Chapter Text
Shenhe was enjoying herself so far. It was a fairly big event, but the mood was great and fairly relaxed. Yun Jin had performed another opera earlier, one that Shenhe hadn't heard before, and there were a few other performances, too, all of which she made sure to follow closely. She wouldn't get an opportunity like this very often, to be surrounded by so many aspects of different human cultures.
Liyue opera, various instrumental numbers, Mondstadt's church hymns dedicated to Barbatos. There was a bit of everything. Even a magic show had been announced for later today, which she already looked forward to.
Shenhe knew quite well how important restraint was for her, for her well-being and for the safety of those around her. The red ropes were as much a tool as a reminder of that fact. But she'd talked about this with Cloud Retainer, and they'd both agreed that, tonight, it should be alright.
The Traveler was there, who by now was quite known for having a presence that could soothe the mind, not just in relation to abyssal contamination. And a bunch of Adepti were there as well, Cloud Retainer, Ganyu – even the Conqueror of Demons was hiding somewhere. Even if she went berserk after being overcome with the emotions the ropes were meant to suppress, someone would be able to reign her in again.
So, yes, tonight she would take in all those sights, and she'd try not to worry about holding herself back.
It was going well so far. She had everything under control, with most of her emotions being happiness and curiosity for what would come next. She was neither hungry nor thirsty, the buffet actually offering options even she could eat. Although she wasn't quite sure if maybe they'd been meant to be decoration instead.
In any case, no trace of anger or sadness, nothing that could bring up the more volatile side of her.
She stood against a wall waiting for the next performer to take the stage. The room wasn't exactly packed, but there were quite a few people around, waiting together with her. And then the performer entered, a woman with long, red hair and a head accessory resembling horns. At first glance, it almost looked like her goal was to resemble an Adeptus. But no, the music that started playing was clearly from Sumeru.
It was a dance. Her movements were like water, like branches of a willow in the wind, graceful and so natural-looking as though it was completely normal for a human to move like this. It fit perfectly with the music as well, and Shenhe found herself gently swaying back and forth, matching the rhythm.
How long had it taken, she wondered, to practice that dance? She knew Yun Jin practiced a lot for her performances, so it should be the same for the dancer as well.
And it really was a nice one. The woman moved across the stage like it was her own home, familiar and comfortable, taking up space just as she drew everyone's attention towards her performance.
The dance seemed to end way too quickly in her opinion. The dancer (Nilou she was called, according to a conversation Shenhe had overheard earlier) left the stage with steps that were as graceful as they had been during her dance, only that now she was definitely breathing a little heavier than before.
Shenhe, on a whim, grabbed one of the water pitchers and a cup from off to the side, where various refreshments had been placed. With both of these in hand, she walked over to the dancer.
"May I offer you something to drink?" she asked, slightly holding up the pitcher.
"Oh!" Nilou blinked once in surprise, and then an easy smile graced her lips, "sure! Thank you,-...?"
"Shenhe."
She left it at her name, for now simply pouring the other something to drink, handing her the cup. It was a little like her job at Wanmin Restaurant, she figured, only without the involvement of mora. Or chairs.
"Well then", Nilou lightly tipped up her cup to hint at a toast, "Thanks, Shenhe."
She emptied the cup quickly, smiling and nodding at Shenhe's immediate offer of having it refilled.
"Did you enjoy the dance?" she asked after emptying her cup two more times, "I saw you in the audience, I believe."
"I was there, yes. It was quite impressive. I've never seen a human display such graceful and fluid movements before."
"Oh?" A chuckle. "Well, that sounds like high praise. I'm glad to hear it."
"It is high praise", Shenhe agreed with a nod, "I've seen this type of control over one's body in some Adepti of Liyue, but never before in another human."
Nilou shook her head, giving her a cheerful laugh, "I think now you're exaggerating a little. I don't think you can compare me to one of the Adepti. I'm simply someone who likes to dance."
Somehow she didn't quite believe that, "you must be talented, though, right? I've never danced before, it's hard for me to tell."
Another laugh, soft and warm, "well, maybe I have some talent, too." She shook her head, a curious look now on her face, "you've never danced before, Shenhe?"
"No", she shook her head. She'd never seen the point of it, in all honesty. It was never part of her training, and her new job didn't require those skills either.
"Well" Nilou smiled at her, reaching out to take the pitcher from Shenhe. She walked past her then, placing the half-full pitcher back with the others and her cup in a box with other dirty dishes. Afterwards, she turned back to Shenhe, who had followed her after assuming that Nilou walking away didn't signal the end of their conversation. "Then, would you like to try?"
"Try... dancing?"
