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Eddie’s life has been quieter - a bit too quiet for his own liking.
Even though it’s been a while since everything happened, Eddie still can’t shake off some feelings.
Nothing’s easy for probably anybody in the group, still he found himself launched into something bigger than himself too fast and too harshly.
He didn’t register everything immediately.
The abrupt cold when entering the portal. The dark, gloomy air filling up his lungs.
The fast and deafening chords he still doesn’t know how he got out of his fingers.
The fact he wasn’t on earth anymore - the fact he still cannot wrap his head around what really happened.
Every emotion he felt, every sound he heard, step he took or word he said only echoed into his mind months later.
Slowly, everything started becoming heavier. Everything started becoming a possible threat, a possible repetition of that time.
So, flinching made itself less of a stranger than before to him. Looking around to check - not even knowing what he was checking - was natural and done mindlessly all of a sudden.
His slow approach at life, syrupy words that built his charm and brick-like comebacks to whoever may have something to say about him started to fade away, making him doubt how he even managed all that before.
The worst, though, were words.
The easiest of all things, or at least so he thought, was suddenly unmanageable.
Full strings of sentences weren’t coming to him naturally like they could before, and even when they did getting them out his throat seemed impossible.
For someone who may have been - or looked - as confident as he did before, this wasn’t the best.
He considered getting out of town to look for a doctor or someone of the sort who would be able to help him (definitely not out of embarrassment, though).
As expensive and lonely as that seemed, he landed on staying where he was: home.
Maybe a bit more often than before.
***
In some way or another, he found himself most with Steve.
He found out that he wasn’t the only one hiding, or at least trying to, how much everything really affected him; and he also wasn’t the only one still scared.
Steve understood him.
Mainly, they shared the broken and cracked shield they both wore in front of everyone, which covered up their flimsy fears.
Also, the fact that Steve didn’t mind how Eddie wasn’t that much of a talker anymore didn’t hurt.
He was more often than not too caught up in his own words to even notice that most of the ones they shared were said by him. Eddie loved this.
His mind was at its quietest when with Steve, his relentless monologue acting as a lullaby.
*
“Y’know, out of every job I ever had, this was the best one. The free ice cream really compensated for the hideous uniforms” Steve pointed out, holding two ice cream cups in his hands, handing one to Eddie, who was snickering.
They were now walking out of Scoops Ahoy, walking to Steve’s car to enjoy their snacks, where they spent most of their time.
“You may laugh at me but you weren’t the one getting a salary and free ice cream.”
Eddie gave him a gotta hand it to you expression.
They arrived at the car, Eddie following Steve to the driver’s door to hold his cup for him while he got out his keys.
“Still, I do wish you could have had the chance of taking those horrible shorts off of me.” He whispered, taking advantage of the fact that Eddie now had no hands free, pressing their bodies together to the car door.
Eddie chased Steve’s lips and kissed him in response, his stomach doing flips - forgetting where they even were.
“Risky, baby, risky” he whispered while freeing one of his boyfriend’s hands.
Eddie pouted. As right as he was, Steve was always the one who was really aware of their surroundings most times. Eddie was never taught to really care about other people.
“Gotta wait. Makes it worth it” he reassured him, pointing at the passengers side with his head as a way to tell Eddie to get in the car.
He wanted to say how everything’s always worth it with him. He felt his lips shut tighter than they could at just the thought of speaking, as if a needle and thread were making their way through his skin.
He silently got in the car.
“Come on, go nuts.” Steve smiled, taking Eddie’s hand and interlocking their fingers.
Eddie sat his cup next to Steve’s, knowing they will be long forgotten.
He placed both their hands on the gearshift, as he usually did as a way to be close even while driving.
Eddie didn’t make Steve repeat himself as he leaned closer into his space, covering his neck with kisses.
Steve hummed, trying to focus on the road instead of his boyfriend’s teeth which were now making their way under his skin.
Eddie chased every sound he earned from the boy under him, trying to deepen every sensation he was making him feel.
Steve left the gearstick to bring their hands both on Eddie’s hair, caressing him into the crook of his neck.
“D’you want to-” he sighed heavily, still trying to focus on the road instead of the growing bulge under his jeans. “...Park? So I can focus on you?”
