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If Zuko were to be honest, he hadn't planned on ending up here. He wasn't even aware of exactly where he was until he looked at the map and realized what area they were in.

He shouldn't prolong the journey. To avoid unnecessary unpleasantness, he decided not to use airships – because they still have incredibly negative connotations in the Earth Kingdom. Although none of the air fleet achieved its goal that day, the inhabitants of the Earth Kingdom are aware that on the day of Sozin's Comet, the Fire Nation planned to completely destroy them and burn their territory, regardless of how many casualties it would cause.

And now, less than a year after the end of the war, the Fire Lord is going to Omashu to meet with King Bumi.

Zuko should use his airships. Less than a year earlier, half of the fleet was destroyed, but the remaining ships still exist. And even if not them, there are air balloons, which would probably make it faster to reach Ba Sing Se.

Despite this, Zuko decided to use ships and later land transport. This may be a bad idea—because it makes him a bigger target and his journey longer—but at the moment, it would simply not be advisable for him to use airships. Not to mention that one of the conditions of the peace treaty he made with the Earth Kingdom was that Fire Nation airships would not enter their territory without permission. And Zuko really understands this, because if he were in their place, he wouldn't want that to happen either.

Now, theoretically, he would be able to obtain such permission. But he hasn't even tried to do so, mainly because many people from the Fire Nation want to go to the meeting in Omashu. Perhaps next year, when the situation is calmer, Zuko will use aircraft to return to his country as soon as possible.

He doesn't like leaving the Fire Nation, not right now. Mainly because his position is still uncertain and so much could go wrong. Many people in his country still believe that the war should not end — not when they were so close to victory and not when they were not brought to their knees because they weren’t.

But this meeting, this meeting in Omashu, is important. The vast majority of Fire Nation soldiers withdrew from Earth Kingdom territory long ago, but the issue of exchanging hostages, the most problematic ones, remains. Zuko personally would not like to release some of them, but he has to try, mainly because they are people whose families' support will be incredibly important in the future.

Anyway, after long (definitely too long) discussions, it was finally decided that they would travel to the coast of the Earth Kingdom by ship and then move on to Omashu by land. Half of the people Zuko is taking with him disagree with this idea and think it is incredibly stupid. The other half is divided. Some of them believe that this reflects badly on their relations with the Earth Kingdom, because the Fire Nation should be able to take their airships. Others are incredibly happy because they have taken a large number of soldiers with them and constitute almost a small army. Zuko would prefer to avoid this, but at the same time, he is aware that he is entering places where open fighting took place just a year earlier.

If something happened to him... or if something happened to the people he took with him...

Why did he agree to go to Omashu in the first place? Perhaps it would be better for him to go to a more neutral place - but at the same time, coming to Omashu is a sign of great trust, both for Zuko and for King Bumi. Not to mention that on his way back, Zuko wants to visit the colonies and see how things are going there, and then he'll return to his country as soon as possible.

To be honest, the colonies are something Zuko doesn't want to think about right now, even though he knows he'll have to talk about them. Fortunately, in Omashu, he is only supposed to meet with King Bumi, and his friends will be there too, so maybe it won't be so bad and...

“Zuko?” Mai's voice interrupts his thoughts.

“Yes?” he raises his voice, looking at his girlfriend.

Mai has been with him ever since he took power. Her presence is incredibly important to him, especially now that the number of assassination attempts has become so alarming that Zuko, staying in the palace, is unable to function normally, fearing that one day he will not react quickly enough and end up with a knife in his back. Or someone burns him.

Of the two options, Zuko would prefer the dagger. Maybe he should ask Mai to stab him with the dagger in case someone sets him on fire? Or maybe he should just ask her to stab him with the dagger now to prevent a slightly less pleasant death?

“Zuko,” Mai says again. “You're doing it again. Your mind is wandering.”

“Sorry,” Zuko forces himself to smile at her to calm her down. But it doesn't seem to work, because Mai doesn't smile back.

Not that she ever smiled at him very often. Lately, Mai has been even more gloomy than usual. And Zuko really doesn't blame her, because he doesn't always have as much time for her as he would like. That doesn't make him a very good boyfriend, but when you're the Fire Lord, you don't always have time for your loved ones.

“What's going on?” Mai asks, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. “Why did we stop?”

“Ah,” Zuko realizes that yes, he was the one who asked them to stop for a moment. “I think I know this place.”

“Really?” Mai doesn't seem happy that he stopped them all just for that.

But, to his credit, they would have had to stop for a moment anyway. They just made a slightly quicker stop.

“Yes,” Zuko replies. He hesitates a little, then suggests, “Do you want to come with me? I don't know if I can still find the place, but maybe...”

