Chapter Text
Chapter Ten
Jess
“I told you that you didn’t have to take care of all that,” Matthew says, setting down the box of Christmas decorations he just dug out of the office closet. He gestures at the piles of manuscripts on Jess’s desk. “That’s a lot of writing to peruse.”
Jess shrugs. “I’ve been out. These are easy.” He points to one stack. “No.” And then the other. “Yes, maybe.”
Matthew picks up the top manuscript from the “maybes.” “Damn, you read fast.”
Jess grins. “Why do you always sound like you’re surprised by this?”
“Maybe because Chris is extra slow?”
“Hey!” Chris calls from the other side of the room. “I’m thorough. Slow and steady and all that jazz.”
“And thoughtful,” Jess reassures his business partner. “Speaking of. What did you think of the parts I shared?”
“The chapters from your ex-girlfriend’s memoir?” Chris asks, sitting up in his rolling chair, which squeaks in protest.
“Yeah,” Jess says, trying to keep the emotion out of it. He asked permission from Rory to share the first three chapters, which were mostly tightened up and had way less of the boyfriend stuff in them.
“It’s good. Really good.” Chris reaches back for the pages, regarding them. “Love the three generations of Gilmore women theme. Love the title.”
“But?” Matthew asks, clearly picking up on what Jess is detecting in Chris’s tone.
“This isn’t our usual type of book. Is she sure she doesn’t want to go more mainstream with it?”
Jess feels relieved that his concern isn’t about the writing. He knows Rory is good, but with the overflow of emotions he’s tapped into, he hasn’t been sure if he’s been objective enough. “I don’t know.”
Matthew puts his hand on his shoulder. “Are you sure you’re okay finding out more for us? I mean she’s your ex, and I sure couldn’t poke around in my ex’s writing, fiction or nonfiction.”
“Me neither,” Chris says, flipping the first few pages back in place.
Jess’s heart pounds. He knows they’re right. Part of him knows this is too close to home, but he finds himself saying, “I don’t mind. She’s family, too.”
Chris passes the chapters to Matthew and says, “Super weird, huh? Technically, you dated your stepcousin.”
Jess angles over to pull out a string of lights from the box. “We weren’t stepcousins then. And that doesn’t really matter. It’s not like we’re blood-related.”
“Complicated,” Matthew observes. “I think if you think we should publish, one of us should edit.”
Jess hasn’t been thinking this at all, but hearing it said out loud. . . “You’re probably right.”
“So, you’re headed back to Stars Hollow for the Christmas break?” Matthew knows nothing about Rory’s pregnancy or Logan’s arrival, but always the observant one, Matthew is picking up on something Jess can barely acknowledge himself.
“Yeah. I think so. She’s writing a lot, and since we’re closed, it’ll give me a chance to really know.” Jess knows how this sounds. “Plus, I promised my little sister I’d be there for Christmas this year. Going to her play next weekend, and then, I’ll go back once we close.”
Chris, who has a kid a little younger than his sister, gets it. “Great.”
Matthew is gazing at Jess with even greater perception now. “We’re here if you need us,” he says with all the double meanings.
Jess unknots the end of the strand of lights and meets Matthew’s gaze. “Thanks.”
The three men take fifteen minutes to spread understated Christmas decorations through the office. There were only a couple more weeks until they closed for the end of the year holidays, but inevitably, someone will come in to drop something off or pick something up. The little bits mattered in business. Plus, over the years, Jess has come to appreciate the camaraderie that comes with the three of them celebrating the holidays as co-workers whether they stayed or went out of town.
Chris and Matthew take off after they decorate with a promise that they’ll all grab a drink and a meal tomorrow at their favorite pub. It’s their yearly tradition and their office Christmas celebration of choice.
Then, Jess’s phone pings, signaling an incoming text. He reaches for his phone on the desk and sees a text from Rory.
“Emailed you more pages. Just a heads up. They’re partly my early years at Yale. Stuff with my mom and grandparents. They might be hard to read. Just know that they’re my truth, and I know that my truth may not always be accurate or fair.”
Jess tries not to read too much into her message. “I got this. I’m a professional, remember?”
“You’re also human, Jess.”
Jess doesn’t reply to her second text, instead pulling up his email on the computer. There’s more than he anticipated, but he reads it in a rush, not skimming, taking it all in. Her grandparents separate, and there are the awkward dinners in the pool house or the main house. Her mother dates someone named Jason who sues Rory’s grandfather when he backstabs him. The opening of the Dragonfly leads to Lorelai kissing Luke for the first time and Rory sleeping with a married Dean after Jess visits her at Yale and asks her to run away with him.
Jess cringes at his younger self’s desperation and confusion, and he feels a mix of guilt and regret for pressuring Rory and anger at her for jumping into bed with Dean. Then, she meets Logan at Yale, and he’s every bit the asshole that Jess assumes he’ll be.
