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r/relationshipadvice You can't marry someone you've just met at a bar ?????? This is why divorce rates …
r/ask · sure buddy, it depends! where do you work?
u/haydp55123156 commented 11 years ago · 5 points
I'll be a successful hockey player one day
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r/OffMyChest · u/haydp55123156 · 2d
My best friend's boyfriend who kept insulting me for years is now complimenting me whenever he sees me. Is he planning to kill me?
[Flaired: just a rant]
Ok I need to get this off my chest because I feel like I'm losing my mind. If I say this out loud, people will either laugh at me or quietly call someone to check if I'm okay
So my bestfriend has a boyfriend and yes, that's cool, fine, personally think he deserves better but whatever. I believe my best friend really loves him, and because of that, I want to try to be civil with this guy. My best friend is such a kind, thoughtful person, the kind who always tries to take care of himself and others, and he means so much to me. I care deeply about his happiness, and honestly, I’d do anything for him.
Anyway, this boyfriend has spent months or years insulting me. He has treated me like I personally keyed his car in a past life or even in this life. Not joking, not really teasing, and just insults that make me feel like I'm a bother. Sometimes I pretend it doesn't sting and I make a joke back, but I don't know.
But now? Now he won't stop complimenting me. He even hands me a candy whenever he does it. Every time he sees me it's "looking good" or "nice shirt" or "you're good at pssing" and making eye contact while doing it
I don't understand how someone who spent literal months making me feel bad can suddenly act like a normal human being. I've also gone through every possible scenario in my head. Maybe he's plotting something, maybe he's bored, maybe he's realized being mean is evil and wants to be polite, maybe I'm imagining it, maybe this is the universe playing a cruel joke on me, or maybe it’s just guilt talking, because I did something unforgivable to them
I just can't tell anyone "Hey yeah remember that guy who insulted me constantly? Yeah you see now he always compliments me and I think he might be planning murder"
I've thought about things I could do. Smile politely? Thank him? Life is so confusing, everything is exhausting.
Whatever, I just needed to vent because otherwise I’m going to start imagining that every person who smiles at me secretly wants me dead, and that’s a terrifying way to live.
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CosmicToaster · 2d
there’s rly no better way to ask this BUT is there any way you're just beefing with a 12 yr old? my younger sister does that just to piss me off
No, he's also in his 30s I think
ToastedMarshmallow88 · 2d
"making eye contact while doing it"? OP, please proofread.........
I meant when he’s complimenting me, get your head out of the gutter. He's my bestfriend's boyfriend and I have a wife
notlavalampluvr · 2d
YTA people can't just say "did something unforgivable" and pretend it's nothing my godddddd oh wait
this also means you haven’t known the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of having an annoying sibling
xxNeonBanana · 1d
Feels like bestie's boyfriend's pavlov-ing OP? Any psychologists wanna weigh in?
pixelatedpenguin · 1d
as a non-psychologist, this tracks LOLS
also no one asked but if I got treats AND compliments that consistently i’d probably start salivating too
PizzaNinja812718 · 1d
And so? Are we talking operant or classical here, ladies?
idk but all i know is that op's like his dog now :D
orangeyBuddy · 1d
Man someone tell OP he's losing the idgaf war. If I was him, I'd just compliment him back HARDER. And suck him. Never let anyone know ur next move
FlyingHamster32 · 1d
Ngl, I kind of want one. Someone hand me candy and a compliment at the same time and I’ll be yours forever
thepickletoast · 2h
so all the standards out here are just getting lower and lower huh
pancake_jellyf1sh · 1d
well lighten and buckle tf up, this is what siblings do lol
youre def just being ragebaited LMAO
64 Reply ⋮
DiscoDuck · 1d
wdym “youre good at pssing”??? CAN YOU ELABORATE LIKE HOW? IS IT VERY HIGH? IS IT LIKE WITH AN ANGLE? ACUTE? RIGHT? 180 DEGREES? 🤔🤔🤔🤔
56 Reply ⋮
Shit. I meant "passing"
polkadot121633 · 9h
You’re leaving stuff out, but we all know you like the candy and the compliments. (Btw if I hadn’t read your comment about having a wife, I might’ve thought you had unresolved feelings for your best friend..........🏳️🌈❓🤨)
43 Reply ⋮
No to all of that
WhistlingBurrito · 8h
judging by the OP’s comment history… I think he's employed at the boy aquarium 😏
24 Reply ⋮
bbbbiibi88 · 6h
nowadays we just say water park like a normal person
[1 Award ]
I play hockey
o that makes more sense actually yea
- Rozanov
- Pike, need a favor
- Is important
- Pike
- Who are you?
- Rozanov
- Fuck off. Jackie told me you saved my number with my name
- Pike
- You know you’re gonna run out of these favors soon
- Rozanov
- You have good eye
- Is this good? Watch
- Pike
- What in the actual fuck am I looking at
- Rozanov
- I propose soon with billboard
- Is very sweet, yes?
- Pike
- Wow a billboard
- Rozanov
- I want world to know I’m marrying the Shane Hollander
- Pike
- Then why is your photo on it and not his? Or maybe even a photo with you two??
- Rozanov
- Don’t want people looking at him
- Pike
- Right
- Of course, totally normal thing to say
- Pike
- Don’t get pissed but
- I just think Shane’s not really into that…?
