his stomach. Like something fluttering in his belly. Did he get butterflies?..
“Seen it too many times, for sure. I've seen it too many times. It's sort of a weird movie, too.”
“Yeah, it is sort of wild.” Eddie agreed.
“And David Bowie needed a bigger pair of pants. It always makes me feel weird when he comes on screen..”
“....What do you mean?”
“Like, it's just embarrassing to watch him run all around in such tight pants, you know? Makes me feel all… I can't think of a word for it, but my stomach twists and the room feels like it's a hundred degrees. Does that make sense?”
“Hm.” Eddie hummed.
“What?” Steve wondered what Eddie was thinking.
“Nothing, uh, so was Robin quoting every line like usual?”
“Like always.” He laughed quietly, turning his body so that he was leaning his back against the wall. He twisted his finger in the curly phone cord like a lovesick teenager, a big goofy grin on his face. Talking to Eddie made him feel all giddy.
“Naturally, but I can't really judge, I sort of do the same thing.”
“It's not annoying though. I love when you do that. I.. I like your voice.” He admitted, running a shaky hand through his hair.
“Really?!” Eddie exclaimed.
“Yeah, it makes me want to hear you sing..”
“Well, I have a show in a few nights with Corroded Coffin.. If you wanna come watch..”
“I'd love that..” He couldn't help the big grin that spread across his lips. He'd wanted to see Eddie perform ever since Dustin told him about his concert in the Upside-Down.
“Well, lucky you, I'm not even gonna charge you for a ticket.”
“What about Robin's ticket? Because as soon as she hears I'm going she'll insist on going too.” Steve said half jokingly, pleased to hear the small laugh that Eddie let out.
“Won't charge you for that one either.”
“Good.” There was a moment of silence, before Eddie spoke again.
“Shit!”
“Huh?”
“Sorry. I dropped my pencil.”
“Pencil? Are you taking notes of our conversation, or something?” He giggled. And he hated that he did. Why was he giggling like that?! He was just talking to his.. Friend.
“Haha! No! I'm drawing a character for a campaign Mike's having me help him with for Will's birthday.”
“Isn't Will's birthday in March?!” He questioned.
“Yeah, Mike wants to make sure it's perfect, so he's having me start now. The kid has to be in love with him. I swear, the way he talks about him.”
“Will's no better.” Steve agreed with a chuckle. “He's always talking about him to me and Robin. Even though he hasn't admitted his feelings for Mike, I can tell. And I have a horrible gaydar.”
“That is true! You didn't know I was gay until I told you explicitly.” Now that Eddie had mentioned it, Steve could vaguely hear a pencil scratching against paper over the phone.
“Yeah, now I can see it in the way you walk." He teased.
“Oh, shut up, Harrington! If you were here right now I'd throw my pencil at you.”
“Mm, well, at least that would hurt more than if you punched me.” He smiled at Eddie's reaction.
“Rude! I'm gonna hang up on you!” Eddie giggled.
“Actually- wait, lemme hang up real quick, and I'll call you back from my room.”
“M'kay, I'll be waiting.” Something about that gave Steve butterflies. Eddie was waiting. Waiting for him. He hung up the phone before he said something embarrassing, stumbling upstairs eagerly. He jumped onto his bed, lying on his belly and dialing Eddie's number. He kicked his feet as he waited for Eddie to answer, which was almost instantly.
“Who's this?” Eddie joked.
“The man of your dreams.” Steve tried to play along, but he felt something more deep behind his words. He heard what sounded like Eddie choking on the other end of the phone.
“Jesus- I was taking a sip of coffee as you said that-” He chuckled, still sort of coughing. Steve cackled, and realized he hadn't laughed so much in a long time. He had really missed this. Missed the one-on-one conversations he used to have with Eddie. Eddie never failed to make him smile or laugh. He felt like he was in love-
But he wasn't. Because he was totally and utterly straight.
But that didn't mean he didn't wanna see Eddie.
“So.. your uncle is at work right?” He asked softly, hiding his face in his pillow, despite the fact that no one could see him.
“Uh, yeah. You wanna come over or somethin’?”
“Uh.. Maybe.”
“I'm fine with that.” He could hear Eddie's smile through the phone.
“So what if I told you I'll be there in ‘ten?”
“Then I'd say hurry up, I'm bored.”
“See you in a minute then, cutie.” Where the fuck did that come from?! That was so embarrassing, he had to hang up right after it left his mouth. Hopefully by the time he got to Eddie's house he would have forgotten it already.
