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It was the middle of May, and yet, Nox was colder than he had ever been before. No amount of layers or shelter could warm him because this cold came from within.
It was hard getting up from the recently churned dirt, to leave the etched stone he had spent the past few days resting by, but he had to eat. What's more, with daylight came the family who was supposed to be there, unlike Nox. A lowlife shouldn't be grieving over someone of higher status, whom most would assume would never cross his path, would never dare to grace the likes of him with his ethereal presence.
Yet, Nox laid as a pitiful heap at the foot of a grave. The green carnation he had brought a few days prior had withered, much like he had. Pale, hungry, and lethargic, Nox almost wished that the ground would swallow him whole now that his only source of light had been snuffed out, plunging him into a world of darkness.
The summer sun crept up from the horizon. Nox forced himself to leave the ground in fear of being discovered by those who deserved to mourn.
Nox needed food and drink. He felt sluggish as he trudged the square, looking for a place to steal from. People pointedly turned up their noses at him. He knew he looked awful, covered in freshly placed dirt and likely with dark circles under his eyes.
Nox wearily looked around before spotting his intended target.
Swiping bread was always easy, at least it normally was when his brain wasn't functioning at such a slow speed. Luck was not on his side as he was caught.
"Boy, you have to pay for this bread!"
"I have not a coin to my name! I have no job, and nowhere will hire me!"
"How about that pocket watch?" The constable reached for the chain.
"NO! Please! You cannot take it! That's all I have left of him!" Nox shrieked and squirmed, trying to fight his way out of the men's arms.
The constable twirled the chain of the watch that was was now in his grasp.
"Perhaps you should have been more wise before attempting to steal from these fine people. You may keep the bread. I believe this covers it." The men walked away leaving Nox to collapse on the ground.
Nox sobbed as he broke off small pieces of bread, hoping to stretch it for a few more days.
It was fully sunny out, and yet it could not compare to the light that came in the form of Charles Hollow. In comparison, it felt like the darkest time of night.
That night, the groundskeeper found him and forced him to leave the cemetery. Nox trudged back to his usual spot, sparing one more glance at the stone, reflecting the moonlight off its polished surface.
~~~~~~~
It's been a year since Charles has passed. Nox could not say whether the pain had grown or shrunk or remained so constant that he has grown numb to the feeling.
In order to stay afloat, Nox had gotten involved in the wrong circles. The prospects of a regular job had been lost long ago.
He was now nineteen, had been for months. He had spent more time grieving Charles than Charles had been in his life. He met the boy the fall before his eighteenth birthday and lost him the following May.
Why did someone he had only known for such a short time make such a large impact on him? Perhaps it was because it was the first time Nox ever felt truly loved.
Now, Nox was haunted by the empty hole Charles had carved into his heart with all the kindness and love contained within the boy who seemed to be made of sunshine itself.
Nox swiped a carnation from the flower stand as he passed by.
The cemetery was quiet, the sounds of the streets being more distant than any other part of town. People wanted the dead to rest, Nox supposed.
Nox twirled the carnation in his hand. While a yellow flower would be more reminiscent of his fallen star, the green one in his hands had more significance.
The stone looked dirtier since he had last seen it. The once freshly turned dirt had been grown over with grass. Nox sighed as he placed the carnation at the base of the headstone, sticking it into the ground to stand upright.
His finger traced the words etched into the stone: CHARLES HOLLOW 18XX TO 18XX LOVING SON GONE TOO SOON
"Hello, Charles. A lot has changed since last I was here. I have changed a lot since last I was here. I… I fear you would be disappointed in me. I tried so hard to live the life you had encouraged me to. You always did see the better in me, but I'm afraid there's not much of it left."
Nox sighed, dropping his hand from the stone. He needed to prepare. Tonight he had a large heist to commit.
He placed a kiss against the rock before standing up and quietly departing the cemetery.
That night, Nox found a jar that stripped away any part that Charles would have been able to recognize.
Nox was cold, colder than he had ever been before, without the warmth of his blood or the grace of his star shining down on him. He was the new moon, dark and invisible without a source of light.