Chapter Text
Pit-pat pit-pat pit-pat---
Rather than their usual sofa in the Wards common room, Taylor and Lily were spending their evening on the one overlooking the street from the fourth-story window. A few weeks ago, they had sat together during a thunderstorm here, and Lily had managed to cajole Taylor into joining her in the gym.
How things had changed...
Well, it was the same sort of weather, because it seemed that New York liked its rainstorms.
But now, instead of sitting at opposite ends of the sofa, Lily was sat right beside her, legs out and her upper back resting against Taylor's side, as usual.
Were it anyone else, Taylor would have pushed her away, but when it was Lily... well, it was nice that the other girl was so comfortable sitting so close. Honestly, perhaps it was almost a little too close for what was normal between friends... but it was Lily initiating, so it wasn't like she was being too clingy, right?
It wasn't like she minded... in this position she could faintly smell Lily's perfume, which she had suddenly started wearing recently. And she could watch the way the other Wards long eyelashes lazily blinked open and closed as she focused on her mother's copy of Dracula.
“That meeting you had earlier was really long.”
Lily presented it as a statement and a question at the same time.
It certainly had been... three hours of sitting in a room barely allowed to actually say anything, but needing to be there in case she could provide some sort of advice about her power and its application.
“Yeah... They were discussing having me search for Standstill, you know, speed of light stuff and not being noticed.”
“They're really going that far, huh? Well, I guess she did just up and leave, and she knows a lot of us...”
The other Ward was doing that thing where she pretended to read, but clearly was more focused on Taylor than the words on the page before her.
"Yeah... she's considered too risky with what she knows."
There was also the fact that Standstill could instantly, and selectively, make people pass out, at the cost of also having the same effect on her.
It didn't matter whether you were an old lady with poor health or somebody like Legend, she could just do it.
It seemed rather suicidal as an ability, unless you had a good team with you, in which case it was basically a perfect flashbang that took out opponents and left your teammates to mop up what was left. It was a shame that the girl had left the Wards, she'd had a good record for helping to bring people in without any losses or damage.
“... I don't like the idea of you being put at risk like that, isn't there somebody in the Protectorate who can do it? Hell, just find the place and one good knock-out gas grenade could do it... so long as they know where she is, they could just grab her.”
“I think they kind of want to use it as a test, after the Solitaire thing.”
Taylor probably wasn't supposed to discuss this sort of thing with Lily... but then again, didn't she have the right to share things with others, especially people she cared about? It wasn't like Lily would snitch, not like Emma... right?
“Yeah... still. I'd rather somebody else be at risk, preferably somebody who's actually in the Protectorate,” Lily replied, ignorant of Taylor's moment of ugly doubt.
Taylor glanced away to refocus on the outside.
“I mean, don't you think I can handle it?”
Her response was, perhaps, just a little prickly. She already had plenty of adults and people in the PRT doubting her, who read their little reports and thought they understood her powers better than her.
“I know you can.”
Lily was smiling again, even if her eyes still weren't reading the page.
The vote of confidence from the girl felt far more important than one from any of the PRT bigwigs who had grilled her earlier in the day about her abilities. Honestly, she wished that Director Wilkins could have mustered even a fraction of the confidence her only friend her age could in her.
But then again, that was one of the wonderful things about Lily, wasn't it? The fact the girl could be honest with Taylor, even if she wore a smiling, optimistic mask around others... it was her and her alone who got to see behind that.
“Thanks, Lily.”
“You're welcome,” the other girl bumped her head against Taylor's shoulder, like an affectionate cat.
She kinda wanted to reach out and stroke her hair...
But that was just the confusing nascent lesbianism talking.
Taylor resisted the urge, and went back to watching the raindrops slide down the window.
Once more, they lapsed into their comfortable, companionable silence.
Compared to the awkward silences she endured with others, or the silent picture in motion that was her power, this quiet, gentle peace with Lily felt so lovely, she wished moments like this could last forever...
However, it did not last long before Lily spoke up again.
“Hmm... you know, I still think you should let me take you out to that boutique sometime, you'd kill in those jeans.”
“I'm not sure I would really suit it...” she deflected.
“You have nice legs.”
The idea that Lily thought that any part of her was in some way nice was enough to make her feel both overjoyed and nervous in equal measure. It made a part of her want to squeal in joy like a kid, and another wonder whether it was just some sort of backhanded compliment.
“Well, you're very pretty as well, so they'd probably suit you better.”
It was spur of the moment, more an attempt to deflect away from Lily's continued attempts to get her to join her on a shopping trip than anything else.
“Oooh, now I get to add pretty to the list, last time we sat on this sofa you said I was fit. Best compliments I've had from a girl in ages.”
“I mean, it would mean more if it was from somebody who actually knew much about fashion, or from some boy you liked.”
