Chapter Text
Note 1
It’s not a diary.
My sons wrote diaries when they were little. Kano always had plenty of them everywhere because he was losing them almost as fast as gaining the new ones.
It’s not a diary. It’s just a very professional journal dedicated to follow the growth and development of Lomion.
…things I am doing for you, Nolvo. Damn it.
Note 2
Lomion is one year old now, well, probably. It’s not really easy to decide, because it’s his second life and he was not born this time. He appeared out of nowhere with me, thanks to creativity and a bad sense of humor belonging to Mandos.
Just for your knowledge, Nolvo, this fucking Vala had re-embodied us in the Garden, in the middle of night.
Anyway, Lomion is one year old now.
He is small but pretty chubby. I remember how tiny Fingon was. They are the same, Nolvo. I am sure you can imagine it.
Lomion is very silent and calm, none of our children was like this. Not even Moryo. Not even Ingoldo.
Ah. And he doesn't like the sun. To be fair, I don’t like it either. It’s uncomfortable for the eyes and very bright. How could you live with it above your head?
Note 15
Lomion managed to learn a new word, it’s his tenth one.
It’s “Up!” and he is using it in a soft, polite tone, looking at me with big, trusting eyes every time.
I am not sure if any of our grandchildren should be so… I mean he is not a baby of Ingoldo, for the stars’ sake!
Note 24
Lomion had now almost fifty four words in his collection.
He never screamed at me with any of them. Not even once. He is always just talking. You know, almost the way Ara was talking when he tried to make us both be good for each other in the past.
He will be two years old soon. We have been in the Garden for two years already. I made a small workshop. I am building simple benches and various shelters around the clearing where our shelter is. Lomion seems to like listening to me while working. And watching me too.
I heard his name from father was Maeglin. This person didn’t call him like this without a reason.
I think your grandson has not only a good sight, but an outstanding one. His eyes are special.
You should heal faster, you old fool. Otherwise you’ll lose your grandson’s whole childhood. You don't want it to happen. I know that you are doing your best to not let it happen.
Note 50
Nolvo, for the sake of the stars-
What the hell happened exactly to your grandson in the previous life?
He is calm, silent and polite, he never screams, he never cries out loud, he doesn’t even call me if having a nightmare!
I needed to learn to recognize changes in his breath to notice if his dreams are bad. It’s very helpful that he is sleeping by my side-
But he grows really fast. What will I do when he will be big enough to have his own bed?
My only hope is that he will learn to call me through the next few years.
He now has a very big collection of the words to use and he is better with talking everyday, but he isn’t able to tell me about what is haunting him during sleep.
Maybe he needs to learn more words first?
Probably a toy would be a good idea too. He has his own little tools, but nothing like a child's blanket or a doll.
Kano always loved dolls, he used them as a public for his small singing shows at home when he was little. Tyelko had a doll to sleep with. Nerdanel sewed a big dog from rags for him when he was barely a newborn.
I know how to sew clothes, for sure I can figure out sewing a doll too.
Note 53
…Don’t you dare to ask about how sewing a doll worked.
If you will ask me about it, I will deny that I ever wanted to try.
Note 76
Lomion will be a good blacksmith or an artist, Nolvo.
He is brilliant with a hammer and other tools. Everyday he is growing slightly bigger and more aware about the world around him. Everyday he is also getting better and better at smashing things into powder. This way, thanks to his determination, we made a few colors of the paints already. The brightest is yellow, the darkest - red.
Unfortunately, I don’t have the proper ingredients to make more than just a bit of blue.
Lorien probably will be happy that in his crazy Garden there will be many colorful benches now. Lomion even painted one of them alone. It’s covered with his tiny handprints. It’s perfect. I bet he will want you to see it and check every small stain.
He is very careful, very sharp, small details are not something he would ever miss. To be fair, I think he is always searching for the tiniest elements before looking at the whole thing. No matter what he would get into his hands.
Note 120
It’s the fourth birthday of Lomion and we have our own forge now. I finished it yesterday.