Eddie suddenly glanced at the road, recognising the abandoned mall’s parking lot they were headed to. Familiar as it was to him, it wasn’t easy on his mind.
Eddie liked fooling around with Steve, don’t get him wrong, but his role as a bottom wasn’t the best anymore.
Every sound that escaped his lips felt like a betrayal from his own body.
The problem wasn’t his voice, but the thought of Steve noticing and expecting him to speak up more.
Because if you can sigh, whine or moan someone’s name in bed, why can’t you string two senteces together when someone asks you a question?
Eddie didn’t know. He wished he did.
“Hmm? Baby?” Steve’s voice echoed through his ears.
Eddie nodded against his neck, trying to swallow his thoughts.
Quickly enough they were surrounded by leaves and torn branches, having parked basically inside a bush so that the car wasn’t too noticeable.
Steve reclined his seat, letting Eddie crawl on top of him.
Their lips met quickly, having no time for chaste kisses but only for bitten lips and wet encounters.
Steve put his hands around Eddie’s neck, caressing the points he was about to get to with his thumbs.
Eddie’s mind raced with what-ifs, unable to shut them up.
Steve didn’t waste time trailing his lips from the other’s mouth to his jaw, holding the skin between his teeth, grinding them.
His mouth left marks behind while heading for his neck and collarbones.
While Steve turned his kisses into bites, Eddie still couldn’t focus.
Should he just ignore everything, and face his problems only if someone said something?
Should he say something, now or never? Even if so, how?
He wasn’t unaware of the notebook hiding in the glovebox just near him - Steve’s old math book, which was obviously left blank and was then filled by their occasional written conversations.
Eddie liked to think of them as conversations, but really he just scribbled down short sentences when a nod or a point to something wasn’t enough of an answer.
“Got something on your mind?” Steve came up from where he was buried before, having noticed Eddie wasn’t entirely there with him.
Eddie nodded before his mind could tell him else.
“What is it, sweets?” Steve whispered, kissing his cheek.
He liked when Steve showed his soft side. It wasn’t often, but today seemed like an exception.
At the question, his mind started filling up with possible answers and explanations and everything he wanted to say but couldn’t.
He sighed, both from desperation and to calm his racing thoughts.
“Not a great day today? Wanna just go home?” Steve tried.
Eddie frantically shook his head. Not even his anxieties could stop him from getting laid.
Steve smiled, kneading Eddie’s love handles for comfort. Eddie melted into the touch, letting his head fall into his boyfriend’s collarbones.
“‘S hard.” He mumbled. He was so going to regret this.
Steve was gonna think he was just lazy for not speaking when he probably could, or a just a freak like everybody else always -
“What’s hard, baby?” Steve furrowed his eyebrows.
This wasn’t the first time Steve heard his voice after everything, still he expected a somewhat angrier reaction.
Eddie groaned into Steve’s skin.
“Aren’t you mad?” he fought out his throat after a pause.
Steve had a confused look on his face. “For what?”
Eddie shrugged, turning to make eye contact. Wasn’t it obvious?
“I’m not, sweets. No idea why I would be at all and even more at you, but I’m not.”
Eddie grew even more confused.
Steve was obviously very surprised by Eddie's few, yet full words, but that wasn’t the point right now. He knew that making it a big deal would just make his words even harder to get out.
Steve glanced at the glovebox - a reminder that if he wanted to speak he would be more than happy, but if he didn’t, he could always write. Or anything he wanted, really.
Eddie shook his head.
Steve smiled, lowering his hands from his hips to inside his waistband, testing the water.
“Steve” he breathed quietly. If he was going to be vocal today, Steve may just die now.
Eddie, the smooth fuck, grinded his hips onto Steve’s, making the man under him moan loudly.
“You’re killing me over here.” He smiled, holding Eddie up to slide his jeans and boxers off him, tossing them somewhere behind them.
Eddie tugged at Steve’s jeans, wanting to see him too.
Steve lifted his hips to do the same thing, bringing Eddie up with him too, who chuckled.
“Love your smile” Steve whispered into Eddie’s skin, kissing him all over.