Her grandparents throw some weird party to introduce her to wealthy Yale men, including Logan, and Dean breaks up with her. Jess hates himself for feeling relief and jealousy all rolled into one. He wonders not for the first time what Rory sees in Logan.
Rory and Logan meet again and again. At some waste of money, time, and resources event thrown by a secret Yale society. On the floor of the Yale Daily News. At her grandparents’ vow renewal. She proposes they date casually with no strings attached because that’s what Logan does with women.
Jess abruptly closes the file when he gets to that part of the story.
Intense emotion presses in on him from all sides, infiltrating every fiber of his being. The tension is so tight he doesn’t know what do with it. He stomps his way out the door of Truncheon, angrily drives to his apartment complex, and storms into his apartment.
Getting ready for bed does nothing but make him more stressed. Before he turns out the light, he realizes he’s never going to sleep.
He gets out of bed, snatching his cell phone off the nightstand. Before he can talk himself out of it, he sends Rory a text. “Why would you put up with him?”
“Jess, did you finish reading all of it? ”
He huffs, typing still in a rush, “No. I couldn’t get past you doing the friends with benefits thing to be with him. The fact that he let you do that, that he didn’t see you as someone too special to do that to says everything about him. He treated you like shit because he’s a rich asshole and can get away with it. What I don’t understand is how he got away with it with you.”
Her reply is immediate. “That’s rich given how you treated me during our relationship.”
“That’s different, and you know it.”
“Is it?”
His heart aches with the pain of how lonely he felt back then, how he was digging himself out of a hole with nothing underneath his feet. “You really have no clue, do you?”
He paces while he waits, his heart pounding in his chest.
After what feels like forever, Rory texts, “What do you mean?”
“I had nothing to offer you, but he had everything and gave you breadcrumbs. And you lapped it up.”
“If you kept reading, you would understand. I wanted to try something new, and I ended up finding something I didn’t expect.”
Stubbornness and hurt rear their heads. “I don’t want to understand. I don’t know if I can keep reading.”
Another several seconds tick by. “It’s okay if you can’t.”
Angry at everything in a way he hasn’t felt in a long time, Jess lets out a loud cry of frustration and throws his phone across the room. The device thumps on the wall and clatters on the floor. Too pissed to bother checking to see if it's broken, he climbs back into bed and turns out the light.
* * *
Logan
“I’ll have you know, I decorated three more trees,” Logan says as soon as Honor answers the phone.
His sister’s voice is warm and amused. “Hello, little brother. Three more Christmas trees? How are your fingers? Do I need to mail you Band-Aids?”
Logan laughs. He picks up his wallet and keys from where he left them near the DVD player in his room at the inn. “No Band-Aids needed. I’ve hit my stride. No more finger pricking.”
“You always were a precocious learner. Where are said three trees?”
“All in Luke and Lorelai’s house. And you would be interested to know that Rory and Lorelai used to decorate seven trees every year. They’ve cut back much to Luke’s relief.” He sits on the end of the bed to pull on his shoes.
“Oh really?” Honor’s question is full of other questions.
With one shoe on, he says before he loses his nerve, “I have news.”
“Waiting with bated breath over here.” He pictures her holding her breath.
“I’m still in Stars Hollow.”
“I figured what with the tree decorating.”
“And. . . Rory’s pregnant.” There is no going back now.
“What?!” There’s quiet on the line while Honor processes. “Wait. Who’s the father?”
Logan tugs on his other shoe. “You’re talking to him. It happened when we were together before. When we had the Vegas arrangement and I came to see her in Stars Hollow to cheer her up.”
“Oh my god. A baby.” Honor takes a deep breath. “Phew. I mean, how do you feel about it?”
Logan’s heart trips a little. “Do you want the honest answer?”
“Of course.”
“I’m so happy.”
“I hear it in your voice. That makes me happy.” She sounds positively giddy.
“But.”
“But?”
Logan stands and picks up the key to the room. “Rory and I aren’t together together. Officially. Yet.”
“Oh.” He can almost picture Honor frowning when she asks, “Why not?”
“It’s complicated.” He searches around for his coat to avoid thinking too hard about the complexity and spies the garment draped over the chair.
“It doesn’t have to be.”
He tries to think how to put it succinctly. “Neither of us is okay.” Saying it out loud opens a window in his mind that he so carefully decided not to look through.
“Yeah?” Now he can hear Honor’s worry.
The open window lets oxygen in on things he’s been holding inside. He paces in the small room. “Well, there’s the whole way my engagement ended. The way Mom and Dad are handling it. Did I tell you Dad wants me here through January now? Something about how I need to think about what I’ve done and come up with a plan to reintegrate into the company without making waves.”
