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mike listens to chappell roan and gets his car run over by a train

Summary:

mike does not like chappell roan

Notes:

FUCK U MIKE WHEELER I HATE YOU

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

"Mike... can you and Eleanor out to grab food for tonights dinner? Wilson wants ravioli." Mikes wife, Willow shouted across the house.

Mike was laying on his Lay-Z-Boy watching Family Guy and drinking a buzz ball... it was his, fourth of the day? He let out a sigh, before yelling back at his stupid bitch of a wife.

"Fine! Fine! Since you just can't do anything..." He burped, and pulled himself off of the Lay-Z-Boy. Eleanor, was sitting on the floor drawing, huh, just like how Will used to do... Mike grumbled something to her and she shot up, following him closely.

"I'll be back... soon. See you." Mike waves goodbye, Willow comes up and leaves a kiss on his cheek, to which he ignores. 

Mike flops into the front seat of his yellow Nissan Cube, not bothering to buckle in his 7 year old to her booster seat. He starts the car, and mumbles something about wanting more buzz balls.

"Daddy! Daddy! Can I pick the music?" Eleanor exclaims, grabbing at his phone. Mike sighs disapprovingly.

"Why? Don't you wanna listen to the Butthole Surfers more?" Eleanor shakes her head fast.

"No! No more Butthole Surfers! Please dad!" She almost sobs, "Can we play Chappell Roan?" Mike sighs and pulls out his phone at the next red light. 

"Can you play The Subway first? And then Good Luck, Babe?" She asks, excited Mike isn't forcing her to listen to the Butthole Surfers AGAIN!!

Mike nods along to the beat of the song, its pretty good!

 

I saw your green hair, beauty mark next to your mouth

There, on the subway, I nearly had a breakdown

A few weeks later, somebody wore your perfume

It almost killed me, I had to leave the room

 

Mike grimaces, wow! This sure does remind Mike of his life!

 

Made you the villain, evil for just moving on

I see your shadow, I see it even with the lights off

I made a promise if in four months, this feeling ain't gone

Well, fuck this city, I'm moving to Saskatchewan

 

Mike feels his eyes watering a little, wow! This really reminds him of the time he was a fat fucking chud and fumbled the bad bitch Will Byers!

 

'Til I can break routine during foreplay

And trust myself that I won't say your name

But I'm still counting down all of the days

'Til you're just another girl on the subway

 

"Daddy, are you okay?" Eleanor asks, seeing her dad clearly distraught. Mike doesn't answer... this song really, really reminds him of a certain someone!

Mike bites his lip, and goes to skip to the next song. Eleanor lets out a whine, "Daddy!! What was that for?" Mike doesn't respond.

Well, this songs a little better! It's also pretty catchy. That was until...

 

You can kiss a hundred boys in bars

Shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling

You can say it's just the way you are

Make a new excuse, 'nother stupid reason

Good luck, babe (Well, good luck)

Well, good luck, babe (Well, good luck)

You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling

Good luck, babe (Well, good luck)

Well, good luck, babe (Well, good luck)

You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling

 

Oh wow! Haha! Maybe this reminded Mike a bit of his pathetic chud self!

Mike was approaching a train track, he could here the blaring sound of a bell ringing, signaling him to stop the car.

 

When you wake up next to him in the middle of the night

With your head in your hands, you're nothing more than his wife

And when you think about me all of those years ago

You're standing face to face with "I told you so"

You know I hate to say, I told you so

You know I hate to say, but I told you so

 

Mike stops his car in the middle of the train tracks. Haha! Wow! He can't focus on driving anymore. His eyes well up with tears as he thinks about Will, who he knows is succuesful and happy now... damn... he really fumbled a bad bitch...

"Daddy! Daddy!" Eleanor wails, as she pushes open the door and runs off the train tracks. 

Mike grabs a buzz ball from the compartment under the passenger seat. 

 

You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling

You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling

You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling

 

Mike thinks of Will Byers one last time and how badly he fumbled... before he's hit by the train.

Notes:

eleanor is fine btw and willow ends up in a happy lesbian relatonship