Chapter Text
2025 Feb Sydney Airport to Sunshine Coast 86
S Hi Sweetie Pie.
E Hey Love.
S Well that was the best break I’ve ever had with the kids. Four weeks in Manly and they didn’t want to go home. They’ve been bragging to their friends about it. Alma asked if Francey could come up next time.
E Of course! We’ll always find room. Mama had a pretty good time too. She loved seeing you all again. After you left she had a little cry and said she was so sad that they’d spent most of their lives far away from her on the other side of the world or different part of Australia. Zoom is no replacement for hugging kids. And feeding them and pinching their cheeks.
S I know they often pretended to be annoyed, but they loved all her attention. They’ve always loved her. She put on a brilliant Christmas as usual.
E She doesn’t knock back a bit of help these days, can’t do it all herself but we were all there. Tell Louise thanks for hanging around the kitchen and doing all the jobs Mama foisted on her, and give Mary thanks for her desserts.
S It was pretty special seeing Mama teaching Louise, she loved learning how to make ricotta and generally hanging out in the kitchen. She’s a keen cook. I knew hardly anything about cooking when I first met your Mama. Desserts are Mary’s thing, especially if she doesn’t have to turn on an oven.
E Then she left on Boxing Day and got to have her own break from you lot.
S Yeah, sounds like she had a great time with all her arty friends at the fancy New Year’s Eve, but seeing the fireworks from your boat in the harbour was just amazing. The girls were raving at her about it. We reckon she really missed out on the real fun!
S We got to dance and sing and be silly waving at other people in boats. We were in our own private space but also sharing it with everyone on the harbour, it was so beautiful with all the lights on the boats all around us. The moon and the stars shining above us.
E Yeah, but you got pretty sloshed at home after the girls went to bed though.
Silence
E What was that about?
S Yeah…. I don’t know... the Henrys left and you were talking to people I don’t know and a weird weight seemed to fall on me. I just suddenly felt a bit sad and I wanted to cheer up, so I super-spiked my Piña Coladas with too much alcohol. Sorry if I freaked you out.
E All I know is, I’m starting to drift off and suddenly I have this big feral tomcat climbing up my chest, meowing at me and trying to eat my face off.
S I think I thought I was trying to speak your language at you.
E Definitely meowing.
S Well you are pretty feline.
E And you’re so adorably silly when you’re drunk. I was half asleep and giggling at you and then you broke the two main rules, and the kids are in the house! Your tongue's down my throat and your hands’re wandering south...
E It took all my inner and outer strength to not break the third rule. But as Jimmy Stewart once said, you were worse - or better - for drink, and there are rules about that.
S Naww…….Put me in your pocket, Ed……
Silence
E I won’t charge you rent.
E I had to lift you up and virtually carry you back to the master bedroom and calm you down.
S You were so gentle and sweet to me it made me cry.
E One of the reasons I stopped drinking so hard. It always ends in tears. You fell asleep pretty quickly though.
S You were lying beside me stroking my hair.
E Mmm. People bang on about my long hair, but I reckon your goldie locks are vastly underrated.
S Aww. It was so lovely falling asleep next to you. (Sniffling)
E Are you OK, Stede?
E You were pretty quiet on New Year’s Day.
S I guess at the turn of a new year you think about where you are in your life. I’ve been having a good bloody hard look at myself and who I am and who I’ve hurt and the things I’ve done. Where am I? What makes me happy? All that stuff.
E Have you been seeing a therapist?
S Yes, and I guess it’s a sort of midlife crisis really, which is why I started seeing the therapist.
E I can’t believe you got an appointment with one, friends tell me it’s nearly impossible at the moment….. Were things that bad?
S After we got back from Edinburgh, where I’d been OK, everything suddenly felt overwhelming. Massive post-show withdrawal but also I think I took on a bit too much last year, and I still want to do everything but I’m planning to step back a bit. So that’s a start.
S Performing has been lovely and I’ve been thinking about giving some of the reins over for The Kid’s Company to Frenchie and Lucius. I wouldn’t mind teaching some classes, but I don’t think I want to run the whole thing on my own anymore, way too much pressure. Though I must say, that extra couple of weeks up in Sydney were really helpful. I felt a lot calmer and less stressed by the end.
E Well, you’re always welcome to come up and stay at my place if you ever need a break, time away from it all. Whether I’m there or not. You’ve got your spare key. Just text or call me first.
S Thank you. You’re the best. Always have been, my Best Man.
S I can hear the boarding call, I hope the filming all goes well and the weather is good for you.
E Thanks, after five seasons we’ve got it down pretty well, to a routine. Most of the outdoor shooting was done late last year, this is indoors stuff for the next few weeks.
E And I better board. How about we Facetime while I’m away?
S OK, fab. Fun Fact?
E Yep.
S In America, the average dog’s lifespan is longer than the average marriage.
E Better not get married in America then! See ya Stede, love ya heaps you know.
S I know, I know that.
