Chapter Text
James stood at the bedroom window, watching the first hint of dawn appear in the sky while Ruby slept soundly in the bed behind him. He should have been sleeping, too. The Dauntless had returned to Port Royal the previous afternoon after a long, tedious eight weeks at sea, and he was tired. He was glad to be back on land. He was especially glad to be back with Ruby. For the first time in his life, he had experienced what it was like to miss someone back home while he was at sea.
Ruby met him at the docks, and from the moment he embraced her and kissed her, he knew she was hiding something. Whatever it was, it didn’t seem distressing to her, so he didn’t press her about it. He was just happy to go home, with his wife, to a hot meal in his own home. After supper he sat in his favorite chair with a brandy in his hand and Ruby across from him, where he could see her face clearly after missing it for weeks. They watched the sun begin to go down and enjoyed each other’s company until James realized he was falling asleep where he sat.
James rubbed his eyes and sat up a bit straighter in his chair, trying to keep himself awake. He hadn’t realized how tired he was.
Ruby looked over at him with a smile. “You should go to bed.”
He nodded and returned the smile. “Probably.”
“In a minute.” Ruby stood up and crossed the room to stand in front of him. James frowned slightly, but she only smiled back. She took his hands in hers. “I wanted you to be the first to know,” she began, “but you were gone for weeks, and I had to tell somebody, so Henrietta was actually first. But now that you’re back, I can finally tell you.” She paused, and her smile reached her eyes. “James, you’re going to be a father.”
James looked up at her in surprise. He glanced at her midsection, then met her eyes again and stood up to join her. “You’re…”
She nodded. “I am,” she said. “We’re going to have a baby.”
James looked at her for a moment longer, feeling shock and happiness and some uninvited apprehension all at once. He wanted to say something to convey how pleased he was by the news, but he couldn’t find the right words. Finally he just pulled Ruby into an embrace and hoped that would say enough.
Now the sun was just peeking above the horizon, shedding early light across the bay. James heard a movement behind him, and turned around to see Ruby sitting up in bed and squinting at him across the room. “What are you doing?” she asked. “Is something wrong?”
“Everything’s fine,” he assured her. “I didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to sleep.”
Instead, Ruby got up and joined him at the window. “You should go back to sleep, too.”
He smiled briefly. “I tried.”
Ruby wrapped her arm around his and rested her head against him. “You’re happy about the baby, aren’t you?”
“Of course,” he said. “Ruby, I’m overjoyed.”
"But that’s what’s on your mind, isn’t it?”
He sighed. “Yes” he admitted. “But not because I’m not happy about it.”
Ruby was silent for a moment. She just leaned into him, letting him have time with his own thoughts while they gazed at the first hints of sunrise. She was thankful to have him back home again. She was relieved he finally knew about the baby. He had taken the news well. Of course she had expected him to be both happy and surprised, but she was glad the happiness had overtaken the shock when he learned about their child.
“We still have months yet,” Ruby finally said. “We'll have plenty of time to get used to the idea of having a child of our own. I’ve known for weeks and I’m still not sure it feels real yet.”
James smiled faintly and gently pulled his arm out of Ruby’s grasp so he could wrap it around her. He held her close as he stared silently out at the sky. A baby. A child to raise. He had very little experience with children or babies, and he couldn’t think of any other time when he had felt so unprepared and ill-equipped for what was ahead. Ruby was right: it didn’t feel real yet. He supposed it would, eventually. Maybe then he would be able to figure out how to feel ready for such a responsibility.
Ruby looked up at him. “What are you thinking about?” she asked.
James met her eyes. “I’m just wondering what kind of father I’ll be.”