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Jake's eyes were closed, his chest rising and falling at a slow, even pace. He was close to sleep, but not quite there yet. Tethered between reality and slumber. His phone rang and he opened his eyes in annoyance. Who the hell was calling him?
"Dude, where are you?" Joey said as soon as Jake picked up.
"Hi, I'm great. How are you?" Jake responded sarcastically. "What are you talking about?" He asked, rubbing his eyes. He was so close to falling asleep. What he wouldn't give for a solid nap.
"It's game night? Why aren't you here?" Joey said and Jake groaned internally. He forgot that he had said he would come over to play video games with the guys. He really didn't want to go in the first place which was probably why it was so easy for it to slip his mind.
"My dad took my car keys." He lied with ease. It was getting far too easy for him to lie to them now. He was good at lying to everyone except for Andy.
"Bro, what the fuck?" Joey said in frustration. Oh good, he bought it. That made things much easier.
"What happened?" Jake heard Ethan say on the other end of the call. "Did he ditch us for the fag again?" Jake could hear the unbridled disgust in his voice and it filled Jake with rage.
"No, his dad took his keys, jackass." Joey replied. "Also that assignment is over. Why would he be with that freak?" He added and Jake rolled his eyes, biting the inside of his cheek nearly hard enough to draw blood to keep from saying anything.
"Literally what I was about to say, Joseph." Jake said, his voice feigning amusement. He ran his fingers through Andy's shower damp hair as he laid on his chest. He wasn't sure if the other boy was asleep or not.
Andy swatted at him- well, he'sdefinitely awake-, but said nothing, too comfortable in Jake's arms to put up much of a fuss. He listened to conversation, only halfway interested. He hated Jake's 'friends'. They were awful people that treated Jake(and him) horribly. All Andy wanted was for the two of them to get the hell out of Ohio and never see any of these people again.
"Just making sure." Ethan grumbled, but Jake ignored him. He was so frustrated with them; Ethan specifically. He didn't understand the borderline obsession he had with Andy or whether or not Jake was hanging out with him.
"Bro, you're needier than a bitch." Joey said. Andy heard the comment and had to bury his face in Jake's neck to keep from laughing.
"I'll see you guys at school." Jake said with a laugh before hanging up. He wrapped his arms around Andy's waist, chuckling as Andy laughed.
"Your boyfriend is mad." Andy said sarcastically, yelping when Jake swatted the back of his head. "Fuck off." Jake huffed, rolling his eyes. Joey wasn't wrong though, Ethan was acting like a jealous girlfriend. It was fucking weird.
"Why do you talk to them still?" Andy asked, sitting up to look at Jake. He couldn't help but notice Ethan's ever growing suspicion of Jake and Andy's 'friendship'. It made Andy more than a little nervous.
"Just want to avoid drama until school is over." Jake replied. He tilted his head to the side, smiling as he looked at Andy.
"What?" Andy asked a bit self consciously. "The fuck are you looking at?"
"Your hair is curly." Jake said with a soft smile, reaching up to run his fingers through Andy's locks. He had known the other boy this long and was only just finding out that Andy's hair wasn't straight. Crazy how little he paid attention.
"Did you not know this?" Andy asked, pushing at his hair in vain; as if it would magically straighten if he fussed with it enough.
"No. You always straighten it. I've never seen it like this." Jake said, twirling a lock of hair around his finger.
"It looks like shit." Andy complained, trying to hide his face.
"No it doesn't." Jake replied, marveling at the texture of it. It was so soft and thick. More of a wavy pattern than anything, but seemed to get more waves and curls as it dried. "I want to see this more often." He said, drawing a scoff from Andy.
"You're an idiot." Andy said with a small laugh.
"Maybe, but I still want to see this." Jake shrugged, kissing Andy's forehead. The two fell into a comfortable silence, enjoying the rare peace as the rain fell softly outside. Jake never knew that peace like this existed. He never knew he could just... be.
Jake's mind began to wander. He realized that he and Andy never really talked. Sure, he knew Andy's favorite band, what batman comics he liked, his weird ass obsession with eating BBQ sauce with a spoon(he still didn't know how to feel about that one). He's never just asked him questions though.
"So what are you?" Jake asked suddenly, breaking the silence.
"White?" Andy replied in confusion, drawing a laugh from the other boy.
"No, you fucking moron." Jake snorted, flicking Andy's forehead playfully. "Like, you fuck guys and girls. What the fuck does that mean?" He asked genuinely. He didn't really understand how that worked.
"I'm pan." Andy hummed, nuzzling into Jake's chest as the other boy stroked his hair affectionately.
"The fuck is that?" Jake asked incredulously. He had never heard of that in his life. "You fuck cookware?"
"It's kind of like bisexual, except I don't have preferences when it comes to gender. I'm mainly attracted to personality." Andy explained, rolling his eyes at the last comment.
"Then how did you end up with me?" Jake asked with a snort.
