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Dick stares at Jason. Then at the worm Jason is holding out to him. Then back at Jason.
"Are you for real?"
Jason rolls his eyes so hard, Dick wants to make a comment about them getting stuck in the back of his head. He doesn't, but only because he's more mature than that.
"Oh, c'mon, don't be a bitch, Dickhead," Jason says, pushing his hand out again. "Just… stab the little fucker onto the hook, and then -"
"You spear the poor defenseless worm onto the sharp metal hook so we can feed it to the carnivorous fish," Dick says, shoving Jason's hand away. "Or are you a bitch?"
They're sitting on something that wants to think it's a bench, on something that wants to think it's a dock. In reality, they're both basically just wooden slabs held together by some bent and rusted nails, in a vaguely bench-ish and dock-ish shape. Dick is fairly confident that it was probably built when Alfred was still in diapers.
On the dock next to Jason's feet is a battered, rusted fishing box, filled with hooks and red-and-white plastic ball things, along with more fishing line. In front of them, laying on the dock, are the fishing poles. Both of which Jason pulled out of a closet at the cabin, muttering something about 'Roy', 'hoarder', and 'bored', and Dick had been too busy staring in horror at the 'fishing gear' to ask further.
"I ain't a bitch," Jason says, glaring at Dick. "But I ain't doin' your hook. C'mon, man, we routinely see people's bones sticking out of their skin. Hell, we routinely are the reason their bones are sticking out. But you're too much of a baby to put a stupid worm on a stupid hook?"
"Fuck you," Dick says, very maturely. "You first."
"Fine. I will," Jason says, and then proceeds to just… stare at the worm in one hand, the hook in the other.
After what feels like forever, but is probably only a minute, Dick can't help himself. "What? You too much of a bitch? How'd you put it? 'Just stab the little fucker onto the hook'? Well, I'm waiting."
"Oh, fuck you, I'm… I'm gettin' there. Fuck off," Jason swears. He takes a deep enough breath that Dick can see his chest moving with the motion, and then he brings both hook and squirming worm closer to his face.
And Dick isn't ashamed to admit it. He squirms a little uncomfortably himself, watching as Jason slowly drives the hook through one end of the worm, then even more slowly wraps the worm around the hook, then stabs it again.
"S'just a… just a stupid worm," Jason mutters, and his face almost looks green, like he might hurl. "Doesn't… stupid fucker doesn't even have a brain to feel it."
"Uh huh. That's why it's moving like that, 'cause it doesn't feel it," Dick says, unable to look away from the twitching worm.
"Oh, shut up," Jason says vehemently. "There. See? It's… it's fine. Now we just put the bobber on -" He grabs one of the red-and-white balls, and starts some complicated maneuver to attach it to the line. "-and there. Done. Your turn."
Dick stares at him for a few seconds. Finally, he says, "Why don't you just let me use that one? You know, 'cause I am absolutely okay being a 'bitch' if it means I don't have to torture insects."
"Oh, come on, you goddamn baby," Jason cusses. "I did it, now you have to."
"Says who? Who is here to see me prove my manliness by torturing insects, Jay? Who is gonna know, and criticize me for not torturing poor defenseless creatures, huh?"
"Worms aren't insects, number one, they're…" Jason hesitates for a second. "Well, they're not insects. And two, I'm here. I'm gonna criticize you for it. Now c'mon. Just… here," he says, pulling another worm he apparently gathered this morning out of the little dish. "Just put it on the hook, and lets get this over with."
Dick stares at the worm. And… Christ, he doesn't want to do this. This is just… it's barbaric. And worse, it's pointless. If he wants fish, he can just go to any goddamn restaurant and get fish, without having to torture a defenseless creature.
But… He takes a deep breath. This is… this is 'bonding', or whatever. Him and Jason are… they're bonding, and they're going to do a bonding activity by torturing defenseless creatures, and feeding them to fish.
Slowly -tentatively -he reaches out, and takes the worm from Jason's hand. He can do this. It's not… It's just a worm, it's not like it has feelings. It'll be fine, it won't even know what's happening.
He doesn't let himself think about it; as far as his brain is concerned, there was a worm, and there was a hook, and now there's a worm on a hook, and how it got there is a complete mystery to the universe. Without looking at the hook -and whatever mysterious entity that's on the hook that isn't a living, feeling creature -he shoves the line at Jason.
