Chapter Text
The current does most of the work, carrying them through the darkness. They don’t talk much, each of them lost in their own thoughts simply trying to comprehend what went down today. Trying to digest the fact that what they had done had been (almost completely) pointless.
By the time the sun slowly crawls up the sky and the birds begin to sing. Teddy grabs the two bags Martin had placed for them in the boat. Tavo immediately flinches at his movement, slightly moving closer to Jonathan. Teddy does his best not to look at the startled look on the boys face. Right now he doesn’t want to deal with the guilt that is rising up in his chest. Suffocating. He had almost killed that boy. A mere child. With the same efficiency his father would have.
We are genetically dishonest… it’s in our DNA.
Mathews words still linger in his mind, but he forces these emotions back down into the small little box he keeps hidden.
The young man busies himself with checking the bags. Like he expected one of them is full of cash 500.000 USD, from one of his bank accounts to be exact. He hadn’t dared to take more, he had feared that Juan would have noticed calling Roper immediately, things had gone wrong anyways, but at least they had some cash.
Enough money to bribe, enough for a plane ticket and a small house but not to enough to live a life. They had planned this for the unlikely chance that one of them could make it out alive if things went south. Well, they had gone south and here they were. He avoided looking closer at the passports hidden in a small side pocket. The British blue seemed to scream at him. Four passports in total, another reminder of the man they had lost, a good man who had paid the ultimate price for their getaway.
Carefully, not to wake Jonathan who had fallen into a restless sleep, Eduardo reached into the second bag. He was not entirely sure what Martin had put in there. Earlier when the boy had looked through it, he had pulled out a blanket and a flashlight. The blanket had been wrapped around the British intelligence agent without much of a discussion since he had begun to shiver in the cold breeze of the Columbian night.
The flashlight however, that they hadn’t dared to use. To frightened, to risk someone on a lookout could see them. Hence it had been impossible to make out what was in the bag without a light (besides some power bars, which they had devoured within seconds).
So now Teddy was curious as he carefully opened the zipper. What caught his eye first was a first aid kit, the red shining brightly in the morning light. Relieve flooded through him. They could treat and most importantly disinfect Jonathans wounds properly. Gracias. He sent a quick prayer, to show his gratitude.
For now, the older man was sleeping, he should rest but they would have to stay in the boat for at least another day, before they would reach the waterfall. From there the plan was to hike to a small village up in the mountains. They had a long way ahead of them so it was crucial to treat Jonathan as soon as possible, Teddy had seen for himself that even minor untreated wounds could result in gruesome deaths. A fate he didn’t wish upon his new friend.
Was he a friend though? Or were they merely acquaintances? Forced to form a bond by survival? He wasn’t sure, at some point the lines had become blurred between his plans to use Mathew for his business and Jonathan using him to get to Roper. For now, they were alive, and they would run together, that was all that mattered.
He found a map with several markings, Jonathas handwriting explaining where to head next. Then there was a package of cigarettes.
A small note attached to it: These are for Teddy with an exclamation mark next to it. He couldn’t stop the smile that fought its way up his cheeks. His comrade had actually thought of him, a comfortable warmth spread through his body. Maybe Jonathan did care after all.
The morning passed in an uncomfortable silence. Teddy wanted to talk. He always talked, a habit his father had hated. But he couldn’t help it, some days he felt that all the unspoken words during his quiet time in the monastery demanded to come out. Forcing Teddy to sometimes expose more of himself than he intended, like the day by the ocean, after almost killed Mathew.
He really wanted to talk. An apology would be a good start he thought. Telling the boy that he was sorry for almost murdering him, for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. For seeing the monster that Eduardo was genetically.
When he spoke up, his voice sounded raw and unfiltered:
“Lo siento, Tavo. Siento haber intentado matarte y siento haberte hecho ver todo esto. Siento haberte metido en este lío.“ (I am sorry Tavo. I am sorry for trying to kill you and I am sorry for making you see all this. I am sorry for dragging you into this mess)
the look that crossed the boys face was utter surprise. His hard hammered in his chest as he awaited the response.
Teddy was no fool, he didn’t expect forgiveness but he wanted to help Tavo to relax. As much as one could in their current position. He knew all too well what it felt like to live on the streets of Columbia, he knew that the orphans here had to grow wind if they wanted to survive. Teddy knew what it felt like to always have to watch over one’s shoulder, to always worry that when you closed your eyes to get some very much needed sleep you would never open them again, because someone needed that change in your pocked so bad, they simply cut your throat.
He recognized the uneasiness, the guarded look on Tavos face. And he wanted to let the kid know that he didn’t have to feel like he had to keep up that façade any longer.
It wasn’t hard to overserve that the kids eye lids were heavy, Tavo seemed to force himself to sit upright on the other side of Jonathan, as if he wanted to keep watch on Teddy, to make sure he didn’t have a change of heart and decide it was best to throw them both into the river.
Eduardo wanted to show Tavo that it was okay, that the monster he had seen was nothing more than the mask Tavo was wearing on right now as he stared at older with a hardened expression.
Teddy wasn’t delusional though, he was well aware that that would take time, and that it would probably take a lot more time for Tavo to let his guard down around him than around Jonathan. But he still wanted to try.
“«No te haré daño, sé que la he fastidiado. Sé que estoy hecho un desastre. Pero quiero mejorar, ¿entiendes? Quiero que todos salgamos de aquí. De verdad que sí».
(I won’t hurt you, I know I messed up. I know I am messed up. But I want to be better, you see? I want us all to make it out of here. I really do)
The boy didn’t react much, anger flared in his eyes
“Vete a la mierda” (Fuck you),
but he slumped down the railing a bit.