Lily took a long moment to turn over the page of her book, frowning a little, and then she glanced up at Taylor.
Taylor's heart did some weird somersault at the way Lily slowly blinked those long-lashed eyes at her, the light catching them so nicely, gods, every time she looked she found new and more lovely shades inside them...
“Eh, the opinions of boys don't really mean much to me,” Lily gave a casual shrug.
A half-dozen suggestions and interpretations came to Taylor's mind to explain the comment. Perhaps Lily wasn't looking to date right now, or she was focusing more on her Wards career, or she had her own style and didn't really care about what was conventionally attractive... Hell, she may even not be interested in anyone of any gender.
“Oh, um, fair.”
But...
Lily didn't say that she didn't like the opinions of girls, only boys, and her over-analytical mind set upon that wording. Was it deliberate, was it some sort of message or hint? Or was it just casual delivery, and not worthy of deeper thought?
Did...
Did Taylor dare to ask?
Did she venture with the question?
In the end, she didn't... even if just the slightest chance that Lily may also be into girls was enough to make her heart try out for Olympic gymnastics in her chest.
Lily watched her for a long moment more as Taylor fixedly returned her attention out of the window, and then she returned to her book with a soft hum. Gods, the girl was so unaware of the maelstrom of emotions that she'd created, tearing her way through Taylor's heart like a beautiful monster and leaving her all confused, yet leaving Taylor wanting more...
Taylor closed her eyes behind her visor and tried not to focus on her racing heart.
So stupid... stupid stupid stupid.
She needed to talk to somebody, somebody who knew what she was going through because this anxiety was utterly consuming her.
She'd put it off for more than long enough.
Taylor had been staring at a door for the last five minutes.
The door was certainly a rather handsome specimen, but all in all, it did not deserve this degree of staring, but she'd been struggling to work up the courage to actually reach up and press the doorbell.
Sure, it wasn't like she was a stranger to her uncle's apartment; she came here once a week to have dinner with Keith and his family, after all
The problem was, she wasn't here for dinner today.
Jabbing her hand out, she finally managed to press the button, and managed to spook herself with how loud it was.
Man... talk about being nervy.
This was probably a terrible idea, she could just fly away, Arthur would most likely open the door and wonder who pressed the button and then left, maybe she would get their neighbours in trouble if she did that? But no, she needed to actually try to talk this stuff through with people, and much as she'd been putting it off she needed to do this.
Before she could lose her nerve and fly away, the door opened.
“Oh? Is it Friday already?” Arthur asked, before glancing over to the calendar beside the door, one of those artsy ones made up of wood blocks.
“No, no, I kinda just wanted to ask you something, Arthur? Like, if it's not too much trouble.”
She tried to make it sound casual enough.
Arthur raised his brows, but after a moment, he smiled and opened the door further.
“Come in, do you want anything to drink? Oh, and I'm afraid Keith Jr. is having a quick nap so he won't be able to trouble you or demand any treats,” he said, ushering her inside as if she were his niece, and not just an in-law. She removed her shoes as normal, setting them down in their normal place.
“Um, tea, please... Is he still banned from sweets after the carpet incident?”
Arthur gave her a wry look.
“Well, yes and no.”
“... Was it you or Keith who broke first?”
“Him, he spoils him. Honestly, the fact he can be in charge of all you Wards but can't even discipline his own son makes me laugh sometimes!” Arthur chuckled there, reaching up to adjust his glasses as he led Taylor through to the sitting room.
She could see the patch of carpet that, by the looks of it, had been replaced, as it was a different shade from the rest. That or it had been cleaned and scrubbed within an inch of its life.
“Well, he always loved kids, I remember he used to come over and spend ages playing with me,” she said, thinking back. Honestly, those were sweet times, when her mother, father, and uncle would dote on her for hours... perhaps she had been a little spoiled.
“I remember the first time I got to meet your parents Keith promptly spent the first hour bouncing you on his knee, and I was wondering whether he had a secret love child, but then again, I was a lot more... hmm, suspicious at the time,” he said.
She pulled a face, and evidently, it was one he could read into, as he hastened to add;
“I'd just come out of a bad relationship, my previous partner turned out to be a little more straight than he said; turned out he'd gotten a college roommate of mine pregnant, and he left me for her. So I was just a little more paranoid than poor Keith deserved.”
“Huh... and here I thought it was some fairy tale sweeping off your feet sort of thing.”
“Is that how it was sold to you? Taylor, honey, relationships are never quite that easy, I had a good amount of baggage coming into the relationship.”
Yes, she was rather learning such things herself, wasn't she?
“Ah, but I doubt you're here just to listen to my old romantic woes,” Arthur chuckled.
Silence filled the air for a long moment, she should have probably laughed it off, but she wasn't feeling it.
And anyway...