He decided it was late anyway, so he should just stay in his pj's. He messed with his hair a bit in the mirror, and left a note next to Robin explaining where he was, that is, if she woke up before he got back.
He listened to ‘I Melt with You’ by Modern English on the way to Eddie's place. As he listened to the lyrics he couldn't help but think of Eddie, which was sort of weird, considering it was a song about having sex with someone you love while the world ends. Seemed sort of accurate to his life, except for the fact he was as single as one dollar bill in a poor person's wallet.
He finally arrived at Eddie and Wayne's new home that the government funded. He got out and ran up the driveway, before knocking on the door gently. Eddie almost immediately opened it, and pulled him inside.
“Hi.” He greeted, his hand still on Steve's.
“Hi..”
“Gonna call me ‘cutie’ again?”
“Oh my god! I dunno why I said that!” He hid his face in his free hand, face going red. “It just came out!”
“I've never snorted so hard in my life, by the way.” Eddie told him with a grin.
“Whatever.” He rolled his eyes fondly.
“So, what do you wanna do?”
Get inside of those loose pajama pants of yours and see how long you can go, pretty boy.
Again, where were these insane intrusive thoughts coming from?
I'll be a good boy.
He needed to speak before the thoughts kept going.
“Uh, I don't mind as long as I'm hanging out with you.” He smiled, and he swore he saw Eddie blush and look away.
“Okay, uh.. What if I do your makeup?”
“If you have the stuff for it, yeah sure.”
“Cool, lemme grab my stuff real quick.” Eddie ran out of the room, and Steve stood there waiting. Eddie was about to be touching his face nonstop, gently and carefully. He was gonna put makeup on Steve. He wears lipgloss sometimes, but nothing more. He wondered how much makeup Eddie actually had.
Eddie came running back in the room with a small bag and a huge grin on his face. He quickly but gently took Steve's hand and led him to the couch.
“Wait, I dunno if I have enough room here, let's go to my room.” Eddie said quickly, and swept Steve up from the couch by his waist and dragged him to his room by his bicep. Steve noticed that as Eddie's hand was wrapped around his upper arm, his thumb lightly brushed his muscles. He didn't say anything, not wanting to embarrass the man, but he was secretly flattered. “Okay, this is better.” Eddie mumbled, sitting Steve on his bed next to him. Steve felt sort of awkward, like the kind of awkward he felt when a girl invited him into her room. He didn't really trust many people to be in his room anymore. It was a spot for him, where he could just be himself. Robin was one of the only people he really trusted to go around in his room looking at stuff. She even read his journals with bad spelling all over them. He assumed Eddie probably had his own private journals or drawings he wouldn't want Steve to see. But why did he care? Why did he want to know Eddie's secrets so badly? He wanted to know every part of Eddie, soul and body. But that sounded gayer than it was, surely.
“So.. what kind of look are you planning on doing?” He asked Eddie, leaning back on the bed.
“Uh, I think sort of a goth look, since that's what Robin's been having you wear for the movie.” He replied, looking through eyeshadow pallets. “Unless..” He looked up at Steve through his eyelashes, and this warm fuzzy feeling spread through his chest. His stomach did backflips. “You want me to do something else?”
“I don't care, as long as you make me look hot.” He said with a smirk, trying to ignore the feelings he shouldn't be feeling for a boy.
“That won't be hard.” He murmured under his breath, and before Steve could question it, he cleared his throat loudly. “So, for this to work, you sort of have to close your eyes.”
“Oh, right.” He leaned forward a bit too eagerly, and closed his eyes so that Eddie could put on the eyeshadow. He flinched a bit when he first felt the brush against his eyelids, earning a snicker from Eddie. But as he sat there, he began to feel more comfortable. At some point Eddie gently put his hand on Steve's chin, softly holding his face in place. It felt oddly intimate for something between him and a man considering he was straight.
Calling himself straight felt wrong as soon as Eddie blew on his face to get rid of the excess eyeshadow dust sitting on his eyelashes.
“Sorry- There was a lot of dust on your face from the eyeshadow..” Eddie apologized, not moving his hand from Steve's chin.
“No. It's okay, I just didn't expect it.” He opened his eyes for a brief second when Eddie pulled his hand away, and saw Eddie trying to get a different eyeshadow pallet open, his tongue sticking out in concentration. Pretty…
“Close your eyes again, for me?”
Anything for you, gorgeous.
He obeyed, closing his eyes, this time not flinching when he felt the brush on his eye. A few more minutes went by, of Eddie putting different eyeshadow colors on his eyelids. Steve had his hands in his lap, unsure of where to put them.