"I got to know the real you." Andy replied, turning his head to look up at Jake.
Jake rolled his eyes, but couldn't ignore the flutter in his chest at that. "How old were you when you realized?" Jake asked, brushing hair off of Andy's forehead.
"I was probably seven or eight? I was watching Batman with my grandparents and told gran that I wanted to marry Nicole Kidman and Michael Keaton." Andy laughed, smiling at the memory.
"How did they react?" Jake asked. He knew how his father would have reacted if Jake had said something similar. Jake would have woke up in the hospital.
"They didn't care. At the time, they kind of just assumed it was kids being kids and didn't think I actually meant it, but once I got older, they realized I was serious. They never really made a big deal out of it though." Andy explained, tangling his fingers with Jake's as he spoke.
"What about you? There's no way I'm actually your gay awakening." Andy giggled, kissing his knuckles.
"I don't know. There was never a light bulb moment for me." Jake shrugged, looking up at the ceiling in thought.
"When I was twelve or thirteen, I realized that all of my friends had crushes on girls, but I didn't. I didn't really know what it meant, but then at church, they were talking about gay people and dad spent the entire drive home talking about how they should make it illegal again and how it should be punishable by death." He said with a humorless laugh.
"Jesus christ." Andy hissed. He couldn't imagine that. His grandparents were so supportive and loving, he couldn't dream of them being anything but.
"Yeah, he kept telling me and Sarah that if he ever found out we were like that, he would beat us to death." Jake recounted, completely numb to it. Thinking about it no longer scared Jake or filled him with anxiety. It was merely a fact.
Andy reached up, stroking Jake's cheek gently. He smiled when Jake grabbed his hand, holding it to his cheek and kissing the palm lovingly. "After that, I just buried all of those feelings as far down as I could. I figured that if I ignored the fact that I was gay for long enough, it would eventually go away." He said and looking back, he saw how silly it was. Jake couldn't run from who he was forever.
"I'm sorry you went through that, Jake. You didn't deserve any of it." Andy said, staring up at his boyfriend. It hurt him so deeply knowing that Jake didn't have the life and upbringing that he deserved.
"It's okay. We're here now. That's all that matters." Jake smiled sadly, leaning down to kiss Andy on the forehead.
"Andy, what do you want for din-? Oh hello, Jake! How are you, honey? Are you staying for dinner?" Anne said as she opened the door, pausing when she saw Jake laying in bed with her grandson.
Jake nearly jumped out of bed, his entire body tense as he stared at the elderly woman like a deer in headlights. "What are the options and yes, he is." Andy replied, completely relaxed as he traced patterns into Jake's shirt. He didn't move at all, but could feel how tense Jake was underneath him.
"Well I have everything for meatloaf and spaghetti." She replied, smiling sadly at the obvious fear and discomfort in Jake's eyes. "Honey, you don't have to be afraid of being yourself here." She said comfortingly.
Jake relaxed slightly, still very much confused about what was happening. "Do you like meatloaf?" Andy asked, looking up at Jake.
"I do." He nodded, still wildly confused. How was Andy so calm? How was Anne not freaking out over a boy in bed with her grandson?
"Meatloaf it is then. Dinner should be done in an hour or so. Be ready to eat." She said, smiling at the two young men before closing the door again.
"You'll thank me later. Gran's meatloaf is awesome." Andy hummed sleepily, nuzzling into Jake's neck.
"Your fucking grandma knows about this?" Jake asked incredulously, ignoring Andy's comment.
"No." Andy replied, sliding his hand under Jake's shirt to trace his skin.
"Then why is she- what-?" Jake tried to form a coherent sentence.
"Honestly, I think gran was hoping this would happen. For whatever reason, you made a great impression. She loves you." Andy shrugged.
"Oh." Was all Jake could spit out.
"Oh?" Andy repeated, looking up at Jake.
"She likes me?" Jake asked, confusion lilting through his tone.
"Yeah? Did you think I was joking when I told you that before?" Andy replied in confusion.
"Like I figured she liked me as a friend for you, but-." Jake stammered, searching for his words.
"But not as my boyfriend?" Andy finished helpfully.
"Yeah." Jake shrugged. This was... weird. He didn't know how to feel. Part of him felt like he should be happy that Andy's grandparents knew and didn't care. The fear was eating him alive though. He knew his parents would never feel the same. He knew if they found out-.
"Baby?" Jake snapped out of his thoughts, looking at Andy.
"Yeah?" He replied shakily.
"Are you okay?" Andy already knew the answer, but still wanted to give Jake the chance to tell him himself.
"I guess? I don't know. This is a lot." Jake said honestly.
"Do you want me to tell gran that you can't stay?" Andy suggested, rubbing a comforting hand across his thigh.
"No. It's okay. I can do this." Jake said, more so to convince himself than Andy.
"Okay. If you're sure." Andy nodded, kissing Jake on the cheek.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They went downstairs after Andy's grandmother called for them. Jake tried his best not to hold onto Andy's hand as they walked into the kitchen. He could feel himself tremble with nerves as his gaze fell upon Andy's grandparents.