Eduardo could deal with that for now, it would take time, but maybe they could make this work. Just when he was about to speak again, Mathew stirred. Without hesitation the full attention of the two fugitives was on the brit.
Jonathan wakes slowly, his leg hurts, so do his shoulder and back and his neck is sore as well. Carefully he opens his eyes. Immediately blended by the hot Columbian sun shining down on him.
They made it through the night apparently, not that he remembers much after getting into the boat. Before his thoughts can drift back to the previous night, there is a soft hand on his shoulder, grounding him. Eduardo looks at him with an emotion in his eyes Jonathan just can’t decipher.
“You still with me carbron?”
He feels himself exhale with a laugh, “unfortunately yes”
Pain shoots through his rib cage and he regrets the remark right away.
“Good, I’d hate to carry one alone”,
Jonathans foggy brain considers that Teddy is sincere but pushes the thought aside. They are here because Teddy wanted to survive, its only Jonathan who once again can’t get his shit together and not mix work with feelings.
Before he can condemn his own actions and the heartlessness of using another human being the way he does. Eduardo starts to pull his shirt up.
“Woahh, heyyy!”, he exclaims and tries to pull it back down.
“What Mathew? Planning on catch an infection, by all means if you want to. Let’s just not disinfect your open wounds after we ran through the maldito jungle”,
he sounds pissy. Jonathan wants to tell him that there are more important matters than treating his wounds, that they should try to call sally.
But something tells him that his words would fall on death ears. It’s not like he is in a position where he could just push Teddy of himself, he can barely move one arm as it is.
Wordless Teddy pulls the shirt over his head and winces when he sees the bruises from the beating
“Joder (Fuck) We went too far.”
The look on Tavos face isn’t much better, when he sees the open wound on Jonathans shoulder, while Teddy works on cleaning it and the older bites so hard on his teeth that it hurts to keep the screams at bay, he throws up over the railing. After that he stubbornly looks out on the river.
However, Teddy carefully works on his shoulder and leg and bandages it rather professionally, clearly not doing it for the first time. Jonathan couldn’t help to wonder about his past. There had been no quiet moments to ask the questions he had wanted to ask, to get to know the man he cared too much for, for his own good.
“I must admit, you don’t suck that much at giving first aid”, the agent chokes out between painful gasps.
“Shut up Idiota, casi te matan, amigo.”, is the prompt reply. Reminding Johnathan what a close call it had been.
Now that he doesn’t feel like he could scream his lungs out due to the pain, which has dulled. Jonathan has the chance to take a proper look at the man in front of him. The warm sunlight makes Teddys bronze skin shine, eyes still scanning Jonathans body for further injuries, brows furrowed in concentration, full lips slightly parted. Despite the dark circles under his eyes and the Jonathans blood on him, he was beautiful. Like a painting hung in one of the fancy art galleries Jed was probably working in. Jonathan managed to reach (with his functioning arm) for the youngers shoulder. Placing it there with a slight thud.
“You should get some rest Eduardo”,
The exhaustion was written all over his face, he hat probably stayed awake all night. It pained him to see the bewilderment on Teddies face. As if nobody ever said such caring words to him. The unspoken question hung between the two of them
“I will be fine”,
When the other still didn’t look entirely convinced he added
“I promise I will wake you when I start to feel worse or I see something, okay? But you need to rest. We will need all our strength to get to the village tonight”
That seemed to do the trick, Eduardo exhaled and nodded, “Ok”
He settled next to Jonathan. It was just because there wasn’t much space left and he didn’t want to get too close to Tavo, he told himself. He just sat there, crossing his arms, drifting off within seconds. Jonathan looked up at Tavo who was watching every movement Teddy made, he sighed. The boy would not trust Teddy. And Jonathan couldn’t blame him. If he didn’t feel as connected to Teddy, if he wouldn’t feel like there was this unstoppable, magnetic pull drawing them together, if he hadn’t seen the vulnerable side Teddy always tried to hard to hide, he would probably feel the same way.
He thought what he could say without exposing too much of Eduardos tragic life. In the end he setteled for
“Tavo you should get some sleep too”,
The kid simply shook his head,
“Not with him”, he pointed at Teddy, “so close to me. I will sleep when we reach the village”
There was nothing the brit could do to ease the tension between his two companions so he kept silent and watched the jungle float by. A few more hours until they should reach the big waterfalls. The idea of the hike that would have to follow troubled him already. In his current state hiking for what he estimated were around 15km would be an odyssey.
He startled when a heavy weight landed on his shoulder. Eduardos head had fallen onto his shoulder. The other didn’t seem to mind, the slight snores continued. And who was Jonathan to push the poor soul off, who had just lost the only family he had ever know, who had fought for a fathers love for years, only to be as disposable as a dog. He nudged a bit closer, leaning into the contact and carefully covering Eduardo with the thin bloodied blanket.
Jonathan stayed as still as possible, scared that the slightest movement might wake him . Below them the boat rocked gently in the current, carrying them towards something that resembled safety. Eduardos breathing evened out against his shoulder, warm and solid.
Across from them Tavo kept looking out dark eyes fixed on the shore.
Jonathan adjusted the blanket once more, studying Teddys relaxed face. He looked so much younger, when the weight of the world wasn’t pressing down on him, the older thought. He deserved a second chance at life.
A life that was full of love, happiness and adventure, without any bloodied dreams.
They were still far from that reality. But they were alive and for now that was enough.