I know what you think, but I swear that your grandson loves it.
I made him his own much smaller forge-like space nearby, so he wouldn’t be hurt while I am working. I PUT ALL POSSIBLE PROTECTIVE SONGS ONTO IT AND AROUND, I swear.
I am sure you remember how delighted Tyelpw was with his small false forge as a baby. Yeah, I know. Tyelpe was ten, not four, but I don’t have anyone to help me here.
No one to play with Lomion when I need to work so the maiar would still bring me the small bags with supplies that we can’t get alone.
I can’t do everything with only some stones and wood. For some toys which are able to keep Lomion’s attention for a very long time I also need some metal and gems. You know, moving parts, shiny details etc. Mechanisms of metal are better to keep and rebuild than the wooden ones. At least here, in the Garden.
…damn.
Why am I even explaining myself to a journal? You’ll not read it until you’ll re-embodiment anyway.
How long will we wait?
Are you better?
Note 121
Lomion noticed how I was writing a journal for you. He decided to start painting pictures so you could see them after re-embodiment.
Better not fuck this up, Nolvo.
The one who is supposed to be troublesome for our family is me. Me. Not you. It was never you.
Note 122
We made new paper sheets today. They are drying now under Lomion’s careful attention. It will be Lomion’s own journal to paint for you.
He is so proud, Nolvo. So excited.
I think he almost screamed in joy today when I offered to make a journal together.
I never before heard such a loud sound from him.
For now, have this:
[A glued to the page sheet with a hand painted art with two colorful blobs, one purple and one black].
Lomion said it’s us so you’ll know we are waiting. He is a smart little spark, Nolvo. I think he might be smarter than all four of your children. And by that, I mean them all together.
Note 337
Your grandson is waaay too independent.
He started to try with little trips away from the clearing and our shelter.
For some reason five years old is sure that the best time for alone trips is a fresh, barely lighted dawn.
I know the Garden is safe.
But it doesn’t mean that I like the idea about a five year old wandering unsupervised in a magical garden of Lorien. He can’t die here - probably. He will not be eaten by a wolf or bitten to death by a bee swarm. To be fair, okay, I am not sure if an elfling can be bitten to death by the bees. But since Tyelpe explained to me that such situations were able to kill some of the mortal men-
I am uncomfortable around the bees now. I don’t want them around this precious grandchild of you.
He can’t die in the Garden - probably, but it doesn’t mean he can’t be harmed or break a bone. I am not a doctor, Nolvo. The only time I had to put a bandaid on a child’s arm was when Tyelko was pushed down from the tree by a bully.
We both hated every second. I am proud that he later bite this little fucker so strongly that this child’s father, lord-of-whatever, was looking at me as if my children were a bunch of wild animals.
They were, a bit, you know-
Note 338
I was worried about bees.
Not anymore…
Now I am a bit worried about the shadows. Apparently Lomion has friends among the shadows. Like the trees, branches, I don’t know, maybe grass (?).
Shadows shouldn’t be able to grab my hand or embrace an elfling like a blanket. But they did grab me to stop me when I was taking Lomion to take a nap. They immediately listened when asked to go away, though.
I was thinking about it during Lomion’s nap. I will watch him and the shadows in the future. It might be a part of a magic belonging once to his father… he was apparently a strange elf from Beleriand, right?
Maybe he practiced some sort of the strange, dangerous magic?
Or maybe he was not entirely an elf. Melian had a child with an elf, this Luthien. Who knows if she was the only child of a maia and elf.
And who knows what powers such a hybrid would own…
I am slightly worried, but not scared. I would never be scared of your grandchild, Nolvo. Not when I was watching him telling childish stories to his shadows.
What dangerous creature would listen patiently to an elfling telling its sweet nonsense?
I will help him if needed and protect him if anything strange will happen.
Note 339
Hey, Nolvo, are you healing in the halls?
Better for you if you are.
At some nights I think that I and Lomion might be lonely.