"Jake, you have a seat while I get the meatloaf." Anne said, bending down to pull the dish from the oven.
Jake looked to Andy quickly before doing so.
"What would you like to drink, Jake?" Anne asked, slowly making her way to the table.
"Water is fine, Anne." Jake smiled politely, standing to help Andy carry some of the serving dishes.
"No, no, no. You're a guest. You sit down." Anne said, waving him off.
"Are you sure-?"
"I wouldn't bother arguing with her, son." Urban chuckled, patting Jake on the hand. Jake nodded, sitting back down. Andy grinned, winking at him as he sat a plate in front of Jake. "I'll get you a water." He said.
"Andy does not get his stubbornness from me, Jake. Trust me, its better to just go along with what either of them say." Urban leaned in, whispering. Jake laughed quietly at this. "Yeah. I've noticed that."
"What are you two talking about?" Andy asked, coming back with two glasses of water.
"Oh nothing." Urban said, sending Jake a wink.
Andy looked between the two; practically beaming. He loved that his grandparents liked Jake. "Andy, sit down. I can finish up." Anne said, swatting at him.
"Okay! No need for violence!" Andy huffed, dodging her hand. Jake smiled at this, shaking his head in amusement as his boyfriend sat down next to him. He reached under the table, giving Jake's knee a gentle squeeze.
"This is delicious, Anne." Jake complimented after taking a bite of his food. He tried to ignore the tremble in his hands as he ate. He was so nervous, it was embarrassing.
"I'm glad you like it, dear." Anne smiled. She could practically see the nerves radiating off of Jake, but didn't comment on it. He was a sweet boy, but clearly had a lot of family troubles.
Andy glanced at Jake, his hand still on his knee as he sipped on his drink.
"What's your plans after graduating, son?" Urban suddenly spoke up.
"Go to college." Jake replied, hoping it wasn't too vague.
"What are you wanting to get a degree in?" Urban asked.
"Probably law like my dad." Jake replied automatically. It was the answer he always gave people when they asked. 'Oh really? Why law?' They would ask and Jake would put on a fake smile and say: 'well my father is a lawyer like I said so I want to follow in his footsteps.' Then he would get oohs and aws and be told what a great son he was or how proud his father must be.
It was an easy script that he didn't have to think much about.
"Okay that's what your parents want to hear, I'm sure. What's the truth?" Urban said without missing a beat. Jake looked up in surprise and Andy covered his mouth to hide a laugh. Ever the intuitive person.
"Uhm... I'm interested in sound engineering, maybe minor in music." Jake replied honestly after a few beats, waiting for the judgment.
"That's a good idea. Having a way to be in the industry and guaranteed income is good planning." Urban said and Jake almost choked on his drink. No one has ever spoke positively about him wanting to go into the music industry before.
"Andy loves music. I see why you two get along." Urban nodded, going back to eating as Jake stared aimlessly at his plate. He didn't really know how to respond.
"He's really good at guitar. I've never heard anyone play like him." Andy practically beamed. Jake shook his head, trying his best not to smile like an idiot.
"Clearly you haven't heard enough people play guitar." Jake said jokingly, resting his hand on top of Andy's.
Andy stuck his tongue out at him before turning his attention to his food. Jake chuckled, looking over at Urban who merely smiled, shaking his head in a 'this is what I deal with every day' type of way. Jake grinned.
The rest of dinner went by in a comfortable silence. Only broken whenever Andy or his grandmother made comments to each other about the current political climate(Jake has never sat through a conversation about politics that didn't make him want to pull his hair out). He checked his phone, wincing at the time. His parents definitely were going to say something if he didn't leave now.
"I need to head home. Thank you so much for having me for dinner." Jake said, standing up with his plate to take to the sink.
"Of course! We loved having you." Anne smiled sweetly.
Andy took Jake's plate from him, sitting it in the sink. "I'll walk you out." Andy said, grabbing his hand.
"See? That wasn't too bad." Andy whispered as they walked towards the front door.
"I guess not." Jake shrugged, leaning into his boyfriend. For the first time in Jake's life, he didn't feel completely out of place.
"How did your grandpa know I was lying?" Jake asked, reaching the front door. He rested his hand on the knob, waiting for the answer.
"Because he knows I wouldn't date someone whose ambitions aren't even their own." Andy laughed. Jake smiled at that, shaking his head in amusement. "Of course." He said.
"I love you. Be safe, please." Andy said, leaning over and kissing Jake softly. Jake smiled against his lips, already missing them when he pulled away.
"I love you too. I'll text you when I get home, baby." He said, opening the front door. It took some convincing to get his body to actually move. He didn't want to go home. He didn't want to leave Andy.
Jake just wanted to spend up the clock so he was already moved out and far, far away from this town. Most importantly from his parents. He just wanted to live his life- with Andy. All he wanted was Andy.