"Here. Put the ball thing on, and lets just get this over with," he says desperately.
Luckily, Jason obeys, and a minute later, Dick finds himself holding a fishing pole, standing next to Jason on the edge of the aspires-one-day-to-be-a-dock.
"Alright. So… I did this part with Roy, and it's… It's pretty easy," Jason says, although Dick recognizes his 'trying to be confident' voice. "You just… you hold the little trigger thing there, and then pull back -" He demonstrates as he talks. "-like this and… Let go."
Dick watches as the line with the little ball goes sailing off into the pond, landing about twenty feet out into the water. Which… okay, simple enough. If Jason can do it, Dick can do it. It doesn't look that hard. Just… Rod back over the shoulder, and -
Jason roars. "Jesus fuck! Christ, Dick, what the motherfucking fuck!" he yells. And Dick turns to look, freezing when Jason yelps. "Stop! Holy fuckin' Jesus, don't… What the fuck?!"
Very carefully, Dick turns only his head to look at Jason, and…
"Oh. Oh shit," he cusses quietly. "Um… Okay. Okay, this is uh… Don't move," he says, carefully ducking down, and bringing the pole over his head. Luckily, the line goes with it, extending out a bit more. "I can… Just hold on."
"Oh, yeah, no, I was gonna go fuckin' swimmin' with this goddamn hook in my shoulder," Jason bites out. "There's a knife in the fuckin' tacklebox, get it out, and cut the line."
"Right. Just… gimme a minute." Dick carefully steps over the pole on the dock, and starts digging through the tacklebox, until he finds… "Uh, only thing in here is a fileting knife; that what you -"
"Yes! Fuck, Dickwad, use your goddamn teeth if you have to, just cut the fuckin' line!"
"Yeah. Okay," Dick says quickly, pulling the knife out of its leather sheath, and moving over to Jason. "Okay, just… stay still, alright?"
Jason mutters something that Dick chooses to ignore, as he moves up behind Jason, and gets a good look at the hook. It's… Well, it's pretty deep, right above Jason's armpit, yanked in way past the curvy bit, and it looks like it only stopped because of the little knobby thing on the end that the line is tied to. Unfortunately, Jason decided to wear a muscle shirt, leaving absolutely nothing between him and… Well, Dick attempting to fish.
Dick grabs the line a few inches away from the hook, and carefully cuts it, leaving the line dangling free down Jason's back.
"Alright, it's… well, you're not attached to the pole anymore," Dick says, trying to sound chipper about it. "I don't wanna try and pull it out here, we can head back to the cabin and I can take it out there."
Jason doesn't move for a second, and Dick watches his shoulders rise and fall twice. Then, finally…
"I swear to god, if keepin' you alive wasn't the whole goddamn point of this fuckin' trip, I'd fuckin' murder you right now."
"Well, that'd be counterproductive," Dick says primly. "Seeing as how you need me to take that hook out and -"
He doesn't even have time to finish, before Jason's spinning around, and grabbing him. Next thing Dick knows is that weightless feeling of falling… then he sputters and coughs, spitting out pond water as his head breaks the surface. He looks up to find Jason glaring down at him from the dock.
"Guess I uh… I probably earned that one," he says, hauling himself to the edge of the pond, and then flopping onto the ground.
"You bet your ass you fuckin' earned that one. Christ," Jason swears, shaking his head. "I can't believe you fuckin' hooked me."
"Hey, you were the one who wanted to commune with nature, asshole," Dick throws back as he pulls himself to his feet. Because sure, he feels a little bad, but this wasn't his idea. "You were the one who thought this was a good idea."
Jason closes his eyes. Takes a deep breath in through his nose. And Dick can see it in his face; he knows what's coming, and he's not an idiot. He immediately darts for the path back towards the house.
"Come back here, fucker! I'm gonna fuckin' bury you in this goddamn pond!"
Dick doesn't bother responding; he's faster than Jason, and -hopefully -by the time Jason makes it back to the house, he'll have cooled off a bit.
And if not… Well, Dick can always just barricade the doors until Jason realizes he needs Dick to take the hook out.