Chapter Text
To Deena,
I didn't want to go with Mom and Dad, but the car broke down and me and Ben have nowhere else to go. They told us to pack everything and that we would go up to Grandma in New York. I tried to run, but they found me hiding in the lake where we used to go swimming. I didn't get it until then. I thought the news was lying, like it always was, you know? But no, there really were dead people walking around now and I saw them for real by the lake. Ben and I begged Mom and Dad but they wouldn't wait for you. I told them you would only be home in a day, but they didn't care. They told us we'd be dead by then.
We had to go. I'm sorry I couldn't stop them, but at least they let us come here to your apartment. Ben and I took some of your food. I hope that's okay and you won't need it because you'll find a place that's safe and we'll all be reunited once this crazy shit is over, right?. Ben left you one of his walkie-talkies. I guess if you find this letter you'll already know that, but he wouldn't not leave it. I told him it wouldn't work when the batteries died, but he didn't care. He said it would lead us to each other again. I hope it will.
I don't know what to write other than I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't come over more or call you whenever I could. I'm sorry I was mean sometimes and that I didn't believe the reports when they came out. Maybe if I did we all could've left together. I'm so scared, Deena. For me and you and Ben and everyone. I just have to hope you'll make it home safe and read this letter and laugh at how stupid I'm being right now. I love you. I hope this isn't the end.
It can't be.
Yours truly,
Kelly
* * *
Deena's first priority when she awoke was to throw the dead zombie body into the river. It was still lying beside the tree, crumpled up like an old ragdoll tossed in the wind. She was hesitant about touching it so directly, so she kicked the thing along with her tattered sneakers instead. Deena pushed it along the forest path, trampled down from past travels, thinking the whole time of her lost siblings.
Kelly, the typical rebellious teenager who had fought back against everybody but Deena. She had been so bright, so caring, so full of unreached potential; now it was all gone. Ben, the young boy forever directionless in life now that his sparkling childhood had been taken from him - his joyful, toothy smile used to light up rooms and warm the coldest of hearts. It hurt too much to ruminate on the tragedies that could have befell them, so she instead chose to not think of them at all.
Deena still kept the walkie talkie she'd found on her bed those few months ago. She'd been boarded up in an old store with some others the first few days of the end, but when she returned to her apartment only a few miles away, everyone was gone. She'd found Kelly's letter, the missing bags of pretzels, and the little plastic radio toy that was now her only connection to the old world.
She estimated she'd have about a year's worth of batteries if she rationed, all taken from the giving, open arms of Nanni. Deena missed that woman. Her wise words, however sugarcoated, had comforted her in those lonely days. Now, there was just the trees to keep her company.
Deena's foot caught on a rock and she waved her arms to stop from tumbling over down a hill. The body rolled over down the small slope into the moist area of the riverbank. She'd reached her destination. With one final kick, Deena sent the corpse into the rushing water. It churned through the current, blocky and stiff, splinting into chunks as it was barreled against sharp rocks. In a few minutes, all that was left was gathered bones at the bottom of the stream and a red, bloody tint in the rage of the river.
* * *
A good week had passed since Deena's initial find, and there was nothing left to show for it. It'd fed her good those last few days, anyways, but she needed more. It was too dark to head out now, but it was alright. Waking up on an empty stomach would only fuel her further.
Just before Deena could lay her head down to sleep, a rustling sound hit her ears from beyond the safety of the tree. It was too loud for another rabbit, and there were only a few other options - none of them exactly desirable. Deena tucked her trusted knife into the back of her pants, stuck in place by her undergarments. She peeked out of the branches, on her hands and knees, and scanned the scene.
Someone called out. "Uh… hello? Anyone there?"
Deena jumped back in surprise. The branches swooped calmly back into place. She could hear the person on the other end similarly fall back in shock, presumably only a few feet away.
"I - I'm sorry, ma'am! I didn't mean no harm!" The voice called from behind the brush, frantic and of the same slanted drawl that the old man from the farmhouse had spoken with.
Deena squinted and crawled closer. The plea seemed sincere, and whoever was there on the other side couldn't ambush her through the cover of the tree. So far, she seemed safe enough.
Tentatively, "… who are you?"
The voice resumed. "Jimmy! My name's Jimmy. I was just walkin' through here, looking for someone, that's all! Seriously, ma'am. Didn't know anyone was 'round here!"
Deena weighed her options for a few moments before standing up and hesitantly leaving the cover of the tree. Standing before her on the other side was a young man with a cowboy hat too large for his premature head. He held a small pistol in his right hand, though his incessant shaking made it clear he wouldn't be using it. Still -
"Drop the gun," Deena commanded. Her knife stayed hidden.
The man laid it down on the ground and gulped. He was far too clean to have been living out in the woods like Deena had for so long. She wasn't feeling good about this - about him. He raised his hands, sweaty palms open to the humid, stifling air.
"I'm Jimmy," he repeated.
"I know," Deena said bluntly.
They stared at eachother in silence, the man afraid at the sudden encounter and Deena unsure of how to go about this. She hadn't spoken to another human being for months. She had forgotten how to hold herself without falling back into her natural, swaying state of uncertainity; she was sure it showed now, in the way her hands wrung together and her feet couldn't stay in one spot for more than a second or two. Nevertheless, the man's fidgeting was worse. It nearly looked like he was on the verge of a seizure.
"Who were you looking for?" Deena asked.