“How old does he think you are? Five?” Honor’s frustration with their father matches Logan’s, which he is grateful for.
“Right. And I’m still getting texts from that guy from before. Dad was having an affair with his wife.” The new messages break Logan’s heart every time he sees them.
“Oh, Logan. Block the guy.”
“I can’t. He’s important to a major contract with the company. I just keep telling him to reach out to my backup.”
“And it keeps reminding you of you and Rory and Vegas?” Honor referencing this makes him realize how happy he is someone else in his life knows about everything.
“Yeah. Plus, Rory’s struggling with what we did, too. I don’t know how she feels about being part of the world we live in with all its golden handcuffs and gilded cages. And she’s writing her memoir and hanging out with Jess who may or may not be trying to get back together with her.”
“Her ex-boyfriend, I’m guessing?”
“Yes. But he’s also a publisher who might want to publish Rory’s memoir. Plus, Rory’s mom is married to his uncle, so technically, he’s family.”
“Whoa.”
“Yeah.” Logan slumps on the edge of the bed again, running a hand over the cool surface of the floral comforter.
“So, you’re happy except when you think about all of that.”
Tears fill his eyes. “Yeah. I’m really happy about the baby. A baby with Rory. I love her, Honor.”
“I know.”
“We’re spending time together. She’s been in her head a lot. In a not so good way. And so have I. We don’t do anything big. Just get dinner or walk around a park or drink coffee. It’s been really nice. Needed. We’re not hiding.”
“Like a breath of fresh air.” Honor sounds wistful. “Enjoy it before the baby comes.”
“I feel free when I’m with her.” He hasn’t known quite how to say it until now.
“You still have the job interview with Josh’s company on Friday. You have options, Logan. Maybe you need a fresh start. You had Thanksgiving in Stars Hollow. Come here for Christmas. Bring Rory. We’ll shower you in hugs and love, and she’ll see that being in the Huntzberger world is not all about appearances and dynasties. We’re a warm, safe little haven. There’s a door in and out of the gilded cage. You just have to find the door handle.”
There’s a soft knock on the door, and Logan opens it to find Rory on the other side as per their now usual routine.
She smiles at him with a question in her eyes, no doubt seeing the phone in his hand and the remnants of emotion on his face. He opens one arm to her, and she draws close to him, wrapping her arms around his waist.
“I’ll ask her. Thank you, Honor.”
“She’s there now, isn’t she?” Honor is back to being amused.
“Yeah.” Logan strokes Rory’s shoulder.
Honor laughs. “Tell her I said hello.”
Logan thumbs the speaker on. “Tell her yourself.”
“Hi, Rory!” Honor calls.
Rory smiles. “Hi, Honor. It’s been a long time.”
“I’m so happy to hear your voice.” Logan can tell Honor is being careful not to let on too much.
“I told her about the baby like we talked about,” Logan informs Rory. “And well, I had to tell someone about us, so she knows everything.”
Rory’s arms tighten around him in reassurance that this is okay. “I’m glad you have your sister to tell things to.”
Honor pipes up, “Josh and I want you and Logan to come here for Christmas. To our house. Our parents usually spend the holiday in Greece, so it’s just Josh, me, and the kids. Well, and the two of you if you want to come.”
“Honor wants you to see that maybe being in this part of our family isn’t so bad,” Logan adds to reinforce that the invitation isn’t his doing, that Honor wants Rory there, too.
Rory gazes up at him, searching his face. She kisses his cheek. “Okay. We’ll be there.”
He responds by kissing her – really kissing her for the first time since New Hampshire. Her mouth is warm and responsive with just a hint of urgency. His whole body urges him to linger, but he doesn’t. Not yet. When she pulls back, he feels her tremble, how even the barest bit of affection leaves her a little breathless.
The kiss is tender, affectionate, and brief, but to Logan, it means everything. It means that maybe they’re on their way back to each other, that maybe he can hope even if there are still obstacles to overcome. He can’t help but grin at her, and she grins right back.
“Logan? Rory?” Honor calls, breaking their reverie.
“We’re here,” Rory says, pushing her thumb through his belt loop. She’s not letting go.
“I’ll see you soon.”
“See you soon.” Logan hangs up the phone. “What are we doing today?” he asks without expectation.
“Can we get Chinese food from Al’s for lunch and watch ‘The Long Morrow’?” She pulls a Twilight Zone DVD out of her purse. “I found it on eBay. Mom is at the inn. Luke’s at the diner. We can go over to their house.”
He takes the case from her hand. “I can’t believe you found a copy.”
“It’s an early Christmas present.”
“Ace, I don’t need gifts.” His heart tells him he’s pleased though, and he can’t keep it out of his voice.
“Don’t worry. It didn’t cost very much. The going rate for really old Twilight Zone DVDs is at the level of bargain bin prices. But this one was important. You are important. To me.”