Mai sighs heavily.

“I don't think you're going to take many guards with you, so I'll go.”

“I don't need a guard, Mai,” Zuko points to his hair, which deliberately does not currently have a crown.

Sometimes he still feels strange wearing the official Fire Lord's attire. He spent three years at sea, months as a refugee, and then several more fleeing his country again, this time with the Avatar and his friends.

Sometimes he still feels like an impostor who doesn't deserve the crown.

The problem with returning to a place where you only spent a day or two (almost a year ago), is that you simply don't remember exactly where you should go. Agni, Zuko spent ten minutes trying to remember the name of that girl!

Song.

The girl's name is Song. Her mother... ugh. Did her mother ever introduce herself to them?

“Why are you looking for her anyway?” Mai asks, glancing at him with a seemingly indifferent expression. But Zuko knows her well enough to see the curiosity hidden in her eyes. “I didn't know you were friends with Earth Kingdom peasants.”

“Mai,” Zuko sighs quietly, glancing at her meaningfully.

Mai presses her lips together.

It's not easy to give up certain habits. When Zuko and Mai were growing up, they were taught that they were above others, that they were more important than the rest. This meant that for a long time, they both tended to look down on others, those they did not consider their equals.

They are trying to improve. They are trying to be more open, to look at the person and not the position they hold, but sometimes it's not enough. Sometimes something slips out, sometimes they fall back into their old habits.

“You didn't answer my question,” Mai says.

Zuko realizes that he won't hear an apology or an admission of guilt from her, not today. Not now, as they head deep into the Earth Kingdom, as they head to talk to those who hate them and would gladly see them dead.

“That was over a year ago,” Zuko says, deciding that there is no point in arguing with Mai or demanding more from her than she is willing to give.

Ever since they left the Fire Nation, Mai has been in a combative mood, because she knows very well that they cannot show weakness. The Earth Kingdom would gladly take everything they could from them, calling it just revenge or compensation for a century of suffering. And Zuko knows that his country has done a lot of wrong, he really does, but there is a limit to how often he can apologize or how much he can give to others.

“My uncle and I were fleeing from Azula, right after the Siege of the North,” Zuko explains.

“The attack on the North,” Mai mutters. “It wasn't long enough to call it a siege.”

“We decided to go deep into the Earth Kingdom because we hoped to escape Azula,” Zuko decides to ignore his girlfriend's words. “Of course, Uncle being Uncle, had to make himself some weird tea that caused an allergic reaction and gave him a terrible rash. For a moment, he even considered eating some mushrooms that could cause him to go blind... Anyway, we went to the doctor. And that's how we met Song and her mother. She helped us heal my Uncle and then invited us to dinner.”

“That was nice of them,” Mai says.

Zuko glances at her, trying to figure out if Mai is being ironic. Sometimes he's not sure.

But Mai doesn't look like she's making fun of him, so he just nods.

“I wasn't a good person back then,” Zuko says, looking away from her. “We knew Azula was after us, so...”

He trails off.

“I stole their ostrich horse,” he admits shamefully. “It wasn't my finest moment. But we had no money, and I knew that without a horse it would be easy to catch us, so... I made a mistake,” he finishes weakly, realizing that it's starting to sound like excuses.

Mai is silent for a moment, then sighs heavily.

“So what are you going to do now? Apologize? Give them back the ostrich horse?”

“Uh, I don't know where it is now,” Zuko admits. The truth is, the ostrich horse was incredibly useful and probably saved his and Uncle’s lives, but later... well, they were forced to leave it behind. Zuko can only hope that it found a good owner. “But yes, I'm going to apologize. And try to make amends for my actions somehow. I don't think they'll forgive me, but at least I'll pay them for that ostrich horse. I'm over a year late, but... It's better than nothing, right?”

It takes him some time to reach Song and her mother's house. It's just the two of them, him and Mai. They've changed into more neutral colors so that no one will recognize them as the Fire Lord and his girlfriend. The captain of his guard wanted him to take more people with him, but Zuko refused, noting that he risks more by going surrounded by guards than by going incognito. He was here a year earlier, as a refugee and fugitive, and somehow he managed.

Zuko hesitates for a moment, stopping at the door.

Mai takes his hand, intertwining their fingers. She doesn't smile at him, but the mere fact that she is next to him gives him courage.

Zuko knocks on the door.

For a moment, there is silence. Zuko stands at the door, trying to control his uncertainty. Will Song and her mother recognize him? How will they react? Will they be angry with him?

Probably, but at least they shouldn't mind accepting the money. Zuko is the Fire Lord, he's quite rich — not that he's wasting money, the Fire Nation is entering a crisis and this money will certainly be useful to his subjects — but anyway, he can afford to pay for one or two ostrich horses.