Jimmy swallowed and glanced around the untamed brush. "A little girl. She got lost somewhere 'round here. Blonde, blue eyes. You seen her?"
Deena shook her head. "Haven't seen anyone. You're the first."
Jimmy nodded, his gaze leaning towards accusatory. "… you sure?"
Their standoff resumed. Deena didn't like to admit it, but she was much older than she felt. She certainly had over a decade on the young man, even if she didn't want to admit it. She could take him - at least, she hoped she could. It wouldn't have to come to that, though. Right?
"Yeah. I'm sure."
"Uh, alright. My bad, ma'am." A beat. "How long you been 'ere for?" His hands fell back to his sides.
"Just passing through. Only a day or so." In reality, it had been over a week, but the lie flipped the story in her favor.
"Someone stole from us. Thought it mighta' been the same person that took the girl," Jimmy said.
Us?
Deena's face stayed still, but her stomach dropped to her feet. She could see the gears turning in the man's head, just slightly off from the truth and quickly approaching it. Of course, she hadn't kidnapped any children, but the glass bottles she'd stolen from the farm were still beside her bed. Besides, how many people constituted this "us?"
Five?
Ten?
Twenty?
Deena didn't want to find out.
"Well, I hope you find them." She spoke, trying her hardest not to show the sarcastic smirk that she felt rising up her throat. "That really sucks."
Jimmy nodded slowly, reaching down to pick up his gun and put it back in his belt loop. Deena didn't say anything. That would've been too obvious, and it looked like he was already getting ready to leave. She wasn't trying to give him a reason to stick around.
"Well, good luck, uh - survivin' and all," Jimmy said.
Deena quirked an eyebrow before she remembered the story she'd told him. "Oh. Yeah. Thanks."
Jimmy began to retreat, walking back without turning fully around. Deena felt her racing heartbeat start to come down as she went back under the tree, pushing a few branches of the willow's soft curtain aside. Before she realized she'd exposed the incriminating evidence of her thievery, glass bottles and all, she heard the footsteps abruptly stop.
A moment passed.
"… it is you," Jimmy mumbled incredously.
Deena turned sharply, hand reaching to her back, ready to whip out her knife if needed. The man stumbled backwards. In some way, he was expecting this random woman he'd met in the woods to be more than she was letting on - perhaps even the burglar they'd been looking for. What he wasn't prepared for was shooting down another person in cold blood with the gun he'd only ever used to shoot rabbit or deer before.
"I - … uh, don't move!" Jimmy yelled. Sweat began to run down his forehead as he quivered and brought up his gun, chest rising and falling at an unnatural rate.
Deena knew in her heart that he couldn't shoot her, but she couldn't take chances. She brought her empty hands back to the front of her body, palms open and up in mock surrender.
"I thought it was abandoned," she said slowly.
"Did you kill her? Sophia? The girl?" Jimmy said with as much scorn as he could muster.
Deena shook her head, calm and steady. "I told you. I haven't seen anyone around here, let alone a little kid. That's why I thought your farm was empty. Couldn't have known."
A few tense moments passed where Deena began to seriously consider the possiblity that she would die at the hands of this immature teenager. She hated the idea. Jimmy, on the other hand, slowly lowered his gun and tucked it back in his belt after a minute of contemplation.
"… Okay. But if I come back and find out you're lying, I'm going to 'ave to kill ya," he said. "And don't come back to our farm!" The words felt like a joke coming from him.
Deena nodded. "You go do that, kid."
Jimmy retreated down the road, walking slowly as he turned around to face the open forest. He knew when he came back and told everyone that he'd let her go, they'd rage. He was supposed to be brave. He was almost a man now, and how could he ever truly be one if he couldn't even shoot someone else in the leg? Besides, this wasn't a random somebody - she'd stolen valuable food from him and his family. A childish determination arose in him, gathering in the hand that rested by his pistol. A tingling pervaded his senses, sharp on the back of his neck, until he grabbed the gun and turned around, ready to shoot.
He was going to prove himself.
It was too late.
Deena's blade plunged deep into the soft flesh of Jimmy's chest, right through the wall of his beating heart. Blood poured out over the both of them, the man's hands coming up to wrap around the handle in vain. His gurgled moans filled the air, indistinguishable pleas for mercy bubbling up out of his throat.
A lone tear trickled down his cheek before Deena removed the knife, nearly taking his impaled heart out with it. Blood bursted out of the wound like a geyser, coating Deena's tan skin and matted curls in crimson. She spat it back out onto him and wiped her bloody eyes with her sleeve.
Something hardened inside her as she watched Jimmy fall back on the pavement and take his final breaths. She'd never killed another person before, but it didn't feel… wrong. There had always been an unspoken rage and violence within her, one that had no place in the old world order. Now, in this hellscape, it was exactly what would keep her alive.
Deena watched his eyes fade into nothingness, fixated on some unreachable point in the distance. His blood began to pool at her feet, but she was stuck in some sort of trance. She couldn't remove herself from the scene, feeling some sort of perverse fascination with the crime she'd jsut commited. Though, law didn't seem like much of an obstacle anymore.
Deena began to stumble back to her tree after grabbing the fallen pistol and her knife. The sun passed under the horizon, taking the last remnants of Jimmy's spirit with it. Despite the carnage that now covered her body, Deena had saved her own ass and bagged a loaded weapon along with it. She could clean up in the stream in the morning. What was there to worry about, anyways? She shook off the nerves and the looming sense of dread.
It had been a successful day.