"Mhm. Even if it's not for show, it can still be a good way of releasing your emotions, or a way of focusing more on your body in ways fighting or physical exercise might not."
Shenhe thought about it for a moment. It didn't sound bad in and of itself, but that part about her emotions made her hesitate. Sure, her bloodlust probably wouldn't be agitated by a little dancing, but with the ropes suppressing both it and her other emotions, she wasn't quite sure if letting out the latter wouldn't affect the former as well.
"We'll go find ourselves some other spot", Nilou assured her, probably assuming that her hesitation came from shyness or the likes, "I've heard that one of the rooms is equipped for weapons training, surely that one shouldn't be too crowded during a party."
"I-", Shenhe started, paused, then gave a small nod, "We can go there first. And once we're there, maybe I'll know if I want to try or not."
"Okay!" Nilou beamed, nodding, "Sounds good!"
Shenhe quickly realized that Nilou wasn't just friendly and kind, but quite... physically affectionate? as well. They'd only just met, and yet she already reached for Shenhe's hand as she lead the way.
She'd again hesitated at first, unsure of how close she would want this stranger to be to her, but ultimately she'd just let the other woman do her thing, had let herself be gently tugged along by the gentle grip of the other's hand around hers.
Walking next to her, Shenhe slowly came to accept the fact that Nilou probably had enough optimism and cheerfulness for the both of them. It was probably the reason why it had been a little easier to go along with that idea of dancing. The way she felt right now was about the same feeling as when the sunlight warmed her skin during the colder months of the year, making it easier to ignore the cold ice and snow all around her.
They squeezed through the crowded main room, Nilou pulling her along into a different room. It was wonderfully empty and silent, the room mostly empty except for all the different weapons and training equipment.
And then Nilou stood in the middle of the room, both her hands stretched out towards Shenhe, "take my hands. We don't have music here, but that's alright."
She took them. A little hesitantly, but perhaps it was being dragged by her hand earlier that made it easier now to go back to that bit of physical contact.
"And now?" Shenhe didn't know any steps or movements, could only try to copy what she'd seen Nilou do before.
"Close your eyes", Nilou said, her voice quieter now that there was nobody else around who made noise she'd have to talk over, "let me guide you first."
With her eyes closed, Shenhe could focus more closely on the feeling of Nilou's hands where they held hers, slowly guiding her into swaying left and right and left and right. It felt... strange. Not bad, but strange.
Shenhe knew the physical exertion of training and fighting, and she knew the motionless calm of meditation. But this was a strange in-between. Still, she tried to go along even when Nilou guided her into taking a step to the left, then another one back to the right.
After a while, Shenhe started to feel a little lost at the lack of feedback, blinking open one eye, "am I doing it correctly?"
“There’s no right or wrong in this case”, Nilou responded with a chuckle, voice a mere whisper, “just relax and… move. There’s no choreography. No audience. Just me. And I won’t judge you.”
Just relax and move. Easy for her to say. She knew what she was doing, Shenhe did not. She could follow Nilou’s guidance, sure, but as soon as she let go, what then? She felt her movements falter as her thoughts made her lose her focus, something that almost never happened when she fought.
“Hey, it’s alright”, Nilou stopped moving as well, but didn’t let go of her hands, “you’re thinking too much, Shenhe. What are you so worried about?”
“I want to do this correctly, but I don’t know how to. You’re guiding me, that’s why it was working just now.”
Shenhe opened her eyes to find Nilou standing there with a confusing mix of emotions dancing in her eyes. There was that softness, still, but also a hint of worry, or sadness of some kind.
Finally, Nilou nodded, smiling at her again, “then I will continue leading you until you find out what works for you and what doesn’t.”
Was it that easy? She doubted it, but she didn’t mind when Nilou got moving again, a step to the left, then she took one backwards, dragging Shenhe forwards with her. Slowly she got back into the rhythm, already a little more used to the set of movements than she had been at the beginning.
She must have looked quite confused and doubtful still, because Nilou started chuckling at some point, gradually increasing the distance she was leading Shenhe away from the spot where they’d started out, until it almost felt like the room wasn’t big enough anymore.
She didn’t know when she’d started smiling. Couldn’t tell just when her shoulders had lost a bit of their usual tension, her gaze a little bit of its hardness. She only realized when Nilou commented on it, her voice sweetly cheerful when she said: “See? That’s what I meant!”
And Shenhe found herself nodding along, not quite laughing, but something close to it, a shaking of her chest that had nothing to do with exertion-heavy breath or pained sobs. It was… nice. Emotions or not, ropes or not, bloodlust or not, she could enjoy this.