I should put them in his hair, feel those soft curls for a minute.
You're not allowed to think that way. You like women, those thoughts are for the real queer people. Pick a fucking side, stop stealing other people's culture when you aren't gay. He's too perfect for you anyway, he's not for you.
“You have really pretty eyelashes..” Eddie told him softly, sending butterflies flying through his stomach.
“Really?”
“Yeah.. Sorry, is that weird for me to say? Please tell me if I'm making you uncomfortable.” Steve hated that Eddie thought he might make him uncomfortable for being close because he's gay. Eddie only made him feel safe. Seen.
“No! Never. I promise you will never make me feel uncomfortable.” Except that same weird feeling he got when he saw David Bowie..
“Okay.. Uh, I sort of have to ask you to lay down so I can do your eyeliner now..”
“Oh, uh, alright..” He shifted so that his legs were out in front of him, and laid down on Eddie's pillow. And he couldn't help but wish there was a different reason he was laying on Eddie’s pillow.
Eddie got on top of him with what looked like a regular pencil, except for the fact that it was black, and not gray. But he couldn't pay attention to the pencil. He was only hyperaware of his and Eddie's bodies flush against each other. Eddie had one leg between his, and his face was kissing distance. Once again, his tongue was sticking out in concentration, and Steve couldn't help but think about Eddie putting his tongue in his mouth.
He hoped Eddie couldn't hear his heart rate, because images of him closing the distance and kissing Eddie kept taking over his mind. He was sure his face was so red.
“I'm not hurting you, right?” Eddie asked with concern.
“No, no! Not at all. This is… Sort of relaxing.” He could've sworn Eddie's eyes were on his lips as he spoke, but that could've been another accidental imagination.
“Okay, well it's time for lips.”
“Lips?!” He exclaimed.
“Lipgloss, you know, the stuff you wear almost every day?”
“Right, sorry. Just confused.”
“M'kay..” He sat up for a moment, practically sitting on Steve's lap. He picked up a lipgloss that looked black, and laid back down on top of Steve. He opened the lipgloss up, and lightly spread it across Steve's lips. Eddie was staring at his lips, but Steve was staring into his dark doe eyes, questioning everything he ever said about himself.
“And… Done. You wanna see it?”
“Absolutely! Do you have a mirror, or should I go to the bathroom?” Eddie crawled off of his lap, and Steve sat up. Eddie picked up a small mirror, and handed it to him with a grin. When Steve looked in the mirror, all he saw was himself. He saw him, the person he'd been pushing down all his life, and covering up with the mask of ‘King Steve’. Eddie had done a good job, a blend of blue and purple eyeshadow, some black eyeliner with a small wing, and the black lipgloss wasn't too pigmented, so his lips just looked a darker shade of pink. He felt pretty, even if this wasn't his usual style. He thought maybe he would like to wear a bit of makeup more often, around the right people, of course. But.. Be more himself. “Eddie.. I.. It's so good. I don't even know how to explain to you how much I love it. I feel.. like me. Just, maybe a more goth version of me.” He laughed, his eyes watering slightly. He would've let himself cry in front of Eddie, if it weren't for the fact he didn't want to ruin the makeup, so he pushed away the tears and looked up to see Eddie looking at him with a wide smile.
“You really like it?” He asked, a pretty toothy grin plastered on his face.
“Eddie.. You did a great job. Better than the Makeup Nancy's been doing on me for the movie, but that could be partly because she doesn't know how to do goth makeup. But still.”
“Thanks!” His smile only grew wider, and the butterflies in Steve's stomach only multiplied. “Shit- it's late!” Steve turned his head to look at the alarm clock that read 3:27am.
“Oh, fuck-”
“It's so late, you should probably stay here and just drive back in the morning...”
“Uh, yeah, you're right. Should I sleep on the couch?”
“No! I mean, uh.. You could sleep in my room with me.. I don't wanna make a good friend sleep on the sofa.” Eddie said quietly, as if he was embarrassed to say it. His cheeks were quite pink, as well.
“I mean.. If you're okay with it, I don't mind.”
“Not at all. I'm completely fine with it if you are.”
“Okay.. Cool.” Eddie nodded in response, and put the makeup away. After that, he gave Steve a spare toothbrush and a cup of water next to the bed along with some ibuprofen, aware of the midnight headaches and nightmares that Steve got. They laid down under the covers together on either side of the bed, scared to get too close.