E Bye Love.
S Bye Sweetheart.
Note: Ed is quoting Jimmy Stewart as Mike in Stede’s favourite film The Philidelphia Story, and Stede quotes Katherine Hepburn’s character Tracy back to him.
2025 Late March Mooroochydore Airport to Sydney 87
S Hello Ed.
E Hey, I’m heading home.
S You know, it was so lovely spending all that time with you again after Christmas.
E Fucken great!
S And then we came back to Melbourne and you had to take off to film in Queensland and even with Facetime, I’ve been missing you so much. Every day.
S I decided it was time… To have a big talk with Mary.
S The Big Talk.
E Oh.
S I was going to wait to tell you about this in person, but I’ve waited twenty years and I don’t want to wait any more, Ed.
S I was wondering if you’d like to go out on a date?
E What the fuck now?
S I’m in love with you. I’ve always been in love with you and I want to be with you.
E What? Be with me? You’re in love with me. You mean us? Together? Properly?
S Of course. Are you OK? Are you with me, or…
E Course I’m with you. I never left. Fffucken hell, I…I think this is the happiest I’ve ever been in an airport.
S Why are you crying then?
E You’re the one that’s crying.
S I am too.
(Sniffles, noses blown, heavy breathing)
S So where are we going on that date?
E …… I’m flying into Sydney.
S What a coincidence, so am I. I’m at the airport as we speak.
E (breathes out) You’re full of surprises today! Fuck. Um… I’ll be home within about three hours, so it could be there. You’ll probably get there first. You’ve got your key?
S Yep.
E I know…. Tomorrow night, we can step out properly. We’ll dress up, I’ll take you to the swankiest fucking restaurant on the harbour and kiss you in front of the Opera House.
S Gosh. …Don’t you have to book way in advance for those places?
E Not me.
S Oh, that’s right! You’re Blackbeard.
E Ahuh. But tonight, let’s have our first date in. Just us. And I’ll order a tonne of food. ‘Cause after I’ve stripped you of your cashmere cardigan, your silky shirt and made wild, passionate Hankie Pankie with you, you’re going to be very, very hungry.
S Well, (giggling), at least I know the first date dress code now.
S I’ve packed a lot of luggage.
E Did she turf you out?
S No, I decided it was time to leave and she wasn’t at all startled. I think it was a relief to talk it through. We’ve had fairly separate lives for a little while now. It seems… she’s in love with Doug.
E AHA!!
S Ahuh. Yes. And, you know…. We’ve really been living as friends, not talking about it, staying together for the kids, but that’s not fair on any of us. I can keep a low profile for a bit, and they’ll be fine, they’re used to me going off performing with the crew and Mary going off on painting retreats. I can spend every second weekend in Melbourne with them and whenever Mary needs me to. She said I can stay in the spare room, for now, if it works.
S We spoke to the girls about it too. And I told them about you and me. They were bloody mature about it. Alma is sooo savvy. She said we were always staring at each other, and giggling, sharing secrets. And she noticed you slip your arm around my waist when we were watching the fireworks.
E Just a hug!
S And when you pulled your arm away we linked pinkies.
E She notices everything!
S She takes after you. I’ve left her my car to learn to drive in, and she’s at Uni this year. Francey will be with her, she’ll be alright. Louise was a bit clingy but was helping me pack and being a good girl. She’s always been the baby but she’s twelve now and said “now you can be happy with Ed and Mum can be happy with Doug and we’ll be a bigger happier family”
E Oh Stede.
S I promised I’d Facetime them when I got to Sydney.
E They can stay with us whenever they like, Francey too, and you can use the flat in Melbourne if you need it. We can both spend more time there. Though, you’ll miss Captain Barnacle as well.
S I’ll visit him, and anyway I’ll have you to annoy me when I’m trying to work, and to curl up in my lap in front of the TV.
E Purr in your ear.
S The Kids Company has a brilliant crew and can just about run itself now, Frenchie is a great director, fantastic with the kids. I don’t need to be there all the time. I’ll start sorting out the details next week. I’m going to make Lucius a full partner in the business, he really deserves it.
E Yeah, he does. (groan) We’re starting to board now.
S I’ve given half my life to Mary and I want to give the rest of my life to you. If you’ll have me?
S I think it’s your turn. Our turn.
E Oh fuck, Stede. (shaky) I’m all yours, and now I’m weeping in an airport again.
S I know, I have some tissues for you.
E Hmm?
S Look up.
E What?
S Look up from your bloody phone.
E Wha… oh.
S Hello.
E Hey. Stede.
E You’re here, by the window.
S I’m here. I flew up early, Jim helped. I’m coming home with you.
E Home. Our home.
S Mm. And I’ve got a Fun Fact.
E ‘Kay.
S I love you. That’s it.
E That’s it. I love you. I love you too, Babe.
S Now hang up ‘cause I’m going to kiss the life out of you.
(Giggles and smooches)
The End.