- I know he loves you and he’s gonna love anything you do
- He’s probably gonna cry and be happy about that billboard
- But he’s also just… into the simple things
- Rozanov
- I know
- I’m pissing you
- You react funny
- Pike
- Well ok then, I’m thrilled to be a source of amusement
- Rozanov
- But I think I just do video
- Pike
- Or maybe just do it personally
- Rozanov
- Boring
- How you propose to Jackie?
- Pike
- I bought her a ring
- Kneeled down
- And proposed
- Rozanov
- Great one
- You’re obviously the best person to ask for proposals
- Pike
- I feel like I’m reading everything you say wrong
- Your words on text are good
- But I think I need the tone to really know
- Rozanov
- Don’t overthink
- I do video
- I send you later
- Pike
- Why even send it to me?
- Trust your gut man
- Rozanov
- You edit it
- I need audio with video
- Pike
- Ok whatever
- Anyway
- If you’re going to kneel on the video
- Please just do a lunge
- Practice first
- Do not lean back on the back of your knee
- That shit looks ridiculous
- Rozanov
- People practice that?
- Pike
- Yes and I’m serious
- It usually looks so ugly
- Rozanov
- I like doing lunges
- Pike
- Congrats 🙂
- Rozanov
- You must’ve been so ugly when you proposed
- Pike
- Jesus there he is
- Where have you been
- Welcome back
- Rozanov
- Ah you missed the bad talking
- Pike
- No
- Rozanov
- You do
- Pike
- Rozanov, what’s the fucking favor?
- The video editing? Anything else? Flowers? Food? Venue?
- Rozanov
- But do you think it’s good time
- Pike
- For what? This? No. I should be napping with my wife and kids right now and not texting you but here we are
- Rozanov
- Isn’t Hollander too young?
- Maybe he thinks I’m rushing things
- Pike
- You’re right
- That’s my 30-something year old best friend, you sick fuck
- Rozanov
- Is good to wait more years, yes?
- Pike
- No, I’m kidding
- Do it whenever. His heart eyes have been waiting for you ever since the world began
- Rozanov
- I knew you support me
- You’re best maid of honor
- Pike
- Yeah yeah
- Look at me I’m Ilya Rozanov
- I get to propose to Shane Hollander
- Man fuck you
- Rozanov
- Haha
- Pike
- Why jump straight to proposal anyway?
- Did you ask his parents for his hand first?
- Rozanov
- Why
- I have my own hands
- Pike
- Ok asshole
- You absolutely knew what I mean
- Rozanov
- You get angry so easily
- Cheer up
- Pike
- You make it sound so easy
- Rozanov
- I finally finished video
- Pike
- I guess nothing’s gonna stop you once you decide
- Rozanov
- Is scary to do audio
- Dont know what to say, I have been trying for hours
- Pike
- I get you
- The great speech is usually scary
- Just say something from the heart like memories with the both of you or just poetic shit
- Pike
- You can say it in your language
- Send me the translation
- I’ll just subtitle it
- Rozanov
- You do that for me?
- Pike
- I mean sure
- I’m actually flattered that you trust me with this
- And it’s your favor anyway
- Rozanov
- Admit it
- I’m your best friend too
- Pike
- Don’t go around saying that out loud
- Rozanov
- Ok bff
- Anyway here’s the video
- I send audio after I finished
- Pike
- I honestly don't know what that video is
- But it's your relationship so sure
- Pike
- Anyway, if you can, make me a link
- So I can download it easily
- Rozanov
- Ok
- I see what I can do
- You’re good person and great friend, Pike
- I give you candy soon
- Pike
- Man you gotta stop pavlov-ing me
- I already agreed
- Rozanov
- What do you mean
- Pike
- Nothing
- Don’t forget to do a fucking lunge when you propose
- Rozanov
- press-play-add-this-to-video.mp3
- Is good?
- Pike
- Fuck yes it's good
- Rozanov
- Kiss your wife with that mouth?
- Pike
- 🖕
Rozanov
Today 2:48 PM
Today 5:09 PM
Today 8:10 PM
Today 8:26 PM
press-play-add-this-to-video.mp3
·|၊|။|||။၊|။||။||။||။၊|၊|။||||။၊| 1:22
I once had injury, a bruise on my shoulder. Maybe mistake, maybe accident.
—Fuck. I can't record again. Edit or… Just remove that, Pike. I never make mistake.
But that night I remember your lips on my skin. On that bruise. You say it will go away soon, and you smile like it is nothing.
I remember thinking, maybe even praying, let bruise stay. Let it stay so you must come back and kiss it again.
You asked me this after one boring movie, and I didn’t know answer then. I know now.
I don’t want you to live longer than me. I don’t want to go first and leave you.
I don’t want you to wake up and reach for air where I should be. I don’t want to be memory when I can be body.
Is selfish, I know. And it is how I love you, without breaking world around us.
If I rise from grave because you keep crying there, you will be headline by morning.
“Husband of pretty Shane Hollander back from dead to wipe his tears.”
Sounds almost good. Maybe it hides news that you became very bad hockey player by then...
Maybe I rethink.
You alone are proof I lived, Shane Hollander. I am content knowing this.
Remove all fear from your chest, let only my head rest there. Please... You’re everything. Marry me, yes?
u/haydp55123156 commented 6 years ago · -81 points
Well challenge accepted