In just their shirts now, Eddie grew eager.
He slid his hands under Steve’s shirt, exploring his skin, marks, moles, landing on his nipples - teasing them. The boy under him squirmed.
Eddie, proud, smirked and continued his work, while Steve became a mess under him.
“Weren’t you-” He squeezed his eyes in pleasure. “Where did all of this confidence come from?” Steve asked, quickly regretting his vague choice of words.
Eddie stilled his hand for a second, uncertain.
“Not that I’m complaining.” He quickly added, silky voice filling up Eddie’s ears and replacing his worries.
His hands travelled lower from his boyfriend’s nipples, fondling every inch of skin he met.
“Baby, please. Get on with it.” Steve pleaded.
Eddie smiled, content with what he was earning.
Finally, he put his hands around his boyfriend’s dick, which was already wet with pre-cum.
Steve groaned loudly, not hiding his needs and wants.
“Control, today?” Eddie whispered against his boyfriend’s thighs, quickly cringing at his own words.
How could a sentence that sounds like it was put together by a fucking toddler be remotely sexy?
How to ruin the mood: a step by step guide by Eddie Munson.
Steve shot up with his neck, carefully watching Eddie hide his face in his own rough skin.
“You wanna take control today baby?” Steve tried to confirm, failing to hide his excitement behind his smile.
His dick jerked at the thought.
Eddie couldn’t help but swallow his embarrassment and snicker at the sight.
He couldn’t have asked for a better boyfriend.
“Don’t laugh at me, asshole!” Steve laughed.
Eddie smiled and without granting the boy an answer, lowering his lips onto his dick.
Pink, puffy lips swallowed around his length, a gasp running out Steve’s mouth.
“Eddie, fuck, fuck, please” He loved how vocal his boyfriend was. He let himself babble loudly enough for Eddie not to overthink too much.
So, he quickly bobbed his head up and down, humming in response. The vibrations sent to his skin driving Steve insane.
“‘M not gonna last long, sweets.” He warned, a hand exploring Eddie’s curls.
Eddie released the shaft from his grasp, licking stripes up and down as a tease.
Steve took a fistful of the dark hair in his grip, bringing Eddie’s head up and away from his sensitive dick.
Eddie, meeting his eyes, gave a red and shiny smile.
Steve brought his hand from his hair to his jaw, making their lips meet, while also connecting their hips.
Eddie moaned into Steve’s mouth.
“So eager, yet so patient. Aren’t you the best of boys?” Steve smiled.
Eddie suddenly forgot why he was so anxious in the first place.
“Best” He whispered, agreeing.
Steve smiled, bringing his hand up to his boyfriend’s mouth, playing with his lips.
Eddie absent-mindedly opened his mouth, welcoming the fingers to explore the surface of his tongue.
“Suck.” Steve ordered, even though it was more of a reminder, for he knew how much Eddie loved this.
Eddie, in fact, happily complied.
Steve pushed his finger on his darling’s tongue, which was spiraling around them by itself already. Every second, he tried inching them further down his throat.
Eddie’s eyes started to water, which wasn’t a sign to stop by any means.
Only a sign he was getting exactly what he wanted.
“You’re so good, baby. So good at taking me.” Steve praised.
Eddie’s dick, untouched and nearly painful, jerked at the flattery.
The fingers continued on their journey, making Eddie gag for a second, signaling at Steve to go easier.
(If you had asked Eddie, though, he would have told you that meant he only wanted them deeper into him).
Steve brought them back on the tip of Eddie’s tongue, him whining at the loss.
Eddie’s tongue lolled out, inviting Steve for the sloppiest of kisses.
Eddie liked that they could have fun like teenagers.
He often felt like actual teens saw him as an adult who thought he was much younger than what he actually was, but really he knew his age, it was just hard to act it because of… everything.
Also, he really wasn’t that old. Steve made him feel like he wasn’t that behind in life, like he still had time.
(Maybe he did.)
Eddie, turning back to earth, was met with a Steve, who, pulling away from the kiss and smiling, sneaked up two fingers at his entrance.
Eddie blushed, suddenly hyperaware of their eye contact, and hid facing away, resting on Steve’s shoulder.