The door opens and a man unknown to him stands in the doorway. He looks about thirty years old, but there is fatigue in his eyes.

“What do you want?” he asks in an unpleasant tone, looking at them. His eyes linger a little longer on Zuko's scar.

“I, uh...” Zuko tries to think of something, some sensible answer. Could this be Song's father? No, he seems too young, and besides, didn't Song mention that her father was dead? Or did she not say that? Agni, Zuko can't remember. “I'm looking for Song and her mother.”

“Who?”

“Song and her mother,” Zuko repeats. “They lived here. I met them here about... a year ago? During the war.”

Understanding flashes in the man's eyes.

“Ah, them,” he says. “The previous owners of this house.” 

“Yes, exactly. Do you know where they are now?”

Maybe they moved to Ba Sing Se?

“I'm sorry, young man,” says the man. “They're dead.”

Zuko freezes.

“What?” he asks. “How?”

“The Fire Nation,” the man replies. “They came here some time ago, during the war. Song and her mother didn't manage to escape. If you ask the village chief, he'll tell you more. I don't have any more details, we weren't particularly close.”

Zuko feels faint. He would probably fall to the ground if it weren't for Mai, who is standing next to him, holding him, grounding him.

“Are you okay, young man?” asks the man, seeing Zuko suddenly turn pale.

“I... need a moment,” says Zuko, then turns and walks away.

He moves away from the house as quickly as possible, unable to bear it, unable to stay here. Mai follows him, calling his false name. For a moment, Zuko feels as if he has gone back in time, as if he were still Lee, a refugee, a fugitive. The world seems to blur before his eyes. He can barely walk straight.

He doesn't know how long he walks like this, heading forward. At some point, his legs give way and he falls to the ground, breathing heavily.

“Zuko,” Mai kneels in front of him.

He can't look at her. He can't.

“Zuko,” Mai repeats.

“It's my fault,” he whispers. “It's my fault. I killed them.”

“You can't be sure of that.”

“I stole their ostrich horse,” Zuko remarks. “If I hadn't, they would have been able to escape. They knew what to expect from the Fire Nation, which is probably why they had an ostrich horse at home, knowing that one day they would have to flee from the Fire Nation... Agni, Song, and her scars.”

The scars on her legs. He didn't want to think about it then, but he couldn't help wondering what those burn scars on the young girl's legs meant, as if...

“I knew we were close to the front,” he whispers. “I knew Azula was chasing us. I knew that sooner or later the war would reach them and that they might have to flee, but that didn't stop me from stealing that ostrich horse–”

“Zuko,” Mai slowly reaches out her hands to him, her fingers gently lifting his chin, forcing him to look at her. “You can't be sure of that. Maybe they bought another ostrich horse later. Maybe they died in the village, and it didn't matter whether they had a horse or not.

“Or they died because they had no way to escape, because I stole their ostrich horses. If that was the case, then you might as well say that I killed them...”

“I don't recall you informing the Fire Nation of their whereabouts.” Mai carefully, incredibly carefully, pulls him toward her, embracing him. Zuko doesn't know why she isn't disgusted by him. “Perhaps you made their deaths possible. But you didn't cause them directly.”

“I might as well have done it. I'm not only a thief, but also a murderer... Agni, how many people have died because of me, because I wasn't careful enough or simply didn't think–”

“There's nothing you can do about it now,” Mai holds him tightly. “You can't turn back time, Zuko.”

“I know,” he confesses. Oh, how he wishes he could turn back time, fix his mistakes. “I know that, Mai, but Song and her mother... Agni. Someone like me shouldn't be Fire Lord.”

The moment he took the throne, he knew he wasn't worthy of it. But he did it anyway, because he knew it had to be him. His Uncle wanted to finally rest, to retire. Azula wasn't in a good mental state. The rest of his family — the distant, incredibly distant ones — would probably want to continue the war.

“Perhaps not,” Mai admits quietly. “But you are the only Fire Lord we have. You are the first Fire Lord in a hundred years who does not want to continue this war. Who works for peace. And while you may not deserve this crown, you must wear it, Zuko. You must finish what you started, make sure we provide this world... So that this kind of tragedy never happens again.”

Zuko says nothing, burying his face in her chest. He wants to cry, but for some reason the tears won't come—and doesn't that make him a terrible person?

But Mai is right.

Ending the war is only the first step.

Now they must do everything they can to keep the peace.

And even if Zuko doesn't deserve the crown, he must wear it to make sure no one else is ever hurt by the Fire Nation again.

He owes that much to Song and her mother.