Work Text:
Ottawa WAGs + Harris + Shane
Lisa: Hey, heads up, please tell all of our boys to try not get injured on home ice for the next few weeks
Lisa: This is not a drill
Priya: LOL good luck
Jen: Not gonna happen
Cassie: What? Why?
Cassie: Do we need an emergency meeting?
Lisa: Just heard from my Emerg friends that 3 of the orthopods in Ottawa are out unexpectedly for the next few weeks, minimum.
Lisa: The ortho department at TOH is understaffed and they are trying to shuffle OR schedules. It’s pretty bad, so yah, try not to need surgery
Priya: Oh god I’m sorry I laughed. That sounds terrible.
Cassie: What happened? It’s a little early for flu season? I hope it’s not new COVID or whatever.
Cassie: Don’t think I can survive another one of those.
Lisa: LOL.
Lisa: No new COVID. Thank god. Don’t think I can either.
Lisa: I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this, but the members of the Ontario Orthopedic Association usually have a hockey game after their annual meeting.
Lisa: Actually, I want to start by saying I respect all of my colleagues.
Lisa: But some of them are idiots. Sometimes.
Lisa: Anyway, some orthopods get together to play hockey, which they did recently. But they forget they are not hockey players, and don’t know how to check properly.
Lisa: Anyway, there were 3 pretty bad injuries, including a spinal fracture.
Lisa: Hence we are down 3 surgeons for a while.
Lisa: They are all fine and expected to make full recoveries btw. Just can’t stand for prolonged periods to operate for a while.
Priya: OMG
Priya: What in the name of…
Priya: I have so many questions
CaitieD: Hi, I just got off a meeting.
CaitieD: What did I miss?
Priya: Like they did this to each other?
Lisa: Not intentionally.
Lisa: …I don’t think.
CaitieD: Wow
CaitieD: OK
CaitieD: Avoid injuries. Got it.
Lisa: I love my orotho colleagues and appreciate all the work they do for our boys and the people of Ottawa in general
Cassie: This is not helping in the way you think it is Liz
Lisa: But some of them have more muscles than brains.
Lisa: Sometimes.
Lisa: Think your typical hockey boy, but they go on to become doctors
Lisa: But they are hockey boys at heart even though they are bad at hockey
Lisa: #StayInYourLane
Cassie: I think we should speak with Shane and he can have a serious talk with the team.
Cassie: Does Terry know? Can you reach out to him Liz?
Lisa: Already sent Terry a message earlier.
Lisa: Honestly this is not the first time it’s happened. Just the worst in recent years.
Lisa: Terry’s been around the block a few times so he knows what to do.
Jen: I don’t know if Tanner will listen but I’ll try
Priya: Same
CaitieD: Why are men?
Lisa, Priya, Jen, and CaitieD liked this message.
Ilya: Hi my most beautiful and sexy ladies!
CaitieD loved this message.
Ilya: I get so many messages during nap
Ilya: What is going on
Ilya: Oh, I understand
Ilya: Check extra hard next games especially Voyageurs
Ilya: 😈
Cassie disliked this message.
Lisa: That is literally the opposite of what I just said
Cassie: Please don’t Ilya
Ilya: It is my responsibility as captain
Priya: I think you spelled chaos demon wrong Ilya
Lisa @Shane @Harris
Lisa: Looks like nap time is over. I’m calling Shane.
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Centaurs Team Chat
Roz: Listen up you unimaginative fuckers
Hayz: I regret ever teaching you that word
Roz: New strategy
Roz: We check extra hard during home games
Roz: Mostly when we play Voyageurs in 2 weeks
Bood liked this message.
Roz: Be smart
Roz: Be clean
Roz: Actually minor penalty is ok if the timing is right
Roz: BUT no head, even by accident. Do not damage head
Roz: That is bad and I will personally punch you
Luca: Quick question. Why are we doing this? Not that we don’t hate the Voyageurs.
Roz: A little bird told me some doctors who fix bones are sick
Roz: They played bad hockey and broke their own bones
Roz: And now we don’t have enough bone doctors in Ottawa
Bood: 😂
Bood: For real?
Bood: Yo Nails and Chewy you hear that? Cap’s got a new assignment for you.
Dykstra and Chouinard liked this message.
Bood: 🤣🤣
Bood: I can’t wait
Luca: I’m not sure that’s what we should be doing…
Bood recalled a message.
Bood recalled a message.
Bood: Cassie just texted me that we should not do whatever Rozy is telling us to do.
Dykstra: ☹️
Chouinard: ☹️
Holzy: Hi everyone, I just got off the phone with Lisa. Ilya is just joking. We are not doing anything different. Let’s keep the game safe and clean.
Roz: Is not joke
Roz: You are trying to make hockey boring
Holzy: Ilya…
Roz: We hate Voyageurs. Some of them deserve extra pain
Bood: Not gonna lie, I won’t be heartbroken if some of them suffer a little more…
Holzy: One, no. That is not how it works. If anyone needs emergency surgery, they will get emergency surgery. All that does is bump back someone else’s scheduled surgery, like someone’s grandmother’s hip replacement. Or making it that extra bit harder on an already strained system when there’s a traffic collision.
Holzy: Any injured player will still get whatever it is they need right away. It’s everyone else who will be affected.
Bood: When you put it that way…
Holzy: And two, we want to beat the Voyageurs. On ice. Cleanly. Because we are a better team that’s insanely good at hockey. We beat them because we are superior, physically and mentally.
Luca: 👏
Hayz: 👏
Barrett: 👏
Roz: Romance is dead
Roz: You don’t love me anymore
Barrett: That’s not what he said when I was in the room next door on our last roadie
Holzy: I’m not going to dignify either of these with a response.
Roz: 😏
Roz: If you don’t agree, why don’t you come back upstairs and show me
Holzy: So the other thing I want to talk about is Lisa told me one of her friends is on the…doctor’s rec league, let’s call them that. He mentioned to her before that injuries are not that uncommon at their games.
Holzy: Some of the doctors are orthopedic subspecialists. Like we only have a handful of them in the entire country.
Holzy: I was thinking maybe we could run a “clinic” once a year to help improve their safety and skill. We can do it in the summer, just one to two days. And whoever is around can volunteer. We can ask for a donation to charity.
Roz: What I’m hearing is more work and no fun ☹️
Holzy: Lisa’s friend is a paediatric spine surgeon. Do you want to save kids or not?
Roz: When you put it that way…
Roz: Fine
Bood: I’m in.
Hayz: I’ll be there.
Dykstra: I can do it if I’m around.
Barrett: Same
Chouinard and Luca liked this message.