“Alright?” Steve tried, watching Eddie nod against his skin.
He pushed his fingers into Eddie, earning a breathy moan from his boyfriend.
He started working them up and down, speeding up to pry a reaction out of him.
“‘S too much.” Eddie warned, making Steve slow down immediately.
His untouched dick and tortured ass may actually kill him right now.
Suddenly, the realisation of how much he was speaking hit him.
How was Steve not finding this incredibly weird? How the fuck wasn’t he already mad?
Steading his pace, Steve used his free hand to make Eddie face him.
“Okay now?” He asked. Eddie’s heart was pounding.
He nodded, words getting stuck in his throat.
Steve didn’t like to pry, still, he saw gears grinding up in Eddie’s mind.
“One tap, I wait.” Steve tapped lightly his index on Eddie’s cheek. “Two taps, I stop.” He did as he said, again, on his cheek.
Eddie smiled, comforted by his boyfriend’s understanding.
He mumbled something Steve didn’t quite catch, his words still sharp and tight around his throat. Steve nodded, not needing to make Eddie even more uncomfortable.
Don’t need them - he had tried to say. Steve knew him well enough.
Steve quickly picked up his pace, now settling much further into Eddie.
Repeating in and out motions, Eddie bit his shoulder, probably biting back a moan.
Steve hissed, knowing what happened.
“Hit it.” He whispered against his skin.
“Wouldn’t I know it.” He spat.
Eddie started panting heavily against Steve’s shoulder, who was not slowing down by any means.
“Hmmm” He dragged, squeezing his eyes. He didn’t want to come like this.
Taking back the control he had taken before, he licked a long stripe against his own palm, bringing it to Steve’s dick.
Steve, feeling the cold touch, gasped.
“Alright, alright” He chuckled, finally taking his fingers out of Eddie.
Eddie, without giving it a second thought, started stroking himself before Steve could do anything - his dick having been much too forgotten.
“That bad, huh?” Steve smiled, curling his hand around Eddie’s, helping him.
Please - Eddie thought, much too inside his own head to say anything.
“Ready, sweets?” Steve aligned himself between Eddie’s ass cheeks.
Eddie nodded more frantically than he wanted, lowering his hips before Steve could get their position right.
“Eddie, fuck, so desperate” he sighed heavily.
Eddie started bouncing up and down before realizing only spit was between them.
“Slowly…” Steve met Eddie’s eyes, steering him back onto a less painful pace holding his hips.
Eddie let himself be guided by his boyfriend, lifting up his shirt to his chin and caressing his chest, looking to grip something that wasn’t there.
“You’re so beautiful baby, so pretty bouncing on my dick.” Steve coaxed, trying to get the best out of their improvised lube.
“So perfect.. Fits perfectly” He breathed out, losing his grip on Eddie for a few moments, enough for him to lower himself nearly completely onto Steve.
Eddie lets out a breathy moan, scratching at Steve’s chest.
“Fuck, sweets, I’m close” Steve praised, lost in the moment and his love for his boyfriend jumping on him.
“Am I- “ Eddie sighed, so full. “Am I doing good, Stevie?” He asked under his breath.
“Fuck” Steve brought his hands to his face. The pet name went straight to his dick.
“So good, such a good boy.” he confirmed. “You’re doing such a good job, baby. Are you close?” He huffed.
Eddie nodded, gripping Steve’s hips with a force that was sure to leave marks for a couple days.
Steve brought a hand to Eddie’s dick, stroking it while spreading his pre-cum all over it.
Eddie squirmed loudly, squeezing his eyes and biting his lips.
“Don’t hold back on me, sweets.” Steve breathed, before coming inside Eddie, unraveling the knot in his stomach.
He quickly jerked off Eddie, who was slowly losing his pace, following him with white stripes after a few moments.
Eddie fell on top of Steve, who stayed now soft inside him.
“Love you.” Eddie muttered.
Steve, quickly taken out of his post-nut trance, met his eyes.
“I love you so much” He answered, planting a kiss on his forehead, hugging him close to his skin.
Eddie glanced at the glovebox. He needed to tell - write - Steve so many things.
But they could wait until after cuddles.