“Aha...” the sound escaped her mouth before she could stop it, and suddenly the painting on the wall to the side of Arthur's head was a lot more interesting than it had been a few moments ago.
But she could see from the periphery of her vision the way her uncle's husband raised his brows for a moment.
“Ah, I see... well, if you've come over for some advice on anything, you know that I'm more than happy to listen... I'm sure Keith would be as well, but I appreciate that could be a different sort of awkward?”
The man crossed one leg over the other and smiled pleasantly at her, as if they were discussing something as simple as a piece of school work.
“Yeah... I... um, I was kinda...”
“Worried to discuss it with somebody who's family?”
She nodded, feeling as if some manner of great weight was pressing down on her from above, and the need to try to escape this situation. But some combination of stubbornness and a desire to know, to just... tell somebody and work through her thinking kept her rooted to the comfortable sofa.
“I get that, when I finally opened up about it, it was to a best friend and a random drunk guy at a club... strange conversation, the shots helped me finally blurt it out, but actually doing so was really helpful...”
... So, when did she start feeling better about herself and this situation then? Like, it was nice to have kind of hinted and admitted such to somebody---
Actually, no, it was terrifying!
Arthur was smiling at her all nicely, his tone was soft, and he was clearly trying to cheer her up with the story, but---
“So, I'm guessing that you've been having thoughts for somebody?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Another girl?”
Obviously.
No, don't be mean... he was just trying to coax her along, like drawing a shy puppy or kitten out of whatever hole it had hidden in with food.
“Yeah...”
“Well, I can't empathise in quite the same way of course; I'm not a woman last time I checked,” he said, chuckling. “Well, first things first I'm going to ask, because it's something I struggled with... Do you feel like it's wrong? Like, are you questioning whether it's right?”
There was a weight to the word there, as if attempting to attach some great deeper meaning, the influence of centuries of stigma and judgement.
“Kinda... but also no...”
Arthur gestured with a hand, as if delegating the floor for her to speak.
“I just... it's not that it feels wrong, I just don't know what the hell I'm doing or if it's anything more than a crush, and I don't want to mess anything up because things are tough for her right now but at the same time I really want to say something but what if it's a short-lived thing and it's just because I have no friends and I'm just confused and it's all messed up in my head and I'm just... I don't know!”
In lieu of clearly communicating anything with any degree of structure, Taylor frustratedly flailed her hands.
Arthur nodded his head, evidently possessing some form of supernatural empathy able to read into vague gestures.
“Okay, Taylor, take a breath... it's okay, I fully get it. I had similar thoughts when I was your age.”
“Really?”
“Absolutely... now, how about I get around to making that tea, and we talk in the kitchen? Maybe you can help me make some dough for the pizza tonight and we'll talk more, having something to focus on always helps me talk about heavy things.”
She paused, swallowed thickly and nodded.
Of course Arthur would get it, even if things were a little different.
Taylor followed him into the fancy kitchen and began helping to make dinner for the man and his family, working over a piece of dough. She wasn't very good at it, but as Arthur had said, it was good to have something tactile to focus on as they talked.
And they talked a lot.
Advice.
Stories.
Consolations and attempts to explain feelings.
The agonising minutes stretched into half an hour, and it wasn't until she was helping to spread the tomato paste that she realised that her shoulders had relaxed for the first time.
It was... it helped, just getting it off her chest.
Somebody else in the world knew, and Arthur wasn't judging her for it (well, it would be a bit hypocritical if he did) and it was just... better.
It wasn't as if she'd been worried about being rejected by family members when it came to something like this; she'd been raised in a house that accepted and loved her uncle for who he was, her parents had always said that they'd love her no matter who she loved---
“Have you talked to your dad about things?” Arthur asked, adding sliced mushrooms.
“No... um, I kind of wanted to speak with you guys first. For obvious reasons.”
A nod.
“Well, if today has helped, and I hope it has, I think you should speak with him next. All well and good to talk to me, and I don't doubt that Keith'll support you as well, but I think you'll settle yourself by speaking to him as well.”
“Yeah...”
A hand found her shoulder.
“Do you want to stay and talk to Keith as well?”
“... I think I'm all talked out for today.”
“Understandable... well, Keith's going to be back from the office soon, he never leaves before five,” Arthur said, glancing at the clock. “So if you want to head off now, I won't mention... and if you want to talk about anything, you know where I am.”
“... Thanks, Arthur.”
She meant it, she really did.
It'd been awkward, but the relief from just being able to get it all off her chest was just... yeah.
Taylor departed and appeared in her bedroom in Brockton Bay, and suddenly felt as if she'd both run a marathon and eaten a whole bowl of sugar at the same time.
She flopped out on her bed, staring at the ceiling.
A part of her, a small, fragile little part, hoped that maybe, if she could gather the courage to ask, Lily would respond just as well, if not better, to the same conversation she'd just had with Arthur.